Chapter Thirty-Seven

Several months had passed and a couple more scrolls had arrived, making a total of nine and proving Zuko's persistence. Katara still hadn't worked up the nerve to open and read any, but she had written tiny numbers on each one to keep the order correct as they shuffled in the trunk. Not much had changed from the first few weeks Katara had arrived in the South Pole. Mina still subtly rebuffed any of Katara's attempts to help with the healing or any births and eventually she stopped trying though it left her feeling unsettled that she wasn't healing. She taught a little bit of water bending, but Master Pakku was the primary teacher. Her father had a council of his peers and though he would occasionally indulge her by allowing her to lend a hand in politics, she was mostly excluded from that as well.

A quiet restlessness was settling over her the longer she stayed in the South Pole. She couldn't really complain, the village was doing well and thriving, regular trade had been established and the world seemed peaceful.

It was another day and Kima and Katara were idly shopping in the marketplace, chatting, and joking. Kima slyly and nonchalantly slipped in a question during their casual talk.

"So, what did those scrolls end up saying?" She asked as she fingered through several sea prunes at a merchant's stall. Katara shuffled along the booths, pretending she hadn't heard the comment. Kima had a nose for gossip and ever since Katara had told her about the scroll's existence, she had been dying to know what they contained.

When Katara stopped at a fish stall, Kima attached herself to Katara's arm. "Let's try this again since I know you heard me." Kima hissed in her ear, a sharp glint in her eyes. "What was written in those scrolls?"

Katara let out a loud sigh but couldn't help the tug at the corner of her mouth. "Kima…" She chastised. Kima had been remarkably patient all things considered, with her dire need for all things juicy. Kima had learned not to pry or push Katara too much, that she would come around in her own time.

"Oh, come on!" She whined. "I haven't asked since you showed them to me." She pouted.

Well, she could mostly refrain where Katara was involved.

Katara fiddled with the groceries already in her basket before shyly murmuring her answer. "…haven't read them…"

Kima's eyes widened, not sure she had heard correctly. "What?!" her grip tightened on her friend's arm, squeezing her uncomfortably tightly through her thick parka.

Katara rolled her eyes and let her defensive posture soften as her shoulders relaxed. "I haven't read them yet."

Kima's jaw dropped dramatically.

"You look like a frog-fish, close your mouth." Katara teased.

"Why?" Kima asked, looking lost and almost upset.

"You want to look like a frog-fish?"

"Not that!" Kima snapped, dragging her friend in the direction of their usual little café and away from the bustle of the marketplace. "Why haven't you read them yet?!" Kima gestured wildly in her dramatic fashion as she pulled them to a stop away from other people

"I don't know." Katara muttered, examining her basket again to avoid her friend's judgmental stare.

Katara closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts. There was no reason not to confide in Kima. It had been freeing to talk about things that only Zuko and herself knew about. There wasn't the same level of understanding but having an outsider's perspective had been helpful and she felt lighter, at least until the nightmares came for her.

Katara nodded her head towards the café they had stopped short of. "I need a hot drink." Kima nodded and followed her to their normal table in the corner where they ordered their usual pot of Jasmine tea. It wasn't until Katara was inhaling the familiar and soothing steam that she was ready to answer her friends' question. Such a simple question but such a complicated answer.

"I haven't read them because… because I didn't want to know if I made a mistake."

Kima waited quietly, sipping her tea, and waiting for her friend to elaborate.

"What am I doing here?" She muttered, putting her cup down, untouched, but kept her hands wrapped around the cup, staring at the amber liquid. "With Aang I was traveling the world and helping people. With Zuko, I was helping make policies and treaties and I was healing people that really needed help. Nobody needs my help here...

I left because Zuko's girlfriend came back. I'd already ruined my own relationship; I wasn't about to ruin his too. The letters… I'm scared of what they'll say. What if I ruined everything for nothing?"

Kima frowned. "Katara…" It took a long moment for her friend to meet her eyes. "Are you even happy here?"

Katara grimaced. "This is where my family is." She was toying with her cup and not meeting the other girls gaze again.

Kima set down her cup with a click of annoyance. "You know that's not what I meant."

Katara let out a long sigh. "I guess not." She frowned at her friend. "I feel like that's terrible to say. This is where my dad, brother and gran-gran are, but I feel like I should actually be doing something. It's frustrating, but maybe I'm being ungrateful?"

"Your time captured should have taught you better than anything else. Life is short, and it's precious, there's no point in wasting your life being unhappy."

Katara stared at her friend, stunned. "Where did that come from?" She asked absently, still mulling over the words.

Kima grinned and shrugged. "I have my moments!"

The girls finished their tea and discussed possible futures before parting ways as the sun started to set.

It had been a good day but sleep alluded Katara as her conversations from earlier replayed in her head over and over. She tossed and turned under her pile of furs, but she couldn't slow the thoughts racing through her mind. If she wasn't happy here, then what would she do? And where would she go?


Sarahplainntall here! Sorry that was such a short chapter, but groundwork must be laid before things can happen. Also, I know I'm awfully slow at posting new chapters (I blame working at a vet clinic and going to school to get my vet tech degree), so I am very grateful to each and every one of you that has taken the time to read, favorite and follow.

meanonymously (Guest): I absolutely adore you! Thank you so much for sticking with me for these three long years. Your reviews make me smile and keep me motivated, so thank you!

pukachujan19999: You are wonderful! Thank you so much for following my work and faithfully sending me reviews. I'm one of those big-headed fanfic fangirls that squees when they get a review. Dorky, I know, lol. Don't worry, we'll see what Zuko is up to soon! ; )