This snapshot takes place literally the day after the end of FC (before the epilogue). This is somewhat for Claire_grady143, who kept bugging me about the question. Hope I managed to do it justice.
It was sort of weird to revisit that time frame, and I had to stop myself from accidentally adding Murphy to this story. But... I've got another Murphy idea that will hopefully pan out.
That Which We Call A Rose
"You don't have to decide today or right now, but we wanted to make sure that you were aware that as part of the adoption process you could legally change your last name."
Maisie was lying on her stomach on her bed in her room with a book, but she wasn't paying it any attention. Instead, a comment Owen and Claire — no wait, her parents, wow that was going to take some time to get used to — had made back when they'd started the adoption process kept circling through her head.
When she'd initially asked them about getting adopted, she'd mostly been wanting the permanency. Knowing that a social worker wouldn't show up one day and take her someplace else. When she'd asked, she had known that she liked Owen and Claire. That maybe she had even loved them already, even if she hadn't been ready to say it at the time. That first year had been full of so many changes and upheaval. Maisie hadn't wanted to go through that again. Adoption, she had figured, would mean she wouldn't have to worry about that. She just hadn't expected it to take as long as it did.
The first time they'd mentioned the possibility of her changing her last name, she could tell they had been really nervous about bringing it up. They kept telling her that it was up to her and that she didn't have to make up her mind right then. Which was good, because it was something she'd never thought of before. She'd just always been Maisie Lockwood. The idea that she could be something different had never really occurred to her. And then, when she'd started mulling it over, she hadn't been able to decide what she would change her name to, if she even did. Should she become Maisie Grady or Maisie Dearing? Or Maisie Grady-Dearing? Or Maisie Dearing-Grady? Or Maisie some-random-name-she-made-up? There had been too many options and she'd been, honestly, relieved when Owen and Claire hadn't asked her about it again.
Although, that wasn't completely true. They had, a few times, but it was always mostly off-handedly as it came up throughout the adoption proceedings. Maisie had never known how to respond, and in turn, everyone seemed to accept her silence to mean that she wanted to stay Maisie Lockwood.
Which she did. Or, more accurately, had. She wasn't feeling quite so sure anymore.
But the adoption was also finalized now. Claire — her mom — had picked up the papers from the lawyer's office earlier that day. And if it was finalized, did that mean it was too late to do anything? And, if she did do something, she was still left with the same question she'd always had — what would her new name be?
Maisie had mentioned the idea once to her best friend, Lily. Lily had said she should just take Claire and Owen's last name and then had been confused when Maisie had had to explain that they didn't have the same one. Lily had also been unsure what was a better idea from all the options. A single name would be shorter than a hyphenated one. But a single one, would mean only taking her mom or dad's last name. But taking both… how do you decide who gets to go first? In the end, her conversation with Lily had just resulted in them trying to create the funniest last names they could imagine. Which had been fun, of course, but hadn't really helped.
It wasn't just that the adoption was now finalized that had her re-thinking the issue. It was also everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks. The Lockwood name felt more tainted than it ever had before. Maisie had always been so proud of her name. She'd loved her grandpa fiercely. She still felt unsettled over everything she'd learned about her origins, but she continued to focus on what Claire and Owen had told her repeatedly after the initial incident at the Estate — that her grandpa had created her out of love, and had loved her for who she was, not just who she represented.
They'd pointed to all of her memories with her grandpa before those final days. And that there's a difference in keeping up a lie for a couple of weeks or even months, from doing so for over nine years. It had helped that Iris had backed them, confirming everything they were saying. It didn't mean she forgave her grandpa, at least, not completely. Instead, what it really had done, was left her with mostly muddled feelings about everything.
Should she change her name?
Now that they were a family, a permanent family, Maisie found that she wanted to be tied to her parents as close as she could. She wanted every bit of the connection that she could get. She wanted to never again have to wonder about where, or if, she belonged.
But, why hadn't her parents ever pushed the issue? Why had they just let it drop, especially as the adoption got closer? Did they not want her to take their name? Her mom hadn't taken her dad's when they got married. Did that mean something? Would they be upset that she wanted to change hers?
She should probably talk to them. They had always said she could ask them about anything. And so far, they seemed to have meant it, answering any and all of her questions. Although, she had caught on that her dad would get embarrassed about some topics, and so she usually took her questions to her mom.
Maybe she'd do so tonight at dinner. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer to whether or not they wanted her to change her name, but maybe she'd just ask if she was too late. After all, if she was, then none of the rest mattered.
x x x
Claire was pacing their bedroom when Owen entered, causing him to pause. He was tempted to leave, to give her space to work through whatever it was she was working through. There were too many possibilities that were immediately jumping to mind and he didn't feel all that prepared to deal with any of them. Not yet. Even if he knew they had a lot they needed to talk about.
However, before he could back out of the room, Claire saw him, and he knew he was trapped. Desperately, he tried to think of a neutral topic, before she could spring whatever she was thinking about on him. "I know we need to get groceries, but I was thinking maybe this time it'd be better to do so on our way to the cabin. Stop in some other town. That way we could leave first thing tomorrow and make the most of our time out there."
"Oh, um, sure," she nodded, looking momentarily thrown by the topic. "To be honest, I haven't even thought about food. Or packing. I need to make a list." Her gaze darted about their room, as if a pad of paper would magically appear.
Owen frowned. The last couple of weeks had been emotionally draining, and he wasn't looking forward to more of that, but Claire not being organized for a weekend trip away? Normally she'd have multiple lists by now, a packing one for each of them, along with a grocery one and other miscellaneous items they needed to bring (or to remember to bring back).
"What's going on?" he asked, before cringing and explaining. "I mean, besides... well, everything. What's got you worked up tonight?"
"I'm not worked up," she shot back, before freezing in place, her hands rising to her face as she let out a slow breath. "Okay, maybe I am. I just… Did you know that Maisie wanted to change her name?"
"No," Owen said, shaking his head. "To be honest, I haven't ever really thought about her last name. And she's never brought it up before. She's always just been Maisie Lockwood. It's not like her last name has made her feel less like my daughter. I mean, you're my wife and you didn't change your name." He was surprised when Claire winced, her gaze darting away from his. "What? What did I say?"
"Do you think that's why?" Claire asked, although her voice was so quiet, Owen almost didn't hear it.
"Think what's why?"
"That she never asked, because I didn't take yours?" she replied, although she still refused to look at him.
Owen quickly crossed the bedroom to stand in front of her, reaching out to grasp her arms, her gaze finally rising to meet his. "No," he said firmly.
"But she said she didn't know what to take," Claire reminded him. "Dearing or Grady or some combo of the two."
Owen started to respond but faltered, unsure what to say to that. After Maisie had asked them over dinner if it was too late to change her name, and they'd told her she could change it whenever, she had started to ask them about what she should change it to. Not that she'd really given them space to reply. Instead, she'd gone down the list of options, all the combinations she'd thought of. By the time she'd finished, Owen had felt like his head was about to explode, and he'd mostly just been glad that he'd never had to make that decision himself.
"If I had taken yours, this would be easy for her."
Claire's soft whisper brought him back to the present, and he focused his attention back on her.
"Yeah," he agreed, before quickly adding, "But the same could be said if I had taken yours." She looked unconvinced, and he continued, stating firmly: "There was and is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your own. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. It doesn't make us less married or make us less of a family. Even before Maisie was officially adopted, we were a family. Last names are of least importance."
"Yeah, but–"
"No buts," Owen interjected. "Besides, unless you're about to tell me that you suddenly want to change your last name…" he trailed off, looking at her questioningly, unsurprised when she immediately shook her head, looking aghast. "Right, then there's no point thinking about that. All that matters is that Maisie wants to change hers. And–"
This time, Owen cut himself off, as the full weight of Maisie wanting to change her name finally hit him. Back when he and Claire were married, they'd only talked about last names for about a minute as they were filling out the paperwork. At the time, he hadn't been surprised (or upset) when she chose to keep Dearing, although he would've been happy if she'd said she wanted to change to Grady. And he'd meant what he'd said to her, then and now, that it didn't matter to him that she kept Dearing. He had never felt less married because of that.
"Hitting you, too?" Claire asked, a knowing look on her face.
"Yeah," he breathed out, still trying to comprehend everything. "She wants to take our name."
"Worse, she doesn't know what name she wants to take," Claire corrected.
"Yeah, but she wants us," he said. "You know how you felt the first time she said 'I love you'? And when she asked to be adopted? And then yesterday, when she called us mom and dad for the first time?"
Claire nodded.
"I keep thinking, each time one of those has happened, that that moment is the happiest moment of my life. And then the next one comes along. And the next one. And, does it ever end?"
"I hope not," she replied. "I want to know that there are more of these moments to experience. That we're not done yet."
"Yeah," he agreed, pulling her towards him, as he wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head atop hers and letting out a sigh. "I know that life doesn't guarantee a happily ever after. And I know that's not a label most would've put on our relationship over the years, but I wouldn't change a thing."
For a moment Claire was quiet, her arms wrapped around him as she leaned against him, before there was a muffled snort. It soon gave way to louder laughter, until she was leaning against him more so she could stay upright as she let out a deep belly laugh.
"What?" Owen asked, feeling offended that she was laughing over what had been, to him, a pretty serious moment.
"I know what you mean," Claire managed to gasp out, "but c'mon. Even I can come up with a bunch of things I'd change about the last few years."
"Okay, fine, sure," he conceded, rolling his eyes. "But the outcome? You and me, standing here, in this house, with Maisie as our daughter? I'd go through it all again if I still ended up right here."
He'd barely finished speaking before Claire was kissing him, her laughter already forgotten. Eventually, she pulled away, breathless. "Me too," she told him. "Everything. Even that fucking gyrosphere."
She let out a shudder at that, and Owen pulled her back to him, knowing that the memories of it still gave her nightmares at times.
"Thankfully, we don't have to," he simply said, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Instead, we get to deal with whatever comes next."
"Yeah," she agreed, leaning against him again for a long moment, before suddenly pulling away. "And speaking of what comes next, I need to make a list. And if you want to leave first thing, we need to pack tonight. And–"
This time it was Owen cutting her off, as he dipped down to kiss her. "Never change."
x x x
The drive out to the cabin was uneventful. Claire hadn't realized just how lost in her own thoughts she was, until, as they'd neared the cabin, she realized the music she'd been unconsciously tapping along to was country, not a genre she generally preferred. She looked over at Owen in surprise. How long had he been playing that?
He seemed to have been waiting for her reaction, as it wasn't long before he looked her way. "That took you two hours and–" he checked the clock on the dashboard "–and about 23 minutes longer than I expected." He chuckled at her look of shock, before reaching across the center console to grab her hand. "Everything okay? Did we forget to turn the stove off or something?"
"What? No, I don't think so," Claire shook her head. "Just trying to, I don't know, wrap my mind around everything, I guess. It all still feels sort of like a dream."
"You mean nightmare," Owen corrected, and she just nodded her agreement. "I know what you mean. I'm really looking forward to these few days away."
"Same," she agreed, squeezing his hand. "I just want to lay in the hammock and forget about the world for a while."
"Might be a bit chilly for that," he reminded her.
Claire groaned. Right. This was the problem with living in California with a cabin out in the mountains. In the summer, it was nice to be able to escape the heat of the San Francisco area by going there, but in the winter it could mean dealing with snow.
"Hm, we left the sleeping bags there last time, right?" she asked, barely waiting for him to give confirmation. "Maybe I can use one of those. That could be cozy."
"Even warmer if you let me share," he said with a suggestive wink.
"Owen," Claire hissed as she dropped his hand to punch him lightly in the shoulder, glancing over into the backseat to see if Maisie was paying any attention. Thankfully, Maisie had her headphones on and was playing some game on her phone.
"Just saying," Owen replied with a laugh. "Besides, you should be nicer to me. I put the hammock away in the fall. If you want to use it, I'm going to have to set it up." They both fell quiet for a long moment, before he added: "What's really on your mind?"
"I've been thinking about Maisie's name," Claire finally admitted, and almost immediately the playful atmosphere changed. "What she should change it to," she added, even though she knew Owen understood what she meant. "I think she should do Grady-Dearing."
"Oh," he said, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he stared out the front of the car. Claire watched him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
"You okay?" she asked, when he still hadn't replied over a minute later. "Were you thinking something else?"
"I–no, I mean, I don't know," he stumbled over his words.
Claire reached for his hand again, this time lacing her fingers through his. She wished they weren't in the truck so she could slide closer to him. Maybe she should've waited until later to have this conversation. But she'd been obsessing over it the whole drive.
"Maisie Elizabeth Grady-Dearing," he said softly, trying out the name.
"Actually, I was going to suggest she keep Lockwood," Claire admitted. "As a second middle name."
"Maisie Elizabeth Lockwood Grady-Dearing. That's a mouthful," Owen laughed.
"Sure, but how often does anyone ever really use their full name?" she countered. "I think it'd be good for her to remember her past. To not feel like she's trying to run away from it."
"Yeah," he nodded in agreement after a moment. "Are you sure it shouldn't be Dearing-Grady? That's alphabetical."
"Maisie Elizabeth Lockwood Dearing-Grady?" Claire asked back, and he nodded. "I suppose it could." She shrugged. "To be honest, it doesn't matter to me what order she chooses, I just thought you might like to have Grady first. But we can just ask her."
"I love you, you know that?" Owen said, lifting their joined hands to his mouth so he could press a kiss to her knuckles.
"I know," Claire nodded. "And I love you, too."
x x x
The day Claire got the news that the paperwork was official, she picked up a Dairy Queen ice cream cake on her way home as a surprise. It was Maisie's favourite, and she wanted to do something special to mark the day.
She'd had them write Maisie's final choice on the top — Maisie Dearing-Grady. She would've had them put the full name, but Maisie had decided in the end to keep Lockwood, and it was just too long for the cake. Besides, like she'd told Owen that day in the truck, no one ever really used their full name.
After parking her car in the garage, Claire pulled out her work bag and both the cake and the pizza she'd also stopped to get and climbed the few steps to the door, struggling to get it open, her hands full.
"I've got dinner," she called out as she entered. "Can someone give me a hand?"
Almost immediately Owen appeared in the doorway, stepping forward to take the food from her. "Yum, we're starving." He paused mid step as he finally noticed the Dairy Queen box.
"What's this?"
"Cake, that's probably melting sitting on the pizza box," she told him, pushing him gently out of the room. "It needs to go in the freezer while we eat."
"Cake? What for?" Owen asked as he headed into the kitchen. "Who's birthday is it?" A flicker of panic chased across his features as he tried to figure out what he had missed.
"Cake?" Maisie asked, popping up from where she'd been sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. She hurried over to them, grabbing the DQ box off the top and placing it on the counter. "Ooh, can we have dessert first?"
"No one's birthday," Claire explained, swiping the box away from Maisie before she could open it. "It's for after dinner."
"Are we celebrating something?" Owen asked as Claire put the cake in the freezer.
"Yep," she simply replied with a smile. "But let's eat first."
Owen and Maisie were clearly more interested in what was with the cake than enjoying their dinner, considering how fast they inhaled their pizza. In turn, Claire ate slower and slower, just to watch their pained expressions. When she went to reach for a fourth slice, Maisie's groan had Claire laughing.
"Fine, fine, I'm done," she told them. "Maisie, can you grab some plates and forks?"
Owen cleared the half empty pizza boxes and their dirty plates off the table while Claire retrieved the cake. Once they had all sat down again, Claire slid the box towards Maisie.
"It's for you," she said.
"For me?" Maisie repeated. "What for?"
"Open it," Claire gestured at the box.
The moment Maisie saw the cake, she froze, before tears sprang to her eyes. "Mom?" she whispered, her gaze slowly rising to Claire's.
"It's official," Claire confirmed. "I got the final paperwork today."
"Maisie Dearing-Grady," Maisie said slowly, her gaze back down on the cake. "I–" she started before she choked up, and Claire quickly got out of her chair, circling the table.
"We love you, Maisie," Claire told her, pulling the girl into a hug. "And we're so humbled to share our names with you."
"You can never get rid of us now," Owen added, his arms wrapping around both of them, causing Maisie to laugh through her tears.
"I never want to," Maisie told them.
They continued to hug for a long moment, before Maisie broke the silence. "Can we eat it now?"
As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.
Last Thursday I started posting a new multi-chapter fic called All That You Can't Leave Behind. It's clawen, and takes place Pre JW and is more of a character study, sort of? It's Claire dealing with the reappearance of a person from her past and sort of the parallels of life.
