Trigger Warning: There are mentions of rape and extensive drug use in this chapter. There is an explanation of a persons drug addiction story and rape story. If this triggers you in anyway or makes you uncomfortable I suggest you not to read it
"How are we similar" asked Theo, confused as to what she meant.
"Well I used to be like you" she said taking a seat on the edge of his bed.
"What do you mean 'like me'?" Theo asked aggressively as if she had just slapped him in the face. Hannah only politely smiled in response, not caring about his tone.
"Well I used to do drugs. A lot during the war. It's something that I would turn to to use to cope. Let's just say that didn't work out to well" she chuckled to herself.
"What do you mean?" asked Theo.
"Can we be alone?" Hannah asked to Draco, Blaise, and I.
I nodded knowing that Hannah didn't want the whole world knowing her story, just the people that she wanted to help. I knew Hannah's story of course because she came to me after the war, wanting to break her drug habit.
"Are you sure?" asked Blaise being protective of one of his best mates.
Theo contemplated it for a second and then looking at Hannah who smiled softly and subtly nodded. Theo nodded in agreement as Blaise and Draco both shrugged and walked out the door.
"Just tell us when your done" Blaise said.
"And you protection!" yelled Draco which cause a string of chortles and giggles.
I waved at Theo and Hannah before closing the door and letting them talk by their selves. It was something that Theo needed, to learn other peoples stories. To know that there were survivors out there like him who had gone through the exact same shit he was currently going through.
"Do you know what they're talking about?" asked Blaise.
"Of course" I replied.
"Well what is it?"
"It's not my secret to say. If she wants to tell you than she can."
Hannah was still sitting on the edge of his bed while Theo sipped his tea uncomfortably. "So are you going to..."
"Well yes" she chuckled to herself. "Sorry sometimes it's just hard for me to say."
"Well just spit it out" Theo spat impatiently.
Hannah payed no attention to his horrible attitude to her, not caring enough and knowing that she should not let it get to her. This wasn't the first time she was rudely insulted and snarked at.
"When I was around 14 I started using drugs. Not just because of the war, but during the war my drug use did increase dramatically" she explained.
"Why at 14?" asked Theo.
"Be patient I'm getting there" she rolled her eyes playfully. "Well when I was 14 I was walking along the street in Diagon Alley. I had lost my mother and father, and couldn't find where they had went. I accidentally wandered into Knockturn Alley" she explained.
"Dumbarse" he muttered under his breath.
Hannah closed her eyes, reminding herself to patient with Theo. He didn't have an understanding of what happened yet so she knew that his insults didn't mean anything. They were empty.
"In Knockturn Alley I asked this man for help. I was 14 at the time, to young to know what a child predator was and what they looked like" she explained as Theo paled, immediately regretting his insult that he had thrown at her. "He told me that he had seen them and I naively followed him. He took be into an empty alley and he" she paused taking a deep breath, "he assaulted me and violated my body."
"Oh god" Theo whispered. "I'm so fucking sorry."
Hannah lowly chuckled. "It's okay-"
"No, I just fucking. I literally insulted you like two minutes ago and you pretend it's okay. If someone did that to me I would have probably bashed their face in the wall my now."
Hannah laughed at Theo who quirked his lip slightly. "I've gotten used to the insults when people don't want the help. Many people don't think they need help until the receive it."
Theo just nodded not knowing what right words to say. She was to sweet and forgiving for her own good. Hannah decided that was her cue to continue on the story.
"After that I found my parents, pretended everything was okay, but on the inside I was so fucking scared" she said and Theo hadn't expected crude language from the Hufflepuff, "I didn't tell my parents, thinking they would be mad at me for some reason. God it was horrible. Then I saw this muggle boy, he was maybe about 20 years old and he was incredibly high. I'm pretty sure he thought I was a garden gnome."
Theo snorted at that. He admired the way she could talk about her own story like it was a cute tale. He admired how strong she was for being able to talk about it and using her own personal experiences to help other people. She was probably the most selfless person he had ever met.
"He offered me a cigarette, lighting it for me. I tried it for the first time and I loved it. I loved the feeling it gave me, like all my problems went away. No one in the world, no horrible people that rape young girls and it was just me."
Theo nodded in full understanding. He underwent through a similar transaction, the euphoric feeling of the drug in his veins and the spike it gave him. God, he remembered how good it all made him feel and how much he was starting to crave it all.
"That's when I first got into smoking. It was light at first, but I began to have nightmares. It was the same guy in the same alley, assaulting me and violating me. They happened frequently, every night, so I always had a pack of cigarettes on hand with me. I smoked a whole pack in a day once" she shook her head at the memory.
"The nightmares were only getting worse. No amount of drugs could stop the nightmares from happening so I would wake up in my bed screaming or crying. Gods it was horrible. One day the nightmare changed. It was the same guy, same alley, but my parents were there. They were watching me get assaulted and not doing a thing about it. They stood their watching their 14 year old daughter get raped by an older man and stood their laughing at me."
Theo wiped a stray tear on her cheek as she tried to blink her tears away. She gave a weak laugh, "I'm sorry I don't know whats wrong with me."
"It's okay" Theo said softly. "Come here" he patted the spot next to him on his bed. She crawled onto his bed, kicking her shoes off and sinking into the spot.
"It's okay to cry" Theo cooed.
God, some part of him was attacking him for being a sap, but he couldn't just let the brave witch sitting in front of him cry about her situation with absolutely no comfort at all.
Hannah hadn't expected for Theo to be so welcoming to a Hufflepuff. She half expected her to be kicked out of his room, but she guess the rumors were all true. All- if not most Slytherins were over their house pride.
"I began to learn more about other drugs like cocaine, meth, and weed, and these are muggle drugs. That was only the beginning because when I looked into wizarding drugs it was like I had just won the lottery. I stopped coming home for Christmas vacation and Easter break. When I came home during the summers I was so distant from my parents. Wizarding drugs are so much more powerful than muggle ones, you should know."
He did now. He remembered the rush that dried gillyweed gave him. He knew it was the most difficult to obtain so he always saved it all for himself. He never sold dried gillyweed, but any other wizarding or muggle drug.
"Gillyweed" she said, "that one was my favorite. It was so powerful and overall gave me the best feeling. And let me tell you, I tried a lot of different ones. It sometimes made me hallucinate, the world was all puppies and unicorns. I would just let myself fall and just watch the horrible world around me transform into something that was so much more livable."
"I know the exact feeling. We think pretty alike Abbott" he commented, making her chuckled. She sniffled again, wiping another tear. Theo was a fantastic comforter and she hadn't had anyone quite like him. Someone so similar to her to many ways and the fact that they just clicked.
"Then the war happened. I had just begun to use drugs less and less, but then the war happened. My father got fucking slaughtered by death eaters. My mother and I went into hiding while they hunted for us. It got so bad. I had injections or a cigarette almost every hour. My mother was crumbling without our father and we just weren't as close anymore. It was so horrible that I turned to drugs as my only true friend throughout the war."
"The same thing happened to me too, I guess" Theo said, feeling so comfortable talking to her and opening up. It wasn't the same with Adeleine because Adeleine was easy to talk to, but they didn't understand each other quite like him and Hannah did. They shared similar experiences and affected them similarly.
Hannah continued with her story. "We began to go into hiding with Neville and his grandmother because his grandmother was on the run. A diligent old woman she is" Hannah chuckled remembering Neville's spunky grandmother. "But my mother was getting worse and worse as time continued to pass. She got sick a little while after and died because we couldn't get treatment at Saint Mungos since it had been overrun by death eaters."
Theo hated himself so much in that moment, knowing that he was one of those death eaters that had over taken Saint Mungos. He remembered because he raided their pill cabinets, taking anything he could get to take the edge off and keep him in his world of bliss.
"That was what sent me over the edge. I overdosed like you" she said calmly, "thank gods Neville's grandmother was there and she knew a bit about healing. She couldn't save my mother so she said that she would at least save me, and she did. I owe her my life."
Hannah's face was streaming with tears as she wrapped her arms around Theo, hugging him and crying on his shoulder. Theo was definitely not used to this type of interaction and awkwardly hugged her back, patting it lightly.
She chuckled on his shoulder at his awkward comforting methods. She pulled away, red and puffy eyed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"No no it's okay" Theo said. "Look" he pointed to his shoulder, "it has your name on it."
Hannah gave a loud and happy laugh as she accepted his offer, leaning her head on his shoulder as she began to tell her story again.
"That's when I knew I needed to stop, but I couldn't. I physically couldn't. My body ached just being away from the drugs and it was the hardest process ever. I don't think I ever fully recovered and I think a part of me still wants the drugs to help me feel good, but I realized that I didn't need them. The overdose was my eye opener and showed me that the drugs were only killing me further."
"I look a look at myself in the mirror and saw the shell of the vibrant girl I used to be. My skin was almost grey and I was so frail. You could see my ribs from my stomach. I looked like death in itself" she described. "When the war was over and everybody was returning to school I saw out Adeleine. She helped me so much and I went to get real help."
Theo couldn't even imagine the girl he was looking at as the girl she described herself as. Hannah Abbott was a beautiful girl with honey blond hair and ivory skin. She was in no way the horrible gaunt woman that she described herself as in the story.
"I hate it so much at first. Just wanting to take myself out of treatment, but now looking back at it. It's so worth it. Now I get to live life, not wanting to ever look back. I'm so much happier now."
"Did you ever want to go back to drugs?" Theo asked.
Hannah nodded, "Yes absolutely, but I knew that I shouldn't. I remembered everything that got me where I am today and knowing I never want to go through that gruesome process ever again. It's horrible and I don't think I'm strong enough to do it all over again. The risks are just not worth the outcome."
"Your so strong Hannah" Theo said, really meaning it.
She chuckled, shaking her head. "I've heard that all my life Theo. I don't care, all I care about right now is helping you" she booped his nose.
"So where do we start?"
