Announcer: "And now we return to 'Super-Wackos of EVA: NERV Freaks Out', in Esperanto where available. And where not available, it's not in Esperanto. There's nothing we can do about that, so don't blame us. We have no control over it. Call your internet provider if there's some sort of a problem, or your local tech support. But if they're not giving you Esperanto and you want Esperanto, that's your problem. Not ours. Don't bug us. Complain to your elected officials or talk radio hosts! Like I'm sure they'd care! Ha! But we don't want to get any letters. Understand? Good! *AHEM* Where was I? Oh, yes-now, back to our story!"

Episode 32 - Alien vs. Nerdator

The newly-reemerged Freakazette took brief stock of her surroundings as she stretched her limbs a bit.

"Whoa, wonder what brought me over to the other side of the world?" she wondered. "'Cause I can definitely see more cherry blossom trees than usual, and last I checked, D.C. didn't have this many."

Wha-what happened? Mayumi asked as she started coming to in Freakazette's own Freakazone.

"Oh, hey there!" Freakazette greeted the bookworm, looking up towards her forehead. "You must be the one I bonded with. It's funny, you're only the first host I've had in decades! And you're a book lover, that's new!"

How do you know-wait, who are you?! Mayumi asked. And where am I?!

"Riiight, almost forgot-the name's Freakazette!" the female wacky wonder replied. "And you're in my Freakazone. It's a nice little space I've made in your head where I sometimes go to reflect on things, think profound thoughts, and mostly watch reruns of The Golden Girls. Freakazoid's usually got a similar setup with his own host, only he watches reruns of The Rat Patrol."

Wait, are you saying you're like Freakazoid?! Mayumi asked with equal parts wonder and confusion.

"Well, I could go fully into the particulars myself, but I'll leave this one to the experts," Freakazette answered before turning our way. "Take it away, Paul!"

-X-

The scene then cut to Paul Harvey's desk, the titular broadcaster in his usual position.

"Who is Freakazette? Who is this lightning-topped lady with a powerset, complexion, and fashion sense akin to Freakazoid's?

It was 1996 when this young gal in the blue jumpsuit first appeared on the scene. Dexter Douglas, thought to be a close confidant to Freakazoid, was abducted by the combined criminal cooperative consisting of the Lobe and Eye-of-Newt. Catching wind of his situation, Roddy MacStew and Cosgrove searched for the missing Douglas boy, while Steff found herself plumbing the depths of the internet for answers on, of all consoles, Dexter's. Lightning struck twice when a small butterfly flew in through the window, catching the attention of the Douglas family cat Mr. Chubbikins, who proceeded to chase after the small insect all over the keyboard, just happening to type in the same sequence that led to Dexter's own transformation that fateful day a year prior.

*OH my-there is a thumbtack under my fanny!*

Steff, unknowing of the consequences, pressed the delete key, activating the flaw in the Pinnacle chip and causing the computer to suck her in. A moment later, the computer released a figure back into the bedroom, and Freakazette made her debut. Proving to be just as heroically zany and clever as her male counterpart, she caught up with Roddy and Cosgrove, who'd managed to locate the Lobe and Eye-of-Newt's hideout. Freakazette's appearance took the two villains by great surprise, more so when she freed Dexter, who quickly transformed into Freakazoid. The battle that ensued was over in an instant, and from that day forward, a great crime-fighting partnership was born.

Once powered-down, Steff began to understand Dexter a little bit more, leading to the two of them developing a close relationship, the results of which you have already seen during Freakazoid's brief return to his home country so many chapters ago. Freakazette disappeared alongside Freakazoid when the two of them fought against the Y2K Bug at the end of the millennium, becoming trapped in the internet for a decade and a half, until she was freed in the above paragraph.

And now you know...The Rest of the Backstory. Good day!"

-X-

"That fill in the gaps for ya?" Freakazette asked her new 'roommate'.

Um...definitely, Mayumi hesitantly replied, before remembering the problem at the moment. We'll get settled later! If you're like Freakazoid, then you've gotta help me! My friend was abducted!

"Really? By who?" Freakazette asked.

Some big armored alien creep, he had a weird-looking ray gun! Mayumi frantically answered.

"Sounds like the Nerdator," Freakazette said as she held her chin and paced the room a bit, from floor to ceiling and back. "But last I heard, Freakazoid stopped him in episode 11."

Then it's probably another Nerdator, Mayumi said in turn, maybe there's an entire race of them!

"Gotta give you that, there were times when even Freakazoid didn't anticipate sequels," Freakazette said with a wink to us. "But you're right, if it's another Nerdator, then this world's nerd population's in trouble! Let's roll!"

With that, Freakazette zoomed out the window in a flash of lightning and made her way through Tokyo-3. She first checked the Tomoyuki Gardens, which had been declared a crime scene as the police went over everything with a fine-toothed comb. It was here that she got acquainted with Sgt. Kusagabe, who suggested she pop in on NERV, since it'd been reported that three key personnel of the organization had also been taken. The blue-clad wacky wonder then sped off to the nearest Geofront entrance, bypassing most of the security measures.

Central Dogma, the bridge, that moment...

While all hands were desperately using every resource at their disposal to find their missing coworkers, with Misato, the commanders, and Shinji and Rei looking on, Freakazette chose that moment to make her presence known in a brief burst of light.

"Evenin', folks, mind if I lend a hand?" she asked as she held a cartoony glove on a stick towards Misato.

As expected, the eyes of nearly everyone widened considerably upon seeing the new arrival.

"There's another one?!" Gendo and Fuyutsuki both wondered with astonishment.

"Oh, boy," Misato uttered, a large sweat drop by her head.

"Who are you?" Shinji inquired.

"'Zette. Freakazette," the superheroine said as she introduced herself. "I take it you've met my colleague, partner and erstwhile boyfriend? About yea high, red suit, crazy hairstyle?"

A look of shock then appeared on Rei's face. "B-boyfriend?" she quietly uttered to herself. The spark of a newly-discovered emotion was beginning to surface in the First Child: jealousy.

Uh-oh, Shinji thought to himself as he noticed Rei's reaction. Note to self: once this is over, me and Asuka'll need to sit Rei down and help her through this.

"So," Freakazette said as she clapped her hands together, "where'd your staff get taken from?"

Minutes later, Misato, Shinji, and Rei were with Freakazette in the parking garage where Nerdator II had zapped Asuka, Ritsuko and Maya last chapter. Gendo had been too stupefied by the sudden appearance of another being like Freakazoid to do anything to stop them. Freakazette looked over the spot in the garage, 'hmmm'-ing now and then as she looked over every inch of it, leaving the other three puzzled by her behavior. Freakazette then took out a tricorder much like the ones on Star Trek and turned it on, the gizmo's familiar beeping heard in the silence of the garage. Finally, Freakazette stopped in her pacing as she looked over the readings.

"I know what you're all thinking," she started to say before looking our way while pointing to the device. "WHERE did she get this neato-torpedo, authentic, working Starfleet tricorder? Ha-hah! Well, don't fret, 'cause it too can be yours in the next half-hour for the one-time only price of $55.99, with shipping and handling! But wait, there's more, right Tony?"

-X-

The scene then cut to the familiar set of many a commercial starring pitchman Anthony Sullivan, himself standing behind a counter with a tricorder in his hand.

"Exactly right, Freakazette!" the British pitchman affirmed as he pointed to other features of the device. "Because not only does this fan-favorite Starfleet tool perform its usual functions of sensing, computing, and recording, but it also comes with its trademark detachable probe AND a genuine leather shoulder strap, all in a complete package for any interplanetary expeditions-"

-X-

"Sorry, Tony, gotta cut you off there," Freakazette interrupted as she pointed with her thumb to Misato, Shinji, and Rei. "I've got NERV staff breathing down my neck." She then turned to face the trio.

"So what'd you find?" Misato asked. "Any clues?"

"Well, according to the readings taken," Freakazette began to explain as she fiddled with her tricorder, "there were trace amounts of energy left here by the ray fired at your friends. Once I plug in the specifics into a computer like say, the MAGI, I'll search for the area with the greatest concentration of this type of energy signature."

"Do it!" Misato said as she grabbed Freakazette desperately by the shoulders. "The fate of this world depends on those three being here!"

Shinji and Rei quickly pulled Misato back to calm her down. Moments later, they were all back on the bridge, where Freakazette quickly plugged in the data she'd taken from her scans. Soon, the MAGI was calculating and quantifying away, until finally it hit something and pulled up a map.

"Thought so," Freakazette concluded, "the greatest concentration of that energy is right there-" She proceeded to point at a specific set of coordinates. "-Somewhere near the base of Mt. Fuji. Shades of Destroy All Monsters, amIrite?"

Misato then got her phone out, quickly dialed a number, and started speaking into it. "All Section-2 units, we've got possible confirmation of our missing personnel's current location! Meet me in the center of the city and then proceed to the base of Mt. Fuji, on the double!"

Before Misato could say something to Freakazette, the second wacky wonder had already literally bolted in a flash of lighting from Central Dogma and was now heading towards Mt. Fuji.

The base of Mt. Fuji, minutes later...

Freakazette soon arrived at her destination, and took a moment to marvel at one of the most famous natural wonders of the world.

"Wow, it's just as majestic in real life," the heroine commented as she quickly snapped a photo with her camera.

So where's this energy being concentrated? Mayumi asked.

"Wherever it is, it's been cleverly hidden," Freakazette responded at her most hammy while starting her search. "And something tells me one wouldn't just walk straight into-" Her train of thought was cut off when she walked face-first into something very solid and metallic with a loud *CLANG* and fell flat on her back, star-patterned birds flying and chirping around her dazed face.

Are you all right?! Mayumi asked with concern.

Freakazette quickly shook it off and started looking at the spot where she'd been halted at. She then looked down at the ground and noticed some of the grass looked like it was being pressed flat. Doing a double-take from that to the spot, she then tapped on what looked like thin air, only to hear a metallic sound with each rapping.

"I knew it, this new Nerdator's got a ship, and the ship's got a cloaking device!" Freakazette determined.

Then how do we get inside when we can't even find the door? Mayumi asked.

"What else? We make our own," Freakazette answered with a grin as she took out from behind herself an ACME progressive can opener. Once she pressed the button on its handle, the pulsing, vibrating blade was then sunk into the invisible metal wall and Freakazette proceeded to cut a rectangular opening while twisting the knob to move it along. Once she pushed the slab of metal out of the way, she quietly, carefully sneaked inside and began making her way through the ship/base. Eventually, she found an open doorway and peered around it, discovering it was the room holding all the caged nerds. Nerdator II was over in one corner making some adjustments to his intelligence-absorbing apparatus. She then peered towards one cage in particular, which held the missing NERV staff and Kensuke.

"That guy's Kensuke?" Freakazette softly asked.

Y-yes, Mayumi replied. Oh, thank goodness he's all right.

"I wouldn't worry too much," Freakazette said, "looks like he's been in good hands ever since bonding with Freakazoid."

Wait, KENSUKE's Freakazoid?! Mayumi said, shocked by what her new 'roommate' just revealed.

"100% guaranteed," Freakazette affirmed. "I can see a very familiar Freak-a-aura emanating from him. If we can get him free, two Freaks have a fighting chance against our geek-gathering friend."

Then what're we waiting for? Mayumi asked.

"Don't wanna rush it," Freakazette replied. "Figure it's better to get him with the element of surprise. I saw a computer room back there, so let's see if we can dig up anything that can help us."

Mayumi nodded, and Freakazette quietly made her way backwards to the aforementioned computer room. She quickly started typing and going through all the data contained within, until finally she came upon something that made her smile with anticipation. It was then that she turned her attention to the other major machine in the room: the teleportation device...

The prison bloc, moments later...

"Perfect," Nerdator II said as he finished his final adjustments and turned towards his prisoners. "And now, prepare yourselves...for the mother of all infodumps!" He laughed as he started to turn the apparatus on. Before he could flip a fourth switch, Freakazette zipped in unexpectedly.

"Stop right there with the info dumping!" Freakazette shouted. This caught Nerdator II's attention, along with that of the NERV staff in one of the cages. Two of their number were very surprised in particular.

"There's another one?!" both Asuka and Ritsuko wondered, flabbergasted by Freakazette's appearance.

She did it! Kensuke mentally lauded, Mayumi came through!

All right, Mayumi! Freakazoid cheered as he waved a pair of yellow pom-poms.

So...that's Freakazette? Kensuke asked his 'roommate'.

Yep, Freakazoid replied. Isn't she neat?

"Another Freakazoid?!" Nerdator II wondered. "Well, it won't matter, for soon I'll have absorbed the knowledge of every nerd on the planet! You're too late!"

"You could say that..." Freakazette said as the sound of machinery humming began to fill the air. "If you didn't count on me whipping up a little surprise!"

Nerdator II's ears perked up at the humming. "That sound-the teleporter! What have you done?!"

"A couple little things," Freakazette said with an overly-sweet tone of voice. "First I accessed your ship's computer to get a quick primer on Nerdators. Then when I found something pretty interesting, I did a little programming of your teleporter to bring a special guest to help liven things up here."

Soon, a column of flashing, glittering light appeared towards the center of the room, and a shape began to emerge within it.

"Turns out Nerdators, as a species, have a natural enemy..." Freakazette hinted at with a grin.

Soon the shape became clearer as the column subsided. All eyes but Freakazette's went wide when they looked upon who it was that she'd teleported in.

The newcomer was a green-skinned, heavy-set alien. He wore a white tank top that couldn't contain his massive belly, with the letters R and L on each respective side of the chest area. He also wore somewhat large shoulder pads, a pair of white gloves, a pair of bluish trunks, and black boots. On his head was a large white helmet with two pink ringed antennae jutting out from the sides, and a stubby antenna on top that looked like the top of a baby bottle. In the center of the helmet's front was a yellow circle with an atom symbol on it. On the alien's face was a very dopey-looking expression, accentuated by a slight overbite.

"Deuuuhhh, IIIII am Bo-Ron," the alien greeted in an equally-dopey voice.

Nerdator II was extremely shocked by this development. "A Baronian?! Here?!"

Huh, never thought I'd see that guy again, Freakazoid mused.

Bo-Ron then took notice of Nerdator II, and his face soon contorted into something brimming with animosity. "NNNNNEEERRRRDATOOOOR!" he bellowed as he leaped at Nerdator II with an agility that seemed quite the contrast to his girth.

"Oh, nutbunnies," Nerdator II managed to get out before he and Bo-Ron were caught in a scuffle that was conveniently covered by a cartoony dust cloud. Nerdator II managed to get both his arms above the dust cloud, where he then pressed a button on his gauntlet. This in turn opened up a chamber where a group of robot enforcers emerged, all of whom were heading towards Freakazette. Seeing this, the female wacky wonder zipped over to the cage Kensuke and the NERV staff were in and bent the bars enough for them to get out. Asuka and Ritsuko made a beeline for a weapons rack and armed themselves, while Freakazette kneeled in front of Kensuke.

"Head to the computer room," she urged, "and see if you can get our 'mutual friend' over here." She then winked knowingly, giving Kensuke a hint to what she meant. Kensuke nodded and quickly made a beeline for the hallway. Once he was out of sight, three words left his mouth.

"Ooooh, Freak Out!"

In a flash, Freakazoid was back in the room and joined in the ruckus, as he and Freakazette engaged in fisticuffs with some of the enforcers while Ritsuko and Asuka picked the others off with the blasters they'd taken; all while Bo-Ron and Nerdator II continued to struggle, and Maya and Makoto worked to free the other imprisoned nerds and guide them to the safety of the computer room, which they'd managed to find. Finally, after several more minutes, the fracas was over. Freakazoid and Freakazette wiped the dust from their hands as they looked over their half of the dismantled enforcers, while a smirking Asuka stood triumphantly over hers and Ritsuko's pile, blaster rifle slung over her shoulder. Bo-Ron, for his part, sat atop the defeated Nerdator II, until he noticed the pair of Freaks and smiled. He then got up and walked over to them and ensnared them in a strong bear hug.

"Oooooh, red underwear man! Blue jumpsuit lady!" he said joyfully as he hugged them with a tight grip. "IIIII missed you guys!"

"Nice to see you too, big fella," Freakazoid got out in a slightly-choked voice. Bo-Ron then relaxed his grip and set them down, and they then walked over to Ritsuko and Asuka.

"Think we should check on the others?" Freakazoid suggested. The quartet then headed to the computer room, where Maya and Makoto were waiting for them with the other former prisoners.

"You all right?" Maya asked.

"Don't worry," Ritsuko said. "You should see the other guys." She then held up the tip of her blaster's still-smoking barrel and blew the wisp away coolly.

While Maya sighed with relief, Makoto was the next to speak up. "I think Maya, Dr. Akagi and myself can figure out the teleporter and get everyone here back to where they were snatched from."

"Good luck," Freakazette said, "in the meantime, the Major and co. are probably almost here, so you guys should be able to get back to Tokyo-3."

"Guess we'll see you around then," Ritsuko said as she shook the blonde heroine's hand. The two superheroes then headed out.

Asuka, at that moment, chuckled a bit.

"Something funny, Asuka?" Ritsuko asked.

"Oh, just thinking about how this whole ordeal confirmed we're not alone in the universe," Asuka replied.

On hearing that, Ritsuko began to chuckle herself. "Yeah, you've got a point there. Turns out there's as much unintelligent life as there is intelligent, if Bo-Ron's any indicator."

Meanwhile, Freakazoid and Freakazette went back to check on Bo-Ron, guarding the still-unconscious Nerdator II.

"Thanks for the assist, big guy," Freakazoid said to the large alien.

"Deeeeeuuuuuhhh, noooo proooooblem," Bo-Ron said.

"Think you can stick around for a little bit?" Freakazoid asked. "I got a feeling we might need you again later."

Bo-Ron eagerly nodded 'yes'.

"Great! See ya later!" Freakazoid said as he and Freakazette soon departed in a flash of lightning.

A couple of blocks from Kensuke's apartment building, moments later...

The two Freaks arrived at an alleyway where they could have a moment's peace. Once they saw the coast was clear, they took a quick moment to catch up fully with each other.

"'Zoid!" Freakazette said enthusiastically.

"'Zette!" Freakazoid said, likewise.

The two then shared a big kiss that would've made even Bugs Bunny blush.

"Think the kids need a breather?" Freakazoid asked.

"I'm guessing," Freakazette replied with a shrug.

With that, the two of them then stood and said two words simultaneously:

"Freak In!"

In a great flash of light and static, Kensuke and Mayumi stood where Freakazoid and Freakazette, respectively, had been before. The two teens shook their heads to get their bearings again. Mayumi then looked at Kensuke with surprise, while Kensuke himself felt a bit sheepish.

"So...some first date this turned out to be," the otaku said as he absentmindedly scratched the back of his head.

"That was...that was...it was so unbelievable!" Mayumi said with a slight tinge of panic.

"Welcome to my world as of some months ago," Kensuke replied. "You get used to it after a while."

"That's an understatement of the year," Mayumi said. "But now I kind of get an idea of what you go through."

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," Kensuke apologized. "We were a bit desperate, and you know the thing with superheroes and secret identities..."

"Right," Mayumi said. "And...I'm kind of glad you trusted me enough to do this. Otherwise the world would've had a serious brain drain on its hands."

"If you'd like, I can help you adjust to all this," Kensuke offered. "And...would you still be up for that movie next time?"

Mayumi gave it a bit of thought before she replied. "...Yes, on both counts," she answered with a small smile.

Kensuke returned it with one of his own, before he got slightly serious. "Good. 'Cause there's a lot we need to catch you and your new, er, roommate up on."

Good thing I've got the slideshows saved! Freakazoid chimed in.

Ooh! I love slideshows! Freakazette added.

Both bespectacled teens, as they heard these two statements, looked towards their foreheads as sweat drops appeared by the sides of their heads, before letting out slightly-exasperated sighs.

To be continued...

**Author's Note(s)**

And so Nerdator II is defeated, with all the nerds returned to their respective places on Earth, thanks to the timely intervention of the returned Freakazette, and an unexpected returning Freakazoid ally!

Speaking of, Bo-Ron (originally voiced by the late, great Stan Freberg) originated in season one, episode 3, where he first appeared under the name Mo-Ron. He next appeared, with the name change, in episode 11's segment "Next Time, Phone Ahead", a parody of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. His home planet of Barone was named after Barone's, an Italian restaurant and Southern Calfornia institution that the staff and cast of Freakazoid frequented. Bo-Ron's last appearance in the show proper was season two's "Freak-A-Panel" in a non-speaking cameo. He would also silently cameo in the final episode of Pinky and the Brain, "Star Warners", as the standing bass player of the cantina band made up of himself, Freakazoid (on drums), and Fan Boy (on accordion).

The opening of this chapter riffs on the Joe Leahy cold open for episode 5 of season one, in which the announcer gets a bit touchy while delivering a disclaimer about the show being in stereo where available.

Freakazette's bit with the tricorder and Anthony Sullivan riffs on Freakazoid's own bit with his binoculars and Joan Rivers in the season one episode "Freakazoid is History!". Sullivan is pretty much the successor to the late Billy Mays.

The 1968 Godzilla series entry Destroy All Monsters features a climactic battle at the base of Mt. Fuji, where the alien antagonists the Kilaaks had been hiding.

Among Bugs Bunny's usual gags was planting big, wet kisses on his antagonists, usually to get them all riled up and, as a result, overconfident.

Next time: our heroes versus the Sixteenth Angel! And Armisael's gonna wish he'd stayed in bed...