Tainted Innocence

Chapter #36


"You always claimed that God didn't exist."

Mei turned around. Her red irises and flowing silver hair looked to the glowing figure in front of her - it almost seemed like she was talking to a glowing ball. In the vast whiteness of the space she was in, it almost seemed brighter than the pureness of the colour white.

She kept silent, not denying the fact. She's said it on multiple occasions before, because she was incredibly angry and spiteful of the things that God's creations - Innocence and Noah - had put her and many other people through.

"Was it fun, watching all this from the sidelines?" Mei asked, her brows raising and slanting downwards as her voice barely cracked. "Was it like a theatre play to you?" She kept her emotions in check for the moment as she wanted to hear Him out.

God didn't give a response to that comment.

"Is this why I was given the power of Seraphim?" Mei's lips quivered, "So that I can destroy all this? Destroy your creations, whether they were mistakes or not?"

She continued, "Is this why I wasn't able to become a Fallen One? Because you put all your hopes onto me so that I could undo what you started?!" Her voice had become higher and louder each time she spoke a sentence, her several thousand years of anger on the brink of exploding.

"...I won't deny that fact," God started. "I knew you would be able to do it, for the sake of the world and for salvation."

"Knew I would be able to do it…?" Mei nearly froze on her spot. Her hands clenched into fists, "Is reincarnating several hundred times and dying several hundred times in gruesome ways something that came along with it?" She spoke in a low whisper. "Is making someone who served you, suffer so much, salvation?!"

God knew that Mei had suffered through all the times that she lived and died. They were aware of all the acts that were going on in the world due to their creations, whether fortune or misfortune, but they were not able to directly interfere with the inhabitants, except for one time.

However, the time from when the Noah memory was born and Mei lived her original life, God had bestowed power upon individuals that would be able to use Innocence, to take down the Noah that were created as a means of transferring power directly into individuals to help save inhabitants.

The Noah's powers were a little earlier than Innocence, but God realised that the powers given to the Noah weren't the ones he had in mind, so he needed something to counter it.

That something was Innocence.

Of course, He created Seraphim and Apocryphos too, however, they balanced each other out and kept each other in check. That's why Apocryphos was blessed with a body immortal to nearly everything except for Innocence and Noah powers, and Seraphim, the fire of purification.

Though, there were some implications there.

On an average scale, the Innocence's abilities were not able to harm Apocryphos, except for when the most advanced and powerful forms have been awakened. For instance, Seraphim's form and usage of the fire of purification would be able to hurt Apocryphos, however in its normal form, it would not be able to.

"...Mei, my apologies." God was willing to express his sadness that one of His greatest creations had become like this. No one deserves to go through such suffering, and due to the creation of such beings, it has brought much suffering to the people.

Mei pressed her lips together into a tight frown. She glared at the glowing ball, but eventually resigned with a sigh.

Everything had already happened. Her anger wasn't going to just sizzle out like that, but it would start diminishing. What was the use of getting angry about it?

Even after death, it was a waste.

"If you're so apologetic, just make sure Sin doesn't die." Mei spoke her words authoritatively, almost like she was the commander of an army.

If God had a face, He would be raising an eyebrow with a surprised expression. "Do you know how it works? Seraphim?" Mei didn't question the change of topic just yet and went with the flow.

"Yeah, I do." There were records left lying around, but who knows who wrote them. All it described were the conditions that led her to where she was now and the extra info for that cause. "Were you the one who wrote the records of Seraphim and allowed me to find it?"

God neither agreed nor disagreed, but the air let Mei know that it was indeed the case.

"Did you have this planned from the beginning as well?" She questioned. She was past the point of being angry at God, knowing that she was speaking to Him now. But, thousands of years' worth of anger won't just disappear in the blink of an eye. Depending on what He says, she would either forgive or not forgive.

"You know me well."

"Of course I do, you used to speak to me a lot."

"It was a lovely time."

"When did you plan this? Did you know that Joyd and I…?"

"No, I didn't."

Mei's brows rose in surprise. He, who normally knew everything, didn't know that would happen.

"I only thought up of that plan after I realised that you held feelings for that man."

"What a grand plan you had there." Her voice laced with sarcasm, "But, tell me, why did it say that I had to kill the physical body in order to rid the world of Innocence and Noah powers?" She didn't want to be steered off from the topic and wanted an answer.

After all, He was the only one who would be able to provide an answer to her questions.

"It was for this very moment."

"This moment?"

"Yes. As you know, Seraphim was made especially for you to weld." His tone was gentle. "Your previous accommodators were strong, strong enough to withstand this Innocence. However, as they were not you or of your bloodline, they were not able to harness its full power."

Mei's brows rose. She had an inkling this was the case as Sin used the Innocence better than most of her accommodators and didn't suffer from the repercussions as badly as they had.

"Are you saying it's only possible for the fire of purification to be activated and used by someone of my blood?" Mei articulated her words carefully. All the evidence could point to this conclusion.

"That's right. That's why you could only enact your revenge now, many thousands of years later."

"No wonder," She clicked her tongue, "I always wondered why I would be forced to keep dying. Those dreams, it detailed nearly everything. Is that your way of telling me to prepare for that moment?"

Lovely. So everything was planned from the start - I'm just a puppet, aren't I?

She wanted to laugh. It was such a funny situation - she always thought she was in control of her life, yet nearly everything was predetermined.

"Not everything followed according to plan. There were changes that were made because of you." He seemed to have a hint of amusement in his voice. "Sin gained an ally, someone who made sure she was never alone; and that made everything change."

Mei pressed her lips together when she thought of her host and blood descendant.

All the things she put her through - it was all because of Seraphim and her grudge against God, the Noah and Innocence.

"Don't call me Sin's ally. I was never like that to her." Mei shook her head. "I was using her for my own benefit. You can't call that an ally."

"You also haven't answered my question. Why did I have to stab my host's body with Seraphim? What good does that do? Doesn't that stop the process of purification?"

God stayed silent for a moment.

Mei frowned, impatience in her voice. "Answer me."

"It is so that you don't disappear without saying goodbye to her."

"Huh?" Mei's lips parted, surprised at His words. "Wha...what do you mean?"

"It's exactly as I've said," His voice held a hint of sadness, "As I've planned it out from the start, it is obvious that I would know what would inevitably happen. As the fire of purification could only be used by those of your blood, this was the only choice.

"For you to stab the host's body was the only way for it to slow down the process of purification."

"Are you saying it was done on purpose just so that I could have time to say goodbye to my own kin?" Her voice held astonishment.

"That's right. I'm sure you have many things to tell her."

Mei laughed at that statement, holding her stomach as she couldn't contain herself.

It was funny - that He would be the one to say this.

What was he? The God of Death?

Is He telling her that it would be the last words for both? He never refuted that the host wouldn't die due to this!

Mei stopped laughing abruptly, her expression having gone stoic, bordering scary.

"I don't care whether I have to destroy my soul for this - if she forgets everything about me, or whatever happens, she needs to live." Her words were forceful, on edge and a statement. The weight behind her words were reflected in her tone, which sounded almost like a warning.

"Make sure she lives. She needs to live. She hasn't done anything wrong. She wasn't even in control of her body." The more she spoke, the more her voice shook.

If God had made it so that she would die, she would die. Did she think that He would just change someone else's fate so easily just because someone wished for it?

Wishful, selfish thinking.

"You're misunderstanding something."

"What?" A sharp inhale of breath.

God seemed to laugh at Mei's reaction, "It is rare that you show such emotion. It has been a while."

"What are you on about?" Mei shook her head.

"Your host is another issue, but right now, this time is also for yourself."

To Mei, it sounded as if He was smiling at her.

She didn't understand why.

Her anger subsided and was replaced with confusion.

"For myself?"

What?

"Yes."

"How does stabbing one's host bring me more time?" Mei squinted, suspicious about what He meant.

"Let's reconnect bonds and not leave on bad terms, shall we?"

"Reconnect bonds?" Mei raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," A pause, "Aelius, you can come out now."

Aelius?

Mei's lips parted when she heard that name. Instantly, her features scrunched up into one of disgust, wondering why the other one was there too.

"What, is he going to kill me in the afterlife too?" Mei remarked with a sneer. She hadn't forgotten about all the times that he'd killed her over the course of the millennia.

As if he came out of thin air, Aelius appeared in front of Mei. He looked awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze.

"Oh? You're back to your original form." Mei couldn't help but comment.

The current form that he was in was exactly the same as when she was alive. It was vastly different to the one from when he had infiltrated the Order and worked as cardinal.

Of course, Apocryphos' looks were different then too, and didn't make him some form of weird bald humanoid being.

Blue eyes and short blonde hair, long eyelashes and a bright smile, was what Aelius' former appearance was. He was a good looking, confident and intelligent man.

Did he change his features so that he wasn't reminded of the past every time he looked at himself? She wondered.

"Wow, to think that living for so long made you look completely different to what you looked originally." Mei sighed, releasing the tension in her face. In his current state, she just couldn't get angry at him for a long period of time.

"Mei, I," Aelius began, his eyes matching hers. He couldn't hold the eye contact so he averted his gaze to the side, his teeth clenched, lips squeezed in a line. He didn't speak for a good amount of time, trying to organise his thoughts.

Funnily, God didn't say a word, even though they knew He was in the space.

"Alright, then." Mei clapped her hands together with a light exhale. "What's done is done, Aelius."

She knew what He wanted. For them to reconcile and mend their broken relationship. Of course, they were good friends before, but it might be a little different now with all they've been through. But still, knowing Him, He didn't wish for them to still be at odds with each other even after death.

Truth be told, Mei didn't hate Aelius. She hated Apocryphos after what he had become. But there was still a part that treasured him as a friend, and it seemed that that was the person who had appeared before her.

Or, at least the appearance of.

"So, spill it. What did you want to say?" Mei crossed her arms, awaiting his answer.

Aelius fiddled with his thumbs, gnawing at his bottom lip. "I'm sorry…" His words came out like a whisper.

"Thanks." Mei spoke her words emptily, like she had heard enough apologies in her lifetime.

Aelius' head whipped up, his eyes meeting hers. How could she just dismiss an apology like that? There was a light stabbing feeling in his chest, but once he had looked up to see Mei's bright eyes, it stopped.

"You're finally looking at me."

"Huh?"

"Aelius, I understand what both of us went through and that's how it ended up the way it ended up, so let's just calmly talk about this without being all fidgety ok? That doesn't suit you." Mei grinned at him.

She didn't want to admit it, but seeing his original face made her nostalgic about the past, and much happier than when she got her revenge.

"Let's talk a little bit, shall we?"


Wisely had left the room he was normally in. He started to wander around, and found that he hadn't visited Sin in a while. She was still recuperating, and has yet to awaken.

As his steps made light noises on the ground, he found himself at the infirmary door, where she had a special room.

He slipped in, finding nobody inside.

I thought Tyki was supposed to be here? Did he leave?

Wisely stood by the bed's side, watching the steady breathing of the former Innocence user. Gamako croaked and slapped its digits down on his head.

The former Noah ignored his frog. He could hear a faint ring of laughter, making him wonder if Sin was dreaming about something. He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. The temperature of her skin was normal, but after a couple of seconds passed, vivid memories flashed into his mind.

They weren't his memories, but rather Mei's. It held her thoughts, her actions, and everything that she had seen. It flashed through Wisely's mind so fast and so sudden that he stumbled and fell on his bottom, his body trembling at the intense feelings that the woman held.

"What…" He managed to croak out, feeling his vision blur. He felt like he was on the verge of tears.

He hadn't seen something like this in a long time.

But why now?

He shook his head, sniffing, wondering if it meant anything. He got back up, wanting to see if he could see anything else. With the same action as before, he waited for another vision.

This time, he did get one, but it was different. He saw Mei and someone else talking - he recognised the face - he was someone he hadn't seen in a very long time. It was Aelius, Apocryphos' original face.

What's this? Is this not from Mei's point of view?

He was confused. He sniffed again and wiped his nose with his sleeve, hearing the words they spoke.

As he heard them speak, he felt the interjection of memories that he had mulled over for the past months, coming into him more vividly than he remembered and from a different perspective.

"Ah…" Wisely felt his chest clench at each thing they talked about, each memory that was happy, painful or sad.

Then finally, after being shown a vision in which Mei begged for Sin to live, did he start sobbing uncontrollably.

He could only choke on his tears. It was sad. It was such a sad story, intertwined deeply in the roots of Innocence and Noah history.

Was it a blessing or a curse that the specific Innocence, Seraphim, was not given the ability to become a Fallen One? Did God oversee this, knowing exactly how things would turn out?

He wouldn't know.

He wouldn't ever know.

The only one who would know is Him, but would he be willing to just give out answers, however cruel they may be?


Wisely visited Sin every day after that. He was sure that there was something in her mind that was showing these images to him, but he wasn't sure if it was Sin herself projecting these, or if it was Mei, or another force.

"Well, I guess it's more comfortable to be here than do nothing in that room all day." He mumbled to himself. The only other time he'd be out is if someone different visited, otherwise he'd just be chilling all day.

Tyki was surprised when he found Wisely coming daily, just like he did. He wondered what was with the change in demeanour.

"Got bored in the room." Was the smaller man's response.

Not believing him at all, Tyki didn't even bother to argue. He had actually come back from his visiting his other friends as per Wisely's suggestion. They were surprised that Tyki was there and asked if he had heard from Sin, in which he had to lie through his teeth that he didn't know where she was and hadn't heard from her. He felt guilty, but it was best that they didn't know what was going on.

"How is she?" Tyki asked.

"As usual." Was Wisely's short response.

There really wasn't anything that changed; maybe the rosy colour of her cheeks came back, but it might just be his eyes playing tricks on him since he's been there for a while.

He sat down on the side, with Tyki taking the other. Wisely could barely hear Tyki's inner voice, however if he tried hard enough, he could.

It's diminished further…I find it even harder to hear the thoughts of others, the former Noah noted at the back of his mind.

And as usual, the days passed like this.

Tears slipped from her closed eyes, rolling down the side of her face and into her hair. Seeing something like this made the Portugese man surprised - nothing had happened the whole time she was asleep - not even a murmur. Yet, this time, she was crying.

But why?

Tyki wiped her tears with the back of his fingers, but since the tears kept falling, he eventually left it and dabbed at it with a tissue instead.

He was the only one there, as Wisely had gone to get something to eat for them both.

After wiping the tears, he caressed her cheek with his fingers, wondering what she was thinking about that made her cry. He pressed the back of his hand on her forehead, but there was nothing wrong with her temperature.

Taking his hand back, he discarded the tissue at a nearby bin, and when he turned his attention back to the sleeping woman, he instead saw eyes staring back at him.

She was finally awake.