Author's Note: Alright, this is probably the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope you enjoy! Make sure to leave a review and let me know what you think!
Chapter Thirty Nine: Safe Haven
Once outside, I grab Khan's reins and allow Ying to lead me down the street.
"Ying?" I ask once we are far enough away from the tavern.
"Yes?"
"Why did Xue get so angry back there?"
Ying gives me a funny look. "Don't you get angry in the face of injustice?"
"Well, yes…but she barely knows me. In fact, none of you do. Why are you all so ready to help me?"
"You're in need, Mulan. It's the right thing to do." Ying smiles at me warmly, but I still can't wrap my head around it completely.
"You offered to hide me. What would happen if someone here ratted you guys out? You could be convicted of treason for helping me."
"No one who lives here would rat you out," Ying states nonchalantly.
"Why?" I persist. "Why would everyone here, people who know next to nothing about me except for the fact that I am considered a traitor, risk their livelihoods, their lives, to protect me?"
Ying stops suddenly, and I realize that we have reached the square. It is still crowded with a diverse display of people, all of them seemingly completely comfortable with who they are.
"Don't you see, Mulan?" Ying asks, looking at the people rather than me. "Look, Mulan."
I do so, following her gaze to observe the villagers.
"Mulan, we want to protect you because, at one point or another, we were you. We've been beaten up, bruised, unwanted, uncared for, criticized, hurt, abused, kicked to the ground and forced to get back up again and again and again. We know what it's like to feel like wasted space, to lead a life void of purpose, to be worthless. Our whole lives, we've been judged for who we are. So, we tried to hide it, to be what everyone told us to be. We endured the abuse for years, trying to ignore the part of ourselves that wanted to be free. Finally, we snapped. We couldn't take it anymore, so we decided not to. We came here."
"Ying?" I whisper quietly. She turns to look at me. "What is 'here'? Where am I?"
"Bìfēnggǎng."
"Bìfēnggǎng? As in Safe Haven? That's the name of this village?"
"Yes." She nods. "It is a fitting name, too." She continues to stare at the villagers. "We have been called a lot of things: oddballs, misfits, weirdos, outcasts, freaks."
I cringe at the last word. "I've had a lot of experience with that last one." I chuckle humorlessly.
"That is the point of this place though. This village, it's a safe haven for anyone who wants out of societal norms. We have so many different kinds of people here: women and men who don't fit the gender roles assigned to them, people who don't fit the genders assigned to them, children born with deformities or disabilities, people who love others of the same gender, and ones who don't associate themselves with either gender. We don't have to hide here. We don't need to pretend to be something we're not. That's the golden rule here: Everyone is to be treated with respect no matter who they are.
But, there is a big difference between the people here and you. When we had had enough, we ran from our pain, from our hurt. We ran from society and the people who hated us. You, on the other hand, ran towards the pain. You fought against it, tried to overcome it. We ran because we were afraid. You ran because you are brave. That is why everyone here respects you, why we would die for you."
As Ying speaks, I feel something wet run down my cheek. I hadn't even noticed I was crying.
"This is the first time I've walked down a street as Mulan and haven't been stared at judgmentally," I choke out quietly.
Ying takes my hand and squeezes it.
"You are safe here." She gives me a small smile, and, for the first time in weeks, I am able to smile a real smile, not a fake. "Come on, then," Ying states after a moment. I nod and follow her down the street.
"So, where do all of these people come from? And, how did they get here?" I ask as we walk.
"Sometimes, people here go around China looking for people in need of being cut free," Ying explains. "But, other times, they make it here on their own. You know how naturally Liu helped you? How she brought you to Xue and I?" I nod. "That's because it's our system. Sad as it is, you're not the first half-dead teenage girl that's come stumbling down these streets. Liu along with some other older ladies are in charge of keeping an eye out for them, and when they find them, they bring them to Xue and I. Though, it's not always women. Many different people come here, looking for help, for freedom. Everyone here has their own story."
"Earlier, you said that a lot of travelers came through here, and that's why you always had medical supplies at the ready. You meant the people coming here to get away, didn't you?" I ask. Ying nods. "Huh. I never knew there were so many people who are…are…"
"As different as you?" Ying guesses.
"Yes."
"You've never met anyone like you before, have you, Mulan?"
"No," I admit, looking at the ground. "I've always been the village freak, ever since I was a kid. I never had anyone who could really relate to me, so I guess I just figured there was something…wrong with me. I never fit in, I thought it was just dumb luck, like I was the only person who felt like they didn't fit well into the mold assigned to them. Or, at least, I was the only one who couldn't change to fit into the mold."
"Many of us have felt that way." Ying states, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But, that's the best part of being surrounded by people who went through the same struggles you did: they can relate. Where did you grow up?" she asks.
"Peizhi."
Ying snorts. "Peizhi, there's a traditional village for you! You must have stuck out like a sore thumb there!"
I smile again, nodding "You know it. Traditional village, with traditional people who happen to be very bad whisperers."
"Oh come on," Ying jokes. "We all know they could be good whisperers if they wanted to be! They just like to make sure we know just how crazy they think we are."
I laugh. When was the last time I laughed? When was the last time I let my guard down around someone who wasn't Mushu? Let's face it: a very long time. Part of me wants to stay here. No, almost all of me wants to stay here. But, I can't. I know I can't. And I know that the chance of me living long enough to come back is slim to none. So, I decide to spend what time I do have left satisfying my curiosity.
"I noticed how…untouched this place seems from the war," I begin.
"That's because we are." Ying states proudly. "Actually, we are pretty untouched from the rest of China. Well, until those soldiers showed up yesterday. They didn't cause much trouble, though."
We walk by three children playing jump rope. I can't help but smile at them.
"The children, I think, are living proof of how untouched we are from the horrors of the outside world." Ying continues. "Most of the children born here don't even know what sexism is. And if they do, they have trouble comprehending how someone could possibly be alright with that sort of thing. The same goes for gender roles."
"Beautiful," is all I can manage. "Beautiful, all of it, beautiful."
Once I collect myself, I turn to look at Ying. "Ying, do you mind if I ask you something…personal?"
She shrugs. "Go ahead."
"Well, you said earlier that everyone here has their own story. You know mine, I was wondering what yours is. You know, what brought you here?" I look at her face, trying to read it to see if my asking had offended her in any way. She gives me a small smile.
"I suppose it's only fair, seeing as I know so much about you, and you know little of me."
I watch as her face becomes concentrated, like she is trying to figure out where to start.
"Before I jump all into my story and whatnot, I'll start with some general information," she decides aloud. "First off, I am twenty years old, and Xue is my biological cousin on my father's side. That is why we have the same surname; our fathers' are brothers. Xue is older than me by two years. That's why she came here first."
"I thought you guys came together," I say when she pauses.
"No," she whispers. "She came first." Ying pauses and looks straight ahead, though she doesn't seem to be seeing the village anymore. Instead, she looks as if she is somewhere else completely. I have a feeling the "general information" part of our lesson is over.
"Xue and I grew up together. We lived in the same village, and we loved each other like sisters. We still do. I was always the more eccentric one, the spitfire. I had an opinion and wasn't afraid to let you know what it was. And if one of the boys started talking trash about me, well I was always more than ready to fight him. Xue, on the other hand, behaved a little more lady-like, though still spoke her mind at points. Still, I was always the rebellious little spitfire, and she was the well-behaved lady. That's why everyone was so shocked when on the night of her sixteenth birthday, she vanished."
I gasp and Ying's forehead crinkles in concentration, like she is trying very hard to recall the story correctly.
"Her room was in perfect order, the only things that were missing were some of her personal treasures and a few sets of clothes. Some food was missing from the pantry, too. Everyone decided she had run away, though had no idea why. When they asked me if I knew where she was, I was as clueless as they were. My father and her father along with a small search party set out to look for her. When all they found was her dress floating in a nearby river, they figured she had drowned and called the search to a close. We mourned for a little, but she was just a woman, and her father had many sons, so there was no need to make such a big deal over it," she states with bitter sarcasm.
"I took it the worst, but I kept it to myself. Everyone moved on so quickly, they expected me to too.
Then, about a year later, I was getting water from this well just outside of the village. I bent down to pull up the bucket, and, when I looked up, she was there. At first, I thought she was a ghost or something, so I tossed the bucket of water at her." Ying chuckles fondly, and I smile too. "When I realized that it was really her, that she was alive, I threw myself at her so hard we both went tumbling into the mud. When I was finally able to compose myself, she told me everything. She told me that the day she ran away, she had heard her parents discussing arranging a marriage for her. I mean, as women, we all know it's coming, we all know that once we turn sixteen, we're getting auctioned off to the highest bidder. But, when that day finally comes, it's like- it's like-"
"It's like it finally becomes real." I finish. Ying nods. "I know. I've already been through that. My mother used to say that I acted like getting married was the end of the world, but for me, it kind of felt like it was. It would be the end of any sort of freedom I had at least."
"That's exactly how Xue felt. When she realized how soon that day was approaching, when she realized how unprepared she was, she just wanted to escape. When we were younger, her friend Huang, the one who sends us messages, moved to the Imperial City with his family. They still exchanged letters regularly though, as Huang had previously taught both of us how to read and write. He told Xue about a small village called Bìfēnggǎng. He said that it was a refuge of some sort for people looking to escape. Xue realized that that was just what she needed. She wanted to bring me, but she wasn't even sure if the place even existed, and she wasn't about to take her little fourteen-year-old cousin along on a wild trek through the mountains. When she had gotten out of the village, she had thrown the extra clothes she had brought into the river, hoping that if anyone tried to find her, they would see the clothes and think she had died.
Anyway, she had found the village, and she was happy. She told me these stories that sounded too good to be true. She told me how kind everyone was, how accepting the place was. She told me that she came back because she wanted to take me there with her."
Ying's face, which was previously happy and animated, now becomes sad.
"I was too afraid though. I had never even left my village, and going would mean leaving everything I knew behind. At least, that's what I told Xue back then. In truth, I didn't want to leave and have everyone just…move on. I didn't want to become like Xue, forgotten and pushed to the side. The family never even mentioned her. It was like she had never existed. It didn't make sense, but I wanted to know I'd be missed, but I was too afraid that wouldn't be the case.
Xue said she understood, but, before she left, she gave me a map which showed how to find this place, in case I changed my mind. I kept the map hidden away under the one floorboard in my room and didn't touch it for the next year. Then, my sixteenth birthday came along, marriage was mentioned, and suddenly I was as trapped as Xue had been. That night, I took the map, some of my personal things, some food, and ran for the hills.
I still remember that feeling I had when I left. I was so afraid of being caught. I ran until I reached the woods about a mile away from my village, and I hid in a small cave and cried until morning came. I tried to read the map the best I could, but it wasn't a skill someone had ever taught me. Xue had explained it briefly when she first gave it to me, but that was a year ago. I traveled for three weeks before I reached the woods that surround Bìfēnggǎng.
That was when the rainstorm came. It poured harder than I had ever seen it rain. Buckets and buckets of rain fell, and the wind blew as if a tornado had touched down. I was blinded, stumbling aimlessly through the woods, tripping over roots and slipping in mud. I took a step, and suddenly, I was swept up into a river I had stumbled into. It was flooded, the water deep and dark. I was pulled under, violently swept along with the current. I thought that was the end. I thought I was going to die. But, just as I lost consciousness, I felt a pair of arms around me, pulling me towards the surface. Then, everything went black.
When I woke up in a cave, the sun was shining and everything was calm. At first, I thought I had imagined everything, but then I noticed the blanket wrapped around me. Whoever had saved me was long gone. I got up, found my bearings, and made it into the village after only a few hours of wandering through the damp woods. Liu showed me the way to the tavern, and I made it to Xue half dead and wet."
"Did you ever find out who saved you?" I ask.
"Nope, but whoever it was, I am forever thankful. They did more than save my life; they showed me what I wanted to do with it"
"What do you mean?"
Ying shakes her head thoughtfully. "To this day, I still remember how desperately alone I felt when I ran away. Every night of my travels, I would cry myself to sleep, terrified and lonely. When that person saved me, even though they had no idea who I was, it made me realize that we are never truly alone in this game we call life. I decided that I wanted to be that person who made it known to someone else that they aren't alone. That's why all new arrivals are sent to the tavern. Xue says I'm good with people, I relate easily to them. I make them feel safe, and they trust me." She turns to me. "Or, at least, I hope that's how they feel?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
"More than you know," I answer, smiling.
"Mulan, when you are finished in the Imperial City, will you come visit us?"
I frown. "I would love to, but the chances of me getting out…"
"Don't you have a plan?" Ying pries, worried.
"It should be easy enough to get in. There will be many people and the cloak will conceal my identity…"
"And…getting out?" I stare at the ground, not answering. "Mulan?"
"Ying, the only way I'm leaving that city is if I am somehow pardoned for my crimes and released by the Emperor himself," I state quietly.
"What do you mean? Once you deliver your message, you could run, come back here. No one will find you and-"
"Ying, remember what I said before? If I run away, the Emperor is going to send people after me, and the first place they will look is my father's house. I can't do that to my family, Ying! Besides, I'm a soldier. I don't plan on delivering bad news and then getting out of there before things get messy. I plan on fighting for my country until I either die or am physically restrained by the guards!"
"But…if you die…" Ying tries to protest weakly.
"I'm not afraid of death, Ying. Besides, I've cheated it a lot these past few years, maybe this is the time it actually catches up to me."
We say no more on the subject.
Finally, we reach the area from where I entered the village. I take the black cloak and put it on, leaving the hood down for the time being.
"Alright, if you follow this road," Ying states, pointing in the direction of the road that I know lays beyond the brush and trees, "you will find a fork in the path. Take the right path, it will take you North. If you leave now, you should be able to make it to the Imperial City by nightfall."
"Thank you, Ying, for everything," I state, giving her a parting smile before turning to mount Khan.
"Wait, there is one more thing."
I turn and watch as Ying takes something from around her neck and places it around mine. It is a simple necklace, the cord made out of a thin strip of black leather, with a simple wooden pendant that is carved into the shape of a single Chinese character. I smile at the necklace's meaning. The character means "hope".
"Hope," Ying states. "It can be very hard to find, yet easily lost." She looks at me, her dark brown eyes almost pleading. "As long as you can hold on to hope, there is nothing that can't be done."
I hold the pendent carefully with two of my fingers before looking at Ying, nodding.
"Thank you, I will cherish it for the rest of my life."
Ying throws her arms around me, and I do the same, holding her tight.
"Please, Mulan, please be careful!"
"I'll do my best, Ying."
Finally, Ying releases me, and I mount Kahn. Giving Ying one final smile, I pull on Kahn's reins, and he begins to navigate through the brush towards the road. I don't look back, but I hear a voice behind me.
"Ying, who was that?" a young seemingly male voice asks.
"That," Ying replies, "is China's last hope."
