February 7th 2021
Chapter 38
Our Hopes for Glamour
She'd been getting pretty good about waking up right about when Marianne would be on the verge of needing to be fed, sometimes even before the baby herself started to wake and cry out. Lucas would tease her over it. All she cared about was how it had come in handy in allowing him to go on sleeping some nights. That wasn't always the case, and sometimes he woke up anyway, and he chose to stay awake with her, but on occasions – such as this night – he remained sleeping while she got up and brought Marianne to herself.
Maya took the baby with her and headed into her parents' living room, sat on the couch with her. For a while, they just stayed there, and Marianne did her thing while Maya just looked out to the wall of photographs. She'd have to see about sending her parents some updates soon. It always felt like things changed overnight with her pumpkin, didn't it?
When Shawn moved toward the kitchen for a small snack, he spotted Maya sitting out on the couch, the now sleeping baby cradled in one arm while she had a notepad balanced on the armrest and a pencil wobbling between her fingers like she was trying to think of something.
"Can you even see out there?" Shawn whispered, making her look up.
"Moonlight," she responded.
"Right," he yawned, coming to sit next to her. "Can I?" he indicated his granddaughter.
"If she could talk, she'd say yes, so," Maya chuckled, so he reached over and carefully took the baby without waking her.
"If she could talk, she could ask me for everything I own and I'd give it to her," he echoed.
"Never imagined 'grandpa' would be such a good look on you," Maya had to stifle her laughter here. Going off his smile, she'd say he was more than fine by it.
"What are you working on? New song?" he finally asked, indicating the pad. She held it with both hands now, inspecting her various scribbles.
"No, not a song, just…"
"A speech?" Shawn guessed.
"Not exactly," she shrugged. "I know Ree said she preferred to wing it, and there's no telling whether I'll actually have to go and say anything, but I don't know, I can't help thinking I should be at least a little prepared, just in case I end up blanking, you know?"
"So, no 'picture everyone in their underwear' then, huh?"
"Dad…" she gave him a look which he rightly read as 'if I do imagine that and I end up making a fool of myself, payback will be endless.'
"What do you have on there?" Shawn asked, rather than saying anything else.
Maya sighed, showed him the pad. It was a lot of clumsy writing, from having one arm busy and a wobbly writing surface, which did not help when she'd been trying to fit names and words on the page until it was really just a mess.
"Right," Shawn frowned at this, nodding as an idea came to him. "I think I have your solution."
Both Maya and Lucas were getting to be thankful for any and all sleep they managed to get from night to night, and still it felt important on a different level for them to get as much of it as they could in this night and the next. Sure, the awards weren't until the next night, but nothing would be all that relaxing from this morning onward. To prove their point, Ree called to say she was on her way to pick Maya and Lucas up even as they were all having breakfast.
So, Marianne was left to her grandparents for the next little while. She'd be spending most of that time with Shawn, as Katy was due on set again, though she would get to visit. The whole team on the show had been so great with their co-star's becoming a grandmother, always thrilled for a new photo or video. Both Maya and Lucas were more than happy with allowing her to flex some of that pride by presenting her granddaughter. So, while the two of them had been made to promise pictures of their various options for dresses and suits, Katy and Shawn in exchange had been made to promise pictures of Marianne's various encounters. It was a fair trade.
Ree had said she'd get them lined up with people, to get them all set for the awards, about as soon as the nominations had come in, and at no time had they assumed they'd get any less than exactly what they got. And still… still… Sometimes they were reminded how much they still felt like a couple of kids out of Austin, though they guessed that if that thought thrived in them, after all the shows, the world tour, the awards, then they had to be doing something right.
"Hey, so about today," Lucas quietly started as they followed Ree. The singer was already in conversation with the woman they'd gone to meet, allowing them this brief instant.
"Yeah?" Maya whispered back.
He didn't even have to say it. She could see it in the back of his eyes. It wouldn't take much for him to pick up on any insecurities she might be feeling at one time or another, and she definitely had some of those now. She tried not to get so caught up in how her body was adjusting post baby, told herself that it was normal and that she would get 'there,' wherever that was, even if she wasn't yet. But now, she was going to be under a load of lights, of cameras, and that would probably trip up some flags for her. And Lucas would know, so he needed to know what she needed from him. Would his compliments feel like he was just trying to humor her? Never. The guy literally could not lie about that, but maybe it wouldn't hit the same way here.
"Just be as honest as you can, alright? I can take it," she told him, and he smiled.
"Got it," he nodded. If something didn't look right, she wanted to know, and coming from him she would trust the words.
She really couldn't say how she would have fared if she'd gone in there on her own. Alright, she wouldn't have been completely alone, she'd have had Ree, and she would never have let her get lost either, but it wasn't the same as what Lucas brought, when he'd known her more than half her life, when there was never anyone else with whom she'd been quite as open, and intimate, and vulnerable as him. There were without a doubt a few moments where she felt her nerves give a rattle, but then she'd look over and see him, and she would feel her heartbeat calm again.
If that wasn't enough, well, she got to watch him try on a number of outfits, too, and anyone who knew her enough would know that she was no slouch for expressing her appreciation of her husband's… everything… especially in formal wear. He definitely knew it, and to see him play into that today, the better to defuse any 'wobbly' feelings she may have been having… How could she feel anything but total love for him?
"So, what's the verdict?" Lucas asked, after he'd come to show her the final candidate.
"Well…" her voice trailed off, still looking him over. "I'd say my favorite was number three, but maybe you should wear number five."
"If that's not your favorite, then why that one?" he had to ask.
"Because," she started, motioning for him to lean in so she could whisper, "If I have to look at you in number three, I won't make it through the night." Lucas bowed his head and nodded at this, like he should have seen it coming.
"Right, number three it is," he gave her a challenging grin, and she had to work hard to keep the actual thoughts in her head from being telegraphed on her face, because… well, they just wouldn't have felt right in present company.
"Are you prepared to play this game? Against me?" she asked, holding his gaze.
"Playing it every day of my life," he assured her. Oh, the guy was good, wasn't he? There wasn't so much as a flutter of nerves all of a sudden. When the stylist returned, after having come up with some options based on what she'd first had her try on, before the suits for Lucas, Maya was good to go. It was like she'd harnessed exactly that energy she needed to exude the next night.
Lucas looked on as she paraded her own options, and… yeah… He couldn't have looked away even if he'd wanted to. For as much as there'd be this pull in her to be unsure of herself, standing in total contradiction to this other side people expected from her, this air of boundless confidence, he knew those two sides could not exist without one another. Too much of one thing with too little of the other and suddenly she wouldn't be herself anymore. Right here, he was getting to see how much she'd cultivated of this persona she presented when she was on stage, doing anything connected to her music. It was on the whole very much like who she was every day, but he could still recognize the thin mask over it, separating parts of herself she wanted to keep apart, for herself, for him, for the people in her life, and he understood the necessity. This was Maya Hart, singer, song writer…
Each dress she put on looked just… well… Suffice it to say that she had been right: he had so not been prepared for this game. Just managing to remember the promise he'd made her before this all started was getting to be another kind of challenge, but he was going to get there, and he'd pull it together.
"What do you think?" she asked, on dress number six, and he knew that in her heart and mind already this was the one. He'd clocked the moment when she'd first spotted it on the rack, and she'd been eyeing it like something in her was ringing a bell, proclaiming a winner when she hadn't even tried it yet. Then when she did have it on, oh, it was right there, a ripple of trepidation. She loved this dress, and she felt really good in it. That might have been half of what made it look so good on her.
"I…" he started to say, and it genuinely felt like the words failed him. The best he could do was to mime his brain imploding on itself, which made her laugh.
"Figured you'd say that," she stated with a warm smile.
Now that they had a winner, with everyone agreed that this was her dress, everything else had to fall into place, and the whirlwind carried on around them until they finally were able to carry on with their day, which involved Katy and Shawn bringing Marianne along to meet them, the better to share dinner with the Sutcliffes. Ree's daughter was beyond excited that she had been allowed to make this trip, because it meant she got to meet Maya and Lucas' baby. How many times had she felt for her kicks over the summer and the tour? Now here she was.
"How'd it go out there today?" Maya asked her mother, after she'd been returned her daughter and been treated to what felt like a definitive exchange of 'oh, you're back, I missed you so much' between the two of them.
"Oh, it was great," Katy laughed, reaching to hold Marianne's hand as she looked down at her. "Five more minutes and they would have put her in a scene somewhere."
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
