A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Square Mom Lover, Anonymous 99, Idle-ing, Princess Hinashi, Krach, The You of Yesterday, Ojay1307, and AstronautGirl. Thank you all so much for reviewing! You're all amazing! :D
And thank you to all of my new followers/favorites!
Tsunade strode through the open gate of Donguri, startling the sleepy gatekeepers, and halted on the main street. She scanned the squat buildings, hardly more the dark silhouettes at this nighttime hour. Only one thing mattered to her: finding Kakashi. And if anything—or anyone—dared to get in her way...
Quick footsteps approached her from behind. "Stop! You can't enter the village without permission!"
Tsunade spun on her heel. The two gatekeepers hurried toward her, scowling in irritation, likely from having their naps interrupted. She took two steps to meet them and dealt each a hard thump in the center of their foreheads. They flew backward with a cry, their momentum abruptly stopped by the sturdy wall of the gatehouse. Both crashed to the ground, expressions dazed and slightly cross-eyed.
Another man emerged from the gatehouse—how many watchmen did a tiny village need?—his eyes widening at the sight of his fellows groaning on the ground. He looked at Tsunade, and recognition dawned on his face as he took in her Konoha jōnin uniform. "What—"
"Official shinobi business. Don't interfere." Tsunade turned away—and stiffened. A surge of chakra was coming from the north. Kakashi. It had to be. She leaped to nearest rooftop, heart thudding. Kakashi was careful and meticulous. Something had to have happened to force him to release so much chakra. But what? She shook off her fears, using her adrenaline to move faster. If she arrived too late, she would never forgive herself.
Tsunade landed on a rooftop above the commotion, and took in the agitated crowd in a glance. Whatever they were doing, she wasn't here for them. She continued her search for silver hair—wait. Tsunade stared disbelievingly at the bushy white head emerging from the house the crowd had surrounded.
What on earth was Jiraiya doing here?
At the appearance of her old teammate, several in the crowd shifted, and Tsunade tensed at the gleam of unsheathed weapons. Clearly, she'd misread the situation. She sank into a crouch and studied those gathered more carefully. There were definitely several shinobi present. In fact... almost all of them were shinobi. A cold knot tightened her stomach. Were they after Jiraiya?
"Surrender, Jiraiya of the Sannin!" one of the shinobi near the front shouted. "Or you'll never see your daughter again!"
Tsunade blinked, certain her brain had short-circuited. Did he say... daughter?
Jiraiya was unmoved. "I am Jiraiya the Gallant," he bellowed, "and if you don't surrender, I'll be forced to take you all out! If you value your lives, I suggest doing so quickly!" He lifted his hand, as if preparation for a one-handed jutsu.
The idiot was going to get himself killed.
"Get back! Prepare your jutsus!" The shinobi at the front stepped forward, hands flashing in a familiar jutsu.
Tsunade cursed, and launched herself into the air. She formed her own signs at lightning speed. "Earth release! Mud wall!" A barrier rose in front of Jiraiya, and Tsunade landed next to him as the shinobi's fireball scorched the protective wall.
Jiraiya gaped at her. "T-Tsunade?" His features sagged with overwhelming relief, but he immediately disguised it by looking her up and down. "I haven't seen you in uniform in a while. You look good."
"Enough!" Tsunade glared at him. Leave it to Jiraiya to act flippant as a mob of rogue shinobi surrounded him, wanting blood. "What is going on here?" She was tempted to ask if she'd heard correctly about a daughter, of all things, but now wasn't really the time. She'd interrogate him after she saved his skin.
Jiraiya jabbed his thumb at the earthen wall. "They want to kill me. I assume you have a plan to save us?"
Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Of course I have a plan. I haven't survived three wars and two invasions to go down now. Besides, I have a new jutsu I want to try out." She slammed her fist into the wall, and it exploded behind her as she kept her gaze on Jiraiya. "Stay here. I'll handle this."
Tsunade drew three kunai in each hand and stepped through the rubble of the wall. A handful of shuriken flew at her, so she tipped her head to the side to let the stars whistle past her ear. The attacks stopped abruptly. Shocked murmurs rippled through the gathered shinobi, and several stepped back. One cried, "It's the Godaime!"
Tsunade took advantage of the confusion to fling her kunai, three to each side. As expected, the shinobi dodged them easily, and each one thudded into the cold earth just outside the edge of gathered shinobi.
A large, bald shinobi on the far left snarled. "Attack! She can't take down all of us!"
Behind her, Jiraiya snorted. "You fools didn't see her in the Second War." He added mildly, "Try not to destroy the town. I'm rather fond of it."
"Shut up, Jiraiya. I'm the one saving your sorry hide." Tsunade took two steps forward and planted her feet. Two of the shinobi charged her, but she'd already finished the signs. "Lightning release! Binding cage!"
A bolt of lightning blasted down from the sky, and split over the shinobis' heads to connect to the metal of the six kunai. Tendrils of electricity reached out horizontally, latching to the six bolts anchored to the kunai, creating a cage of lightning around the shinobi. Those closest to the barrier backed away, eyes wide and faces pale.
Jiraiya pushed to his feet with a grunt. "Nice."
"I'm not done," Tsunade retorted, focused on keeping her chakra on a tight rein. This jutsu required a lot of chakra, and she didn't want to use a drop more than necessary. She formed the signs for the second part of the jutsu. "Full Body Paralysis!"
A pulse of electricity blasted out from her side of the cage and passed through the shinobi to the other side, vanishing once it touched the bars of lightning. As one, the shinobi collapsed, landing on each other with cries and groans.
Tsunade held up her first two forefingers, releasing the jutsu. The cage of lightning disappeared, leaving behind a burnt smell and a pile of immobile shinobi. She propped her hands on her hips, slightly out of breath, but satisfied. "They should be paralyzed for the next two hours at least."
"Tsunade."
She turned, half-expecting a show of undying gratitude. But Jiraiya stood in the pile of rubble, his hand braced against a boulder and his gaze shifting anywhere except hers. "I know you're wondering... That is, the reason I'm here... I, uh, have a daughter."
Any thought of his groveling vanished. Oh, gods. So, she hadn't been hallucinating. Tsunade pressed her fingers between her eyes. Of course the old pervert was still fertile. That had to be the reason he'd left Konoha so abruptly. She took a deep breath to calm herself, but when she opened her eyes, rage flooded her as soon as her gaze fixed on Jiraiya. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A DAUGHTER, YOU IDIOT?!"
Jiraiya flinched. But when he lifted his head, his gaze was agonized, and Tsunade almost regretted her outburst. Before she could think what to say, he muttered, "I'm sorry I kept it from you. But that's not important right now. These shinobi... they were attempting to recreate the Akatsuki. I was their first target, so they took my daughter." His single hand clenched into a fist. "I should have told you earlier, but... Kakashi came here to track them down. When he found out what happened, he went after them to save Satomi. Because I—I couldn't."
Tsunade froze. Kakashi... She found her voice, "How—how many did he go after?"
"At least five. They went into the forest." Jiraiya's mouth set grimly. Frustration and anger had lowered his tone to a growl. "Be careful, Tsuna. Most of them are former Root."
Tsunade had already launched herself into the night sky. She leaped along the rooftops, fear fueling her on. Former Root? She didn't doubt Kakashi's abilities, but even someone with his skill would be hard-pressed to take on such opponents. She landed on the outskirts of a barren field, and raced toward the forest.
Please, just let me get to him in time.
The sharp scent of blood hit her first. Then she saw the body. Tsunade slowed, pulse throbbing in her throat. Please, not... Blue hair. It wasn't Kakashi. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe again. But her relief vanished in a wave of horror. The shinobi had been brutally decapitated. His blood-spattered head lay a few yards away, wide eyes gazing blankly at the sky.
Kakashi... had done this?
Bile rose in her throat, and Tsunade stumbled into the forest. Kakashi had always showed his opponents respect. But this… this was something else. Cold. Almost animalistic. Tsunade pushed herself into a run, though now icy fear gripped her lungs at the thought of what she would find when she found Kakashi. Had he become... something else? She shook her head. No. He was still the Kakashi she loved. She had to believe that.
But she couldn't help remembering the last time she had seen him... He had lied about his mission, thinking he was protecting her. Even then, she had wondered if he thought he was protecting her from himself. Had he known he was capable of this?
Tsunade swiped at her eyes fiercely and pushed herself faster. Deep down, had she?
The tracks led her to a clearing. Ahead, the unmistakable forms of motionless bodies were scattered in the grass. Tsunade's eyes locked on to the dark shapes. Opposing fears tore at her; for Kakashi's life, and... no. She shook away her condemning thoughts, and forced herself to walk a few steps into the clearing. As if a black hole had suddenly yawned open in front of her, she stopped; rooted to the spot.
Five shinobi. All were dead; some burned nearly beyond recognition, others mutilated by a blade and sprawled in their own blood, like the blue-haired shinobi. As a healer, Tsunade could hardly look at them. They never had a chance. None were Kakashi, but her relief was no more than a spark; bright and acute, but extinguished in an instant. There was no longer any doubt in her mind who was responsible for this massacre.
Kakashi...
Muffled sobs pulled Tsunade out of her suffocating daze. She turned, and the sight in front of her stabbed her chest like a shard of ice. Barely visible across the clearing, an unconscious and bloody Kakashi was propped against a wide tree trunk, head sagging limply. His ninken surrounded him, and a young, white-haired girl clung to the largest dog, her face buried in his fur as she cried.
Oh, gods. No.
Tsunade rushed across the clearing, and the ninkens' heads raised as she approached. Her name was murmured among a few, but she ignored them as she collapsed to her knees at Kakashi's side. The ice twisted into her heart. He was covered in stabs and gashes, some still bleeding heavily.
But he was breathing.
The fog in Tsunade's head cleared a little, and she immediately used her chakra scalpel to start slicing away his shirt, wet and sticky with blood. She had to stop the bleeding first. She carefully peeled away the first section of his shirt, and her throat tightened. The cuts were long and horribly deep, exposing the sliced muscle and tissue where his flesh had stretched open. And blood, still trickling down the pale, mottled skin of his torso and dripping to the ground. Blood everywhere.
Just like Dan.
Tsunade bit back a curse, though she wanted to scream at the gods, at Kakashi, at herself. She would not lose Kakashi like she'd lost Dan. She couldn't.
Once Tsunade had collected herself enough to speak, she called to Kakashi's favorite ninken sharply, "Pakkun, take Jiraiya's daughter away. She doesn't need to see this."
"Hai, Hokage-sama," Pakkun answered gruffly. He didn't ask about Kakashi's condition, and she didn't offer. But as he padded away, he added, "We were afraid to move him. We weren't sure if..." he whimpered, as if he couldn't say the words either. "I'm glad you're here."
Tsunade bit her lip as she placed her glowing hands over Kakashi's chest and abdomen. Her eyes blurred until she couldn't see his wounds clearly, and she shook her head. But the motion did nothing to stop the tears from flowing. If she had confronted the elders sooner... if she had refused to let him leave... if—
"T-Tsuna?"
Tsunade jerked her gaze up and met Kakashi's agony-filled eyes. She sensed his pulse accelerate, and his chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. "How... how? You—you're here?"
Tsunade's chest constricted painfully. The images of the bodies behind her seemed to be seared into her mind, but she didn't want to think about that. She had to focus on healing him. "I'm here. It's all right."
"No—no." Kakashi's bloodied fingers clawed unseeingly at the grass. He closed his eyes. "I didn't want you to see... I'm sorry." A groan tore from his throat, and when his eyes opened again, they were filled with tears. "I—I didn't want to. They used to be my... comrades. But I killed them. I had to."
Tsunade's throat ached. Why did this have to happen? "Shhh, Kakashi. Be still. I'm healing you."
Kakashi's head thrashed back and forth, as if he hadn't heard her. "I can't—I can't wash free of the blood. The stench of it... it follows me everywhere. I killed my old comrades. I—I didn't hesitate, and I killed them all. Tsuna, that's all I am. A killer. That's all I can be." His gaze, dark and wild, clashed with hers, and he shuddered. His voice faded to a low rasp, "I understand if you don't... our promise..."
Tsunade shook her head. She didn't want to think about what Kakashi was capable of; what he had been pushed to do. Not right now. The wounds on his torso had sealed, so she took his hands and gently pried open his fists, palms gouged and bloody from his own nails, and let her healing chakra surrounded them. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." Tears dripped down her cheeks. "I never—never wanted you to go through that."
Kakashi stared at her, eyes red-rimmed. They both knew she hadn't given him an answer, but right now, she couldn't. His head drooped, focus falling to his hands still cradled in both of hers. His pulse was returning to normal, and his trembling had eased a little. But he needed rest. She lifted a hand and briefly set her palm against his forehead, giving him a small burst of chakra to put him to sleep. Kakashi slumped back against the tree trunk, but even in sleep, the tension didn't leave his muscles.
Tsunade sagged, beyond weary. But she couldn't take her gaze from Kakashi. Even while covered in blood that wasn't his own, there was something innocent and boyish about Kakashi while he slept. An endearing vulnerability she clung to. He might be capable of committing the bloodshed behind her, but he wasn't a killer. She knew who he was, because she had seen it many times over: a man with a kind heart who would do anything for those he cared about. He had been pushed beyond what any human should have to endure. But endure, he had. For her.
Tsunade clamped her aching eyes shut. This was how far Kakashi would go for those precious to him, even if it destroyed him in the process.
No. Tsunade opened her eyes to take in the man she had loved for the past six years, fierce certainty flooding her from head to toe. She wouldn't let it destroy him. He was broken, and healing would take time, but she would stay with him as long as it took. Even if he struggled with this for the rest of his life—even if he was never the same—she would be there for him. He had chosen to put her first, and she would do the same for him.
Tsunade turned to the ninken, taking in the long, solemn canine faces. Jiraiya's daughter, Satomi, still clung to the largest dog, but she stared at Tsunade with wide green eyes. "He'll be all right," she said quietly. Physically, at least. "But we need to take him somewhere he can rest. He lost a lot of blood and chakra."
Pakkun lurched up to all four paws, and she wondered if he knew his stub tail had begun to wag. "Jiraiya-sama's house would be the best place."
"Good. Lead the way, then." Tsunade glanced at the largest ninken, slightly ashamed she didn't know his name. "You, uh, the bulldog. Can you give Satomi a ride on your back?"
The bulldog bowed his head respectfully. "It's Bull, Hokage-sama. I would be honored." He started to turn to Satomi, but she was already scrambling up on his back, her pale, pinched face vanishing in a grin.
Tsunade managed a faint smile, then turned back to Kakashi. It took some careful maneuvering so she didn't reinjure his wounds, but she finally got him settled on her back. His head flopped over her shoulder, silver hair tickling her cheek. His weight wasn't a problem, but with her height, his booted feet almost brushed the ground. She sighed. It certainly wasn't ideal, but she didn't have a better way to get him back to Jiraiya's house. She nodded to Pakkun at the head of the pack. "Let's go."
As they walked back through the forest, Tsunade tipped her head to rest against Kakashi's masked cheek. In spite of everything, a long-awaited warmth settled deep in her chest. The road ahead of them would be long and hard, she knew that, but it would be worth it. It was more than worth it.
Love was a choice. And from now on, she would choose to love him no matter what.
.
.
Kakashi woke in a cold sweat, tangled in damp, suffocating sheets. Everything spun in circles and he gasped for breath, though the action sent a deep, aching pain through his gut. Where was he? His gaze darted feverishly, almost expecting a swinging blade or an enemy shinobi to leap out of the darkness. But his limbs were too heavy, and he could only lay helpless.
At least... unable to move... meant he was unable to kill.
A soft hand stroked his forehead, and a familiar voice murmured, "You're safe, Kakashi. Go back to sleep. Rest."
...Tsunade?
A sudden desperation to see her pierced him, but before he could find her, a fog shrouded his mind. He only managed a single coherent thought before drifting back into the darkness.
After everything he'd done... Tsunade was still here.
The thought brought an unwanted comfort, but it was fleeting as he fell back into the grip of his nightmares. Some of his victims screamed, but most took their last breath in silence, stricken gaze locked with his as their life drained away. Again and again, his blade slashed; his Chidori stabbed; his electricity struck.
Until he was drowning in blood.
When Kakashi's eyes opened again—minutes, hours, days, later—he could still taste the blood. But this time, faint sunlight surrounded him instead of darkness. As his senses slowly returned, he realized he had clamped his tongue between his teeth. Pain stabbed his mouth as he eased his tongue free, and a groan escaped. Movement shifted at his bedside. Tsunade appeared over him, dark circles shadowing her eyes. He could only stare uncomprehendingly as she reached to place her cool hand against the bare skin of his jaw, her blonde eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Hold still. It will be healed in a moment."
Warmth washed away the pain, though the thick tang of his blood remained. He wanted to ask why she was here instead of in Konoha. Why had she stayed after she saw what he'd done? But all he could manage was a slurred, "H-how..."
"It's your nightmares. You can't control what..." Tsunade lowered her head and pulled away, but not before he caught a glimpse of tears.
Kakashi had to turn his head to keep her in his sight. His heart thudded painfully. His thoughts struggled through a haze, but one thing was clear: Tsunade was hurting, and it was because of him. No matter what he did, he always hurt those he cared about. He clenched his teeth, sticky with blood. If only... if only...
Tsunade lifted her gaze, and locked with his. Her expression shifted. Abruptly, she leaned forward and touched his forehead. "You still have a lot of healing to do. Sleep, and recover."
As soon as sleep overtook him, so did the nightmares.
.
.
Kakashi's eyes flew open. His bandaged chest heaved from the last remnants of his dreams, but his pulse slowed as he took in the room around him. It appeared to be a small bedroom, likely for a guest based on the lack of belongings. Slowly, he eased himself up into a sitting position.
The red glow of sunset illuminated the window on the right of the bed. Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, searching for his last memory of consciousness. Though his muscles still shook from the lingering nightmares, his physical wounds were no more than a dull ache. Tsunade had saved him, again—
Tsunade.
A cold fist clamped around his gut. Kakashi shoved aside the blanket and awkwardly swung his legs off the side of the bed. A wave of dizziness swept over him, and he gripped the edge of the mattress. Damn those nightmares. His wounds might be healed, but his entire body shook with exhaustion, as if he'd run non-stop to Suna. His head throbbed and he closed his eyes, fingers digging into the sheets.
Tsunade. Even worse than the nightmares was the look of horror in her eyes when she'd seen what he had done to the former Root shinobi. When she'd seen what he was capable of. She had tried to hide it; but he saw it clearly. Revulsion.
Kakashi's shoulders sagged. What was his plan? Had he intended to run after her, and tell her that what she saw wasn't true? That it wasn't really him? Because it was true, and now, they both knew it.
He was a killer, and nothing could change that.
The bedroom door opened, and Tsunade walked in, holding a steaming cup. Her eyes widened. "Kakashi!" She hastily set the cup on a small dresser, and rushed to his side. "How are you feeling?"
Kakashi stared into her beautiful honey irises, filled with concern. But all he could see was those same eyes, dark with repulsion. It cut him to the bone, and he deserved it. He broke contact and lowered his head. "Better."
Tsunade hesitated, but at last she stepped back. Kakashi couldn't help himself; as soon as she turned away, his gaze fixed on her, like a beggar longing for diamonds he could never hope to have. She still wore her dark blue jōnin uniform without the flak jacket and gloves, though both shirt and pants were rumpled, as if she hadn't thought to change for several days. Maybe she hadn't. How long had they been here?
Tsunade cleared her throat as she rummaged through a medical pack. "I need to put new bandages on your wounds. They have sealed, but I don't want to risk anything reopening."
Kakashi grunted in reply. His head swam in dizzying circles, so he closed his eyes.
Tsunade's presence approached, but he kept his eyes shut. Her fingers brushed his chest and torso as she unwrapped the old bandages, and he was unable to stop a shiver at her nearness. Why was her scent so intoxicating? He jerked when a cool, wet cloth touched the tender skin, and his eyes opened of their own accord.
Tsunade's face was inches from his own, though her attention was fixed on his wounds. He had unintentionally tilted his head closer, following the scent of her hair, now so close he could have buried his face in the curve of her neck. He straightened, silently cursing, and hoped Tsunade hadn't noticed. He needed to get a hold of himself, before he hurt both of them further.
He was a broken man, with too many wounds to count. And he didn't know if he would ever heal. He couldn't let himself bleed on Tsunade, too.
Tsunade gathered her fresh bandages and began to wrap the linen strips around his chest. She still didn't look at him, but her hands shook as she tucked the end under and started with a new linen. A piercing ache stabbed him and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't ask what she was afraid of; terrified the answer would be him.
Kakashi gripped his knees, dragging his focus to something—anything—besides Tsunade's trembling. "When do you return to Konoha? Surely they can't go much longer without their hokage."
Tsunade flinched. Her gaze cut to his, sharper than the razor edge of a kunai. "We are returning to Konoha when you are ready."
Kakashi swallowed hard, but he had no answer as he watched her push to her feet and walk to the dresser against the opposite wall. He knew he should say something... warn her away from who he'd become, but he couldn't focus. And the deepest part of him couldn't do it. He couldn't face this—this black hole inside of himself alone. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, bury his face in her neck, and hold her.
Tsunade appeared in front of him again and held out the cup she'd brought in earlier. "Here, drink this. I made it to—to help with your nightmares."
Kakashi blinked. His nightmares? Were they that obvious? Again, he took in Tsunade's shadowed eyes and shaking hands... and he had his answer. He dug his fingers into his knee, painfully. He forced himself to reach for the cup with his other hand, but his senses were failing him, and his fingertips bumped Tsunade's wrist instead. "Sorry." He tried again, unsuccessfully. "I'm—I'm not..."
"Kakashi. Let me." Tsunade's hand slipped around the back of his neck, her firm fingers bracing his head as she lifted the cup to his mouth. She held it in place until he finished gulping the bitter liquid, then lowered the cup. "Good. Now, lay down and sleep." Her soft pink lips curved, though he thought he saw a slight tremor. "You need your strength, so we can return to Konoha."
Kakashi leaned back onto the bed with Tsunade's help, his eyelids heavy. A comfortable black closed over him, his last glimpse before he drifted away of Tsunade; her head and shoulders drooping with exhaustion. She turned away and buried her face in her hands.
Tsunade. Before Kakashi could reach for her, the darkness covered him.
.
.
A soft snore woke Kakashi. He opened his eyes from a comfortable haze of sleep, every muscle relaxed. His heartbeat was slow and steady, and his body free of feverish sweat. So, for a long moment, he lay still and breathed. He hadn't slept that deeply in years, and he felt like he could run all the way to Suna.
Tsunade's concoction had really...
Tsunade.
An overwhelming need to find her pulsed through him, but something else kept him pinned in place. Kakashi gripped fistfuls of the sheets, his gaze locked on the ceiling; too afraid to see if she was in the room. Afraid that she wouldn't be. Questions—fears—hammered at him. Did she still love him? Could she still love him, after she'd seen what he was capable of?
The look of repulsion on her face was the only answer he had. He clamped his eyes shut. How could there be any other answer? He was stained with the blood of all the people he had slaughtered. Stained so deeply, he knew he would never be completely free of it. How could she love someone like that?
Kakashi groaned softly. And yet, after everything, he still wanted her. Needed her. Needed her with every fiber of his being.
Another snore jolted him from his thoughts. A... snore? Kakashi looked to his right, and stared. The glow from sunset through the window provided enough light to make out a sleeping figure. Tsunade was sprawled across the other side of the bed, as if she'd collapsed from exhaustion and fell asleep where she lay. Her head was turned toward the window, but he could make out her steady breathing.
Despite everything, he couldn't help a smile. Seeing his hokage in such a vulnerable position warmed the hollowness in his chest. At least... she trusted him enough to sleep in his presence. His smiled widened. And her snore was adorable.
All he wanted was to be close to her. Kakashi gave in to the primal need, and shifted onto his side, easing close enough to gaze down at her face—covered with a curtain of blonde hair. His heart ached, throbbing with every beat. Why was the horror in her eyes the only thing he could remember? No. Kakashi took in the curve of her neck and silky blonde strands spread across the pillow. He breathed in the scent of jasmine... and tears. His throat tightened. A part of him still couldn't believe Tsunade was here. She had left everything behind in Konoha, to come after him.
For him. And she was still here; next to him. She'd stayed. That had to mean something.
Unable to help himself, Kakashi brushed his thumb along her smooth cheek, and tucked the stray strands of hair behind her ear. She stirred, and he winced. He hadn't meant to wake her, but he should have known she would wake at his touch.
Tsunade blinked slowly; her sleepy gaze taking him in. "K-Kakashi? What are you doing?"
Kakashi pulled his hand back. Fool. He had no right to touch her like that when things were so uncertain between them. But still, he couldn't make himself move away. "Nothing. I was just... thinking."
"Hmm." Tsunade's lips curved slightly, but she only curled on her side with a sigh, back to him. "Fine," she murmured groggily, eyes closed. "Just don't aggravate your wounds."
"My wounds are fine." Kakashi wasn't sure why he was still talking. Maybe he just wanted to reassure her. But... she hadn't recoiled at his presence. He exhaled, gathering his nerve. "Thank you. For coming after me."
Tsunade went still, and for a long moment, he wasn't sure if she'd even heard. But then she rolled over, facing him. The movement jostled Kakashi, and he had to reach out and plant his hand on the mattress, arm braced across Tsunade to keep himself from falling on her. The mere inches separating them did nothing to keep him from feeling the heat from her body.
Kakashi started to shift back to give her room, but Tsunade caught his arm, holding him in place. Her honey eyes, luminous in the moonlight, locked with his. "I—I've been thinking about our promise."
Their promise? The promise they had waited years for; yearned for? Why would she be thinking about it? Unless... A numbing coldness seized him, and the taste of bile threatened to choke him. Kakashi couldn't answer as tension rendered him rigid, the turmoil in his mind leaving him unable to find words. What if she...?
Tsunade's fingers tightened around his arm. "Do you remember when I said I couldn't be in a relationship with you because of my duties the hokage? That I couldn't let anything get in the way?"
Kakashi managed a nearly-imperceptible nod. She had feared she would put their relationship first, but he hadn't cared. He was willing to wait as long as it took. But... so many things had changed since then. He had changed since then. He closed his eyes, terrified of what he would see in Tsunade's gaze. But whatever she had decided, he would accept it. Even if it killed him from the inside out.
"But, I left all of that—my duties and responsibilities—behind to come after you anyway." Tsunade's voice has softened, and warm fingers lightly brushed wetness from his cheek. He hadn't even realized he was crying.
Tsunade's words washed over him again, and Kakashi opened his eyes to stare at Tsunade. Her lips had curved in a smile, and his heart leaped. She wouldn't be smiling if—if... "What are you saying?"
Tsunade's mouth quirked upward in amusement, but her eyes... glowed with affection; impossibly, for him. "I'm saying that I love you too much. I'm committed to my position as hokage, but I also want to be committed to you. I want to be here for you. I don't want to wait anymore. As shinobi, we never know what tomorrow will bring." She reached up and framed his face with her hands, and gently wiped away the last of his tears. Her voice lowered to a whisper, "But we have tonight."
Overwhelmed with emotion and the intensity of love for her, Kakashi could only gaze down at this beautiful, perfect woman who had chosen him, a lump in his throat. He longed to kiss her until she couldn't breathe, but he couldn't. Not yet. "But you saw... what I've done..."
"Kakashi." Tsunade's eyes blazed with a sudden ferocity. "You did what you were forced to do for those you love. That isn't who you are. Do you think I never had to complete a mission that tore me up inside? No matter what, I choose you. I'm not leaving. I know who you are, and that is who I love."
"Tsuna..." Kakashi had no more words. She still loved him. His heart swelled until it seemed it would burst from his chest, and he closed the gap between them, heat burning through his veins. He needed to kiss her. Now.
And was stopped by a firm finger pressed to his lips.
"One more thing." Tsunade's gaze was steady, though her cheeks were flushed and her pulse thrummed against his chest. Kakashi struggled to focus on her, and not the nearness of her body and his hot blood. "Never feel like you have to hide things from me again. You will always have me, and I—I need you to believe that."
Kakashi took in the shimmer in her eyes, and a pang ached in his chest. His attempt to protect her had hurt her. Deeply. He exhaled. "I believe you. I'm sorry, Tsuna." He pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist, gaze locked on hers. "And as long as I am here, you will always have all of me... all that I can give."
Tsunade smiled; the loving, tender smile only meant for him. The smile that turned his insides into knots and made him think of nothing else. "I know."
She kissed him then, long and slow and deep. Full of promises... and an invitation.
We have tonight.
Kakashi pulled her closer, and Tsunade moved with him, the groan in her throat setting his senses on fire as he lost himself in the taste of her. He poured all of his passion into his kisses as his hand slid under her shirt, her smooth, warm skin intoxicating. She kissed him again, her hands slipping back around his neck to pull him closer, fingers entwining in his hair. All he could feel was Tsunade; her legs wrapping around him, the soft, electrifying touch of her skin, her fingers leaving trails of fire across his chest and torso.
Between kisses, Kakashi murmured against her soft lips, "Tsuna... Tsuna..."
Square Mom Lover: Ahh, thank you! Ngl, your review brought me great satisfaction. XD Yes, Satomi is Jiraiya's daughter. Very true, but on the other hand, Koharu didn't know there were actual threats. She just wanted to eliminate possibilities - which I like to think Tsunade would have done a much better job of dealing with, if only Koharu had informed her. I hope this chapter answers the rest of your questions! :) Yes, so true! We need more KakaTsu stories, for sure. Oh, thank you! I'm so flattered you're looking forward to more stories. :') I currently have a couple in the works, the first of which will hopefully be published early next year.
Anonymous 99: You're all first place in my heart! XD Yes, I debated on how much this mission would affect Kakashi, since he is a veteran, like you said. Ultimately, I went the way I did, because we all know he has a kind heart, so I think it would greatly affect him. Honestly, tho, you'd think the elders would have learned their lesson by now, haha. Aww, thank you so much! I'm so honored my story is in your top two. Underneath Things is truly a gem. Yes, Divergent is excellent! I'm glad you're enjoying it too. Thank you! I hope the ending will be worth the wait. :)
Idle-ing: Haha, I couldn't resist inserting the bit about Naruto's hair, because you're right, it was a total mess. Ngl, I do so enjoy writing Tsunade giving the elders what they deserve. XD Kakashi definitely deserves a long, long break. Looks like your predictions were pretty on point, but on that subject, I'm pleased I managed to surprise you with Jiraiya's kid. XD I've always liked the idea of Jiraiya having a child, and perhaps forcing a bit of maturity out him as well. I do love writing kenjutsu scenes, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much! :)
Princess Hinashi: Thank you! Intensity is what I'm going for. XD
Krach: Omg, thank you! I'm glad I can make your day a little better. :) Of course! I greatly appreciate your reviews! I hope this chapter is enjoyable, as well. :D
The You of Yesterday: Thank you for leaving a review! I appreciate it so much. And it makes me so happy that my updates are worth looking forward too! :) Tsunade and Kakashi definitely have a lot ahead of them to go through, but the hardest obstacles often have the sweetest results.
Ojay1307: Thanks for your review! :)
AstronautGirl: Ahhhh, thank you so much! :D Your review truly made my day. They are an amazing ship, aren't they? Welcome aboard! XD It's a shame it's so rare. Divergent is great! Idle does a great job with her interpretation of the pairing. Omg, thank you for the complements! I'm so touched you enjoyed the story so much! :)
