Illusion is Reality

Chapter 117

-AHHHHHHHH-

I just felt tired. Shouldn't be possible since I was made of energy and all, but I did. I felt so weary and exhausted that I didn't want to do anything. I had all the time in the world and all the power to do whatever I wanted… And I just couldn't. I just… Couldn't work up the motivation to do anything at all. Even the things I loved. I found myself lazing on the couch, watching reruns of the episodes I already knew by heart. And I felt exhausted. I hated moments like this, they were few and far between, but every few million years it would just… hit me. (It'll pass, eventually. It always passes.) And the worst part was I couldn't go over to Seb's place while I was like this. Didn't want to bring everyone down. (And the other part of me was feeling that the tiredness was from thinking too hard on what brother said, but I didn't really want to admit that aloud.)

Times like these, I just wanted to let go.

Let go of my grip over my powers, just… relax and allow them to go and do whatever the fuck they wanted. I was too tired to hold them down. It would be so easy to stop. Go to sleep and just stay there. But I couldn't let go. So I just laid there on the couch, hating myself for being lazy. I've been lying here for hours and haven't done anything productive. I know I shouldn't feel down on myself for this. Linda's told me that I didn't have to always do something 'productive'. But I still felt like I was wasting my time for no good reason.

"Do you wanna come to the zoo?" Keyhole asked. I mumbled a negative. He looked worried. "There's a petting zoo in the Fuwa-Quadrent? They have fluffy things." I sort of wanted to but I also didn't really want to.

"Do you wanna cook something?" 8-Ball tried. I shook my head. "If you're hungry, I've got the new microwave set up to make the meals for you…" ("Wait, it can do that? That's awesome!")

"Do you wanna rain fiery destruction down upon your enemies?" Pyronica tempted. I closed my eye and turned away. "I'm not supposed to do that anymore." she huffed at my response. "Why? Because your human family wouldn't approve?" at my silence, she groaned. "Since when have you cared what other people think?" then she paused, "Okay fine, you've always cared, but since when did that stop you?"

"...I actually want them to continue loving me." I mumbled. Pyronica huffed again. "And if they can't love you for the glorious bastard that you are, then why bother?" I managed a weak chuckle but still let out a sigh. "Because I want to be a better person…" I flopped onto my back, eye half lidded and laid there.

"Shit guys, Bill's really feeling down." Pyronica sounded worried. She shouldn't be. I was fine. Just… tired. It happened. I'll get over it. Just have to wait it out. PaciFire came over, sat down near me (I could tell it was him by the way he walked) and told everyone, "Just leave him alone for a while." And Pyronica protested, but PaciFire told her, "He needs some quiet time."

A huff. "Fine." The clicking of her heels as she walked away, "Feel better soon." I could hear the worry in her voice.

I relaxed with my eye closed, practically going limp on the couch. PaciFire didn't say anything. The quiet was starting to get to me. "What?" I finally asked. "Nothing. I'm just sitting here." he shrugged.

"Doing what?" I rolled over to lie on my side, propped up against the couch. I opened my eye to watch him. He was leaning back against the side of the couch. "I'm not doing anything." He had his eyes closed, relaxed and calm as anything. "I don't have to do anything." He pointed out.

"...because you're off for the season?" Demon baby fights was up to its thirty fifth season already. I'm amazed a show could run for so long. But they 'reboot' the story a few times, with an apocalypse 'killing' all the characters and a new cast being introduced. PaciFire was the only one still on the show, had been for years and years. He got a break every few seasons. And during his breaks, he doesn't know what to do with himself. I could sympathize.

"Because I don't have to be doing anything. And I don't want to. So I'm just hanging out." He shrugged. "I don't have to always be doing stuff. And neither do you."

"You sound like my therapist." I huffed. PaciFire turned to shoot me a grin. "That's your mind healer, right? I'm honored to know I sound like them." My bricks glowed softly, relaxed as I was. "Yeah, she's pretty great."

"Well, perhaps I could be a mind healer." PaciFire wagged his tail. "The kind where I just talk to people and they feel better." He gave me a gentle smile. I considered it, "I think that if you want to do that, you can go for it." Should I introduce PaciFire to Linda?

"Nice." He nodded, adjusting his position to lie more comfortably. "How're you feeling right this moment?"

"Oh? Testing your skills on me are you?" I rolled onto my back, folding my hands across my front. "Well, I'm kinda tired. I feel… uninspired. Which is silly, I'm a muse, I'm supposed to inspire others." I grumbled. "So I feel like I'm kinda messing up." (And heck, that's why I wasn't about to go back to Seb's place like this, I would just bum him out. And I couldn't let Fordsie see me like this! He'd be too disappointed. And brother? I couldn't possibly let him see me like this.)

"Even a muse can have creative blocks." PaciFire played with his tail, twirling it around his hand. "At least, that's what I think. But who knows, you're the expert here."

"I actually haven't met any other muses. Except my big brother. But he's different." I hummed. "And I love him, but sometimes I feel like he talks me into stuff that I think is amazing to do, but I don't know if I can actually pull it off." or really want to do.

PaciFire was quiet for awhile, then he told me, "No offence Bill, but I don't think I like your brother very much."

If anyone else had said something like that to me, I'd have told them to screw off. But PaciFire was my Friend. So I just groaned. "Most people don't."

"I'm serious. He's…" PaciFire grimaced. "He just waltzes in here like he owns the place." ("Yeah, he tends to do that.") "And you do realize he made everyone feel stupid?" I winced at that. "...yeah, he… tends to do that too…" PaciFire sighed. "We didn't say anything at the time, since you seemed so happy to have him here, and we're happy for you, that you found someone you like so much." He was giving me a worried look. "But you seem kinda miserable right now."

I twitched. "It's not-" I paused. "It's not his fault. I just…" I flicked my bowtie. "He expects great things from me, because he knows I'm capable." But… I just… wasn't smart enough to do it right… "But I can't live up to that. And then I feel like I've let him down. And then I feel like I've let everyone down." and it made me feel awful inside, like I was failing him, failing everyone. I tried not to think about this, because I didn't like thinking about this.

"...and then you don't want to do anything at all?" PaciFire noted.

"...Kinda…? I mean, I just… didn't wanna do it anymore. It's frustrating and I get upset and then I give up." I rubbed a hand over my closed eye. "I give up too easily."

"Bill, you're billions of years old. You've done more than anyone else. Giving up doesn't mean you can't come back to something. Just do something else for a while. If you need a break, you can take a break. Screw what your brother 'expects' from you."

"I AM taking a break!" I protested. "But I just… don't want to do anything and then I feel bad because I don't wanna do anything-"

"Quite the conundrum." He noted. "So what do you want to do?" Was that a hint of a smirk I saw?

"I don't know! I said that already!" I threw my hands in the air before they flopped over limply, trailing over the sides of the couch. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, I don't really know what I want to do either." PaciFire sounded about as weary as I felt. "I've been on the show for so long, because it's work and it pays and it's my career. But it's not what I envisioned doing forever." He dropped his tail, sinking into the couch. "Settling down with a partner and getting a quiet office desk job no longer appeals to me though." His own troubles were a good distraction from my own. I knew he was doing that on purpose. Taking care of myself? Hell no. Taking care of others? Hell yeah.

"...you wanna get into magic? I know you're still learning." Everything was online now. Even magic tomes had been scanned in and archived on the servers. PaciFire didn't use magic all that often, but I know he learned it. And practiced in secret.

"Do you?" He asked back at me. "With your skill and knowledge, you'd be able to do anything. Healer, fortune teller, commissioned curses or hexes, heck, even an artificer wouldn't be hard for you."

"I can't deal with customer service." I grumbled. "I can barely handle my Deals, and even then, I can get away with being as snarky and bitchy as I want because people go to me only as some kinda last resort. Or they're stupid."

PaciFire straight up laughed. "No one said you had to be nice to your customers. Even in some other career, you don't need the money, just do it for fun. Or don't, that's up to you."

"Ugh… I can just feel my motivation leave me." I flopped over again.

"Look, you've told us to try out different things when we get bored. So, shouldn't you try the same?" PaciFire sounded like he was trying to be patient. Well…. I guess I was being kinda… whiny right now. I sighed, heaving myself up. "Alright. I'll try it out for a while. Who knows, maybe it'll get me out of this funk." I was going to spend a summer vacation with the Pines, and I wanted to be in a better mood for it. No point in being no-fun. So… find something to do to get me to feel less 'bleh' would be a good start.

I didn't know what to try out, so I ended up throwing darts at a board, blindfolded, and seeing what I hit. Which was 8-Ball.

"Shit man, sorry." I pulled the dart, which was luckily too weak to pierce deep into his thick skin, sinking in only by its tip, out with a little a little popping sound. 8-Ball chortled. "That feels funny." He grinned.

"That's the neurotoxin. Don't worry, it's not deadly. Just makes you kinda high for a while." I assured him. "Hey Bill, why're you changing colors?" 8-Ball blinked at me.

"That's just the left side of your brain going into overdrive from the toxin. I'm not changing colors, you're simply perceiving colors as being much more vibrant than usual." I waved off, picking him up and moving him away from the large dart board covered in career slips. "Sit down before you hurt yourself."

8-Ball rocked back and forth. "Bill! Everything is so hot!" He panted, clenching and unclenching his fingers.

"Yes, it's a very fast acting toxin." I nodded. "Soon you're going to feel like your vocal chords are no longer under your control. Don't worry, I'm right here, in case any complications arise."

"Why do you even HAVE NEUROTOXIN DArts an-way?"

"Got them from a Deal a very long time ago. Strong stuff, was gonna use 'm but I didn't need them anymore and tossed them into my knick knack box." I shrugged. "You see, if I prick them into myself, it has a very different effect."

"WuuuhAAA KAIIINNN DAeffffff-ict?"

"Ah…" I blushed. "That's not important. But it does still work on me. Sort of. It makes me so high I vibrate. But it's a very low frequency vibration, kinda soothing." I shrugged. "But I don't need it. And I kept them around to study in order to make my vessels immune to them in case anyone tries to shoot me with these out in public."

8-Ball was struggling to talk, lying on the ground with his mouth open and drooling everywhere. He was blinking slowly, the 8-balls making up his eyes rolling around and around. "Whhhhyre daaa shhheen so ghuuuuh?"

"Because you're probably feeling like your skin is a distant entity, or time has slowed. The effects of this stuff is truly fascinating to see. Don't worry, you're going to be fine, the effects should wear off in a few minutes. I've tested the substance on copies of all of your genetic makeup to check for any harmful effects."

"Mnnmnnhh?"

"Well, I needed a dart to choose a job randomly and these were the first ones I had on hand."

"Buh beh?"

"I didn't feel like creating a dart. Waste of energy."

8-Ball nodded, understanding my point, he was giggling as he reached out at things only he could see, trying to touch them. I patted his head. "Just try to enjoy yourself and ride this out." I moved him out of the way of my dart board already, so I tied my blindfold back on. I groped around blindly for the box of darts and picked a new one up.

"Ok, choose a job, take two." I pulled back my hand and threw the dart-

"Hey Bill, have you seen where I put my-ouch!"

I pulled off my blindfold. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" And flew over to pull the dart out of Hectogron's arm. "Goddamn why do you all keep walking in front of the dartboard?!"

"Am I poisoned?! Am I dying?!" Hectorgon flopped onto the ground. I picked him up to carry him to the couch. "No, you're just going to be high for a while."

"...why are you throwing drug filled darts around?" Hectorgon sighed. "Why are YOU all walking in front of them!" I waved my hand to put a barrier around the dartboard. Yeesh! Hectorgon saw 8-Ball giggling and rocking on the ground. "...Oh, I see." He sat himself down and slowly tilted until he fell onto his side. "Shit… This is the good stuff… what were these for?"

"Well the guy I got them from was making these himself, for parties, you know?" I got a pillow for Hectorgon. 8-Ball didn't need one, he needed the stable stone floor to ground himself as his mind floated off into some psychedelic sky. Hectorgon was more delicate, he would need the pillow to cushion his descent once he came back down.

"Then he 'accidentally' threw one of these things at a Federation officer, he was aiming for one of his friends and missed because he thought his hands were fireworks," I say accidentally, but he knew there were patrols around, he just didn't care. His parents were rich so he probably thought he could get away with it. He thought wrong.

"Anyway, long story short, he got in trouble and this particular officer was just shooting into the crowd randomly, was seeing points pop up and hearing little dinging sounds when he did. So the only sober one calls ME up to help. I say sober, but he must have also been high if he thought calling ME was going to help." I rolled my eye. "But I did. And I took the rest of their stash away. And made the kid agree not to mess with homemade neurotoxin without supervision." I shrugged. "Once the officer came down, he actually told the kid he could have a job mixing up more kinds of mind altering drugs for the Federation. Kinda problematic, but I went to Time Baby about that, if these things work on ME, they're sure as fuck gonna effect HIM. So they are being carefully monitored and regulated."

I was rambling, but it seemed Hectorgon wasn't listening anymore as he witnessed the formation of the universe inside his mouth, if the way he was working his jaw and mumbling was any indicator. Well, I left him to his fun. At this point I realized I should give up on the whole blindfold and throw a dart idea. With my luck, I'll hit Ammy next and all Hell would break loose.

8-Ball rolled over and reached a hand up to poke at my foot. "Biiillll…?" He slurred, looks like he was coming back down. "Can…. Can I have Ann-ther hit?" He blinked at me multiple times.

"... Sure."

Needless to say, I didn't end up getting a job. But the good news is that my bout of listlessness passed! Hooray~ Who needs a job anyway? I'm a full time god and part time idol, so I think that's job enough.

"...what if… umbrellas… weren't for keeping the rain off you, but keeping you away from the rain?" 8-Ball blinked slowly, holding Toobie in his lap as he laid on the floor, staring blankly up at the ceiling. "Like… the rain wants to be in the ground, not on people?" ("Considering there are dimensions with sentient water creatures, you're not technically wrong.") Then he blinked again. "Why're there teeth in the ceiling again?" ("Because they're lost from the bottom.") "Good thing we regrow teeth. I heard some folks don't." 8-Ball looked actually distressed at this. "They won't have teeth anymore. And life without teeth is too sad."

Teeth, sitting nearby and watching 8-Ball babble, nodded. "Truly, a life without my amazing presence would be the worst." Pyronica snorted. "You sure about that? I mean, we could try leaving you on some random planet and see how life improves~" she teased. Teeth kicked her side, "You wouldn't be able to survive without my charming wit and humor!" he protested.

The two of them bickered good naturedly as I floated near 8-Ball to hear what other great insights he had. "If a Rabbit makes a bunch of babies and they had no natural predators, will they just continue to multiply until there's no food left and they resort to cannibalism?" he asked. I laughed. "There was a chapter of Petshop of Horrors about that."

Also, I had a little clipboard out so I could note down everything 8-Ball said while high. There was some GOLD here.

So, there were a few things I've always wondered about the ancient world. The so-called wonders of the world as it were. So when Babylon finally came about (at least, I'm pretty sure this was Babylon, hell if I knew, considering they didn't call their country by that name) with people who were willing to listen to me within their dreams, I was excited for the garden that I've read about. At least, I figured they were supposed to make a garden. They had plenty of gardens here in Babylon. The Queen rather liked them. And no, this queen wasn't Sammu-ramat, she wouldn't be born for another few centuries. Wait, when was the famous hanging garden supposed to be built? I don't remember, but whatever. I liked watching this country grow regardless. Roads were paved, language evolved, wars were fought with other groups of humans… same old. But no less interesting for me to watch. I even got a Deal going with one of the architects here. Nice guy, has great ideas (even if they were all gonna be OSHA violations.) But that's fine, I possessed him a few times to jot down safety rails into his designs before they got passed onto the builders.

Once I was sure the really cool balconies weren't going to have people falling to their deaths easily, I popped out of the region to see what people were doing in other parts of the world.

Man, I missed Atlantis. All that technological development… gone. (And all the Perytons that lived there had to leave and find a new place to live, that also sucked. I missed petting them.)

Stupid Time Baby. I know brother would ask me to just beat him down and do what I want with Earth, since it was mine. And- hang on. Was that really so bad? Not the beating down Time Baby part, I mean… fully claiming Earth and demanding for Time Baby to back off from it forever? Well, I mean, half his staff are humans he grabbed from the Future (the hypocrite) so I could say that he was poaching my humans and actually exert my authority over that? Ah… I probably should have done that ages ago… I just… don't like confrontations if I could avoid them. You know what, I'm gonna ask dad. I mean, the Earth is MINE. And Time Baby's already got pretty much the rest of the multiverse to himself. It wasn't fair that he still got to have say on Earth despite agreeing that it was MINE.

I went to complain to dad.

-...you two really aren't going to get along, are you?- The AXOLOTL sighed. "No. I've tried dad! I've tried being patient and going along with what he wants, but he's never cared about how I feel about things!" Nevermind that he's apparently got it all planned out, how things were supposed to go- and I went along with it, for a very long time. Because I thought he knew better. But I was beginning to stop caring. Fuck him. I want to make my Earth better. Better than what it turned out into in Seb's dimension.

The Island was a 'test' as it were. On whether I was capable of raising a human society that would be manageable. But it was small. Rather isolated. My Earth had many human settlements and cities. And they went to war with each other over resources constantly. It was distressing to watch.

I might not have my full powers in the 3rd dimension, but I could still use Magic while inside a host. Theoretically speaking, I could make a Deal with someone who would agree to host me as I managed the Earth. If people were warring over lack of food, I could make their crops grow. If they needed more space for homes and farmlands, I could terraform their lands to make space. They wouldn't have to fight anymore! And it wasn't like I was going to rule over them, all I ask would be that no one killed each other, raped each other or mistreated children. Was that so bad?

...I am a god of simple desires.

Dad made a request to speak with Time Baby. He showed up, cranky as ever. -Bill would like to request that the Earth becomes fully his, outside your command-

The look Time Baby sent me was rather vicious, all things considered. "HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S ASKING FOR!" the tyrant bellowed. "EVERYTHING WILL GO WRONG, THEY'LL ALL BE DESTROYED, AND THEN HE WILL JUST BE INSUFFERABLE BECAUSE HE BROKE HIS OWN TOYS!"

I wanted to protest that the Earth wasn't a toy, but considering I was treating them like some overly complex Tomagachi… er… I mean… I just wanted people to stop killing and raping each other! Why was that wrong?

"AND IF HE SCREWS UP THE TIMELINE, IT'LL MAKE A PARADOX SO BAD IT WOULD DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

"I doubt it would destroy EVERYTHING." I flicked my bowtie, quick motions with one hand while the other hand tapped along my leg, restless. I was very unhappy right now and was trying my best to do things to distract from that anger.

Time Baby gave me a helpless look. "A LOT OF MY STAFF ARE HUMANS FROM THE FUTURE. IF THAT FUTURE CHANGES BECAUSE OF YOU, IT'LL CHANGE EVERYTHING!"

"That sounds like a 'you' problem for POACHING my humans in the first place." I drawled. "If you didn't set yourself up for this issue in the first place, we wouldn't be having this problem, now would we?"

The AXOLOTL sighed. -Surely there is a way around this?-

"Of course there is." I narrowed my eye at Time Baby. "Split the Timeline, so there's one version of Earth that's mine, and another is yours, OR-" I said as Time Baby looked like he was going to to scream, "Simply cut your workers out of the Timeline so they can exist regardless of a past that no longer happened."

That was technically possible, but it would make them… no longer affected by Time. Making them essentially immortal. Sure, they could still die or even age, but those would need to be done manually.

That was different from what I did with my friends. I simply healed any damage from aging cells so that they never lost their potency to cause the effects of aging. (Or in Ammy's case, he didn't age like biological beings did to begin with.) And cutting people from the Timeline altogether made them more… what was the word for this? Durable? I mean, more like they won't be able to get stuck in paradoxes like killing their own ancestor making them never born, and therefore cannot go back to kill their ancestor, but if their ancestor didn't die, then they would exist and therefore would go back and- Yeesh.

Really, the only negative that cutting off their Timeline would really do is make them exist outside Time. They would be a little more independent, outside the Baby's direct control. Meaning that they COULD betray him if they realize he couldn't simply erase them from existence anymore. Sure, Time Baby could still kill them, but he'd have to do it manually.

"NO! THEY WOULD RIOT AND GO FREE TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANTED!"

"Only if you don't have their loyalty." I pointed out. "And you can pick and choose which of your workers you want to keep. They'll be yours, and everyone else? They're MINE. You got that?"

Time Baby smacked his hands on his floating chair. "NO! NONONONO! THEY'RE MY WORKERS! I CONQUERED THEM FAIR AND SQUARE!"

"...that's…" I twitched. Then I turned to my dad. "Are you seeing this?!" The AXOLOTL sighed. -You could keep them all, your current workers, or you could give them up and find new staff- He sighed at the tantrum Time Baby continued to throw. -He will be busy for a while, perhaps ask again once he's calmed?-

I threw my hands in the air. "But he always does this!" I complained loudly. The AXOLOTL sighed. I felt kinda bad, seeing the pained look on his face. Between Time Baby wailing and screaming, and my complaints, it was probably very headache inducing for him. Realizing this, I flew over to pat his head. He did look a little soothed by this, but I winced as Time Baby's voice continued to bellow out. Well, easy fix. I raised my hand and flicked my fingers, a little [Mute] icon flashed over him, cutting off the awful sounds. I sighed in relief. As did Ax. Funny as this was, I copied this from the Time Police. They normally used this function to stop those they've captured from being able to speak and plead their innocence. Both during arrest and sometimes in court. It was so unfair. But it was a useful feature that I copied, nonetheless.

Well, Time Baby was screaming silently now. It was funny to watch. I settled down in dad's arms and sighed. Might as well take this time (hah!) to have some quality snuggling with dad. He seemed to enjoy himself too, rumbling as he held me close.

-It's been a while since you've just stayed with me, like this- was that my imagination or was that fondness in his tone? -You're always busy nowadays, bustling off here and there- he commented. I shrugged. "I've also just laid around at home, doing nothing."

He twitched his gills. -Well next time you are free and want to 'lay around', you can come to me-

"Aww~" I hugged dad's face. "Do you wanna hang out? We can try another Seal and… go visit Jessie or something?" He thought about it, then nodded. -I suppose I can't afford to simply stay still anymore…-

So we left Time Baby to his tantrum and worked on a stronger Seal for Ax. I went ahead to give Jessie the head's up. "Oh! My lord is coming!" She almost swooned and I had to push her back up. Which was really difficult in Miz's form. Jessie's too damn tall! "Ah, I have to tell everyone. Get them to the other side of the temple…" Jessie sighed. "The great one is too magnificent for them to handle…"

"Yeah, yeah, dad's awesome." I rolled my eyes and continued pushing on her. "Now get off me!" She laughed and stood up straight, giving me a pat on the head before gliding off to go address her people. I sat down at the edge of the fish pool with a huff. I didn't want to say I was kinda jealous that Jessie likes Ax so much. I mean, he never spoke to her until I came along and passed messages between them, or made this Seal for him so he could talk to her. But she's all excited about him being here and… that kinda made me a little… irked. But that's… fine. Jessie is Ax's devout worshipper. So I can't really blame her.

Well, I sent Ax the go ahead and watched as the sky split apart, less of a tear in space, it wasn't quite a rift. It was more like… the sky was suddenly mist, it seemed to fade away, but only in the parts where a large pink hand emerged. And as I watched reality twist around from the sheer pressure that dad let out, I wondered if I could get the same awe as he did if I ever revealed my 'true form' within the physical world, without any of my normal attempts to keep myself contained and constrained. I could stretch out all I wanted in the Mindscape, there was barely anyone else there. But… no, it was too dangerous for me to let go while I was in the physical world. Heck, it was dangerous for Ax to be here. I could clearly see it in the way reality bent around him.

He was moving slowly, so as not to make the distortions worse. Well, the fish in the pool weren't dead, so that was a good sign. They were disoriented. I nudged one with my foot as it swam by. "Ok, dad? I think you need to stay at that distance. Any closer and these guys won't make it."

I could feel dad pause. -Very well. Thank you. I feel as it it's working a little better this time-

I nodded, "I added a second set of runes, to send energy from you back out and Up into the Space between Spaces." then I paused. There was something that I'd been wondering about. Well, I hadn't thought about it before, having only asked Dad for it and then left it at that. But… "What is that Zodiac you made for me supposed to do anyway?"

Dad looked… uncomfortable. Geez, what was so wrong about this question? I mean, I already knew one of the uses was to kill me in a way where I wouldn't come back! What could possibly be worse than that?

"Come on dad~ I know this is my fault for never clarifying with you or asking about how this whole thing worked and all…"

-...well, I… had wanted to wait until you were a trillion years old first, before I told you-

I huffed, floating up to pat his face firmly. "Daaaaaad~!"

He sighed. -It has multiple functions. Disrupting your energy, your Self, until it breaks apart is one. Such a thing would kill you, as you would no longer be able to pull yourself back together, you would never wake up again...- he sounded strained as he told me this. -But there are other ways your Zodiac can be used. They can empower you as well, without any harm on their part to do so. If you were killed in any way, even by the previously mentioned function of the Zodiac, they could pull you back together, bring you back, the same way they took you apart-

I felt a shiver go through me. "...so... " I breathed quietly. "You were never going to let me die? Were you?" Dad looked away, unable to meet my gaze.

-I'm sorry- he said, the sound of his voice was faint. -But, isn't it better this way? You don't wish to die anymore, correct?-

I clenched my fists. "That… isn't the point. You…" I took a few deep breaths. "You promised me…"

-I'm sorry...-

And something about his tone made me put aside my betrayed feelings for a moment and really look at him. And then I realized-

"You didn't want to lose me?" The idea kinda floored me. Like, I knew dad sorta cared about me. And I know I loved him. But that and this were two different things. And that look on his face (as difficult as his expressions were to read) said it all. "You don't want to lose me." I repeated. My disbelief must have showed, since dad frowned. -Of course I don't. I...- he reached his hand out to cup me in his palm. He was struggling with something. His gills were flapping back and forth with his agitation. It was so weird to see him struggling to say something, especially since he spoke telepathically. I reached out a hand to hold onto one of his fingers. "I'm not going to hate you. I'm a little mad, but I'll get over it. I always do." and he relaxed a little, just a little. -I… I've been changing how your Zodiac functions, over the last several millennia- He looked guilty. -Which you probably don't notice, as you haven't gotten them all together yet...- then he looked guiltier. -But there were some that you claimed, and… you suffered because of it. I'm sorry-

Claimed? Who? Dad noticed my confusion and sighed. -...you didn't notice?- I shook my head. He looked strained. -People you've claimed for your Zodiac… well, just meeting them wouldn't be enough, there's a connection that needs to be made, on both your ends. Either through a Deal or some other way of claiming them-

Wow. That's pretty cool. Wait, so… my Zodiac didn't have to be the humans far off in the future of Earth? That's… pretty neat. Though, I'm sure they had to still be matched up with my Symbols. That was how this all worked. Wait, did that mean I could just choose anyone else for my Zodiac? I mean, I knew that my Zodiac wasn't 'Set' yet, but I thought I could only choose the ones I remembered from the show?

-...the ones you chose for your Zodiac would always come back, even if they die, they'll be reborn...- Dad told me. That… was amazing. Did he set them up like that so that I could have them with me forever? (So I wouldn't be alone?) Or so that even after I was killed by one set of Zodiac, there could be a new generation that would bring me back? I sighed. Dad… really wouldn't let me die? Wasn't sure how to feel about that. I sighed again.

-...I don't know if they'll keep their memories, there's also some cleansing, they wouldn't incorporate into their new lives that well if there wasn't-

"I kept all my memories." I pointed out. He sighed. -I don't know where you came from. You're an anomaly-

Way to make a guy feel appreciated.

Dad must have noticed because he poked me. -I didn't mean that in a bad way- He lowered his head toward me. -Your Zodiac is the most precious thing I have made for you- I blinked. Really? It wasn't just slap-dashed together based on a scribble I drew him of a circle, some lines and some symbols? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't remember what order the circle came in. And the order changed whenever people drew my Zodiac to summon me anyway.

-They will be yours, forever. To hold their Bond, to support you. Once you've chosen them, so...- Ax looked strained. -It the least I could do...- he looked away. -So… you wouldn't just be stuck with me forever-

Stuck with- "Dad!" I sat up and glared. "I-" I slapped a hand to my chest. "-love you." I told him firmly. "So don't go all soundin' like you're upset about being here with me!" I poked him. "Don't go saying that I'm stuck with you! You're one of the few good things I have."

-...really?-

"Yeah!" I huffed as I sat down in his hand. "You're the best dad I've ever had. And you have two other guys to compete with. And you win!" I mean, Gray never really cared about me. And 爸爸 cared about me, but he didn't know how to be a proper dad. At least, I don't… think what he did was something that I wanted out of a dad.

-...in what way do I win?- Ax sounded quite confused about it.

"I mean, you actually listen to me when I talk, instead of just disregarding it without even bothering to pay attention. And you don't respond much, but you're listening and paying attention, whenever you're not asleep." That didn't seem to make Ax feel any better. Ahhh quick, list off more reasons why Ax is the best dad I've ever had! (Have I told dad these things before? I don't remember. But I can remind him again!)

"You don't yell at me!" He just seemed to wilt in on himself. -Yelling aside, I haven't talked with you much at all- he muttered. I patted his arm. "It's fine. You're still company, despite that." ….yeah, no, I don't think that helped. Wow I'm bad at this.

"You don't… go through my belongings and throw my stuff away without asking!" He twitched. -Define, your stuff?-

I gave dad a skeptical look. "...have you thrown away my stuff?" -Define, your stuff?-

"I mean, my dolls? My clothes? My drawings? My paper sculptures…"

Ax looked a little confused at my list, relaxing a little. And then he frowned. -Is this… something one of your previous fathers have done?-

"Yeah, 爸爸 didn't like clutter. And I was, and still am, a hoarder." I simply had more (sub)space to put all my stuff now (like my neat seashell collection! Or random pretty rocks I find across the multiverse!) "I mean, I was living in his house, and I did take up too much space, so I get it, but I kinda wished he didn't toss my stuff without asking me…"

And Ax looked strained for some reason. -...I do not think that is… something that a father should do...-

I tilted my head at him. "I mean, I guess not? But I was taking up space and it… it wasn't like my drawings were worth anything, I couldn't make money off them, so they-" I squeaked when dad pulled me close and pressed me against his face. Wow, he's just so soft. Kinda slippery since he's a salamander and all, but still very comfortable to the touch-

-That wasn't right-

"...it's fine. It was a whole lifetime ago." I rubbed my face against his own. -It's not fine, if you still feel so strongly about it-

...strongly? Did I? Maybe...

My hand curled into a fist, not a tight fist, but I guess… maybe I was still upset about this. It was stupid, they were things that happened so long ago...

-I'm sorry… there… I might have done things like that before… with cleaning up your leftover energy… I didn't throw anything away, but I repurposed it-

"I told you! I don't mind you using that to make stuff. It's going to waste otherwise!" I patted his face. He still looked guilty. "Seriously dad, you're not like 爸爸 at all!" After all, 爸爸 was a human, and Ax is a salamander! Nothing similar at all! "Seriously dad, just take the compliment!" I huffed. "The only thing 爸爸 does better than you is that 爸爸 could make sushi!"

What was this expression dad had? I don't understand it.

-...sushi?-

"Yeah. It's a type of food made from raw seafood. Really yummy!"

-...-

Why did this of all things, make dad feel better?! This was a negative! A point against Ax as being a good dad since he can't make sushi for me! Despite that, he was….laughing?! Ahhhh I'm never going to understand people! I was gonna ask him more about what he found so funny, but Jessie came back and I had to leave before I started gagging from the way my sis fangirled over him.

There was something I'd been wondering about. Ever since I realized Blue's body-that-he-came-back-to-life-in was a Mewman. I checked up on it before, yes. And I had gotten distracted that time. Well, not this time! I was gonna actually check up on that God of Magic that owned this part of the multiverse. I mean, I've been here before, met Eclipsa, even. But I feel kinda bad I didn't stick around more. I heard from Queen that apparently Eclipsa stopped calling after telling her that she was going to elope? I proooobably should have gone to check that out way sooner than this.

Luckily, since Time in that entire enclosed section of the multiverse only progressed when a sweaty man ran on a wheel, the time in that dimension didn't progress very quickly, compared to the rest of the multiverse with Time Baby's input. And with how I had taught Father Time how to take a break and entertain himself now and then, time progressed even slower. (Not that anyone in that dimension would notice, aside from the Magic God himself. And he hasn't raised a stint over it. So… whatever.

And it was as I Looked more into Eclipsa's situation, and everything happening on Mewni that I finally realized why something had seemed familiar.

Well shit dude. This subsection of the multiverse was… another cartoon show? I mean… I confess, I never watched Star Versus the Forces of Evil. I've only seen the Toffee episode when the wand self-destructed. (Damn sexy lizardman, kept seeing gif sets of him, so I watched his episode.) But I didn't know anything about the show. So...

It was with some trepidation that I gave everything a proper Look through. I was careful not to go too far past Eclipsa, since, if I wanted to change anything, I was going to have to not 'know' how it turned out. Couldn't have paradoxes happening after all. I didn't have much knowledge of this series to help me know what was supposed to happen here so I worried about whatever divergences from Canon I might make.

And when I Looked into what had happened with Eclipsa...

...and the monster man she loved...

...and her child...

Well. I got kinda… mad.

"Stupid racists assholes! Where the hell did those Mewmans get off doing that?! I mean, I get that there were assholes on BOTH sides of this damn conflict, but the Mewmans were invaders! And why couldn't they have shared or something? Especially once the Dimensional scissors became stuff that people could get? They could have left to find some place that wasn't already being lived in by people?!

Uuuugh this is so frustrating!

Even more so when I found the person responsible for all of this bullshit happening in the first place!

The Magic God himself.

I went to the Magic God's Realm, unimaginatively named the Realm of Magic, in search of him. Surprise! He wasn't there. Lots of unicorns though. Huh. Weren't the same ones found in the rest of the multiverse. Made sense, considering this place was split off and enclosed. Like the people in this section couldn't even travel to the rest of the multiverse. But people from outside could go in. Case in point, some humans from MY Earth (from the FUTURE of all things), ending up on Mewni here.

And, that was kinda why I was here. Well, one of the reasons at least. I had MANY reasons to be here, looking for the idiot god who ran this shithole.

Earth and humanity are mine. Mine. MineMine! I didn't notice back when I first met Eclipsa, what with the Mewmans evolving to the point that they weren't really homo sapiens anymore, but their ancestors came from Earth. Which meant they were mine. (What WAS it with the other gods poaching my humans?!) And while I wasn't gonna be taking them back, since they've lived here for so long that doing so would just distress them (not to mention that they were different enough physiologically speaking, that I wasn't sure what going back to Earth would even DO to them at this point), I did want to talk to the god of Magic about Custody. But he wasn't here. Ugh. Guess I really was gonna have to Look for him. Well, time to switch on the ol' All Seeing Eye and...

...he's inside a Book? I mean, yeah I guess. Oh, so that's his name. Glossaryck. Huh. Glossaryck, like Glossary? Hah! I'm almost amused enough to let him have a bit of mercy. The guy was hiding the fact that he was a god and pretending to be a magic book? I mean, to each their own I suppose. But I guess that was one way to make an avatar of himself to interact with the mortals without affecting them.

What a strange god. I guess it wasn't all bad. His lackidaysal methods and neutrality allowed the mortals to do whatever they wanted on their own. He did create a bunch of Angels to run the place. Magic High Commission? Kinda pretentious sounding. But whatever. I had a god to meet and Deals to make.

Wasn't hard to find the book. It was in the possession of the latest ruler of Mewni. She was busy running some election campaign, I didn't really care enough to pay attention, so I went into the palace, slipping beneath their notice, and found the book. "Knock knock~" I sang as I flipped the thing open. The pages flipped around and a tiny blue man appeared. "Whatever it is, can it be after my pedicure?"

"Sorry~ no can do~ I'm a very impatient demon." I grinned. He paused. Turned his head 180 degrees slowly to look up at me, and groaned. "Oh. It's you." He grumbled. I blinked at that. "Pretty sure we've never met. What's with this animosity?"

"You ruined my favorite student, is what you did." The mini-god folded his arms and glared at me. If I had an eyebrow, I'd raise it. "Ah huh? This is about Eclipsa?"

"Yes! Ever since she went to you for help, she just-"

"Lemme stop you right there." I cut him off. "I taught her one spell, gave her some pointers for making her own, and got her in contact with someone who could be her friend. I don't see how those're bad things to do." He opened his mouth and I cut him off again. "More than that, you have no right to complain about poaching your worshippers from you."

Now he looked confused. "What do you…"

"Let's just make this very clear." I loomed over him, rather delighted by my triangle form being bigger than someone else for once. "Humanity and the Earth belong to ME!" He had a look of realization before his expression went back to bland indifference. "Be that as it may, they aren't 'human' anymore." He looked entirely unruffled.

"I can still take them back." I threatened. He paused at that. I was bluffing of course. But with the conflicts between the invasive species of new-Mewmans against the native Mewmans (Monsters, as they called them, wow. I was getting all sorts of flashbacks to American history here…) I could have very well been telling the truth. He stared back at me, for a very long time actually. It was beginning to get uncomfortable, but I didn't want to back down first.

Finally, he sighed. "What're your terms?"

I hid my grin. "Well, first off. I have some questions, the answers will change what my terms will be." He nodded at that, waving a hand for me to continue. "Why'd you take my humans?" He didn't JUST steal them from Earth, he nabbed them through time as well (which means he's been making Deals with Time Baby behind my back to poach them!). Those people were from the 'future'. They looked like settlers from colonial times. European in descent. Probably from what would eventually be America in the future, perhaps pilgrims? "And don't pretend you didn't have something to do with it. They came here through your Realm of Magic." The fact that they lost their memories after emerging from a 'golden sea' was proof enough. His stupid Magic Realm had a mental stripping power for some dumb reason. It was terrifying, and I was quite glad it didn't work on me. Memories were all I was made of.

He sighed. "So humanity is yours? That… makes so much sense. They're quite the creative little ones…" He glanced up at me, "Fitting for a god of Knowledge." I glowed under the roundabout praise.

He settled back, floating with his legs folded. "Things were too stagnant here. I needed people who could make big changes." He said finally.

"...you realize they subjugated and forced the natives off their land and claimed it for themselves, starting a war that is still ongoing to this day? Writing history books to make themselves seem like they were in the right?" I pointed out. Very typical for humans actually. He sighed. "Well, I admit that wasn't the goal I had in mind." He looked away. "But what they do is their business." He laid back with his feet in the air. "Not my problem."

I sighed. Right. Just… ignore the problem he created. Typical. But I didn't really have a right to talk so I just sighed again. "It kinda IS your problem considering you gave them access to your magic, and they've been using your magic to kill and subjugate."

"What the mortals do is their own thing." he repeated. Wow, this guy's obnoxious as fuck.

And then I had a little idea. "Well, if you like humans so much, I can give you some." He glanced over at me. "But it'll be under my terms." He narrowed his eyes. I stared back, but it was super uncomfortable to look people in the eye, I had my gaze mainly on the forehead gem.

We had hours of debate. But finally, I held out my hand, a burning Deal flame licking at the skin harmlessly. Harmless for me and my clients, not so much if I didn't have such a good hold over them. Or if I wasn't pleased with the terms. But, this was something that both of us actually agreed to.

The terms were simple. I'll let him keep the Mewmans he has now, but he's not allowed to grab anymore humans from me without my express permission. And also...

From what little I remember of that show, a Mewman princess was going to be sent to Earth at some point. Well, I couldn't have that happening. I didn't want them messing with my Earth. And I figured out a way to let him have what he wants while also giving me what I wanted...

A Copy of Earth. Placed in Glossaryck's little multiverse. Meanwhile, I would hijack the satellite moon orbiting my own Earth and… mess with their settings. So they'll be watching the Copy of Earth instead. Time Baby's incredibly stupid, he wouldn't even tell the difference. And this way, Glossaryck gets all the humans he wants. They weren't mine after all, my humans were safe. Creating an entire copy of the Earth and everything/everyone on it took a lot outta me. Souls? There were none. They were copies after all. But they all had a copy of the Minds and Brains of whoever they'd been before. So they wouldn't even notice a difference. And once they went around having kids and such, the next generation would have Souls. I knew this from my experiments with the Penis Planet™. And after a few generations, no one would even know that there was anything missing to begin with.

That way… I could have my Earth all to myself. Whether or not Time Baby agreed to it.

I shuddered once the Deal ran its course, the new dimension Glossaryck made for me to place the Earth (and the planetary systems around it, an entire galaxy and all) filled with my energy as I poured myself into it. (The Earth was populated by perfect, but soulless, copies of the humans in my current Earth. The lack of souls wasn't an issue, they wouldn't even notice a difference.)

And as I finished, I noticed Glossaryck staring at me. "What?" I asked, a little uncomfortable. This guy was really creepy, y'know?

"Would you like to be my apprentice?"

It took me a few seconds to really register that. "Excuse me, what?"

"You've got the highest magical potential I've ever seen in anyone. Even more so than Eclipsa had been." He was staring at me, unblinkingly.

And it was around then that I realized it. Glossaryck is a God of Magic. So saying, he wanted to raise people with magical potential. And… humans were a special sort of species. They had near infinite potential. It's why I loved them so much. Their creative little minds that could go so far if they were just given a chance to learn and grow-

...and Glossaryck felt the same, didn't he?

Things in his dimension were… stagnant, before he abducted my humans. He gave them magic and let them go to town, changing things everywhere in his realms. And they invented new spells, messing with the magic that he was and had gifted them. Forming it all into something new-

He just wanted people to learn and change and grow, just like I did.

...so why was he looking at ME like that? I sputtered, having trouble handling this. I mean, a god having another god as an apprentice wasn't… unheard of… but I've never had someone ask me before. And he was serious. He… really wanted me?! Why? Because I had magical potential? Buddy, I'm made of pure energy.

He hadn't looked away, even as I struggled to try and work through his thought process for this. "Wait so… you want… me to…?"

"I want to teach you magic. I want to see you create new spells. You're a god of Knowledge, wouldn't you like to learn?" He asked, not sounding like he was very interested, his tone was pretty much always a level of 'meh' for everything. But I could see the glint in those large bulbous eyes of his.

...I mean, I did want to learn.

"...let's talk terms."

I floated in front of the crystal entrapping Eclipsa. I didn't know her very well, was too busy with other stuff to check on her. And it wasn't like she'd caught my interest back then. I mean I got summoned for a Deal, and that was about it. But I do feel kinda bad about all this. I feel like this situation she was in could have been prevented. Well, no reason why I couldn't fix it now. Wouldn't be hard to break her out. Though I didn't actually do that yet. First of all, I need to find her daughter. That was probably more important. I Looked to check on when I wanted to get her. So as to grab her before too much time had passed in her personal timeline.

Didn't take long to find her, a little girl with curly hair, bundled up in blankets. Oh! She's got a tail! It's sooooo cuuute! Look at this adorable baby! Ahhhhh! I peered over the crib, watching the sweet little thing sleep. I glanced around, seeing that there was no one else in the room. But I could See the robot in the other room. A robot mom? Really? I mean, I have nothing against robots, but this one… was not meant for child-care. Fuck, even my Care Units were better made than this shit.

Anyway. I took the baby. Yes. I was stealing babies. Actually… I looked down at the baby in my arms. Fey abducted children and left their own behind, yes? I wasn't a Fey but I also didn't want to raise a fuss if the robot mom noticed the baby gone. She might alert the Magic High Commission or something like that. So I narrowed my eye and put together a bundle of scrap metal and made a little robot baby. I mean, would robot mom even notice a difference?

I held the sleeping child close and Blinked away back to the Death Star. I placed the baby down in a new bedroom I formed with a wave of a hand. And then I left the room and slid against the wall to the ground, groaning. Now what? Ok, think Bill, think. I could… go and free Eclipsa… but then what? I could free her lover as well… but… they couldn't go back to Mewni. Nevermind the smear campaign of people calling Eclipsa some kinda evil witch- the Monster vs Mewman war was still ongoing and it wasn't about to stop anytime soon. I have no fucking clue why the Magic High Commission was all for it? I mean, Eclipsa and her boyfriend could have been a good step in the right direction for finally making peace, but why...

I admit, I don't really understand politics, but this wasn't just politics. This was the Magic High Commission stepping in and saying that they had some sort of right to govern these people! Uuuughhh it was a mess that I wanted no part of.

But think about it. What would happen if I freed Eclipsa?

Well, she'd naturally want her throne back right? She IS the rightful queen of Mewni. But Eclipsa's return would get the Magic High Commission to take her down again. Uggggh. Why wasn't that damn blue idiot taking any control over his Angels? He created them! They were born from his power, he has a responsibility! But noooo he just… lets them do whatever! And I had no idea what the hell their game is. Why prolong this war? What are they getting out of this?!

I can't understand their motive here. What did they get out of continuing this fighting and killing and oppression? Well, they allied themselves with the Mewmen. So they just want to be on the 'winning' side? But if the war ended… they weren't gonna be as important to the royal family as advisors… perhaps? That still didn't make much sense to me.

I know Free Will is a thing, and for Angels, Free Will is difficult, because if their God wanted them to do something and pulled on their bond to make it happen, it would. But it appeared my new teacher wanted none of that. In fact, their bond was so untouched that his Angels didn't even obey anything he said verbally to them. It was so… irresponsible.

But Glossy didn't care, now did he? No, all he really seemed to want was people using and exploring magic, into new forms and spells and such. So… wait...

I paused.

War sucked. The dying and killing? They all sucked.

But nothing inspired innovation like fighting to stay alive and one step ahead of the 'enemy'.

Was I getting this all wrong, and Glossaryck actually wanted the war to continue as a way of pushing people into getting all creative? Did he allow for Eclipsa to be taken out because she could have stopped the war and brought peace?

...No. As much as Glossaryck had his own issues, he wanted to remain neutral. Whoever owned his Book owned him, technically. He was capable of putting in the minimal effort into things after all.

Which once more brought me to the question of, why did Glossaryck want me as his apprentice? He already had the current princess (queen?) of Mewni as his student. But suspicious as I was, I didn't want to turn down a chance to learn. So I agreed to be his student, but it was an informal thing. I had no obligations to him or vice versa. We would meet up for lessons whenever I felt like coming over.

He wanted me to write down my spells somewhere, but I wasn't a princess or queen of Mewni so I didn't get to use his Book. Nor did I want to use his Book. I didn't even want to make a book at all. Not one that could be left lying around just anywhere with all the magical secrets inside. I didn't care much for operational security, but even I could tell what a bad idea that would be! I shook this off, wait, I had gone wildly off topic.

Ok, what to do with Eclipsa?

I could save her and just… send her to live somewhere with her boyfriend in peace, raise their kid? Ah no, she would want to get back to her kingdom, and I couldn't just trap her! But if I let her go she's gonna have to fight against the magic high commission and-

I groaned and buried my face in my tiny noodle hands. Why was life so complicated?! Uuuuugh! I mean, I could help her fight off the commission and all that, but… Uuuuggghhh!

You know, this is all my new teacher's fault for not reigning in his Angels more. But whatever. If he's not gonna deal with it, I guess I'll have to.

I mean, I could explain this to Eclipsa and have her decide what to do? And if she gets caught and Sealed again, then… I guess that's just how it'd be. As much as that sucks. I really didn't want to have to fight their damn war for them. Uuggghhh...

Well, I could just keep thinking myself into circles, or I could go grab Eclipsa and her boyfriend and free them to ask them what to do. You know what, if all else fails, I could just make a new place for people to live, like with the Island. I mean, people had issues because of the space issue and stealing land from each other. Ugh. I hate fixing other people's problems.

Look on the bright side! This will be practice for when mommy gives me permission to take over the Earth and get rid of the stupid mean people who refuse to get along! I know she'll do it eventually. With the shitshow happening on Earth over in Seb's dimension, she'll crack sooner or later. Either by giving me the go ahead to fix things my own way, or take over as the new god. Who knows? I'm fine with either one to be honest.

Ok, time to go free Eclipsa and leave an empty copy in her place so no one realized I broke her out!

(One spinning screen transition later!)

Eclipsa collapsed with a gasp. Yeesh. I hope she wasn't conscious in there. Encased in a crystal prison must have suuuuucked~

"Heeey Eclipsa! Long time no see?" I greeted cheerfully. "Queen sent me. She was worried about where you've been!"

"Uuuughgghghghh…."

"I can see you're still kinda out of it because of the whole, being trapped in crystal for like… two to three generations?" I shrugged. "I lost track of time, sorry I didn't get here sooner."

Eclipsa heaved a breath, rolling over on the ground and reaching a hand toward the far wall. "Bee….for…."

"Huh?"

She continued gasping. "Bee...for…"

I looked over at the wall she was reaching for. Oh. A snack machine! "You want… B4?"

She nodded vigorously, looking kinda desperate. Wow. I mean, she hasn't eaten in years, so that was a thing. "Right. Hang on…" I floated over and looked at the snack. Erm… change…. Change… did I have any change? Oh right! I smacked myself for being an idiot and rotated my wrist, slipping some dust together into a coin to poke into the sloth and clicked the button. The machine whirled and stopped before the candybar made it out. "Oh COME on!" I kicked it a few times and it fell. Geez! Stupid things.

I floated back over with the snack in hand (oh hey, a snookers bar) and she tore into it ravenously. I materialized a glass of water and placed it beside her. She made a humming, mumbled sound of thanks as she snatched that too for a few sips and wolfed down the rest of the snack. "...do you need any more food? I can get more?" I asked as I floated down to sit on a nearby crystal.

"...maybe…" She sipped her water. "How long has it been?"

"I dunno, like… over 30 years or something?" she spat out the mouthful of water and sputtered, "30 years?!" Then she cleared her throat and continued drinking. "So… Bill Cipher, long time no see." She said, sitting back and looking casual as you please."

I could have gone all 'Bill Cipher' on her, with the theatrics and confidence and stuff, but I wasn't up for it. "Hi. Um… so… are you ok?"

"I was crystalized for 30 years, I doubt I'm any definition of ok." She told me simply. "Yeah, that's fair." I flicked my bowtie a few times. "So, I figured, I'd come here, break you out, swing by and grab your husband too?"

Eclipsa's eyes widened. "And my daughter?"

"I got her first. She's safe." I assured her. Eclipsa heaved a sigh of relief. "Well then, let's go." She got up, wobbling a little as she got used to walking again. I blinked. Then I looked back at the empty crystal and formed a false Eclipsa to replace her. I even put her in the same position and everything. Then I floated over to catch up with Eclipsa. "If you go right out there, you're gonna get caught. Come on…" I held out my hand. "Want to go get your husband first, or go see your daughter?"

"My daughter." Eclipsa grimaced. "Though, wouldn't she be all grown up by now?"

"Eh… no? I can travel through time, I got her right after she was sent away from Mewni after you and Globby(?) got crystalized."

"Globgor." Eclipsa corrected. "Right. Well, I didn't like the idea of her growing up without you so-" I was interrupted by Eclipsa's gasp as she finally processed the rest of my sentence, "Wait, sent away?!"

"Yeah. Shitspants," (She didn't correct me on his name.) "Didn't want to raise your daughter since she was half monster so he sent her away and they grabbed some random commoner girl."

"What?!" Eclipsa seemed rather horrified for a moment, and only the fact that I'd assured her that her daughter was safe, kept her from being more upset. She calmed quickly. "Well, good for her. She can have the throne." Eclipsa grumbled. I blinked slowly. "...um…" Oh, ok. I thought she'd complain about someone else taking the throne or something. "So you don't mind not being Queen anymore?"

Eclipsa made a very posh 'tut'ing sound. "I'm not powerful enough to take on the Magic High Commission anyway, so there's no point in attempting to reclaim my kingdom." I frowned. "But… what about the war?" Eclipsa shrugged. "It's been over 30 years. Besides, I'm sure with my capture, the Magic High Commission has already settled all that."

I made an uncomfortable sound. "The war's… not… quite over. I mean, they say it's over, but the conflicts are still happening." Eclipsa grumbled under her breath at this. "Well, I would like to get my family back together for now." She sniffed, fluffing her hair and pulling herself up primly.

"...right. Well," I held out my hand. "Hold on tight, don't want you to get lost during transport…" She seemed confused for a moment. "You don't have dimensional scissors?"

"Don't need them." She shrugged at my response and took my hand as I Blinked the two of us away to find her husband.

"Oh…" Eclipsa walked up to the large crystal and pressed her hand against it. I hung back, letting her have all the time she needed to-

"Can you free him?" She asked. "Well, of course you can." she corrected herself. "What would you need from me, to free him?" She turned to face me. "In fact, what's in all this for you? Why did you even free me to begin with?"

"Queen's worried about you." I said honestly. She stared me straight in the eye. "But what's in it for you?"

What am I supposed to say about that? "I felt like it." then I added, "I was curious."

That seemed to click something for her, and Eclipsa covered her laugh behind a dainty hand. "Well then, I suppose feeding your curiosity is a good enough price for your help." I couldn't quite tell if she was making fun of me? Either way, I pointed at the crystal and melted it down, freeing the giant monster.

As the couple had their tearful reunion, I took a glance around the area. Yeesh, certainly hasn't been used in a while. I flicked my fingers to repeat the creation of a 'dummy' inside the crystal, so the Magic High Commision didn't suspect anything. Globgor was staring at the copy of himself in awe. Then he turned to me. "I don't know what kind of monster you are, but, thank you."

"...I'm a demon?" I shrugged. I suppose, to him, I must seem like some kind of monster? Actually, what even was the difference between a Mewman and a Monster? I mean, they had that subset of Mewman that were essentially demons. The Lucitor clan? Eh… magic exposure did all sorts of weird things to those original humans who came here. And mating between humans and monsters happened. A lot. Enough to diversify the gene pool to even make the different clans. What was even the difference between Monsters and Mewman? Ugh… I rubbed my bricks around my eye, this was giving me a headache. I'm just gonna put this issue aside for now.

"Ok, I've got Meteora safe back home, let's go." I held out my hands and Globgor shrank down to a less intimidating size to take my hand, looking a little confused, but also hopeful. Gosh he was adorable, I can see why Eclipsa chose him.

As I watched the young couple fuss over their child, I mimicked the sound of clearing my throat. "So, what're you two planning to do now?"

Eclipsa huffed. "I don't really care, as long as I can be with my family. Globgor on the other hand, looked uncomfortable. "I'm worried about the war, my people-" and Eclipsa's expression softened. "I do want to help them, but… I can't take on the Magic High Commission on my own." she sent me a look, but I shook my head. "I don't want to get in conflict with them either."

"It's fine, you've already done more than enough to help me." Eclipsa sighed. "I don't know what I want to do right now." You and me both. I floated a little closer. "Well, if you need somewhere to stay, you're welcome here for as long as you'll need?"

"Oh we couldn't." Eclipsa shook her head. "We've troubled you enough."

"It's no trouble-"

"It's really fine. I… I would like to go see Queen. Let her know I'm alright."

I nodded at that. "I can send you to her dimension for now. If you figure out what you want to do after that, you know how to call me." The couple nodded at that. "I'm going to start training again." Eclipsa sighed. "Until I'll be able to protect my family next time."

Well, you do you. I literally had no idea what to do. Globgor wanted to return to Mewni, he didn't want to leave the Monsters to continue fighting without him. And I could understand that. But I didn't know how to help them right now without just going in and exerting my power over the populace. I wasn't supposed to do that anymore, right? It's what I was figuring was the issue with me. Well, the thing with 'evacuating' people away from the source of danger seemed to be alright to do. So perhaps… once Eclipsa and Globgor were more confidant, we could see about getting the Monsters out of there and into a place where they could live without issue?

(I mean, I know the other issue is that the Monsters wouldn't want to leave, why should they give up their lands to their invaders? That's the thing I'll need to figure out.)

Well, this was all making me more upset than it should. So I'm heading back to Seb's side before it gets bad.