Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit from my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.
Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.
I no longer have a beta, so all mistakes are my own.
2042
Age 50
Gabby woke up the next morning in an empty bed. She tried not to feel defeated. He may have gone to the clubhouse and gotten drunk and passed out. Or maybe he found a younger woman and screwed her till they both passed out. Maybe both. She pushed those thoughts out of her head and got up to get ready for work.
The last thing she did before leaving the room was check her phone. Maybe, just maybe, she missed a message from him. No such luck.
She peaked in on Matthew out of habit, and closed his bedroom door so she wouldn't wake him making noise in the kitchen. She descended the stairs slowly and made her way to the coffee maker.
"What the hell are you doing up so early?" Casper grumbled from the couch in the living room when the coffee maker started to sputter.
Gabby was so relieved to see him she pushed all thought of him choosing the couch over their bed out of her mind.
"I have work. Would you like some coffee?" She held up an empty mug.
"No." He grumbled again and put a pillow over his face.
Gabby slid her shoes off to be a little quieter and opted for jam on cold bread instead of toast to keep herself that much quieter. She filled her to go mug as soon as she could and carried her shoes to the garage, juggling her briefcase, breakfast, and coffee.
She took a deep breath as she set her things down in the car. He came home. He came home last night. Her bed was empty, but he slept under her roof. Maybe it was as good as she could expect on their first night.
Casper was again woken by his son clomping down the stairs in his boots an hour later. He distinctly remembered the thunder his kids used to cause running up and down those stairs, but he couldn't smile at the memory.
He stayed quiet this time as Matthew made breakfast and drank coffee. Quiet and invisible. When Matthew left the house, he got up and made his way upstairs to his bedroom. He eyes the mattress wistfully, but made his way to the shower instead.
He thought of his to do list while he dried off and pulled out clothes. First and foremost, he wanted to go to the DMV and get his license. He wasn't technically on parole, since he had served his full term, but he didn't want another charge looming over his head when it could be so easily avoided.
Next, he was going to sit down with Vin and Frankie. He had yet to discuss with them where he would be working. Both in and out of the club. He had always worked at Frankie's mechanic shop, but he was decent on the construction equipment when needed. As for the club, someone had certainly taken over the tech work. And even if they hadn't, he was so out of touch with the current technology he wouldn't be able to hack into a damn library.
Then he needed to figure out where he was going to stay. He loathed the dorms. And staying with Shark was definitely out. Tom Tom had Becky, and Suzie had yet to move out. He didn't think any of the old timers would put up with him. Mitch had an old lady, and he really didn't know the guy. Tony and Lance, he wasn't even sure where they were staying. He knew Tony a little better than Lance, but neither very well. And that only left Bull. Bull, who after 20 years had at some point finally gotten his own place. Bull, who couldn't hold on to a girlfriend to save his damn life. Or he could stay at home.
Home meant access to a guilty wife and sure sex. Good cooking too. But being in the house after all these years, his little kids no longer running around and screaming, made his skin crawl. And Gabby's love struck eyes, her give it to me, I'll take anything from you attitude, it made him feel like dirt. He couldn't look at her and not think of all the time he lost. He couldn't look at her and not think of every fist that connected with his face in that damn prison.
But more importantly, he couldn't look at her and not see the heavy weight of guilt on her shoulders. Couldn't forget the epic letters she used to send him every week. He couldn't forget how she looked holding their baby son, hugging his little girl. And he hated himself for it. Life would be so much simpler if he could hold on to his anger.
Casper waited in the clubhouse for Vin to show up. He chatted with Frankie, about nothing really, other than current events. Frankie seemed old. Casper tried to do the math. He was younger than Tig, but not by much, he was maybe 70. Half the club was over retirement age. He was over 50 himself. He lost half his damn life, his prime years.
Anger rolled out of him and blocked his ears. 20 years in prison, because of one damn fist fight. He missed his kids growing up, because one damn woman showed up at his door crying.
"Casper?" Frankie asked, as he realized the man wasn't listening to him.
"Yeah?" Casper shot back.
"Vin's here." Frankie nodded to the door, and stood up with his whiskey. "We'll talk in the chapel."
Vin and Casper followed Frankie into the chapel. They sat at the table and stared at each other a moment. Vin cleared his throat.
"How was being home last night?" Vin asked, gaging the man. "Eat well, sleep well?"
"Something like that." Casper mumbled.
"Right, you want to talk about work." Vin cleared his throat again.
"I've always got openings at the garage. With the men coming and going like they do, there's always work to be done. If that's what you want." Frankie started.
"Matthew has Egg's landscaping business up and running again. Just about full time, as much as he can with just himself at least. Commercial and residential properties. You could jump in on that, if you wanted." Vin continued.
"The construction business has been a bit slow. With the new union rules, are guys aren't working the machines as much, just renting them out."
Casper nodded his head. "I guess I'd like to go back to the garage."
"Then it's done. No problem. You can head over there this afternoon." Frankie agreed.
"What about the club?" Casper asked.
"What do you mean, you got your license, so you got your vote back. It's as easy as that." Vin answered.
"I guess I was wondering about my place."
"Oh, well, tech corner is yours if you want it back. We've been muddling through mostly with the younger guys." Casper nodded his head at Vin and ran a hand down his face.
"Anything else, son?" Vin asked him.
"I guess not."
"I know it's difficult, it's just gonna take some time to adjust. Spend some time with Matthew, bond with him man to man. Take a trip down to Houston, surprise Kristen. Let Gabby dote on you a while. Things will get easier." Vin assured the younger man.
"Yeah, right."
Shark knocked on Gabby's office door promptly at 1, lunch hour. He let himself in at her signal.
"Hey Gabs!" He said cheerfully and held up the salad and iced tea he had picked up for her. "You eat yet? Got your favorite, cranberry and almonds on the salad." He shook the bag as he sat down on the couch against the wall.
Gabby got up from her desk and sat down next to him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Just wanted to surprise you." Shark gave her a 100 watt smile and started pulling food out of the bags. "How are things going?"
"You mean how did last night go?" She asked him directly.
"Well, yeah I suppose. Last night, this morning, all the time between the last time I saw you."
"It went…fine last night. At first. I think, anyway."
"At first?" Shark eyes her suspiciously.
"He left, said he wanted to go for a ride. Came back some time after midnight, slept on the couch."
"You have a nice couch." He tried to joke.
"He's different. I knew he would be, but he's really different."
Shark nodded his head as he started to eat. "I get that. I did 5 back in Florida, I'm sure I came out a little rougher than I went in."
"Rougher is probably the right word for it." Gabby mumbled as she opened her salad.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shark asked sharply.
"Nothing. He's just different, he's not… he's not 30 year old Casper playing on the floor with his kids."
"No, I suppose he's not." Shark set his food down and took a drink.
"I knew he wouldn't be. I guess I should be happy he came home with me at all."
"Don't count yourself short Gabby, you're a catch. He'd be an idiot not to go home and try to work things out."
"Thanks. But let's face it. I'm old. I'm fat. I have wrinkles. Casper came home built like a tank. He can walk into any bar he wants and pick up a 25 year old beauty."
"STOP." Shark demanded. "You're 50. You're not old. I'm not old, and I'm older than you, so you aren't old. And you're not fat. You're gorgeous."
"I'm not the size I was when he went away."
"So you put on, what? 10 pounds in 20 years? Gabby, you're a knockout. And I don't want to hear about you having wrinkles. You have some laugh lines on your face, after a life of sun and smiles you should."
"You're being ridiculous." Gabby blushed.
"I'm being honest. You thought he went to pick up another woman when he left last night?"
"The thought crossed my mind. A couple dozen times."
"No way. Casper has been loyal to you since day one. He's not gonna stray."
Gabby stabbed at her salad. "That was the old Casper. This Casper can't stand the sight of me."
Shark put his food down once more and grabbed Gabby's chin. "That is not true. You remember who you are Gabby, and don't you let him treat you as anything less."
Gabby came right home after work and busied herself preparing another one of Casper's favorite meals. She wanted it warm out of the oven when he came home, but had no idea what time that would be. She gauged the clock. He could come right home, yeah right, or stay for a beer, or stay for the whole evening, she had no way of knowing. She threw the casserole in the oven at 6:30, done with waiting for him.
The quiet house was giving her too much time and room to think. What if he didn't come home? Should she text him? Should she just go to the clubhouse and act casual? Sit down and have a drink with him like the old days when she would get a sitter? Would he want her there? Would he be with one of the sweet butts? She didn't want to walk in on that.
Matthew came home at 8 and Gabby tried her damndest not to jump on him to find out where Casper was. They sat together and ate dinner, Matthew filled her in on his day. He mentioned off hand Casper was still watching the game at the clubhouse when he left.
As soon as he was out of the room, Gabby googled all the games playing. The latest one ended at 9. She would put off panicking until 10.
She gave up at 11 and started to head up the stairs. She froze when she heard Casper pull into the garage. She walked into the living room and sat casually on the couch. She opened her phone and took a deep breath. Was she really putting on a show for him?
He came in through the garage door with heavy footsteps. He had been drinking. She knew those footsteps. He headed to the kitchen and filled up a large glass of water.
"There's chicken and stuffing casserole in the fridge." She raised her voice just slightly so he would hear her from the other room.
Casper didn't respond. He took his water to the den and shut the door.
Gabby blew out a breath and went up to bed. Another night sleeping alone.
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