Warnings for this chapter: some more self-hatred, internalized hate, loss of self, unhealthy attitudes towards self-worth
"Inuyasha!"
He didn't know where the voice was coming from. Maybe it was all in his head. But it took hold of all his pain and anger and fear, narrowed it down to a singular point of focus. His eyes snapped open, and he snarled.
Ryukotsusei scoffed. "I see you're still hanging on. I'll end your misery."
Survive.
The dragon was slithering towards Inuyasha, his body moving across the valley floor, knocking aside the untransformed Tessaiga with disinterest. Miroku and Sango could feel the pulse of Inuyasha's youki all the way from Kirara's back. The sky darkened as storm clouds gathered. Miroku and Sango exchanged a worried glance – they needed to get Tessaiga back to Inuyasha.
"Inuyasha!"
Miroku.
Ryukotsusei reared back, almost right on top of him.
Kill.
He dug his claws into the ground. Pushed to his feet. Honed his gaze on the dragon. He growled.
"Your blood has awakened," Ryukotsusei grinned. "So be it. All the more entertaining."
Kill!
He raised his claws and crouched. He leapt. His claws caught the side of the dragon's neck. Ripped. Tore open flesh. Blood followed him through the air. Whet his tongue. He smirked. The dragon bellowed.
Inuyasha's youki was almost visible around him. His eyes were glowing red, the irises an electric blue and pupils narrowed to slits. His claws had grown longer and sharper. They'd torn through Ryukotsusei's hide like it was nothing. They had to stop him.
"If he fights like this, he may come out of this alive," Totosai said flatly from beside them.
"That's not living!" Sango snapped, gesturing at the salivating hanyou. "That's not him!"
Inuyasha was snarling as he leapt at Ryukotsusei, a speck less than half the size of the dragon's head. Yet he charged head-on, had no sign of fear. Even with Sesshomaru, he had held back, waited to test his opponent. This time, he dodged Ryukotsusei's snapping jaws, moving as though he was jumping from rock to rock rather than thin air, and sliced a long line down the dragon's neck. He landed lightly and laughed.
"Don't be so sure of yourself, little man," Ryukotsusei sneered, and light formed between his jaws.
Move.
The crackling ball of energy shot from the dragon's mouth and gouged deep into the earth. Ryukotsusei laughed in apparent success. Miroku and Sango had seen the red blur shoot into the sky. Ryukotsusei saw him as well as he dove down, claws outstretched, a wordless roar following him through the air. He struck the dragon with enough force to shove him back against the opposite cliff, sending a shower of rocks down into the valley. The long coils flailed in an attempt to keep him upright, and Sango could see the Tessaiga shifting beneath him.
"He's so powerful," she muttered, shaking her head.
"He might be able to kill Ryukotsusei," Miroku said quietly behind her.
She glanced at him over her shoulder. "We can't just sit back and watch. Even if he's winning…"
He grimaced. "No. We promised."
She looked back down as Ryukotsusei shifted amongst the rocks. "We need to find a way down there without either of them stopping us."
"Don't bother," Totosai grumbled sourly beside them. "Let's retreat."
"What?" Miroku and Sango asked in unison.
"Isn't it obvious?" the old demon asked. "Inuyasha has chosen to fight as a demon."
"He can't choose anything when he's like this!" Sango snapped, gesturing down at the cackling hanyou.
"He'd need to use Tessaiga against Ryukotsusei if he's to master the sword," Totosai continued.
"That's not what matters now!" Miroku almost shouted. "I don't give a damn about him mastering Tessaiga – only about getting him out of here alive!"
Tessaiga.
Another pulse of youki shot from the valley. They all looked down to where Inuyasha was walking along the ground, towards Ryukotsusei, slowly, purposefully. He wasn't laughing anymore. He wasn't even smiling. He almost looked like he was in pain. Each step was jolted and stiff. Ryukotsusei's head shifted, watching the hanyou carefully. Inuyasha didn't so much as glance at him, only continued on his path – to where Tessaiga lay on the ground.
"Do you see that?" Miroku gasped.
"Kirara, go!" Sango shouted. "We have to keep Ryukotsusei from attacking him!"
Kirara dove for the dragon, keeping just out of reach of his jaws. Sango reached into her robes and pulled out a vial of poison and threw it at the dragon. The lilac powder spread across his face, sizzling where it came into contact with the mask. Kirara landed on the cliff above him and tore some of the rocks from the ledge, sending them showering down onto him. Shippo threw his spinning top and a few jizo statues. Miroku threw his sutras. Ryukotsusei roared and his head thrashed back and forth.
"Surely that must have done something!" Sango said as Kirara passed back overhead.
Miroku frowned. "Yes, it made him mad."
Inuyasha took another halting step towards Tessaiga, hand outstretched. His breath came in ragged gasps as he blocked out the rest of the world. He could hear Ryukotsusei above him, hear the voices of his pack, and he knew if he focused on any of them he could lose himself. Tessaiga. Then he could fix everything. But first Tessaiga. The red was fading from his vision. His hand was shaking. The ground before him blurred, but he kept on walking. The sword pulsed, as though reaching out to his youki. His spirit settled a little in response. So close.
He was so close.
He wouldn't lose himself again.
Ryukotsusei whipped around, his eyes narrowing at the hanyou. "Impudence!"
Another attack formed in his jaws. Kirara twisted in the air and veered towards the dragon. Sango threw Hiraikostu. The ball of energy shot from Ryukotsusei's mouth, and Hiraikotsu struck his jaw and bounced off like a fly. Miroku's heart dropped.
"No!"
Light flooded the valley floor. They had to close their eyes against the immense glare. The sound of the impact ricocheted off the cliffs in a booming echo. When Miroku dared look, he could have cried with relief. A glowing half-circle lingered at the bottom of the valley, surrounded by scorched rock. Gradually the light faded to reveal Inuyasha, Tessaiga's sheath clenched in his hand. Amber sparks crackled along the wooden sheath.
"It's the barrier!" Shippo exclaimed, climbing over Miroku's shoulder to get a better look. "Just like with Hiten, remember?"
"It won't withstand a second attack," Totosai muttered as he and Mo-Mo flew closer. "That blast is too powerful."
Inuyasha had fallen to his knees, his claws digging gouges into the rock. His whole body was shaking violently, and his eyes were glowing red once more. They could see the struggle raging between his mind and his youki, how desperately he was clinging to control.
"Shippo, stay with them," Miroku ordered, picking the kit off his shoulder and tossing him over at the ox demon. "We need to draw him away from Inuyasha!"
"You're going to use the wind tunnel?" Sango asked sharply as Kirara took off towards the dragon.
Miroku ground his teeth and grasped the mala beads. "I don't know if I can suck him in, but we can at least distract him!"
Kirara dove first for the edge of the cliff where Hiraikotsu had struck into the rock. She braced against the side as Sango worked the weapon free. Miroku's hands were tight on her shoulders, and she felt his fingers squeeze in warning. He raised staff and began chanting, and a barrier formed around them as Ryukotsusei approached. The dragon struck hard enough to shatter the rock around them, his teeth gouging along the barrier, piercing through but not breaking it entirely, sending sparks flying along the surface. Miroku grunted but the barrier held. Sango ripped Hiraikotsu free and shouted for Kirara. Ryukotsusei was poised to strike again and they shot out of range, his teeth snapping shut just behind Kirara's tail.
Inuyasha's head snapped up.
No!
"How do we fight him?" Sango yelled back to Miroku over the rush of the wind as Kirara dodged to and fro, evading both jaws and grasping claws. They held on for dear life as she rolled in the air, her breath starting to come in harsh pants.
"His hide is too thick for Hiraikotsu," Miroku said, his eyes darting over the dragon's body. "We have to aim for the cuts that Inuyasha made!"
Sango drew her sword and angled it down as Kirara dove down towards Ryukotsusei's throat. She thrust the blade deep into the gouge made by hanyou claws, slicing through muscle and tendons. Ryukotsusei roared and pulled back, twisting his head around to snap at them.
"Has he got Tessaiga yet?" Sango asked breathlessly, clinging to Kirara's fur with her free hand as the twin-tail climbed higher into the sky.
Miroku glanced down, and his heart sank. Inuyasha hadn't moved. He crouched low to the ground, head down and shoulders hunched, shaking. Tessaiga lay just out of his reach.
Pack. His pack was in danger. Help. He couldn't. Tessaiga. Help them now! No! A whine turned into a growl. He couldn't stop it! He couldn't stop it!
"What's he waiting for?" Sango gasped.
Miroku turned to answer her. Instead, his eyes widened. "Look out!"
Ryukotsusei's tail whipped towards them. Kirara rolled to the side. The tail struck her along her flank, knocking both humans from her back. She yowled and dove for them. Sango instinctively caught a handful of Miroku's robe and yanked him towards her. His arm grasped her waist and the other flailed out with his staff. Kirara caught the fabric of his sleeve in her teeth and pulled, yanking them to the side. Sango used the momentum to snag onto her fur and hauled herself half-way up onto Kirara's shoulder. Miroku's hand braced against her back before dropping away, swinging back to be held by Kirara's jaws. He met the twin-tail's eyes, which were wide as her gaze darted between him and Ryukotsusei. As soon as Sango was situated, Kirara swung Miroku back at Sango, she caught him and hauled him back to his seat behind her.
And then a roar sounded from below them.
And it wasn't Ryukotsusei.
Inuyasha hurled himself at Ryukotsusei, caught the dragon's back, and ripped stripes down his flank. He was gnashing his teeth, the front of his robes quickly becoming stained with blood. He wasn't laughing. His ears were pinned back and his movements were increasingly erratic. Ryukotsusei flailed and writhed, trying to fling the hanyou from his body.
"What happened to Tessaiga?" Sango asked, eyes darting back to where the sword lay, abandoned.
"It's because we're in danger!" Miroku suddenly realized. "He's trying to protect us!"
"Shit," Sango swore, assessing the situation. "What can we do to get him back on track?"
"I don't know," Miroku shook his head. "Sango, he won't stay back if we're down there – he'll only keep on fighting. But I don't know if he'll be able to get back to Tessaiga on his own…"
"Do you think he'll listen to you?" she asked nervously. "We can try and lure him back while keeping our distance."
"We need to find some way to get Tessaiga to him!"
She grimaced. "You really think Ryukotsusei will let us get that close?"
Miroku's eyes darted back to Inuyasha as he bit into Ryukotsusei's throat. "You need to drop me off. I can reach him with the nenju – I can drag him to me if I have to – but we can't let Ryukotsusei follow after him."
"You want to go down there alone?" she asked incredulously as Kirara hovered in the air, unsure of where to go next.
"Put me on that far cliff," Miroku told her, gesturing at the ledge opposite Ryukotsusei.
"Alright," she said, sounding unconvinced. "We'll draw Ryukotsusei away if you can keep Inuyasha in the opposite direction."
He swung one leg off Kirara's back even as she approached and dropped down to the plateau. They took off, back towards Ryukotsusei, and Sango threw Hiraikotsu at the dragon's head. It struck him on the temple, still not breaking skin, but it distracted him for a moment. Miroku caught the nenju beads with his mind and pulled, hard. Inuyasha was dragged off of Ryukotsusei and landed hard on the ground. He spun around, his blood-red gaze locking onto Miroku.
Wait.
Miroku swallowed – he needed to get Inuyasha away from Ryukotsusei as quickly as possible, but he strongly suspected that dragging him back with the beads would only register as a threat. Regretfully, he pulled a sutra from his robes and, before he could think too much about it, threw it down at Inuyasha. The hanyou leapt back, closer to Ryukotsusei, and the paper struck the ground uselessly at his feet. Miroku grimaced – so much for that.
"Miroku!" a voice sounded, and then Myoga landed on his shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like?" Miroku snapped incredulously. "I need to get him to listen to me."
"You can't stay here!" the flea insisted, tugging on the collar of his robes. "Master Inuyasha might come after us!"
"That's the point!" Miroku hissed, pointedly ignoring what he knew Myoga meant.
"He's lost his sense of discrimination," he warned urgently. "He's lost his senses!"
"Then why is he still trying to protect us?" Miroku asked sharply, his voice rising. "Why did he try to reach Tessaiga? Myoga, you don't know what's going to happen any more than I do, but I do know that I'm not giving up on him!"
He ignored the loud protests in his ear and took a step closer to the edge of the cliff.
"Inuyasha!" he shouted down. "Inuyasha, listen to me!"
The hanyou froze, then slowly lifted his gaze back to Miroku.
"I need you here!" he tried, hoping that there was some recognition left of his words. "Please!"
Inuyasha's lip curled and he crouched, paused, and sprang forward a few steps. Away from Ryukotsusei. Miroku risked another tug on the nenju – much gentler this time – and Inuyasha's pace increased.
And then Ryukotsusei's hand caught Kirara and slammed her against the cliff face. She yowled in pain. Sango cried out in a mixture of shock and anger. Inuyasha's head snapped back around.
No!
"No!" Miroku shouted, and he was running. Along the top of the cliff, towards Ryukotsusei. If he couldn't keep Inuyasha away from the dragon, then he'd keep the dragon away from Inuyasha. Even if he couldn't suck Ryukotsusei into the wind tunnel, he could at least scare him off. Kirara was struggling against Ryukotsusei's grasp. Sango thrust her sword into the dragon's hand, but the tip of the blade snapped off. Inuyasha roared, raised a hand. Ryukotsusei's head swung around to stare down the hanyou. He widened his jaws and light pooled along his tongue.
Miroku was ripping the mala from his hand before Ryukotsusei loosed the blast. He braced himself along the cliff's edge and aimed the wind tunnel at the ball of energy. The edge of the void caught Ryukotsusei and the dragon shrieked and reared back, releasing the pair. They dropped down for a heart-stopping moment before Kirara righted herself and shot up, away from Ryukotsusei. Miroku's attention was focused solely on the blast as it careened towards Inuyasha. The hanyou hadn't moved. Neither had the blast – not enough, anyway. It was too strong! Even as the void gained momentum, and the glowing orb began to splinter, sending shards of energy spiralling up into Miroku's hand, he was barely pulling it off its course. Inuyasha was staring into the light. It struck the ground just a few paces to his right. Miroku sucked in a sharp breath as he wound the mala back over his hand – the full force of the wind tunnel, and the blast had barely moved!
Ryukotsusei rose into the air, locked his eyes on Miroku, and dove.
NO!
Inuyasha slammed into Ryukotsusei in the air, wrenched him off course. He clawed at his eyes, bit into the flesh of his face, a wild howl emanating from his throat. Blood poured down Ryukotsusei's neck as he grasped at the hanyou, trying to drag him off. Sango was shouting something above them, voice lost as the winds raged around them. A powerful storm was brewing. But then a bellow came from above them, Totosai raised his hammer, and a bolt of lightning shot from the sky. It struck the side of Ryukotsusei's head and Inuyasha instinctively leapt away to avoid being caught as well.
Before the dragon could recover, Kirara dove for him, biting at the wounds that Inuyasha had already created. Sango followed suit, digging her sword into the exposed flesh. Miroku tugged on the nenju beads once more but Inuyasha didn't look at him, his gaze fixed on the battle above. But he wasn't moving. He wasn't attacking.
Miroku took a deep breath and stepped off the edge of the cliff. It was barely more than a straight drop down, but he dug his staff against the rock to slow his fall. He caught himself on several larger boulders, forced himself to move slower than he would have liked. Breaking his neck would be counter-productive to his goal. He stumbled a little as he landed on the ground, pain lacing up his leg. Judging by the conspicuous absence of yelling in his ear, he guessed that Myoga had given up on him. Just as well. He wasn't exactly keeping himself out of danger. He ran for Tessaiga, keenly aware of Inuyasha's eyes on him. The hanyou was about half-way between him and Ryukotsusei. He looked torn.
He had to dig through the shattered rock to find where the sword was buried. As soon as he grasped the handle, he was running. Inuyasha was watching him, expression pinched, ears flat. Ryukotsusei was writhing, coming dangerously close to hitting the hanyou. He could tell the moment that Sango saw what he was doing, heard her shouting something at Totosai. Inuyasha was breathing raggedly again, one hand lifting awkwardly, almost tentatively. Tessaiga pulsed in Miroku's hands, and he could feel the youki around them shifting.
Tessaiga?
Miroku was almost to him when Inuyasha's eyes snapped up above him. Miroku still trusted his instincts enough, even when transformed, that he immediately ducked. Ryukotsusei's tail whipped over his head. Inuyasha leapt. Miroku braced himself. Then an arm curled around his waist and he was yanked to the side. Inuyasha bounded up the side of the cliff like it was nothing, dragging Miroku along none-too-gently. But he wasn't attacking. He wasn't acting remotely aggressive towards Miroku. He deposited the monk firmly back on the plateau and turned back around without a moment's hesitation, flung himself back at Ryukotsusei. Miroku was left still grasping Tessaiga and lost for words.
"Kirara!" he shouted once his mind had caught up. He saw her pause in the air, looked over to him worriedly. "I need you to bring me to him."
She looked incredibly dubious but began towards him regardless. Sango was staring at him, and forced Kirara to stop when they reached him.
"You saw that," Miroku said as she opened her mouth. "He's not going to attack me, a least not while Ryukotsusei's around. I just have to get close."
"You'd better be right about this," Sango sighed and helped him up.
Kirara flew low to the ground, approached Ryukotsusei cautiously. Inuyasha was still clawing at him. Miroku tugged gently on the nenju. The hanyou whipped around, his eyes narrowing as they landed on him. Sango raised her hand, and another bolt of lightning shot down at the dragon on Totosai's command. Inuyasha leapt back and landed on the ground before them. Miroku slid off Kirara's back and she and Sango took off. Inuyasha was staring at him with wild eyes.
Miroku lifted Tessaiga, and the sword pulsed in his hand. Inuyasha's eyes flashed and his youki swirled. He took a tentative step forward. Miroku held carefully still, intent on not appearing as a threat. Another step. And Ryukotsusei's tail slammed into them both.
Miroku connected hard with the cliff and slumped to the ground, stunned. Inuyasha landed not far away, head bowed, panting. Tessaiga lay between them. Miroku shifted slightly, reaching out for the sword. Inuyasha's head snapped up.
Now.
He crawled forward and grasped the hilt of the sword. His youki flared and rumbled, and energy crackled down his arm where he connected to Tessaiga. Inuyasha gasped as his vision snapped back into focus. His breath came in shuddering gasps, and he tasted blood on his tongue. Not human. But there was a familiar scent nearby, sharp with pain. He looked up to see Miroku staring at him, splayed out over a pile of rocks, chest heaving. Inuyasha blinked a few times, his ears flicking back in distress. Miroku's face split into a relieved smile.
"What happened?" Inuyasha asked as the monk stumbled towards him. "You're okay?"
"Well, we're still imminently going to die," Miroku sighed, nodding pointedly at Ryukotsusei behind him. "But I'm glad you're back."
Inuyasha looked back at the dragon and growled, stepping further in front of Miroku. "Right, okay. Great." He lifted Tessaiga. "Ryukotsusei, this is it for you!"
The sword transformed and instantly tipped to the ground from its weight. Inuyasha growled as Ryukotsusei laughed. "You are so very weak as a hanyou, you can't even hold up your sword! Pitiful!"
"Shut up!" Inuyasha shouted. "I'm still going to kill you, but I'm going to do it the right way." He glanced over his shoulder. "Miroku, get out of here. I can't do this with you in danger."
"Just don't die," the monk warned him sternly, and he ran along the base of the cliff, away from them both.
Ryukotsusei coiled back, lifted a hand. "This time, I won't hold back for your sake!"
Before Inuyasha could respond, Kirara dove for the dragon, and Sango dug her sword into one of the multiple wounds down his neck. Ryukotsusei roared and shook his head, dislodging them.
"Sango, get out of there!" Inuyasha shouted up at them. "I need to be the one to kill him!"
Mo-Mo and Kirara both flew away from Ryukotsusei, and moved to hover above his head.
"You don't need to do this alone!" Sango called down to him. "You can be the one to take him down if you want, but don't be stupid – you can use all the help you can get!"
He shook his head, eyes darting to Tessaiga. "I need to kill him so I can surpass my father."
"Is that what this is about?" Sango asked incredulously. "Inuyasha, why the hell would you need to do that? What are you trying to prove?"
The question pulled him up short. He wasn't trying to- He needed to fix Tessaiga! He needed to keep his pack safe! Killing Ryukotsusei wasn't about-
Except it was.
Because if he could kill an opponent that even his father couldn't, then the world was wrong about him. He wasn't a pathetic half-breed, a waste of space. He wasn't too weak to handle his demon blood. If he could just do this one thing…
He lifted Tessaiga above his head and locked his eyes on Ryukotsusei. He would kill this dragon, and he'd do it with his father's sword, but he wasn't doing it for him. He closed his eyes, let out a breath, and channelled his youki into the blade. He raised the sword, focusing on it and it alone. There was no mistake about it – it was lighter than it had been just a moment earlier. It felt like an extension of his hand. He lifted it above his head. And he leapt.
A ball of energy shot above his head. He yelled. And Tessaiga buried itself in Ryukotsusei's chest. The dragon exclaimed in surprise. Inuyasha was almost as startled. He did it!
Blood spurted from the wound, and a strange force pulled him forward. Ryukotsusei's roar shook the valley. The dragon's youki shot out in a wave, throwing Inuyasha back. He heard his companions cry out as the immense power hit them. A blinding white-blue light swirled around Ryukotsusei as he lifted into the air. A blast was forming in his jaws, aiming straight at Inuyasha.
There was a grunt, then a shout from his right. The wind tunnel burst open beside him. Miroku had his eyes fixed on Ryukotsusei, was braced against the void. Ryukotsusei's jaws snapped open and the blast shot forth, this time heading for the monk. Miroku closed the wind tunnel, was reaching for his staff. Inuyasha landed in front of him, youki blazing, and cut straight through the blast instead.
Everyone froze. Inuyasha let out a shuddering breath. What the hell? Miroku's hand grasped his shoulder, and he caught the monk's arm.
"Kirara!" he shouted, and as she dove, he wrapped and arm around Miroku's waist and threw him into the air. He caught Sango's outstretched hand and she pulled him onto Kirara's back. Inuyasha barely had time to glance back at Ryukotsusei before he dodged the next blast.
The dragon was pissed. He hurled shot after shot of the energy at Inuyasha, forcing him to run along the cliffs, duck and weave. His youki was still thrumming under his skin, and he used it to twist in the air and slow his fall. An unusually long pause after a blast made him whip around, and he saw Kirara tearing into Ryukotsusei's wounds again. It was his chance!
Miroku caught his eye and shouted something at Kirara, who instantly kicked off the dragon's neck and flew to a safe distance. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at the dragon, honed in on the aura surrounding him. To his utter shock, there was a familiar crackling line of energy building between them. The Wind Scar! But how- He hadn't even-
He wasn't going to complain about it.
He lifted Tessaiga, which felt as light as air, and hurled the Wind Scar at Ryukotsusei. The dragon shrieked as the six lines of energy raced along the ground and struck him, hard. He was thrown back, long wounds running down his body wherever the Wind Scar had connected. Inuyasha curled his lip in grim satisfaction and lowered his sword. He could still see the energy crackling down the blade. He could feel Tessaiga's power at his fingertips, could feel the Wind Scar sitting heavy in his mind.
"You did it!" Shippo exclaimed from Mo-Mo's back as he scampered over Totosai. "Did you see that? He did it!"
Inuyasha smiled tiredly, looked over to where Miroku and Sango were cheering on Kirara.
"I'll give you points for controlling the sword," Totosai said, shaking his head. "But it's too early to celebrate."
With a cold ball of dread settling in his stomach, Inuyasha glanced back at Ryukotsusei. He could hear the dragon's heartbeat. Could sense his youki still sitting heavy along the valley floor.
"Aw, come on!" he shouted. "Isn't this thing dead yet?"
The ground rumbled as Ryukotsusei rose, his eyes blazing. "Is that the best you have, little man? You disappoint me. I told you, my body is harder than armour."
"Inuyasha!" Miroku's voice called down urgently, and he was unwrapping his mala beads. "Get back!"
Inuyasha's eyes darted back to Ryukotsusei, saw the ball of energy forming in his jaws. His youki pulsed around him in an identical blue light. A pull of immense power came from the dragon, and even the gravity around them shifted. Smaller rocks began to float up from the ground to hover around him. The ball of energy in his mouth continued to grow.
"Don't just stand there gawking!" Totosai was yelling at him. "Run!"
Inuyasha lifted Tessaiga. The Wind Scar crackled to life around him.
"Inuyasha, run!" Miroku shouted.
He ran, towards Ryukotsusei. The blast shot forth. The Wind Scar didn't fade, only shifted to form around the giant ball of energy. It was now or never – if he couldn't avoid the attack, then he'd cut through it! Aiming for the amber line of the Wind Scar dancing along the surface, he swung Tessaiga with all his power. His youki flared around him. The Wind Scar burst forward, a wave of amber light shooting through the blast. Rather than dispelling it, the attack swept Ryukotsusei's energy up in its wake, sending it all hurtling back towards the dragon in a crackling, swirling mess. Ryukotsusei cried out. Lines of power shot out in all directions, slicing through his body, gouging into the cliffs around them, digging craters in the ground. A pull of power drag Inuyasha in a step before it burst out in a blinding light. He swore and dropped to the ground, shut his eyes and dug his claws into the rock.
When the buffeting winds died down, Inuyasha glanced around in a daze. Ryukotsusei's body was scattered in pieces across the valley floor. There was almost nothing left. What had happened? That was totally different than any other Wind Scar! He looked down at Tessaiga, felt the hum of energy running along the blade. Carefully, he transformed it down, keeping his eyes fixed on the blade.
"Inuyasha!"
Miroku was calling for him.
"Inuyasha!"
Shippo had leapt off Mo-Mo's back before the ox even touched the ground, took off running towards him. He deftly sheathed Tessaiga and caught the kit as he leapt for him.
"You did it!" he was babbling as he wrapped his arms around Inuyasha's neck. "There's nothing even left of that dragon! It was the most spectacular thing I've ever seen! You must be the most powerful person in the whole world now!"
Inuyasha barked a startled laugh and hugged the kit close as the others approached. He shared a look with Miroku and Sango that was equal parts amused, exasperated, and stunned with disbelief.
"How were you able to do that?" Sango asked with a crooked smile, propping an elbow on Miroku's shoulder and leaning against him tiredly.
"Uh…" Inuyasha said slowly.
"Very impressive, Master Inuyasha!" a voice announced as Myoga hopped from Kirara's head onto Inuyasha's nose. "I knew from the start you had the strength to defeat him."
"Myoga, where the hell did you come from?" Miroku asked incredulously as Inuyasha slapped the flea away.
"Totosai," Inuyasha said, walking up to the old demon. "I gotta say, I'm impressed. What the heck was that – some extension of the Wind Scar or something? Was that just from stabbing Ryukotsusei in the heart? Why didn't you tell me about that?"
Totosai stared at him incredulously. "You mean you used the technique without realizing?"
"What technique?" Inuyasha asked. "That was just the Wind Scar!"
"That was far beyond such a simple maneuver," the old demon shook his head grimly. "That was the Backlash Wave."
"The what?"
"You maneuvered your opponent's attack into being ensnared by the Wind Scar," Totosai explained patiently. "You were able to harness them both together to reverse the energy upon Ryukotsusei. That was how you were able to defeat him – he was struck with both the Wind Scar and his own youki. It is Tessaiga's ultimate technique."
"Huh," he said, looking down at the sword. "I didn't think about any of that. I just listened to my instincts and followed my nose."
Totosai actually looked impressed. "Just remember, to use the Backlash Wave, your opponent's power must be much greater than your own. Otherwise, the Wind Scar will simply dispel it."
"This should make battles somewhat easier," Miroku grinned tiredly.
"No shit!" Inuyasha muttered thoughtfully. He felt a little giddy. "And I can see the Wind Scar whenever I want, now! Watch this!"
He pulled out the sword and, with one hand, sent a line of amber light shooting into the closest cliff. The rock split open and huge chunks split away to crash into the ground.
"Very impressive," Sango said, watching the burning energy fade from the ground. "Be careful where you're aiming it, though, please."
"Heh, don't worry," he grinned, sheathing Tessaiga and turning to face her and Miroku. "I think I've had enough killing things for one day."
"I'll say!" Miroku sighed.
Inuyasha eyed them both skeptically. "You guys okay? I don't really remember what happened after you showed up."
"No one's badly injured," Sango reported. "Just a little battered, I think."
"What about you?" Miroku asked gently. "That couldn't have been an easy battle."
"Actually, I feel fine," Inuyasha shrugged. "More than fine, in fact. The transformation must've healed all my wounds."
"In that case, I vote we find someplace to rest for the night," Miroku smiled.
"Seconded," Sango muttered.
Inuyasha glanced up at the sky, at the sunset which painted the clouds in rich colours. It was so strange – he hadn't slept in days, and yet he felt more alive than ever! Was this what his transformations could be like? Was this what full youkai felt like all the time? It was exhilarating! But he looked down at the blood splattering his robes, clinging to his skin. It would never be worth it. He'd been lucky, so fucking lucky, that he'd gotten a hold of Tessaiga before he'd hurt anyone. He'd need to get the whole story from the others later, but based on how ragged they all looked, it hadn't exactly been an easy time.
They all clambered onto Kirara's back, held each other tightly as she followed Mo-Mo out of the valley. They said goodbye to Totosai in the air, send him and Myoga off with their thanks. Inuyasha was a little hesitant when Miroku suggested going back to the cave for the night, but he couldn't argue. As the heat of battle faded, both humans began to slump against each other, and Shippo had already fallen asleep on Miroku's shoulder. They agreed to head in that direction and stop in any storehouse or shelter they came upon first.
They ended up finding a small, run-down hut in the middle of a field. Inuyasha offered to go fishing as the others flopped dramatically to the floor, but a small chorus of grumbles assured him that it was fine. He chuckled and crouched down next to them, sniffing them all over again just to be sure before heading off to find some firewood.
Kirara and Shippo were deeply asleep by the time he got back. Sango had propped herself up against the wall and was propping her head up with her hand. Miroku had thrown the blankets over the floor and was lazily drawing swirls in the dust covering the floor. He wordlessly passed over his striker and agate when Inuyasha held out a hand for them, and watched idly as Inuyasha built the fire.
Sango unceremoniously slumped down on the floor and rolled over towards the irori, wrapping herself in one of the blankets as she did so. Inuyasha dropped one of the other two over Shippo and Kirara, and brought the last to Miroku. His partner shot him a grin and reached out with a hand, catching his shoulder as he knelt down and dragging him closer. Inuyasha wrapped his arms tightly around the monk and buried his face into his neck, pressing gentle kisses along the skin. Miroku hummed appreciatively and brushed his fingers along Inuyasha's ears. Inuyasha nipped gently at his jaw then pressed their lips together firmly.
Miroku chuckled when they broke apart, eyed the hanyou thoughtfully. "You're not tired at all, are you?"
"No," Inuyasha admitted a little wryly. "But you're clearly exhausted, so I'll be good."
"Come on," the monk said, pushing himself up. "Let's head outside so we don't wake the others."
"Wait," Inuyasha frowned in confusion. "I just said-"
"I've been waiting to kiss you senseless for days now," Miroku told him firmly. "And I have things planned that I feel like the others shouldn't see."
Well, when he put it like that. Inuyasha quickly followed him outside, excitement buzzing under his skin. He snagged an arm around Miroku's waist, pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Just for a bit, though. It's no fun if you pass out on me."
"You can carry me back once we're done," Miroku told him reassuringly.
They sat down on the grass just outside. Miroku shivered a little from the chill of the night air, and Inuyasha instantly wound his arms around his shoulders. They exchanged a few lazy kisses, breathing each other in. Then they simply held each other close for a while, looking up at the crescent moon.
"I don't think I've ever felt this good after a transformation," Inuyasha murmured into Miroku's temple.
"There were slightly different circumstances this time," his partner pointed out gently. "What do you remember?"
He sighed. "Not much. It's still mostly a blur, but I remember the Tessaiga calling out to me."
"You were trying to get to it. You wanted to come back." Miroku held his gaze evenly. "And even when you were transformed, you still recognized us as pack. You fought so hard to protect us."
Inuyasha frowned. "I didn't attack you? At all?"
"I don't know if it was because you weren't so seriously injured, or if it was because we were in danger, but you never even tried to fight us. You even pulled me to safety at one point."
Inuyasha huffed, closed his eyes. "What does that mean, for next time? Am I learning to control it? Will I be safe to be around? Myoga said it would only get worse, that each time the transformation would get even stronger. I don't-" He grimaced. "I just don't know what this all means."
"It means that you're constantly defying expectations," Miroku murmured against his neck. "It means that this thing doesn't define you."
Inuyasha pressed Miroku closer, buried his nose in his hair. He wanted to believe it – he really, really did. He wanted to believe that things would be somehow better. That he didn't have to worry about transforming anymore. That he would be safe to be around. That he'd come out of it with the enemy dead and his pack smiling and be floating on his newfound power. But life was never that easy. He still couldn't remember most of what had happened. His pack had still risked their lives to get him back under control. Even if he would protect them in his mindless state, the same couldn't be said for any other humans around. In their eyes, he would still be the monster.
"You were incredible today," Miroku said quietly, pulling him from his thoughts, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
"I definitely got lucky," he sighed. "But Totosai's right – I used the Backlash Wave without even realizing it. It took me ages to understand the Wind Scar, and there's no guarantee I'll be able to use the Backlash Wave the next time I try. I still don't even get what it is."
"You just need practice," Miroku assured. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"Yeah, maybe." Inuyasha sighed and leaned back. "One thing's for sure – it'll be a lot safer for everyone once I become a full demon."
Miroku blinked, his heartbeat rising. "What?"
"Tessaiga's becoming more powerful, but I still can't control it," he explained. "And I risk transforming every time I lose it. I know, the transformations might be better, but that's one hell of a risk that I'm not prepared to take. Once I use the Jewel, I won't have to worry about transforming or figuring out the sword."
"You can't," Miroku breathed. "Inuyasha, you must realize you can't-"
"Why can't I?" Inuyasha retorted. "It would be better for everyone if I did!"
"It's not worth the-"
"I know the Jewel is dangerous!" Inuyasha snapped, exasperation colouring his voice. "Obviously I know, but isn't it worth the risk? I could transform at any moment and kill you without a second thought. I know that my body can't handle the demon blood, which is why my youkai form is so awful. If I use the Jewel, I could make myself right! I could get rid of the Jewel once and for all – we wouldn't have to worry about anyone taking it ever again – and I can finally become a proper demon! You saw how powerful I was when I transformed, and I can use that power safely if I use the Jewel."
"It's not worth it!" Miroku argued, his voice rising. "A transformation by the Jewel-"
"Would make everything better!" Inuyasha shouted. "I can't stand losing myself all the time and coming back not knowing what I've done or who I could have killed. Using the Jewel would fix me! Even if I'm not perfect, it has to be better than this. It's worth the risk!"
"That's not the problem!" Miroku insisted. "I'm not disagreeing because using the Jewel is too risky – which it is, by the way. I'm saying that I don't want you to turn into a demon! I want you to remain as you are. I fell in love with you, Inuyasha! I love you, not some permanently altered version of yourself that you think you should be."
Inuyasha went rigid. He blinked rapidly. His mind tried to process the words. "You…you love me?"
Miroku froze before a sorrowful smile formed on his lips. "Yes. Yes, Inuyasha, I love you." He swallowed hard. "And I can't stand the thought of losing you for good. Not to a transformation, with the Jewel or otherwise."
"But…" Inuyasha shook his head, chest heaving. "That was never… You don't need to worry about losing me. I'll still be there for you as a demon."
"It's not about me," Miroku whispered. "It's not about us. I know you've wanted to use the Jewel from long before I met you – that you wanted to use it to become human for Kikyo. It's not right. You'd be sacrificing half of yourself, either way. You'd be losing half of your soul."
Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't get it. I don't understand why that's such a problem. I'm a hanyou! Half-breeds aren't supposed to exist! They're trapped between two worlds. Everyone hates us. Everyone knows we're the worst of both sides. Miroku, I'm wrong!"
"No, you're not!" Miroku shouted, and Inuyasha was startled at the intensity of the words. "I know you've been told that you're whole life, but it's not true. Anyone who's gotten to know you can see that! Inuyasha, everyone around you – me, Sango, Shippo, Kirara, Kaede, even strangers from that boy in the village to Nobunaga to Nazuna, everyone who's been able to look past their stupid, hateful prejudice has seen how amazing you truly are."
"Miroku-"
"What about Jinenji?" Miroku snapped. "What do you think Kura would have to say about hanyou? What about Sango? She's studied every youkai in existence. Don't you think she would know if there was something wrong with you? And what about me?" he asked finally. "Inuyasha, I've travelled with you for more than half a year. I've seen your anger, your grief, your hate, all the worst parts of you. And I've seen your compassion, your intelligence, your courage – your strength. I've seen you, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is nothing wrong with who you are now."
Inuyasha gasped. The breath stuttered in his lungs. His eyes were fixed on Miroku, stinging with unshed tears, and he couldn't move.
"I know the transformations frighten you," he continued, his voice dropping to a gentle murmur. "I can't imagine all that you've been through over the past few months. But the Jewel isn't the way. You are the one who will overcome this. Today was proof that you can learn to control this thing. I know it's difficult, and it will be a long and uncertain path, but we're all going to stand by you and help however we can. Just don't give up on yourself."
He wrapped his arms around Inuyasha, pulled him close. He pressed his face against his neck, whispered the words into his skin.
"We'll never give up on you."
Important Announcement: Well, here we are. Two seasons down, 400k+ words, approaching a year in the making. The next chapter is going to cover the first movie, and since it's around 5x longer than the episodes, I'm going to need a bit longer to write it. After that, I need a little bit of a vacation. However, I will also be doing some editing in that time, fixing spelling errors and doing some formatting on previous chapters, tweaking a few scenes here and there. I'm not sure if people who've bookmarked/favourited this story will get notifications when I edit, but if so, I apologize and please ignore them. Here's the schedule:
Friday, November 6: no update
Friday, November 13: the entire movie
Friday, November 20 AND 27: on vacation
Friday, December 4: first chapter of season 3
During this time, I need your help to determine some crucial aspects of where this story is going. Firstly, season 3 and ESPECIALLY season 4 have a whole lotta filler episodes, so I would love any suggestions you have regarding things you want to see (specific scenarios, showdowns between specific characters, a day at the beach, etc.)
Secondly, I've seen several people wondering about who Sango will end up with. The answer? I don't know. I don't have any strong leanings in any particular direction, so I'm absolutely open to suggestions. Here's what I have thought of so far:
A) No one. She doesn't need romance as her plot is more centred around Kohaku
B) Kouga (remember that Ayame still exists and I actually like her as a character, so she will be featuring in more of the story than in the show after she gets introduced)
C) That random suitor guy from the episode with the bear demon where Kagome's playing matchmaker
D) Sesshomaru. More open to humans, interesting dynamic with the pack already…
E) Amari Nobunaga. A pacifist clutz with a highly-skilled demon slayer? There's potential
F) Someone else entirely (man or woman (or nb), human or demon (or hanyou) possibly an OC)
I don't necessarily feel the need to make a romance with her a huge part of the plot, but it's definitely something I'm open to exploring.
Please let me know in the comments and I'll see you all in two weeks!
