Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Danny Phantom.
Note (11/16/2020): Warning, suicidal thoughts and dark themes ahead. Also, sorry if this chapter is all over the place. I tried to write it several times without going into too much detail or repeating what we already know but it's important to compare what almost was in one timeline to what could have been and IS in the current one. Deep down Vlad already knows he's ignoring something important that is only making the guilt in the pit of his stomach grow knowing that while he's giving Danny the life he's always wanted that Vlad feels his little badger deserves he's also robbing his clone Danielle of her happiness since she's still out there all alone and he chose to abandon her now that he has exactly what he wants and his newfound morality is trying to tell him that's wrong.
P.S. I probably should have waited to post this since I didn't notice the errors so sorry about that. Gonna fix that now!
Chapter 36: No Half-Measures
Future Vlad's POV
At some point in the alternate timeline...
It's a strange feeling, knowing that the end is close at hand and yet somehow there's always just enough time left to reflect on everything that has led you to this point. It is in that moment that how you truly felt about your past relationships, about the innumerable mistakes you wish you could take back, seeing the full extent of your regrets, and understanding how many opportunities you've missed in your life, are all brought forward with absolute clarity. But that's just it, the most tragic thing about knowing the end is near is that I know it isn't death that awaits me-
It's oblivion.
Very soon, if the Daniel I met from the past manages to defeat the darkest incarnation of himself forever, this version of me and the entire timeline I'm a part of will disappear and we'll revert to who we were before Dan was created and destroyed the world. And yet in a strange way, I welcome the end after the long painful years I've spent watching helplessly as the Daniel I once knew was twisted into something truly monstrous all because of me. So my greatest regret is that the one time I genuinely tried to do something right by him, I corrupted him beyond repair...
As punishment for this crime, I lost the only person I had left to care about in this world when my poor little badger was murdered by none other than the other half of himself, tainted by the darkness I've been stubbornly carrying inside of my heart ever since I became half-ghost. All those years I let my resentment for Jack and the bitterness I felt towards this world that took away everything I loved and blatantly gave it to the undeserving, I let it poison the mind of a grief-stricken young teenager who had lost his loved ones all at once in a tragic explosion.
It wasn't his fault of course, but Daniel blamed himself for it all the same; feeling that if only he had never cheated on that test they would still be alive as he told me numerous times. However, there's no way to prove whether or not that's true. At least, not for us, but for the Daniel I met from before all of this happened who was being confronted by an active force that was trying to ensure nothing would change the course of his future I had to believe he would find the strength to overcome the odds stacked against him. And I know I've made many mistakes in my life especially where Daniel is involved, but Daniel himself, his life had only just begun and he didn't deserve to watch his family and friends die before his very eyes. No child should have to witness such a thing...
Oh Maddie, how could I have been so blind...? When Daniel first came to me I swore to myself that I would treat him better than I have in the past since I owed it not only to him but also to you and perhaps...even to Jack. But Daniel was never the same after that day. It was almost as if he was the one who died in that explosion and nothing I tried seemed to reach him. And as much as I hated Jack, it is only once he was gone for good that I could see why Daniel could never accept me in the same parental capacity. Because how could I love him like a son the way I always wanted to when my hatred towards Jack and my insatiable greed had always taken first priority before then?
Even once I could legally claim Daniel as my own, I was a fool to think it would be that simple to fix him or that I could ever hope to replace the family he lost. What's more, I had nothing left to offer him since Daniel felt that his entire purpose in life was to protect his loved ones and with them gone there was nothing left for him to fight for. So he lost himself instead to that crushing grief before I ever made the mistake of listening to that absurd request to remove his humanity. Looking back I should have tried harder to come up with some other way to help Daniel instead of settling for taking the 'easy' route of complying with that request...
In all honesty, that was all that kept me going at first, the desperate hope that some part of the Daniel I knew still existed in his ghost-half which is why I assisted Valerie and her father indirectly as much as humanly possible. And all the while I kept trying to believe there was still a way to stop Daniel's descent into utter madness. Especially when what remained of Daniel -who was now calling himself Dan to further distance himself from his human counterpart- launched his first ruthless attacks on Amity Park where he either severely crippled or laid waste to his enemies since he had no desire to show them even an ounce of mercy anymore.
But as one year flowed into the next we grew more and more desperate to stop Dan who had become a force of nature that even I could think of no other way to stop unless we found a way to destroy him which I could not bring myself to do, not after everything I've done to him. As twisted as he had become though, Dan was still...all I had left. I couldn't bear to lose him because that would mean I would have to accept that I was all alone in the world again.
Many years later, in a moment of pure despair, I contemplated finally just ending my life to escape this lonely and wretched existence once and for all. But in the end, I was too much of a coward. Besides which, I knew there was no heaven awaiting me in the hereafter, not after all the things I've done or the fact that I'm the one responsible for the sorry state of the world. And worst of all, I knew that even my beloved parents would be ashamed of the heartless monster I've become who could only watch as the boy I professed to love like a son died before my eyes without so much as lifting a finger to do something to save him. I just sat there, paralyzed by fear when I realized I had completely lost my ghost powers and I did NOTHING!
That said, it wasn't just that guilt holding me back though, it's because without my ghost half I felt...hollowed out somehow like an entire part of myself was missing. I didn't feel complete anymore so I wondered if I died now without my ghost half, would the rest of my soul return as a ghost, merge with Dan, and the process would erase my humanity as well...? Either way, I realized soon after losing my ghost half that the process had broken something irreversibly within me and I would never be the same again.
Even though I had miraculously managed to survive the explosion when Dan destroyed my castle, I could feel myself slowly degrading and knew it was only a matter of time before I breathed my last. But as I said, I was too much of a coward to end my own life to spare myself this prolonged life of misery and suffering not unlike when I was hospitalized after the accident with the proto-portal. And that's when HE came to me-
Clockwork.
As you can imagine, I was highly suspicious of him at first because I hadn't come across a ghost apart from Dan or those serving him that he sent to hunt me down such as my former ally the Fright Knight in over ten years. There was no one left I could trust, and the few that I could were no match for even my weakest enemies so I fumbled for the nearest anti-ghost weapon at my disposal to defend myself even though it was pointless and I didn't stand a chance in my feeble condition. But no sooner had I readied the weapon that it suddenly slipped from my limp fingers as an alarmingly powerful wave of reassurance washed over me when this mysterious ghost, in the form of a brittle old man, slowly floated over to me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder as if greeting an old friend.
This is it I thought bitterly, this is how I die without having done anything for Daniel, for my little badger...
However, when Clockwork told me there was a chance for me to finally redeem myself and to save Daniel that small glimmer of hope nearly brought me to tears and I fell to my knees, trembling. And without hesitation Clockwork then revealed what was to come and while I cannot repeat everything he told me, I couldn't thank him enough for the chance he was giving me, no, giving Daniel, to save himself. All Daniel needed was a second chance. A chance I thought would never come because the human half of my little badger, Daniel James Fenton, was gone forever in this timeline...
That's why I wanted nothing more than to give this other Daniel the fighting chance he needed that I failed to give my Daniel. And it wasn't long before I also realized that the only reason Clockwork revealed what was to come is because he knew my time was nearly spent and the person I was now would cease to exist if his plan worked. Even so, in exchange for my assistance, I told Clockwork that my dying wish was for Daniel to remember me as I am now as something other than his enemy. I wanted him to believe that his Vlad is not beyond all hope and that as flawed as I am I've always cared for him even if was originally for the wrong reasons.
That's why, when the moment Clockwork prepared me for in advance finally came after Daniel's sister sent the other Daniel who was trapped in the future to find me, it was difficult to focus only on what needed to be said because there were so many other things I wanted to confess, things I wanted to apologize for with all my heart. And as soon as I saw the two miraculously stable halves of Daniel before me who were untainted by my malice and greed like Dan had been after I separated them once more with the Ghost Gauntlets, the tears wouldn't stop as I held my little badger close. I didn't care that he was only a version of Daniel from the past, that he wasn't MY Daniel, I only wanted to embrace him so tightly in my trembling arms that he could feel just how much I loved him and how truly sorry I was for all the pain and suffering I've caused him.
Unfortuntately I wasn't naive enough to believe that the other Vlad's road to redemption would be as straightforward and I was absolutely certain that even after all of this his Vlad would likely continue to cause him trouble regardless of whether he defeated Dan or not. At least not unless something could be done to bring us together under better circumstances even though I secretly had plans of my own to see if such a thing was possible with Clockwork's help. And so shortly before Daniel left, in the spur of the moment I sincerely asked him not to give up on me and to do what he could to help that idiot past self of mine finally do something right for once.
Despite understanding why this Daniel had to immediately return to his own time I'll admit there was so much more I wanted his help to fix, but I couldn't be selfish, not when it was HIS life, HIS future on the line. And that is what brings us to where we are now. I am here in Clockwork's tower because he mercifully listened to my second dying request of giving me one last chance to give my past self some sound words of advice before I cease to exist. Because while Daniel has done an excellent job steering his Vlad in the right direction, I think I owed it to 'myself' to help him as well so he'll choose a better path in life. And most importantly I wanted to remind him to cherish Daniel the way I should have from the very begining and to never take that for granted again...
So now that I've done my part to help Daniel at Clockwork's behest, the least I can do is offer his Vlad this one last kindness in the hopes that perhaps if he won't listen to Daniel's advice, he'll listen to his own. That is why before I vanish from this world and leave only this new version of myself behind, I refuse to remain burdened with any more regrets. I refuse to let him repeat my mistakes if there is a chance for us to change for the better or to lose what hope there is for him to achieve happiness and finally realize that the love we've been craving was in front of us all along. And that all we need to do to obtain it is become someone worthy of that love by giving it instead of taking it by force. Because every time we used force, we only drove Daniel further and further away, just like he has driven away someone else who should by all rights be someone just as precious to him.
Vlad's POV
"I must say, I've forgotten how dapper I used to look back in the day. It's a rather refreshing sight compared to what I've been seeing in the mirror for the past ten years," my older self mused to himself before slowly making his way to the nearest gear to rest his weary feet.
Raising an eyebrow I resisted the urge to point out that he on the other hand clearly looked like he had seen better days since his hair was now completely unkempt and bleached stark white as if he had aged far more than a mere ten years while the familiar black suit he wore was torn and threadbare as if he hadn't changed out of them in all that time. Even if my future self was reduced to living in a cave, one would think he would have at least found some spare clothes to change into at some point. That said, I genuinely felt sorry for him now that I had seen the crippled old version of myself from Dan's timeline with my own two eyes whom Daniel had written about fondly in his journal after being saved by him.
This is who I became in that timeline, a broken man haunted by the memory of Daniel's murder and corruption after being reduced to a lowly mortal again when his ghost half was also ripped out. Not that it was that simple because just one look at him told me that this version of me...there was something wrong with him. And no it isn't just because he walked with a limp and looked sleep-deprived, I could tell how fragile he really was just by looking at him...
Almost as if he was mere moments away from death.
As if reading my mind, my older self nodded and told me, "I can tell you weren't expecting to actually meet me the way you met Dan when he managed to anchor himself to your timeline through an unexpected connection to his past self. And I suppose under normal circumstances this meeting would never have been allowed to avoid a paradox. However, where Daniel is concerned, one could say Clockwork has a soft spot for the boy and by extension the two of us as well since we tend to influence our little badger far more than even we realize at times. But I'm relieved to see that you've finally learned some common sense and how to put his needs before your own so it's not such a bad thing anymore."
Placing a supportive hand on the older Vlad's shoulder in the form of a child this time, Clockwork explained before I could so much as opened my mouth to reply, "Yes, as I explained before there are limits to how much I can interfere with the course of the future unless the safety of the world demands it. But given his rather...special circumstances, I'm willing to bend the rules again to keep my promise to him. In order to save the future and set you and Danny on your path to confront Dan and remove the possibility of his creation I told him to expect a visitor from the past and asked for his help ensuring that the young halfa safely made it back to his own time to prevent history from repeating itself. In exchange for his help, I promised to bring him here to meet you once the time was right and Dan had finally been destroyed by taking him out of his timeline just before it collapsed as a result.
"Sadly, once he's finished speaking with you I'm afraid that as soon as I remove the time medallion from his neck he will disappear since his world, his future no longer exists. For you see, the future proceeds choice. And it is our choices that create the pathways to them or unravel them entirely. That is what I am destined to watch over until the end of time, the unchanging past, the uncertain present, and the ever-malleable path leading to countless possible futures."
Switching back to his normal appearance and glancing at the viewing portal where Daniel was still frozen in time, Clockwork lamented softly, "If things had happened as I hoped and he had sought your aid sooner Danny would be here with us to say farewell to the man who rescued him from his prison in the future. But as he is now I saw that it would have been too difficult for him to accept that your future self is fulfilling his dying wish to speak to you and he has nothing left to return to. That is why you must tell him you ONLY met with me today, not the version of yourself from that obliterated timeline. And there is something I also wish to warn you about concerning the near future but it can wait. For now, I'll leave you two alone so that he can set his affairs in order before I see to it that his final moments are painless as possible," And with that, Clockwork teleported away, leaving me alone with my other self.
As strange as it was to ask myself this, I couldn't help it as I casually floated beside my older self and asked, "Of all the things you could have asked for as your dying wish, why did you want to speak to me? Surely Clockwork already told you everything that happened since the timeline changed course or at least what events pertain to Dan such as when he began tormenting Daniel's mind in earnest to the moment I destroyed his core. Wasn't that enough to set your heart at ease?"
Resting his hands on the top of his cane, the older Vlad explained tiredly, "To some extent yes, but because I am only here on borrowed time he is allowed to speak to me freely about a future that no longer concerns me and that is why I, in turn, am allowed to offer you some advice concerning a few delicate matters that he cannot. Because as he explained earlier, Clockwork cannot directly influence our choices. The only reason Daniel was an exception to the rule is because the circumstances were far more extreme and his future involved the fate of everyone on the Earth itself and the spirits who dwell in the Ghost Zone. But in a way, even you have your cross to bear my good man and a trial to overcome-"
Rolling my eyes, I scoffed dismissively, "Oh please, you know as well as I do that while I have changed for the better thanks to Daniel I am under no obligation to 'atone' for anything else since it has nothing to do with Daniel. Isn't it enough that I'm not his enemy anymore or planning to steal away his mother from Jack? A leopard can't change its spots after all. Besides, I helped his little friend Valerie even though I didn't have to at Daniel's request. I even gave her and her father my old mayoral mansion in Amity Park. Compared to before, I'd say I'm practically a saint! So I really don't see why I should have to worry about anything else now that Dan's gone, because to me that's all that matters."
"Ah yes, Clockwork did say I ran for mayor in your timeline just to spite Daniel. That certainly does sound like something I would do back then, but you are missing the point! Just doing 'enough' won't change anything or bring you happiness Vladimir," my older self replied defensively, giving me a stern look, "I should know that better than anyone because I was the one who made the mistake of thinking I could have everything I wanted by taking the quickest shortcut to save Daniel from the soul-crushing anguish he was wasting away from after losing his friends and family. It was my recklessness that RUINED that boy and created something truly evil when my dark thoughts overwhelmed him. Don't you see? I ruined the ONLY good thing in my life but you...you have so much more to lose and you don't even realize it! That is why there can be no half-measures-"
Reaching up and gripping my wrist with as much strength as his debilitated old body could muster, my older self looked me in the eye and I could hear the desperation in his voice as he continued earnestly, "I am you, or rather I WAS you so I know how easy it is for you to fall on old habits, especially when you think you can get away with it. But Daniel TRUSTS you now. It must have been very difficult to reach that point I'm sure given how our past is exactly the same up until the moment out pathes diverged to create two seperate timelines. But nevertheless you EARNED that trust in a way that I never did, not until it was already too late for it to matter in the end.
"That is why I am begging you not to take what you have for granted because that trust can still be easily lost if you're not careful. All it takes is one step over the line again and you could risk driving Daniel away all over again. So someday there may very well come a time when he'll seriously reconsider the idea of continuing to live with you. Now tell me, is that a risk you're willing to take?"
