Illusion is Reality
Chapter 121
-No matter the side-
(MizBill and Ford's Mindscape adventures? Well, no, not really an adventure.)
I had fallen asleep at some point while in Ford's lap. I dreamed for a while inside my artificial Dreamscape, and even went back home for a while when I realized I WAS dreaming. But then I remembered that I'd promised Fordsie to show him the Mindscape. Well, I could return home again at the same time I left, so the petting zoo trip with Keyhole wouldn't be technically interrupted.
I slipped out and in, and was happy to see that Fordsie had carried me up to his bedroom at some point and the two of us were nestled away on Ford's bed. And as for Ford himself? He was fast asleep, his glasses still on and his journal resting on his chest. I cooed at the sight. Well, we've all had a long day.
So I went to go and get Ford so we would go to the Mindscape, like I promised him. Of course, when I got there, he was dreaming. And I knew that because I ended up inside his dream.
I stared.
He was standing in front of a crowd, showing off some new invention that kept shifting amorphously- it wasn't so much an invention as it was the idea of something amazing and great that would revolutionize everything. He didn't have a clear idea of what it was, only that it would make him a household name across the world. Awww~ that's so cute. Even now, he was chasing dreams of glory and recognition. I made a mental note to help him achieve that in the waking world as well.
"Heeey~ Fordsie~" I flew up to him, in my Miz form. I was still careful not to appear as a triangle around him, not without many clear indicators that I wasn't his old Bill. "You ready to go explore the Mindscape like we promised?"
He turned to me and lit up. "Ah Miz! Just in time." I laughed, "A wizard is never late." I told him, and he reached out to take my hand, pulling me into a hug. "It's time for the party!" I blinked. Party? What party?
And he pulled me along, the podium was a door now, and we went through to exit out into the cafeteria in the Center. Except part of it was also Stan's penthouse. And he sat me down at the head of the table, where his family and Tesla were sitting as well. I guess we were celebrating his reward ceremony about that 'invention' he made. Said invention was placed at the center of the table. We were all served bowls of jellybeans with coffee as if it were cereal. I politely pushed my own bowl to the side. I confess, I didn't really like jellybeans, they got stuck in my teeth and I didn't like the feeling. Nor was I all that big on the taste to be honest. And with coffee? Eh…. no thank you.
"Miz, meet Tesla." Ford was introducing me. I waved. "Hi mister Tesla." the man gave me a polite nod. Then he opened his mouth and the sexiest voice came out. Like, I'm pretty sure this isn't what Tesla's voice sounded like. "Hello." Tesla said to me. I stared at him, and slowly turned my head to Ford, who was sighing dreamily (?!) as he poured more coffee into Tesla's bowl of jellybeans.
Ok yeah, this was super weird and I'm not sure I'm comfortable being inside Ford's dream date with Tesla.
Also I finally realized another thing that had been bothering me here.
Why was Tesla a twink?
I got out of my seat and tugged on Ford's sleeve. "We have to go now." I told him. "We're supposed to go explore the Mindscape, remember?"
"Oh." Ford blinked. "Is it that time already?" He checked his watch, only it wasn't a watch, he wasn't wearing a watch, but the 'time' still appeared and was known. It was a nebulous concept of a number between 12 and 12. Ford put his 'watch' away and took my hand. "Alright, lets go!" he said cheerfully.
I pulled him up and out of his Dreamscape, and then his body. It was sleeping peacefully now. I didn't get much of a chance to check out his body because Ford immediately let out a "WHOOP!" and dove off through a wall. Ahhh! Fordsie don't just run off without me!
I flew through the wall myself and looked around for him. He was flying loop-di-loops around the tops of the trees. Seriously, this man. I guess he's having fun at least. Which was good. I floated over to watch him laugh as he flew, it was nice to see him so happy and carefree. "So… what do you wanna do?" I asked him.
Ford slowed down until he was floating beside me, he got the hang of moving around here in the Mindscape pretty easily. "Do?" he asked. Well yeah. "What do you wanna do, now that we're here? You said you wanted to study it." I reminded him. He clapped his hands. "I want to see the large Hadron Collider!"
I blinked. "Sure dude." I mean, yeah I guess it was a pretty cool thing to want to see. But couldn't he book a tour of the CERN facilities while he was awake? Whatever, if that was where he wanted to go...
I took his hand and dragged him along behind me as I flew off to where he wanted to go. I was taking a scenic route, so he could see everything rushing by as we went. He seemed to like that, getting distracted now and again so we had to stop and let him fly around inside buildings to stare at the people inside.
Was it just me or was Fordsie being way weirder than usual? Well, no matter. He was having fun and he wasn't hurting anyone. He flew up to take my hands and pulled me around in a twirl. "Dance with me?" He asked, giving me a confident smile.
My non-existent heart went doki-doki.
Ahhh! What was with him tonight? I flushed as he twirled me around through the air. He was shit at dancing, we were more or less just holding hands and swinging around. But damn if his smile wasn't adorable. I wasn't used to Fordsie taking the initiative. I mean, I know he probably wasn't doing this out of any sense of romance, but… a girl can dream.
We danced along through the air until we came to a stop, me pressed against his chest. I could hear him laughing, easy and content. "What's got you so happy tonight?" I asked.
He pulled back a little, so that I could see his face. And he just smiled at me. "Because you're here with me." he said simply.
Ahhhh! I swooned back. Dammit Fordsie! What's with these killer lines tonight?! It wasn't like him. But I had to admit, the smooth way he dropped that on me, with no trace of hesitation or bashfulness was...
...really sexy…
Uwu~ I didn't know why he was being like this tonight. But I was blushing as I tried not to let on just how riled up he was getting me. And he didn't have to look so smug about it! Dammit Fordsie you asshole!
...and he just got distracted and was now going inside trees to stare at their insides. Fordsie~ weren't we going to see the Hadron Collider? Where are you going?!
He was so giddy and spontaneous today. I found him lecturing a squirrel about genetics and how this squirrel was a beautiful example of his species. It almost seemed like Ford was half asleep or something, but that was silly. He was clearly here and talking to me (and squirrels that couldn't see or hear him). I wonder if being in the Mindscape for so long was doing something weird to him. "Hey Fordsie, do you wanna head back now?" Because I didn't want him to get hurt from being here too long. I haven't really brought other people to hang out in the Mindscape for long periods of time, so I didn't actually know what would happen to them. He waved me off. "It's a beautiful night for science!" he declared. And he pulled me close to him, an arm around my lower back and his other hand holding one of mine. Was he dipping me?!
He gazed at me for a good long while, I flushed under that look. "U-um…" shit, I liked it. Being caressed by his eyes. His regard. His focus. Oh what was wrong with me right now?!
"It's weird when you look like this…" he said quietly. I blinked. Huh? He patted my head, letting go of one hand to do so. "Can you go adult-form?" I raised an eyebrow, but I did so, shifting into Xin. And Ford grinned. "Thank you." he told me. "It's much easier to do this when you don't look like a child."
"Do wha-"
And Ford swept me up in his arms, nuzzling into my chest, blowing a raspberry. I squeaked. "Fordsie! What are you-!?"
And Ford was laughing. "Your face!" he slapped his knee. I pouted at him. Seriously? "You're messing with me?" I asked. "I'm teasing you! Turnabout's fair play!" he chuckled. I huffed. "Look, just because we're in the Mindscape and no one's around to see us, doesn't mean I can't still embarrass you!"
"Well, I've learned that you can still blow raspberries in the Mindscape." he said matter-of-factly. "Despite not needing to breathe."
"..." I grumbled at him. "Warn me before you use me for your experiments." I wasn't really mad though, just surprised. "And lemme guess, the dancing is to see how momentum and physics still worked in here, despite all the floating."
"Well, yes." Ford grinned. "But also," he pulled me closer. "I just wanted to dance with you."
Yup. I was definitely blushing. "Why're you being so…. Forward tonight?" I finally asked.
"I'm always moving forward! The onward stride of SCIENCE!" he crowed, throwing an arm into the air. And marching forward, despite floating in place. And not looking embarrassed by any of this.
And it was at this moment that I realized Ford was still asleep. Or rather, he was still dreaming.
...that explained how weird he'd been acting, at least. Yeesh. Huh, so… was he just more confident in his dreams or should I not put stock into how he's acting and what he's saying to me while he's in this state? I probably shouldn't. He's not really flirting with me after all.
(I tried not to feel disappointed.)
Well, might as well enjoy this while it lasted. Also, I wasn't too sure how to 'wake' him, he was clearly conscious- even if his inhibitions seemed to be off? "Hey, are we going to see the hadron collider or what?" I floated forward to poke him when he started waving his hand through various nighttime animals.
"Well this is more interesting, actually." Ford frowned, waving his hand and passing it through a raccoon. "They really don't notice me?" He noted.
"Some do." I told him. "Not even a species thing, there are just some individuals who are more sensitive to the Mindscape and can feel or see us."
"Fascinating." He grinned. He was leaning closer to an owl, to inspect it. I warned him, "If you get too close, you'll go inside and possess them-"
And of course, Ford proceeded to do just that. I watched him 'fall' into the Owl, and the brief struggle the poor bird had before Ford took over. Well, naturally, I started laughing. Because FordOwl.
He looked so confused. And attempted to move around as an owl, nearly falling off the tree. "Stop before you hurt the both of you." I scolded. "Who?" He asked.
"You and the owl of course." I told him.
"Who?" He asked again.
"The owl who's body you so unceremoniously stole?" I huffed. "Get out of there. I don't mind you having fun in other bodies, but you're bound to get the poor thing hurt." I reached my hands into the owl and pulled Ford back out. He was blinking. "That… felt different from being in a vessel."
"Of course it would, this body's already occupied." I glanced back at the owl, who shook themselves off and flew away, thankfully none worse for the wear.
"Didn't feel like when Bill was in my body either…" his tone was odd. Almost nostalgic?
I floated closer. "Ford?"
"Hey Xin? Why did Bill betray me?" Ford asked quietly.
"I don't know. I've never met him. And what I can See about him just says that he used you as a means to an end." I hesitated, should I tell him? He looked pretty distressed. I reached over to hug him around the shoulders. "...you wanna talk about it?"
He shook his head. I adjusted my hold on him to tuck him into my chest. "Alright. Well, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. You don't have to, but if you do…" he sniffled. "I…" he wiggled against me. "I want to go back." he said with a sniffle. I stroked his hair gently. "Alright. We can try again some other time." I blinked us back to his house and laid him down back into his body. I stayed a few moments, watching to be sure he was alright, before I went back through my Door to go home.
The petting zoo was nice. I checked to make sure the animals were being well cared for and treated well. They were, to the best of the Keeper's abilities. They didn't quite have the money for all the upkeep.
...everything always came down to money, didn't it?
I made a note to anonymously donate some funds from my accounts towards this place later. There were a lot of places I was already giving Credits to, since that seemed the best way to help without directly getting involved and causing people trouble. As I've learned over the years, nearly any (though not all) problems could be solved by throwing money at it. If more people were willing to do the same, the multiverse would be a better place.
...but the vast majority of people couldn't do that. Some, because they had no spare Credits to give, and others, because they didn't care enough to do so. Or perhaps they didn't know how? It was a complicated thing. But the fact that there are people who know how help, have more than enough Credits to do so, and choose not to-
I sighed. Keyhole glanced over at me. "I know that sound, it's the 'I'm really upset about something and I don't know who I'm supposed to beat up to fix it' sound." he patted my arm. "What's on your mind?"
"Just…" I petted the light brown Tribble in my hands. It let out a cute squeaking sound. "...worrying about how I'm going to be able to make everything better."
Keyhole groaned. "Bill, I know you might not want to hear this, but it's not your responsibility to fix everything. And you shouldn't have to." he put down the BeeTurtle he was petting, so he could gently take the vibrating Tribble from me. "No matter what Pynelope or anyone else might have told you, it's not on you to make everything better."
I had to take a moment to look away and close my eye. The pain was… lessened a little, but it still hurt. "...but if I have the power to help, and I don't-"
"That's not on you." Keyhole told me firmly. "At least, that's not on you alone." he held my hand, I felt his stubby fingers curling around my own. "We're your friends. We can help too." he chuckled. "I mean, I dunno how much Pyronica can help with delicate matters like politics or reforming society, if that's what you're after." He paused. "That… is what you're after, right?"
I managed a short laugh, finally opening my eye to look over at him. "Yeah. I wanna make the multiverse a better place, I guess? Dunno how that'll work out."
Keyhole shrugged. "No way to make everyone get along, you know that, right?"
I wiggled. "But why can't everyone get along? Why can't people just… be not dicks to each other?" I wasn't going to hold out hope that people would be 'nice' to each other. I'm not optimistic enough for that. But… just don't be absolute dicks.
"...because other people aren't as nice as you." Keyhole rolled his eyes. I huffed. "I'm not nice."
"Suuuuure you're not~"
"Uuuugh!" I wiggled. "Seriously dude, I'm only nice to the people I like. That doesn't make me a nice person, it makes me a selfish asshole."
"Well, it's a good thing that we like this selfish asshole." He sounded almost cheeky. The little smudge. I gave him a little flick to his shoulder. "That's mister asshole to you."
"Alright mister asshole."
Keyhole really grew up into quite the cheeky bugger. I wonder who he got it from? Couldn't be me, I'm not nearly that obnoxious. Probably Teeth. Definitely Teeth.
(Somewhere out in the multiverse, Teeth sneezed and had to deal with Lilie fussing over him.)
I gave him another playful flick. Seriously though, most e people flinched back from me whenever I flicked my fingers. But Keyhole just laughed and flicked me back. I poked his head, he poked my corner. This back and forth continued until the two of us were tickling each other and laughing, the cute animals around us forgotten as we got distracted away from petting them.
"What the heck are you two doing?"
Keyhole and I looked up from where we'd fallen into some of the fences. Kryptos was twitching as he watched us, holding some cups full of animal food from the petting zoo. I got up, floating away from Keyhole, who suddenly looked a little exasperated. "We were tickling each other. I was winning." Keyhole huffed. I poked him again. "Pretty sure I was the one winning. I got more hands." I teased, sprouting more hands to hover around me.
Kryptos was still looking unhappy. I floated over to hug his bubble. "Did you want to tickle fight too?" He sighed. "That's not the issue here." He looked at the bubble around him. Then he glanced at Keyhole. "Is all this really necessary?"
Keyhole came over, easily slipping through the bubble to hug Kryptos. "I admit, we were all kinda mad about what you did with Bill, but I do think this is a bit much. I still think you two shouldn't be alone together, but not being allowed to hug is too cruel." Keyhole rested his head against Kryptos's plane. "It's been a few months, we can ask Hec and Pyronica if your 'punishment' can be reduced for good behaviour."
A few months from their personal timeline at least. It's been a few thousand years for me. I've been trying to sneakily divert the Federation expansion ships away from inhabited planets or new dimensions. The first thing we need to do, to stop the Federation from getting worse, is to stop their colonization. And if I could prevent them from discovering any new planets that have people living there, then the Federation wouldn't be able to cause problems for the natives.
So there are whole planets and some dimensions that I've essentially placed a Perception Filter over so that the Federation can't find or discover them.
They're starting to get worried, not being able to find anything. There are some council members who actually think they've fully explored the multiverse. Tina's mom is putting out the idea to focus less on expansion and more on improving what they've got now. Thank Ax there are people who actually agree with her.
Sure, it's only been a few years in dimension FeD-1 (since Time Baby likes to keep the dimensions his Federation owns in synch, for the most part) but their lack of new discoveries were really worrying them. Well, you have a right to worry. And yes, of course you wouldn't be able to find anything. I spent several thousand years of my personal time doing nothing but working to find and filter everything first! It would take them at least that long to be able to get past all the places I've filtered to discover a new area that I haven't gotten to.
Yes it was tiring, repetitive, mind numbing work (which isn't actually that bad, I used to iron and fold t-shirts for several hours a day for a whole week. I used to copy down entire books by hand. I was used to repetitive and mind numbing work.) And a whole LOT of effort on my part. But now I've got a buffer. I had several thousand years to work on fixing the Federation. Woo~
Also, I'll get to see what happens as they realize they're essentially unable to find a new place to shove work onto, they've run out of free space. They're gonna need to actually work on their own shit now. Mwahaha!
You know, maybe I could even offer to let them use the dimension that I created. Since there were no people living there at the moment, and while it was still a work in progress, I've improved upon it a lot since my first awkward attempts to build a dimension from scratch. I actually built a mini-almost-perpetual-motion device and hooked it up to Time progression. Kinda based on Father Time's Wheel. So I got progressive time working now. And the device would keep on going forever, pretty much. It's an almost-perpetual device because I could affect it. So I could stop it to pause time, or even swing it backward if I so chose.
I've decided I should start populating the first planet in my dimension with animals now. The plants were all set from the get-go. Plants are easy. Just put them down and let them do their thing. If they died then they didn't work for that environment and the ones that survived would evolve to suit it. They weren't sentient, so that wasn't an issue. Animals though...
Well, they had to evolve to suit the environment too. I couldn't just take a rabbit from another dimension and stick it in here (well I could, but that's not the point I'm trying to make) and have it thrive in an environment completely foreign to it.
So I rewound my dimension back to the beginning, no one's here so there's no issue with me doing it all over. And I went into William's form so I could heave and vomit primordial ooze into the oceans and across the land. My triangle form was still incapable of vomiting, didn't have the throat muscles necessary for such a thing. And I didn't quite feel like tearing myself open right this moment to 'bleed' out.
Yes, creating life from my vomit is a little gross, but I've vomited up the matter for a planet before, it works! After that, it was a simple matter of allowing time to move forward again and seeing what evolved from the substances and environment I created. I wiped the leftover ooze off my mouth and wondered if anything cool would grow out from...
I felt a poke on my bricks, making me blink away and out of my recollection of what I had been doing in my own time, I was reminded that I was here, right now. And not there, that was past, not present time. Not what I was doing right now, even if the depth of my recollection almost made me think I was still there, right now. But I wasn't. I blinked, reorienting myself with the Present.
"Bill?" Keyhole looked a little worried. "You slipped away again."
I blinked again, shaking off the daze and curling a hand around Keyhole's to anchor myself back in the present. "Sorry, I got lost in thought."
"I worry you won't find your way back one of these days." Kryptos gave me a wide eyed look. "Like, I'm seriously worried that we'd lose you if you sank too deep into your thoughts, Bill." He reached out and the bubble stopped him from being able to take my hand, and he just looked sad.
"I'm sorry for worrying you." I sighed. I looked down at the bubble. "This really is inconvenient." I glanced over at Keyhole. "You sure we can't lessen his 'punishment'?"
"...maybe." Keyhole looked almost guilty. "We still need to ask Hectorgon and Pyronica first."
Kryptos still looked irritated. I pet his bubble. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault." Kryptos sighed. "I messed up, this is my punishment."
"But I've already forgiven you. That should be good enough." I said sadly. Keyhole sighed. "You forgive too easily. That's part of the problem." Kryptos grimaced. "Look, what I did was wrong, I realize that. And I don't want to hurt you like that again. You're my friend. And I love you."
I paused at that. "...I'm sorry."
Kryptos sighed. "You don't have to be sorry for not loving me back. I don't want you going out of your way to try and like me, just because you think you should." Keyhole was nodding solemnly, patted Kryptos's shoulder sympathetically.
Kryptos sighed. "Hey Bill, I know this might just be selfish to ask, but… are you… just attracted to humans? And that's why you don't…"
I blinked. "No! That's not it! I mean, I do find humans aesthetically attractive, but that's not…" I sighed. "We need to have a real talk about this." I looked down at the cute animals crowding around us. I picked up a rabbit looking one. "And I'm gonna need to cuddle a smol creature while we have this talk."
Kryptos and I sat down with small animals in our laps. Keyhole had to remain nearby, but he had his back turned to somewhat give us some privacy.
"Kryptos, I love you a lot. But it's as if you were a younger sibling." I started off. "Someone I need to protect and care for." The compass licked at his buck teeth as he looked uncomfortable. "Bill, I'm not a child anymore."
"I know. But you're still…" I sighed. "I know you're not a child. But I'm just… not into you, in the way you'd want me to be. You're my friend, I like hanging out with you, talking with you. But you aren't someone I'm attracted to. Even if you're technically my type. I dunno, I just… don't feel like this about you."
Kryptos sighed. "Right. I… see." He rubbed his side. "Is this some leftover feelings from the Deal, or…"
"I don't know." I said honestly. "I've only been able to really think clearly and be aware of my own feelings as a recent thing." I pet the fluffy animal in my lap. "But at the moment, I don't really… um…" I gave Kryptos a shy look, "I'm not really into you right now. I dunno if I ever would be. But, I just… don't feel that way about you."
"...and you don't know if you might feel that way or not about me in the future." Kryptos sighed. I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm almost afraid I might somehow trick myself into thinking I liked you romantically."
Kryptos twitched. "I mean, I don't want you to falsely think you feel something you don't. That's neither fair to you nor me." He sighed. "I admit, I would be quite happy if you did grow to like me a-as a partner." he flushed a dark, nearly black color. I chuckled weakly. "I still don't understand why you'd want me." I wasn't worth being loved in such a way. Even if I wanted to be. Kryptos's feelings were probably some messed up form of attachment since I saved him from the lab.
But more than that...
"Do you even know what it would mean, to get together with me?" I asked him. He had his mouth open, about to respond to my first sentence, but at this second one, he closed it. Then he slowly shook his head. "I mean, I figured it'd be… us, together." He flushed. "We'd be able to cuddle as much as you like. A-and I could help you feel good, um, if you wanted it, I mean, if you did want to be with me, at least-"
"Kryptos," I interrupted. "Do you… know what I could do to you? With merely a thought?"
He blinked, caught off guard. "What?"
"For me, a romantic partner needs to be someone of equal, or almost equal standing with me. Which is almost impossible, I know, but it's not like I'm saying you're not powerful enough for me, nor am I saying this because I have high standards for who can date me." I told him. "It's because I don't want to be in a relationship where one person has power over the other. It's… it's not right." I paused. "It wouldn't feel right, I don't want to have that much power over someone else. It would make our relationship unbalanced, unfair." I added next.
And when I was sure Kryptos fully understood what I was saying, I continued, "With a mere thought, I could have all your molecules come apart. Take you apart on the atomic level, just by thinking it."
There was something of a horrified silence from my friends. Keyhole was looking away, but I could see the tension in his shoulders. But then, he relaxed. "You won't do that." He said. "You could, but you won't." Kryptos agreed.
"But I won't feel comfortable dating someone with that possibility hanging over me." I told him. And Kryptos scowled. "And what does that make Stanford?" I blinked. "What?"
"I'm not blind, Bill. You…" he twitched in place. "You like him! But he's a human! He's the weakest of the weak- by what you just said, you shouldn't even be able to think of him as even a possibility-"
I gasped, my eye going wide. "Fordsie's not weak!" I shook my head, "He's less breakable than you are, I'd have to actively try to-" I cut myself off. "It's… complicated." I said finally. "And he doesn't… like me back anyway."
...what was up with that incredulous look that Kryptos and Keyhole were sending me?!
And Keyhole opened his mouth but Kryptos sort of slapped at him blindly until he was able to cover the Lockin's mouth. "That's unfortunate." Kryptos said in a very… odd tone. I wasn't sure what it was, kinda… happy? I shrugged. "I mean, it's fine. He's my friend, and that's way better than being a romantic partner." I laughed weakly. "I'm just being weird." And Kryptos's eye went wide. "That's not-" he cut himself off, frowning.
"...liking someone isn't weird. Or wrong." Kryptos said, after kinda staring at me for a while. "You feel what you feel." He sounded almost melancholy. "And… if something makes you happy, you should… go for it." He grimaced, looking away from me.
"...Kryptos?" I reached for him, resting my hand against the bubble.
"Look, Bill." Kryptos sighed. "I don't like Stanford. I don't know how he meets whatever standards you have, but your feelings are yours. If you like him, then… that's fine. There's nothing weird about you feeling what you do."
...and it only took me until now to realize Kryptos was jealous. Oh. Wow. I am a terrible friend. He seemed to noticed since he rolled his eye at me. "You're kind of an idiot sometimes, I get that." He deadpanned.
"...I'm sorry."
He waved off my apology. "It's fine, whatever." He sighed. "Well, if your fear over the power imbalance is a thing, I just need to get stronger, right?" He asked. I blinked. "So you're not giving up?"
He gave me a grin. "Whether or not anything romantic happens between us, you're still my friend Bill. And if you're worrying over having too much power over me, or the rest of us, then I should try to alleviate that."
Gotta admit, I was rather touched by this. "Kryptos…" we smiled at each other, the animals forgotten as they wiggled out of our laps and scampered away. The moment was ruined by one of the petting zoo workers coming over to knock on the fence. "Um, your time's up. Would you like to pay 150 Credits to extend it-"
Really dude?! We were having a moment here! "You hurtin' fer a splurtin'." I told the Pandeen with a narrowed look. He squeaked and backed away. Keyhole burst out laughing. "Dammit Bill, you need to stop threatening people for annoying you."
...yeah… I was much too used to doing that. Probably didn't help with making people less scared of me. I need to be nicer. I flushed a faint orange. Kryptos was snickering as well. "You're such an asshole." He said with a tone full of mirth. Yeah, it really was all about the tone and person. If anyone else called me an asshole, I'd feel bad about it. But my friends were comfortable enough to joke with me like this, and that made me smile instead. And yes, I could tell the difference between a joke and a real criticism.
"...I'm gonna go apologize…" I said sheepishly as I floated after the poor worker. I could hear my friends snickering behind me. Yeah, yeah, I get it. I rolled my eye. Apologising was awkward, but at least the poor worker didn't seem too afraid after I explained that I wasn't actually going to hurt anyone, and sometimes I just said things without really thinking it through first. I don't think they fully believed me, but I did pay some more Credits to extend our time here.
...it was something, at least.
I still felt a little weird around Kryptos, any I know I hadn't really fully answered his question honestly. But what was I supposed to tell him?
He didn't really make me feel all fluttery inside like Ford did. And Kryptos was quite attractive, he had straight sides, sharp angles, and a pretty color, but he didn't really… I mean...
Uuuuurgh.
Why were relationships so complicated? I just wanted to pet cute animals and relax for a while. Even if I know that wasting time like this was… irresponsible...
But I should be allowed to take a break right? But it's still irresponsible-
"Bill, you're thinking too hard." Keyhole told me, even as he shoved an armful of squeaking soft things into my hands. "Just pet things and snuggle. You've been really stressed lately."
Well, if Keyhole tells me to...
...Is it bad that I just let my friends tell me what to do? But making my own decisions was so stressful. I didn't know how to do anything 'right'. So having them tell me what to do was… calming.
...is it bad? It reminded me a little of the 2nd Dimension. I hated how oppressive and mean the people were, but…. Having a job that paid well, and just being given it, without having to go out searching for it through job applications, and also having my own house just… given to me… I mean, I didn't have a choice in a lot of things, which sucked. But the security in just… having people tell me what I was supposed to do, and how to do it right?
...is it bad that I enjoyed that? It was nice to not have to stress over what decision to make.
Unlike nowadays.
I had all the power in the world, and could do anything I wanted-
Except I couldn't.
I couldn't just… mess around with people and have fun anymore.
I didn't want to be hated anymore. I didn't want to lose the people I loved anymore.
And I just...
"Bill, pet the Swibble and relax." Keyhole ordered(?)
I pet the Swibble. It was very soft.
We also moved onto the underwater petting zoo section. Keyhole and Kryptos needed a breathing tank. I didn't need to breathe, so I just sank into the water, a little worried until I realized it wasn't more than a few yards deep, and watched the colorful fish all around me. 'Are you alright? Bill?' My friends had learned quite well by now, how to project at me to communicate when we couldn't speak aloud.
'I'm alright. I'm surprised there's sharks here. I like sharks.' I watched one of the beautiful creatures swim by. Most people didn't like predator-type animals. Nevermind the fact that most aquatic life were carnivorous. There's not much to eat in the ocean aside from each other or aquatic plants. It was always weird when I met a species of animal that was an animal on one planet, and a sapient, intelligent species on another. How did that happen? Even now, the process of evolution to making People was something I didn't fully understand. I mean, animals were people too, many were capable of thought and feelings. But they weren't quite the same.
'Bill? Are you ok?' Keyhole asked, swimming over. He was watching a large eel swim by. 'Just wondering about the line between sentience and sapience.' Because I could understand certain animals 'talk'. Like termites, as an example. Vicious little things that they were. But they were still 'animals'. So what was the difference here?
A shark swam close to me, curious about the way my bricks glowed. 'Speech' with sharks don't really work the same way as with say… a cat. Sharks don't have the tongue flailing capability of mammals. Nor did insects, but they still 'talked'. In a way.
Well, I understood them in a combination of Knowing their 'language', Feeling their 'emotions', and Hearing their 'thoughts'. Limited as they were. The shark was letting out a very 'calm', 'curious' and 'not-hungry' vibes. I reached out to pet it. Ooh~ you like that, don't you?
...what exactly is the difference? I don't really get it myself.
But it's super weird when I see things like a Hamster-humanoid type of species owning a pet hamster animal-type. And I was the only one who seemed to find an issue with it? Whatever, who knows. I put that out of my mind and settled into enjoying myself at the petting zoo. I think I needed this. The calmly snuggling things, thing?
Xanthar didn't come along on this trip because he doesn't like petting zoos. I think he gets jealous. It was just me, Keyhole and Kryptos on this trip. I was going to hang out with Xanthar later today. Also, I needed to check up on Facey. Haven't really seen what he was doing. I really needed to keep better track of him. I yelped when the shark I was petting thought it would be fun to swim at me, bumping into me with it's snout. I was pretty light as a triangle, so I got pushed around, clinging to the shark. I ignored the way Keyhole laughed. He got swept away by a Vanta Ray, so I got to tease him right back.
"Bwwwuuub!" Keyhole blurbled through the breather as he was pulled away. I cackled at him. I did stretch out my arm to grab his leg and pull him back. He gave me a grateful look. 'Really Keyhole, you need to learn how to escape to safety yourself.' I scolded lightly.
'But I've got you to rescue me~' he sounded teasing. Instead of teasing back, I gave him a firm look. 'I'm serious dude, the lot of you need to learn how to learn how to defend yourselves. I mean, I taught the twins basic combat and survival, so…'
Keyhole frowned. 'Bill, are you worried something's gonna happen to us?'
'You're immortal, not indestructible. I worry.'
Kryptos floated over, 'I'm up for learning how to defend myself.' he glanced over at Keyhole. 'Wouldn't hurt to learn, it's pretty important.' The two seemed to hold a silent, non-thought projecting conversation. A tilt of a head and the shifting of expressions. Finally, Keyhole nodded.
"We should get everyone in on this combat training." Keyhole said seriously. I blinked. "Sure." That was a good idea. Why hadn't I bothered with this before? Oh right, because my Friends never got kidnapped before, or had people attempt to kidnap them, not like the twins had. So I just didn't think about it. I thought I'd be able to protect them no matter what. But I wasn't always around, so that's...
"Muscles, maybe that's what Bill's into…" Kryptos muttered. Keyhole snorted. "Ronica's like that. Likes 'em real meaty." I shuddered. Seriously. Eating people was one thing, fucking your food though? Grooooss~
We agreed to a combat-type of training exercise added to the schedule, and then I left to go back to Seb's side.
