I thought it better if I split the chapter into smaller pieces. It means you get something and I have time to work on the rest :) I thought that this would be more complicated. Then, as I wrote it, it just came out this way. I could have gone into heavy detail about how everything unfolded, but I wanted to incorporate different scenes to explain it.


Carson stood outside of the library, his stomach in pieces as he tried to pluck up the courage to knock on the door. The conversation had been delayed in account of his Lordship's delicate state, and so Carson had spent the extra agonising hours going over how he was going to broach it in his head. It had been difficult to keep himself feeling level enough to come up with rational directions in his head. Not only that, but he had been out of the way from everyone up in his room. He had been told to take it easy, and he knew that if he was downstairs that he would have been even more distracted. People would have talked to him, he would have taken time to look at work and he would have been looking at Mrs Hughes non-stop. Having only been upstairs for a few hours he rotated between how the conversation was going to go downstairs, and how much he missed having her near. It was like being missing from a limb.

Taking in a deep breath, steadying himself against the worry in his chest, he gave the door a knock and waited for the signal to enter. Normally, when he was working, he would enter a room without rarely requiring any notification. As he wasn't working, and the matter at hand was delicate, he felt that he should be respectful.

"Come in."

Carson exhaled slowly and then lifted his shoulders back, adjusting his posture so that he appeared as confident as he normally did. Really, he was crumbling from the bottom upwards. When he tried to rationalise, he knew that really he hadn't got anything to worry about. No matter what they were going to be together. The only deviation from that would be where they would be together and what they would be working as. He also had savings that might keep them going for a short period of time. It would create a minor setback, but it would be worth it. It was all for her. Everything was for her.

"Carson," Robert said quietly. The skin on his face was pale in comparison to his usual colour, and he looked very tired. "I'm so sorry about delaying our chat. I have not been feeling all too smart today I have to say and I needed to rest. I drank far too much wine."

"Not at all, My Lord," Carson replied, moving over to the side of the room that his employer was standing on. A part of him wanted to comment on the wine that had actually been drunk in such alarming quantities, but he didn't want to potentially sour his mood.

"Now," Robert said, taking a seat, his legs not feeling as steady as they should be. "Take a seat."

"No, My Lord. I am happy standing." No matter what, Carson didn't think he could sit in his employer's presence. Carson was nervous. He thought that if he held his hands out in front of him they would be shaking. The collar on his shirt seemed to suddenly feel uncomfortable against his neck as if it had decreased in size by at least two inches.

"If you're sure." Robert sat looking up at Carson with a quizzical expression. It was rare that Carson wanted to talk to him about things outside of his normal working remit. The request for an audience seemed out of character, and he had worried almost that perhaps the strain of what had happened had finally been too much. Maybe he was going to take early retirement? Maybe he wanted to step aside?

Carson cleared his throat as if his words were restricting his air movement, choking him before they could exit. It felt like it was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. "My Lord. My job is very important to me, and I have grown fond of everything that I do here. I enjoy serving you as a family, and I enjoy making sure that the walls of this glorious home stay standing as tall as they can for as long as possible. I have lived a great life, and up until now, I have been content with it-"

"Don't tell me you're leaving me, Carson, for this sounds like a speech of regret." Robert would have gotten to his feet if he suddenly didn't feel like he was going to vomit. The hangover still teetering on the edge of complete control, and then the sudden anxiety of potentially losing his Butler seemed to merge into a torrent inside.

"No, My Lord," Carson said flatly, waving the idea away. This needed to be done quickly so he could get everything out in one motion. It was easier that way. "If I may?"

"Sorry. I'm sorry."

"It has come to my attention that there has been something missing from my life. Something that I have been ignoring for far too long. It's common in this job to move into it headfirst, to savour the learnings and become immersed in this life. So many of us Butlers are single men, never having settled down or having a family of our own. We treat the family we serve as an extension of our own, so to speak, and I more than many, most certainly find myself in that situation."

The cogs in Robert's eyes could be visible from the other end of the estate, his mind going through potential possibilities and ideas. "We do work you frightfully hard. It must be hard to find someone when you spend so much time here. Are you asking for us to give you less to do? Reduce your hours? Give you more respite?"

"There is someone, My Lord. Someone that I have grown to care so very deeply for. With everything that has gone on, it has made our relationship even more prominent and even more important. She is everything that I want in my life. She is everything that I need. I wanted to speak to you today about my intentions at this moment." Carson paused to make sure that he was giving his full eye contact when he spoke. "I wish to marry, Mrs Hughes, My Lord. I know it's not right to have two people running a home that are romantically intertwined, and I will accept whatever decision you make. I wanted to talk to you face to face so that you know about where we stand, My Lord, and give you the respect you deserve in the matter. I know it may come as a shock, and I will be the first to admit that it's taken me by full force over the past week. I want to do the right thing by you, by this house and by her."

Robert's mouth sat open as his mind processed what it was that was being said. Searching his memory he tried to think of the things that he had missed. Had this been going on for a long time? Was it new? No wonder she had been going down to the hospital so diligently. No wonder she had looked so awful in the days he had been in hospital. "Well blow me down with a feather," Robert said, moving to stand, regardless of how his stomach was feeling. "I had no idea. None in the slightest. Either you have been doing a wonderful job of keeping this from me, or it's new."

Carson's face flushed at the notion that he had been hiding anything and sneaking around for months with Mrs Hughes, like teenagers doing something they shouldn't. Granted, the night before they had, but that was a little different. There was an element of annoyance in his employer's voice, but to what degree he couldn't tell. It made him feel sick. "My Lord," Carson said, taking a breath before he continued. "I am going to be frank. I think I have worked for you long enough to do so if you will permit me?"

"I think in this instance, it would be best." Robert was wondering what was going to happen in his mind. Would they both leave him? Would he be without the most experienced people in his home? Having Carson leave would be a blow of the largest magnitude. To throw Mrs Hughes into the mix too, who had shown that she was most capable when required, would be like sawing off both of his arms.

"Thank you, My Lord. For many years I have been very fond of Mrs Hughes and I have never acted on my feelings because I know where I stand in the hierarchy in this world. I know my position in this home and I know the propriety that is associated in doing the job that I do. It is not commonplace for the Butler to be involved, so to speak, with another member of staff. I know how improper it may sound, and myself of all people understand the volatility of societal impression. I would not wish to bring anything negative on this house and the people inside of it. However," Carson said, inhaling through his nose. It felt like he was giving a goodbye speech by his interpretation of Robert's facial expression. "I love her, My Lord. We have danced around each other for years in mutual ignorance on how the other felt. The only secrets that we have been keeping are from each other. We have not been doing anything behind your back, My Lord. I think the situation that unravelled that ended up with my unfortunate head injury shook us both and made us realise how much we really mean to each other." Carson took in a deep breath and thought about her for a moment. There he pictured her beautiful face, her warm smile and her electrified touch on his old cold skin. "I love her, My Lord. With everything that I have. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."


"And then he said that if he had to leave his role within the home to be with her then that was what step he had to take. He would understand if the decision from myself was to give him his leave or give both of them their leave because he would do whatever it takes to spend the rest of his life with her."

Cora, who had been hanging onto Robert's words with intense concentration adjusted herself so that she was sitting upright on her side of the bed. The surprise had left her with her mouth hanging open, taking stock of the situation and what it really meant. "Oh my, Robert. What did you say back to him?"

"What do you think I said?" Robert tilted his head and reached out to take her hand, needing some reassurance. "Do you think me as such a man that would deny the man that saved my daughter's life a chance at true happiness? Even if it is with Mrs Hughes."

"Well, I don't know. I know that the English are all about propriety!" Cora squeezed his hand tightly and shifted herself so she was pressed against his warm body. It all made sense in her mind now when thinking about how terrible she had been looking when Carson was in the hospital. Thinking about what she would be like if the roles had been reversed, and she had been witness to her husband in the hospital she would have been the same.

"My Darling. I am not a cold man. I know a handful of things. Carson is a Butler like no other, and I would be absolutely ridiculous to send him away for loving a woman, who I might add is also very good at her job. I could have separated them and given Mrs Hughes her notice, but then that would just be horrid. I know that the pair of them would never impede their work, regardless. I also know if I sent Carson away that I would never hear the end of it from Mary, and given everything that has happened I don't want to rock any more boats. In fact, if I did that I think she would hate me. I'm getting too old to deal with all of this stress. I want a simple and peaceful life. The world is changing. Things like this are happening more and more, and I see no issue with it as long as the work gets done. Do you agree, my dear?"

Cora smiled. "You're a good man, Robert Crawley. I do agree. Carson risked his life to save Mary with no fear of his own mortality. And let's be realistic, it's probably frightfully lonely being up there night after night on your own. I am actually a little taken aback by it. I would have never imagined Carson speaking so...openly and almost so romantically. And it being Mrs Hughes?' Cora paused to think about a life without love, and how wonderful it was to have her own little piece that was just for her. It would be nice for Carson to be happy because he had given so much for so long. "Who wouldn't want to be happy? Who wouldn't want to share their life with someone special? It's almost like something out of romance novel. The tale of two workers, drawn together in unexpected unity under one roof."

"Well, these things don't normally get publicised as being something out of a romance novel." Robert lifted his arm up so she could tuck herself in against him properly. "Are you happy?" Robert said out of his puppy dog eyes, lifting up her hand to kiss her knuckles. "I hope I make you happy. For there is nothing that I would not do for you." Robert smiled as he felt her reach up to rub his cheek with her hand, softly moving her fingers over his jaw and up towards his eyes.

"Silly man," she cooed, leaning up to kiss him gently on his lips. "You make me very happy."

"Good," he whispered, returning the kiss with a little more fervour now that he was feeling almost human. "Who would have thought it, hmm? Carson and Mrs Hughes?"

"The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. The more I'm happy for him. They've worked together for years and they likely know each other better than most people would at the start of a relationship. And marriage? Oh, how wonderful."

"Well, that brings about all sorts of other things to think about." Robert paused. "That's for tomorrow when I feel a little bit more refreshed. Now," he said, leaning in to gently press his lips against hers. "I'm most certainly feeling better than this morning."

"And?" Cora teased, toying with the button on his nightshirt playfully, raising her eyebrows as she did.

"And," he grinned, leaning in to take her lips with his own as she reached up to hold on to the side of his face as she giggled. "I love you."