Chapter 35: The Emerald Potion
Petunia insisted on bubblehead charms (or gasmasks) for anyone entering the room after Damocles passed out the first day from the amount of fear Petunia concentrated into the potion. She had a general idea of what the Dark Lord wanted from her.
They had taken a trip, if one could call it that, to the cave where he wanted the potion placed. The vessel for the potion was already in place and so was the plumbing to draw water from an Inferni infested water source.
She had bottled a milk jug full of the water for the testing rounds.
The potion itself was simple to make. There were no lunar cycles to follow. Just the slow process of extraction, purification and finally testing. It took weeks to extract the fear from the fabric. In those weeks Lily had come back from Hogwarts for the summer and Petunia refused to go home for anything more other than to give her mom the portion of her paycheck that she hadn't planned on using.
Lily was busy as well; she had picked up almost every job on offer and took over the soaps and lotions Eileen would have made over the summer. Lily moved out of their childhood home, choosing to spend the time with Tobias at Spinner's End. Severus hadn't come back to Cokesworth and Petunia knew this because Damocles had asked the house-elf to clean out the last spare room that was open. Severus would begin his apprenticeship with Damocles over the summer, as Petunia's was reaching an end.
Petunia had not spoken to Jean or done anything apart from work. She tried to hide the fact that she may be having a Dreamless Sleep addiction, but without the potion, sleep was hard to come by and even more difficult was sleep without nightmares. It was just a side effect of all the kinds of magic that they had used. She had no idea how to cope without it anymore and that showed when she refused to go to sleep at night because of all the things she had seen.
There was no grace in the process as they collected the last bit of fear and Petunia dropped a bag of her blood into it. The potion turned immediately into a joyful Emerald when mixed with a jug of Inferni water, the colour made Petunia sick. She had only used a drop of the potion. While the potion itself would not be able to kill muggles, it did make them ill and when she took a sip, immediately she wretched it up and vomited into the bucket. A Death Eater was forced to test the rest and Petunia watched with an unhealthy fascination as he was forced himself to finish it. The taste was glorious, burned down a person's throat and then the fear started to build.
God, she was a terrible person for it. For putting someone through this, but at least it was done, with whatever he wanted to do with it. Petunia tried to be angry as she packed up her room when the potion was done. Honestly, she was kind of relieved. It was best not to ask what the potion was for and even if she had lived in the Belby Cottage for most of the year, the area around it still wasn't home.
Summer was over and she had felt a twinge of regret for using it the way she had and for wasting it on a potion. Damocles had asked what she wanted to name it, when an underground potion journal, shared only by those who believed in the purity of magic asked. Under P. Evans, the publication released into the world "The Emerald Potion" also known as the "Drink of Despair". A potion that could only be created under the most specific circumstances.
It was the last week of the summer when the trials came back for the Wolfbane potion. They were getting ready to drop the potion in the cove where the Dark Lord had wanted it. The stamp of approval followed by the following month's potion journal. Petunia hugged Damocles as he screamed in victory. It proved that the Veritaserum had not been a fluke and Damocles was the real thing. He was the next great Potion Master and Petunia grinned at the pride.
They sobered up quickly as they apparated to the edge of the cove. Where the Inferni threatened to drag them down. The potion would work as long as Petunia was alive. It was a caveat that Petunia had created for her own safety. They poured the potion into the Inferni lake and watched the lake turn emerald green. Had it not looked so eerie Petunia would have fallen in love with the colour. There were a bunch of plants filtering the water to make sure the potion did not reach further than the cove and remained concentrated to where the tiny island, with a single marble basin stood.
They took a long way home that night. Apparating to the edge of the village and walking to the rest of the way home. Petunia stopped at the local corner shop and walked out with a new pack of cigarettes, a book of matches and toffee for Damocles who waited outside.
Vernon was there next to Damocles, sizing the other man up. Petunia would have laughed had she not really feared for Vernon's safety. She didn't have it in her to deal with Vernon. Not today after a day of Dark Arts and Inferni. She just wanted to sleep or listen to records with Damocles and enjoy not looking at different cauldrons of potions or working on arithmetic formulas.
Vernon was talking with the booming, self-important voice that he used on most people. She stayed in the shadow until he walked away and only when he stopped looking back did Petunia come out of the store.
"What did he want from you?" Petunia asked dropping the toffee into Damocles's hands before lighting a cigarette for herself. He said nothing as they continued walking towards Belby Cottage.
Damocles wasn't the kind of person who refused to talk about how much Vernon annoyed him. Like most of the men, Petunia had dated in the short time Damocles was in her life, he had, had an opinion on every one of them. Mostly about how it wasn't proper for Petunia to casually hook-up. But usually, it was on the topic of why the people she did write letters to where terrible people.
Damocles reaction seemed to burst out loudly as they sat in front of the fire. Out of habit more than the cold.
It took a moment as if he was trying to find the words before giving up completely. "He's going to propose to you soon and told me to back off. He has a ring and everything. Not a family heirloom, something new, shiny and not you."
Petunia although surprised said nothing and lit another cigarette as soon as she stubbed the previous one out.
"He doesn't love you. God, he doesn't even love the idea of you!"
Petunia wanted to defend Vernon. She really did, but the bruise he had left last week whispered otherwise. "It's easier like this." As if that was the best option.
Petunia was leaving it all for a man and that wouldn't sit well with anyone. "Besides I've done everything you've asked. I can't do more than this."
She really couldn't. She was exhausted, but not in all the ways she usually described the word. Magic was taking a lot out of her. Trying to keep up and sustain it. She lost entire futures over it and she had lost herself in the high until it had become all she was worth for.
Maybe Vernon would be a good thing. That was the lie she was telling herself. He picked the ring, a gaudy homage to money and power. She looked at her hands as Damocles kept yelling at her to see some kind of sense.
"I need you here."
"And I need to be far away from here. You don't like me. Remember, you chose to serve the Dark Lord. You bound me to him and to his cause that goes against my very being. Don't you forget that Damocles Belby?"
Her voice had started controlled and then with all the rage she had yelled. She cursed Eileen for giving her potions and then leaving her. Too much, she had said too much and somehow it felt like she hadn't said enough at all when it came to expressing how she felt. It was the game she was playing with herself and everyone else. Like she knew better and was smarter than she actually was.
"You don't know a thing."
It was irrational and stupid, so stupidly dangerous and Damocles pulled her into a hug. "You are a good enough person Evans, promise."
Petunia shook her head and stayed still. Just breathing the air, the potions and most of all this kind of magic, was something she never wanted to leave. She had to leave with the last of her sanity. Because the history books would never know her name and that should have been enough for her.
God, it should've been, but ambition; as glorious as it was demanded more from her. Vernon was just a convenient excuse and damper to the dreams she wanted to live out. She wanted to go to school for engineering and learn all that there is to know about machines; then she wanted to come home and brew potions for hours on end.
Petunia wanted to drown in work that made her feel worthy. She wanted to dance around a room with Darren or drag Jean out to lunch. Petunia wanted to leave the Evans name behind and this stupidly heavy ring tied her down.
If Petunia was a better person, she would've never left the confines of Cokesworth and been content with just being that. Normal, as much as she craved it, didn't come easily to her. She was the girl mothers hid their sons from. All that she was trying to say was that she was in no way good by the standards of the world.
Those who had loved her for all of that; never forgot to remind her of the burden that came with her love. There was no victory song for people like her and it choked her up as she hugged Domacles tighter and pulled his body down onto the couch. Petunia had done this to so many people over the years, just held them as the emotions she could not process all at once ebbed away with touch.
Her mind spiralled down a number of thoughts that seemed to quieten down with the hands holding onto her shoulders. Petunia looked at the clock, she still had enough time to go out. To one of the very many places that Vernon wouldn't be caught dead in.
Spaces where she could dance with others just like her; or even hang out at one of the very many Knockturn Alley haunts. Then she would get her life together and return Vernon's ring and forget about him as easily as he forced his way into her life. It was either the panic that caused her to sleep or the Dreamless Sleep that tasted like fire whiskey.
Either way when Petunia woke up on the couch, feeling cold, empty and exhausted. She pulled off the blankets and went to fetch the paper in the morning. The muggle one that they got, just to keep informed about village happenings and the like. The Prophet flew in moments later.
She looked at the date on both papers and started with The Prophet. Hogwart's Head and Prefect announcements usually came with this edition of the Prophet and while Petunia wouldn't care, she knew that Lily was in the contending for the position of Head Girl. Petunia shot a quick prayer and opened the pages.
"Fuck." She scrambled off the couch, put on boots and grabbed spare change she kept exactly for this very reason. This was wrong, she had to convince Lily to let go of the position. Not because she didn't want her sister to succeed or to let her have nice things. But this was more than that. The political climate was exceptionally volatile and she had no idea the kind of game Dumbledore and the other teachers at Hogwart's were playing by giving this position to her sister.
The target on Lily's back had grown exponentially. Her hands felt steady as she waited for either Tobias or Lily to pick up the phone. This was too important to wait until she could go down to Cokesworth.
"Hello," Tobias's voice came through the phone. Slightly crackled and extremely tired.
"Hi, Mr Snape, has Lily left for work yet?"
There were shuffle and Petunia heard Tobias yell for Lily to come to take the phone.
"Petunia, what the hell is going on?" Lily asked.
Petunia tried to not think about what was actually going on in her life. She was sure that her explanation was starting to make sense to no one.
A/N: There are two more chapters left to this story. Would you like weekly posts for them or should I post again on Tuesday followed by Friday of this week?
