"I'm tired of that fantasy, I'm tired of the daydream

Tired of just waiting to fall asleep to see you

I know it's imaginary but I think my mind is ready

Need to leave this sanctuary for something true

I just want the real thing"

~ Ruel, "Real Thing"


Chapter 38: All at Once

It happened gradually and then all at once.

There was something special about how everything started from small moments — lingering gazes and moments of curiosity. It might have been an initial stage of wondering, imagining, questioning, but it was delicate enough that one accidental slip was what had them tumbling into something more tangible and exploratory.

After that night — in hindsight, she realized she wouldn't have minded being stuck in a closet with Damian on any other day when they weren't in the middle of a robbery — her body wanted to do things she'd never considered before. A quiet afternoon led to wandering fingers while her mind silently laughed at a dumb video Misty had sent her, fingertips tracing veins that rose beneath smooth skin. One pass, then a second and her fingers had been trapped suddenly but gently within his. With her undivided attention disrupted, she'd looked up to find that he wasn't even looking at her, his gaze remaining on the book in his lap.

Though she hadn't known why at the time, she didn't move or take her hand back.

From then on, it became more than just recurring stares. She would catch herself noticing things she had always known to be attractive about him... really noticing them. His profile was one to be envied by models and movie stars, especially with a jawline that was sharper than the carved emerald greens that were his eyes. On the occasion that he gave a smile or something like it, she memorized the expression as if it was a rarity. Her hands searched for excuses to touch him, longed to explore what he was like beyond the safe and strong pair of arms that always awaited her. And when she was busy in her world of imaginary what-ifs and "Should I?", he was on a similar mission of his own.

Rough fingertips couldn't keep from brushing flyaway strands that were a result of helmet hair after practice. He constantly looked for that sparkling glint in her eyes, knowing it was there when she laughed at Alfred's dry joke or exchanged a smile with Bruce. It was difficult not to stare when her skin pinkened from embarrassment or merely cold weather. He'd wondered about the kind of paint and brushstrokes it would take to fully capture these things about her; perhaps even hours and hours of effort wouldn't do them justice. His fingers would rather outline her lips, most likely drawing a painfully corny joke or witty remark from between them. But they only hovered near her hands when they brushed in passing — they could hardly even hold each other's gaze without one of them surrendering.

They traded these moments, these little blips in interactions, back and forth as if the last one to be caught would bear a responsibility neither of them wanted.

Because who would willingly sacrifice a flourishing, genuine friendship for the sake of the sheer possibility that they'd be something more?


The first time it happened was on the day he left for Tim's graduation.

"Sorry. I know this is probably the fiftieth time you've had to fix it."

"I don't mind."

"Really? Then maybe I should just have you tie it every morning for the rest of the semester. Bet you'd change your mind real quick but it'd save me so much time."

He didn't look up from the tedious but effortless task of readjusting the sloppy tie around her neck, and although he might've missed the slight, teasing grin on her face, she knew he could hear it in her voice. They were supposed to be heading back to the academy for Jess's afternoon classes after he'd picked her up to spend a short (but worthwhile nonetheless) hour together — Damian and his family were only going to be gone for a few days, but the two of them seemed to share a mutual understanding that they would have a sort of parting get together anyway. And between study sessions with Misty and other schoolmates and hockey practice and games, a lunch period was all she could afford.

But sixty minutes left a lot of room for those thoughts to poke into her mind, the ones that had her side-eyeing her best friend from across the kitchen. (How did someone make a turtleneck look that good?)

"As much as I might chide you about it, I would not oppose that either."

His voice snapped her back to the present; just like twenty minutes ago in the kitchen, she seemed to lack much control when it came to how easily her eyes gravitated to his face and down to his broad shoulders as he stood before her.

As he stood close to her.

Damian was then finishing, "If making your tie every morning meant seeing you, I wouldn't hesitate."

The tenderness in his words reflected in the eyes meeting hers, a featherlight note that dropped a weighty bundle of nerves into the pit of her stomach.

What did he just say?

She had to ask him. She had to.

"At the gala, right before you left me with Jason…" Was Jess's body trembling as much as her voice was? "I… I was wondering what made you do it."

His eyes fell to the tie again as he finished the knot, tightening it around her neck. The closeness of his hands was a pulsating magnet, driving up the teen's heart rate.

"I wanted to," he answered simply.

But why?

Damian took a step towards her... and then another and another, closing the gap between them. It didn't occur to Jess that she was moving backwards until his bedroom wall met her back; it halted her retreat from his advancement and forced her to watch his body close in.

"Do you wish I hadn't?" he asked in a low voice.

Her throat, suddenly tight, didn't want to let her speak.

"N-no..."

In one, seamless motion, Damian bent forward, one hand reaching out to lean his weight against the wall behind her, and — his other hand still grasped Jess's tie — tugged her gently towards him.

"So it pleased you that I did?" he murmured.

Darkened, green eyes flickered and seemed to glue her in place, rendering her body immobile and muscles useless. She couldn't move if she wanted to.

Her "yes" was pure, shaky air — the furthest thing from strength and confidence.

The deep breath she tried to take dissipated the moment his gaze latched onto her mouth. Her heart was racing, thumping, warning the teen like she wasn't already very aware of their proximity. And the intensity in his roaming gaze was more than enough to light a match under her skin. She could feel the heat spreading from her face all the way down her neck and chest.

"Would you like me to do it again?"

It should have been a crime, the way those words slipped from him in a low purr. Even more punishable was how easily his voice sent something like lightning down through her gut. Her galloping heart may as well have been thunder.

Jess managed to nod.

As soon as he released her tie, Jess could only stand in frozen stupor. Rough but gentle fingers swept back the strands framing her face. They weaved gently into her hair while his mouth found her cheekbone, lighting sensations up her spine that were akin to fireworks.

The sensation that followed was a slow burn, a kindling that began in her gut and spread throughout her being — it had her closing her eyes, allowing herself to completely succumb to the moment. Her senses amplified, soaking in the warm, attractive notes of his cologne that she knew so well while his touch hummed at a frequency that seemed to vibrate her bones. To think that it had taken just this one gesture to unravel all of this… It was like he'd lit an entire bonfire between them.

What would happen if one of them added fuel to it?

She was almost afraid to find out, especially when it clearly was not over.

"Like this?" he breathed.

Jess only nodded again, still unable to find her voice when her entire body was running on a fever.

Another kiss, this time lower on her cheek.

"And this?"

Another nod… but now his lips were drawing a fiery trail to the corner of her mouth in a slow, hesitant manner while his fingers fell to her chin.

She could feel him pulling back a little. Opening her eyes, Jess watched his green-eyed gaze search her face. (Was it possible he'd become more attractive than he was before she'd shut them?) A different question was forming in his lips now, she could see it.

And the teen had a very strong feeling she knew what it was.

Sudden voices forced their way into the small bubble that had captured the two of them, breaking the surface of their tension and becoming clear moments later.

"Damian? Jess? It's time to head out," Selina called from somewhere outside the open bedroom door and down the hall.

Damian straightened up just as Bruce chimed in and said his name.

"We'll be down in a moment," he returned, sounding… stiff. Impatient.

Mouth dry and heart still pounding away in her chest, Jess watched him glance down at her with unreadable eyes and then move to grab his coat. She was swiftly overcome with the urge to grab his hand and stop him... but instead shook herself from the trance she had been drowning in and followed the young man out the door.

The entire drive from the manor to the academy was occupied by a bouncing knee, imaginary replays of what had just happened, and waves of nervousness as she sat next to Damian in the car. She'd been lucky to be paying enough attention to answer Bruce's question about her upcoming game over the weekend, though Jess could've sworn she felt green eyes on her as she attempted to sound normal. Electricity was alive all along the left side of her body; it was proving difficult to not sneak a look sideways at him and fight the desire to sway her leg just a little bit in his direction…

Oh, she was definitely in trouble.


"Man, if you don't just go tell him how you feel right now…"

"Misty, it's more complicated than that."

"Is it? You walk up to him, and say you see him as more than a friend. What's so complicated about that?"

To begin explaining why it was complicated… was a complicated thing to do in itself.

Was it so surprising that Damian had been making her feel differently than he had before? She'd always suspected herself of experiencing this longing and this curiosity about what he would be like... as 'more than a friend'. The signs had been there, taunting her — had they been there even before the gala? — and now it pretty much felt like it'd all been confirmed. If the way she'd reacted when he'd cornered her told her anything, it was that she was attracted to him.

Jess was attracted to Damian Wayne, her best friend.

Damian Wayne.

He clearly wanted her, too, right?

How can you even ask that? a voice nagged her in the back of her head.

Of course he was attracted to her. Everything that had happened in the last few weeks said so, and despite the doubt and millions of questions riddling her mind, Jess knew it was true. But she'd always kind of known... The hints had shown up here and there, hidden in things as small as lingering gazes and even the way he said her name. So what was holding her back?

"I don't know," she finally said, an answer that was both to herself and her friend's previous question.

Misty sighed at the other end of the line.

"Okay, I don't know the first thing about these whole 'best friends to lovers' scenarios, but what I do know is that Damian obviously cares a lot about you. Like even before he started showing all these signs, it was always so clear that he just genuinely… gives a shit, you know?"

She did know.

"I hope you don't mind me saying," she continued, "but I feel like he'd be much better to you than Kade was."

Ugh.

The name itself was bringing up sour memories that she worked immediately to squash from her mind.

"Yeah, please don't remind me," Jess mumbled.

Misty sucked in a breath. "Sorry. Too soon?"

With a short laugh, she answered, "No, I mean… You're right. I agree, but it seems a lot scarier when we're already so close. It just feels so weird and new to me, I… What do I do? Do I even do anything at all?"

These were only a few of the questions she'd asked herself time and time again recently.

"I guess that's something you'll just have to figure out. Maybe… just see what happens?"

It wasn't the answer or solution she wanted, but it was one she'd already known nonetheless.

So Jess would take the days as they came, constantly telling herself that she didn't have to necessarily do anything about it until she felt she had to. Whenever and whatever that would be, she'd deal with it... and hopefully not screw it up.


"You must be Jess."

The unfamiliar voice belonged to a pair of sky blue eyes — Central City's sky, not so much Gotham's dreary gray — and dark locks that fell past his ears. The smile he wore was friendly and cordial but didn't do much to ease the words lodged in Jess's throat.

It was only partially his fault that she was caught off-guard and her brain had quit functioning. Not even the few family photos scattered around the manor had prepared her for what Timothy Drake looked like in real life and up-close. He didn't appear so "charming boy next door" like Dick nor did he possess any of Jason's bad-boy ruggedness; Damian still outdid everyone else in his constant seriousness and broody eyes. This young man was probably the kind of guy Jess would catch leaving the library or grocery store and just briefly, silently admire how handsome he was. She'd assume that maybe he was in med school and a steady relationship, or maybe he was too invested in his studies to be committed to anything (or anyone) else. Maybe he'd knock on her door as a solicitor or nag her as an overly ambitious car salesman, but the only thing she did know about Bruce's second-youngest was that he was an Ivy League graduate… and despite the possibility he could've been any of these other roles, Jess probably would have reacted the exact same way.

His hair looks softer than mine.

"And you must be Dra—uh, Tim."

Whether he caught her slip up in nearly calling him Drake (she blamed Damian) and chose to overlook it or didn't notice at all, she wasn't sure.

"It's good to finally meet you," Tim told her as he approached where she stood in the library.

"You, too. Um, sorry, I didn't realize you were already here."

She'd known he was flying in today but figured Damian would have told her that his brother had arrived.

He smiled again. "I think Damian is scouting the manor right now for you, actually."

Jess tried to ignore the shyness butting its way into her mind, watching him stop beside her and scan the shelves she'd been browsing. He was taller than her but not quite the same height as Damian. Built similarly though, from what she could gather beneath his simple sweater and jeans. Geez, do all the Wayne men have a fondness for bodybuilding and exercise?

"Looking to learn Arabic?"

Tim laid his sky blue gaze on the thin paperback in her grip.

"Erm, kind of?" Jess gave a nervous laugh while gesturing with the publication. "Damian seems to curse a lot in it, and, well, I dunno, I just got curious. Being on break from school will do that to you, I guess. I've had a hard enough time with French in the past…"

"He doesn't tell you the translations of what he says?"

"Oh, he does. I just wanted to see what the rest of the language is like… you know, beyond the cursing."

"Word of advice?"

She waited, and he took it as permission to continue.

Tim shrugged and said, "Textbooks are a good, traditional way of learning a new language, but doing it firsthand can be really helpful, too, like actually engaging in conversation. It's even better when it's with someone who speaks it fluently.

"They say immersion learning is more effective because you're forced to learn… but that might be a little too intensive if you're only interested in the basics."

"I'm sure it would be really fun hearing Dami speak in one-hundred-percent Arabic, but I would just stand there like an idiot and then he'd lose his patience," Jess responded with a light laugh.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. He was usually pretty patient with her when he helped her with homework.

"We all have to get there somehow."

"Do you know any of it?"

"Arabic? Some," Tim replied with another amiable smile. "I've picked up some swears and other really 'high etiquette' phrases from Damian as well."

The laughs they shared were followed by a temporary silence that had Jess shifting awkwardly where she stood. But Tim soon excused himself, saying she should find Damian and also meet Stephanie and Cassandra. An agreeable "Okay" was all she could give in return, still weirdly mystified by their meeting. Damian happened to be walking by in the hallway by the time she decided to reshelve the translation book, his emerald eyes brightening upon seeing her.

He asked what she'd been doing, and her response had him raising his brows.

"Ah, well, I suppose I don't need to introduce you to him then. But Stephanie and Cassandra are downstairs, waiting for us."

"Oh, okay. Let's go say hi."

It wasn't until they were reaching the stairs that Damian suddenly inquired, "What were you looking for in the library?"

"Nothing, really, just something to read."

"Your first choice was English-Arabic Translation?"

He almost smirked at the way Jess stopped in her tracks and stared at him. Well, clearly he'd caught the cover before she put the book away.

"It's not exactly light reading," Damian mused while facing her and crossing his arms. The glimmer in his eye made her face flush with warmth.

He was having that effect on her a lot lately.

This time around, Jess would turn the tables (hopefully) by adopting the confidence he flaunted so easily. He had so much of it, she was bound to learn and absorb it in some way, right?

"If that's the case, then teach me."

Damian arched a brow. "You want to learn Arabic," he said slowly.

She managed one step closer to him… and desperately hoped he couldn't tell that she was sweating.

"Maybe I just want an excuse to hear you say inappropriate things without anyone knowing."

Before the courage was driven out by her nerves, Jess gave an innocent shrug and smile, then proceeded to practically skip down the stairs. It was a miracle she didn't trip and that her pounding heart didn't explode.

The stunned look on his attractive, sharp features was only one reason for her to grin to herself all the way to the living room. How often did she ever manage to get one over him like that? It felt good to witness if she was being honest; the unexpected adrenaline soared through her veins in a high that was nothing like what she felt during games and competitions. This was entirely different… and she wasn't sure she could complain.


Truthfully, meeting the rest of Damian's family was a little stressful and even intimidating.

She'd never really known what it was like having a relatively large family growing up, not when neither of her parents had many siblings and those siblings didn't have children. Holidays, birthdays, and other events that usually involved big gatherings had been small for the most part growing up; it was from her early childhood years that she could vaguely remember any of her grandparents and mother's brothers. Time had taken them away but soon enough that having a small family was all she really knew and had grown used to.

Perhaps that was why there was something about becoming friends with Damian that had also brought her a sense of home she hadn't felt in a long time. In the time they'd gotten to know each other and grow close, Jess had eventually started to feel like she belonged under his roof, too. Bruce's generosity and Alfred's hospitality were most definitely part of it, but there was just something so welcoming and inviting about Damian and his family. Outside of her dorm, the manor was her second home — no, it was her home. The dorm was just the place where her belongings happened to be and she slept.

It used to amaze her that not a single person blinked at an eye at how often she was with Damian let alone at the manor. Of course, by now Bruce, Selina, and Alfred must be used to seeing her as if she lived there herself. And now that school was out and she'd already spent a few days at Misty's, the entire family was apparently alright with Jess joining them for the holidays.

"They want you to be here, Jessica," Damian had reassured her after breaking the news. "They're all excited to meet you, and you can stay however long you want until next term starts."

"I just don't want to intrude on family time—"

"How can you intrude if you are also part of the family?"

He'd looked her firmly in the eye with an earnestness that pierced right through her doubt. Hell, Jess would have cried right then and there if they hadn't been in public, standing in the middle of the mall for last minute gift shopping.

So Jess met every one of them that came: Kori, Mar'i, Tim, Steph, Cass, Barbara. Even Jason had stopped by at one point, though neither he nor Barbara were staying at the manor. The hallways saw more traction than they had in the last several months, and leftovers disappeared quicker than ever before from the fridge. Though she might have been a little wary and nervous in the beginning, Jess soon acclimated to the livelier manor climate and experienced what it was like to be part of a family larger than she'd ever had. Someone was always talking to her, sharing a joke, or teasing her about being friends with Damian. Someone else had to chase Neo down when he stole their belongings.

"Honestly, I already liked you before I even got here just based on the fact that Damian likes you enough to keep you around," Stephanie had confessed upon their first meeting.

It'd been a compliment Jess never anticipated but accepted anyway.

She soon realized Cass was the kind of person who made it easy to just be around for company, even if it came with silence. Her presence offered a nice contrast to the way the men (and Steph sometimes) seemed to rag on each other all the time, bickering and acting the way Jess assumed siblings would. Barbara, on the other hand, didn't stick around for long the one time she had visited, but she'd been nice while introducing herself to Jess. All Damian had told her beforehand was that she was an old friend of Dick and Bruce.

Mar'i might've been younger than her, but it was nice having another teenager to hang with. Making fun of her father with her made it even better.

Dick had rolled his eyes among their snickers and groaned, "If I'd known you two would be banding together against me, I would've left you at home."

The joke had earned a swat on the arm from Kori (whose beauty and kindness were just unfathomable to Jess).

At the same time, Jess wondered what Tim coming home would do for Damian. He was back for good, apparently, having finished his studies and planning to take up a high-level position with Bruce at Wayne Enterprises. Damian hadn't gone into much detail, but it sounded like he didn't have a problem with having his brother return and be around. He'd been somewhat alone — "I'm hardly 'alone'," he also had denied in that very Damian Wayne kind of way — in the last few years, so Jess only hoped there was some room for reconnection when they hadn't really kept in touch.

It seemed like things were going somewhat well for him and Jason anyway.

"Is this turning out to be what you'd hoped?"

Damian glanced up from where he leaned against the wall in the living room. Jess had stopped at his shoulder, joining him in watching Tim and Jason staring intently at the large television with their thumbs mashing away at the controllers.

"What I hoped for and expected are two different things," he answered in a low voice.

She hadn't been around when Jason first showed up to greet everyone who was visiting, but the teen didn't hesitate in asking Damian how that had gone. This was basically a family homecoming after all; it'd been years since they were all in one place like this together. And considering everything that had happened between those two since then, it was probably reasonable to half-expect things might be awkward or weird, maybe even tense. So far, everyone seemed to have welcomed Jason with open arms. Playing video games with him didn't exactly scream "I don't want you here."

"I've seen better reunions," Damian had told her the other day, "but I've also seen worse."

So that sounded good… right?

"So which one is this?" Jess asked while gesturing discreetly to the scene.

It took a few moments of contemplation from her best friend, whose eyes seemed to absorb the presence of his family. Damian then turned to her with a benign sort of look in his gaze.

"With you here, it is more than I wanted."

In the background, the men were groaning and griping about their game, but Jess was too busy attempting to process what Damian had said to see what was going on. He really needed to stop saying stuff out-of-the-blue like that…

But not really. Because she liked how it made her feel.

"I nominate Jess."

The mention of her name finally had her realizing everyone's eyes were on her. According to the TV, Jason had just lost badly to Tim; the older man wore a clear look of disappointment as he reached for his bottle of beer like he wanted to drink the loss away.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm just watching on the sidelines," the teen grinned sheepishly and held her hands up.

"Someone has to kick him off his win-streak," Dick insisted.

Jason nodded in agreement. "And because you're new here, it only makes sense to have you play. Consider it an initiation."

They were all looking at her expectantly; Tim, in particular, was grinning smugly from where he sat with the controller.

Dick raised his brows. "Come on, where's your sense of competition? Where's that girl I saw that beat Damian at the arcade last summer?"

"Oh, I bet he loved that," Steph whistled from the corner. Beside her, Cassandra was smiling at the banter.

Jess glanced out the window where nightfall was approaching and light snowflakes drifted past the glass.

She met Tim's eyes and proposed, "Loser gets thrown into the snow. No jacket, gloves, nothing. Just the clothes on your back."

His sky blue eyes seemed to flash like the animations on the screen.

"Deal."

The others tittered and reacted in interest, Tim balancing the controller on his knee to crack his knuckles. Damian's emerald greens burned with entertainment as he watched her take Jason's place on the couch.

That same twinkle only intensified minutes later as he stood with her by the snow-covered lawn. Jess's oversized hoodie and sweats provided little warmth and protection against the snowfall — briefly, she cursed herself for the lapse in judgment. If she'd known Tim played that video game like a pro…

Well, no wonder he'd been on a winning streak.

Behind Damian, the others were gathered as a sort of watch party. Dick and Steph were bantering over something while Jason, Mar'i, and Tim huddled in the biting cold. None of them had put on a jacket, expecting the sight to be a quick little adventure so they could run back inside afterwards. Jess was pretty certain the others, including Alfred, Bruce, and Selina were somewhere beyond the front door or in the windows, wondering what the hell they were all doing.

"We don't have all night," Jason called, earning a mock glare from her. "I'm freezing my balls off out here."

"Oh, relax, you big wuss. You're not the one who's about to get tossed into a bunch of snow," Steph chided.

"Are you ready?" Damian asked.

Jess's eyes widened. "Uh, no, I—"

Too late. His hands were on the teen, lifting and tossing her like she weighed nothing into the fresh, untouched pile of freezing snow that awaited her. Oh, shit, it was so cold

She could barely make out the whoops and cheers through the shocking frigidity soaking through her clothes and into her socks. Gasping in mild panic and then growling a string of curses, Jess pushed herself up to the top of the cavity her body had created and nearly fell right over and back into the white hell. The snow was already melting right through the material to her skin despite her hurried efforts to brush it off. Nearby, Damian was grinning impishly at her.

"A hand, please?" she pretended to demand and extended an arm while trying to carefully trek back to flat ground.

The moment his hand grabbed hers, she pulled as hard as she could.

The motion had him practically stumbling on top of her — they both toppled over into the snow, but the look on his face was well worth it. Jess couldn't help the maniacal laugh that escaped her as she scrambled her way out of the snowbank and took off. She made it behind Dick right as the incoming projectile hit the older man's chest, scoring a "Hey, what the hell?!" from him.

Still using him as cover, Jess hurled a snowball back, completely off-the-mark from Damian's snow-clad figure. Although her body was icy and numb all over, the sudden rush of adrenaline was hard to ignore.

"Huh. For a hockey player, your aim sucks."

Her next fistful of snow connected with Jason's face, and Steph burst into laughter at his appalled expression.

And so the Wayne family snowball fight began.


If there was any evidence that Jessica Fairchild was not invariably graceful and elegant in everyday life as she could be on ice, it was how easily she tripped over her own feet or, such as this Christmas morning, the way she woke up.

Damian hadn't seen more than a few times what Jess looked like when she awoke, but there was a perfectly good explanation for why her appearance was especially endearing. Half the comforter hung off the bed and all the pillows, with the exception of the one she currently laid on, were scattered about. She appeared peaceful despite the destruction her sleep behavior had created, a disaster he'd witnessed firsthand that night she had asked to not be alone. At the time, he hadn't been able to find it in his heart to poke fun at her for it the next morning.

He shook Jess's shoulder and said her name for what must have been the fourth or fifth time now. He was rewarded with a shifting of her leg from beneath the sheets — moments later, one eye opened, followed by the teen burying her face into the pillow.

"Jessica. It's almost nine-thirty."

Jess gave a muffled groan before lifting her head to glare at him and pushing her hair back. "You're waking me up at nine-thirty on Christmas morning?" she complained, voice thick with sleep.

From where he sat on the edge of the bed, Damian simply raised a brow. "We agreed on exchanging our presents before my family does."

"Yeah, but…"

She fell over onto her back, closing her eyes for a few seconds before eying him. "Ugh. Fine. Only because it's Christmas and only for you."

He couldn't help the sly smile tugging at his mouth.

"Just let me change and, you know, not look like I literally rolled out of bed."

The teen was bleary-eyed with an indent from the sheets across her face. Damian ached to touch the cheeks that were slightly reddened from how warm she must have been in her sleep.

"I think you look just fine," he told her as he stood and watched her stumble clumsily onto her feet. "Better than fine, actually."

The color intensified in Jess's features as she paused and looked up at him, her tired, hazel eyes now widened in awe. Hmph. I thought so. There was no denying it — he adored having such an effect on her… and truth be told, this was one part simply because he enjoyed teasing her and two parts payback for what she'd said to him the other day.

"Maybe I just want an excuse to hear you say inappropriate things without anyone knowing."

When and from where had she suddenly gained a flair for such suggestive behavior?

That innocent smile following her risqué assertion had been anything but. The deep craving in his chest had certainly said otherwise, and there had been nothing virtuous about the fictional scenarios that played in his head afterwards. How quickly would the blood rush to her face if she knew?

She—No, they were playing a dangerous game… and Damian was going all in.

Damian moved towards the door before pausing to look back. Jess was combing her fingers through her hair, avoiding eye contact.

He then added, "Though I will agree that this is not one of your best looks."

Quick reflexes saved him from taking a pillow to the head.

Some time later, Jess was more presentable but a sight for sore eyes despite her outfit. She'd donned the onesie Stephanie had given her after forcibly demanding earlier in the week that the entire family wear festive gear on Christmas Day. The printed face of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dotted the material on Jess whereas Damian wore a simple pair of pajama bottoms with printed Christmas trees and a t-shirt. (This entire aesthetic suited Jess far more than it did him, but for the sake of tradition and holiday spirit — and avoiding Stephanie's wrath — he was joining in.)

They both sat on the end of his bed, wrapped gifts between them and Neo watching them from the corner. Jess's hair was neatly brushed, and her mouth was pinker from whatever lip product she'd applied.

Damian vaguely wondered what it would taste like.

"Heads or tails to open first?"

She held up the quarter and raised a brow at him.

"Tails."

"Aha," she exclaimed while showing him the result of her flip and shifting to face him better. "You first."

His first guess upon unwrapping the smaller gift was correct. It was what appeared to be a small deck of cards, though the cards were thick pieces of paper with Jess's handwriting and doodles scrawled all over them. One read "Get me food," and another was "Take me to a movie."

"Here, you have to read this," she prompted him, removing the folded piece of paper that had been wedged into the box.

Starting the day after Christmas (today) until Christmas Eve next year, you're free to use one of these cards whenever you want and however you see fit :) The only rules that apply are that you can use one card a day, you can't use it to double-dip (if I already got you food, you can't use a card to make me do it again), and they don't apply on occasions when you'd already get special treatment, like your birthday.

"My parents actually used to do this with me when I was a kid," Jess explained as she gestured towards the cards he was sorting through and reading. "Mom was inspired by Monopoly. Every year, one of my presents was a stack of these handmade cards or coupons, whatever you want to call them."

"There are three of each card."

"Well yeah, gotta have enough to last you a year. Actually, there's only one of this guy…"

Her fingers brushed against his as she took the deck from him and found the card she was looking for. It was blank.

"This is a freebie. If there's something you want that isn't already one of the cards, you write it on here. And it has to be within reason, of course," she told him with a pointed look. "I used to write a 'get out of jail free' card when my parents would get upset at me for, say, not getting my homework done on time or ask to skip a day of school when I just didn't feel like going."

Damian tried to imagine what sort of things would ever warrant the use of such a card, but he soon found that that was a hole of possibilities he did not want to explore at the moment. So he continued sorting through the deck, genuinely taken aback at the creativity behind the gift. The idea of using them to earn favors from her was most certainly intriguing and sure to invite entertaining opportunities. He could already see the eye-roll she'd give him when presented with a "Make me breakfast" card, considering he was an early bird compared to her.

The second, flat box was a brand new scrapbook with several pictures they'd taken tucked into the blank pages. Jess quickly clarified that she'd found it in her old belongings and hadn't broken their agreement about not spending a dime.

She pointed to the printed photo of her and Neo that he'd taken a few weeks ago. Between the two of them, Jess was much better at learning not to take herself seriously all the time, finding humor in the simplest things (usually in her own actions). The entertained twinkle in her eyes had never left the entire time she wore that hoodie backwards with the cat cradled in the hood as if he were an infant. She'd been so amused with herself, proud of her ingenuity that Damian wondered how much of his smile had been because of the silliness of it all or purely her innocent joy.

He absolutely could not complain about seeing her happy if not about even the most childish and absurd things.

"I was considering putting these in myself but decided you're more talented and creative than I am."

"What if we do it together?"

She nodded and smiled, a sight that pulled at his heart. "Okay, sure. But you have all creative control."

"Did you already have this in mind when you said you didn't want either of us spending money on our gifts?"

Jess shrugged.

"Kind of. I mean, as for the cards, I wanted to find a way to repay you for everything you've done for me without, you know, literally paying you like we agreed, so I figured favors like getting you food or doing your laundry could add up."

He couldn't help offering her a sly smile.

"It's ingenious. Perhaps even more so than my gift to you."

"Wait, really?"

"Mm. It's a close second."

A few minutes later, Jess was gazing down at a light blue item laid flat in its box. At first glance, it was a long, skinny watch, about a half-inch wide, with a sleek, thin watch face. Damian instructed her to pick it up and proceeded to pull back his sleeve, revealing the same band around his wrist in black.

He tapped the watch face twice, initiating two vibrating buzzes that mimicked his touch. The band in Jess's hand vibrated moments later in the exact same pattern.

Her mouth fell open.

"No way," she enthused, turning it over to examine it. "These are those bands I've seen online…"

"A… talented friend of mine made them. Consider them prototypes."

Intrigued, hazel eyes looked up at him. "Do I even want to know what you had to do to get these from your friend?"

You don't want to know anything about it.

He had to hope she wouldn't ask too many questions, even if he had prepared for them. One didn't have to be a detective of any sort to be curious about a brandless, high-tech product made by an equally nameless "friend". Whether he decided to make up names and stories, all the former assassin had to do was fabricate something believable enough that was loosely based on truths. Something about friends in high places with engineering talent and owing him favors.

Damian explained, "They do the same thing as the ones you speak of, but these are entirely unique and much better quality. The technology is much more advanced than commercial options — they receive signals faster and with better coverage. The ones you've seen online lack reliability and can take up to a minute to exchange the vibrations while these are meant to be immediate."

"So, like sending texts?" Jess said, running her fingers over the band.

"Precisely. In fact, I find such devices to be redundant when texting and cell phones do exist, but nonetheless, I'm hoping you'll find comfort in wearing this."

Her knitted brows gave away her confusion.

"I had been thinking about the day you called when you were at school in Central City, other times you needed me—" his voice was as slow and delicate as the fingers that gently wrapped the band around her wrist and closed it, "—so from now on, when you find yourself in a stressful moment, a predicament, or simply need to hear from me for any reason…"

Damian touched his wristband again, once short, once long. He couldn't see or hear it, yet he knew she felt the mimicked vibrations. Bzz bzzzz.

"You will."

She stared down at the band for so long he wondered for a brief, harrowing moment if he'd done something wrong.

But then Jess reached up to her face with one hand — her fingers came away with wetness that had his chest twisting with something that tasted more bitter than it did sweet. She didn't bother attempting to hide it either; her eyes were shining with tears when she lifted her head.

"What's your secret?" the teen sniffled.

"What do you mean?"

Jess lifted her wrist bearing the band with a timid smile. "What's your secret to being the world's best gift-giver?"

Perhaps if she hadn't been crying, she might have caught the exhale of relief he gave.

Yet he didn't answer her, knowing the question was rhetorical and that she needed a few more moments to gather herself. He hadn't quite expected this reaction, but did he ever?

Damian took in the way she tucked her hair behind her ear and rubbed at her reddened nose. He wished he could draw the thoughtfulness in her glistening gaze as she continued staring at the band. There was an itch in his hands at the sight of another tear slipping down her pink cheek.

His body acted before he could control it.

Jess turned her eyes up at him the moment he wiped it from her skin, but she did not shy away. She was leaning into the gesture instead, reaching up to grasp his wrist and sparking a flame beneath her touch... It matched the warmth expanding in his ribs. Damian was unsure how it happened — an irresistible gravity, perhaps — but soon their foreheads were pressed together, tears caught between his palm and her face.

Seconds may have passed, even minutes, of them sitting like this only to be interrupted when he moved to press his lips to the top of her cheekbone. It felt like a gesture that was nothing if not natural by now.

"Everything you asked for is in that bin."

He made quick work of scanning all the items in said storage, checking off the boxes in his mental inventory and list.

"Thank you, Tim."

If his plan was thorough and he hadn't missed anything, Jess's gift would be exactly what he needed it to be.

"Look, Damian," Tim began from where he stood, "I know it's not my place—"

"You're right. It's not."

Crystal blue eyes were soft but unwavering against the hardened emeralds from across the room. The sound of Damian's footsteps as he moved to leave was interrupted by his brother speaking once again.

"You don't have to do this, you know."

The older Robin gestured towards the bin in the younger man's hands. "These kinds of things, I mean. I know you didn't tell me what exactly you're building, but I've got a pretty good guess.

"And considering she still doesn't know… I understand you want to prevent what happened with—"

Heat flashed beneath Damian's skin, and tension stiffened his shoulders as he turned around with narrowed eyes.

"If I wanted your opinion, I would have made that clear when I approached you," he snapped.

Timothy Drake did not get to waltz back into Gotham, back under the roof of Wayne Manor, and criticize and question his actions. His predecessor might have been intelligent enough to deduce the true purpose of these materials and its connection to Jess, but Damian did not owe him any sort of explanation.

Indeed, this very conversation raised a thought he could never shake: Why, when Damian did ask for help, was it always followed by tiresome questions and so much doubt?

An inevitable side effect of the detective mentality, perhaps?

Tim remained silent, prompting the former assassin to add briskly, "Thank you for your assistance."

And then he was gone.


"Are you aware of what Damian is doing?"

Both Bruce and Dick glanced up from the computer monitors to see Tim standing behind them, arms crossed. The look on his face was almost of paternal concern, like he was a serious high school principal who'd called the parents in or the neighbor across the street who failed to mind their business.

"No?" Dick answered, exchanging a glance with Bruce. "Probably patrol soon, right?"

"No, that's not…"

The recent college grad shook his head and took a few steps towards them.

"Did he tell either of you what her Christmas present was? You've seen the bracelet she's been wearing lately?"

Bruce was frowning in thought from where he sat in his desk chair. "I've seen it, yes, but—"

"He talked to me after graduation," Tim cut in, a slight urgency filling his words. "He asked about a couple old patents from Wayne Electronics, fluoroelastomer, cell tower coverage and signal maps…"

Dick furrowed his brows as he mulled over what his younger brother was saying. Old patents, fluoroelastomer (a higher quality substitute for silicone, which was in, well, a lot of things), and cell towers? What the hell would Damian want with—?

Bruce arrived at the conclusion much more quickly.

"That's no ordinary bracelet she's wearing," he said, looking over at Tim who nodded.

"It's basically an advanced hybrid of those friendship bracelets, the ones that send vibrations back and forth, and the best smartwatches on the market. Works pretty much anywhere in the world with cellular coverage, and if not that, then satellites… You know, if she's ever climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or something.

"The response time is a fraction of what those commercial companies can manage — as quickly as a text message. It also connects to both their phones... but her bracelet in particular is always trackable even if her phone is off or dead."

The hesitation in Tim's figure had Dick realizing there was more. And he knew where this was going.

"And, of course, the bracelet monitors all her vitals: heart and respiratory rate, blood pressure, body temperature. If she so much as watches a scary movie or gets a fever, he'll know — and she won't."

He added with a shrug, "If I'd known right away that he intended it for her, I would've said no."

The silence in the room had him shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he confirmed, "I… helped him."

Dick balked. "You didn't figure—?"

"I thought it was strange, yeah," Tim sighed, "but I told myself it was none of my business and I'd think nothing of it. Part of me assumed it had something to do with her even though he didn't actually explain what he needed it for…"

Despite not being surprised one bit, Dick knew this was a step above what the younger Wayne had been doing last time he'd visited over the summer. He could still recall that distinct determination in his serious green eyes as he'd sat at this very computer, bent on discovering Jess's whereabouts the previous night without regard for things like privacy and trust and friendship.

Now his baby brother was exploiting Wayne technology and his own brother's knowledge — even Jess's trust — for what exactly? To help him sleep better at night?

Tim cleared his throat. "I think he's still… Maybe this is what he feels like he has to do after… you know."

"I can't say this is surprising, but it's also not the first time he's displayed this kind of behavior," Bruce was saying as he split a glance between the other two.

"So… then what? I'm guessing the comms for the bracelets are based out of here," Tim mused, glancing pointedly at the computer, "but depending on how exhaustive he was in his method, I wouldn't put it past him to use the League's satellite."

"Are you suggesting sabotaging what he's doing?" Dick asked, skepticism in his voice.

Tim threw his hands up. "I don't know. Unless you can talk him out of it? What do you suggest?"

He and Bruce were looking at him now. The former Robin raised his brows, suddenly feeling put on the spot. "Really? Do I always have to be designated to talk to him? You're his father, last I checked."

The older Wayne sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He appeared tired, and truthfully, Dick couldn't blame him.

"I imagine he won't appreciate anyone confronting him—" Bruce began.

"Definitely not," Tim muttered.

"—but at this point, I think it's best to let him figure this out on his own."

"Yeah, I have to agree with B on this one."

Dick caught the questioning look on Tim's face and gave an exhausted shrug. "Tim, there's only so much we can do. He's a grown adult and… as much as I don't want him or Jess to get hurt, he does have to face whatever consequences follow."

"If he is using League resources, then I can try and iron that out," Bruce said. "Beyond that…"

He didn't have to finish his sentence for the other two men to understand.

Of course Dick wanted to help Damian. If he could have it his way, if things would work out perfectly, he'd march right up into that manor and tell his little brother that he was an idiot and needed to quit before things got out of hand. He would tell the young man that he wanted him to be happy (not so paranoid and stubborn), to fall in love and have a life with someone who always had his attention whenever she was in the room. Damian would reveal his secrets, Jess wouldn't walk away, and they'd get their happy ever after.

Except things rarely ever worked out that way.

A sudden noise had the three of them whipping their heads simultaneously in one direction. Impeccable timing, Dick thought as the former assassin made his way down the stairs. At the bottom, he paused and ran a steady, green-eyed gaze over them.

"No need to discontinue the conversation for my sake," Damian deadpanned.

As he crossed the cave to the display cases, the three men shifted in their positions and Dick vaguely wondered if that had been suspicion in his brother's eyes.

"Would either of you care to join us tonight?" Bruce then asked, his tone casual in contrast to the previous solemn atmosphere.

Tim shook his head. "I think I'll be on the bench for a little longer."

Dick offered his company, making a lighthearted note about needing to keep in shape, before getting up to fall into step beside Tim. They'd made it to the bottom of the stairs when the younger man spoke up, his voice too quiet to be carried to either Bruce or Damian.

"I had no idea what I was coming home to… but I guess that's what happens when you're gone for two years."

The former Robin reached out to clasp his shoulder. "Do any of us ever really know when we're away for some time?"

Tim's gaze fell to the ground, though the corner of his mouth was also lifting in a half-earnest smile. Wordlessly, he went on up the stairs and back into the manor.

'Normalcy' was never the same for people like them. It always changed, even in the smallest ways, and often in manners that hardly ever worked in their favor. The last few years probably encompassed some of the biggest, most dramatic turmoil their family had ever endured in the last decade, and Damian just happened to be one of the ones who'd been hit the hardest. That wasn't to say Tim hadn't carried his share of the weight, but Dick could understand why he might have been feeling blindsided. Going off to college and taking a break from the hero/vigilante lifestyle for just a few years had distanced him enough that he was almost at a loss coming back to his previous life. Dick himself could be in that same boat if it weren't for his efforts to visit every now and then and keep in touch with the people he cared about.

He watched as Damian reappeared, fully dressed in his gear. There was a sudden pang in his chest, a reminder that his youngest brother was inadvertently punishing himself and Jess for something that had nearly broken him. Paranoia, breaking boundaries, hiding all these secrets… they were all signs that the kid was trying to heal — all the while drowning himself in an obsession that might do exactly what he'd been fighting so hard to prevent.

Dick hated seeing it.

"So how do you manage patrol when she stays the night?"

The twenty-year-old didn't look up from where he was efficiently twirling his katana back and forth in the air as if it was helping him think.

"Unlike everyone else, Jessica has the luxury of sleeping without having one eye open," he answered. "That, and she would sleep through a thunderstorm."

"Speaking of storms, a blizzard is in tonight's forecast," Bruce, without his headgear to complete his Batman guise, chimed in.

"Oh, fun!" Dick enthused. "You up for a race, Little D? Fifteen in one hour?"

Despite the mask, he knew his little brother's green eyes were sparking with amusement. "You think the weather will be on your side, Grayson? Blizzard or not, it's highly unlikely you'll beat my record."

"That's some big talk from the guy who's apparently forgotten who holds the record for the entire shift."

"You're out of your prime. I'll take my chances."

"Ouch."


Note: well, clearly we took a break from the dramatic action piece and dove right into some spicier and fluffier stuff lol. Not gonna lie, i have so many more DamiJess ~moments~ in my drafts and it was really hard not just dumping them all into this update xD

Man, I'm relieved to finally have Tim in the picture and get started on his role in the story. And don't worry, i'm working on squeezing in more screen time for the other members of the family while they're around :) At the same time we are approaching Jess discovering Damian's identity but, as we've seen in these 37 chapters, it'll be a bumpy road there lol.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for your lovely reviews! Despite everything, i hope your year is starting off well and that this fic is providing you a nice escape like it is for me