Illusion is Reality
Chapter 115
-What's your point-
The shooting range was quiet when they made their way back to it. Well, the building was soundproof so that wasn't anything odd. Wanda went in, and the workers told her that they were fully rented out for the day and to come back later.
"Oh, we're not here to shoot. My brother in law and his… uncle, came in earlier. I was wondering if they were done yet?" Wanda explained. The worker let out a soft, "Ah, ok." And went to go talk to someone. Wanda thanked him and went to go sit down to wait. Miz was holding Blue's hand, glancing around the place. She Saw Stan and that Stanford and did a quick review on what the issue had been. Oh. She sighed. Blue had been a lot of different people to that Stanford in a bunch of different dimensions? And that Stanford hadn't recognized Blue every time that he'd done it, even though he'd known Blue was trying to do that for him before. And NOW he got all upset about it? Because he realized that there WERE dimensions where he hadn't recognized him, when Blue was probably just trying to be his friend? Just like he'd said he'd wanted Blue to do for him in that Deal of theirs, until the end of time? Did that Stanford really think that Blue was only and ever awful and nothing else?
...well, whatever. Miz wasn't gonna let herself be upset by this. Also, seems like Stan's a teddy bear. Miz had to hide a grin at that. The only reason Carla hadn't told the world yet was because she thought Stan was only like that with her. If she knew he was just willing to cuddle with anyone who needs it...
"Whatever prank you're thinking of, don't." Wanda put a hand on her head, making Miz squeak. "Don't try to hide it, I can see your grin." Said grin became a pout. "Fiiiiine~"
"I do hope that other Ford is feeling better." Wanda glanced at the hallway behind the check in counter. He reminded her of Seb's brother during his paranoid phase.
There was a tentative knocking at the door, opening a tiny crack as the worker called out, "Excuse me sirs? Are you done in here? A woman named Wanda is here to pick you up?"
Stan glanced up, glad that they were in a spot that couldn't be seen from the door. "Ah, give us a few minutes. Or maybe more. Depends on how he's feelin'. Might ask them to go home without us for now."
The other Ford stirred a bit in his arms. It made Stan grin a little. He hadn't thought the guy might actually fall asleep on him, too.
He didn't settle back down, though. The other Ford slowly pushed himself away from him a little bit, still looking kinda exhausted, from the slump in his shoulders and the way he was rubbing at his right eye.
"...Stan?" the other Ford said, like he knew it was him, but also wasn't completely sure at the same time. "...What time is it?" The guy sounded almost half-asleep still.
Stan checked his watch and told him.
The other Ford nodded at him a few times, then winced when the thing he'd just said actually hit him. He just looked really tired, and maybe a little confused... up until he actually looked up at Stan again and the confusion jumped up several notches, along with a frown.
...and then the other Ford seemed to sort of do a nerd-bot brain reboot or something, remembering where he was and who he was with.
Stan watched as the other Ford kinda tensed up a little bit as he straightened back up in place, pulling away from him completely.
"...Apologies," the other Ford said again, a little bit muted. He looked away from Stan and rubbed a hand through the hair at the side of his head a few times, blinking and grimacing like he was trying to wake himself up again a lot better, without any coffee. ...But hey, the guy didn't look nearly as tense as he had before anymore, so yeah, progress right?
"I told you, 's not a problem." Stan shrugged. He checked that the older Ford really was ok to stabilize himself, and then slowly got up from the floor.
...Shit, other Ford got up more easily and quickly than he did. Guy practically bounced to his feet and offered him a hand up. And he was, what, sixty-something? Late fifties?
Stan wondered if he had to start working out again. He wanted to be that fit when he was his age. "So, ah, Wanda's here to pick us up. Are you ok for… for facing Blue?"
"No," other Ford admitted, looking away from him. "But I certainly can't avoid him forever. Putting this off any further would be…" He grimaced.
"...did he hurt you? In those times when you couldn't tell it was him? Like, ya trusted him because you didn't think he was Bill, and then he hurt you?"
"No," other Ford said quietly, hands held behind his back, pushing himself to stand rather tall, not looking at him as he did that, but Stan knew that stance - he wasn't fooled. He looked down. "But if I had recognized him, then he would have. That was the pattern," the older Ford told him quietly.
"If ya found out he was Bill?" Stan ran a hand through his hair. "Like some messed up hide and seek?"
"Every time I found out." He stopped for a moment. "Every time I recognized him, or his involvement, and confronted him on it, he dropped the mask. And then he-" The other Ford stopped talking and shivered in place.
"...Our Bill wasn't that sneaky…" Stan admitted. "He liked to wear our new friends in front of us, taunting us about how we tried to make a friend and how he was going to take them from us. Usually had to act fast to stop him from killing them."
"Bill did that sometimes, too," other Ford said so quietly that Stan almost didn't hear him. "But he-" Other Ford stopped talking, didn't elaborate on 'what he' did any further. "He may yet again still, if I can't find a way to…"
"Did Blue do that thing where he'd tie you up and make you watch him slowly kill his host?" Stan grimaced. "Our Bill was really big on the stabbing." He shivered. "He tortured Seb for several days, during Weirdmageddon. Because Seb refused to join him." Then, more quietly, "We almost lost 'im. Bill stuck a knife inside him, left it there, and we didn't know. Not until Bill was dead and then Seb started bleeding everywhere."
Other Ford seemed to be standing on eggshells now. He took a moment to swallow, before he began to speak, very carefully, still not looking at him.
"Bill never made me watch him slowly kill anyone," other Ford said slowly. "He isn't very big on… stabbing people with knives." He looked over at him briefly, for just a moment. "Bill told me about what happened with Seb. I'm… sorry to hear that the local Cipher was so..." He trailed off at the end, not attempting to put words to it.
"...I'd say you're lucky in that regard, but that doesn't really… this doesn't really count as luck, I guess." Stan grimaced. "Our Bill was… well, he liked killin' people. Destroyed a hospital and many other buildings during Weirdmageddon. There were… so many bodies we had ta bury after… after everything. No time to celebrate defeatin' him. It was rushing Seb to a hospital and gettin' together what doctors survived to help us, and funerals…"
Other Ford had looked about to say something, but then he just started staring at him for some reason.
"Defeating the local Cipher here didn't fix everything?" other Ford said, then stopped like something had just occurred to him. Or maybe like he'd just remembered something instead. He looked a little shocked though, which was weird.
"...No? The buildings came back. But the people in 'em? Not so much." Stan shook his head. "Why? Was the death count different in your world? Worse? Better?"
"...We didn't have to bury anyone after Weirdmageddon. Not to my knowledge," the other Ford said slowly. "You…" he swallowed hard. "People died?"
Stan regarded him for a long time. Then, he nodded. "Ah. Well. I guess I can see why Miz likes Blue, then." He rubbed his face. "She doesn't want to kill people either."
Ford stared at him for a moment, then shook himself.
"Because they wouldn't have those people to play with anymore, if they 'broke' them all permanently," Ford said slowly. "Of course."
"...maybe. But 'least they wouldn't be dead." Stan grumbled.
"There are far worse fates than dying," other Ford said, with a million-yard stare down and away from him.
"I'm sure. But being alive means we can still fight against that."
Other Ford let out a bark of a mirthless laugh. "You sound like Bill when you say that. 'Stay alive at all costs.'"
"Aren't you like that too? With the stayin' alive thing?" Stan pointed out.
But other Ford just looked away from him at that, and Stan suddenly got a really bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach.
"...it's not like that, for you?" Stan said slowly.
"I will find a way to kill Bill permanently," Ford repeated, still not looking at him.
"...would that stop demons from attacking your world? Would it keep you all safe? Or are you gonna have to kill all those outside demons too?" Stan asked. "Are you gonna have to kill every demon in existence?"
"What?" other Ford said, suddenly looking over at him. He looked surprised and confused, with the way he was frowning at him and his eyes going a little more narrow like that.
"Look." Stan rubbed his face. "From what I've heard from Blue rantin' about stuff and all the demon talk from Miz tryin' ta explain stuff, it sounds like your world has lots of demons. And the feeling I was getting from Blue, was that he doesn't want those other demons having their way with 'his' stuff, which is your dimension, I'm guessing. So once he's dead and gone, you'll have to take on all the other demons who're free to come in now that there's no bigger, badder demon, being all…" Stan waved his hand. "I could be wrong, I could be misunderstanding all this. But that was the gist of it?" he shrugged. "We don't have demons like that here. Even behind the portal, me an' Ford never met any besides Bill. And Miz, I guess. Our Bill's henchmaniacs demons were aliens that he corrupted to his side and gave powers to, we call 'em demons but they ain't demon-demons. And Miz's friends are just aliens she gave Immortality to, similar but different enough."
Other Ford was staring at him now, openly aghast.
"That's not-" He shook his head quickly, grimacing and mentally resituating himself to- "We don't get natural portals in our dimension," other Ford told him. "That's not a concern. No other demons are in our dimension currently, and the only way they'd be able to get there would be to-" Ford stopped, then winced as he shook his head again, slightly. "Bill himself has said that no other demons can get in because he-" He paused.
"...because he won't let 'em?" Stan raised an eyebrow.
"...He said that he locked them out," other Ford said slowly. He was thinking hard for a few moments, then turned his head back around to look back over at Stan quickly, eyes widening. "Are you actually positing that- that whatever protection Bill put in place might not be permanent, and that if we kill Bill for good, that those protections might no longer remain in place to keep-" Other Ford was starting to look really freaked out.
"Hell if I know anything about magic mumbo jumbo stuff." Stan shrugged. "But from what I've seen, certain stuff is permanent and other stuff… isn't. So I dunno what kinda one this Lock is, but if it's the second one, then you're gonna be fucked." Then Stan frowned at him. "Have you really never thought about this?"
Other Ford had a look of dawning horror on his face. ...Yeah, guess not.
"I…" He slowly managed to get better control over himself - that was kinda weird, this Ford almost had kind of a poker face he could put on when he wanted to. He bit his lip slightly, and did that old nervous tic thing with his hands and fingers. "...Was this… potential problem that obvious to you?" other Ford asked of him slowly.
"Ah, yeah? I mean, if Bill is a demon and he got into your world, and your place has more demons, then the idea exists that they might try to get in too? Seems pretty obvious to me."
Other Ford had a kind of strained look around his eyes as he stared off into the distance.
"...If it occurred to you so easily," other Ford said, sounding like he was doing that emotional disconnect thing just now, "Then it has almost certainly occurred to Stan." He swallowed. "And Stan has made it a point not to bring it up around me." And now other Ford was starting to look like he was pushing down on both terror and rage. "Because Bill has been listening in on us, and if that demon hadn't made such protections impermanent before, simply because he hadn't thought that doing so would give him that much more leverage…"
"...maybe?" Stan shrugged. "I don't know what that other Stan on your side's thinking. But if he's anything like me, he's worried about the safety of his family."
"He is worried about our safety; that's why he's been trying to talk Bill into keeping this mutual non-aggression agreement with him that the both of them are… are cooking up together." Other Ford's strained look got worse, as he tilted his chin down, and his eyes went a little unfocused. "And Stan has hinted at such a worry, of other demons coming to our dimension, before. The idea of Bill protecting all of us from… he's said he doesn't want Bill around other demons because he doesn't want them influencing Bill, and doesn't want Bill getting into fights with them that would lead then back to us later-" Other Ford had his fists clenched in front of him and he was beginning to shake again.
"Huh. Metaphors?" Stan scratched his nose. "Kinda? I guess he thought you'd pick up on what he was really saying, underneath the underneath."
"He isn't my twin," other Ford said kinda painfully, closing his eyes slowly like he was in pain. "There was no way that I would be able to pick up on that from him." He grimaced like he wanted to either scream in rage or cry. "And Bill laughingly warned us about communication issues between us. -Damn him," he ended fervently, glaring down at the concrete below his feet.
"...but he's still your family, ain't he? That other Stan?" Stan thought about it. Because, if this Ford was living with him, then, twin or not, he was… family. "I mean," he frowned a little with the way other Ford looked up at him next, "You still care about him, s'kinda obvious." He placed a hand on his chest, "And if that other Stan's anything like me, then he cares 'bout you too. I mean, I do." He scratched his cheek, looking away almost embarrassed to admit that. "You're kinda family too. Ma worries about you, we all do. We all want you to be safe and happy and- geez, look at me, talking about all this dumb mushy stuff. Don't tell anyone I said this!"
Other Ford's expression had slowly lifted into something a bit lighter as he'd talked, and his eyebrows had gone up a little too.
And when Stan was finished talking, other Ford told him, with a smile that spoke of an older and maybe softer, more dulled pain that he was now somewhat used to, "I'd say you sound like Stan just now, but I think you're a bit more open about it all than he is." He paused for a moment, then ducked his chin slightly and said almost tentatively, "...You softie."
"Hey!" Stan protested, blushing at the teasing. "I'll have you know I'm a badass space explorer! Nothin' soft here!" He patted his chest. He huffed and folded his arms.
"And a big old softie underneath it all," older Ford said next, with a teasing glint in his eyes and the ghost of a grin.
"Shhhh!" Stan looked around, as if afraid anyone would hear. "You're not tellin' anyone about this conversation!" He stomped his foot like a petulant child, which only made older Ford let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah, yeah whatever." Stan waved off the older Ford's wide teasing grin.
"But you said that I could hug you whenever I want," older Ford pointed out to him, still grinning.
"...fuck." Stan pouted. "Yeah, fine, I'm a man of my word." He huffed again.
Older Ford let out another ringing laugh again, and this time he actually sounded kinda… happy.
Then Stan's phone buzzed with a text. He pulled it out. From Wanda. "Eh, do you want a few more hugs before we head out? We're due time to meet up with everyone for lunch today." The way he said it had a very obvious invitation for older Ford to come with.
At the mention of leaving, Stan could tell when older Ford remembered Blue existed and was also outside waiting, when he saw the happiness slowly drain out of his face.
He watched as older Ford pulled in a breath and said, "Best not to keep them all waiting. Or left to two ravenous demons' devices." He pulled himself up firmly, with that Fordian set to his shoulders, and, heh, guy looked ready to take on the entire dimension again. Or a couple a' demons.
He started to look a bit tense again, but when Stan knocked a shoulder against his, other Ford seemed to settle his posture a bit into something more stable, less shooty, having been reminded of the fact that he was no longer alone. He had somebody at his back to help him out, kinda.
"We're going to a Thai restaurant, if you need to prepare yourself for that or anything." Stan told the other Ford with a grin as they walked. "And I've sent Shermie up ahead to the restaurant to get the tables booked. So, no more 'ruffians' trying to take our seats this time."
The older Ford let out a heavy, kinda exasperated sigh at this. "Bill may claim that responsibility and guilt falls on others," he seemed to note, as he pulled open the door. "But I have found that there is a general pattern, in that he goes out in public, and ostensibly ends up in an altercation of one sort or another rather quickly." He paused as he held the door open. "...When he is being ostentatiously himself," the other Ford added next, not sounding very happy at the idea of something in there. Maybe that 'I don't know every person he ever was' junk.
"Well, if we keep him distracted with the kids, things should be a little smoother. Or it won't but we'll take it as it comes." Stan shrugged. They returned their rifles at the guns and ammo counter and walked out together without incident. He waved at Wanda when he saw her. She was looking rather exasperated at something Miz was saying. And when Stan got closer he heard Miz chanting "Tentacles~tentacles~" over and over. Stan glanced up at Wanda and opened his mouth-
"Don't even ask." Wanda deadpanned.
-and closed his mouth. "Well, did you three have fun while waiting?"
"I'm hungry." Miz replied. Stan laughed. "Sure, you're always hungry." He ruffled her hair as he walked by to her protests. "You're gonna eat me outta house and home at this rate." He joked. Miz handed him an intricate, gemstone studded necklace. Stan stared, pocketed it, and continued walking. "Ok fine." Miz giggled. Wanda gave Stan a stern look. (So did Blue, though his was more unreadable.) "Stop getting gems and gold from my daughter. You're gonna teach her all the wrong things."
"Stop making things that will upset your energy balance that much and make you need to eat even more in a vicious cycle," was what Blue said to his little sister next, "Half-penalty," and then mussed up her hair a bit, "For paying with something in a way that makes things less stable for you, instead of paying in a better-worse way."
"But they're pretty." Miz tried to cover her head, to protect herself from said mussing (unsuccessfully, causing her to whine a bit until he'd finished and stopped, leaving his hand in place there). "I guess I could just make the jewelry by hand and have Stan be my manager for it."
"Better," Blue said. "Get the materials from elsewhere; don't make the materials yourself - remove the primary problem there. Yes?"
"We've almost got Miz's own little workshop set up." Wanda told him. "Sebastian has his office, with his textile supplies, and Miz has her own area in the house for her crafting." Wanda really did think Miz's work was amazing, even if the girl didn't seem to get it herself. Miz knew they were cute, but she didn't seem to understand that what she made were literally individually handmade custom jewelry, and were worth more than she thought they were.
"No explosions," Blue replied promptly. At his sister's look, he gave one back. "-You know what I mean." (He didn't want her doing the explode herself because of too much energy or tearing herself open by her bricks things that she'd written, and then told him about, before.)
"...I'm fine. I set up a spare vessel in my Nightmare Realm to store excess. It's a vessel built for the sole purpose of storage, so it holds more than my 'social' constructs." Miz gestured to herself. ("Good. As long as you don't have to depend on it being there, to rely upon for use - intake or outflow - without a backup option or twenty-seven.") Then she paused and glanced up at Blue. "Also, can you show me how to make it look like I've naturally aged? Like you are? I currently set this vessel to slowly shift into that older form you helped make for me, since I'm gonna be living here long term and need to 'age'. But I don't know how to make anything older looking than that."
"I can do that, yes," Blue noted. "But I don't just LOOK 'naturally-aged' - I DID age this body up quite a bit," he informed her. "This isn't just a perception filter, you know," he added. "Do you want the perception filter look-of-aging, or the actual aging younger-and-older in both directions?" he asked of her next, looking for clarification.
"...I guess the actual one would be easier. So I can better pretend to be human." Miz noted.
"The actual one is harder; it gives you the information to be able to do the only-filtered one to as many sensory shifts as you'd like," Blue corrected her (rather gently for a Bill Cipher, but pretty bluntly for pretty much anyone else). "Does this updated information change your decision?"
"Oh." Miz thought about it, and then turned to Wanda. "Which one do you think I should do?" she asked. Wanda patted her head. "Whichever you're more comfortable with."
"Seb is all about the 'growing up'," Blue noted rather darkly, eyeing her a bit at this apparent disconnect on the parental-to-his-little-sister front. (Not least of which because Seb was a 'brother' to his little sister, while Wanda was just a 'mom'.)
Miz thought about it harder. "Well, I should probably learn it with the harder one, then. So that I know how that works, if I ever need to do something like it again in the future."
"That would be the best-worst option," Blue agreed. "More information is always better! More choices!" He grinned.
The older Ford not-quite-bristled at that where he was walking, but Stan watched him pull in a deep breath and forcibly resettle himself again, as they continued on walking.
"How much further is this restaurant?" the older Ford asked of them next, sounding mostly calm.
"Down the block that way, and take a left. So… maybe 5 minutes of walking?" Stan shrugged. "Do you want us to go faster?"
"No," the older Ford said. "I'll simply meet you there."
And then he just about leapt forward, scooped up Blue in the same over one shoulder carry as they'd all (except for Miz) seen him use before in Stan's apartment, and then dashed off at a dead-out crazy fast sprint, not even a normal sort of run.
They barely heard Blue start to complain in protest before he'd made it down to and around that street corner down there.
"...He doesn't like Blue being around you," Stan noted dryly. Miz nodded. "Thinks he's a bad influence." At the look Stan gave her, Miz huffed. "I think I'm more of a bad influence on Blue to be honest." Which made both humans very confused, but Miz didn't elaborate further.
They made it to the restaurant, and Shermie and everyone else were already seated and ordering. Other Ford and Blue were there, too. He (unconsciously) sent a frowning glare Miz's way when she came in, but otherwise ignored her. Miz ignored him in kind, running over to the 'kids' table and claiming the seat beside Blue.
"...There has to be a better arrangement than this," Stan heard the other Ford mutter, frowning into his lap. "Beyond getting us back to our own dimensional set, that is," the guy said next, with an even deeper frown.
"Well we've already separated you two?" Shermie was saying.
"Yes, but the man-eater is still able to-" the other Ford stopped at the confused look that he got at that, and revised that to: "Having Bill around the younger children isn't a good idea, either. Even if Stan has supposedly 'cleared him for all babysitting duties'," he ended with something of an eye-roll.
"...Then do you want a third table?" Seb asked.
"That isn't-" other Ford huffed out a breath. "I suppose I'm simply frustrated that I can't think of a better solution to… to practically anything during my time here, is all."
"Well, you were kinda… pulled here suddenly," Sixer said sympathetically. "And you've had maybe three days at most to try and get your bearings."
"Yes, but I'm usually able to manage it in just one," the other Ford told him, sounding more than a little frustrated with himself. "Generally within hours at most, if I'm not suffering from the sweeping fatigue sometimes caused by portal travel, and not needing to sleep for several hours to shake that problem off."
"Well, this isn't a world like the ones behind the portal that you're used to." Sixer pointed out. "And there's no immediate attack from some large beast or being chased by bounty hunters to kick start the other decision making."
"What decision making? You'd just shoot them." Stan laughed, walking over to sit at the table. "That was your response to anything threatening."
"It's a generally overall appropriate response," other Ford said to Stan almost on auto-pilot, (to which Sixer smiled smugly at), because his mind was engaged with- "...Bill hasn't been here that long." Other Ford said it slowly, as he frowned and began to come to the (somewhat mortifying, for not having thought on it sooner) realization that: "...He has had no significant impact on any dimension, anywhere at all, in this dimensional set."
"...yeah. He's a guest here too." Seb shrugged.
"...I didn't see it before," other Ford said next, rather slowly, as he came to the dawning conclusion that... "I was swimming in it, and couldn't even see it, because... I had no proper basis for comparison." He looked up at Seb himself slowly, then turned slowly towards the other two triplets. "He…" The other Ford let out a shocky breath, brow furrowed, and shook his head slightly. "I… There were some dimensions that were so Bill, that I almost felt like I was choking on it," he told them, not realizing exactly what sort of a confession that was, or might be to them all. "But the others… -There were always certain patterns. Certain structures in place. A set of expected circumstances. Ones that I could rely upon." He looked at the three of them who had experiences with other dimensions, in this life or the last. "But there is none of that here. It doesn't exist." Everything felt far more fluid and random here, and...
"So… our place is a wild card?" Stan felt that made sense. Seb added, "Well, at the very least, you don't have to worry about Blue having power over the place." He shrugged. "The stupid lizard might be a jerk, but he's here. And from the last time I spoke with him, he probably won't let Blue take over."
"It's a wild card, potentially in a sea of other wild cards," other Ford said tightly, and the look he was shooting Blue's way was now very… "I may not have to worry about that here, but back in our own set, there-?" His expression began to morph into one of anger. "Any structure that I've ever seen in place that I didn't see him tear down right in front of me-" He shook his head, getting a tight pinched look to his face in the space of two breaths. "None of them were something that I believe he would find overly objectional to keeping in place, for at least a short while longer. -He did something," other Ford ground out, his posture shifting where he sat. "He's doing something. -All this talk of 'fixing things later'," other Ford not quite growled out, "This isn't something he hasn't done yet - it's something he's already started. It's been ongoing."
"...He really believes that he needs to fix things." Wanda sighed. "That it would be better, his way. So that people wouldn't die and stay dead, is what he's said, on multiple occasions."
"His idea of fixing things is breaking everything," other Ford told them. "He-" The other Ford started to push himself up out of his chair, then dropped back down into it, his thoughts having shifted to something else that had his anger battling against something that had him looking far more pained more. "...But Stan said that Bill needs structure to things as well. Tempests in very large teacups. He-" Other Ford went through several changes in expression rather quickly, none of them speaking to something he thought was in any way good.
"What do you mean by breaking everything?" Kari asked. "Because from the way Blue says it, he thinks it would be the opposite. And he's misunderstanding a lot of things, but he seems to believe his way would help."
"It involves breaking every rule that has ever existed that underlies the nature of existence first," other Ford told her, wincing and closing his eyes, to scrub a hand through the hair at the side of his head. "He… no," other Ford half-murmured half-muttered under his breath, "If those dimensions that were wholly-his, with those terrible structures in place that were so very him, the fact that they still had any structures at all in place within them… why didn't he break them all completely, instead of only warping everything there to a point almost beyond recognition...?"
"Ah, the whole, 'who decided gravity' thing?" Wanda nodded. "He told me a little of it. About how the Axo-something decided a lot of things, and from what I could understand, he's the true… 'god' I suppose is the term, of everything and made those rules?"
"He- what?" Something in what Wanda just said seemed to pull him out of his own head enough, that other Ford's chin came up and he stared at her in something like shock. "He told you-" He looked vaguely horrified, and asked her urgently next, "-Are you all right?"
Wanda blinked. "I'm fine. We had another… discussion…" She blushed a little at the thought. "...and I may have vented about some things, for a good long while, but I'm fine." She turned over to the kids' table and called out sternly, "And it's still a 'no' on the tentacles!" which got her some curious looks from everyone, and a disappointed pout from Miz.
"You… vented about some things… to Bill?" The other Ford was staring at her now.
Wanda shrugged. "Those two…" She felt weird even saying it, "...seem to be under the impression that I would make a good 'god' for whatever reason. Blue was asking me some hypothetical questions about how certain laws and stuff should be… I might have gotten a little upset."
The other Ford blinked at her a few times, his expression shifting between… He then lifted a hand to his forehead, rubbing it and looking sideways away from her for a moment, wincing.
"...That would be what passes for a compliment from Bill," he informed her reluctantly. "That he thinks you would make a good demon of a… particular type, generally classified as 'god'-like in thought and action, in the set of our own origin." He made a wincing expression again. Then he looked up at her a bit more seriously. "You shouldn't listen to Bill when he starts talking of laws and rules; anything you care about, really. That's how he tends to break people, before warping them into the newest members of his own personal army of die-hard converts and followers, spanning multiple worlds across dimensions."
"If you become a god, would I be a god too?" Seb looked at her and grinned widely and the other Ford grimaced at Seb's so clear eagerness at the idea. Wanda smacked his arm. "No. I'm not planning to be a demon or god or anything." Then she looked up at the ceiling, "So, mister lizard, don't even think about choosing me for that weird thing," she scolded.
The other Ford made a very curious expression at this.
Then the other Ford shook it off, and started to rise out of his chair again, his expression becoming more strict again. "I should-"
He stopped when a pair of hands came clanging up against the side of his head from behind him, and then started mussing up his hair rather severely and unexpectedly.
He fought the perpetrator off with a calculated flailing of his arm as he twisted in place, then- "Bill?"
Blue put his hands back on his hips and huffed out at him, "Eat all of the things first! -I can feel you trying to burn synapses from clear across the room, you idiot." Blue brought his face in close to the other Ford's own, glaring. "YOU get logic-errors when you don't eat any-of-all of the things, TOO."
There was a bit of an odd staring contest there for awhile, Blue leaning down and in over the back of other Ford's chair, and the other Ford turned around in it almost completely, holding on to the back of the chair and leaning back just a bit, as they frowned and stared each other down, respectively.
"...How did you get over here so quickly," other Ford said after a beat. "I didn't see you move."
"Perception filter-illusion, because I know how to be 'sneaky', too," Blue told him promptly, then pulled his torso back upright from his leaned-over posture rather easily and all-at-once. "Eat the things."
And then Blue seemed to vanish from where he'd been standing behind other Ford's chair.
...The other Ford didn't realize it, but Blue hadn't seemed to stop being where he'd been sitting at the 'kids' table at any point throughout this. (And for those who might have been facing the right way around to notice it at the time, he'd simply stopped talking at that table for the duration of his talk with the other Ford here.)
Wanda blinked. "Right, you still need to eat." Then she turned to Abi who patted Shermie's curls. "Don't worry, I made sure he didn't have any nuts." Abi and Seb finger gunned at each other, making Shermie groan. Wanda knew Miz had apparently Blessed him, but she was still worried.
"Avoid nuts?" the other Ford said, blinking as he tried to shake off the disquiet he felt from Bill's latest interaction with him (while scrubbing a hand through his hair to try and get rid of the feel of-), and took his time turning back around in his chair.
"I'm allergic." Shermie shrugged. Stan looked down at the food. "Wait, there's nuts in here?" While Carla sighed. "He's not a child, he knows, and can order food for himself, and tell the server about his allergy. Or Abi can tell for him because he IS a baby." Carla sent a teasing grin at him I'm not! She just beat me to it!"
"You're allergic to-?" other Ford stopped there, frowning slightly and looking a little off-put, like he'd placed a foot wrong and missed a step below him.
"Yeah? Lots of people with allergies." Shermie shrugged. "I have a co-worker who can't have anything with gluten in it. And another who's allergic to potatoes, of all things."
"I'm aware of the existence of allergies," the other Ford allowed. "I just hadn't heard of humans having any sort of severe allergy to plant-based protein sources before."
"Guess that doesn't happen in your dimension?" Shermie blinked. "You know there are people who are allergic to water? I've read the article about it."
"I'm… not certain if it truly doesn't happen? I suppose it's possible…" the other Ford said. "I haven't heard that about water," he said next, settling in again as the food finished arriving, "Unless you are referring to the reactions that occur when someone attempts consumption of pure laboratory-grade water, or some water source with contaminants of a chemical or biological nature."
"Let's see…" Shermie pulled up the article. "It's a condition called Aquagenic Urticaria. It's like… they can't shower for more than 5 minutes and sometimes their throats swell from drinking water… they get hives, swelling and painful sores." Everyone made faces. "Really? Do we have to talk about things like that while eating? In front of my salad?!" Seb complained. He heard that from one of the kids a while back, some kinda meme thing. It was funny, so he remembered it. Shermie shrugged. "Right, sorry." He put his phone away and reached for his spring rolls. "Well, people can be allergic to all sorts of stuff here."
"They can in my dimensional set, as well," the other Ford noted, lifting his wrist slightly and scanning the plates in front of him (far less surreptitiously than he had during breakfast, feeling a bit more comfortable doing such things in front of them now - largely in part due to Stan's acceptance of him and his actions thus far at the shooting range). "I simply can't speak as to the existence of allergies to local nut species, or potential lack thereof. ...Though if we are talking about non-local varieties, then- ah, apologies." He stopped talking at some of the looks he was getting at his own near-description of conditions that apparently were also not considered proper topics of discussion during mealtimes in this dimension.
"We just have to be careful about what we eat and order. And it's not too much of an issue for the most part." Shermie shrugged. "Miz can't have melons, so there's that." Wanda noted. "They don't make her sick, but they make her throat itch and she doesn't like the feeling."
They glanced over at the kid's table, where Miz was happily sipping on a large glass full of orange-colored liquid. "Well, she doesn't like eating them anyway, so it's not much of a sacrifice on her part to avoid them." Then Seb winced. "Just wish she stopped being so curious about what humans taste like." To which everyone else groaned (and the other Ford winced). "Dude!" Shermie reached over to smack him. "Can we not talk about stuff like that while we're eating?"
"Right, sorry." Seb chuckled, going back to his salad. "So… how're things going with you guys?" He asked Abigail and Shermie. The adults settled into some calm chatter about their work lives.
The not-local Ford ate in relative quiet, listening to some of the discussions around him, but also trying to think at points about the apparent disconnect between what he'd been so certain about with (Blue)Bill up until this point, and the additional information that he had to strategize about him further now.
(...He had, admittedly, largely been putting it off after what had happened with the man-eater in the forest. The idea of multiple Bills was… And the fact that Stan had kept pressing him to leave Bill to him alone to handle, while he worked on… other things…. had been…)
(Ford sighed. It hadn't been a mistake, but it had also left him completely unprepared for this unexpected abduction into this other, largely unknown set of dimensions they were both currently in.)
And with the idea of Bill being able to hide himself in such a way, far more consistently than even he had thought… the older Ford turned to Wanda and asked her, "What exactly is… happening with the man-eater here, in this dimension?" What sort of game was she playing with them here?
"You mean Miz?" Wanda glanced over at Ford. "Well, we adopted her because we think she needs a proper parent. Someone to teach her right from wrong, as she doesn't really have her own morals… not exactly." Wanda sighed. "There are lines that Miz won't cross. But she also doesn't have very good… boundaries. But she's open to learning. And well, I like her. She's good with the kids and she's happy here." Wanda snuck a glance back at Miz, who had ordered a large bowl of beef noodle soup and was blowing on it to cool it down. "I know she's older than she acts, but I don't really mind." And here, her expression became sterner. "I would rather have a chance to try and teach her how to behave, than just letting her grow up and continuing to do worse and worse things without anyone telling her to stop."
"...This presumes that the man-eater is actually inclined to listen to you in some way, rather than simply playing with you to pass the time, until she finds this all too boring," the older Ford pointed out to her, frowning.
"She does listen."
"For now, perhaps, as it suits her. But you can't actually enforce any negative consequences that she does not accede to herself."
Wanda sighed. "And if she doesn't like it, she'll hear us out and is willing to compromise."
"But why would she be willing to compromise on…" Then he frowned as he thought of how Stan had, with Bill… "What does the man-eater want from you that she cannot obtain herself?"
At this, Wanda winced. Why did it sound so… transactional. "What she wants from us is… a family." Wanda looked down. "She misses her human family, from when she was human. She doesn't know how to get them back. At least, that's about what I understood."
...Whereas Bill supposedly wanted this 'Liam' of his back, but thought he had a method for doing so? (Despite the fact that the demon was continually clearly not taking said pathway forward and actually doing so.) "Do you think she would continue listening to you or wanting that from you if she thought she could get her own… ah, original family back?" (Ford knew that he wouldn't be able to do much with the information himself, but Stan had noted how the two Bills had seemed similar to each other in some ways, and… it might be second-hand and highly biased and flawed information, but he'd seen Stan do more with less during their sailing adventures together.)
Wanda frowned. "I don't know. But… if she could get her original family back, then they'd be the ones in charge of teaching her."
"I see." The older Ford set his napkin down, done with his own meal. He glanced across the tables at Bill (who had been largely ignoring the local Mabel for the last two family meals together now, and luckily Mabel had heeded his advice and not attempted to talk with Bill further, it seemed).
Just looking at Bill right now was enough to raise his blood pressure, and set his anger on a slow boil. Not just the fact that Bill had been lying to him for nearly a decade, but the way in which Bill had been lying to him, had been...
The other Pines noticed him beginning to glower. A few of them exchanged looks.
Sebastian reached over to wave a hand in front of his face. (The older Ford startled, blinking, and turned towards him.) "Um… dude?" But Stan pulled his hand away. "He's upset about some things." And the local Stan glanced at him. "If you wanna head back to the shooting range after lunch, just say the word." (The older Ford shook his head. He'd let off the worst of his anger before, enough to be able to keep himself from attacking Bill outright, he believed; putting things off much longer would only leave him completely exposed to whatever Bill decided to do next.)
Meanwhile, Wanda was wondering now about what Miz's human family was like. She'd heard a brief overview, but there wasn't much that she could really know unless she asked Miz about it. At the very least… it didn't seem like Miz wanted her and Sebastian to act like her human parents had been like. She hadn't asked them to change their behavior in any way.
"I wonder what her human parents were like." Wanda asked aloud. "She once told me that they weren't always the best, and they didn't always get along…"
The older Ford looked over at her (almost warily). "You haven't asked her?"
"She's told me a little, but I wasn't sure if I should ask her. We were waiting to see if she was comfortable telling us." Wanda stirred her food absently.
"...I know that Stan talked with her and Bill on occasion, and some things may have come up. But he did not pass anything of a more personal nature on to me." The older Ford held back on saying that he thought it likely she'd just lie about it as some made-up sob story anyway. He remembered what she'd said on the roof in that other dimension, but the supposed trauma related to her death hadn't any relation to her parents, and he had no inclination to pass on potential lies second-hand to others that might be taken as truth. (He didn't know that Miz had talked about her problems with getting into cars with them already. He also didn't think she had been telling the truth about her car-related PTSD, or the rest of it. And with the way that she'd been acting here thus far, he didn't believe that she was playing that 'game' with any of them here; thus, to his way of thinking, they'd be more safe if he didn't remind her of the game she'd come up with in his set, to potentially pick it up again, this time with these people here.)
"Well, I know she was closer with her sisters than with her parents." Seb shrugged. "And with her triangle family? Yeesh. That was… not a good time for her."
"An unsatisfactory home life is no excuse for killing other people indiscriminately," the older Ford noted dryly.
"...I didn't say it was." Seb rolled his eye. "And I don't think Miz kills indiscriminately. Accidents or on purpose, and if it's on purpose, she has reasons for doing so."
"She's over 600 billion years old, supposedly. One would think she ought to have…" the older Ford then trailed off and grimaced, holding back the tired sigh. -Because she was a telepath and an empath, who had been unable to do anything but listen with an always-open mind, and Bill had only just helped her with those two issues a few weeks ago. And with the lack of demons in this dimensional set, the locals would not have the context to understand what demons who played for a purposeful lack of control were like. "If she does listen to any of you at all, I would suggest strongly imprinting in her a desire for maintaining proper self-control, so at the very least she cannot claim any sort of innocence for any future 'accidental' deaths."
"Yes, that's a good idea. I've been thinking of working on that with my kids too." Seb nodded.
The older Ford nodded in return, then slowly stood. (Bill glanced down the table at him, rolled his eyes while letting out an exasperated breath, and stood up himself.) He tossed down a few twenty-dollar bills, to cover his meal (Bill was a bit more discerning about his own amount, but did the same thing), and they both started heading for the door (after Bill gave a quick hug 'goodbye' to his little sister before moving away from the table) - the two of them looked almost wary of each other, they way that they were both moving around the table and watching each other as they went.
But as the other Ford passed by the kids' table on the way towards the dual-purpose entrance and exit, Dipper sat up straight and called out, "Wait a sec-" (The older scientist and the demon both stopped in place, turning towards and glancing back over at him, respectively.)
"Yes?" the older Ford said, looking down at the local Dipper.
"Um…" He prodded his fingers together, looking away. "D-do you… wanna play D, D and More D with us? We were planning to have a One Shot today after lunch."
The older Ford brightened and began to grin immediately upon being asked to play.
...which was almost immediately tempered by Blue perking up and looking a bit interested, too. And as the demon started making his way back towards them, the older Ford - about to respond - glanced up at the motion in the corner of his eye. The other Ford's expression turned a bit more serious and reserved again, as he looked back over at Blue. (There was also a glint of anger in his eye.)
Seeing all this, Dipper turned to Miz, "Hey, you can run your session and I'll run mine, separately from each other." Miz raised an eyebrow before shrugging. "Sure."
Now the older Ford looked a bit like he was bouncing between worry and dread at the idea of the man-eater playing her own game with someone, and a very deep desire to play a proper DDNMD session with someone who wasn't a man-eater or demon.
"Pretty sure you're not invited to my little sister's game, Sixer," Blue drawled out at the older Ford.
"I would not want to, were I asked," the older Ford told the two demons quite firmly. "I believe I've made this point clear on several occasions before this."
"Yeah, you don't seem to like games where killing everything is discouraged." Miz shrugged.
The older Ford twitched at this, but managed to keep his tongue both civil and inside his mouth. (Not least of which because there were young children present.) "I'd rather not play any games with demons at all, because they involve so much killing."
Then Dipper reached over and began to muss up Miz's hair, to her protests. "Don't be mean to other-uncle Ford. I know you're just mad that I'm the better DM." Dipper grinned at her. Miz sputtered, shielding her poor head from this totally awful treatment.
"I have no doubt that you are," the older Ford concurred. "Thank you for the invitation; should Bill wish to play a game with Miz that is non-lethal in any way, I would be happy to join your own session." The older Ford smiled down at him then.
"I prefer non-lethal games." Miz fixed her hair, brushing it out of her face. Dipper had mastered the art of ruining hair, having practiced on Mabel for many years.
"-And also does not involve hurting any other beings," the older scientist added towards Miz, while Blue rolled his eyes at this.
"Self defense is allowed!" Miz declared.
"Oh little sister of mine," Blue declared in not quite a drawl, "You won't catch my Zodiac with that one. You'd have to define 'self-defense' first, so that it doesn't, say, include blowing up entire planets as being acceptable?" The dream demon raised a challenging eyebrow at the older Ford, who just glared, curling his hands into fists at his sides.
"Blowing up planets shouldn't be a solution in any case. Not unless all living creatures have been evacuated first and they had agreed to said 'blowing up' in the first place." Miz paused. "Like in that movie where they just up and put all the population onto a spaceship and let the planet get destroyed by a giant fire monster. I mean, it wasn't a good solution, but that's what they thought was the appropriate one." Dipper blinked at her. "You mean Thor: Ragnorok?"
"Yeah! That's the one! Man that movie was hilarious!" Miz cackled.
"How could you forget what it's called, Miz? It was only released last year." Mabel and Dillon grimaced. How could you forget that aussie hottie!? They both sighed. Oh Thor~ even with short hair… still a hottie~
The Pines family (plus two guests and a Miz-demon) largely made it back to Stan's apartment without issue. (Though the other Ford was now well-convinced that Miz had been lying about having PTSD about riding in cars, given that they all took several Uber cars back to Stan's place. ...He didn't know about the effort Miz had been putting into her informal desensitization therapy, nor did he see how very tense she still was, both in the car and during the ride. Or how she had been trembling with her eyes squeezed shut, as she held onto Zach the entire time. But Blue did, as he had insisted on taking the same car and backseat as her, and he spent the ride patting her head and humming to her as soothingly as he knew how, to try and mitigate some of the panic and fear.)
There was a bit of a kerfuffle over which rooms which DDNMD groups should take place within - Blue being the one to note that the other Ford would not handle hearing the demonic game very well - but it was only after they were all still playing the game with mostly-finished takeout dinner plates at their sides, that the other Ford had an odd feeling that he might have been tricked in some way, when the parents and older adults started calling it as time for bed, and that they could all pick up the game again after breakfast tomorrow.
...And he felt that he was not alone in this, given how Bill was leaning his shoulder up against the doorframe with his arms crossed, and eyeing the local Stan himself.
But he was only really certain about such, when the local Stan said, "There's a bedroom down the hall there, y'know, it's in the less trafficked part of the house, if you want your privacy. The bed's made and there's a fresh set of hygiene supplies." Stan shrugged. "This way, you can just pick up the game again tomorrow without makin' the kids have to wait for you to come over."
...Ah. It was that kind of a trap now, was it?
"I think we've been had," the other Ford deadpanned.
"Speak for yourself, Sixer," the triangle demon said to him next, pushing his shoulder off the doorframe and going upright.
The other Ford glanced over at him. "You don't seem overly resistant to the idea," he noted slowly.
"I said I was sticking around where you go, didn't I? Until we get back to our own 'set." Ford eyed Blue at this pronouncement. "...Not in so many words," Ford noted. Not in any words at all. But to this, Blue gave an eye-roll and said, "So you know I haven't left yet without you, like I said I wouldn't do."
"I…" the other Ford didn't exactly like the idea of sleeping over here again, not least of which because… "You don't have a mystic barrier up," the other Ford said to the local Stan, "And Bill is currently in a vessel, not tied down to an actual body in any way. He could potentially, easily enter your or any of your family's dreams…" It had been one thing when they had first arrived, and Bill had been absolutely exhausted, but now?
"I could have 'visited' them any night I wanted to so far, Sixer," Blue told him. "I wasn't planning on starting now." He gave an eye-roll at the look the other Ford was giving him at that. "I won't be entering anyone else's dreams tonight if at all possible. I just want to get a decent barrier set up here to sleep inside and then actually go to sleep inside it." (Ford winced slightly at this.)
The other Ford stared at Blue a little while longer, then turned to Stan with a frown and said, "...I don't think that he's lying." It was about the best that he could give him, given that he still wasn't certain about-
The other Ford pulled in a breath and looked away from the two of them for a moment.
"Eh… we've got these… unicorn things?" And Stan lifted his hand and pulled up his sleeve to show a thin rainbow color cord around his wrist.
"What?" The other Ford stepped in closer, to gently tug his wrist down and examine it carefully. It looked... odd. "What is this?" he asked Stan.
"Mabel calls 'em the magical friendship bands of protection." Stan shrugged. "Unicorn hair, runes… kinda like that thing that my Sixer made during Weirdmageddon, but much smaller."
"Any mercury in them?" Stan shook his head. ...How odd. "Where did you get them?" he asked curiously.
"Well, Miz, Blue and my Sixer worked on them together." Stan held back the sigh as the other Ford practically froze in place at that list of names. "Sixer double checked them in case of any issues. But Blue wanted us all to be 'safe' since he didn't want us dying or getting killed and makin' Miz sad." Stan shrugged.
The other Ford looked up at him at this, and there was an odd mix of emotions in his eyes.
"...Your brother checked them, and he is certain that they work properly," the other Ford said carefully. "He tested them himself."
"Yeah. I don't really get it all myself, I'm not the magic man, but Ford had a few tests with some forks and a lighter. Anything more intense was kinda… veto'd for the moment."
"How long have you had them," was what the other Ford asked him next.
"Like… four days? Think you showed up with him later the same day that he left after givin' those things over to us." Stan shrugged. "We didn't really think about safety stuff, didn't think we needed it. But Blue got all worried, started ranting about how our lack of security was an issue and all that."
...And that was a real odd sort of worry that the other Ford was showing here now. Hadn't let go of his arm yet there, either. ...Okay, now he had, but, uh.
The other Ford had turned and was looking over at Blue now, the demon wasn't really looking at him, just leaning his back up against the doorframe again with his head tilted back, arms still crossed, and… yeah, Stan wasn't getting in the middle of that whole mess there. No way.
"Welp, good night you two." Stan waved a hand lazily as he turned and left the room.
Ford (and Bill) ended up staying, and they didn't actually end up talking again that night.
Ford used the shower in the attached bathroom to the bedroom that Stan had so graciously given to them for their use, along with an assortment of hygiene products. And Bill used… some sort of cleaning spell instead - on both himself, and on all of their clothing - not that Bill asked him first, much to Ford's continuing ire.
And then they both ended up in bed, on top of the covers, with a set of barrier wards burned into the ceiling above them that (apparently) extended down to cover them both. They were lying in the same sleeping position that Stan had talked the two of them into using that first night on the floor of the living room, when Ford had been paranoid from lack of food and sleep for weeks: one hand curled over the top of Bill's shoulder and covering Bill's mouth, the other arm shoved under Bill's waist and that hand holding Bill's hands together (loosely) at the wrists. (Bill didn't complain about it this time, either.)
Ford wasn't entirely certain which of them fell asleep first. But as far as he could tell afterwards, he didn't die in his sleep at any point, and he didn't dream that night at all.
It was, overall, a fairly restful night, despite the tension. The next morning, however, was a bit of a different story...
"I want pancakes!" Zoe shrieked, throwing an absolute fit. She was screaming as loud as she could, kicking her arms and legs wildly as she laid on the floor of the kitchen. She continued screaming with her face red and gasping for air. And yet… Sebastian continued bustling around the kitchen, making vegetable omelettes, stepping over her without comment. Realizing she was being ignored, Zoe just wailed louder at this injustice! Zach was sitting calmly on the ground beside his twin. They'd had a family vote this morning on what breakfast would be, and Zoe's pancakes had lost out.
Zach voted for pancakes, and Mabel and Diego and everyone cool! But unfortunately, there were more boring adults.
But Sebastian was firm in his decision, so he calmly mixed the eggs and worked on making different omelette batters. Wanda was chopping the vegetables, Carla was doing the same with meat. They all stepped over the flailing child easily, ignoring her tantrum. That was how it worked after all. Ignore them, don't give them the satisfaction of knowing their behavior would be rewarded with attention.
The other Ford, who was awake and had participated in the voting process, because he had been asked to do so, was watching the child screaming her lungs out on the floor. He was a little uncomfortable at how her distress seemed to be being largely ignored. "Ah… could… we also… perhaps make… a pancake or two for her, as well?" he asked.
"Nope. Not if she's going to be throwing a fit like this. Behavior like this shouldn't be rewarded." Wanda said calmly. "She'll exhaust herself eventually."
"I-I-'m CALMED NOw! I-I wanna pancakes!" Zoe, clearly not calmed, continued sobbing.
"It's good you're calm," was the only thing Seb said before looking at the other Ford. "We're lucky she's wearing the bracelet or this place would be burning. Our house is fireproof, but Stan's isn't. Yet. It should be, I wonder how expensive it would be to fireproof this whole place..." Seb started muttering to himself and in his trailing off, turned his back again. He cracked a few more eggs into the bowl, humming, completely forgetting he had been talking.
Older Ford just nodded slowly. Unsure how to feel about this.
"C-can I get pancakes now?!" Zoe sniffled, grabbing onto Seb's pant leg as he walked by. She was clearly making an inhuman effort to gasp for air and not cry anymore. "No, sorry sweetie. We're having omelettes today. We voted. You already get pancakes most days."
At this point, Blue appeared out of (almost) nowhere, scooped the child up off of the floor and away from Seb's leg, turned, and began to walk away with her. Zach pushed himself to his feet and followed. Zoe was screaming again, "But I want PANCAKES! W-why why can't I have pancakes!?" Zach sighed. He was a little sad about no pancakes too, but they voted. This wasn't like that time when daddy promised he would give chicken nuggets and then forgot. The grown ups won fair and square this time.
"You can't have pancakes because you are depending on others to make them for you, at their whim and on their own sweet time and timetable," Blue calmly informed the upset child. "If you want to have pancakes, and be sure that you can get them, then you should make your own pancakes yourself."
"But-but I don't know how to use the kitchen…" Zoe rubbed her eyes.
"I will teach you how to make the pancakes, with and without using a kitchen," Blue told her next. "There are many methods of making them that do not require all of the screaming and attempts at burning down houses. Once you can make them yourself when given all of the ingredients, we will talk about how you can gather your own foodstuff supplies for making them even more all-by-yourself then, after that."
The older Ford got up from the table as Blue carried Seb's daughter out of the room with him, her twin brother trailing behind like an innocent duckling. "I'll keep an eye on them," he told the others with a deep sigh, as he turned away and headed after them, fully aware of how that sounded when speaking of watching another Bill Cipher.
"Alright. Scream if you need us." Seb called back, pouring the batter into different bowls so the women could begin putting the toppings into them.
"It will likely be too late by then for us all," the other Ford called back to him quite practically, and then he was out of the room as well.
"...Dillon, go with him, just in case this Ford gets ahold of a baseball bat or anything?" Wanda called out absently. Dillon winced and got up to go. Seb narrowed his eye at her silently for bringing that up, she silently sent him a glare of her own.
The other Ford caught up to them rather quickly, and he wasn't entirely surprised that this little trek involved making their way all the way back to the pool room.
...by way of a door that Blue kicked, then opened - and apparently used as a shortcut of sorts, given that it seemed to spit them out of another doorway that was only a room and a half away from the actual pool area, which should have been much farther away from the kitchen in the penthouse.
"We don't have any supplies, Bill," the other Ford noted as Blue handed him the sniffling girl-child abruptly, then shoved his hand into a pocket for a handful of cash. Blue flicked his other hand to the side, to open up a pumpkin-sized green portal, and the other Ford watched as Blue shoved his arm and half his torso through. Blue then pulled back with an armful of ingredients, no cash in-hand, and the other Ford watched as the green portal winked out again.
"...I thought you said you weren't going to create portals to other dimensions while you were here," the other Ford said next, as Blue sat down abruptly on the concrete floor. He managed to crouch down with Zoe in hand next to him himself.
"Wasn't to another dimension," Blue said tersely, as he started laying out ingredients. "Limited it, too."
The other Ford frowned at this. His frown didn't exactly lighten up much, either, as Blue made another portal after that, his looking-spell Eye flickering in front of his forehead, and pulled out a large flat stone next; another portal, and he had an odd chunk of wood that looked like part of a fallen tree log.
"Make a bowl out of this," Blue told him, setting it down on the floor with a solid 'thunk' next to him. (Older Ford frowned at this, not least of which because he already had a lapful of child.)
Dillon came into the room and sighed. "You know, letting her get what she wants all the time is gonna make her spoiled… more..." Diego came in with him, pouting. "But if we make our own pancakes then it doesn't count!" he protested. Zach hummed. "But I think mommy and daddy want us to eat omelettes."
"Spoiled would be doing things for her. Teaching her means self-sufficiency, which is the opposite of spoiled," Blue corrected Dillon. "And if they wanted you to eat omelettes for a reason other than 'because I say so', then they should have made that argument earlier instead of taking a simple vote on preferences, which was arbitrary and stupid." Blue made another portal, and yanked out a thick piece of bark next. "There are more than enough foodstuffs in there to make both. Being arbitrary for no reason is stupid. Thus: we rebel." Blue looked over at Zoe next, then gestured her over to his own lap.
Dillon thought about it. "I guess that kinda makes sense. Still, it's not about wanting the pancakes, it's about how throwing a tantrum isn't the correct response."
"Zoe is not stupid. She knows that listening to someone who listens to her, learning to make pancakes, and then making the pancakes herself works to get her pancakes. You can tell this by how she is not doing any more of the tantruming now. The correct response to wanting pancakes is to make them yourself."
Ford looked down at the girl who was slowly clambering her way out of his lap to go sit down in Bill's lap instead... and yes, she wasn't screaming anymore. She hadn't been since Bill had made it clear that he'd been listening to her; in fact, Ford was fairly certain that was when she'd actually started to calm down the most.
"This is the way to do it if you are stuck and have to make your own supplies," Blue told her in instructional tones. "You can find substitutes for these things in cities instead of the woods, and would have to make and clean them in a similar way," Blue told her next. "You could make a wood-burning fire and cook it that way instead, with this rock above it for heating," Blue tapped a finger on the largeish flat rock, "But I will teach you the other way first."
Zoe nodded, wiping her eyes as she watched what Blue was doing.
(Miz was still asleep, or else she'd have been there to argue for pancakes for Zoe, or sneak her some under the table.)
"But-but Uncle Seb said no! I'm gonna tell that you're getting pancakes!" Diego, like a good obedient nerd, stomped his foot.
Zoe gasped. How DARE he?! "I'm more old! Don't!" she shouted at her cousin. Zach looked back and forth between them. "We could eat half omelette and half pancake?"
"Seb knows that she can get pancakes if I teach her how to do it, and he did not tell me not to teach her. That means this is an 'okay' way for getting pancakes," Blue said to Diego next.
Diego frowned. Then, quietly, "So… can I get pancakes if I learn too?" Dillon raised an eyebrow. So it was more of jealousy than justice huh? What a little snitch.
"Yes," Blue said. "But you will need to do it the wood-fire way. You would get more tired from spellcasting fire to cook the pancakes with spells than you would get back from eating the pancakes that you make." Blue held out the large piece of bark in front of him. "I will show all of you how to do both. The concrete floor here can handle a little wood-burning fire on top of it."
Ford looked over at Bill as he picked up the piece of wood, and pulled out his (very recently obtained) all-purpose knife. "You aren't going to be teaching them how to use a knife to cut out a bowl."
"Yes, I am not doing that," said Blue. "I'm not doing that either," Ford said next. They didn't seem to have the proper dexterity for it, yet. "Yes? Fine," Blue said to him next.
Ford let out a breath at this, looked down, and started in on the bowl (now that his lap was clear of small child), while keeping an eye on Bill out of the corners of his eyes. (They were going to talk about this, too… later, Ford decided.)
The procedure didn't actually take very long. Blue walked Zoe (and Zach, and Diego) through cleaning the bark strip using water from the bathroom near the pool room and fire, and doing the same with the flat rock, and then charring the wooden bowl that Ford had finished by then...
...and then using the bowl to mix the actual food ingredients, heating the stone first (very carefully, Bill heated it the first time using a more complicated-looking magic spell), and then they got to the process of pouring a couple 'spoonfuls' from the bowl of batter out on the hot flat stone (between a quarter to an eighth of the contents of the bowl), using the strip of bark to half-spoon half-pour-and-scrape it out, then spread it out across the surface of the hot rock carefully - but not too far… - to then cook it.
Blue showed them how to do it first with his own fire, and he handed all of that pancake off to no one at all - he simply burned it to ash in his hand, almost in a sleight-of-hand way, as he directed Zoe to start mixing the ingredients that he put into the bowl for her with the cleaned strip of bark.
And once she'd gotten it mixed to Blue's satisfaction and ready to lay out on the stone...
...Blue had her use the same 'ball of fire' technique as he'd taught her to do just a few days ago, and lower it down close to the stone to heat it.
He had her stop periodically to flick a bit of water onto the stone, to see if it sizzled - to tell how hot it was - and once the stone was hot enough again…
...he had her carefully use the strip of bark to get it all out of the bowl in a controlled manner, spread it out properly, and then use the bark to scrape underneath it, to get it turned over once, and then...
The pancakes weren't very large, or all that thick, and it took Zoe a few tries before they stopped coming out a little too crispy-burned because she'd kept the flame in her hands on the stone too much and not waited for the right not-too-hot sizzle of water on it first before trying to cook things again... or because she'd had trouble getting the pancake to flip over and off, but...
...at the end of it all, Zoe was grabbing the right amounts of ingredients, heating up the stone correctly (or cooling it off a little faster with a bit more water as needed), mixing up and cooking those pancakes with her little bark scraper-spatula, and eating them one at a time like a pro.
"Who wants to learn next, and then third?" Blue asked, once he was satisfied with Zoe's progress.
Zach and Diego looked at each other, narrowed their eyes, and then screamed, ""Rock Paper Scissors!"" Zach threw his hands up in triumph at his rock to Diego's scissors. "HAH! I win!" He cheered. Diego huffed, but didn't complain anymore past that. Resolving to wait his turn.
"Sixer, teach Diego how to make a fire properly, yes?" Blue said, opening another green portal, and pulling out several small- to medium-sized branches, dry twigs, and yellowing grass, to put down next to him.
Ford let out a bit of a sigh at being effectively ordered around like this, but given that the process would go much faster if someone started the fire for it now, and how Blue was sending him a look that reminded him of possible tantrums if children were not kept occupied... (Zach and Diego had been as transfixed at what was going on so far as Zoe had been paying attention and concentrating, but...)
Ford waved Diego over to sit in his own lap, as he started arranging the firewood into the sort of flattened brazier stack necessary for a small cooking campfire. (He'd done it before many a time himself, on the other side of the portal.) "Come on, older uncle Ford!" Diego jumped as he ran over to sit on his lap. Ford gave him a small smile. It shouldn't be so weird to see Stanley's enthusiasm in him, Diego was his son, this version of him at least. He was still getting used to being called 'uncle', especially by the local Dipper and Mabel.
Zach furrowed his eyebrows as he mixed up his ingredients. This was like making cookies with Miz, but less… making things up? He kinda wished Miz was awake though, because then she would give him a hug and tell him that he did a good job when he finished. But uncle Sixer said that she was still asleep. Probably in her other world. Zach wondered why they couldn't go and live there with her. Space looked cool.
Once Blue had checked Zach's mixing and pronounced it "Acceptable," he made another green portal, and pulled out another two flat rocks and two large-ish chunks of fallen tree log. Blue closed it and then made one more, to pull out two more strips of bark.
Blue walked Zach through the process of washing and charring the scraper clean, and cleaning the flat rock too. This time, he also did it himself at the same time to the second set of new 'extras' - not like earlier, where he'd just explained it by showing the spell but not actually doing it alongside them as a full example.
Ford was largely finished with setting up the fire when Bill shoved the two additional fallen log pieces his way. He didn't do more than sigh, as he looked to Dillon to take Diego from his lap for a moment, and then got to work on carving two more bowls up with his knife, as well.
He was a bit surprised to have the first bowl nearly grabbed from him by little child's hands once he'd finished and started to reach out to set it down to the side, and glanced up to see Zoe running off with it towards the nearby bathroom. (...Presumably to wash it and then char it herself, for immediate cooking use? She had needed to hand her own bowl off to Zach for his turn at cooking and learning how much to combine and then mix things earlier.)
It was almost peaceful there in the pool room as they worked and they cooked. Dillon watched it all, rather impressed by this 'survival' training the kids were getting. He was making notes, for himself, for such a time in the future when he might need to do something like this. Like if he went camping.
...And Ford himself had a very strong suspicion at this point, as to how and why Bill both knew this, and also seemed rather proficient at doing it himself in his current 'vessel' body.
But Ford kept his silence on it for now.
Blue periodically asked Zach (as he had with Zoe) if he liked the taste of the pancakes he was making yet, and what Zach didn't like about them if he didn't - and then explained why that was and what to try next to make them taste better - and once Zach had deemed them 'Yummy.' Blue then left him to it, to make as many with his twin sister as he liked, and shifted back a bit closer to the fire Ford had made, to check on it, then slap the third and final clean rock over it.
Blue motioned Diego over with a hand, and with him (almost one year younger than the twins), he put the right amount of ingredients in the bowl for him the first time, but let him do all of the stirring. Diego had a look of concentration, but he was also frowning. "So…" he said simply, as he looked at the ingredients. "This is a quarter cup of flour…" He had watched how many cups Zach had used for his own mix, when he called it yummy.
"Yes," Blue told him.
"And one of the small spoon of baking powder… and a pinch of the salt…"
"Which is up to this line on the bark scraper if you don't make it too high past the curved edges on this one." Blue showed him how to level the teaspoon.
Diego nodded. "Then one of the big spoon of sugar. And then a quarter cup of milk." At this point, Ford was staring at the four year old, wide eyed. Blue calmly showed him how to level the tablespoon and the liquid measuring cup, placing it down so that the flat surface would show if the milk actually came to the exact line.
"And then one egg. And then a…" Diego pointed at the butter. "Cut a small piece." Blue nodded. "Or one tablespoon of vegetable oil, if you like that better instead," Blue said to him.
"I like butter!" Diego grinned. Blue nodded and let the boy continue working, though he noted calmly, "Putting the egg in the empty bowl first is easier, if any eggshell gets in that you have to get out. Easier to see it, find it, and not let it escape into all of the flour and other-things, when it is all on its own." "Okayyyy…" Diego nodded.
Ford was working his mouth soundlessly for a moment. (He'd thought Bill had done that for Diego because the child wouldn't be capable of following the measurements himself, not because… he might only struggle with it because he might not have the hand-eye coordination for performing it physically?) Ford finally got his thoughts in order. "Did you… memorize that? From watching the others make it?"
Diego nodded. "I saw them make a bunch. So it's easy to remember."
"Repetition does help with that. So does song," Blue noted. "-Egg-first, check-all-the-bits," he said more than a little bit sing-song. Diego giggled, then repeated it word-for-word.
"Then the other wet stuff in~!" Zoe sang from where she was sitting.
"-Butter-is-better, just-a-small-piece." "Milk-in-a-quarter, pour-just-a-bit." "Baking-powder-sugar, small-spoon-then-big." "Salt-is-a-trick, just-add-a-pinch."
"The last thing is the flour!" Zoe cheered. "And then you miiiiiiiix it!"
"-Quarter-for-the-flour, mix-it-then-pour." Blue had a quirky smile going at this point.
Zach was struggling with the song, he just couldn't really… get it. But he tried his best to remember the words at least.
"And-then you-can-cook all-your-paaaaancakes!" Blue ended his sing-song banter with a final prose-poetry beat.
The children clapped.
Ford let out a breath at this. Then he blinked as he realized Diego was holding out his first completed pancake to him. "Here other uncle Ford." He grinned, an anticipatory, hopeful look in his eyes. And really, Diego looked almost exactly like a child Stan, he looked so much like his father.
To which Ford raised his bioscanner and checked it for him.
"It scans as highly edible," Ford lauded the child, with a nod. When Ford didn't take the pancake, Diego's expression dropped and his hand lowered.
"That is food for you, for your help with the fire, Sixer," Bill said, in a tone so admonishing that it had Ford reaching for the pancake and taking it from the child before he realized what he was doing.
Ford blinked down at the pancake in his hand.
He slowly lifted his head upwards again to stare at Bill Cipher for a few very long moments.
And then Ford looked down at the child who was sitting in Bill's lap.
Diego looked back at him.
"...Is this for me to eat?" Ford asked of the child with a careful sort of slowness.
"Yeah." Diego wiggled. "If… if you want it?" He asked, unsure. Dillon was frowning at Ford, waving a hand at him. Diego was sharing his food with him! Didn't this Ford realize how much of an honor that was?!
(Well, what Bill had just done there to him was a bit nightmare-inducing, reacting reflexively without any thought in-between, but that was another thing entirely.) Ford's scan had shown it as edible and safe to eat, so Ford told the child, "Yes, I do. Thank you," and promptly ate the pancake.
Diego smiled, "Is it good?" He asked. "And not terrible, because only Blue likes terrible?"
"It is the best pancake I have ever eaten from a fired stone," Ford told Diego quite honestly. "And I have had those before on several occasions," he added next, for completeness. (Generally without all of the same ingredients available to him then as they all did here - but that was rather not the point of the matter here, Ford felt.)
That made Diego's smile nearly blinding, he bounced in Blue's lap, looking absolutely delighted. He also set to work making more pancakes, which he then handed off to his big brother Dillon, who was rather surprised to be given this precious offering. "Thank you. I will savor this gift." Dillon told his little brother quite seriously. And it was only after Dillon began eating his pancake, that Diego finally made one for himself.
Blue patted Diego on the head, upon seeing this behavior. It was sort of a light-patting, short-stroking motion.
Diego made and ate a pancake for himself, rather enjoying these pancakes more than the normal ones his mom made. And Bill stopped the stroking motion, simply to rest his hand on top of Diego's head.
And when the next pancake Diego made went to Ford again, Bill started up the stroking motion again.
Zoe and Zach were still making their own pancakes. Zoe had eaten all of hers. Zach had a small pile beside him that were sitting on a few of the leftover wood pieces from Ford's carving (carefully cleaned and charred, of course); some he ate, and others he stacked up. When Dillon asked about them, Zach said he was going to give them to the other grown ups as their breakfast dessert when they finished their omelettes. Dillon smiled at that, and, taking a page from Blue, began petting Zach's head too. Zach giggled. "I'm not Miz, though!" He didn't try to stop the petting though.
"A very good idea," Blue said. "You can share with them your superior breakfast choice. Make them regret their own poor choices, as you feed them. Have them taste your victory."
Ford frowned a bit at the wording of that (and was trying to think of how, exactly, he should respond to that properly), when Zach shrugged. "Nah, there's no winning or losing. We all eat, so that's everyone win."
"HM. -Fine. Have them not regret their choices that led to your pancakes. Only regret their not-knowing how to make these themselves this way yet, if you do not teach them," Blue revised that to next. "You can have your victory in pancakes, and still share your 'win'."
Zach considered it before shrugging. "Kay." He closed his eyes to nibble his pancake.
Dillon looked over at Zoe. "You're not sharing yours?" He asked. Zoe huffed, cheeks bulging from her mouthful. "They dinnit give me pancakes! Shhho they dun get any!" She said with her mouth full.
"And you are not and will not take their egg dishes, either. This is fair," said Blue next.
Zoe blinked. "I can't have the omelettes?" She kinda liked the bologna ones though.
"If you only want pancakes, and do not want to share. You made it clear earlier that you wanted pancakes earlier, not egg dishes," Blue noted.
Zoe frowned, looking down at her pancakes. "...what if I trade one pancake for an omelette?"
"That will probably work," Blue told her. "But if you make even more to maybe-share, then if they don't want many pancakes for one omelette, then you have even more pancakes for you! -But if they do want many pancakes for one omelette, then you will still be able to trade pancakes for the amount of omelette you want, no matter what. -It is good to have extra-spares in reserve that no-one knows about. Just. In. Case." Blue told her next, leaning in slightly with a wink and a grin.
Zoe's eyes widened and she let out a truly evil cackle. Zach and Diego rolled their eyes, used to this by now. Ford let out a bit of a tired sigh. (Mainly at Bill and his behavior. He'd heard far worse cackling laughter, from far more terrible people than this largely innocent child.)
"We have returned triumphant!" Blue announced to all and sundry, as three children, one teenager, and one Zodiac filed their way back into the kitchen. (This, after having put out the fire, cooled off all the stones and put them aside - and then all the little kids had been thoroughly distracted for awhile as Blue only then had given them all a warning about needing to heat unknown stones in a fire far away from them first, because those stones might explode if there was any water inside of them. Once they'd settled down a bit again, they'd cleaned up the bowls and scrapers, and stacked all that and the remaining items 'away' on one of the nearby tables in the pool room, before making their way back through the shortcut-door, and...) "Pancake victory is ours!"
"We are here to trade." Zoe pointed at her father. "Give us omelette and you'll be allowed to have a pancake!" The boys stood behind her with their own stacks of pancakes. Zoe was the leader and spokeswoman, as per usual for their little games, and they didn't mind. Zach lifted his plate higher so the grown ups could all see the bounty they had. "Can I have a cheese and hot dog omelette?" he asked.
"They're actually quite good, and definitely edible," the other Ford said over their heads to a few of the confused (and other slightly amused) looks from the other teens and adults in the room. "Bill made none of them himself; they're perfectly safe to eat as well."
"Wow, look at you guys, learning to cook for yourself." Shermie grinned at them. "I bet you're doing better than Mabel is. And she's over twice your age." Mabel protested, "Hey! My cooking is fine!"
"Tell that to the glitter I still find myself spitting out," Abi mumbled into her coffee. Mabel slumped over, "Everyone's bullying meeeeee!"
"Soo~ Trade?" Zoe asked impatiently. "We made delicious pancakes! Even more good than yours, daddy!" She bounced up towards Seb and giggled. Seb, who was upset she still got pancakes despite the huge tantrum, sighed. "Ok fine." He waved her off.
While Zoe exchanged pancakes for omelettes from her Uncle Stan who was forced to stand up to give them the required food, Diego ran towards his mom. "Mommy! I made pancakes too! I saw the twins do it, and then-and then just did everything like them too!" Carla snuggled him. "Well look at that~ Who's my smart little man~"
"And other uncle Ford said it was the best pancakes he had from a fire! I also did fire! Uncle Ford, have you had pancakes from a fire?" Diego looked at his uncle. Sixer blinked. "What?"
Sixer thought about it. "We didn't really have pancakes in space…" He said solemnly. And then he grinned, "Because we had STANCAKES!" And then he and Stan high sixed each other while screaming. Carla had her face buried in her hands.
"Mm-HMMMMM," went Blue after all the pancake trading was done. "And now, for the next part of the cooking learning-lesson," the demon said, before looking down at Diego. "Where are the mugs?"
Diego pointed up at one of the cabinets.
Blue turned towards them, and pulled several out. "And the spoons?" Diego pointed. Blue retrieved a few of those also. "And-" Blue kept listing off things, and Diego pointed them out. ...And by the time Blue had gotten to the refrigerator and was having Diego point things out within view of the open door (with some very sing-song asks), Diego was giggling.
Blue pulled the last thing out of the fridge - a carton of eggs, to put into the table - and then kicked the door of the fridge shut with a snap that sounded almost like a very loud attention-getting clap.
"NOW," said Blue. "Kitchen cooking method: microwave pancakes! -And also microwave pancakes. With mugs ans with plates. We will do the 'mug' ones first-today; they looked more-fun." He paused. "You can add many of all of the things to these, too. Like sprinkles. Or the chocolate chips and banana. But whipped cream should be added only-after the microwaving is done," the demon noted, as he pulled a chair into place by the ingredients and general items pile (for Diego to be able to clamber up onto if he wished) and started moving measuring cups and ingredients into a closer semblance of order.
Zoe was bouncing in place, screaming about microwave pancakes and how Blue was the coolest big brother ever.
"I AM!" Blue enthused, grinning. "But Miz should be the one to say that, because she is my little sister," he added in rather practical tones, as he helped her move her own chair into place. "Zach, do you want to make this-one also?" The little boy nodded, and Blue helped him move a chair into place, too. (And from the way he'd already situated things with the ingredients and mugs and measures, Blue had clearly moved things into a position that would work if all three said yes to him, right from the start.)
Blue waited for Diego to clamber up onto the chair (with his ill-gotten gains in-hand) where he could see everything better, before he started listing off amounts and ingredients for the basic batter, putting it together in a mug for him. (The twins followed along on their own, doing their own measuring.) He waited patiently as Diego added the chocolate chips to the mix, and stroked-patted him on the head afterwards.
"It's so cute that they're learning to cook." Carla smiled. "Hey Diego, does that mean you'll help me out in the kitchen from now on?" Diego thought about it. "Does that mean I get to measure stuff?" he asked. Carla went over to kiss his chubby little cheek. "Sure, dear."
"Better to learn that from someone else than me, yes," Blue said next (which had the other Ford eyeing him over that odd little comment). It was about then that Miz was finally up. Wanda sighed in relief as she made her way into the kitchen. "Did something happen? You're usually up early?"
Miz yawned, rubbing her eyes. "War broke out on Florbox. I was up late evacuating people while making it look like I was just kidnapping them for my own amusement."
"Stupid Time Baby," Blue muttered. "-Couldn't you do the dragon-god thing and 'recruit' them for all of the planting-elsewhere even faster?" he asked of his little sister.
"I actually ended up doing that, had to be in two places at the same time so I could negotiate the hostage exchange with myself. And then built a new planet for the people to live on, they had a culture of raising animals anyway, so they were perfectly happy to be a new farm planet."
"Two places at once is bad; that is what perception filter-illusions are for," Blue noted, not looking very happy with her. "You should not split yourself like that; I told you why."
"The Federation has people who can sense Soul resonances, to prevent being tricked by illusions pretending to be gods and stuff. I kinda have to split myself. It's pretty useful that they can't tell souls apart."
"Then overwhelm their sensing with your brilliance? Or block them completely," Blue(Bill) waved off. "-Why would 'Bill Cipher' let anyone know what he is doing, to get in his way? Unless he wanted them there, and then ambush!, for daring to sense all his brilliance?" Blue noted, as he took Diego's now-mixed mug and placed it in the microwave for him, for "...2 minutes 43 seconds on this microwave oven," before letting Diego press the buttons on it and hit 'start'. (Ford's eyes narrowed at all of this.)
"...huh… never thought of faking my Bill self… that actually makes a lot more sense." Miz yawned again. "What's for breakfast?"
Blue looked down at Diego, with an expectant raised-eyebrow look. And Diego replied happily enough with, "We gots omelettes and pancakes!" To which Miz lit up.
"Also, is 'Bill Cipher' not known more for trickery than the dragon-god?" Blue noted next. "Less of a cognitive leap, for those idiots making up most of the Federation. Yes?"
"Yeah, also got a bunch more spy eyes around places. I have a friend who's willing to take over the Federation and fix it, but she needs to know everything that's wrong with it first. So I've been gathering more info." She sat down at the table. Wanda sighed. "I don't want to say that governmental coups are… well, this isn't going to be a hostile takeover, is it?"
"All changes in government are hostile to some degree," the other Ford noted darkly, not going to stay silent on that piece of things here. (He might not be able to do something about what the man-eater had already done, in a place he couldn't get to, or her own future plans in any meaningful way himself, but he could at least say that-)
"Tina's going into politics. Even if there's no deaths involved, in fact she made me promise not to kill anyone for her, or anyone at all, she doesn't like me killing in general, she is planning to get to the highest seat of power, equal to Time Baby, so she can start changing laws and restructuring everything…"
"Which will lead to assassination attempts, deaths, and other terrible losses," the other Ford said next.
"That's where I come in. We've got a Deal, she's protected from any assassination attempts. And literally won't die even if someone manages to slip through a loophole."
"I wasn't talking about your 'friend'," the other Ford noted stiffly, "I was talking about everyone else whose lives she will be impacting with the broad stroke of a non-mechanical light-pen."
The microwave dinged, and Blue pulled out the first mug. "Hot; let it sit for a 'ring around the rosie', then use a knife around the edges and dump it out on a plate by the upside-down." Blue showed Diego (and the other twins) the 'upside-down' procedure using an empty mug and plate to demonstrate. (Blue put the plate upside-down on top of the mug, then rotated them both 180 degrees together, until the mug was upside-down for removal, with the plate right-side up).
"I'm trying my best to keep deaths to a minimum." Miz sighed, reaching for a plate of eggs. "But keeping track of everyone, everywhere, is a lot of work. I also worked on my own dimension. Still haven't figured out progressive time, but I think I got stuff to grow properly now."
"You're messing with things that should not be messed with, that you know are beyond your control," the other Ford said darkly, before looking up at the others. "Why are you not saying anything about how she is planning a dimensional takeover right in front of you?!"
"...But she's not? Her friend is? And she's just helping her out?" Seb scratched his head. "It'd be like Stan lending money to the mayor or something, right?"
"Tina's going into politics whether or not I'm helping her. I'm just keeping her safe, because she's my friend," Miz added.
"The man-eater is enabling the hostile takeover of an entire governmental structure, for an unknown who will stay in power and wield massive and wide-sweeping authority - I assume you're hoping it to be forever, with this Tina as your willing little puppet-dictator, completely dependent upon you for her continued existence. -That is nothing like simply giving money to a mayor, that is giving eternal life to a rising dictator who will take over the local official's position in the next election, and then assume absolute power by rewriting the entire basis for governance into something that a Bill Cipher finds appealing."
"She's not my puppet! She's my friend! And she's a good person!" Miz protested. "She's one of Ax's shrine maidens!"
"From what I've heard about how the Federation does things over there, I think changes would be good." Wanda sighed. "I mean, I sort of hope for changes to the government here too. But Miz, you're not allowed to just take over here. This is the human world, where humans have to choose who they want to lead them."
"Shlump literally kidnaps children away from their parents and puts them in cages to die." Miz ground out. Wanda and everyone else winced. "Yes, we know. And that sucks. And we've been holding petitions and protests to get him to stop-"
"Protests?" The other Ford straightened in place, looking at Wanda and the others. "Why haven't you simply staged a break out and removed them from capture?" He frowned at them. "What sort of government do you have here?!" He'd assumed it was a representative democracy, like his own dimension. "Who is this 'Shlump'?" He asked next, eyes narrowing, suddenly realizing that maybe the man-eater was being misleading about something. "Why hasn't the army been mobilized? What country is this madman controlling?"
"The Nazi president. He got elected back in my human dimension, and apparently he got elected here too. I warned your Stan about him, dunno if he exists in your set, but if he does, don't let him win."
Elected here-?! The other Ford glared at the man-eater, then turned to the rest of them. "Is this true?" he asked. "Did the Nazis win World War II here?"
Dipper pulled up the article about the camps for the children of immigrants and handed it over. "The Nazis didn't win World War II. But there are neo-Nazi who still exist, and they rose to power and now that racist asshole is our president."
The other Ford frowned severely at this. He handed the phone back to Dipper, after he was done with his reading.
Then he turned to Sixer.
"Have his handlers in the Shadow Government not contacted you about an upgraded version of that mind control tie?" he asked Sixer firmly. "If not, you should reach out to them. Why haven't you done that yet?"
"...they haven't contacted me in years." Sixer blinked. "They're dead," Miz added. "Died like, fifteen years ago. America's been running on it's own, by the will of the people since." (Blue stayed largely silent at this declaration, currently being voiced.)
The other Ford pinched the bridge of his nose, like he was getting a headache.
"Are you telling me," the other Ford began slowly, "That there are Nazis running around this country - some of them in positions of power, no less - and no-one has been doing anything about it, because the Shadow Government didn't pick any successors, and the rest of the populace doesn't think it's a dire issue at-hand?"
"Yes. And the government is allowing it. Says it's freedom of speech, or freedom of religion, for them to be Nazi." Shermie slammed his hands on the table. "I've been screaming at people about this for years! But no one fucking listens!"
"And mommy says I'm not allowed to kill them." Miz huffed.
"-You stay out of this," the other Ford told the man-eater severely, before turning back to Shermie. "Shermie, talking without action is not doing anything. Punching bullies and Nazis in the face, is doing something. So is shooting them, when they put children in cages to die." He looked over at the two Pines who had done their own dimensional travelling. "Are you honestly telling me that you know about this, and have experience in breaking both into and out of places in liberating others from Bill Cipher's control, and cannot be bothered to do so. -You both clearly have the time, personnel, and resources for it."
"The neo-Nazi have been around for DECADES, and there are many who've gone into governmental positions, and they make the laws, so we're not allowed to shoot them. Because that would be 'breaking the law' and the camps are guarded by the military, they're endorsed by the government. We can't do anything or else we'd be criminals. Then our whole families would be taken into custody. Plus, where would we go with the children? We could give them back to their parents, but they'd get kidnapped again, or killed by the violence happening in Mexico, which was why their parents were trying to escape to the US in the first place-"
"Then if this country is so unsafe, why are you living here with your families, if one person's criminality is a whole family penalty, subject to internment, especially in a place where your own children could be kidnapped as well?" the other Ford asked of them next, flabbergasted at this.
"We have drills at school on what to do if a person or people with guns come onto campus and try to kill us." Mabel raised her hand. Dipper nodded, "There's another case of a school shooting at least once a week."
The other Ford looked aghast at this. "The schools here are having to fend off presidential-led kidnapping forces on a weekly basis?! And none of you are doing anything about it, or even moving someplace else that is far safer to live, because you're worried about breaking the law?!"
"Well, the shootings are done by random people, not governmentally led. But the government's response to the shootings was to arrest the students if they're of african descent, and try to give the teachers guns." Dipper said bitterly.
"Also, I think you're getting it wrong. Kidnapping any children would be too inclusive. They only do that to brown immigrant kids." Dillon corrected him. "I have immigrant friends from Germany whose parents have been staying here illegally for months and you don't see him in a cage."
"Oh, I see. No-one is responding to any of this because these Naxis are only coming for one type of children first." Had they learned nothing? "From past history, people should be well aware that these Nazis will be coming for the Jews and Roma and the rest of the populace next, including you," the other Ford said grimly.
"Also, where would we even go? The other countries are having similar issues as well. There's nowhere TO go." Shermies complained.
"Then take the mind-control tie, extend its range, and handle it yourself!" the other Ford said in exasperation. "Lead your own underground railroad! Do something!" the other Ford said. (And as Blue put the next pancake mug in the microwave, listening to this, the demon slowly started to smile...)
"So, you want us to mind control people, to take over the country and government, ourselves?" Wanda said slowly. "Taking away people's free will and enforcing our own ideals upon them?"
"How is stopping a child abductor - by force as is generally necessary with most deviants and predators - some great moral cause of concern?" the other Ford shot back, slapping a hand onto the top of the table surface. "If you don't do something now, then when will you?! -Will you all still consider it unnecessary, if the president here suddenly decides to steal your own children tomorrow? You do realize how much harder it will be to fight back if you wait until they have already been kidnapped by the government, and could be used as leverage against you, to-" The other Ford looked irate, and he almost flinched as a hand came down on his shoulder and his head whipped around to see-
-Bill standing there quite calmly, to tell him next, "Nothing here is a game. Either stop complaining at me when I decide to take over places like this one, or let Seb handle things here, to fix all of the things that need fixing, like he told me he would - and he wasn't lying," Bill told him next. "You're looking to the wrong triplet of those three for action; those two are idiots who are used to cutting and running, not digging in for the long fight," the demon told him.
The other Ford looked incensed and offended at the state of affairs here still, but his breathing started to even out at this, as he glanced over at Seb next.
"Seb?" the other Ford asked. "Should I be speaking to you in private about when the next raid of these camps is going on, to offer my services to you in such endeavors?"
Seb was going to grin smugly at his cutting and running brothers, when he heard the other Ford's words. "...What? We're raiding?" Well, he wouldn't lie and say he hadn't considered it before, but it was too dangerous! Besides… he was already caught once stealing the radioactive waste… He didn't want to get caught and fuck up things for his family again.
"...you know, if Miz went around into those camps and saved the kids, were you going to tell her that she can't?" Wanda asked him directly.
"I don't trust Miz; I trust Seb," the other Ford told her directly. "She has no moral sense of right and wrong, a point you yourself may recall having agreed with me upon, quite recently." He then narrowed his eyes a bit. "And if she'd already done so-" telling her she couldn't would be a lost cause, because the deed would have already been done. Not to mention the fact that, "-even if those children were no longer there, that still would not solve the problem of the person who had put them there still being able to do so again after that."
"And yet, she hasn't freed them yet. Because we asked her to let humanity figure this out, and fix it themselves." Wanda said softly. "But everytime I check the news, I just want to give her the go ahead." she muttered.
"She wants to free them. She has the power to free them. What would we do? Storm the camps ourselves and get shot to death doing so?" Shermie asked. Seb groaned. "The government already wanted to capture me for experimentation, because of my powers. If I go down there and get caught, they'd turn to my family next, my children." He rubbed his face. "I'm not strong enough. Miz is willing to help, but she just wants to get rid of all the 'bad guys'."
The other Ford stared at them all like they were mad. "You need not expose yourself to that level of danger without proper armor or automated defenses." And he would hardly ask them to do so! "Fiddleford makes large advanced mobile robotic machinery with large amounts of weaponry for fun in an afternoon. Is he not as fed up with the state of affairs here as you are? He might even be able to set up something to allow you to control them remotely without issue. -And the unicorn glade could be used as a safe hideaway for those children, if all else would fail, could it not?"
"He's also being observed by the government. Because of said advanced mobile robotic machinery." Sixer rubbed his temples. "They regulate a lot of the projects that are approved, and what supplies we're allowed access to."
The other Ford found it hard to believe that these people would let something like that stop them from getting anything that they truly wanted or needed. Not to mention that… "I severely doubt that has stopped him from using any of it before," the other Ford pointed out next. "I cannot believe that you all are treating the laws here as absolute, when you know they are wrong and should be-"
The other Ford stopped suddenly, almost mid-thought, as he realized what he'd just been about to say out loud to these people.
(And Blue started to grin.)
"Because this is NORMAL!" Shermie screamed. "It's stupid and awful- but this is considered NORMAL here!" He heaved for breath, pointing at Stan. "I TOLD you to take the governmental elections more seriously! But all you cared about was getting your company's profits up-!"
"Oh so it's MY fault now?" Stan gasped. Carla pulled on his arm. "Stan, breathe…"
"-and I don't think stupid laws are absolute! But if I dont have the power to stop them, I might as well keep my head down and keep my kids safe!" Seb's eye flashed red in anger. Stupid laws...
And Blue sidled up just a bit closer to the other Ford's side.
("...is this why you truly brought me here," the other, older (completely compromised) Ford said to Bill quietly next, as he looked out across the table at all of them from where he was standing, (almost) alone. "For me to see this.")
("...Maaaaybe," said the grinning Master of the Mind, the Rule-breaking triangle demon, Bill Cipher.)
"The laws are all stupid. But they're still the law. And if we break them, our families will be the ones next on the chopping block." Shermie breathed heavily into his hands. "What do you want us to do? Attack the camps with a giant robot? Kill all the guards? Kill the police when they come for our families? Escape to another country and have our president start WWIII for that other country sheltering treasonous murderers like us?" He glared at Ford. "What do you want from us?"
The other Ford looked out at them all, and… he felt desperately sorry for them.
"You do realize that this country would still be ruled by the English, or worse, with that exact same, particular sort of sentiment," the other Ford said quietly. He braced himself and said next, "You do have the means to make them safe, and keep your families safe while doing so."
"And how many people will we need to kill, to do so?" Shermie asked, entirely toneless.
The other Ford looked away from them, suppressing a twitch at this. (He wondered when killing Nazis before they caged and killed even more children than they already had became seen as a moral deficit, rather than a necessary evil to save innocents, doing more good than harm in the world.)
"Upping the challenge level," Bill said to the other Ford almost teasingly with a grin.
Miz was covering her ears, and had placed Silence upon the children long before the shouting began. They were still innocently eating their breakfast, only hearing the sounds of 'boring' talk about the weather.
"Not now, Bill," the other Ford said under his breath. He closed his eyes, held his hands behind his back, and thought.
"The spaceship can be repaired," the other Ford said, without opening his eyes. "The portal tech can be rebuilt. ...The unicorn glade exists, and can be secured. There are likely other similar spaces here, as well, that you may already know about. Those can be used as bases of operations, or secure and safe areas, away from harm." A breath. "There are ways to simply not be identifiable, and not get caught doing such acts as are necessary to stop these horrors from continuing to occur or be carried out. You are likely not alone, in being the only people fed up with the state of affairs here. Jails can be built for the worst offenders, and they could be the ones abducted to those unreachable locations instead, with no traces left behind. A new Shadow Government could be instituted and installed, in place of the old. There are energy shields that could be made, to protect more open locations further. When Fiddleford is ready to do so, he can self-destruct anything he handed over to the government one way or another, and move himself to safer quarters. -You will be unassailable." The other Ford opened his eyes.
"And what? Leave the planet, leave everyone behind? Let the world fall to shit while we get away?" Shermie asked, "Doesn't change the fact that if we choose to fight back, we're gonna have to kill people. Willingly choose to kill people, for the sake of our own ideals." He crossed his arms. "What I've been doing is signing those petitions, going to rallys, voting to put people who have actual morals into the government, so that they can try and fix things. Because that's all I can do." He pointed out the windows. "Going around and killing people is the work of those same radicals who bomb governmental buildings or assassinated previous presidents. You want us to kill people, abduct people, do all the same things that we don't like them doing to US, but it's fine because now WE'RE the ones doing it?!"
"I didn't tell you to kill anyone, you could simply disable them in any encounter you find yourself in," the other Ford said, frowning. "There are many forms of advanced weaponry that could be used to disable instead of kill, to begin with. And I was not talking of you leaving anyone behind, I was discussing the various options for safe living quarters for your families while you did so, until you have finished handling the situation at hand and made things safe for them here again. That is rather the opposite of leaving the world behind. -And doing the same thing as them would involve abducting and killing children as they are, which you will not be doing; you would be jailing those that do such with impunity. Or do you not have prisons in this country for adults, only children?"
"So imprisoned, kidnapped and imprisoned. Because we believe we're in the right. Just as they believe they're in the right. Because we believe our own beliefs are better than theirs." Shermie scoffed, "Which they are."
"That is generally how things work, when a society exists," the other Ford noted, frowning at his scoffing attitude. "And your beliefs are better than theirs, unless you think that is it right and good for children to die in cages at the hands of adults who want to imprison and kill them in such a manner, for their own sick and delusional morally-deficit reasons. There is no equivalence in morality here; it is terrible to me that you seem to think that there is." The other Ford frowned at him. Was the idea of jailing these people truly considered as terrible as killing them to this man? "Is there some reason why you seem to think that the imprisonment of these adults is so-"
"-They have jails and prisons for adults who do 'criminal offenses' here, Sixer, it isn't a new concept," Bill let him know.
"Then why are they all acting so aghast at the concept of jailing these people for what is clearly murderous behavior?!"
"Because the jails are run by the government, everything happening right now is the Law, and going against it-" Shermie covered his face and groaned.
"And I have just discussed how you could create your own jailing facilities, and where you can put them, to prevent there being any issue in removing these people from power in a safe and controlled manner-"
"ANARCHY! Yeah!" Mabel cheered.
The other Ford frowned at this. "Ah, no. This would be the reinstitution of sanity and justice in the governance of your country; the exact opposite of anarchy."
"But, if we suddenly took out over half of the entire governing body in America, there's going to be anarchy. Most of the police force will have to be imprisoned, a good portion of all the government workers, most politicians, governors, mayors, senators-" Dipper blinked. "Nearly the whole population of some states-"
The other Ford looked aghast at this. "The problem is that widespread?" He frowned. "There are that many people abducting children for caging and death here?" That sounded rather suspicious to him.
"...how did you think a Nazi presidant got voted into power? He was voted." Dipper sighed. "And the abduction thing is new, he started that because of all the people from Mexico fleeing to America, hoping for sanctuary from the mobs and crime lords in their country killing and abducting them. Fat lot of good that did."
"Voting for someone who was not known to do such a thing before rising to power does not reflect upon those who voted for them. If these people had no part in the abductions, and did not expect such from him before, then that large a segment of the population need not be imprisoned..The problem is not as widespread as you suggest, Dipper." The other Ford was frowning at him now.
"He was openly racist all during his campaign and talked about how much he hated people for being the ethnicity and race that they were, that was what made some people like him, because they felt the same way." Dipper ground out. "America is a racist steaming pile of sh-"
"-That is a different problem," the other Ford told him. "One that is on a rather different level than the murder of children. That problem can be addressed later; this can and should be addressed first, by the much smaller number of people perpetrating these deeds."
"They're denying the child murder, since they're not outright killing them, just imprisoning them and letting them die of neglect in their cages- and some people refuse to believe it's real, or that it's happening!"
"Which is why someone should step in and stop all of it!" the other Ford said, feeling a bit exasperated and frustrated again. "That is the very definition of a Nazi internment camp, and those responsible for these acts should be removed from power, and those children all freed and given the help they will all need to recover from such murderous neglect, post-haste!"
Miz raised her hand, "Hello? That's what I wanted to do! But apparently saving the lives of children isn't something I'm allowed to do!" Miz huffed, burying her head in her arms. "...still want mommy to be the new God. She'd do a good job." Miz spoke up quietly. "Because I can't be trusted, right? But she can. You said so yourself. So she'd be allowed to exert her power and fix this mess."
"I'm not going to become god." Wanda sighed. Miz looked up at her. "I could help?" "No, Miz." "I can build those prisons for anyone you want to get rid of, I can keep them there, unkilled. Just tell me who."
The other Ford pinched the bridge of his nose, and looked like he was getting a headache again.
"...Exactly how long were you planning on us staying here," the other Ford said to Bill, sounding stressed.
"I can have us back to whatever time we like in our own 'set," Blue said, sounding like a cat with a twitching tail. "Time isn't a problem. We're even in vessels here, not bodies."
Damn him. "This is a trap."
"Only if you want it to be!" Blue said to him rather brightly and sing-song.
"...I hate you." Oh, did Ford ever. He couldn't win here. (The ding of the microwave, as Bill turned away for a moment, to help Zoe remove her mug and Zach to put in his own.) Either he stayed and did what Bill clearly wanted him to do here, isolated and led around by the nose, or he left this 'set with Bill and had to...
"...You want me to give in on something I find morally reprehensible, easily correctable, and wrong," the other Ford said to Bill next.
"Brother wants back up." Miz commented, chewing on her pancake. (Ford visibly winced at this, but was also starting to think rather hard.) "And I want mommy to give me permission to actually 'do' something about this shithole of a society." Wanda blinked. "Miz?"
"Oh look," Blue said, sounding devilishly delighted. "He's starting to get it. -But no," Blue told him next. "I did mean it when I told Seb that I was fine with him trying to fix things himself. I said I would take notes," Blue told him, "But I never said I wouldn't offer further help that could be taken, but could also be turned down."
Ford rounded on him at that last part, because- "You expect me to just walk away from-!"
"-I expect you to realize that all of the things that are wrong here, are wrong here and can be fixed!" Blue cut him off. "I also did not expect you to remember that I can pick any time I want anywhere, for a return for us from our 'set back to here, which is why I am TELLING it to you NOW."
The other Ford stopped short at that.
Blue let out a huff at him, hands on his hips. "The next time we come back here, I can bring us RIGHT back to the same time that we left. There would be no 'leaving things here' forever, or even a little while, if you don't want to leave things like this here; I could do that." (Ford was all but glaring at Bill at this point - he doubted Bill would make it so simple for him, with all these 'can's and these 'could's. Ford didn't believe that Bill would-) "Nonlinear time loops are something else to contemplate - but I will leave those to Seb's own discretion for vetoing, being the local Bill Cipher in-charge here." (Seb twitched a bit at this.)
"Miz, do you really want my permission to free the children?" Wanda asked carefully. Miz glanced over, seemingly calm, if not for the tight grip of her hand around her fork. "At least let me save them, even if you insist on everything else happening slowly via elections and protests. At least let me save them." This must have been how Pynelope felt… huh? Miz could understand, but still… recklessly going against the Federation like that… Miz had no intention of letting Wanda and the others do something that stupid, so Miz would do it herself.
Wanda closed her eyes and breathed. "What would you do?" she asked (before Ford demanded it out of her in far less open a mindset).
"...small, localized earthquake, enough to break the cages, enough to distract the guards. Then mass teleport, sending the kids back to their parents, if their parents aren't jailed or dead. Teleports for the parents out of their own jails if they are, then sending them to a country that is willing to let them shelter there. And if there are none, send them to an island I can build myself, fully furnished and plenty of food, for them to stay until I can find a better solution."
"You'll only have her word on it," the other Ford said tightly, in warning tones at the very real possibility that... "That island will also be handled at her own whim and complete control, as well."
"I can look and confirm," Blue said next, "You can tell when I'm lying." (Ford looked over at him at this. "Can I?" he said rather tightly, hands clenched into fists, to which Bill replied, "Yes.") "And Miz can tell Seb and Stan here where the new island is, if there is one, and pass off control of it over to them. Or Fiddleford and Seb's Ford. Or all four." Blue waved off like it was a complete non-problem to him, like he was sure his sister wouldn't mind handing off the island to someone else to handle things for her further, from there. (Ford frowned at this.)
Wanda furrowed her brows, caught in Miz's pleading stare. Though Miz couldn't hold eye contact, her gaze sliding down to Wanda's mouth instead. Miz never could hold eye contact, it seemed to make her uncomfortable, Wanda noted absently. "I can even give them computers and internet connection," Miz added on, as if that was what she thought Wanda's hesitation was. "So they can still contact the outside world, if they wish to leave and want to get off the island-" (Which would be problematic for all of their safety, if Shermie had been correct about there being nowhere to go for him or the other locals, if all other countries were having similar Nazis-in-power issues as well. Ford frowned at the idea of the man having begun his whole argument - on a move to safety being untenable - on a lie to begin with, rather than a lack of support by his brothers thus far in securing a safe location for him, his wife and his children-) "-which I hope they don't, I dunno where they'd be able to go, to be honest. Everywhere's kind of a shit show right now." Miz grumbled.
Wanda sighed. "It'll reveal magic to them." Miz hummed. "And what's wrong with that?" Wanda looked over at the rest of her family. "...alright, but just free the children and get them, and their families to safety. Don't kill anyone, don't hurt anyone." And Miz's face had a slow growing grin, until she was smiling so wide you could see her fangs. "Thank you…" and then a ripple seemed to go around and out and everyone shivered at the feeling. Then all the tension seemed to leave Miz as she went back to eating her breakfast, kicking her legs back and forth cheerfully.
Shermie blinked. "So… is it done?" That was… fast.
"...Bill…" the older Ford said slowly, and the Cipher-eye spell started flickering in and out, in front of Bill's forehead.
Miz hummed, chewing on her food. The rest of the adults slowly sat down, unsure how to feel at all the stress and righteous anger being addressed so… easily. "Was it… really that easy?!" Shermie was leaning against the counter, sounding tired as fuck.
"Demon magic really makes things too easy…" Sixer rubbed his face. "But this didn't fix everything."
"No, that'll take time and effort from you all." Miz shrugged. "That's what you want, right?"
Wanda sighed. "...The world is a mess…" She was glad the children were going to be safe now. "What if more children are taken?"
"I believe that is rather my point on the need for removing those in power who keep perpetuating such acts in the first place," the other Ford said rather coolly, crossing his arms as he waited for Bill to confirm, one way or the other...
"They'll be teleported as well, along with their families if they get arrested. I can expand the island as needed." Miz shrugged. "And I even healed the children as a bonus!" Then she waved a hand at Shermie. "You can see if everyone wants to get in on that Stanford's plan to entirely remove and imprison a quarter of the entire planet's population!"
The other Ford twitched in place.
"That isn't what I said, and you know it," the other Ford gritted out at her. "They heard me, and even they know it!" the older scientist yelled out at her next. (He'd just been talking to Dipper about this not ten minutes ago! -And if he'd been carrying a halfway decent gun at this point, Ford would have shot the man-eater on the spot for her blatant and terrible lie.)
Miz blinked at him innocently. Wanda sighed and laid a hand on her head. "I'm sure it's not an entire quarter. An eighth at worse," she said to him next.
"If an eighth of the population of the planet wanted to cage and kill children, there would be no children here," the older Ford said angrily, fed up with being lied to and about.
"I'm not talking about them being the type who wanted to jail children." Miz said simply. "I meant those who agreed with Nazi ideals. Those who think they have a right to demand for other people to not exist simply because of their race, or their religion, their health, their disabilities, their gender, or their appearance."
"Stop baiting my Zodiac like that, little sis," Blue said to her next, a little absently but no less firmly for it, with his Cipher-eye spell still flickering at his forehead. "He knows that education is the solution for that, not death. He also knows what percentage of most populations, human or otherwise, generally let others dictate their thinking for them, when they can. -Current incorrect thought that can be changed at a whim is not an excuse to kill by his flat morals; direct immoral action is."
"...fine. So every person would simply need to be checked individually." Miz shrugged. "So what would your solution be to this?" she asked Ford. "How would you fix what's wrong here? I'll even give you as much time as you need to read up on the news, see what's happening here and all that."
"I do not want or need your help," the other Ford said stiffly, offended and immediately turned off by this so-called 'offer' in the extreme. "And I made my position clear before, which you well know." (He couldn't believe that the man-eater seemed to be leading up to trying to pull off some sort of 'oh, I don't understand you' lying farcical game on him again!)
"Fight back. Jail those who stand against them?" Miz blinked slowly. And at this point, Dillon shuffled the children out of the room, sent them off to the living room to watch cartoons. None of this was something they should be here for, and they were beginning to get suspicious at people's tense expressions.
"No, damn you!" The other Ford was practically shaking with rage at this point, at the demon willfully misrepresenting and twisting what he had said! He was talking about removing a small set of murderers and enablers of widespread child-massacre from their positions of power, without getting caught or recognized, in a way that no-one would be able to 'stand against them' doing so in the first place! Because they would never even know it had been them! And in order to enable these people here to do so, who were rightly concerned about their families' safety while they did it- "I said to first secure several locations for use-"
"-Sixer, breathe," Blue said next, and the other Ford closed his eyes and did so, hands fisted at his sides.
"...Is she on 'strike two' yet, Bill," was what the other Ford gritted out at him next, as he opened his eyes to glare rather murderously at the man-eater.
"Miz. Stop upsetting other Ford." Wanda said firmly. Miz pouted and Wanda narrowed her eyes even more. "Miz, go to your room. You're not allowed dessert tonight." And the look of absolute horror on the man-eater's face was almost amusing. (Or would have been, if Ford didn't know full well that it was a total sham act, start to finish. He knew the man-eater could create whatever she wanted to eat out of thin air, dessert or otherwise, whenever she wanted. There was nothing stopping her from 'disobeying' and doing so without getting caught.) "B-but-" "No. You're being very naughty. Now go to your room." Wanda repeated. And Miz… got up, head down, and shuffled off.
"Bill. What did she just do, right before this, with that level of expenditure of her power," the other Ford asked of him flatly.
"Looks like she made an island and put them all on it with enough supplies for two weeks to a month, without causing a large enough seismic event to be picked up at any location with a working earthquake meter," Blue said somewhat neutrally, eyelids halfway to closed. "Only a few children were sent to other countries with their parents. The island doesn't have enough adults or supplies to handle… medical things for the children properly, at-present. If they need those things in the next two weeks to a month." A pause. "Don't know if all the adults can be trusted, haven't looked that far back yet before you interrupted me."
"Is she at 'strike two' yet," the other Ford repeated, tightening his arms against his chest just a little more closely as he asked. (He'd forced himself to pull his arms up to cross them across his chest before Miz had walked by, to try and stifle the urge to lash out and attack her right then.)
"She isn't a demon-from-the-outside-"
"Is she at-"
"-NO," Blue said to him next, tersely, and the other Ford shifted his shoulders a bit, as if getting ready for a very different sort of fight.
"Stanley-" the other Ford began.
"-will have 'a lot to say about all this', yes Sixer, I'M AWARE," Blue tossed back at him crossly, not quite a snarl. "Are you GOING to let me CHECK HER WORK PROPERLY, OR NOT."
The other Ford clenched his jaw at this.
Blue's 'looking-spell' kept on flickering. The other Ford kept on standing there facing him, more glaring at him than watching him.
"I don't trust your judgment-" the other Ford began again after awhile.
"-I'm giving you FACTS not 'judgment', you idiot," Blue snarled out at him next, whirling in place towards him, eyes opening back up wide and dropping the spell. "NOW SHUT UP AND L̡̠̭͖̻̹̥̟̜͖ͮ̂̓̔̈́͠E̲̬͓̖̺ͫ̂̄T̢͖̯̻̣̳̐͑ͫ͑ ̯̹̦̯̲͈̣̋̈͛̃M̫̦͇͍͉̳̔̏̋ͤ̂̕͝ͅE͔̪̩ͤͩͬ̓ͣ̈̌̃ͣ͞͝ ̷̯̪͍̻͔̮̜͙̅̄̉W͈͚̭ͥ̅͊ͣͦ̋̉O̢̼͚͕̼͔̟̜ͦͥͥ̅R̸͓̻̖̭̥͇͉̳̩͊̈́̏͒ͦ̓͂͆̕K̸̜̱̠̩̠̪̬ͨ̉̀̏̅̏̋ͤ͜!"
The other Ford's eyes went slightly wider, and (even though he'd already been bracing himself for it) he didn't completely stifle the flinch.
Blue was glaring at him, fists clenched at his sides now and glaring. And...
...the other Ford, without taking his eyes off of him, reached out, pulled out a chair at his side, and slowly sat down in it.
Blue glared at him for nearly a good half-minute longer, before letting out a huff of breath, turning away from him in a jerking sort of motion, and closing his eyes completely this time as he lifted his hands into a triangle shape in front of his chest, seemed to brave himself in place with his feet - and the flicker of the outlined Cipher-eye 'looking-spell' at Blue's forehead wasn't flickering anymore, it looked to be a brighter, only slightly-wavering, almost near-constant glowing blue.
Sixer sighed. "I'm gonna text Fiddleford, see if he's willing to get out to that island to bring supplies and help to the people there. Dunno where they'd go…" He got up and left the room, typing on his phone. Stan was leaning back in his chair with a groan. "...well, at least once that's settled, we can just have our summer vacation."
Shermie looked like he wanted to say something, but Abi put a hand on his shoulder. He sighed. "Right. We'll deal with the rest of it as we go. Sneaking around, taking people out. Hope that doesn't just make whoever we haven't taken out yet put the country on high alert over the president going missing-" He paused. "Wait, the government wire taps all phone lines and-"
"Perception Filter. Miz put them everywhere. We're fine." Seb rolled his eye. "Besides, I'm sure they listen to people talking about kidnapping the president everyday, s'not like we'll stand out."
"If Fiddleford can't hack into whatever technology exists for that and wipe every record that has ever existed, I would be very surprised at that," the other Ford said tersely, still not looking away from Blue where he sat. Dipper was tense in his seat and Mabel was rocking back and forth slightly, halfway to sweater town.
A few minutes went by. "Bill." The other Ford didn't look happy.
"It's a spell, not my eye, you impatient-" His spell started to flicker more again (instead of glowing more steadily), and Blue pulled in a breath and visibly calmed himself. "...It's taking awhile, because I'm having to work around your local Weirdmageddon. I'm still checking adults. Some of them are those 'constructs' she likes to make for things sometimes; I'm trying to check what she programmed them with, completely, to all-possible effects and interactions."
"Then give us the broad strokes," Sixer suggested.
"Yeesh. Bossy." Given the odd tone of voice he'd said it in, with the inflections all off, Blue didn't sound completely tuned into everything happening in the room with him just then. (He'd really not registered who had just talked to him, only what had been said.) The demon stopped talking again. But, just before they all seemed sure that he was going to obstinately not say anything else…
"On the island, there are: twelve-hundred one-acre farm plots, staged, already-seeded-and-sprouting to ready-for-picking-and-consumption in one-day increments, from one month of consumption back in time. Equal planting areas of assorted vegetables: carrots, radishes, potatoes, onions, spinach, peanuts, bush beans, corn, asparagus, lentil beans, cabbages, sunflowers. No fruit trees, no fruit plants; no livestock, no fowl. There are: two sheds, filled with hand-tools for farming and weeding. No additional seeds. There is: one water purifier, large, automated, not designed for servicing; no spare parts or access panels. Sea water source; solar-powered. Potable water input-output of up to seventy thousand gallons a day; run at full capacity, removal tanks will fill within one month's time. There is: one solar generator, large, not automated, not designed for servicing; designed for general maintenance and manned by seven constructs, spare solar panels via connection-swap-out. No grounding rods; with worst-case storm strikes every day, spares will last for up to two weeks. Connected to one water purifier, three hundred and twenty two houses, twelve communal buildings. There are: three hundred and twenty two houses, standardized universal design. Rooms include: first floor, with one living room, one dining room, one kitchen; second floor, with five bedrooms, three bathrooms; roof, with no attic; no basement. Amenities include: plumbing, electricity, furniture-"
"-Okay, hold up, hold up!" said Stan and Blue stopped talking for the moment. (The demon was still standing in that weird hands-making a triangle pose, with his eyes half-closed. He'd sounded weird, too, like he'd been talking on autopilot or something. Or maybe in some kinda trance.)
"She… she really built all that… in the several seconds it took for… for… that?!" Stan asked breathlessly. Blue didn't say anything. (He was still in the midst of deep-scanning and processing more than a few things - he'd just been listing off the basics that he'd already been able to glean from things before. It was the people who were taking longer to look at and trace farther back, along with the connections back from all those different facilities when they'd first been out into them. He hadn't been certain whether his little sis might've just pulled in other adult humans elsewhere on the planet before; he was working on decoding all the construct programming as well.)
"...how long has she been planning this?" Wanda asked, in a bit of shock. How long had her daughter been stewing over this, and just been waiting for Wanda to give her permission to do so?
"The man-eater has said before that her powers just 'do things' sometimes," the other Ford said tersely, "Which is why she does not blame herself for her own loss of control; she actively doesn't try to learn and exert control over what she can do, and instead does the opposite, letting it run wild and fulfill her 'wishes' haphazardly." The other Ford then grimaced. "She might have been lying about that, but the fact that Bill is still checking things…" He trailed off, while still watching Bill 'work'. (He'd never seen Bill with this level of attention paid to anything, to a degree that the dream demon seemed to be paying little-to-no attention to his own surroundings. It made Ford feel distinctly uncomfortable in watching him do this, for reasons he couldn't really put into words…)
"I mean, her alignment is chaos…" Seb shrugged. "Though I do agree that she needs to work on her control. But this… I don't think this was some haphazard thing. She'd probably been thinking about this for a while."
"...She's sneakier than she seems." Sixer rubbed his chin. "Stocking up on that buffet the other day, and instead of using up all that energy right then, she stored it."
"Creating an entire island must take a lot of power…" Sixer and Stan glanced at each other. "...how long has she been planning this?" Stan wondered.
"You think the man-eater waited for a planned-out moment to use it?" the other Ford glanced over at the local Stan. "Or has she consistently eaten far more than she needed to, at at least one meal, every day."
"Miz always ate a lot…" Seb noted. "I mean, she likes eating- feels more like she's just using what her natural desires are to help along what she needs for her goals…"
"The man-eater made it sound as though she just used a significant amount of energy in her own dimensional set, though. Assuming she wasn't lying about the reason for her sleeping in," the other Ford noted.
"...wouldn't know unless we asked her. But if she just got done negotiating for sovereignty over a bunch of refugees, as her dragon self, she probably just got a huge boost in worshippers," Sixer realized.
"She negotiated with herself. And then supposedly created an entire planet after that," the other Ford said dryly.
"Using their fear of 'Bill Cipher', and I'm pretty sure that's what she did, to make their rescue from him by Xin that much more significant to them." Seb frowned.
The older Ford frowned. "Receiving the fear, then translating the fear to adoration, for an even-larger boost." He'd realized he'd misunderstood Seb earlier; the ex-demon had been referring to that, not the ownership, before.
"And creating planets on her side shouldn't be hard for her, she once told me she threw up from emotional overload and created a planet from that."
"By using the overload itself, most likely," the other Ford said. "That still doesn't-" He sighed, and adjusted his glasses, glancing back at him. Demonic energy and power level calculations were never easy, were they. "You said her alignment is 'chaos'; yours was not?"
"Pretty sure mine still is." Seb winced. "I get kinda… Weird and jittery and off if I don't burn up my energy build up sometimes. At least, working out and exercising helps to ease it out. It happens to the twins too."
"Well, yes. You'd likely start leaking it if you don't use it. It would begin to spill out of you if you're full and unable to hold more of it in." The other Ford frowned at him a bit. (He would've looked amused, but this was a rather serious problem.) "That is how most magical beings work. I should think Weirdness would not be much different, in that respect."
Seb nodded. "Yeah, I don't really have to use my powers as much since I left Gravity Falls, so it became a problem. But Miz… well, she's a lot stronger than me. And despite that, she's still trying to be a lot less destructive than I was when I got stir crazy. Like, I attacked some guy with a knife-" Wanda patted his arm. "You didn't kill him, it's alright. And we're making sure you don't do that again."
The other Ford sat back up a bit. Seb had done what? -He'd attacked someone else with a knife, like that local Bill had? Why? -When?
Seb caught his look and winced. "I was drunk, some guy was trying to flirt with Wanda… eh… wasn't… my best moment…"
The other Ford winced as well. He couldn't exactly speak well of himself on that front, either. It was the reason why he didn't tend to get drunk when the situation didn't call for it as being rather necessary, anymore. (Or when he was in a known safe space where his loss of control would not-)
"Well, I'm sure she thought this out," Sixer said, going back to the main point from earlier: Miz's control and planning, or potential lack thereof. "She must have." Sixer frowned. "Building a whole island… She had to pick out a location for it." He looked over at the other Ford. "Even if she does allow her powers to run wild sometimes, I don't think she did so here." If it involved the lives and safety of children, and from what he knew of her, Sixer doubted she would leave it up to chance. Which just meant that she'd been keeping track of how many people actually needed to be teleported to safety, and how much room they'd need to live in- and did she say she gave them internet connection too?!
"...That's pretty cool." Mabel blinked. The older Ford bristled. "No, it is not! It is dangerous, because-"
"-Why do you always automatically assume the worse of her?" Mabel frowned at him. "Constantly telling her that everything she does is bad, especially when she's trying to do something nice, is gonna give her the wrong idea." Mabel huffed. "We're trying to teach her to be good."
The other Ford was about to open his mouth to protest, but a laconic voice cut in before he could: Blue. And he said...
"Oh, is that what you're trying to do?" Blue asked of them, his Cipher-eye spell flickering low, as he reopened his eyes fully, and looked over at all of them, slowly lowering his hands.
"Yeah! Because love and friendship!" Mabel cheered with no hesitation whatsoever.
"Oh, I see," Blue said next. "So, just to be clear, the reward you gave my little sister for 'doing the right thing' was sentence her to her room without breakfast, and take dessert away from her."
"No, I sent her to her room for upsetting Ford by purposely taunting him." Wanda corrected him, as the other Ford twitched.
"And you missed the larger picture in the process, but I can hardly expect a bunch of humans to understand how humans work better than I do, now can I?" Blue said with almost a sneer underlying his tone. "You just watched my little sister expend a great amount of energy without any reserve built up from finishing her eating of even a normal-sized breakfast for herself - and you knew this. You know how testy I can get when I haven't eaten; you know how testy most humans get when they haven't eaten - and you ignored both of these things. You banished her without food, after having her use up a large amount of energy that she needs to now replenish, and did not even praise her verbally for her efforts for you, on your behalf, before that." At this point, Blue turned in place and opened up the fridge, starting to pull out several foodstuffs, setting them down onto the counter.
"Miz used to be human in the first life that she can remember; she is currently in a human-like vessel right now; you are trying to teach her 'good' human-like behaviors. -Humans associate the general outcomes of events with their actions during that event, because that is how human brains 'work'; it takes great effort for you all to 'rationalize' that an outcome stems from a potentially-different source, rather than your most-recent actions. However, even when this occurs, negativity is still associated with that initial event." His tone took on a bit of a nasty, angry edge to it. "And she is old enough, despite how her vessel currently looks, for both 'positive reinforcement' and 'negative reinforcement' to be 'a thing'. -I shouldn't have to explain this to you!" Blue tossed out at them next, rather harshly. "-If you wanted her to 'be good' and 'do good' things like this for you in the future, you have now FAILED at this COMPLETELY. -She may still decide to do something for you later-still, but now she will be FAR less-than-inclined to talk to you or even tell you anything-at-all about it, because of how you reacted to her today, so very negatively and without any proper praise immediately after she had done something 'good' for you."
Blue finished pulling things out of the fridge, slammed the door shut, and then started yanking things out of the nearest cupboard next.
"-If what you wanted to do was have her 'be good', and NOT associate such negativity with her 'good' actions and 'good' deeds," Blue continued on telling them. "Then you should have asked my Sixer to leave the room instead of her, I would have followed him out, and then you could then tell her verbally about what you did not like that she just did, as we left. Sixer would not have been hearing her, she would not have been able to continue to do the 'bad' behavior that you did not like, and the loss of my presence would have been seen by her as a sufficient enough deterrent for her to think about doing the same thing to him again in the future. It would also be consistent in what would happen in any other case, with what I would do and how I would respond in the future, when visiting with him, if she starts acting that way in his presence again. -And you could have then praised her for what she did that was 'good', and finished feeding her breakfast, and given her a chance to 'feel sorry' about the things that she did do wrong there later."
"NOW," Blue said, 'scooping up' everything he had grabbed out of the fridge and various cupboards, "I am going to go to her with more of all of the food, for both her and myself, and finish eating breakfast with her, because I have not eaten yet either, and you should all be down on your knees THANKING my Sixer for gifting me the idea of my eating things between meals, because if I hadn't eaten some crackers before breakfast earlier, I would be yelling at all of you, and doing much worse things than educating you on all this, right now," Blue ended rather tersely, still on a very testy note.
Blue turned to walk out and away past the fridge with his 'ill-gotten' gains 'scooped up' and floating in the air behind him, defying gravity like it wasn't even there-
-and the other Ford slapped his hand up against the front of the fridge, barring his way with his arm and glowering down at him as he got in Blue's way, staring him down straight in the face.
Seb leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I get what you mean Blue, but still…" He glanced over at the older Ford. "She was clearing taunting older Ford."
"...I'll bring her some more plates of omelettes too." Wanda sighed. "I will also be talking to her about taunting Ford like that. In case she doesn't understand that, that was why she's being punished." She looked over at Ford. "She should know she shouldn't be doing that." She piled up Miz's abandoned plate with several stacks of food before walking off.
"It's not just the explaining," Blue complained at her testily. "I told you. It's your handling of the entire general event, and the connotations and connections that will generate-"
"-When did Stan have this conversation with you," the other Ford said next, almost under his breath, and Blue quieted. "Because what you just said doesn't sound like you, that sounds like him when he's talking about you."
"Just because I'm using his words for the concepts, now that you humans seemed to have gained a little more nuance in your stupid 'modern' American English language when it comes to describing these-things finally, doesn't mean I can't comprehend YOUR 'flat' morality that I REFUSE to let myself be constrained by, you-!" Blue almost bristled, then lidded his eyes slightly (Cipher-eye still flickering) and seemed to breathe and force himself to calm down.
"You didn't praise her before yourself, either," the other Ford said next, not moving yet. "You were taking far too long trying to look at everything, Bill," the other Ford said (while bracing himself for what would almost certainly happen next). "You don't think she did it 'properly' yourself."
Blue's eyes widened a bit, and his pupils went cat's eye narrow. He opened his mouth, but Sebastian interrupted him with, "Look, can we not do the blame game?" Seb deadpanned at them. "Let's just go with, 'we all fucked up and need to be more mindful of Miz's feelings on this type of matter in the future'?"
"She still hasn't told anyone where it is yet, she admits there's a perception filter on it currently that no-one else can get through," except Bill, clearly, "Bill says that there's only enough food and other supplies there currently for two weeks at the soonest, one month at the most, and not only was she apparently capable of shifting massive amounts of people on a large scale from multiple locations in an instant, but she could do so just as easily again in the future," the older Ford said with no inflection to his tone, while continue to stare down Bill Cipher. "Even if she set things up in a safe manner for now, she will be feeding on their ever-growing fear in two week's time, as they slowly starve to death on that island. And even if she gives you all access to the island and cedes control of it to you for now, there is nothing stopping that man-eater from displacing whoever she wants to a new perception filter hidden island in the future, without any of those supplies of food and water, or shelter, and without letting you all know the next time she does it, again." The older Ford straightened in place. "Isn't that right, Bill."
"Miz would never let anyone starve to death." Sixer snapped. "Even if she has to feed them herself- she refuses to let people starve-" Stan patted his shoulder, "Cool it, Sixer." He remembered how Miz had literally teleported ground-up food into his brother's stomach when he refused to eat, while he was clearly hungry.
Blue was stationary in the face of the older Ford's accusations. Stationary, silent, and staring back at him with those wide-open, cat-slitted eyes.
"Isn't that right, Bill." The other Ford repeated, at the triangle demon's continued silence.
"Technically, yes." Blue responded finally, not letting up on his gaze. But then he continued with, "I have never told you to not be wary of those with more power than you, who can do you harm. I let you do that. I have never tried to stop you."
The other Ford's posture seemed to ease into a different sort of tension then. One that was more stable, seeming to be differently - more strongly and more firmly - braced. (Because Bill hadn't been lying, and he'd even confirmed what he'd been saying to the rest of them here.)
"What did you find so objectionable to what she did with…" the other Ford trailed off, then blinked at what he was saying.
And then the older Ford slowly said next, staring down at him still, "...Why am I asking you this? You don't care about…" children dying. Because if he had, then he wouldn't have- "You were going to kill Dipper and Mabel during Weirdmageddon." He frowned, and then his frown deepened. "You-" even threatened Mabel with Dipper's death after Bill had possessed him during her sock-puppet opera. And Dipper and Mabel had also told him recently about that note Bill had left in the car for Mabel to find, and what Bill had said about that when the niblings had confronted him on it at the boat several weeks ago in that other dimension...
"...Do all Bills threaten to kill us to blackmail our uncles?" Mabel wondered. "Miz hasn't." Dipper shrugged. "But from what she's said, her own Zodiac isn't even gathered yet."
"Miz has a set of 'flat-ish' morals. Like you." Bill said it to his Ford very evenly. Too evenly. (Bill did not want his little sister upset with him.)
The other Ford stiffened in place at this, looking significantly more tense all at once.
"Move," said Bill, and the other Ford swayed backwards quickly, before catching himself and pushing himself back into place, bracing his arm against the front of the fridge again.
"You-" the other Ford began.
"I need to eat, she needs to eat; if you want to follow, I'll put up a perception filter for sound so that you can't hear us talking, but can see what we're doing." Blue leaned forward and got right up in his face. "You WON'T get a 'better' offer out of me on this than that. 'Quit while you're ahead.'"
The other Ford straightened in place to his full height, almost rearing back at this. Because he remembered what Stan had told him out on the porch, and he remembered what had happened after, and Bill had said that with an almost Jersey drawl.
Ford did not like this at all.
But Ford stared down at Bill, with no expression whatsoever on his face...
...and then Ford slowly dropped his arm and stood to the side, letting Bill pass by.
(He wasn't giving in. He was doing the opposite of what Bill thought he was going to do, as he'd told Stan that he would do sometimes. He was being strategic-)
(He was more than a little freaked out at exactly how much Bill Cipher had sounded like Stan Pines just then, and doing his damndest not to show it.)
Blue let out a huff.
And then Blue stomped forward and past him, a triangle on a mission.
The other Ford followed. (Not too closely, as the 'cloud' of foodstuffs and items floating behind Bill did that more closely instead.)
And Wanda was already out of the kitchen by then and trying to find which room Miz was in, having slipped out unnoticed by those two while their bickering staredown was still going on.
