A/N: The fastest I have ever written a chapter. It came to me today.
Paul's POV
The palpitations were only growing stronger as I followed Zara down to the living room where her dad was waiting for us to go shopping. She was going to tell him! It was happening all too quickly that I was still trying to pull myself together. Also, if we thought this idea was crazy, then he would think we it was insane. Maybe I would get killed before I ever got the chance to marry Zara.
Everything seemed to slow down, and there was that thumping in my ears that had never really gone away. My hands wouldn't stay still, so I had to shove them into the pockets of my jeans just to control the shaking.
Zara was leading the way, and I watched as Arjun looked up from his tablet at the sound of footsteps. He nodded. "Are you two ready to go?"
There was a shaky breath then before I felt Zara bump into my chest as she subconsciously took a step back. "D-dad," she began.
My hands from instinct came to hold Zara, and it was then that I realised she was shaking worse than me.
Arjun looked puzzled as his eyes moved from his daughter to me and then back again.
"D-dad we…want to…" Zara tried again.
It was then that to my surprise; a smile appeared on Arjun's face. He looked amused as he clicked the off button on his tablet and the bright screen turned black. "I knew this would happen eventually," he sighed then before putting his device onto the couch. "Come sit."
Zara appeared less anxious now that her dad's reaction wasn't as bad as she was imagining. I, on the other hand, was still on guard and a little suspicious if I was honest because Arjun was handling this all too calmly. Zara plopped herself onto the couch opposite her dad, and I joined her but I felt like I was still in danger so I sat on the edge as if I would have to run at any moment.
"You two are not getting married," Arjun announced.
It was instant, but Zara was taken aback. She moved forward to join me on the edge of the couch but for different reasons. "Dad," she protested.
Arjun just held up his hands. "Let me finish," he advised and Zara despite being worked up still listened, "You're not ready for such as big commitment and you're far too young."
Zara launched into her case. "But dad, you married mum when you both graduated from uni."
There was a second where Arjun went away somewhere else. It was almost as if he remembered the moment in question. The look in his eyes became soft, and it was the first time that I had seen such a goofy smile on his face. I didn't know how to react. It was surprising to me to see first-hand how in love Arjun was because it seemed to be on par with the shapeshifting effect. Catching a sideways glance and Zara, I could see her practically melting at her dad's reaction that she appeared to lose her fight.
Arjun quickly shook himself free from his thoughts and turned back to the pair of us. He was smiling but serious. "That's is true my lovely daughter so you and Paul will just have to wait until then," he told us, "If you still like each other, then you have my blessing."
Arjun's eyes turned square on me, and I shifted back a little. He surprisingly had the same commanding look that Sam had, and I wondered he was silently trying to dominate me. I tried not to blink and hold Arjun's gaze for some reason.
"I will still like your daughter then," I blurted out, unable to function under the strange alpha male feeling which belonged to a human.
Arjun pretended then that he was covering up a cough as he brought his hand to his mouth, pushing back a laugh. "Trust me, I know," he said, and I could hear the humour in his voice. Slowly though Arjun's face turned serious again before he continued, "Don't misunderstand, Paul. I'm not saying this because I don't want you to marry Zara. I'm all for it but just at the right time."
I let out the breath that I had been holding and managed to nod.
Arjun couldn't help but grin then. "I leave you alone with my daughter for less than 15 minutes, and you're already proposing," he teased, "I knew I should have gone up to get her myself."
I couldn't react as I was stuck in shock. It was because if my memory wasn't failing me, this was the first time that Arjun had ever joked around with me. It reminded me of how Zara was with me, and I wondered then if she had taken after her dad.
Zara responded before I could. "But Dad, that's years away," She protested weakly now as she knew that she was losing her case, "I honestly understand that we are young, but I feel like Paul, and I can do it."
Arjun was patient with her though. "Zara, I do not doubt your maturity but listen to my advice. People change from their teens to their early twenties; their personalities can or the way they think. You can grow apart because of it." Arjun then motioned for her to come over and Zara moved to join him on the same couch. He took her hands into his, "You also need to develop yourself first," he added, "You and Paul need to find yourselves and be two solid individuals before you even think about becoming a married couple. It's not about this 'you complete me' nonsense."
Arjun's speech defeated Zara because she knew that he was right. Arjun was sympathetic as he drew her into a hug. "Yes, I know I'm spoiling your whirlwind romance, "He teased, "You can let out your teenage angst on my shoulder."
I watched as Zara smiled despite herself and hit Arjun's shoulder although she didn't move from his arms. "I love you," she said out of the blue.
Arjun held her tighter, "I'm glad," he whispered, "I love you too."
It was then that Alia entered the living room and stopped short when she saw us all. "Did I miss something?" she asked before joking, "The last time I checked we were just going shopping."
Arjun took the opportunity to fill her in. "I'm doing my best to stop Paul from stealing our daughter. He has already proposed to her."
Immediately Alia's eyes went round as her head snapped in my direction.
I shifted back on the couch, but that was more because of the enthusiasm. It was radiating off of Alia that I could practically feel it.
Zara was cunning because her next words were. "Yes, mum. Dad thinks it's too soon, but don't you think it's a good idea to get married."
Arjun pretended to be offended by Zara's sly nature.
It was then that Alia smiled apologetically at her daughter. "I can see why you would think that I'm your best bet," she highlighted, "But I have to agree with your dad on this one."
Zara just shrugged. "You can't blame me for trying."
It was then that they all started laughing, and although I wanted to join in, I found myself being stunned for a second. It was because I was experiencing a sudden realisation as I watched them that I wanted to be a part of Zara's family.
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Fall
Goodbyes were never easy, as they are filled with such a mixture of feelings, so no wonder there are so many songs written about the experience. The leaves were turning the characteristic orange of fall or 'autumn' as Zara said, and the hot weather had cooled off. The day had finally arrived. The one where Zara had to leave so here we all were outside Emily's place.
Zara was saying goodbye to the gang. Emily and Kim were in tears, and even the guys were sad, although they were trying to hide it.
"I can't believe this is happening," Kim stated.
Zara was wiping away the tear tracks on her face. "I know, but I'll be back, I swear."
"You could always propose to her to get her to stay," Embry teased then, trying to lighten the mood.
It was now that I looked at Embry, Jacob and Sam. They had been merciless in their jokes about me proposing, and any time one of them had to leave for somewhere they would end up 'proposing' to each other. Even though they had overused the joke, I didn't get annoyed this time: I let it go because we needed it right now. Emily gave Zara one more final squeezing hug before she let go. Zara continued to linger, and it looked like she was trying to delay the inevitable.
It fell on me to give her the final push. "We should get going," I told her.
Zara pressed her lips together and nodded as she tried to stop herself from crying any more. I pulled her under my arm and walked her to her car. I opened the passenger door for her so she could sit. Arjun had decided that it was best for me to drive Zara's car and for them to follow behind with all her stuff.
With a few final waves and shouts from the guys to encourage Zara, we were off. It was as soon as we rounded the corner, and Emily's house was out of sight that Zara broke down again.
The car ride wasn't long, but Zara had passed out, and I had a feeling it was because she had barely slept the last night. It was in the quiet and over the hum of the engine that I found myself having time to think. This was it. I was going to be dropping her off and leaving without her. It was the first time since we had known each other, which was now a year plus, that we were going our separate ways. There was a cold sweat that ran down my back at the thought. Maybe Arjun had been right. Perhaps we needed time a part, so we didn't become co-dependent…though that was a little easier said than done when you had to contend with imprinting.
Everyday life without her though…and for a few years as well.
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Washington.
We had arrived outside the campus, but Zara was still clinging onto me in the car. She was crying, and I was trying my best to console her. Her parents had given us some privacy to say our final goodbyes. It was probably the first time since I was a kid that I thought I was going to cry, and it was terrifying. I never cried yet right now, I could feel the water in my eyes, but I forced myself to blink them away because I had to be the strong one.
"It's okay," I said although my words felt empty and just not good enough for the situation. I settled for kissing Zara instead it was the only way I could expressing anything right now. It was awkward as the console separated us as I still sat in the driver seat and she in the passenger seat. However, we soldiered through, and I made sure to give Zara the best kiss she had ever had as my hands held her face hard, and my fingers moved into her hair. I could taste the salt of her tears, but it didn't matter. I was going to miss her lips and her hands because they had been a constant in my life. They were what she used to cheer me up or calm me down or hug me. Eventually, Zara had to pull away when I would stop. She was breathless and did sigh out that 'she was going to miss this'.
I didn't want her to go just yet, so I pressed my forehead to hers. "I love you," I told her, but it just didn't feel strong enough, to sum up, everything that we had.
She held onto me tighter. "I love you too."
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The car ride back to La Push was quiet, and the world outside had turned black as the sun had set a long time ago. There had been more tears from Zara as Fabien had started crying. The poor little guy had worked himself so much that he was now sleeping in the backseat. I was also here while Alia sat in the passenger seat and Arjun drove. I had my head resting against the car door as I was completely drained. The imprinting was acting up, and although there was this ache in my chest, it was nothing compared to the time when Zara had left for London. I knew that I would see her again, and she wasn't that far away. Yet I was still sinking into a slight depression because I was already missing her and the idea that this could go on for months at a time seemed overwhelming. I was also tired of not only the emotions of the day but barely sleeping myself last night.
I felt eyes on me again, which had been happening quite often during the car ride. This time I decided to face it because maybe then it would stop. I only managed to glance up. It was Arjun looking at me from the rear-view mirror. I didn't seem to have the energy even to react, so I just looked away again. I wondered what he wanted to say but decided that sleep was more important. Everything slowly went black as I gave into rest.
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"Paul, Paul," I heard my name being called. It felt distant, and for a split second, I thought it was Zara. This idea was dashed when I registered that it was not a girls voice and that she was not here with me.
Opening my eyes, I came face to face with Arjun standing by the open passenger door. It was then that I registered the right side of my face feeling hot against the leather seat.
"We're back home," he told me then.
I ran a hand over my face to wake myself up. "Ah, right…cool."
I turned to look around the car but realised that it was empty. It was just me left.
Arjun answered before I had a chance to ask. "I dropped them off first to give you a little more time to sleep."
I nodded. "Thanks," I said, hoping that it sounded sincere as I climbed out of the car and shut the door.
"Listen," Arjun started then before I could get far, "I know you're taking it hard, and that's fine, but it gets better with time."
I wish Arjun's words could convince both me and my inner shapeshifter, but neither of us seemed to be convinced.
Arjun appeared to notice and scratched the back of his head. "There's not much I can add to that…" he admitted as his voice trailed off into silence.
In response, I managed a weak smile. "It's fine." I then turned away to leave as I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and mope around for a day or two.
"Hey," I heard Arjun called then, and it made me turn back with my eyebrows raised.
"I can't say that I'm good at this, "Arjun started then as he stood awkwardly with his arms open. "But I think you need one."
I didn't move. I was stuck between not knowing what to do as I'd never properly hugged another guy before. Sure, with Jared, Jacob and Embry we would give each other 'man hugs' which often involved slapping each other's backs to make it more manly. However, this situation was something different. This was a grown man. This was Arjun offering. We had never done this before, and it was not like I had a dad ever to experience it.
My hesitation made Arjun laugh a little, and he surprisingly became less awkward. "Come on there's no shame in it. It doesn't make you any less of a guy."
It was then that I felt it again—the slow raising of water in my eyes that I made sure to blink hard to wipe away. Arjun's words seemed to give me permission to accept how I was currently feeling. I no longer had to be strong for Zara because she wasn't here to see me. I could admit that I was sad.
There was another answering laugh then that was mixed with a sigh, and the next thing I knew, I was pulled into a hug.
"This is more like man-handling but needs must," I heard Arjun joke as an arm came around my shoulders.
At first, I froze, mostly stuck in shock. However, because Arjun just stood quietly and didn't say anything, I felt less awkward when I realised that we wouldn't have to speak. There wasn't a need for me to find something to say. He just stood there, hugging me. Slowly I relaxed into it, and I could admit to myself that it felt nice. I wouldn't say it aloud, but I felt…secure, safe even. My arms on their own came around Arjun's upper back as I found it within myself to hug him back.
Arjun ruffled my hair then. "It will be alright,…son."
It was that one simple word that I finally broke. My tears escaped as I could no longer blink away the raising water.
"It's alright," Arjun repeated as he held me closer.
It felt like…Acceptance.
A/N: Damn the piano instrumentals that inspired me and turned the whole chapter emotional.
