Notes.
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CHAPTER LI
" Sweet December's coming 'round
The city's big but all I've found
Is you're the truest thing in this town
And I want you now"
(The Paper Kites, australian artists, "Nothing more than that")
a. Deucalion and Pyrrha
It took the equivalent of an eternity, according to Mago's personal and totally non-exaggerated estimations, between the moment when the girl had asked them to wait for her and the moment when she finally came back, still running, her face even redder than when she had stopped in front of them, but this time followed by a tall man dressed in a dark blue military uniform, on whom all the glances of the daily visitors of the capital unanimously and circumspectly turned.
In accordance with the girl's request, she and Yeo Woon had not moved from the main road, and although they had stepped away from the place where she had expressed her wish so as not to block the passage of people entering or leaving the capital, they had nevertheless remained as visible as possible. Mago, after the first few minutes of waiting, had sat on the edge of the road, taking advantage of the small elevation there and putting her arms on her knees, then her chin on her wrists. Yeo Woon remained standing.
She didn't even have to look at him or ask him a question to know he was on edge, but she couldn't tell if the tension he was displaying, without being able to contain it, was of the right or the wrong kind. She called "the right kind" the tangy, pungent apprehensions that would seize you before a pleasant event with a lot at stake, such as a dance demonstration by a very young gisaeng, or a boy's first hunt, or a long-awaited encounter.
As for the "bad tension", it had for Mago that sticky and heavy aspect, like mud or molasses, in which you would have been forced to roll before facing a potentially dangerous or unpleasant situation in a general way, like a duel against an opponent, an execution, or, again, a meeting, but which would have been unfortunate this time.
When at last the girl came back, out of breath but visibly radiant, accompanied by the friend she had mentioned, Mago finally got her answer. As she stood up with a certain slowness, retaining a hint of skepticism about the loyalty of the two living who were heading towards them, she then noticed that Yeo Woon had stopped twisting his hands, and the impatience and surprise on his face had been replaced by a sudden fear, complex, which was particularly legible in his dark, widened eyes and the delicate space between his half open lips, which seemed to be looking for a decent greeting or word, without finding one that would have suited the situation.
The girl reached them staggering, looking even worse than after her first run, but she was glowing, and smiled broadly, as if she had just performed a miracle or found a solution to a long unresolved problem. Baek Dong Soo, since that was his name, came more slowly towards them, with a caution that she found for a moment dubious, but which turned out to be simply caused by the same turmoil that agitated Yeo Woon.
- See ? The kid was panting. See ? I told you it was him, I told you.
His companion mumbled something and tapped her shoulder, albeit a little distractedly. He was much taller up close, with broad shoulders, and without the traces of confusion and disarray that animated his face and made him look more gentle, Mago would probably have perceived him as an austere and uncompromising man, for he had a certain harshness in his eyes, and the corners of his mouth leaned more towards the bottom and an unsatisfied grimace than towards the formation of a smile.
He wore a hat with long peacock feathers and embroidery on his belt and sleeves which immediately reminded her of Captain Seo, and she was alarmed for a moment that the newcomer was so distinctly affiliated with the army and more particularly with the hunting of Gwishins (what if it's a trap ?).
But Yeo Woon hadn't moved, hadn't withdrawn at all when he discovered the attire of the man he had designated as his friend, and Mago wondered under what circumstances they had left each other, and if her master was more generally aware of the fact that Baek Dong Soo was leading a brigade. She also wondered about the possibility that the garment might have reminded him, even briefly, of Captain Seo from Sokcho and his awkward, heavy seduction.
They had hardly talked about it in China. It was one of those subjects which, between them, had remained strategically, and tragically, as closed as the gates of Hanyang in the middle of the night. It wasn't that Mago wouldn't have wanted to talk about it, but she felt a restraint in Yeo Woon that she wasn't comfortable enough with to come and break it.
The girl was catching her breath, with severe difficulty, hands on her hips, bust bent forward. Baek Dong Soo stopped in front of them, looking at both of them, but especially at Yeo Woon. The latter, petrified like a stone statue, seemed to be prey to such an internal conflict that Mago almost worried about it, if she hadn't been more focused on the evolution of the events and the risks they could potentially entail, and on her own survival.
But none of the living called the guard, none of them called them monsters, none of them drew a sword or a dagger, none of them tried to arm them with a torch. With the exception of the girl, who made enough noise for four, they were for a fraction of a second as if immobilized in time and space, and Mago understood that she was still waiting, in spite of herself, for her master or Baek Dong Soo to utter a word, anything, that would have allowed the atmosphere of upheaval that had crept in since the girl had apostrophied them earlier to subside.
- Woon-ah, Baek Dong Soo finally said, or rather sighed, with relief, with passion, with infinite gentleness.
Hearing his name, Yeo Woon seemed to emerge from his stillness, and his immobility broke with a trembling smile. The rest of his body didn't move an inch, but Mago, perhaps thanks or because of the connection they had established through the collective consciousness, could almost feel the unbearable tension in him, supposed to contain something infinitely more powerful and uncontrollable, a violent roar of his muscles and nerves that would have pushed him forward, no doubt towards Baek Dong Soo. She had never seen him react like this, so paralyzed in front of someone, and without this inhibition being the cause of his distant nature.
- Hi, he managed to articulate, and his voice was a little hoarse, very shy, and terribly wavering.
They stood face to face, looking at each other with almost painful attention, and Baek Dong Soo had his arms slightly stretched out in front of him as if he wanted to touch Yeo Woon, make sure he was real, or embrace him. Then his gaze, which until now had only grazed her, rested on Mago, and he turned to greet her with much dignity and more respect than most of the other seemingly grown-ups she had met before.
She was amused by it, without showing it, and responded to his greeting just as politely, keeping to herself the slight annoyance she had felt at being excluded once again from the first interactions.
- My name is Baek Dong Soo, he informed her, even though there was no real need. I'm a childhood friend of Yeo Woon.
Mago had the image of a young boy's face she had glimpsed among her master's floating thoughts, during the initial sessions in which they had tried to associate their two minds. The boy had sparkling and mischievous eyes, sometimes a sulky look, and he was stocky and wore his hair loose, in undisciplined curls. She was astonished to recognize him in the same tall, stilted looking man, for whom her master seemed to harbour an affection that to call simply friendship would most likely have been reductive and vaguely insulting.
- I'm Mago, she said in return. I'm Yeo Woon's student.
She held back a burst of laughter as she noted Baek Dong Soo's surprise.
- She's your student ? he asked Yeo Woon almost immediately, his eyes shuttling back and forth between the two, between teacher and student. You're teaching her martial arts ?
Mago's dead companion just nodded his head as confirmation.
- That's good, he said, in a tone that was both happy and sorrowful at the same time. That's good.
Then he hesitated, and asked with renewed eagerness :
- Are you all right ? I received your letter, you know. I kept it. Things have changed a lot here since you left. So much.
- Yes, that's what we heard, Yeo Woon said. I'm okay. And you ?
- Yes. Iseul told me she had seen you crossing the road. You... you were going somewhere ?
Yeo Woon took a look at Mago, consulting her. She shrugged her shoulders, believing that revealing their destination to this particular interlocutor wasn't one of those inconsiderate risk taking.
- In Suwon, her master then declared, giving his full attention back to Baek Dong Soo. We're looking for a way to enter Hanyang.
- Did you asked... Baek Dong Soo paused, seemingly searching for the most appropriate expression. Did you ask the other gwishins ? With the consciousness ?
Ah, so he knows about that, Mago thought, wondering whether it was a consequence of his friendship with Yeo Woon or, more worryingly, his position in Joseon's army.
- We did, her master confirmed to him. We had only one answer. It's been very quiet for some time, he observed in a darker tone.
- I know, Baek Dong Soo said, and then, approaching Yeo Woon, he asserted : Wooh-ah, I can get you in, if you want.
- You can ? Mago intervened.
- Yes.
- Would it be risky ? she asked.
- If I do it wrong, yes, he answered with a pragmatism that she appreciated. But less than false passports, or false burn marks. They occur almost every day. If you're not already on the register with the fire test proof, they'll automatically be suspicious.
- And you know that well, I suppose, Mago noted with a touch of sarcasm, referring to the uniform he was wearing.
- I do, he said, staring at her, as if to challenge her to question his word. Woon-ah, what do you think ?
Yeo Woon hardly expressed absolute disagreement to his proposition, but nevertheless wanted to know its details. Baek Dong Soo then suggested them not to travel to Suwon, to warn the old man of their change of plan, then questioned them on their possibility of being able to wait quietly in a secure place until dusk.
- We have a place, Mago's master confirmed to him, thinking most certainly of the abandoned house they had left earlier in the morning.
- In that case, go there, and wait until chuksi, Baek Dong Soo advised them. Or rather, no, the first hour of insi. Then, come to the north gate of Hanyang. You know, the one General Seol told us about, which is almost always closed except for royal travel. There aren't many guards, compared to these ones. I'll meet you there, and then I'll bring you in, I promise you. We'll go to my house. I'll hide you for as long as you stay.
- Dong Soo-yah, I don't want to bother you, Yeo Woon protested. Nor your wife. You've already done a lot for me, I don't want to impose myself, you don't have enough space.
- We do, Baek Dong Soo objected with a smile that reached up to his ears. Oh, Woon-ah, I told you that things had changed a lot since you left. I swear we have room for both of us. Yun-seo will be so happy to see you, and Yoo-jin too.
- You could get into trouble.
- No, Baek Dong Soo firmly promised him, wrapping Yeo Woon's arms at the elbow, drawing him imperceptibly closer to him, before concluding in a feverish, longing voice : And besides, I don't care. If you only knew how much I thought about it, Woon-ah, how much I imagined...
He fell silent, and Yeo Woon's expression was one of acute suffering, of a deep and wild desire mixed with modest reserve, of a yearning to see Baek Dong Soo finish his sentence. Get a room, Mago thought instinctively as she looked at them with growing interest and the increasing impression that she had literally ceased to exist. As for the other girl, Iseul, who was also looking at them with a slightly mocking curiosity, she could just as well have completely evaporated into the ether.
- All right, he dropped weakly, lowering his eyes, fleeing Baek Dong Soo's gaze. Okay, at Insi.
Then he seemed to remember that Mago was still there, and turned his head towards her.
- Do you agree ? he asked, probably more out of courtesy than out of any real consideration for her opinion.
Mago nodded her head while shrugging her shoulders, raising her hands in front of her to signal that the perspective was fine with her and that she could find nothing to complain about for the time being. In any case, she was convinced that her opinion would be ignored if she had dared to raise any criticism or doubts, although she found none in particular.
She then noticed that Baek Dong Soo's hands were sliding along Yeo Woon's arms to come and clasp his hands, which he had placed in front of him, joined together, in a kind of prudent shield between their two bodies.
- I'll see you tonight, then, he said, and in his happy, encouraging smile, there was the boy that Mago had seen in his master's head.
He seemed to hesitate, made a movement forward, and for a moment Mago thought he was going to lean over and kiss Yeo Woon, caring little for their small audience or the passers-by along the main road just opposite. It seemed to her that her dead companion, without reacting any further, would have let him do so, and perhaps responded to it.
Mago considered looking away, to give them a semblance of intimacy, but Baek Dong Soo finally just pressed Yeo Woon's hands with confidence, then he let them go and moved back, breaking the spell, but not without Mago noticing the sudden animation of her master's fingers, which sprang forward as if to hold Baek Dong Soo's.
- Iseul, called the latter. Go see Yun-Seo, tell her to give you the payment we discussed.
That's all it took. The girl, who seemed exhausted a second earlier, let out a shout of joy, jumped on her feet and rushed towards the doors, sneaking between the visitors with all the agility of a carp swimming between the stems of the water lilies. Baek Dong Soo, with a nod of his head, also took the road back to the capital. He turned around once during his return trip, meeting Yeo Woon's eyes, addressing him another smile.
Yeo Woon, motionless, kept following Baek Dong Soo's back with his eyes until he vanished inside Hanyang.
b. Tabula Rasa (only it's a lie)
In accordance with Dong Soo's indications, Mago and Woon went back up the forest trails to his father's dilapidated hanok, in order to settle there again while waiting for the scheduled time. Mago expressed, during their return trip, while traveling against the side of Danggeum, some contestations that she had probably kept for herself throughout their discussion with Dong Soo, and that she had preferred to save for a more favourable moment to express them.
Meetings or events in the Qinq had already pushed her to act in the same way : if there were certainly circumstances where she could be frank and, it had to be said, a little rude, she was nevertheless most often inclined towards confidences and opinions shared with trusted individuals in relative privacy. On more than one occasion, when they encountered walkers following the direction of a Manchurian city, and who happened to be going the same way as them, thus joining their progression from time to time, Mago had often approached him to ask him quietly what he thought of their new companions, however ephemeral they might have been.
She would then generally share her own opinion with him in a secretive tone. She never hid her hostility when she felt some, as it had been the case with Captain Seo, but she had never started an open conflict since Woon was traveling with her, and most of the time she adopted a silent attitude with a pouting face, depending on whether the person she was talking to seemed suspicious or not. It was easy to guess what she was thinking by watching the contractions of her face and the glow of her black eyes, but much less easy to force her to confess her actual point of view if she hadn't identified you as someone she could trust.
Consequently, Woon wasn't surprised by her comments about Dong Soo. She was particularly worried about his loyalty, because she had seen his uniform and the embroideries proper to his rank, which Woon had also recognized, and which he hadn't understood at first.
He had left Dong Soo as a brigade instructor, and the latter had briefly mentioned some responsibilities within the palace that he wasn't sure he wanted to take on, but had no recollection of hearing from him the slightest desire to join the anti-Gwishin patrols, and his initial reaction, even though quickly drowned in a maelstrom of nervousness, amazement, relief, contentment and tenderness, had been an overwhelming concern, an unpleasant and disconcerting observation, the idea of a (betrayal look what he did to us), of a rising to the surface of crooked and gray hands from the fine depths of his grave, which would have seized the roads between his ideas and would have implanted in them old questions never really solved, words left in the dark, a pungent taste of blood in his mouth, and Dong Soo's face when he had turned to him and asked, with distraught eyes (Woon did you do this ?).
They had been with him in China, like the delicate but incessant throbbing of the scar on his heart, and during their wandering, sometimes at night, when he was lying alone in his yo and Mago was all at her exercises of the collective consciousness, but also during the day, under the vast sky of the Qing, along the roads and unknown villages, they had been given a thousand opportunities to take shape, to distil, to whisper things (look).
They had dinner with some leftover meat that they had bought earlier from the villager who had discussed with them the identity check at the entrance to Hanyang, while keeping on the lookout in case a patrol came. Mago pointed out to him that she was hoping that Baek Dong Soo had enough supplies to satisfy their dead appetites (but voracious, she added with a finger in the air, very academic despite her young physical age), and Woon then remembered the latter's taste for meat, and his tendency, at a younger age, to finish gulping down the portions that Woon sometimes, or rather often, left for lack of appetite.
In this regard he, Cho-Rip and Dong Soo had separated the tasks quite well between themselves : Dong Soo being the insatiable stomach, Woon eating like a bird, and Cho-Rip being right in the middle, to the delight of their hosts, who were driven to despair with the other half of the culinary continuum they formed together. Dong Soo had never asked him why he ate so little, but regularly, at the end of the meals, he would take a look at Woon's portion, see how much work he still had to do, then point at it with his fingers and ask him evasively "Should I get rid of that for you, Woon-ah ?". Woon would slide his bowl or plate towards him, and watch him eat, marvelling that his companion, despite his pantagruelic habits, hadn't become as round and fat as a pig, minus the twisted tail and snout.
One day, as he had been drinking a little and eating to make up for it, reaping a remark from Woon that the latter didn't remember well, but which must have been about the imprudence of stuffing himself during the middle of the night, Dong Soo had told him "you know, I don't care about that, you'll always be my friend, even if you turn into a ball and become Joseon's fattest warrior". It had been stupid, and hadn't contributed to the debate in any way, but Woon had laughed and shook his head, and he thought he had called him an idiot in a tone that was a little too affectionate to be a total insult.
Later, on the way back down to the capital, when the moon was dimly lighting the roads, and holding tightly the bridle of the mare, who followed without fully understanding what was happening but with an imperturbable docility (are you sure her mother or father wasn't a cow or something ? Mago had once mocked her, her nose buried in Danggeum's mane, who was trying to respond to her affection with imprecise but touching headbutts), her student still expressed doubts about Dong Soo.
- Are you really sure that we can trust him ? she asked in a slightly more anxious tone as they approached the northern gates of the city.
- I promise, Woon tried to appease her for the umpteenth time since they had agreed to follow Dong Soo's idea. He helped me after my resurrection. If I had to entrust my life to someone, it would be him.
(what an irony)
The voice had the gaping eyes of the thing that had been born from the Herbalist's mixtures, with the (autumn leaves), and since their arrival in Qing, it clung patiently, and rushed into every breach of its reflections, in the slightest suspicion, in the smallest uncertainty that had come out of his grave at the same time as him.
The calm in front of the smaller and narrower doors was complete, and they saw two guards standing there, spades up in the air, conversing distractedly. They waited for a few moments, standing between the trees, not daring to move forward any further in the absence of Dong Soo. Woon felt that Mago was getting more and more nervous, and that she would perhaps suggest him to go back to Suwon as a precaution.
They had taken advantage of their repeated occupation of the house to dive back into the consciousness and warn the gwishin who had given them an earlier appointment, but had encountered difficulties to reach him, and their conversation had been fragmented, almost as much as when they had tried to establish a contact between them in Qing and the dead of Joseon. They thought they had succeeded in getting the essence of their message across, without mentioning that help had come to them from a living, but had heard echoes from the old man urging them to be cautious.
As the night grew dimmer, Woon also began to feel the pangs of a terrible apprehension, which had nothing to do with Dong Soo or his good faith, but rather with the possibility that Dong Soo had been prevented from bringing them in, and thus forced to postpone his attempt until another time. He regretted not having told Dong Soo where to find them in case he needed to send them a message.
- If he can't, maybe he'll send us the kid from earlier to warn us, Mago considered with an unexpected revival of confidence in Dong Soo.
Then she dropped, nipping Woon's previous observation in the bud :
- Or the army.
He didn't respond, staring at the northern gates and his guards, keeping his arms folded against his chest to contain their growing desire for movement and action, while his fingers began to impulsively pull on the threads of his tunic. He had always done so when he was particularly on edge, and Dong Soo had once threatened to hold his hand to stop him.
It was the surprising aspect of this threat, more than his aggressiveness, that had interrupted his agitation. When he was overwhelmed by impatience, Dong Soo, for his part, would stamp his foot, and Woon almost wanted to do the same, just to keep himself busy. It seemed to him that the time was extending, again, but not in a pleasant way though, like when he had seen Dong Soo again at the Spring House, after spotting him in the commercial street of the royal palace.
Finally, they saw a small opening appear in the doors, and someone's bust slipped into the gap, obviously to greet the two guards.
- Do you think it's him ? Mago became animated, getting up from the cross-legged seat she had adopted near Danggeum, while waiting, and discarding the strands of grass she was ripping out as she waited, with more and more abrupt gestures.
Woon motioned her to wait for confirmation. The silhouette that had appeared through the notch cut in the doors then came out, as if it had heard him, and Woon recognized Dong Soo's back in his civilian clothes, as well as the curls of his hair, some locks of which were held back and freed his forehead.
Dong Soo walked along the wide dirt road that started at the gates and continued toward the northern mountains, turning his head from right to left, visibly looking for something. Mago looked up with almost begging eyes at Woon. He then emerged from the shadows of the forest, taking his student and the mare with him.
- Dong Soo-yah, he called out, and as always, other things wanted to follow the name, and were prevented from expressing themselves by his almost immediately closed lips.
Dong Soo pivoted, smiled when he saw them both. He used to fight for me, Woon thought, madly, greedily, letting him approach after four years of separation.
