Chapter 37: Away

He was crazy, she was crazy. Together they were crazy as ever. They left their jobs to go in a foreign country. She never took a plane to go this long before! As she sat in her seat, she began to stress. How will she react when the plane took off? What if everything went crazy and she broke up with Neil? Everything mixed up in her mind. As she was starting to freak out, Neil took her hand in his.

"You know everything will be alright, right?"

"Yes, I do know that. I'm just scared, you know. I've never got on a plane to go this long, I've never left the country and I'm about to go to a foreign country, I left my job to take a sabbatical and I have absolutely no idea what's going on…"

He laughed. "Be honest, you're about to tell me I'm your worst mistake?"

She looked less tense. "You know that's not true! I'm glad to do this crazy travel to Thailand with you. I'm just scared because this is the first madness I've done in my life. The only thing I can't control. I've always been in control of my life. I had no other choice because of my mother. When I left at 18, I exactly knew what I was doing…"

"Let me guide you, Claire. Enjoy the moment, just be you, this is enough."

She smiled. He was the only one who knew how to talk to her when she was freaking out. She pressed his hand. "Thank you for supporting me no matter what."

"Always." They share a long, meaningful look. No word needed. Just them. And the rest of the world vanished.

"Now you enjoy the moment and you sleep because you're gonna need to be in great shape to discover Thailand with me! You'll see, this is an amazing place! I spent one of my happiest moments on Earth there… That's why I want you to go there with me. Because I want to build more happy memories there with you…"

She kissed him. After a long moment, they separated, leaving their foreheads in contact. The flight attendant smiled at them and asked them to fasten their seat belts. "Happy honeymoon to you two. I bring you some champagne later to celebrate." Before they had time to answer, she was already gone. Neil and Claire looked at each other and burst into laughing. "Married?"

"Tssshh! We're gonna have good champagne. What a better way to start this new chapter of our life and your first trip on a long-distance plane?"

The flight attendant came back later with two cups of champagne. "As I promise! See you when you get on the plane. You're very cute together and seem so happy. Don't change a thing!" And she left them. She had work to do. But she promised to come back with some little things for them. Claire and Neil felt embarrassed. She gave them two cups of champagne. It was enough but for a reason they didn't understand, she kept offering things. And the flight was 16 hours left. They had to tell her the truth.

"Sorry." Neil told Tabhi, the flight attendant who had been so generous to them since they got into that plane.

"You need something? I can get you..."

"No…Thanks, that's very kind of you… You've done a lot for us… But...'" He stumbled on his words, not finding the right ones. Claire decided to continue.

"But there's a big misunderstanding. Actually, we're not on our honeymoon… We're not even married. We're just on holidays… Our first ones to be exact… We're very grateful to you for all you've done for us but we can't accept anything anymore…"

Neil and Claire thought Tabhi would be embarrassed. Instead, she smiled at them. "Married or not, you seem like soulmates. I can feel this. You both release so much positive energy and I'm very sensible to this. That's why I thought you were just married! Don't be sorry, I'll keep spoiling you for the rest of the flight. For me, this is your honeymoon, no one can tell me otherwise." And she left to join her colleagues who were giving free juice boxes to the passengers.

During the flight, Claire and Neil fell asleep. Both were exhausted. Their last months at work had been very hard. They needed to rest. Head against head. Hand in hand. Like two teenagers. As they woke up, Tabhi brought them some food. She really was the nicest person they ever met (with Mrs. Weeks of course!). As the plane landed, they waited all the passengers to be out of the plane to go and thank her for her kindness.

"My pleasure! Wish you all the best. Hope this trip in Vietnam will help you to find what you're waiting for."

Claire and Neil got off the plane and put their feet in a new country, the head full of dreams and uncertainties but all sure they had made the best move of their life. "Time to grab the baggage."

[…]

Here in Vietnam, time fled like hell. Every day, they discovered new places, new people, new customs. In Bangkok, time seemed to be different. Claire had never taken free time before. She fled from home when she was 18, she had to work two jobs to get money because her mother had stolen everything from her just to buy some drugs and alcohol. She accumulated roommates to pay the rent. Then, she had been accepted in medicine school and she worked twice harder. And then she arrived in Bonaventure and continued to work hard to be the best resident. Her efforts paid off: today, she was almost leading the trauma service, she had a triple competence in trauma, cardiothoracic and pediatrics surgery.

And right now she was literally six feet under in a cave, miles away from San Jose, holding Neil's hand and looking at the beauty the world offered to them right now. Khao Luang Cave was so gorgeous, so rich, so pure, so awesome. She had never imagined traveling so far to discover this kind of natural treasures, she had never dreamt of leaving her country to go on an adventure with the man she loved in a foreign country. And though, she was there and she didn't regret to have left behind her her patients, her surgeries, her service.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

She just smiled at him and he knew she was happy. "We should bring Gabbi here one day." It was his turn to smile at her. She was right. One day they will be back here and show Gabbi all these treasures. But right now, Alex accepted to take good care of her while Claire and him were not in San Jose. And he knew she was in good hands because when he introduced Alex to his little sister, she immediately took his hands and talked to him about puzzles and puppets.

"Could you excuse me for a moment? I just need to check on something." And Neil disappeared for like one hour. Claire was puzzled but preferred not to ask more questions. She was on holidays and had to enjoy the place she was visiting. Talking about Gabbi should have woken up Neil's protective instinct and his deep need to call Alex to know if everything was alright in San Jose. When he was back about an hour later, she just smiled at him and showed him one of the temples she had discovered in the cave.

They kept exploring the country and visited Mae Salong. There, only silence and tea fields were surrounding them. Then they drove to Phu Thok mountain. The whole place was so peaceful and powerful in the same time. This mountain was so impressive. As they were hiking, they met monks in the monastery. They took some times to pray with them and also to allow Neil to calm down. Claire didn't know he was afraid of heights. And walking in the mountain was not exactly the definition of spending a good moment for him.

"Didn't say anyone… Except you right now but I think you've already guessed I was not enjoying the moment…"

"You should have told me… We won't be here and we won't be walking those footbridges with nothing but emptiness around us…"

"No… This is the place you wanted to visit, you were so enthusiastic when you talked about it in the plane… "

"And you choose me over your fear?"

"I'll always choose you, Claire…"

She didn't think for a second and jumped to his neck. She hugged him for a while before dropping a soft and warm kiss on his lips. He answered her. It felt like he put all the fear he was feeling in this kiss. Claire could feel all the passion and the strength of his embrace. She cuddled more strongly against him and deepened the kiss. After a few minutes they stopped, their foreheads touching. "I always choose you too, Neil… Hope you know that."

She took his hand and finished to hike and go to the monastery. This retreat away from the city, in the middle of the woods was like a rebirth for both of them. The more time they spent together, the more they knew they were a perfect fit, their perfect fit, the one they were looking for years and had never found... until they came to terms with their feelings.

Their trip continued to the south of Vietnam. They were on the roads for almost two months now. And it felt like it was only a few days since they left San Jose. Time fled where you were with your special someone. They stopped at Lake Cheow Lan to take some rest. The place was amazing, away from everything. They felt like they were lost, back in an old time where cellphones and microsurgeries were only a fantasy.

"How did you know about this place?"

"If I told you, I have to kill you."

"You know I can make you talk, right?"

She looked at him with her naughty, mischievous eyes. God, he loved when she was so impish! People believed she was only a soft touch, an emotional person when in fact she was way more than this. She was funny, strong, smart, special. And she was his. At least, a part of her was because she was a free spirit and she was free to do whatever she wanted.

They spent more than four weeks here, meeting with locals, learning their customs, their traditions. Neil often looked at Claire while she was laying with the children of the village. They didn't talk about having children. In fact, they did but not about having children together. During her first year of residency, just a few time before he broke up with Jessica, he confessed her he couldn't imagine his life without kids. She never said she wanted kids, she just said it was lucky that Jessica realized it before it was too late because some women like her mother didn't and she almost drowned her. Did that mean she was reluctant to have kids because of this? It hoped it was not the case because when he saw her playing with these little boys and girls he knew she was the woman he wanted to have kids with.

They left their house by the lake a few days after, heavy-hearted. All the moments they had spent here will be forever in their hearts and minds. These people showed them what living was worth for. They shared strong moments, met special people and learnt a lot about themselves. By now it was time to go the south and explore Ko Tarutao. When they arrived on this island, which served as a prison for years, Claire couldn't believe her eyes. Once again, this place was stunning. Neil took her hand and left her to the shadow of a tree. On the ground, there were tiny monkeys. Some of them had babies on their backs.

"Let me introduce you to our only neighbors for the next days!"

She stayed in awe for a while. She had never seen a monkey in liberty. It reminded her of her childhood when sometimes her mother was sober and brought her to the zoo. She smiled. "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh nothing, just an old memory." She remained silent for a while. "Thank you for bringing me here, thank you for making me discover all these treasures. Thank you just for being you… I love you, Neil Melendez."

She finally said it loud. She never shared these three words with him before. Even though she knew what she was feeling for him was very deep and strong. In fact, she couldn't remember having said these words to a man before. She had been afraid for months to tell him how she really felt. She had been abandoned so often in her life that she didn't trust human beings anymore. Then she met him as her attending, her mentor, her friend, her boyfriend, her everything. And she needed to let these words come out to know if he was feeling the same.

She deeply knew he was caring about her. He always had. She was just wondering if he was as attached as she was.

"I love you too Claire Browne. Thanks for having turned my life upside down, to have forced me to give up all my stupid moral principles and to show me every day how amazing life can be… Even when we argue about the best way to tidy our socks."

He came closer to her and put his arms around her waist. He let his lip met hers and then enjoyed her presence in his mouth. All their kisses had been amazing but this one had something more, something special. They were in love and now they both knew how deep their feelings were for each other.