Chapter 36 – How You Remind Me

Note: Chapter Title from Nickelback's song 'How You Remind Me'

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Now that that's out of the way, let's begin…

Last time,

"I can't speak to that, all I can say is that, while I may not know what it is, I do know that your parents would only have stayed away from you if they had real and strong reason to believe that was your best chance."

"That's a nice thought," Harry says, real sadness in his eyes, "But I don't know how to believe it." Then he shakes himself off, "Regarding Ginny, I have an idea."

Now,

Severus looks at his sleeping daughter, so peaceful in sleep, yet she carries so much while awake. Severus wishes so much was not on her, the memories of her twin, the loss of her friend, growing up with two parents as mentally fucked as he and Remus admittedly are. Yet Benni thrives in school and in life, strong like Remus was as a child, strong like Severus has never been. And all he can do is hope she's never beaten down like the rest of them have been, he swears once again to do everything he can to make the world safer for her. With that thought in mind, he leaves her room and goes into the cellar of the Fortress where the other Reapers await.

"Are we sure this will work?" Pansy asks in a rare show of nerves.

"Inimicus would not have ordered it if he weren't sure," Blaise replies as he leans against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed, a serious expression on his face.

"Yes, but how is he so sure?"

"Because Amans said it would work."

Pansy looks at Draco, "And you are certain it will work?"

Draco sighs, rubbing at his forehead, "The spell was created by Rowena Ravenclaw herself."

"Yes, at this point, that's more reason not to trust it." The others look at her in confusion. She sighs, "Harry and I gave you the barebones summary of the memory Helena showed us, you know what she and Godric did, but you cannot understand how cold she was without seeing it for yourself. It would be just like her to make a powerful spell that works for as much as it gains her needed information. But the effects it could have on the seer? I really don't think she cared."

"It would seem we have little choice, Pansy," Severus tells her gently, "Hogwarts is in danger, and in my vision there may be the means to save it."

Pansy bites her lip for a moment before she nods, looking over to where Draco and Hermione are working on the ritual. She nods again, "Okay, let's do it."

"So what's with all the blood?" George asks as he looks at the two vials.

"Blood of the innocent and blood of the guilty. Don't know whose it is and I was so not asking for an explanation," Draco replies, the others snicker slightly at Harry's constant antics that they know better than to question.

"Didn't you need the blood of the tainted or something?" Ron asks him.

Ginny walks forward, "Ah, this is what he was talking about when he said he needed my blood. Apparently because of the incident with the diary my soul has been 'touched by evil'."

"Makes sense," Blaise comments earning a glare from Ginny. Draco takes a needle and extracts a small amount of Ginny's blood, putting it in a third vial.

"How do you know how to do that?" Pansy asks him.

Draco shakes his head, "Father needed help looking after Mother towards the end," He answers quietly. The room turns solemn but Draco ignores it, moving back to the workspace. "Okay so, owl heart, Centaur urine, Werewolf fur, blood of innocent, blood of guilty, blood of tainted, 3 Joberknoll feathers, stewed mandrake, powdered sage, and stem of a dead snowdrop," Draco recites as he adds them all and mixes it all together, the mixture gradually turning to a paste.

"And now for the gross part," Hermione says.

"This wasn't it?" George asks, looking grossed out.

"Uncle Sev, if you wouldn't mind taking a seat," Hermione requests, ignoring George entirely. "We have to put this on your eyelids and on the palm of the guider's hand. I'm thinking Pansy because she will remember every detail, eidetic memory and all."

Pansy nods, walking over to sit in the chair beside Severus' and allowing the paste to be put on her palm, though she screws her nose up at it.

"Right, then put your hand over Uncle Sev's third-eye," Draco instructs after Severus has closed his eyes and Draco has applied the paste.

"By which he means forehead," Hermione mutters.

Ron rolls his eyes, "Yes, we get it, you don't like divination."

Hermione huffs but otherwise ignores him, "And now you just have to chant this until the vision begins," She explains, handing Pansy a piece of paper.

Pansy looks at it and nods, handing it back. "All right, ready, Sev?"

Severus nods slightly without dislodging Pany's hand, "Ready."

"Revocare volumus, revocare volumus," Pansy chants a few times before she gasps slightly as she's pulled into the vision. "Wow," She states breathlessly, prompting Severus to open his eyes.

He sees the battle from the vision he had tried so hard to forget. Once more, the courtyard is in shambles. Once more, he sees the Dark Mark on many arms. Once more, he sees Harry running, and he sees him kill someone without a moment of thought or hesitation.

"Holy fuck me," Pansy gasps, looking around with tears in her eyes. "We weren't made for this."

Severus nods solemnly, "Nobody is."

"How did this happen? How did things get this far?"

"I really don't know."

"We have to stop this from happening," Pansy tells him as the vision repeats from the beginning.

"I've never stopped a vision from coming true before. Changed slightly, yes, but not stopped."

"There's a first time for everything," Pansy tells him, "Now come on, walk me through."

Severus nods walking forward, "In there is where future Remus died, over there is where Harry kills someone. There's trolls and students, McGonagall and Ben-" Severus cuts himself off, staring at the twelve-year-old. She has long hair, looking far more obviously feminine, but he would know his child anywhere. "Benni didn't exist the last time. I had no hope of knowing she was mine," He admits quietly, looking around in renewed horror. He shakes his head, "This can't happen, it can't."

"We need more, some kind of sign of what lead to this," Pansy tells him, shaking off that same horror of seeing Little Benni in the middle of such a horrid battlefield. Because that's what it is, not a school anymore or a safe place, but a place of death and destruction, and it hurts to see her home so broken. She can't imagine what it was like for Severus to have suddenly seen this as a teenager with no preparation or anything.

"Voldemort lead to this, let's just kill him," Severus suggests. Pansy sighs, opening her mouth to talk before Severus cuts her off. "Yes, I know, it's probably more complicated than that."

"Oh it definitely is, there's that whole heir thing to think about." Pansy frowns, seeming concerned. "That…" She trails off, thinking for a moment. Severus watches her warily but gives her a moment to gather her thoughts. Finally, she continues, "The memory of Helena's that Harry and I were shown…Rowena said that she and Godric had binded his connection with the castle as much as possible, and that they had to hope his heir was not so powerful as he. I don't know what that connection was like for Godric before the binding, but if this is Dumbledore with his connection to Hogwarts binded?" Pansy shakes her head, "When we make our move against him, we need to move carefully."

Severus nods, opening his mouth to speak when they hear a voice in their heads.

"You have fought valiantly, but in vain. I do not wish this. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a terrible waste. I therefore command my forces to retreat. In their absence, dispose of your dead with dignity. Harry Potter, I now speak directly to you. On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you, rather than face me yourself. There is no greater dishonour. Join me in the Forbidden Forest, and confront your fate. If you do not do this, I shall kill every last man, woman and child who tries to conceal you from me."

"What the hell was that?" Pansy asks Severus who looks like he's going to throw up.

"I know why this happened, why they are here." Pansy looks at him in confusion, he looks back in anger and fear, "He came for Harry. All of Tom is lost under Voldemort. He hasn't come to get him. He's come to kill him."

Pansy looks around, "All of this, it's all so that he can kill Harry?" Her gaze hardens. "You were right. We kill him before it gets to this point. It's our only option."

"It won't be so easy," Severus warns her, remembering the horcruxes Harry had destroyed, the one Dumbledore has found, and the fact that they have no idea how many others there could be.

"We have to find a way."

They come out of the vision and fill the others in.

"Well, that wasn't helpful," Ron comments. Severus nods his agreement.

"How are we supposed to know what else he turned into a horcrux?" Pansy asks.

"And how many we should be looking for," Hermione adds, looking frustrated.

Blaise looks at Ginny, seeing her deep in thought. "You have any ideas, Weaslette?"

Ginny frowns, looking up at them and shaking her head. "No," She replies simply.

"Then I suggest we all clean up this mess and go to bed, we can't do anymore tonight," Severus tells them, seeming just as frustrated as everyone else.

Blaise grabs his enchanted parchment as the others start cleaning up any trace of their activities. He writes down everything they've learned and everything that was talked about through this, addressing it to Harry.

Maybe you should have let the curse hit him after all

He adds, even knowing the statement probably won't be appreciated.

Gather all the information you can find on Horcruxes, tell Neville to put it with his research. I want all of it.

Is the reply Blaise gets, sidestepping his comment entirely. Privately, Blaise thinks that's probably for the best and he should count himself lucky for it.

"Anything new?" Ron asks him when he puts the paper away.

Blaise nods, "He wants all the info we have on Horcruxes sent to Longbottom." Everyone looks confused by that, Blaise shrugs, "I'm not sure that this is a case of we shouldn't ask about it, so much as is anyone really that curious that they'll bother to find out when we have fifty million other things going on right now, none of which seems to be controlled?"

"…you have a good point," Ginny admits as they put away the last of the supplies.

"I'll get everything to him tomorrow," Severus says, getting a nod from Blaise before they all head off to their various rooms and gladly collapse into their beds.


Harry wakes up at 3am, a burning sensation coming from his pyjama pocket. He pulls out his enchanted paper, finding a hastily written message from Ginny.

7

He made 7 horcruxes

Harry frowns at that, remembering what Severus had said about horcruxes and quickly does the math. The diadem and the diary mean two are already destroyed. He mentioned that he thinks Dumbledore has one, that's a third. Which means there are four remaining, and they've no clue what they could be.

Then a more pressing concern occurs to him.

Are you certain?

Dead certain.

I remember.

Harry's frown deepens, "That can't mean anything good." He sighs, regretting the decision he made to stay here with Voldemort. He's not sure what else he could have done, and now is not the time to second guess himself. He has a plan, a plan now fully formulated. But there's something in his way, or rather someone. For a moment, Harry's resolve falters, unsure if, after everything, he still has it in him to do this. To removes his Father from the path, he'll have to take him out of the equation entirely. At what point does he become like Dumbledore, at what point are his 'accepted sacrifices' too many? Bizzarely, it's Sirius he wishes he could talk to about this, remembering the conversation they once had about good people and Death Eaters. But Sirius isn't here, and Harry doesn't know what to do. Can he sacrifice his father, knowing there's a chance they could find a way to save him? But that could take time, time they don't have. The window is closing. In Severus' vision he is seventeen. That gives them less than a year, far less, to finish this business with Dumbledore and deal with Voldemort. Harry sighs, dropping his head into his hands. "What do I do?" He asks out loud, no help is given. No help ever is. Once more, Harry thinks of the phrase that started all of this, thinking that perhaps he's never felt it to be more true.

The world just truly is not kind.

But now he doubts whether he can make it better.


Remus sits, reading a book on his bed, an Order meeting going on in the dining room downstairs. Every time it happens, he feels no conflict, only an intense relief that he doesn't have to be involved in it. Not yet, anyway.

"You know, until she started wearing the fancier clothes of a princess, I never quite realised how much our Jamie looks like me." Remus looks up in shock, seeing Bellatrix sitting on the edge of the bed in front of him. "That blood adoption thing, it really is something," she continues, "I'm glad she knows the truth about that, and that she took it well. I must admit, I was concerned she'd no longer consider me her mother. I didn't birth her, and hardly had a hand in raising her. All I did was change nappies." Bellatrix smiles sadly, "But I loved her, and I am forever grateful you've raised a daughter who believes that that is enough."

Remus looks down at himself and his book, "I guess I fell asleep," He says in confusion, feeling the pages of the book, the texture unchanged in the dream.

"You aren't sleeping, Remus," Bellatrix tells him.

"Then how are you here? The withdrawal is over, I shouldn't be hallucinating anymore," Remus tells her sternly.

She smiles at him, "I'm here because you still need me. This thing, with Inimicus, it's falling apart. All because, whether he'll admit it or not, Harry doesn't actually want to make a move against his Father." Bellatrix moves closer to him and takes his hand.

He stares down in shock, he feels no solid touch like he does in dreams, only a warmth like he felt from her presence in the cell when Lestrange was torturing him. "What are you?"

Bellatrix sighs, "Remy, this plan, this cause, it must succeed. Harry made a promise to me, and I know he's trying hard to uphold it, but he can't. The Tom that's mixed up with Voldemort, he cannot be saved. You must convince Harry of this. He has a plan, he just won't enact it. But it won't work forever, he needs to make his move."

"Promise? What promise? When did you two even talk?" Remus asks incredulously before shaking his head, getting up and backing away from her. "You aren't real, you can't know anything I don't know if you're a figment of my mind." Then he looks up in shock, "Except you do. You knew Trixie didn't remember anything from the time she was under the Moral Reversal Spell. You knew that Voldemort knew about Ella, but I didn't. And Benni…in the cell, you called her my child and my kid, never once have you referred to her as a boy. You knew about the whole gender thing, how could you have known?"

Trixie smiles at him, "You think I wouldn't watch over her just because she isn't mine? She means something to you, Remy. That means she means something to me, too."

"Y-You…You are her, a ghost, you're Trixie," Remus finally stutters out.

She smiles gently at him but says nothing more about it. "Help our nephew. He needs family, real family, more than ever. You've no idea the burden on his shoulders. I didn't mean to put it there, none of it. And some came from himself, some is situational and some just bad luck. But it's all there. The weight of the wizarding world, and the weight of his family. You have to convince him to let Tom go. Voldemort must be stopped, he's the only thing standing between Inimicus and victory." Remus stares at her, tears in his eyes as he nods. She smiles, stepping forward towards him. "For the record, Remus. I think you and Sirius are cute together. And if I could kiss Severus to show my approval, I would."

Remus laughs at that, smiling wider than he has in years. "Thank you."

She nods, fading away with a smile until he stands alone in his room again. He looks out the window thinking over everything that just happened, then he nods to himself. Then he frowns, walking downstairs and luckily getting there as the Order meeting breaks up.

"Severus," He calls. Severus looks over to him, an eyebrow raised in query. "I forgot to yell at you."

"What am I getting yelled at for?"

"That fucking maze, what the hell," Remus replies.

Severus snickers, turning to an actual laugh as he notices the other Order members remembering their own anger with that maze and turning glares on him. "In my defence, Bella helped make it."

"Trixie knew shit about Muggle fairytales, that stupid carpet is all on you," Mary says sternly, though she looks mildly amused.

"Alright, I planned it out, but she made most of it work."

"If it weren't for her, we might never have even made it through," Moody comments, earning a confused look from Sev.

"There was a song, she left clues, it was insane, you knew her, basic Bella stuff," Sirius explains causing Severus to snicker again.

"'Kay but did you win against the Ninjas?" He asks curiously.

"Didn't get to fight them, Voldemort turned up," Tonks says, still glaring at him. "Do you have any idea how many panic attacks in multiple people here that you set off?"

Severus cringes, "Look, no one was meant to be able to get through. It was made to keep wizards out, not anyone with familiarity of muggle fairytales. No one had ever gotten that far into it."

"You really are a sadistic bastard, that's all I can say," Remus tells him.

"Sorry?" He tries, earning many head shakes. "Oh come on, I never expected you lot to have to go through it. I didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to go in. I didn't account for total desperation, that's on me, I'll admit."

Sirius steps forward, "You owe us cookies. The good ones. The ones Mrs Evans used to make," He tells him. Sirius turns to look at the Order, "Trust me, that'll be worth it."

Severus huffs out a laugh, giving a nod of acquiescence. "I think some cookies can be arranged." Sirius nods, then turns and stalks off dramatically earning many eyerolls.

Remus smiles, shaking his head, "I honestly don't know how I've survived so long when these are the people I surround myself with, Severus, Sirius, Trixie, James, honestly."

Severus chuckles, "Hey, I'm actively friends with three different people who attacked me so."

Remus laughs at that, a genuine laugh that some people in this room have never even heard before. "Right, I'm gonna go call Jamie so Benni can talk to her. Try not to induce nightmares in anyone, yeah?"

"So long as you don't set anything on fire."

"Fuck off," Remus shoots back as he moves back up the stairs.

"What the fuck just happened?" Bill asks when Remus is no longer visible.

Severus smiles slightly, "What happened is James Potter being right, one last time." The others look at him in confusion. "There's no such thing as one horror too many when it comes to the people you love, not to Re. And I'm not sure I agree with that, I think that frame of mind has caused Remus a lot of pain over the years. But Alastor, you warned them that Re might not come back from what happened." Severus shrugs, thinking of the progress Remus has slowly but surely been making over the last few months. "I think he just did."


Notes

Eyyyy, good news, next chapter you get to actually find out what Harry's plan is and everything stops being in utter shambles.

Sorry that scenes have been a little disjointed for like a chapter or two. Since no one but Harry (and not even him for a while when he had to reshape the plan around new circumstances) really knew what was going on it was quite hard to make them flow nicely because they weren't exactly connected, if that makes any sense.