The Maiden's Heart
53 .The Best Thing
"Ty Lee is the best thing that ever happened to you. How did you fuck it up?"
"First of all, brother, I expected sympathy not these accusations. Secondly, many better things have happened to me than Ty Lee. I conquered Ba Sing Se, I dug myself out of a miserable pit of despair and rebuilt my life from ashes, I just had a baby. She's maybe the sixth or seventh best thing that ever happened to me."
"She's the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it."
"Well, what do you propose I do about it, if you are so certain? I have moved on before and I can again."
"Talk to her. Bring her some flowers and go to her house and talk to her."
"That is a lot of trouble and humiliation for the sake of one woman."
"For the sake of the only woman you've ever loved, Azula. Your wife."
Azula grumbles, but reluctantly agrees.
It only takes her an hour to buy the flowers and go to Ty Lee's parents' house. When she arrives, her mother greets Azula with grace and deference. Azula does not expect the same from her wife.
When Ty Lee enters the room, her expression sours and proves that thought right.
"Can Ty Lee and I talk privately?" asks Azula.
"Of course, Princess," replies Ty Lee's mother.
Ty Lee looks like she wants to object, but she does not. She thinks she may still be as blinded by love as she has been since she was a girl.
They stand together in the foyer.
Azula hands Ty Lee the flowers and Ty Lee can not stop herself from smiling, but she quickly wiped the expression from her face.
"Why are you here?" Ty Lee quietly asks, hating herself for still being so afraid of Azula.
"Because I refuse to let you go again. I can't do it. I can't lose you. Don't you understand?"
"I do understand. But I don't know how to forgive what you did to me."
"You have forgiven worse."
"Azula, I love you. But just because I have doesn't mean I should."
"I promise I will tell you why I did what I did. I would never betray you if it were not for a good reason. I promise. But it isn't safe right now. Give me time, and I will tell you everything."
"Two weeks."
"What?"
"I can give you two weeks to tell me the truth."
Azula's eyes flicker and smolder and she opens her mouth to protest, but instead she nods.
Fine.
Two weeks to win Ty Lee back strongly enough that she will still be loyal when she hears the truth.
54. Trust
Ty Lee is rays of sunshine, cherry blossoms, soft fabric, little smiles and the colors of dusk.
Azula sees and feels all of that from the moment she sees her approaching today.
Azula holds Izumi in her arms as she meets Ty Lee in front of the palace.
Ty Lee kisses the baby on the cheek and gently caresses her face. Izumi smiles at her second mother and Ty Lee beams in return.
"I'm taking you out," says Azula. "But we need to go somewhere the baby is welcome."
"Can I decide where we go?" asks Ty Lee, quite nervous to speak up like that, but well aware that she must.
"It's almost as if you don't trust me."
"It's exactly as if I don't trust you. Not anymore."
"Well, I suppose trust is often secondary in our relationship. Time has proven that."
They fall silent. No more can easily be said.
Azula does allow Ty Lee to choose the location of their date. Ty Lee picks the central park of Caldera.
They sit together on a bench near the Fire Fountain, Azula cradling Izumi.
Azula struggles to say what she knows she must. "Thank you for sticking around despite Izumi. I know it must have been difficult for you to embrace her as your daughter as much as mine."
"Of course I wanted to be there for her. I'm the only one you have who always sticks around."
Maybe that is true. Just maybe.
"I'm scared to ask but I know, I know I have to be bolder for us to work out. Did you bring Izumi so I could see her or because you want to manipulate me?"
"I just thought it would be right to let you see her. Two parents are better than one. I learned that the hard way. I am just trying to be a good mother. It isn't easy when I didn't have one."
They enjoy the park for a little while longer as Azula tries to keep her discomfort contained and Ty Lee works on summoning courage to ask the question that burned in her heart all night last night.
Finally, she breaks the silence by inquiring, "Why do you feel so angry that I can't trust you right now? It isn't like you trust me."
"Because you're wrong. Because I have no one else in my life that I trust the way I trust you."
Hesitantly, but passionately, they kiss.
55. Peace
Ty Lee will never admit or understand how she ends up lying in bed with Azula, resting her head on the princess's shoulder. They both are angry. They both are struggling with trust and love. And maybe that is why they ended up here, not a reason they would not do it.
Azula whispers out of nowhere, pulling out the best of her charm to make more progress in winning Ty Lee back. "I don't know what peace is supposed to feel like," says Azula softly, "but I think it may feel like you."
"I feel the same way. I want to enjoy this peace while it lasts, but my head is like messed up. I just want to know. You said you had a good reason to betray me. You should tell me it."
"If I tell you why I did it, you wouldn't look at me the same way. You wouldn't look at me the way you're looking at me now. Why should I tell you if that would happen?"
"Because it's the right choice."
"It's not that simple."
"The right choice is rarely the easy one."
"I promise to tell you. I promise to make the right choice. But the right time is rarely the earliest time."
Ty Lee closes her eyes and lets herself drift off to sleep on Azula's shoulder.
Azula bites back tears.
56. Truth
Azula and Ty Lee lean against the bar at a popular hangout space in Caldera.
"I have to admit," says Ty Lee, batting her exquisitely made up eyelashes, "I know it's because you're trying to manipulate me but I really missed going on dates with you. And I missed you."
It is hard to force the honest words from her lips, but Azula says, "I missed this kind of thing too."
That pleasure over their drinks ends quickly as a rather drunk man approaches, gropes Ty Lee, and slurs out a cheap pick up line.
Azula launches into action before she can even think about controlling herself.
She grabs him by the neck and pins him to the wall with one hand before punching him with the other in a sensitive place.
Azula holds him as she lifts up a threatening burning palm. He whimpers and tears pour from his eyes. Azula finds it wildly satisfying.
But then Ty Lee runs up to them. "Azula! Azula, please, please let go of the rude man's neck!"
"He accosted you! I will let him go when his next of kin can't identify him!" Azula snarls.
"Zuko won't let you see me anymore if you do things like that. He probably won't even let me move back in if I wanted to! What if you killed someone? He could have you locked up!"
Azula drops the man and spins to Ty Lee, now focused on her instead as her previous victim crawls away. "Zuko thinks he can control me. He can't. That's why I did it Ty Lee. That's why I spied for the New Ozai Society. That's why I told that man what I told him. I'm going to take control of my life again. We could rule side by side. We would never have to be afraid!"
"I… I know you were thinking of us. I know about a third of that choice was about love. But the rest of it was just hunger for power. If you were caught… if you were caught they would send you to the Boiling Rock or worse. That would destroy me. Can't you see that?"
"What I see is myself doing what is best for my family. For me and you and Izumi."
Tears well in Ty Lee's eyes as she croaks, "I have to go."
She leaves Azula behind.
And she is not sure if she ever wants to come back.
57. Disappear
Ty Lee packs the rest of her belongings, crying the entire time.
Azula watches her.
Ty Lee walks towards the door and then sighs, turning around.
"You look like you have something to say."
"You're looking at me the way I was scared you would. I just want to tell you before you go that I'm not the same person I was during the war. Or even the same person I was before I had Izumi."
Ty Lee frowns and bows her head. "Then who are you? I don't… I don't feel like I know anymore."
"I'm the woman you love. You need me."
"Azula…" Ty Lee whispers, looking up and locking eyes with her wife.
"And I need you. I need you." Perhaps Azula should have led with that, but to her surprise, Ty Lee drops her bags and walks to her wife, wiping away a tear as she approaches.
"Let's disappear," says Ty Lee, taking Azula's hands in hers. "Let's run away and leave it all behind. Let's take Izumi and go before anyone finds out what you did."
Azula parts her lips to object. She does not want to abandon hope of political power.
But then she looks into her eyes and does something she never thought she would. Never imagined she could.
"I'll pack my bags and get Izumi. Come with me. I know where to go."
Ty Lee smiles more brightly than Azula has seen in a long time, and kisses her passionately on the lips.
59. Reconciable
Things change between them when they vanish from Caldera in the dead of night.
They change the second they get into the secretly chartered carriage to a town where Azula once lived during her exile.
They change for the better.
Ty Lee turns to Azula in the carriage. "Can I tell you something I've never told you before?"
"I suppose." Azula touches Izumi's face to comfort the squirming baby and then looks up at Ty Lee.
"I still remember when I fell in love with you. I looked at you and saw this beautiful, fierce creature who didn't let anyone stand in her way or define her. For my whole life, I either was invisible or let people tell me who I was. I guess I wanted to be like you, and then I wanted to be with you."
Azula states out of the window for a moment as she bites her lower lip. She turns back to Ty Lee.
"And I saw someone easy to manipulate. It would take more effort not to exploit you. But I guess I started to realize you were your own person somewhere along the way, I person I wanted."
Ty Lee takes Azula's free hand and holds it.
Azula does not pull away.
60. War
The house is in poor shape, but still vacant, and as Azula left it. They took a good deal of money with them, and managed to stock the place with food and drink. But there is still a good deal of work to be done before it can be habitable.
Azula usually would never lift a finger to do this kind of thing, but she realizes she has no choice and forces herself through the motions, but not without constantly complaining and restating her royal status repeatedly.
Azula and Ty Lee are halfway between cleaning and organizing dusty, creaky furniture when they stop for a break, sitting on the floor and sipping teacups full of water.
"You're holding something back," says Azula. "I can tell."
"You did win me back. Win my trust."
"By running away with you?"
"By telling me the truth. I'm so happy you did but…"
"But?"
"I thought things had changed. I know I should've expected you to spy for people who want to destroy what everybody built but I just don't think it's right to start a war for the glory of Azula. I wish I was Fire Lady. Or I guess I think about it sometimes, but our love should be enough."
"I did it for you. I did it for Izumi. And yes, I did it for myself. War is in my bones, lust for power is in my blood, and I can't change that."
"I believe you can."
"Don't hold your breath."
61. Yellow
Azula and Ty Lee walk through town a few days after moving in.
Ty Lee wants to make friends. Azula wants to scope out escape routes in case anyone finds them here. But she does have a complaint on her mind.
"How are people looking at you instead of me. I'm certainly hotter with my royal features and you're wearing that horrible yellow dress," complains Azula. "I deserve at least a few of these peasants fighting for my hand."
Ty Lee smiles broadly and Azula teasingly glares. "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."
Azula tosses her hair and winks. "Beauty is in the eyes of whoever is looking at me."
Ty Lee kisses her, not caring who may be watching.
"You've got that right, princess."
62. Failure
Azula punches a burning hole in the wall Ty Lee just finished painting when she gets home from three disastrous job interviews.
She snarls and grinds her teeth. Ty Lee remains patient but stays out of the line of fire.
"I have never experienced such failure!" cries out Azula, head spinning too fast with rage to realize that her words are not remotely accurate.
Azula takes a deep breath and turns to Ty Lee.
"Did you not get the jobs?"
"Each one says I am not suitable for customer service positions! And so help me I will die before I perform any manual labor!" Azula clenches her smoking fists.
"I think it's because you look about as approachable as a bed of nails," laughs Ty Lee.
Azula glares at her, but then settles due to the joke. It snapped her out of her rage.
"I want to work to support you and Izumi. It is the honorable thing to do and I refuse to be a stay at home mother."
"Azula, you'll get a job, but, uh, our money isn't lasting forever. Maybe I could work, just for now."
Azula wants to scream at her. She can barely restrain herself from punching Ty Lee into next week, but she composes herself because she knows practicality sometimes overrides plans of glory. Or at least as much glory as a life like this offers.
"Fine."
Azula huffs and locks herself in the bedroom.
Ty Lee sleeps on the sofa, but she knows Azula will feel better once they have some income and friends in the town.
63. Employment
A few days later, Ty Lee gets a job at the town's only tea shop. They did not need extra hands, but she is simply so friendly and bubbly that they hire her.
She does not celebrate, but she does tell Azula.
All the princess says is, "You better not start dressing slutty for tips."
Ty Lee can handle that rule.
She is not even bothered by it.
Perhaps today is proof they can make it in a life like this.
end part eight
