A/N: I know! It's been wayyy too long again! I'm so sorry! End-of-year-stuffs kept me busy. However, I managed to write another chapter, wanna read it? You know you do ;)
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Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives
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Chapter 126: A Study Of Iruka Umino
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I said I'd go talk to him. That I'd let him know that even though he did an awful thing, I don't think he's a monster. Oh, but I do! He hurt someone so gentle, so innocent. If it were anyone else… but Iruka! The man is barely a shinobi - he's simply too kind. That's why he became a teacher, isn't it? Because the life of a shinobi was too tough on him? And that's the kind of man Izumo hurt?! How dare he?! No, I have to calm down. I can't walk in thinking about all the different ways to hurt that guy. Besides, Gai already roughed him up, Kakashi's words, not mine. If Kakashi says he got roughed up a bit, he's probably black and blue and quite possibly bleeding all over the place. He's had his due. I need to calm myself down. I can deal with these feelings later…
Asuma Sarutobi pulled a small face as he prepared himself to knock on the door. Hesitating for a brief moment, he considered all the less stressful things he could be doing right now. All the things that wouldn't torment him like this. But then the bearded jounin quietly scolded himself; it had to be done, didn't it? Better do it, then. Extending his hand just a little, he finally knocked on the wooden door, "Kurenai? I brought the stuff you asked for…" slowly opening the door just a little, the bearded man slipped through.
She was laying on her side, looking at him with weary eyes, "Asuma… thank you," a brave smile spread over the woman's face, "I'm sorry, I'm feeling pretty bad today."
Asume merely nodded, there wasn't anything to say after all. She'd been up when he left for the store, but obviously felt too crummy to be up now. And there was nothing he could do about it. So, instead of talking about it, he asked if she was thirsty.
"Yeah, a little. I realized after I laid down, but I really didn't want to get up again…"
Setting down the bag with the remainder of the groceries - the things Asuma figured she might want after some water - he went to fetch her a glass. Helping her sit up, he supported the woman he loved gently while she took small, deliberate sips of water. For just a few moments there was silence, but then Asuma couldn't hold back anymore, "I ran into Kakashi on the way over to the store," he said quietly.
She froze for a moment, red eyes seeking his, "Is this a good thing or a bad thing…?"
Unable to hold it in, Asuma smiled wide, "We finally made up, it seems. He said something about learning not to hold on to grudges so much anymore, and -" suddenly falling quiet, he remembered what had sparked this comment from the copy ninja.
'Izumo got his due, no need to go after the guy any further. I don't want the whole village to turn on the guy, you know?' I know, Kakashi. And I know I said I'd go talk to the guy but… I don't know what to say! I'm so angry about all this!
"Asuma…?" setting the glass down on the bedside table, she extended her hand to cup his face, "What's going on? You say you guys made up but then why are you so upset?"
He pulled a face, shaking himself out of his own thoughts, "It's something else we talked about. I… I really don't mean to make you worry about anything, so I need you to know it's being handled, but… I don't want to keep this from you either. Best to hear it before word of mouth gets around."
Kurenai nodded slowly, motioning for the bag of groceries by the door, "There's sauerkraut in there, right? And you got the mayonnaise? And the chocolate?"
"Yes," getting up, Asuma reached into the bag, "Which one do you want first?"
She frowned at him, a sharp tone in her voice, "All of them. And then you tell me what you and Kakashi talked about that's got you so on edge."
He retrieved the items, handing them to her without a word. Asuma sat down next to her on the bed, "Do you remember the debacle with Izumo?" He tried not to gag as he watched her scoop a mouthful of sauerkraut with the chocolate, squirting the thing with mayonnaise before sticking it in her mouth. Her mouth full, Kurenai simply nodded before motioning for him to keep talking. Unwilling to watch her commit her culinary crimes any longer, Asuma cast his gaze down.
"Apparently he found another guy that… likes guys too -"
"Shikamaru?" She managed to squeeze around the food in her mouth.
Asuma's eyes shot up, appalled, "Gods no! What even makes you think that Shikamaru could -"
"You did," Kurenai managed to swallow her food, cocking her head at the man she loved, "There was this whole thing with you acting like an ass to him, as you so aptly put it yourself," she counted on her fingers, "Then there was this huge argument with Kakashi, and suddenly you started to wonder if you guys had ever been friends the way you thought you had. Shikamaru then started hanging out with Kakashi - pretty much all the time. According to Shino they basically live together. Also, you haven't spoken to Shikamaru since you two had your argument. You're a good guy, Asuma. You wouldn't stop talking to him over a misunderstanding. The only logical reason would be to assume that it's because he's gay. It's the only thing I know you wouldn't be able to look past. And it would fit with his sudden friendship with Kakashi too."
Frowning, Asuma shook his head a little, "What does any of that have to do with Kakashi?"
The woman sighed, reaching for another piece of chocolate, "You mean to tell me you still didn't realize that Kakashi is gay as balls? Come on…"
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Tsunade checked the sensei's note one more time. Yes, this had to be the place. Iruka's apartment was on the second floor, the corner unit. Taking a deep breath, she started up the stairs. As soon as the blonde arrived on the second floor landing the curtain on her right rustled, the woman had to suppress a shiver but kept walking nonetheless; Iruka had warned her about his nosy neighbor. Apparently she spent her days watching the staircase, hurrying to the narrow window next to her door whenever someone arrived. Tsunade let out a quiet sigh as she stuck Iruka's key in his lock. This was going to be hard enough without an audience, but it seemed she had no choice. She slipped through the door as soon as her body would fit, refusing to give the neighbor a better look inside the sensei's apartment. Immediately after closing the door the blonde slipped off her shoes. She decided she would take a look around first. That way she could see what needed done and which tasks she should prioritize.
The bathroom was directly on her left, so that's where she went first. Straight across from her was a sink with a mirror, beside it an overflowing hamper. It seemed entirely likely that all of the sensei's bed sheets were in there. Leaning over, Tsunade lifted the sheet that was on top. Blood. Blood on this sheet, blood on the one below it. She sighed, dropping the fabric and turning around. The rest of the bathroom seemed fine, and she wasn't here to snoop. Turning into Iruka's room, the blonde immediately noticed the dishes in the sink, the tap still dripping. Turning off the flow, she looked around a bit. Clearly he'd been in the middle of doing his dishes when Izumo had come by. Tsunade wiped a hand over her eyes, that poor, poor man.
Turning around, the Hokage realized that for the moment at least the sink and the half washed dishes were the most important. They were starting to smell - and even without that - they were an eyesore and a distraction. So she shrugged off her hoari and got to work. It didn't take very long, but the work was monotone and something that Lady Tsunade was no longer accustomed to.
I wonder just how often Izumo has been here. According to Iruka, it happened quite a lot. Did Izumo really just not notice? Is Iruka that good at hiding his pain? I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is getting both of them back on their feet as soon as possible. I can't keep losing shinobi like this! First Kakashi. Then, when Shikamaru turns out to be the only person Kakashi seems willing to rely on, I had to keep him in the village too. Well, at least he's actually earning his keep, so…
The blonde frowned for a moment.
Shikaku was right. I did push things too far. I keep telling myself that I want to make sure that Shikamaru can handle taking over his father's duties but I think it's about time I admit to myself that that's never going to happen anyway. It doesn't matter what I want, Shikamaru will not take the position of Jounin Commander. That leaves me with the issue of who will be Jounin Commander. I guess I have a few more years to figure that out, at least.
Done with the dishes, she set them aside to dry before turning towards the room once more.
This is a pigsty! There's paperwork everywhere, he hasn't cleaned the floor in ages and - Oh, I knew it was going to be like this.
She doubled back to the coatrack where she'd left her haori, taking a few empty scrolls out of the inner pocket before setting herself to her task once more.
Paperwork got sorted, stacked and sealed. Tsunade did her best to tell the difference between the pages, but it wasn't always clear which assignment belonged to which stack.
Apparently he's been keeping the children busy with papers and tests while he himself was slowly falling apart. He's still going to have to deal with this stuff, though.
She worked as fast as she could, knowing that Shizune and Shikaku were trying to hide her absence. Yet at the same time, Tsunade couldn't help but linger a little inside the sensei's apartment.
You can tell the kind of guy he is just from looking around here. The books he's been collecting - mostly early editions of the classics - the fact that he's been holding on to so many drawings by his picture on his nightstand - those have to be his parents, right? Kakashi told me they're dead, that they died during the Nine-Tails' attack. And then there's these…
A small chuckle escaped the woman as she scooped up an unruly stack of magazines from the floor beside the bed. She thumbed through the first for a moment before setting the pile aside. It didn't matter. By all accounts the man was old enough to have magazines like these. Still, she straightened the pile out before setting them on top of the bookcase where they wouldn't be found at first glance. Gritting her teeth, she then got to work on the bed, pulling the sheets off and stuffing them in the hamper with the rest of them.
I'm going to have to actually do something with these at some point… But with stains that old, I honestly don't know if I even could get them clean again. It's probably best to dispose of these all together. If need be, I'll buy him new sheets myself.
Suddenly disgusted with the soiled fabric, Tsunade started pulling it all out of the hamper, separating the few actual clothes that were in there before sealing the blood-stained whites into another scroll. She decided to just burn the scroll later tonight.
Now the Hokage started getting to work in earnest, pulling all of the young man's clothes out of his closet and sealing them into yet another scroll, separating the clean ones from those that needed washing. In the process, she found a wool scarf that was hidden away in the back of the closet. It was somewhat bloody, but seemed to hold some sort of importance to the young brunet given that it was carefully wrapped in paper. Tsunade just put it back where she found it.
By the time she was done, it was dark out. Hopefully Iruka had gone to bed already. Tsunade decided she would just give the man his stuff when she went over again tomorrow, he could probably deal with the lack of underwear for one more night and she desperately needed a drink.
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"Kurenai!" Asuma jumped to his legs, staring at her in disbelief as he breathed heavily.
She ignored him, breaking off another piece of chocolate to dip in her sauerkraut. Once she had a sufficient amount of sauerkraut, she reached for the mayonnaise, squirting a hefty helping of it on top of her sauerkraut. The look on Kurenai's face was one of sheer delight as she took a large bite. It wasn't until she'd finished eating her sauerkraut-and-mayo-covered-chocolate that Kurenai finally looked up, "So if that's not what you guys fought over, what the hell happened between you two?"
"It's… we weren't fighting over it… Just… I had some issues to work out, I suppose." Deflated, he sank back down on the edge of the bed.
"Right. You had to track back and realize that it's not any of your bloody business, got it. Now, what was this about Izumo and Shikamaru?"
"Nothing! They - they're not…!"
"Uh-huh…" Clearly not believing the man, she reached for another pickle.
"No," Asuma spoke through clenched teeth, "They're not." He took a deep breath, looking away from her atrocious food choices as he muttered, "Apparently Izumo was involved with Iruka-sensei…"
The heap of barely-supported-by-the-chocolate sauerkraut fell to the sheets, Kurenai's mouth ajar as she could only stare at Asuma for a few long seconds, "You mean to tell me… That Iruka Umino is gay?"
