Thanks for the reviews as always guys, and a huge thank you to all you silent readers too who are still on this journey. This is my first story and I'm really enjoying seeing the various reactions and improving myself as I go.

A Santana POV chapter for you as the girls enjoy their first week in Hawaii, the second week will be in Brittany's :) Then we get into all that good stuff as they slide into life back at home. I know lots of you are excited to see the dynamic with Mila, so stay tuned!

Enjoy, and as always, would love to hear your thoughts! It's weird writing fluff for them after so much angst haha.


The first day in paradise was spent lounging in a cabana by the pool, curled up on the bed together, with Brittany reading a book and myself thumbing through various magazines. We enjoyed lazy kisses and tropical cocktails, taking full advantage of the happy hour on offer. Tired from all of the sun and alcohol, I was glad we came to the easy decision to order room service for our first night, rather than go out for dinner. As we sat out on the lanai in the warm evening air, I felt a wave of contentment take over me and settle in my bones. My salmon and Japanese yam had been delicious, and I couldn't help but smile as I watched Brittany tucking into her poke bowl, her nose slightly pinkened as I admired the flush of freckles adorning her face, caused by the Hawaiian rays. She was so effortlessly beautiful, and I couldn't believe that I was the one sitting here with her.

I reached out and brushed my hand tentatively against hers, the fact I could openly do that now being so new to me, smiling even wider when she interlocked fingers with my own.

"This really has been the most perfect day Brit" I sighed.

"Oh, undoubtedly so" Brittany nodded "It's like being in heaven. And we have a whole two weeks of this."

She crinkled her nose in an adorable fashion, and I felt my breath hitch. My emotions had been haywire all day, having to be around Brittany in a bikini, married with the fact that I had waited so long to have her. But I also didn't want to rush things, so I leaned forward to give Brittany a light kiss on the head and stood up in an effort to calm myself down.

"I'm just going to go and take a quick shower B, I'm so sticky from all of the sunscreen. Not to mention a little sweaty." I told her, blushing at my choice of words as I watched Brittany's eyes travel down my "sticky and sweaty" body.

"Okay honey, I'll clear these plates away and have someone come and collect them and pour us a glass of wine" said Brittany, her hair blowing in the breeze, soft and frizzing at the ends from when she had washed it earlier, choosing to shower as soon as we got back to the room whilst I had ordered dinner for us.

When I got into my own shower, I made sure it was a cold one, because I damn sure needed it and not only for just the heat. I knew that tonight was the first proper night alone in a bed with Brittany since everything, and I didn't know what the implications were behind that. Communication clearly hasn't been our strong point in the past, but first-time sex with someone isn't something you address even if you're as good at talking as Oprah. Talking about it completely kills the mood, it just happens, but not knowing when that was going to be and how it was going to go down was driving me crazy.

I've wanted Brit for so long. In every sense. Emotionally, physically, romantically and sexually, but I was hyper aware of the latter being a big step for us since it was uncharted territory. Was it going to be awkward at all? There was also the fact that it was Brittany's first time with a girl, and I should know from experience, how daunting that could be. I wanted it to be special for her, and for her to enjoy it. My relationship with Dani may not have been great or right for me, but I won't deny the effort she put in to make my first time with a girl memorable. I wanted that for Brittany ten-fold. But I also didn't want to make a scene that made her feel like it had to happen at a certain time. If I went all out one night with rose-petals on the bed and dim candlelight, maybe she'd feel pressured to do it before she actually wanted to. I wanted it to be natural and organic. Then there was the fact I'd assumedly have to take the lead, and that felt like a lot of pressure. What if Brittany thought I sucked at it? What if she hated it so much, she decided being with a woman wasn't for her and went back to men again?

I splashed my face with water as I became aware of how irrational my thoughts were heading. I knew I was overthinking it way too much.

"For god sake Santana, you're turning 30 this year! Get a grip!" I hissed to myself.

As I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in quite possibly the softest towel I'd ever felt, ignoring the water pooling at my feet as I stared into the mirror to give myself one of my infamous silent pep talks.

No. Sex with Brittany was going to be amazing, because it's the one person I ever truly loved. To finally be able to connect with her on such a deep, intimate level and make her feel as good as she deserved to feel. would be beautiful regardless of how and when it unfolded. If I could remember that, everything else would be fine and fall into place. I just needed to go in there tonight with no expectations, and when it's meant to happen it will happen, and it will be right. Just like the way our love unfolded at the time it was meant to.

But as I walked out of the bathroom after hastily throwing on my night clothes, my mouth involuntarily tugging upwards into a soft smile at the sight before me, I realised I needn't have worried about any of that tonight. Brittany was fast asleep on top of the bed, the TV blaring out and a barely touched glass of wine clasped tightly in her hand. Clearly the travelling from the night before and the long day in the sun had caught up with her, and she was out like a light by 9pm. I quietly moved over to the bed and gently prised the wine out of her hand, setting it on the table, before turning off the lights and the TV. Then I scooted onto the bed and pulled the light throw over us, making sure Brittany was covered because I knew from countless sleepovers that despite her body always feeling like a radiator and despite us being in a hot state, she always got chilly in the night. Suddenly I felt ready for sleep as well, and as I wrapped my arms around Brittany's torso, I couldn't resist placing the softest of kisses behind her ear as I felt her melt into me. Brittany had said earlier that being in Hawaii was like being in heaven, but this was heaven to me. Just me and her, lying on the bed. I knew despite my worries that ultimately the sex was going to be more than great, but what was even greater was being so emotionally and physically close to her right now in this moment, with her in my arms; exactly where she belonged.


First to sleep, first to wake up seemed to be the way, when I woke up to an excitable Brittany telling me to come out to the lanai because breakfast was ready, and she had a whole day planned out for us. I took her hand and used my free hand to rub the sleep from my eyes, but all grogginess seemed to wilt away when the hot morning air hit me, and I saw the breakfast neatly presented on the table. Pastries, bacon, yoghurt, fresh fruit, 3 different types of eggs. There was pretty much everything, you name it.

"I didn't know what you wanted so I kinda ordered everything" Brittany smiled coyly.

"How did you manage to sneak the waiter in and get all this set out without waking me?" I laughed, half in shock, half amazement.

"Come on babe. It's you. You sleep through anything on a morning" Brittany laughed, before leading me over to the table, our hands still entwined. As we sat down, our hands outstretched over the table, I dropped a lingering kiss on her fingers to show my appreciation. A gesture that send the blood rushing straight to her cheeks, which in turn sent my insides into a puddle. Oh god. We were going to be that couple weren't we?

"So, tell me these plans that you have for us today?" I raised my eyebrows after a while, still picking at the food even though by now I was insanely full.

Brittany raised her eyebrows in return and simply shook her head with a smile.

"Ah-ah-ah, you know me better than to know I never ruin a surprise"

"No fair" I pouted, crossing my arms in faux disappointment.

"Maybe not" said Brittany "But if you're going to pout like that every time, I do something unfair, I might just have to do it more often."

"Oh really? Why's that?" I challenged, a smirk across my face at the playful flirting.

"Because you" she said grabbing my face and placing a firm kiss on my lips " just..look..so..damn..cute..like..that"

And as she enunciated every word with a kiss that grew softer each time, I found myself agreeing that she needed to be "unfair" and cause me to pout more often.


The surprise Brittany had planned unfolded pretty quickly when she led us outside the resort to a waiting '57 Porsche Speedster. I turned to her in confusion to find her flicking the keys around her pinkie with a smile on her face.

"It's ours for the morning babe" she said, gesturing to the silver vintage vehicle.

I squealed in excitement and placed a noisy kiss on Brittany's cheek.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I told her excitedly, annunciating each thank you with a kiss, mustering up all my appreciation for her and all the little things she always does to make me smile. She knew my love for cars, so of course she had gone and pulled something like this out of the bag.

"I took you to prom in that Lexus, but I didn't actually get to go to the prom with you. Consider this my second chance at taking you out in a fancy car, only this time I don't have to part ways with you when we reach our destination" she smiled softly, blue eyes sparkling, brightly in the sun as I felt my own eyes water at her words.

And as she swung open the car door to let me in, the way she had done at prom all those years ago, it truly was a pinch me moment.

We cruised around Maui for 3 hours, getting a feel for the island, enjoying the feel of the wind flowing through our hair. Brit being Brit, had planned out the most scenic route and as she pulled up to one of the viewing points, I couldn't help myself.

"Babe the view is just awesome…"

Brittany let out a content sigh and nodded her head in agreement.

"Isn't it? The ocean looks so blue from up here"

"It does. But I wasn't talking about that view" I tugged Brit's arm lightly so she would turn to face me, finding myself getting lost in a different kind of ocean blue when her eyes met mine "I was talking about this one" I said softly, leaning into kiss Brittany.

Clearly the cheesy compliment must have worked because she kissed me back so desperately, and I felt her tugging on my bottom lip with her teeth as my hands caressed soft blonde hair. I was grateful the viewing point was deserted, but I wouldn't have cared if there was a crowd watching us right in that moment. I don't do PDA, but there was nothing pulling me away from that kiss prematurely.

When we finally came up for air, Brittany breathlessly lay her forehead against mine.

"You are so cheesy Santana Lopez" she said, dabbing her finger lightly against my nose.

"But you love it" I smirked, and I could tell by Brittany's smile that she agreed.

This may not have been our honeymoon, but it was certainly the honeymoon period into our newfound love for each other.

The surprises didn't stop there either, and when we got to the beach just after lunchtime after (much to my dismay) handing the car back, Brittany had organised a lunchtime picnic for us to eat on the sand. We tucked into sandwiches, salads and fresh fruit, before heading to the crystal lagoons to snorkel, me enjoying every minute of Brittany's excitement at seeing baby sea turtles.

I was lying on the beach, my head gently nuzzling against Brittany's shoulder, and I could just about feel myself nodding off when my phone vibrated against me. Seeing it was Quinn, I answered straight away. I had already tried to call her earlier to speak to Mila after school, but she hadn't picked up. I knew not to worry though, Mila was in safe hands, and I know she was just busy having heaps of fun with Quinn, who would call back when she could.

"Hey Q, how are you?" I smiled into the phone.

"Hey San, look sorry I didn't answer your call earlier, I called you back as soon as I had chance to, I've kinda been caught up with Mila today…"

"Is everything okay?" I frowned, sensing the nerves in her voice.

"It's fine, I don't want you to panic because everything is under control, but Meels got into a fight at school today"

I frowned harder. Mila never got into trouble at school.

"A fight!? What kind of fight? Like an argument?"

"No…a physical fight"

"WHAT!? Is she okay? Is she hurt?" I yelled frantically, 50 questions spilling out at once, as a startled Brittany looked at me in concern and reached out to stroke my hand.

"She's fine Santana, it's more her ego that's bruised than anything else. I think from what I can gather...Mila did most of the damage" Quinn trailed off hesitantly.

"Who the hell was she fighting with!?"

"…Lily"

"What!? But Lily is her best friend. And Mila? Mila doesn't get into fights. Not my little Moo, she knows better than that. I've always told her to stand up for herself, but never to fight with her fists." I shook my head "How bad is Lily hurt?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds, she bust her lip, but they suspended Mila from school for the rest of the week"

"Oh Q, I'm so sorry. This has completely put your week in jeopardy having to have her with you all week. I can call my mom and have her come get her right away if you…"

"No, no Santana don't be silly. It's completely fine. I really don't need to be at work, I told you, I got it covered. And I think your little lady might need some TLC right now so I'm glad she can stay home with me"

"TLC? A firm telling off more like!" I scoffed "Where is she? Put her on the phone."

I tossed a grateful smile to Brittany who was still gently soothing my hand and looking at me through concerned filled eyes, trying to grasp what had happened.

"She's just in the bath right now. I ran her a bubble bath and let her use all my Bath and Body Works products. She's really upset Santana, and I can't get her to open up. When I was called into the teacher's office there was only 15 minutes before school ended but we sat there for an hour going through everything. She wouldn't say what had happened and neither would Lily. She just…wouldn't stop crying, so I took her for ice-cream, and I hoped that maybe she'd talk when it was just us, but she wouldn't. She knows you'll be mad at her and she kept on begging me not to tell you, and I told her I couldn't do that, but that I'd try get you to agree to speak to her tomorrow instead when you've both calmed down a bit".

I let out a sigh, I knew Quinn was right. I was angry and confused by my daughter's out of character behaviour right now, and I knew I'd end up losing it and making things worse. At least tomorrow I would be calmer and be able to speak to her properly, find out the root of all this.

"She's your baby and you know what's best for her, so if you want me to get her, I will. But I just think you might get more out of her when she's had a good night's sleep to stew on things, and when you're not reeling from the initial reaction".

"Okay, okay I know you're right. But I'm calling as soon as I wake up tomorrow and you can tell her from me that she better get her ass on the phone and explain what's gone on here"

"I'll let her know that you'll be calling tomorrow and that she needs to speak to you about it all"

"And you can also give her a kiss from me and tell her that I love her for always" I added, my voice softening. As mad as I was with her, she was still my baby girl who I loved so much. My almost 11 years old baby girl.

"Of course. I was going to do that anyway" said Quinn "And Santana? She really is sorry you know. I'm sure today is just a huge misunderstanding. It happens sometimes. Don't beat yourself up about it okay?"

"Okay" I sighed. Quinn really did know me too well. "Thanks so much Q, for being there for her, and I'm sorry once again that you've had to deal with this".

"Hey don't mention it! That's what godmothers are for. Look I'll get going, see if she's done with her bath and check she's okay. I'll text you about how she is and then speak to you tomorrow".

I said my goodbyes to Quinn and when I was finished, a string of Spanish curse words fell out of my mouth, as I processed the information. Brittany just stared at me patiently, waiting for me to stop my ranting and tell her what had happened, her thumb still tenderly caressing my hand.

"Moo got in a fight with Lily. She bust her lip, and she's been suspended from school for the week" I sighed, before my voice cracked and my anger turned to upset "that's just so not like her Brit"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't cry! Come here" Brittany whispered pulling me firmly into her and shushing me.

I knew that she knew the insecurities that were going through my head right now. All the worries that somewhere along the line I'd screwed up my kid. It might have been an overreaction to get so upset over something like this, but this just wasn't my girl, and the change in behaviour worried me. She never acted out, never got violent, and she never ever fought with Lily. She loved Lily the way I had innocently and platonically loved Brittany at that age. I never would have hurt Brittany, and I was shocked that Mila had turned physical with her own Brittany.

"I just feel bad that I'm at the other side of the country and I wasn't there. What if something's going on with her that's making her act like this? What if she's like me, and she's internalising her own secret pain and lashing out on others because she's too afraid to talk?"

"San she's 10. And she's the happiest little girl I know. They probably had a fight over something really silly like what game to play at recess, I don't think one mistake means you need to analyse everything about her. She probably just lost her cool" Brittany reasoned softly, rocking me back and forth as she stroked the hair down the sides of my face.

"But she knows not to lose her cool like that. You know how I have literally drilled this into her, because I don't want her turning out like me and ever getting into a physical fight. I want her to learn from my mistakes"

"You make it sound like you got into fights all the time. Babe, you got into a few harmless scrapes, it doesn't make you a bad person. Most of those times you were just sticking up for me, like the time you slapped Finn Hudson for calling me an idiot"

I couldn't stop the slight upturn of the right-hand corner of my mouth.

"Well…he deserved that. I don't regret any of those times sticking up for you but, all those fights with other girls over boys I clearly didn't fancy, all because I couldn't admit I was a lesbian, and I was trying to stake a claim on them to prove I was someone I wasn't. Or the way I'd attack someone if they made me feel small or threatened or not good enough. It wasn't a healthy way of dealing with my own insecurities inside. For a hot minute, I was mad at the world, and I never want Mila being that way. I don't want her turning out like me".

"But honey, if she turned out like you, don't you see she'd be the most beautiful person? You have the biggest heart, and I just wish you could see yourself from my eyes to know how truly special you are. So, you had a bit of a high school temper? Fine. But guess what? You learned from it. You became a better person because of it, and you grew and you taught yourself how to deal with things better." Brittany paused for a second, allowing her words to sink in before continuing "Stop beating yourself up over the person you were in high school. You were a teenager, and a pretty awesome teenager at that. Everyone has their flaws San, it's the way we use them to better ourselves that counts, and you have, and that's clear in the way you parent Moo. You don't give yourself credit for the Santana Lopez that I knew in high school. The one who was always there to defend and encourage me when everyone else said I was stupid, the one who was fiercely loyal and would do anything to help her friends, the one who faked an ankle injury to give Alicia Hewitt a chance to be top of the pyramid for once because you knew how much it meant to her".

"I forgot about that…" I admitted.

"Well lucky for you, you had your own personal cheerleader keeping tabs on everything you did. And believe me, the good by far outweighed the bad. You're such a good person Santana, always have been. And Mila is a good kid. Maybe she was just sticking up for someone like you did for me. But either way, it's not going to be anything sinister. She'll have her reasons".

"Well I guess we'll find out those reasons tomorrow" I sighed, relaxing into Brittany's embrace, always grateful of her comfort during times like this, where I'd let my insecurities get the better of me. About myself, about my parenting skills, about everything.


Brittany had one final surprise planned, but she offered to cancel it so we could go back to the room instead, my mood clearly deflated. I insisted we went ahead as planned though, since Brittany had gone to all this effort, and I was genuinely looking forward to it. There was no point moping around in the room, there was nothing I could do from here, and I just wanted to enjoy this time with Brit and take my mind off it. So, I pushed away all my doubts and worries as Brit and I embarked on our sunset cruise. It was perfect, and for those two-and-a-half hours on the boat, I was able to distract my mind and truly enjoy myself. But when we retreated back to the room, already full from the complimentary food on the boat so making a joint decision not to go for dinner, I found myself in a funk again.

"You're overthinking it again aren't you?" Brittany asked, the worry in her eyes telling me she already knew the answer. I nodded and she opened her arms wide "Come here my sweet girl"

I fell willingly into them, as Brittany laid out a plan of action for me.

"I'm going to run you a nice bubble bath and you can make use of the big tub we haven't yet touched. Then I'm going to pour us some wine, and we're just going to cuddle and if you want to talk, we can, or if you just want to watch trashy TV and take your mind off things, we can do that too. Sound good?"

I nodded again. Brittany always knew the tips and tricks to get me to settle. Much like my daughter, a bath always helped me feel calm, followed by wine and then just Brittany's presence. I sat on the bed and mulled over everything, while Brittany set about running the bath, and I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear her calling me until she was in front of me with her hands delicately caressing the sides of my face.

"Did you hear me honey? Bath's ready" she smiled sweetly, and I allowed myself to be pulled up by her and led into the bathroom. Brit always did run the best bubble baths.

A tension swilled around us and hung thick in the air, the kind of tension that had never been there before, as we both stood awkwardly and looked at the tub. I could sense there was something on the tip of Brittany's tongue.

"Can I…I mean do you want me to…" she cleared her throat "Can I get in with you?" she asked quietly.

My heart skipped a beat. Brittany wanted to take a bath with me, and in my vulnerable state, this felt more intimate than sex. It was a big move for us from platonic to something more, and I now knew why there'd been a slight tension hanging in the air. I'd seen Brittany naked so many times before, and she had me, but this was different. Still, there was nothing I wanted more than to be relaxing in that bath with Brittany.

"I'd love that" I let out a shy smile, and Brittany nodded. She quickly discarded her clothes, the way she had done so in front of me many times before, but now things obviously felt different. I stood there and fumbled with my hands like a nervous child, unsure what to do with them as I watched the most perfect form in front of me.

Sensing my hesitance, Brittany, in all her naked glory, moved over and placed her hands on my shirt and I granted her the silent permission she asked for to remove it. She undressed me, and although it sent sensations up and down my whole body, there was nothing sexual about it. It was more nurturing, an act of care, but still so very intimate.

Then Brittany climbed into the tub and sat back, pulling me in with her and into her body, as she wrapped her arms around my stomach from behind and placed a soft kiss on my head. I relaxed into her and let out a relaxed sigh, and we just sat like that together in silence for a while, her hands softly soothing me as I enjoyed the feel of her bare skin flush against mine for the first time. Her breasts pressed into my back, and I had never felt so close to her before. So, at peace yet so conflicted by my thoughts at the same time. Then as if on cue, Brittany began to speak.

"You, Santana Lopez, are the best mama I have ever ever met. And I know what's going on in that head of yours, and that you're beating yourself up and looking for answers and signs that Mila might not be growing into the person you're trying to shape her to be. But let me tell you something about that sweet child. She is the most caring, empathetic, intuitive and artistic little girl, and these are all traits that she got from you. Do you remember what she said to me when we told her about me losing Little Poppy? She said "Don't worry Aunty Brit-Brit, it's okay to be sad. You can be my mommy if you want". San, she was five, and she knew all the right words to say in such a difficult and confusing situation. And do you know who made her like that?"

I said nothing, too overcome with emotion to speak, simply waiting for Brittany to continue.

"You." Brittany said softly "You did. I love my Moo for being Mila Grace Lopez, but I also love her for all the Santana Diana Lopez I see inside of her too. All those things that I love in you so much, I get to see again in her, in a miniature version. A version that reminds me of our youth. So please stop overthinking this honey. I know that you worry so much about you wanting to give her up at first and her somehow sensing that and then having her young. About her not having a father figure at first and uprooting her life when he finally did show up, and the stuff with Dani recently. You're thinking that this one fight is because she's from "a broken home", but she's not from a broken home San, not really. Because she's always had you, the best mommy in the world, and she's always had me and Quinn and your family and she's always known that she is so ridiculously loved. You made this great little girl into the amazing person she is all on your own, but you'll always have us there to help guide her. She's going to be just fine"

Just like that, the tears were flowing, and I let out the release I didn't even know I needed. As always, Brittany had managed to piece together my unspoken thoughts and shatter every single doubt in one.

"I've got you, bub." she soothed, pulling me impossibly closer.

She was right, she really did have me. She understood me better than I even understood myself. The only person who could straighten me out in five minutes when I tied myself up in knots. My genius.


Brittany's words had instantly relaxed me, but what made me feel even better was finally getting the chance to speak to Mila myself the next morning as promised. As Quinn suspected, all my anger had wilted away, and was replaced with concern for my child. I gently asked her why she had lashed out at her best friend, while also reminding her what she already knew, that it was never okay to hit someone.

I couldn't get as much out of her as I'd hoped, as she was still tearful, but I at least could see how apologetic she was of her behaviour, and her willingness to admit she was wrong. I had asked Quinn to take Mila to Lily's parents later in the day so she could apologise, and Mila had put up no fight towards this. I was hoping it was something of nothing, a silly argument gone wrong and a misjudged outburst from my child who, genetically, was bound to be hot-headed what with me as a mother and Puck as a father. Puck of course knew nothing of this, but he never got involved in the disciplining of our child, he was still more a casual babysitter than a dad to her. I guessed I would probably mention it to him when I saw him, but for now he didn't need to know. I wasn't even sure he'd have the best advice for our child on this, being how pro-violence he himself was at school.

When the call had ended, aware I wasn't going to get much further, I decided to push this to the side for now and speak to her about it again when I got home. It would always be easier in person, but for now I just wanted to enjoy the rest of my time with Brittany in Hawaii, and not let my (at times) poisonous mind cast a shadow on that.

We spent the morning exploring around Maui some more, and we got back to our room that afternoon to drop our bags off after doing some shopping, Brittany had arranged yet another surprise. This time, she had arranged for our suite to be transformed into an intimate spa setting for two hours and we enjoyed side-by-side Lomi Lomi massages and a Coconut Milk Bath infused with Hawaiian Honey. It was an experience that I didn't even know the resort offered, but Brittany had sure done her research, and I couldn't thank her enough for always thinking of me the way she did. I adored her spontaneity, and her plan to ease any lingering stress definitely worked.

When the spa experience was over, I told Brittany to get dressed up, because I was taking her out tonight. No excuses. After all she had done for me over the past couple of days, it was the very least I could do.

When she came out of the bathroom fully ready wearing her tight black dress, her blonde hair swept to the side, with red lipstick adorning her lips; my eyes went wide.

"Brittany…you look so beautiful" I gushed, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world right now.

"Have you looked in the mirror at yourself?" Brittany smiled, coming over to take my hands and bringing them to her lips to place a light kiss on them "Gorgeous".

We enjoyed a three-course meal under the stars, before heading to the bar which offered 180-degree views of the Pacific Ocean. We drank cocktails until closing, and I felt dizzy from both the alcohol, and the sheer happiness of being here with Brit. As intoxicating as these flavoured margaritas were, nothing was intoxicating as her beauty and her love that I felt so grateful to have.

Whilst I was past tipsy, Brittany was a step ahead and the final cocktail pushed her into sloppy drunk mode. I hated looking after drunk people, but with Brit I didn't mind at all, she was actually adorably endearing when she was like this and I liked taking care of her.

"Come on babe, let's get you back to the room" I laughed, hoisting her up from the chair, much to her reluctance.

"Noooo, San I don't wanna go yet. We were having so much fun, just one more drink" she pleaded, pout fully in place as she swayed along to the music.

"Babe the bar's closed, but I promise we can play music in the room for a while before we sleep. I'm not too sure you need any more to drink though".

"Will you dance with me?" she wiggled her eyebrows, and I laughed in response.

"Of course, B. Anything for you. Now come on"

Getting an excitable drunk Brittany back to the room in one piece was easier said than done. I carefully supported her weight against me and manoeuvred her through the resort, as Brittany pointed out every little feature, as if this was her first time seeing everything even though it was now Wednesday evening and we had been here since Monday morning. Suddenly, she stopped in front of one of the water features.

"You okay Brit?" I frowned.

"You said you'd dance with me" she smiled, grabbing my wrists softly and tugging me in towards her.

"When we're back at the room babe, I will, promise"

"No, I want you to dance with me here" she pouted, releasing my wrists to move them on to my waist, and I swallowed as they wandered dangerously low.

"But there's no music…" I laughed nervously.

"We don't need it. This is all I need. Just you, and me" she smiled simply.

"Okay" I agreed apprehensively, as I wrapped my arms around her back, the two of us swaying together in silence as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Despite my initial embarrassment, I found myself really enjoying the moment, and I closed my eyes and relaxed against Brittany for a second, until I felt her stumble.

"Okay, that's enough, we need to get you home" I laughed, gripping onto her so she wouldn't fall again, and leading the reluctant blonde back to our suite.

Brittany went from sloppy drunk to sleepy drunk in 0.3 seconds and as soon as we got in the room she had collapsed on the bed.

"Too tired for music" she yawned, as she stretched her arms.

"That's fine babe, we can get some sleep, but at least let's get you into your pj's, I don't think you're going to be comfy sleeping in that dress".

Brittany said nothing but discarded her dress with a sleepy smile, eyes half shut, collapsing back down in her underwear.

I swallowed thickly, knowing the effects of sleeping next to a half-naked Brittany would have on me.

"I'm just gonna remove your makeup Brits, because I know you'll kill me if you wake up in the morning with it still on. You'll feel so much better for it" I told her gently, and I moved forward to take all of her makeup away. She barely flinched, just rambled on in jibberish with her eyes shut, completely unaware of the effect she was having on me right now. She was utterly adorable.

When that was done, I went to remove my own makeup and change into my pj's, and when I climbed into the bed I assumed Brittany was by now in a deep sleep. I couldn't resist softly stroking her hair as I watched her, and just as I was about to close my eyes and join her, I felt her lips pressed firmly against me.

She kissed me with force, hands wandering everywhere as she pulled me into her, and I found myself short of breath by the unexpected change. Brittany had gone from half-asleep to wide awake in an instant, and her roving hands were sending my insides wild. When I felt them wander up my top and caress the skin of my stomach, as she moved on top of me to attack my neck, I came back down to earth and reluctantly pulled away.

"Brittany…Brit…stop" I said gently, turning my head to the side, and Brittany did so immediately. I looked at her eyes, dark with desire, and tried to ignore the feeling of intense heat burning in the pit of my stomach.

"Did I do something wrong?" she swallowed, and I rushed to reassure her.

"No, no Brittany it's not that, I just…"

I was interrupted with a firm kiss, and when Brittany pulled back and stared at me deeply with lust filled eyes, it took everything in my power to resist her.

"I really, really want you Santana" she whispered.

"I really want you too Brit, of course I do. But we've both had a lot to drink, and I want this to be special. I want you to enjoy it and remember it and for us to take our time, not rush through it because we've had one too many cocktails". I told her softly, caressing the soft skin of her hands as I did so.

"I'm not that drunk though" Brittany pouted again, and I snorted.

"Oh babe, you so are" I laughed "But that's okay, you're on vacation and enjoying yourself. But I am definitely not going to take advantage of that, and I know you'll thank me in the morning when you realise we still have our first time ahead of us and it's not just a drunken thing you can barely remember. Okay?"

"Okay." Brittany sighed, as I gently pushed her to lie back on the bed.

"Now…let's get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow when you're a little less wasted, we can try this again" I joked, making light of the situation.

"Can we still cuddle?"

"Is that even a serious question Brittany Susan Pierce?" I raised an eyebrow before pulling her in close, nuzzling into her neck and placing a soft kiss on the back of her had. Looks like I was playing big spoon tonight "Of course, we can".


When the next day rolled around, now Brittany had made it clear she was ready, I wondered if tonight would be the night. I didn't want to put any pressure on it, and I told myself just to ride the wave and let it unfold naturally the way I intended. That night, I found myself making out in bed with a considerably less drunk Brittany. Things were definitely getting more heated and building to something, and I lost track of time of how long we laid there exploring each other, letting our hands linger over places they have never touched before. But our underwear stayed firmly attached to our bodies and we didn't cross the line on that Thursday night, and I was more than fine with that. It seemed like things were just taking their natural course, as I wanted, and each night we'd get a little bit braver.

My theory was proven on Friday night when after a hard day sunbathing by the pool, another intense make out session ensued. Things were getting more and more heated, and suddenly the room felt incredibly hot. I watched Brittany carefully for clues, wanting to go completely at her pace. We were simply in our underwear again, a new unwritten rule was seemingly in place that this was how we slept now, knowing that our make out sessions would cause pyjamas to come off quickly anyway, so there was no point even putting them on. A pang of arousal shot through me as Brittany let out an involuntary moan, her hair tangling in my hair as ours tongues danced together in a slow, sensual caress.

Taking the moan as a sign to continue, and wanting so desperately to explore more of her, I began kissing down Brittany's neck, admiring the way her breath hitched as she let out pants of pleasure that let me know what I was doing was working for her. I continued my trail of kisses down to Brittany's bra-clad chest, becoming increasingly aware of my own arousal, as I felt Brittany's hands travel over my own breasts from her position beneath me. I took off my bra, sensing this was what Brittany wanted but was struggling to communicate in her own nervousness. I knew that would come as we grew more comfortable. I silently asked her permission to remove her bra, which she granted, and after I did so I fell back on to the bed by her side, and we enjoyed the feeling of making out with our naked torso's pressed up against each other for a while.

When I felt the desperation prevalent in both of us hanging thick in the air, I moved back into my previous position of straddling Brittany and resumed my previous technique of kissing down her neck to her chest, enjoying the sensation of her bare breast against my lips this time. As I edged closer to her nipple, my hand trailing up her inner thigh, I heard Brittany's breathing growing more and more erratic, turning from breaths of pleasure to ones of panic instead. I withdrew my hand immediately and sat up to check on her.

"Babe, are you okay?"

"It's just…just a little too fast" Brittany let out, trying to catch her breath "I'm…i'm sorry San"

"Hey, don't apologise!" I exclaimed, moving off of her immediately "I'm so sorry, I got too carried away"

"No it's not you" Brittany shook her head "It's me just…being weird. You're not…mad are you?"

Suddenly my heart broke at the sight of Brittany looking so lost. How could she ever think I'd be mad at her for this. I got it completely. It was a big deal, and one that I'd worried about myself, even though I'd had more experience in this particular field.

"Mad? Of course not! Please don't worry about it Brit, we can take this as slow as you need to okay? Here." I said softly, before passing her the previously discarded bra. She accepted it gratefully and I clipped my own back on, wanting Brittany to feel fully comfortable again "Why don't we get our cuddle on and get some sleep?"

"I'd like that very much" Brittany smiled softly, as she buried her head into me.

It was definitely harder to get to sleep that night, because I was more than a little riled up, but I loved Brittany and my priority was her being ready. I'd wait as long as it took.

I could sense all day the next day, that there was something weighing on Brittany's mind. She tried her best to not let it show, and we really enjoyed our day together, but I knew my Brit, and I knew when something was troubling her. That night as we lay in bed, we shared some sweet kisses but nothing intense, and I studied her face to try and read her.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked softly.

"Nothing, just lying here and enjoying being with you" she said casually, but I raised my eyebrows at her to let her know it wasn't going to wash.

"Brit come on. I know that something has been on your mind all day. Please open up to me?" I pressed "Is it about last night? Because honestly babe, we really don't need to do that for a long, long time. I can wait. I waited so long already and…"

"No, it's not that I don't want to San. Of course, I do. I've wanted to for years. I want to share every part of me and connect with you in a way that we never have before. And I am so unbelievably attracted to you, you wouldn't believe how much I want you. But I guess I'm just…scared".

"Scared?" I questioned softly, urging her to continue.

"Ah-ha" she nodded, finding it hard to meet my eyes "I just, well I just love you so much, and I've never done this before. I'm scared I'm going to be terrible at it and not know what I'm doing. That I'm not going to be enough for you and I'll find it hard to please you. It's stupid I know…"

"Hey, stop calling yourself stupid. You know I don't like that" I softly reprimanded her, taking her hand in both of mine and caressing it with my thumbs "First of all, just looking at you pleases me, so trust me, we're not going to have any problems there. Second of all, it's all part of a learning experience, and the beauty of it is that we get to learn about each other together. Even if you'd been with women before, this is still new for both of us, everybody likes different things. I know it can be nerve wracking, but it can also be pretty exciting exploring all of that with someone new, especially when you love that person as much as I love you and you love me. Thirdly, there's no rush or pressure whatsoever, like I told you before, we can take this as slow as you like, and I want this to build naturally. And lastly your concerns are completely valid. This is a big step for us, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out about this for a hot minute too".

"You?" Brittany frowned "But you were in a relationship with a girl for years. You've got lots of lady sex experience"

"Yes but, not with the person I'm so deeply in love with. Obviously, that adds on the pressure more, because I so badly want you to enjoy it and feel safe and loved. But you know what I've realised. This is me and you. We're meant for each other on every level, and it took us so long to find each other romantically but now we're here and it's awesome. When the time comes for us to take it to the next level and have sex, I know it will feel right and all of our doubts are going to melt away".

"I just don't want to disappoint you" she looked down, and I released one of my hands from hers to gently push her chin up, so she was looking at me again.

"You could never disappoint me. It's impossible" I placed a soft peck on her lips to seal my words and was relieved when she let out a light smile.

"Is it weird that we're even discussing this? I mean…most people don't discuss their first time with each other before they even get around to it. I feel like it's a bit of a mood killer discussing all our anxieties" Brittany laughed "I mean usually you just get down to it and it just happens. I hate the fact I freaked out like I did and made it weird".

"No. I' really glad we talked about this Brit. You wanna know why?" I asked, and Brittany nodded gently "Because we spent so long not talking about our feelings and bottling things up that should have been said and look at where that got us. I want to be able to share everything with you, and I want you to do the same with me. We gotta get better at this whole communicating thing because then we can make sure we're on the same page and work together. From now on, I want you to talk about any doubt and insecurity you have, and I'll do the same for you".

I reached forward to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Brittany's ear before I continued.

"I'm really glad you told me this tonight, so thank you, it's been noted. Whenever you're ready to take things to the next level, I'm right here waiting, and we do this together okay? And I don't care if people think this is the cringiest conversation in the world because I know that communicating openly like this is going to be great for us going forward".

Instead of answering Brittany sighed contentedly, and I knew my words had gotten through to her.

"I love you" I whispered softly, as if to turn over this new page of open communication.

"I love you" she replied, and I took her into my arms and closed my eyes as I inhaled that sweet Brittany scent, both of us feeling a weight off our chest with her having discussed her doubts and me knowing she was no longer hiding things she wanted to say.