Disillusion
Bell's voice held a bitter sound. You could hear his breath trembling through the microphone before he continued.
"I want to introduce you to another of these criminal organizations, which reach beyond the Japanese borders, yet is hardly known by the local police. An organization that yet couldn't be caught, and repeatedly evades the law, seemingly too powerful. Never making any mistakes or leaving any evidence behind." The blue eyes behind Bell's glasses held an all too familiar shine. No one could evade his sharp gaze.
Megure pressed his mobile firmly to his ears without realizing that he was still connected to Heiji. He felt paralyzed, sitting on the sofa next to Midori, who glanced at her husband in astonishment from time to time, while she followed the events on TV. The officer, however, didn't notice her eyes on his skin. He had trouble understanding what William Bell- what Shinichi was talking about. Yet, he felt how the numb feeling in his bones mixed itself with new rising nausea.
They had spent the whole day looking for clues. The police, the FBI, and CIA coming together to finally figure out a strategy, and now…
Now, this video has shown up.
He should be talking to the press right now, asking them how they got hold of this information, instead of breathing in Hattori's ear.
But he couldn't…
He couldn't keep talking to Heiji, neither replying to Midori, let alone search for the number of his press contact in his notebook. Shinichi's eyes in the fake face held him in place, covering his tongue with a nasty foretaste of what was to come in the next minutes. Because whatever Kudo Shinichi's intention was, he did it deliberately.
"Today, I'll provide this final proof."
XXX
Kudo's gaze alone stretched the tension to the breaking point in their little living room. His last sentence had caused goosebumps on Sato's arms to rise, and right now, the officer was glad that Noriko was already fast asleep for the past half an hour.
Her gaze wandered to Takagi by her side. Her husband seemed to be frozen since they stumbled across the news while zapping through the TV channels. Where they found the face of the very man they'd been looking for these past days. Perhaps it was because she didn't know Kudo that well, heck she'd seen more of Bell than Shinichi back in his days so that Bell's figure got mixed with the little boy and his oversized glasses instead of the high school detective.
But Bell's blue eyes missed the glimmer of a solved case. The deep blue seemed to pull her underwater, causing a firm pressure on her lungs so that her breath left them all at once.
Something just felt wrong…
"What are you up to, Kudo?"
She blinked at the soft whisper of her husband beside her. He was feeling it, too.
Takagi's gaze was firmly on the American, whose eyes seemed almost intimidating as he spoke. Nevertheless, the pause he took after his last sentence was enough to show the tension that prevailed inside him. Bell's eyes flickered briefly to the side before his eyes caught his audience again.
Takagi swallowed, listening to Kudo's words while he was asking the same question again and again.
"What are you doing?"
XXX
"Because on January 13th, 1994, said organization made a mistake and left a witness behind. Their mistake was the supposed murder of the high school detective Kudo Shinichi."
'No…'
Agent Black's beard twitched. He'd given up asking Tracy what she'd been thinking. Since he was surrounded by other agents, that seemed better anyway. His office was crowded by now. The old agent felt like the whole FBI department of New York had gathered in his stuffy little office and was now staring at his computer screen. When one of his men told him about the Japanese live stream, he'd left no stone untouched to stop the broadcast. He put his best guy's from IT on it, while he tried to stop the TV show with… other methods on his own.
But the only thing he'd achieved was the gathering of agents who'd heard that something about the syndicate's case was getting out of control.
Because that was happening right now.
In those few minutes, Kudo destroyed what they'd built up in the past years.
He ruined everything.
'Stop it!'
However, the forensic professor didn't do him the favor but continued to speak, calm and stern, like William Bell always did when he solved a case. His voice has long lost his tremble while he was talking about his own attempted murder.
XXX
"They caught him watching them making a deal with someone. Because of a previous murder, the risk to simply shoot him was too big, since it could have lured the police to the scene right away. So they used other means to get rid of the detective."
Listening to Bell's foreign voice talking about what had happened, and what could have happened to her son, was more than Yukiko could bear. No mother wanted to hear that her son barely escaped the jaws of death. No mother wanted to feel responsible for what she might have prevented if only she'd been there.
He'd never told them what happened, not from his point of view. They only knew because Agasa had told them.
At least Yukiko knew why now.
Even Yusaku swallowed beside her while he watched his son's "show".
'So that's your plan?'
Yusaku's dark blue eyes bore into his son's, observing how his gaze shook again, his expression far from the calm his voice suggested.
'That's why you ensured our safety…'
The author swallowed, watching his son's lips moving. While he wished he could stop him, another part of him admired Shinichi for his decision and courage.
'I wonder how long it took you to make this decision? How often you thought this through.' He gasped for breath and could feel his thoughts pressing heavily on his chest.
'How many times did you hope that it wouldn't come to this.'
The writer closed his eyes, provoking an afterimage of his son behind his lids, whose stubborn gaze had told him that he would do everything in his power so that he might never need to use this video.
In the end, it seemed that he had no other choice.
Even though Shinichi might believe that his decision would probably not affect him anymore. Yusaku closed his eyes, tried to ban the thought from his mind. But Bell's tale about the effect the poison should have had only created new fantasies. The kind of that the writer never would put on paper.
"They fed him a poison, developed by the organization, that was supposed to kill without leaving any traces. They disappeared and left the detective to die."
XXX
"Hey Kaito!"
The magician sighed, trying not to let his tone become too sharp.
"What?" But she didn't seem to notice his tension.
"Come over here, I think you should see that."
He rolled his eyes, poking the food in the frying pan in annoyance. It was usual by now that he was responsible for making dinner. At least this way, he could be sure that Aoko wouldn't try to serve him f-f -the disgusting thing straight from hell. Who would have guessed that the lady would like this compromise that much.
Today was one of those days where he immensely regretted this deal. Fine, Aoko's cravings that were jumping from curry to sweet rice balls, back to spaghetti might be caused by her hormones, or rather her pregnancy, but nevertheless…
Today it drove him crazy.
He'd been cooking for hours now, started three different dishes, but the lady liked none of it since she now favored smoked tofu and some soup. Well… she would get that. Kaito grumbled, and women always complained that they were the only ones who suffered during pregnancy.
'Don't make me laugh…'
The tofu in his pan slowly gained color, and he turned it around before he finally answered his wife.
"If you don't suddenly feel a desire for briquette, you'd know that I can't get away from the stove right now."
"Fine, whatever you say. I just thought you'd be interested that this detective guy you've been speaking about lately is talking on TV, Bakaito!"
Even before she'd pronounced her husband's nickname, he appeared in the doorframe of their living room, the sizzling plan in his hand while his turquoise-blue eyes saw how William Bell swallowed and continued in a rough voice.
"The poison, however… had another effect."
"Do you think what he's talking about is true?" But when Aoko turned around, she knew that she wouldn't get an answer. Her magician's poker face was completely washed off his lips. His complexion had grown pale while he followed Bell's scientific explanation.
"The poison caused apoptosis - like planned. But his cells only self-destructed to a certain point. Nonetheless, the high schooler was no more."
Kaito swallowed; he could feel goosebumps on his skin while his mind tried to decide if what the detective was doing now finally crossed the line between courage and stupidity.
He knew what was about to follow.
'Damn it, Kudo…'
The magician closed his eyes and listened to Bell's voice.
XXX
"His cells died until there remained just a certain number of them. A number that matched the shape and age of a seven-year-old primary schooler."
Kobayashi Sumiko just finished correcting her third graders' work and sat down in the living room with a wine in hand as a reward before she switched to the news. She'd somewhat enjoyed the fact that her husband, Shiratori-keiji, was on duty today so she could rule over the house all by herself.
By now, the primary school teacher wondered if she was actually watching the news or some old science fiction scenes from her nightmares. She wished her husband to be by her side, telling her not to worry before he simply kissed the tension from her muscles.
She could hardly believe what the stranger on the TV was talking about, but while he continued with his story, a nasty foreboding feeling crept under her skin. But even memories from long ago, from a kid with too big glasses, weren't able to prepare her for William Bell's next words.
The teacher covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head, denying the truth, while Bell's words caused the world she knew to collapse.
"Kudo Shinichi became Edogawa Conan."
XXX
He gritted his teeth, ignoring the agonized squeak of his cigarette filter while corrosive bile crawled up his throat. Just yesterday, he'd watched the detective convulsing in agony under the chemist's new research with a cold smile on his face. Kudo's pained moans had flown through his veins like hot black tar, finally suffocating the anger over his failure then years ago in a hoarse scream.
He was theirs.
The detective was at their mercy and couldn't do anything about it.
At least he'd thought so.
Who could have known that this scrum had been a step ahead of them.
His grey eyes burned holes into the screen while Vodka asked him what all this meant.
"He survived, hiding himself as a primary school student while he secretly continued to work against them. Then another encounter with the organization a few years ago turned his life upside down again. He had no choice but to seek the protection of the FBI, who were able to offer him a new identity a few years later.
The identity of William Bell."
The blond killer bit his teeth, heard his jaw cracking beneath the pressure, the tip of his cigarette glowing a furious red.
Kudo was about to destroy himself, but he dragged them along into the abyss.
That's what it meant.
XXX
A hoarse curse came from the throat of the head of the university, causing his cigar in the corner of his mouth to rock back and forth so fast that a few flakes of grey ash found their way to the cold ground.
'It can't be…'
The American didn't care about the ash burning a hole into his carpet, but stared at the screen of his monitor, unable to believe what he was seeing. He didn't know whether it was foreboding or dumb luck that he came across the Japanese live news during his research on Kudo Shinichi. And right now, he didn't care for sure. Even if he struggled to understand the language, he understood enough to know what his employee was doing.
He could see Bell swallowing, taking off his glasses, and putting them aside with a heavy sigh.
"The day when Kudo Shinichi was given the poison was about eight years ago, as you can see on the date of the New York Times behind me."
The heartbeat of the old detective stopped for a second, as he watched how his employee, his friend?, put a hand beneath his collar. He saw how Bell's fingers twitched briefly when they found what they'd been searching for.
Maximilian York felt how the breath in his chest trembled when William Bell slowly detached his face. Nausea rose to his throat as the face he'd known for years vanished and became nothing but a lifeless mask that was staring at him with empty eyes.
He was telling the truth.
The young face beneath the mask and wig was no stranger to him, not anymore. He'd been reading a lot about Kudo Shinichi Kudo for the last days and hours, almost believing he knew the high school student himself… but Kudo should be twenty-seven now, not seventeen.
His professor's blue eyes stared at him from a face far too young.
The lies and the game of hide-and-seek were over now.
York swallowed, only now felt that a lump had formed in his throat.
William Bell and Edogawa Conan didn't exist.
The young man he'd hired, with whom he'd solved numerous cases, was none other than Kudo Shinichi.
Kudo Shinichi, who was ten years younger than he should have been, because of a poison from this mysterious syndicate.
A cold shower swept past the experienced detective.
'Impossible…'
An organization, working in the dark.
A poison that was able to rejuvenate people.
A child that wasn't one.
And a lie… that finally ended in this incredible truth.
XXX
The high schooler kept on talking, while the world remained silent.
"However, the FBI still struggled to put an end to the organization's work."
He didn't know how he did it, but along with "William Bell's" face, his voice had also disappeared, leaving the one of Kudo Shinichi behind that nearly seemed uncertain compared to the gentle voice of the professor. The eyes of chief superintendent Odagiri fell back to the date of the New York Times. If what Kudo said was true, it was perhaps due to his voice break he'd just gone through.
'Gone through again…'
The chief of the crime division put his fingers together. He felt the tension in his muscles grow while he continued to watch the video. There had been only a few encounters with Kudo Shinichi, even less with Edogawa Conan, yet he struggled to maintain to doubt the truth of his words, even though he should.
He saw how a desperate smile finally spread on the detective's lips as he buried his fingers in his dark hair.
"I know, all of this sounds crazy. I probably wouldn't believe it myself."
He swallowed, but the tense silence was suddenly interrupted by the woman's voice again.
"You told me something about proof, Shinichi? How about that?"
The detective blinked, his gaze briefly slipping from the camera before he nodded, grateful.
"Yes, of course. If this video goes on air and you're demanding proof of my story, I would ask the Tokyo police to offer it. Edogawa Conan, as well as Kudo Shinichi, have been involved in several cases. I'm sure the evidence room holds a few pieces with fingerprints on them. I think a comparison of these different-sized prints should be proof enough."
Odagiri's lips narrowed under his slowly graying beard. His hand searched the phone by his side while he never turned his gaze from the monitor.
"Satoshi-san, connect me to Megure-keishi, please. Thank you."
XXX
"I can't believe he did this!"
The FBI agents' upset voice thundered through the thin walls of her hotel room. Her partner, however, didn't care about her high blood pressure. His attention was fixed on the footage Kudo had taken a few years ago with Tracy's help.
"This video is intended as a proof to the police and the public, in order to show the existence and involvement of the organization in numerous crimes. I've provided a list with further information, as well as a note of supposed members along with this footage."
With these few lines, he ruined decades of work, and yet the agent could not prevent a narrow smile crawling to his lips. Acknowledging Kudo's work, finally.
'So that's your plan. Kudo… to lure the rats from the woodwork, to sink the whole ship with them.'
The voice of the high schooler grew tense; nothing was left of the former uncertainty. His gaze was focused on the viewers to gain their attention, whether they wanted or not.
"They have members everywhere, every social class, every institution. They undermined the police as well as politics. Each of your employees, bosses, or partners could be a part of this syndicate."
XXX
Shinichi's words spilled over them like cold water. No one in the room had said a word. No one had moved or tried to clean the mess of shards and amber-colored tea to Ran's feet. His voice condensed the room, laying on their shoulders and chests like a heavy burden.
"It's time to rip the invisible cloak of ignorance from them, to bring the organization into the light of a new investigation."
The high schooler took a long breath, his shoulders sagged a little after he'd reached the end of the official part of his "speech". There was no relief to be seen in his features. On the contrary, his tone suddenly seemed dull, almost tired from his lengthy monologue.
"I only hope that this will give you the poof you might need."
His eyes fell to Bell's empty face beside him on the narrow desk. For a moment, his blue eyes searched the empty ones of his alter ego.
Yusaku swallowed. He could see that Shinichi was struggling, apparently considering to leave it be, before he decided against it. The voice of his son nearly broke, and Yusaku could feel how his throat closed up while his wife's shaking hand searched for his own, afraid to lose her footing in this world altogether.
Shinichi's words were no longer directed to the world or the public; what they heard now was intended for the people in this room.
For her.
"I- it was never my intention to deceive the public, to lie to the people close to me, or to hurt them…"
He sighed, turning his gaze away from the camera as he spoke.
"I thought I'd be able to protect them from the truth, from the organization…"
Hattori felt how his throat went dry. The lump that was lodged there had reached the size of a rock that didn't allow any of his beloved curses to cross his lips. So he just could watch in silence how a bitter smile spread on the lips of his friend, before he shook his head, seemingly amused by his own foolishness.
Even though no one understood his joke.
"But either way…"
Shinichi sighed, directing his gaze back to the camera one last time, his words directed at his family, friends… to her.
"When you see this video, it's probably the last proof I can give you against the organization, the last thing… I can do."
He smiled softly, closing his eyes for a minute to make a decision before he had enough strength to face them again.
His apologetic gaze only made her panic grow more than his words ever could. It felt like he was looking at her, only her. Ran didn't know what she wanted to hear, wasn't sure she understood what he was saying since her mind was as numb as her body. She just knew that she wanted him to stop because she knew whatever came next would break her.
Her heart was racing while Ran watched his lips moving, speaking because he thought he might never get the opportunity again because he knew that this might be his last chance.
He was saying goodbye…
"I'm sorry."
His eyes, however, told her more than his words, more than she was ready to accept or to comprehend right now. She felt how her knees grew weak beneath her. She couldn't believe what he'd just done…
'No…'
His image disappeared from the screen, the TV newscaster started an upset monologue, but her ears were deaf to his words. Around them, silence seemed to be the only thing that existed, broken by the sound of his name that echoed in the empty corridors of her mind.
'Shinichi.'
She didn't feel her trembling or how her socks slowly soaked with the cold remains of the tea on the floor, while her lips formed his name, again and again.
Only a warm hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality.
"Ran…"
Tracy's blurred outlines slowly became clear. Ran could feel the eyes of everyone else on her skin, saw the frown on Heiji's face and the tears in Kazuha's eyes along with the pale faces of the professor and Shinichi's parents. Yet she still wasn't able to turn her gaze away from the American. She had to try twice before she managed to form an intelligent sentence.
"Why… why did he do that?"
Ran's voice was little more than a whisper, and yet the FBI agent couldn't break their eye contact. She took her by the shoulder, keeping her upright before she led her to the chair beside the sofa. Only then, the chemist allowed herself to widen the distance between them again, seeking the answer of Ran's questions on the floor before she could muster enough courage to look her in the eye again.
Tracy swallowed, she was aware of the guilt that now lay on her shoulder, yet it was only the eyes of his girlfriend that threatened to tear her apart.
'What have you done, Shinichi? What have we- what have I done?'
Even before the chemist could finally open her lips to answer Ran's question, Heiji started to speak, as he slowly rose from his place on the sofa.
"He initiated the self-destruction mechanism."
Heiji swallowed, just noticed how rough his own voice was, but still forced himself to continue, even though he couldn't look Ran or anyone else in the eyes.
"With this footage, Kudo set the ball running, it might even be enough ta bring them down."
'But do ya really think that's the only… the last solution, Kudo?'
Well… it was his last chance.
The detective shook the thought from himself, felt how his tongue became heavier with every second.
"He's destroying them from tha inside out."
"What?"
Ran's voice quivered and forced Heiji to look up. The complexion on the young teacher's face was pale, her otherwise strong person broke beneath the new information. Perhaps not because of the fact that the whole world will soon get to know about Conan, but rather because she seemed to understand why he let it come so far in the first place. Heiji swallowed; it felt like Ran could see right through him, and he wondered what the explosion Kudo put into gear truly was about to destroy.
Ran's eyes never left his own, demanding more from him, an explanation to what Kudo had done, but while his numb lips weren't able to move, his father drew the attention to himself.
"The organization is simply too big and way too widely ramified. One can compare the construction of such an institution with that of a pyramid. The higher one gets, the more important the person, the more power and information they hold. The lower stones don't know about their mainstay position. They have contact with the stone beneath and above them as well as their equally "insignificant" neighbor, not more. They don't know how many stones are resting on their shoulders, don't know their shape or function. Some of them might even not know the shape of their building, nor what purpose it serves. However, if you take these lower stones away, the pyramid slowly crumbles down."
Yusaku's voice seemed hollow. He was still sitting on the couch, holding Yukiko's hand in his own. His monologue had become more silent in the end, and he drove a hand over his face, taking his glasses down only to resemble his son even more. He held the black frame in his hands, observing the light's reflection on the glass as he continued to speak with a sigh.
"The trick is to make each and every person that might have been in contact with the organization insecure, or at least skeptical to the syndicate. Maybe even so far that they turn to the police to save their own neck."
Heiji nodded slowly, burying his hands in his pockets as he finished Yusaku's analysis.
"The police, tha CIA and tha FBI have tha opportunity ta work from tha outside ta tha inside, in order ta uncover the international relations of these guys and blow the whole thing up." Joy about this well-minded plan, however, was nowhere to be found in his features, his green eyes still avoided Ran's.
"B-But Shinichi, he-"
Tracy's unsteady voice interrupted her before Ran could finish her sentence.
"He gave us a chance to find him." The agent swallowed, suddenly felt Stuart's hand in her own, and it gave her the strength to look Ran in the eyes.
"If we're fast enough, if we'll manage to get the right information in time… we'll be able to find him."
'Before it's too late.' But her last sentence was swallowed by her heartbeat.
A shrill ring tore through the oppressive silence, drawing the attention to Heiji, who took the call of his mobile with a dark face.
"Hattori." Ran saw him swallow, his eyes briefly flickered to Kazuha, before he nodded to confirm his answer.
"I'm on my way." He put the phone down with a heavy sigh, looking at it for a second before the voice of his wife caused him to flinch.
"Heiji?"
Kazuha got up from the couch as well, taking a few steps towards him with their little son in her arms, who'd actually managed to fall asleep despite the excitement. Heiji met her anxiousness with a smile, tenderly stroking Haikuro's hair.
"I have ta go, Kazuha. Kudo gave us this chance, and we have to act. It's now or never.."
Just when the young mother wanted to argue, he pressed a kiss on her lips, smiled once more, and turned away from his family. He only stopped beside Ran for a second before he finally left the room.
"I'm going ta find him, promise." His voice was barely loud enough for her to hear.
Ran swallowed, goosebumps crawled over her skin, her eyes followed the officer who disappeared from the room without another word. For the first time, she could feel the small shards of glass in her knees that formed a fine speckled pattern on her tights.
They had to find him.
But the hopeful desire of her heart was disturbed by the bitter voice of her mind, which overshadowed her mantra, raising doubt where hope should be.
Shinichi had placed the bomb, knowing what the detonation would cause. He knew that it was his only chance to end this war.
But he also knew what it would do to him.
The explosion would take his life.
His face belonged to the public now, and his life to the organization.
Edogawa Conan and William Bell had ceased to exist.
Left behind were the remains of Kudo Shinichi, the former high schooler in a body that was ten years too young for him; that actually didn't belong to him.
What was left was what Bell had been supposed to hide, what Conan and Shinichi never wanted to be. A victim of the organization - of the APTX 4869.
'Shinichi…'
Slowlycomingbackfrombehindthecurtain
Uhm- Hello?
I hope you're still with me, after this chapter, told you I'm going to drop a bomb didn´t I?
Well- I hope you liked it, as well as Kaito's little cameo appearance. I tried to show different reactions to Shinichi's story.
A big thank you to Tobina for her great beta work, she's improving the story all the time!
Ah anyway, I am looking forward to read your comment's even though I'm a little scared as well. I would love to hear your thoughts!
Till next time!
(The next chapter is a monster so it might take a little longer)
Stay safe!
~ Shelling
