A/N: Life has proved a roller coaster. I hope everyone is keeping well and here is a chapter to brighten your day.
Thank you for all the interest and love for this story.
Paul's POV
Summer was here, as high school had officially ended. All that was left was waiting for our test results, and unfortunately, today was that day. I knew that Zara needed time to look at her grades privately, so here I was waiting for her to find me when she was ready. She was no doubt feeling sick to the stomach right now with nerves because no one had tried harder than her to study. My stomach turned for her because I knew that I would be upset, too if she didn't get what she wanted.
It was a bright afternoon, and the sun was out in full force to the point where I felt its hot rays against my back as I tried to distract myself by washing my car. Yet my mind kept going back to Zara and scenarios raced through my brain. Trying to focus my energy, I rubbed the sponge harder across the hood of my car. It will be fine. I told myself this continuously as I worked; however, it didn't last long as I heard the screech of tires. Not wanting to look desperate or too eager I ignored the sound of a car pulling up, the slamming of a door and the sounds of tapping little heels that could only belong to the person I was waiting on.
"Paul!"
I heard the shout, and this caused my head to come up instantly. Zara was running towards me, and the wind was pulling at her skirt and long hair as she came up the driveway. There was a brilliant smile on her face, and I breathed out a sigh of relief as I dropped the yellow sponge back into a nearby bucket.
Zara could hardly contain herself as she was overwhelmed. "I got in. I did it! I passed!"
I couldn't control the smile that broke across my face, too as she stopped in front of me. "I'm sure you did better than just passing," I teased, and Zara could tell by my expression that I was waiting to hear her actual grades since I'd had to continually work to remind her that she wasn't going to fail.
Zara bit her lip then and appeared guilty. "I got all A's," she said quietly and before I could say anything she held up her hands, "I know what you are going to say, but I honestly thought that I was going to fail," she justified.
I let it go because no matter how irrational Zara's thoughts had been, I knew that she had had a genuine fear and she had managed to convince herself that she was going to fail. She had done well to get over that mental hurdle.
I watched as Zara's expression turned anxious then as her eyes filled with concern. "What about you?"
I worked to act as casual as possible. "Not as good as you," I said obviously, "But I got straight B's."
It was with this that Zara began hitting me excitedly. "Well done!" she said as her voice became high-pitched and squeaky. "Oh, my God, you are the whole package- Smart as well."
A rush of heat circulated underneath my skin, and I knew then that I was embarrassed by her words because, despite my cocky nature, I didn't think I was all that.
"You did so great. And you tried so hard," Zara continued. "I'm so proud of you!"
Despite all the nice things Zara was saying I was getting more and more awkward. "T-hanks," I said, scratching the back of my head while being unable to look at her for a few seconds.
Zara worked to calm herself down and then smiled. "Sorry."
I shook my head; it wasn't her fault that I wasn't used to people complimenting me. "Have you told your parents about your results?" I asked, trying to deflect from myself.
Zara nodded. "Yes. They think that we should all celebrate." She then clapped her hands together, "I can't believe that we've finished high school."
It was then that I leaned against my car to stare off into the distance for a moment. "It will be life-changing, alright," I acknowledged. It was with this statement that a silence settled between us, and when I turned my attention back to Zara, her eyebrows were set in a serious expression. She reached for my hand, which I gladly gave to her.
Will our relationship stay the same?
"We've got this," she encouraged with a squeeze as if reading my mind.
Looking at Zara now I couldn't help but believe her, so I was compelled to pull her close. Zara squealed as her hands urgently came up to keep me at arm's length.
"I don't think so. Your soaking wet Paul," Zara whined. She was right because I could feel her hands through my damp t-shirt; they were hot against my skin.
"Well if that is the only problem," I stated before snatching up the hose that I had left on the gravel driveway.
Although Zara had come to know me too well and could have predicted my move, she was still too slow as a human. Her hands came up in defence, and she turned to her side, trying to dodge the spray of water. It was no use as I moved with her making quick work of soaking her skirt and the shirt that was tucked into it. If I had known beforehand that her clothes were made of such thin material, I would have gone easy on her. It was only now seeing how it stuck to her body that I realized. Quickly, I cut the water off, but Zara charged towards me, trying to wrestle the hose out of my hand. However, I just moved to hold the hose above my head so that it was out of her reach.
"I'll get you back," she promised when I brought my free arm around her waist and triumphantly leaned in close.
"But you always said you wanted a kiss in the rain," I teased while moving the hose above us and turning it back on. The water fell to soak Zara's hair, but she didn't shiver though because she was held tightly against my chest. Zara merely smirked as she peered up at me beneath her thick eyelashes as the water rolled down her skin and dripped from her chin. There was something more appealing about Zara now that she was drenched, and she had no complaints when I urgently pressed my lips to hers.
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That weekend
When Zara had mentioned that there would be a party, she had been serious. It was a full house as her parents had invited myself, my mom and William along with Emily, Sam and the entire gang. It was the first time we had all come together, and It made for a crowd, so the party had to spill out into the garden. The air was buzzing as there were so many conversations happening at once. I had taken to sitting on the window seat of the living room and watching everyone. Emily and Alia were chatting with such enthusiasm about cooking and raising families. Arjun surprisingly connected with Sam as they were bonding over their shared obsession for FY1 racing. Meanwhile, Embry and Jacob were fooling around with Fabien while Kim was chatting to Zara as Jared kept her company.
"So Seattle," I heard Kim say as I tuned into their conversation.
Zara nodded. "Yes. The University of Washington."
Kim tried not to look sad, as she stated. "You'll be moving."
Zara laughed but seemed happy by Kim's reaction. "It's not that far."
I wasn't sure if it was because of the turn in the conversation, but suddenly reality was hitting me like a freight train. Zara was leaving for Washington. She was about to embark upon a new chapter of her life which didn't really include me. Zara was going to be a part of a campus culture and return to the city life. What if she enjoyed it so much that she didn't want to come back to La Push? What if she met a guy that was more good-looking and smarter?
Zara was continuing to talk excitedly, and this caused another niggling thought to surface in my brain- She didn't look the least bit worried about leaving, La Push…about leaving me. Usually, people would at least be nervous and a little sad, but she wasn't at all. Irrationally, I could practically feel the jealousy creeping, as I became insecure. Yet this was quickly overshadowed by something more substantial. It was the realization that I needed a career because leech hunting didn't count. I needed money to live after all, and for my pride, I had to earn so I could prove myself to Zara.
The party continued around me, a sea of smiling faces but I was suddenly feeling cold, and a little stressed.
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A few days later
I knew today was the day that Zara was going shopping for her school supplies and the basic things she needed for her move. My mixture of feelings had only intensified over the days that had passed since the party, and I was conflicted. Being a jealous boyfriend was not a good look for anyone, so I hid my turmoil from Zara. I needed to be supportive, so I had agreed to come shopping with her.
I had arrived early and let myself into Zara's house. My feet already knew where to go as if they had the route memorized, so I was walking up the stairs to Zara's room. I didn't announce my arrival as I swung her bedroom door open, yet I found that Zara wasn't there. My eyebrows came together in surprise, but it was then through the quiet, I heard crying. My head immediately snapped towards the direction of the sound, and I went straight for the bathroom door. I was knocking straight away. "Zara."
"Yeah," came her shaky reply, a good few seconds later, "I'm just getting ready."
I didn't buy her lie, as I heard Zara quickly moving around the bathroom.
"Open the door," I told her.
There were those continued sniffs. "I'm coming out soon. I'm just changing."
I didn't give up. "You can't fool me, Zara. Open the door."
It seemed that Zara didn't need much convincing because the door clicked open then. I barged in straight away only to confirm that Zara was already fully dressed. She had already walked away to stand by the window with her back to me as I came into the bathroom. Zara was using her hands to air her eyes, trying to dry them while she swallowed down her sniffs.
Despite being so desperate to face Zara, I now realized that I hadn't had the time to think about what I should say.
"I can't do this," Zara finally admitted with a shaky breath, filling in the silence.
It was at this moment that my chest seized up, and it was fear like I hadn't felt for some time, and the intensity nearly overwhelmed me.
Zara pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. "I've never left my family before. I don't want to move away on my own," she mumbled, "I won't have any friends. You won't be there. It's going to be hard."
I internally sighed as the pressure left my chest. For one scary moment, I'd thought that Zara couldn't handle a long-distance relationship.
Moving towards Zara, I put my hands on her shoulder. It looked like she was experiencing the same reality freight train that I had days ago. "It's going to be a big change. I know your not a fan of that but trust me you will do great," I told her.
Zara wasn't convinced though and just covered her face with her hands.
"You're only an hour away, and you have your car. I'll visit you whenever I can and you can video call," I went on.
"I know," Zara sobbed out, and instinctively I couldn't help but quickly hug her from behind. I wasn't sure it was the familiarity of my arms or the heat of my body, but Zara soon stopped shaking, and with time her breathing evened out until there was the occasional sniff.
"I'm sorry," was Zara's standard knee jerk reaction that I had gotten so used to now, "It just all hit me this morning when I realized why we were going shopping."
I shook my head in response. "It's okay, and if I'm honest, I started freaking out about reality too, although it happened a few days ago." There was a pang of guilt that I experienced then at being bothered by how well Zara had been taking things. I was now regretting feeling that way because it was better to see her relaxed then panicking.
I hugged Zara tighter. "You'll be fine. I know you hate hearing that because it doesn't help, but I mean it."
Zara only accepted my attempt to comfort her for a few short seconds before she started to pull away. "Eventually I know I'll be fine. I'm only getting nervous because I'm not too fond of change…but there's something else. What are we going to do about us?" she asked then.
"What about us?" I asked as I let her go.
I watched as Zara's panic made a slow return. "Long-distance relationships are hard, and some couples break up. And what are you going to do? The last time I left La Push, the imprinting turned on you."
Although Zara's words were all true, I didn't want to accept them. I didn't want to tell Zara that all her concerns were valid. Why couldn't I lie?
I sighed. "I'm not saying that you're not right Zara…but that's not us. We can be the exception."
Zara's eyes were filled with worry as she sat on the windowsill. "You didn't answer my question about the imprinting."
"I'll survive," I said determinedly then, "I'm not going to be the reason you don't go to college."
Zara's anxiety only grew, and she frowned. "I don't want you to resent me for it."
It was getting harder to reason with her. "Zara stop it. I won't," I told her, "What's gotten into you?"
Zara paused for a second before shaking her head. "I don't know…I'm just feeling insecure and I don't know what will reassure me."
It was the look in Zara's eyes, then that hurt my heart. She looked so lost, and all I wanted to do was make it disappear. I don't remember sinking to the floor but the next thing I knew I was down on one knee. It was a completely impulsive gesture and a reaction that was more suited for a high school drama than real life.
Zara lost her breath then as she froze. "Paul…what an earth are you doing?"
It was the heat of the moment that was driving me, but I still experienced the raging nerves. I looked up at Zara. "P-proposing apparently…This is how serious I am about us."
Zara was stuck in shock, but it slowly morphed into dazed confusion. "I'm sorry to ask but have you thought this through?"
It was odd, but I was finding now that being on my knees in front of Zara made me feel strangely vulnerable, and her hesitation was feeling like a rejection.
I had to answer her truthfully, though. "Not really," I told her.
It was with this that a small smile finally broke across Zara's face as she wiped away at her drying tears. She laughed despite herself as her gaze settled on my hands. "I guessed as much."
Realization dawned on me then when I remembered that my hands were empty. I didn't have a ring or even a box to present to her. "Ermm…."
It was with my lack of words that Zara's expression slowly turned into one of disappointment. She misunderstood.
I brought my hands up as I tried to fix the situation. "No. I mean, I have thought about it. I just wasn't planning on doing it so soon, but I do know that I am going to marry you." My eyes squeezed shut for a second against the need for my body to cringe against my words naturally. What was I saying? I wasn't romantic at all. I tried not to completely give up as I swallowed down a sigh and continued. "That may have sounded possessive; I swear its not the imprinting. I am not just assuming you'll say yes its-"
I wasn't sure what I was more thankful for, the lips that were suddenly covering mines or the fact that I didn't have to talk anymore.
Zara's hands appeared at the sides of my face so that she could hold me in place as she kissed me thoroughly. I had forgotten how she could affect me until I experienced a familiar heat in the pit of my stomach. There was a need for me to pull away before another part of me came to life. Luckily Zara did first, and she was slightly breathless, as did. Her eyes were shining now, and there was a grin that I came face to face with when my eyes slowly opened.
"You are a little hopeless at speeches," she teased while joining me on the floor.
Even though I know Zara was lightening the mood, I remained uncharacteristically serious. I took her hands from my face and held them. "Listen, I meant it when I said. I do want to marry you."
Zara nodded in understanding. "I know Paul but just not, yet which is fine."
I thought for a millisecond then before shrugging. "To be honest, maybe there is no point in waiting since I mean I was going to propose eventually anyway...What do you think?" I asked her.
Zara tried to suppress her laughter at my continued non-romantic streak before she thought. "Well, it's an irrational idea…but I wouldn't mind."
My heart picked up in speed, and the thumping reached my ears. "Is that a yes then?"
It was with my blunt words that Zara finally seemed also to understand the gravity of our situation.
"Well…Y-es," she managed to finally say and surprisingly I wasn't sure how even to feel. I was pleased, of course, but I should have been ecstatic; I know my inner wolf was because it was one step closer to assuring shapeshifter babies. Me, on the other hand, I was experiencing an overwhelming sensation of fear.
Reality.
A/N: A shocking proposal indeed.
Next chapter titled: Goodbyes
