Illusion is Reality
Chapter 135
-The friends ya made along the way-
We finished our camping trip without any other issues popping up. I was still trying to ignore the fact that I just created a minion.
But we packed up and I brought everyone home, feeling pretty good despite everything.
"Can I dig up bog bodies now?" Ammy tugged on my leg. Oh right. I did promise. "Alright. But after that, we're gonna go to the candy dimension so I can get some sweets and forget about how gross the bog bodies were."
"I have no objections to that." Ammy nodded. Everyone else just groaned when I asked if they wanted to come along. Xanthar shuddered at the idea of wading through muck to find dead bodies. "I know, you don't want to see that. Do you wanna go to Iznang instead?" He nodded and I sent him off. Huh, I wonder how Queen and Eclipsa were doing?
Well, with how odd time works in that dimension, it probably hasn't been too long since I last saw them. Oh, I would like to see Meteora again. Sweet baby. So cute.
Well shoot, now I was thinking about the situation in Mewni and the ongoing racist war...
Eh, I guess I should go see Glossy at some point anyway. And maybe interfere in the war, not to fight or anything, but if the fighting was over land and territory, then maybe I could make more Islands for people to go live in instead. Something to use as yet more experimentation for a solution.
...I had way too much on my list. Oof. Just got off my vacation and it was right back to work for me. Can it even be called work since it was no more than me sticking my angles into other people's business? (Anyway, just need to add checking on the war in Mewni to my To-Do list. I sure hope I don't forget about it...)
Uh… I should meet up with Tina to update her on some stuff too. (Was still debating if I should tell her the truth about who I was…)
But all that stuff is for later. Right now, bog bodies!
...I am so glad I don't have a nose as a triangle.
Neither does Ammy, which would be why he was waist (if you could call it a waist, three blocks was sort of waist-like at his current configuration) deep in the muck, poking around with a pole.
So far he'd dug out three bodies. Preserved quite well, if extremely gross. As disgusted as I was, I couldn't help my morbid fascination. They were discolored, the bright green scales had dulled into a yucky looking olive. Skin pulled taut against their skeletal structure as they were essentially mummified over the years. Could even make out the uniform of which army the poor corpses were part of. "So they're all soldiers?" Ammy asked, jabbing the pole around to search for more.
"Yeah."
"What was the war about?"
...what was the war about? It was something of a confusing mess of reasons. "Someone killed a citizen of one country while they were on vacation in another country. It violated a no-violence law for protecting travelers. The other country demanded compensation for the death of one of their citizens, but the country refused, on the grounds that she was killed by someone from her own country and the fact that the murder happened on their soil was irrelevant because they did nothing wrong and the other country should focus on the actual murderer instead." I flickered a few times to try and see more context.
"But the murderer committed suicide after the deed and therefore the other country couldn't get compensation from him. So they demanded for the country to pay them the 'violation of peace' fee in his place. Well the country said 'No!' because they claimed it was unfair and stupid." I was getting more annoyed as I Looked.
"So the other country threatened to go to war because of the refusal to uphold the laws. The country called them on their bluff and said 'sure, lets go to war then.' but instead of backing off, the other country doubled down and actually declared war. And then they mobilized their army and marched out." I rubbed my head. That was so stupid.
"And how many people died?" Ammy asked, heaving out another body from the muck to toss on his growing pile.
"The ones from the fighting, the ones from the travel through hazardous environments, the ones from starvation, the ones from illness or all the other miscellaneous reasons for people dying during and as a result of this whole mess?" I groaned.
"A lot of people." Ammy paused to turn and glance at me. "Which side won?"
"Neither. They were pretty evenly matched and the body count kept going up, so they declared a truce. And they just gave up fighting the war because it got too expensive."
"So all this began because one person died. And they responded by making hundreds more people die, and no one got paid in the end. They just lost money and numbers." Ammy blinked. "That sounds stupid."
"It was stupid."
"And how are the countries doing now?"
"Not so good. Financial issues. Lots of other issues. The Federation didn't want to deal with it either so they stayed out of it. The war was years ago but the effects are still felt. Debt and loss of life, no one's really all that happy with the outcome. Nothing was accomplished except killing the population, crippling the workforce, putting both countries in debt… the continued tension between the countries..." I shook myself. "It's all sorts of stupid."
"Well." Ammy blinked. "At least they left bog bodies for me to dig up." He paused. "They didn't try to retrieve their dead?"
"They didn't have magical protections that prevent you from slipping in and becoming a bog body yourself." I shrugged. "And technological development was put towards weapons rather than utilities. Plus it would have been expensive for them to try and dig up the bodies themselves."
Ammy was quiet for a while, laying another body down. "It all comes down to money." Was his ultimate assessment. "Is it really so important?"
"Unfortunately yes. They built their entire way of life around it. Which is a pretty common model for places, even though it doesn't work." I complained. "The barter system was fine, it worked and it was sustainable. But then people started assigning value to numbers and the idea of money as the item to be barters rather than actual physical goods, that eventually became known as Credits that exist digitally. And since it's no longer a physical object to be owned and traded, people could amass a huge storage of Credits and limit how much is allowed out into circulation." which meant the rich could save up and become richer while the poor had to constantly spend in order to survive, with their Credits ending up in the pockets of the rich, repeating the cycle all over again.
"But there are some planets without that system. Jessie's place doesn't have a monetary system. People all get food and shelter as a default, there's no need to pay for it, aside from some labor to help with maintaining the cleanliness of the temple and growing food. She doesn't charge rent, or medical expenses. There is no money system and everything is done in trades of physical work and time as a partial barter system."
"Why don't more places do that, then?"
"Because that only works if the person in charge is a Good person. One who wouldn't use their power and position to oppress those who are under their care. And they also need to be powerful enough to enforce it. Otherwise someone might think they could overthrow her and put themselves in charge. And since Jessie's super strong, no one can go against her in her dimension." There was also the fact that she has the power to expel people for breaking the no violence rules. Threat of expulsion from Dimension 52 was surprisingly effective. "And of course there's the fact that Jessie has ways of knowing if any of her rules were broken, through passive magical surveillance. Which not all people have. So for other people who aren't all knowing Oracles, there could be people breaking rules in secret who go on to mess up more things down the line with corruption, incompetence and selfishness."
Ammy regarded me. "You and aunt Jessie are both powerful." He concluded. "Can't you find or make more Good people powerful in the way aunt Jessie is, so that more people can live like that?"
"I would have to find people who are that good. Which isn't all that common. And even if I did find them and help them set up their own dimensions in the way Jessie does, it wouldn't mean people would go there. I mean, there are people who refuse to go live in Dimension 52 because of the rules. Some because they can't deal with not being allowed to hold power over others, some because they don't want to have to help work with the upkeep of their own lives without getting something in return. And no, they don't count free room and board to be getting something in return." I shrugged. "And there are many more reasons. Reasons that I don't understand but they make sense to those people. Because they're their own reasons. Perhaps they just like the struggle of it. Perhaps they think they're supposed to struggle, that it means they're a better person who earned whatever they have if they did struggle for it. Perhaps they're anti religion and can't understand why anyone would want to live in servitude to the high priestess of the god of Creation and Life. There are all sorts of reasons." I shrugged again. "There's no one answer here. There never really is. Sure, there are broad categories they can fall under, but ultimately it comes down to what that person values and wants out of life."
Ammy processed all this. "And what do you want out of life, mother?"
I have been asked this so many times. What did I want? (Lots of things!) What did I want to do? (Whatever I wanted!) What was my goal? (...)
And I always had the same first reply.
"I don't really know." Because I just didn't really know. "I know what sorts of stuff I want to have." I clarified. "I want you all to be safe and healthy and happy. I want to be loved. I don't want to be alone. I want babies. I want to love others. I want people to stop being mean to each other. I want to create things that can make people happy. I want to have fun. I want to be happy." I listed off. "But I don't really know what I'm doing." I hovered there in the air, clasping my hands together. "I want to fix things. But everything is broken from its very foundations. And I don't actually think Blue's solution would work out. Sure, his plans to make it so people didn't stay dead would stop the senseless death of those who didn't need to die." I gave the pile of bog bodies a long look. "But I don't want people killing each other to begin with. Unfortunately, that's going into Free Will territory, so its not something I can just fix."
"...why do people kill others?" Ammy asked next, going back to digging.
"All sorts of reasons. They get mad. They get sad. They get desperate. You name it, and someone's probably killed for it. Hell, I've killed for a bunch of reasons."
Ammy thought about that as he laid another body beside the others. "So killing itself is something you don't want to have happen?"
"Nah, killing isn't bad in and of itself. I just have issues with people in power sending people to fight and die and sacrifice what those in power aren't willing to give up themselves. I don't like people who can't defend themselves being killed or dying from things that could have been prevented. I'm tired of wars." I huffed. "A leader rides into battle at the head of the charge, that's how it's supposed to go." I pointed at the bodies. "When those who want the war are also expected to fight in it, on the front lines, the danger inherent in being there makes them more likely to make strategy calls that aren't just 'send more troops to die' since they themselves are part of those troops."
"But if the leader dies, then who will run their country?" Ammy asked.
"Yeah, that is an issue." I shrugged. "Alternatively, they could just NOT go to war and just work it out through peaceful negotiation. But that's not always something people agree with." Nor was it always an option, when the situation was desperate enough. "I'd like for people to be able to put aside their grievances with each other and just get along, but that isn't easy."
"And you don't have the patience to handle people so you can't be the one to get them to talk it out with each other." Ammy pointed out. I chuckled. "Yeah, there's that too."
I watched him lay more bodies out. "What are you planning to do with those?"
Ammy paused. "I want to know who they were."
I froze. "That…"
"If you're uncomfortable with looking that up, I do not mind learning it myself." Ammy told me, to my relief. Bad enough they were all sent off to die in a pointless war, and had died before even reaching the battlefield because a high ranking officer thought going through the swamps would be more sneaky, I didn't want to know their stories. The families they left behind, their aspirations for the future that were so cruelly taken from them. I didn't want to know any of that.t. It was too sad. "Yeah, have fun with that yourself."
He nodded, solemnly going back to his digging. "Unearthing them is mildly registering as entertainment." he admitted. "But now that I see them all, and know the context behind how they got here, I want to know who they were."
"...why?" I finally looked directly at one of them. The darkened skin, the way it tightly pulled against their skeletal structure. It was just so… creepy. The worse part was how I could still see all their features and expressions. Many of them had their mouths open in a desperate scream, faces twisted into panic.
Bogs were dangerous, but they didn't actually suck people in. No, the thing that makes people sink further inside is movement. Panicked thrashing would only make you sink faster. And then it was just a matter of how far down you've been pulled and how exhausted you were from struggling. Once you ran out of strength you were pretty much screwed. The thick, seeping cold and the acidity start to really set in and if no one rescued you… I shuddered.
I remembered suddenly, a little thing that happened back when I was a human child.
I was walking along a river and having fun splashing against the mucky sand and dirt. And then I sank in, the wet sand enveloping me nearly up to my knees. And of course I panicked. Luckily I was with a group of other kids and our chaperones on this little field trip. They pulled me out, but my shoes had been left behind. I remember being terrified of it all. I hated being without my shoes outside. The ground was so awful. Couldn't stand touching it for long periods of time.
I shook my head. That and this weren't the same. Besides, I could float now. No danger of falling in. Didn't have to touch the ground anymore either.
But looking at these corpses… I couldn't help but imagine how scared they must have been.
I looked away again, not wanting to see them. I was also tightly holding onto my energy, not allowing any Weirdness to seep out.
The last thing I wanted was for my fucked up powers to try their hand at reanimating those creepy things.
"When will you be done?" I asked, rubbing my arms as I curled in on myself. Ammy paused in his digging. He regarded me for a while. "Are you afraid?"
"...a little."
"Would you like to leave for a while?"
"I'm not leaving you alone here."
"I'll be fine. You've put protections on me."
"I'm not taking any risks." I glanced back over to Ammy, careful not to look at the corpses. "I have to be here in case anything happens." Heck, what if there were curses around the bog due to how many died here? (I actually knew this wasn't the case, since I felt no presence of magic here. The dead were dead and there was nothing here at all. And somehow, that actually made it all the scarier for me.)
Ammy looked at the bodies. "I'm done for today." he poked one of them. "Do you have something I can store them in? Since you don't want me using my blocks for this?"
I waved a hand and made a box. Larger on the inside, of course. "You can put the box in your blocks after you put the bog bodies away." Sub-space within a sub-space? Of course I figured out how to do it without creating a tear in space-time. It was too useful not to do so.
I heard the thumping sounds of Ammy putting the bodies away before there was a faint sliding sound of Ammy putting the box away. "I am finished, mother."
"Oh thank void. Well, do you want to go home now?"
"We were going to go somewhere you wished to go, remember?" He reminded me.
"Oh!" I blinked. Yes, that was something I wanted to do. "Um… wanna come to the sweets and pastries dimension with me?"
"Of course." He smiled, floating closer. I looked down at the muck around us. "After we both take a bath."
After a hot shower and lots of soap, Ammy and I continued our mother/son bonding trip to the next stop, the sweets and pastries dimension.
...damn I loved this place.
"Anything the light touches… is edible." I spread my arms out reverently.
"Even us?" Ammy asked.
"Yes, even us." I nodded like a sage imparting my wisdom. Ammy floated closer to me. "Please don't try eating me. I'm not easy to digest and it would upset your stomach block."
Ammy raised his hand and stared at it.
"Please don't try to eat yourself either."
He lowered his hand.
"But seriously, the people here are really into getting eaten. It's pretty messed up." I shuddered. "But Pyronica's not really into sugar, so she couldn't really have fun here that one time I brought her here."
"I have not been here before. At what point did you bring Pyronica and not the rest of us?"
"It was a long time ago, I don't think you were born yet." I blinked. "And I just never got around to bringing everyone here since then." which should be rectified. "Anyway, I'm not big on eating people while they're still alive. But the plants and soil are all sweets too. So we don't even have to kill any animals or people." I floated down and dug my hand into the soil, which was just cake. The whole planet was essentially a cake.
Everything was cake.
"Hm…" Ammy broke a piece off a nearby rock. There were many other broken parts and dug up earth around us from the previous times someone came by to eat the planet. The planet heals over time so the cake grows back, for lack of a better way to put it. Utterly fascinating. And delicious.
I glanced around, no one around, I Blinked us into a less populated area for a reason. I shifted into William so I could properly taste the cakes. I floated above the fluffy ground and put the handful of cake in my mouth. Mmmm~ it wasn't chocolate, but it was similar… didn't taste like the non-chocolate chocolate either. A different sort of flavor. I think the natives still called this 'chocolate cake' but atomically speaking, the structure was different, as was the taste.
"You enjoy being here?" Ammy asked, sticking more of the environment into his stomach blocks.
"Food!" I replied as I chewed on a tree branch. "I prefer savory over sweet, but sometimes it's nice to just indulge." I wiggled as the warm churning built up in my belly. Gosh I was such a glutton. Eating yummy foods made me happy, ok? Ammy watched me eat and let out a sound that was almost like laughter. "Are you feeling better?"
I chewed and swallowed the candy mint leaves. "A little." I admitted.
"That's good." Ammy floated over and leaned against me. "Tell me about the foods you like."
Distraction accepted. "I really like chocolate. Though I can't really eat it anymore unless I'm somewhere safe. But Lee, he's Blue's business partner, made a non-chocolate chocolate cake and it was amazing~"
We spent the rest of the day talking about food, preferences and how we liked things prepared. Ammy didn't really have a sense of taste for flavors, but he loved textures. Hard, squishy, crunchy, sticky- you name a texture and he liked touching it. Sticking his hands all over stuff before ultimately eating them. When he was hungry anyway. I knew he often just touched food without planning to eat them. That was fine, I used to play with food when I was a human child. And I had a thing for textures too. If food didn't have a texture I liked, I refused to eat it. It took many years for me to stop being so picky. Mainly the starvation. Kinda hard to continue being picky when I was hungry as shit.
The sun was setting and I was patting my belly, burning inside from digestion. "Oof. I think I overdid it…" I slumped over in midair with a groan. Beside me, Ammy's blocks were glowing in all sorts of colors, his method of energy released from digestion. "Well, are we bringing some back for the others?"
"Of course!" I rolled over and waved my hand at the landscape, carving and cutting out little blocks of cake to bring home. The cold mountaintops had ice cream I was scooping up too. I absently plucked some chorries from a nearby tree to teleport to the pantry. Hey, free ingredients. "So, do you want to head home now?" I asked.
Ammy was plucking some grass, gathering a pile in his hand. "Sure."
He stored the grass away in a block before curling his hand around mine. I squeezed gently and he paused before squeezing back. We got home and everyone feasted on sugary substances until we all passed out. We spent a few more days relaxing, but I was getting antsy and wanted to get back to work.
I checked up on the fake Uglith to make sure everything was going smoothly (it was), and asked my producers about modifications to the Maze of Knowledge. Completely reworking the place in preparation for the new season was actually kind of fun. I also set up a few hundred thousand normal libraries on a bunch of planets where people could go in and read whatever information they wanted (I even had comics, audiobooks, visual text animation versions of books and VR-type mental interface reading hardware) and there were even rooms where they could stay and sleep and live in (the place was being run and tended to by more Care Units) because I wanted to set up safe spaces where people could go if they needed to. And I set up those libraries as Miz, buying out the land and constructing them with a mixture of my powers and physical labor from a construction crew I hired. I made sure that Bill and Miz were both doing different things at the same time in different locations, with plenty of eye witnesses, because I didn't want people thinking we were the same person. But I got a text from Tina asking about my relationship with Bill Cipher and I just groaned and sent back [It's not that important. Shouldn't you be studying for your law degree?], before heading back home. I was pretty exhausted from all the power I tossed around to construct everything (as well as creating all those Care Units). Binging on food the other day helped. It was as I floated around the living room, absently tidying up, that I noticed something behind the couch. Huh, did something get stuck back there?
I moved the piece of furniture and blinked at what I found.
A… robot?
I picked it up and turned it over in my hands. "Hey~ did any of you guys lose a robot?"
"Huh?" Teeth looked away from where he was practicing some lines (oh Lilie was here too. Looks like they were rehearsing together). "Whoa. I didn't know we had a robot?"
I Flickered. "Oh." I blushed a faint orange. Well that was too much information. I turned and projected my voice through the halls. "Hectorgon~ you left your s- erm… intimate companionship robot lying out in the living room!"
There was a rapid thumping as Hectorgon bounced quickly into the room. "Thanks! I, ah, misplaced it."
"No prob. Have fun." I mimed a cough, looking away.
"It's not what it looks like." Hectorgon sighed. I waved my hands. "I'm not saying anything. Nor judging. I mean, you do you, dude."
"No, I'm serious." Hectorgon adjusted his hat, which had almost fallen off while he ran over here. "I'm working on something, this is for my project." He began hopping back to his room before pausing. "Actually, can I have your help with something?"
...okay?
I followed him back to his room, hearing a cheerful "Welcome back creator!" from his computer as the little AIs (Youmans) he created waved at us. Oh! That's what Hectorgon meant by being a father again! I totally forgot I told him those little people were his kids now. I confess, I haven't really paid much attention to his work on them. I was still a little disturbed at their existence. As wonderful and terrifying to consider as they were.
"So Pnggy wanted a physical body, and expressed a curiosity for… ahem, physical pursuits." Hectorgon explained. On the screen, the digital avatar of the AI, who looked like a cute brunette woman, waved. "I've been scanning the internet to learn more about what living beings do." she gushed.
"...and let me guess, you found a lot of porn?"
She nodded with a wide grin. "Hence the sex-bot?" I gave Hectorgon a long look. He shrugged. "I had it delivered a while ago, and kind of… lost track of it." Hm… it probably got pushed back and forgotten about during packing and unpacking for the camping trip. "Well, I do admit to being curious about how this'll work."
Hectorgon moved to his computer and pulled out a USB cable. "She can travel through this and upload herself into the robot. I just needed you here to keep an eye out to make sure nothing goes wrong with her Mind or Soul during the process."
I should take this time to point out that the sex-bot didn't look like a sex-bot. Not by human standards. It looked like a blocky, angular toy robot. But for shape-based species, I suppose that was what was considered attractive…
Wait.
"Are you going to…" I trailed off. Hectorgon shook his head, "N-no it's not like that!" He was a dark red. "She chose the design for the chassis. She has access to the internet, she looked through the different models and chose this one herself." there was a beeping sound and we both turned to look at the computer where the message [upload complete] was proudly blinking.
The robot stirred and Pnggy sat up. "Oh! Oh this is very strange." she remarked. I floated over to inspect her. "Hm… the 'bot has built in AI to begin with, does that interfere with your own consciousness at all?"
"I do not think so? I do not know yet." she moved her limbs slowly, testing them out. Well, considering this was a 'companion' type robot… the AI within should be something along the lines of…
"Your chassis is quite pretty, can you tell me your model number?" I asked charmingly, mimicking the tone I've heard people use with pick up lines.
Pnggy straightened up and recited "14-YX-3289-001." in a lifeless monotone.
Huh. It was almost cute. I could get info off the robot via romance checks.
Pnggy blinked and gasped. "Oh, that was very odd. It… I don't think I liked that."
"Sorry, just… testing." I hummed. "It looks like the robot's AI is still there and if their commands were triggered, they'll override Pnggy to have control of the body for a moment."
"I do not like that at all." Pnggy frowned. "Well," Hectrogon cleared his throat. "We won't give any more commands that the robot would have to follow. So… ah… you can have fun testing out your new body. Just let me know when you're done and want to return to Cyberspace."
"I would like to not be in the room while you do that." I coughed. "I like watching, but I'm not in the mood for that right now." Also, being in the room with them while they did it wasn't my thing. I needed some distance before I could feel comfortable with that sort of thing.
"...would you be alright with me staying to observe you?" Hectrogon asked her. "I mean, I'm still trying to learn more about you all. Even if I made you, I don't really know what and how you ended up the way you are."
Aaaaand I was out of there.
I hung around Earth for a while after I got more work done. Pyronica was insistent that I take frequent breaks. "The Earth place is where you have fun, right? I don't really get your love for humans, but if they help you relax, you should do it." I'm sure the real reason she was putting that out there was because being around humans on Earth counted as being around people, so my friends didn't have to worry about me being alone somewhere in space or the Nightmare Realm. So I went to check up on Egypt and I will admit, it's been lots of fun. My newest host, a young man named Latif, was always in awe of me. It was somewhat worshipful, but not intense enough to be a problem. I showed myself to him as a triangle and when he showed an interest in the idea, I even showed off my shape shifting. He really liked Xin's dragon form.
In fact he liked sculpting figurines of me.
Gotta admit, that makes a guy feel appreciated.
"How is this?" Latif showed me the latest clay figurine he made. "It's beautiful. You've gotten so much better." I praised. Latif was an artist as well as a scribe, specifically he was working for the Pharaoh. Things like making the decorations for the palace, writing down the spells along the walls for the prosperity and protection of the kingdom… all that good stuff.
"Have you thought about showing your works to your co-workers?" I asked, floating near Latif as he placed the coiled sculpture, which looked almost like some sort of dish/bowl, on the hot stone oven to bake.
"Oh I couldn't!" Latif blushed. "These are wonderful works I've made, but they aren't the sort of thing Hasani would tease me about!"
"Screw what he thinks." I scoffed as I sat on the side of the oven. Latif laughed, the runes I taught Latif to carve into his necklace allowed him to see into the Mindscape so he could interact with me even while awake. "I really like your bowl of me."
"Actually, it's… ah…" Latif scratched his cheek, looking a little bashful. "It's a board." he explained. "I had an idea for using the shapes of your brick scales to make a board game."
"A game~" I perked up, floating over to take a closer look at the sculpture. A coiled snake-like creature with rectangular spaces all along its body. Games huh~?
"Hey!" I grinned at him. "Speaking of games, wanna learn a fun one that you can play with a group of people?"
"Oh, I would love to learn about the games the gods play."
"Well first of all, we're gonna need to make 20 sided dice…"
Hell yes I'm going to teach Latif how to play D&D.
He got really into it too. Got the other Scribes to sit with him for a game night too.
"You make it to the underworld. Anubis is guarding the door. Beside him is a large set of scales. One side is empty, the other contains a feather." Latif narrated as the group made it past the crocodiles.
"I roll to seduce Anubis into letting us pass!" One of the other scribes crowed. Everyone groaned. "Nek, Jabari! Do you sleep with everything that breathes?!"
"I only fuck people who can speak!" Jabari protested. "I do not go after all things-"
"Jabari you donkey fucker, I know you've been sneaking into the stables at night!" one of the others mocked. Jabari gasped in offense before he smirked. "That's funny coming from the man who hasn't spent one night in bed with his wife since the betroth-" the other man punched him in the face.
I cackled as a fist fight broke out. Latif buried his face in his hands. "Don't worry so much, this is perfectly normal for a D&D game." I patted his head. "Somehow I do not believe that." he groaned.
The party managed to get past Anubis and start an orgy in the underworld. I think it was a huge success. Damn horny, kinky Egyptians.
"Heeeey Tina! How're your universal domination plans going~?" I asked after her bodyguards left the room. Kinda nice I was allowed to come over, even if they made me wear this bracer that would paralyze me if I attempted to harm Councilwoman Ainita's precious only daughter. Yeesh. I get that assassins were a problem, but I'm Tina's friend! We've known each other for years!
"It's not domination." Tina deadpanned without looking up from her papers. "Augh, there's so much to read over…" she rubbed her eyes, "I actually need to take a break."
Huh, looks like even Tina takes breaks. I paused as that epiphany went through me. "Right, it's unfair if I only come over to see you for work reasons." I scratched my head. Tina shrugged, pushing away from her desk and stretching. "Speaking of…" she got up and walked over to me, ruffling my hair.
"Nyeh!" I complained.
"I haven't seen you in months! Where have you been?!" Tina huffed. "It almost feels like you've been ignoring me since I confronted your father about you."
"He's not my dad!" I responded before slapping a hand over my mouth. Tina's eyes narrowed. "Oh~? And just who, in question, are you talking about~?" she was smirking at me! At me!
I groaned. "I'm serious. He's not my dad. And Bill's not my mom." I huffed as I fixed my hair. "And yes, I know about your ridiculous theory. It's not true." I huffed. Tina looked even more suspicious. "Then why are you denying it so hard? As if you have something to hide?"
"I have a lot of stuff to hide." I folded my arms. "I'm made of secrets!"
"Really?" she sounded skeptical. "Here I thought you were made of…"
She ruffled my hair again.
"...cute soft fluffiness~" Tina teased.
"Auuuugh!" I batted at her hands. "I am cute, but I'm also deadly!" I puffed out my cheeks. Tina giggled, sitting back on her bed. "Sure you are. But you're harmless to almost everything."
"I ain't harmless to food." I grumbled, sitting beside her and leaning over to press against her side. "And I ain't harmless to people I don't like."
"Well it's a good thing you like me." she teased. I huffed. "Why're you so convinced that Bill and Xin are my parents?"
"The fact that you know their names, and that they were the ones I was referring to as theoretically being your parents, for one thing."
Well shit, yeah. I wasn't doing very good in the whole 'keep this a secret' thing, was I?
I couldn't help it. I let my guard down around her. Since Tina was entirely not a threat, and also Miz's friend. And Miz wasn't as good as Bill in the poker face department.
"Do you even know what it would mean, if more people started hearing and believing your wild theory?" I asked, sliding down more to rest on her lap. Tina began to pet my hair. "Is this because of how Bill Cipher is public enemy number 1?"
"Among other things." I sighed. "The Federation has a habit of targeting the people suspected of being connected to Bill. I can defend myself, but it's still dangerous." I relaxed in her lap, enjoying the feeling of her long fingers running through my hair. "More importantly, I'm worried about what it would mean for you. Or Jessie and everyone else."
"Because we're in contact with you, and you're in contact with Cipher?"
I nodded. "None of you are marked with Bill's sign. So you're not afforded any protections from him. I don't want you getting hurt because of something as stupid as that. And I don't want any negative rumors jeopardizing your ability to run for office."
"I'll be fine. I'm a public figure, I've been working in the offices, building my own reputation."
"You don't understand what a lifetime of propaganda and racism does to people. Bill being a dangerous psychopath is common knowledge." I twisted my hands into the blankets on the bed. "And his ability to get into your head and mess with you is just as well known. You should know why this is such an issue."
Tina thought about it. "Well, I think Cipher isn't actually as bad as everyone says he is."
She continued when I didn't respond. "Despite his reputation, he hasn't done anything nefarious recently. And by recently, I mean in the past few decades. He's shown up now and again, but he hasn't done anything major. It almost…" she frowned. "...almost feels like he's not bothering to do anything. Like he just wants to be left alone in peace…"
"He does." I huffed. "But people keep messing with him first, so he strikes back. Because that's how it works." If someone messed with me, I fuck 'em up. Because that's how it goes.
I admit, I haven't done anything like that in a while, haven't rampaged or gone around twisting people's biology to my whims in ages. Because mommy didn't want me doing so. And I wanted to be better. And because even brother thinks that doing stuff to people without their consent is a bad thing. Which is kinda hypocritical considering all the shit Blue's pulled on people, but I guess he has his own reasons. I just fucked with people because I didn't like them, sometimes. "He's not a good person. And neither am I."
"You're a sweetheart." Tina told me. "And before you say anything, I know you're a bit of a brat sometimes. You're fussy and impatient and you have a short temper." she listed off. I twitched. "You whine and complain in the most passive aggressive way when you're grumpy and it's infuriating sometimes." I twitched again. "What? When has that happened?!"
"You're perfectly sweet when you're happy." Tina told me. "But when you're unhappy, you get all moody and take it out on the people around you." the petting stilled. "Which is something the Oracle has wanted to work on with you, so that wouldn't happen anymore, but you're always popping in and out before she has time to do so."
"Wait." I rolled over onto my back so I could look up at her. "You've been talking with Jessie?"
Tina rolled her eyes. "Of course. Just because I've left Dimension 52 doesn't mean I'm not still a Shrine Maiden." she poked my cheek. "Speaking of, she misses you. Go visit her more. And not just for anime nights."
I twitched. What was it with everyone and wanting me to be with them? I wasn't… really used to that. Being… wanted. No matter how many times people tell me that they like having me around, I just… couldn't bring myself to believe it. But I was trying to. I was trying very hard.
"Are you crying?" Tina gasped. I covered my face. "Not crying, just… overflowing liquid generation. It happens when I think too hard about stuff."
"Do you need me to do anything?"
I shook my head. "I'll be alright, just… give me a moment…" I took a few deep breaths. "I'm a mess."
"Well, I don't know what to say to that." Tina deadpanned. I laughed, wiping my face. "I'm just… trying to understand…" I know Jessie likes Miz. I also know she doesn't like Bill, even if she tolerates him. Wasn't much of an issue, I just made sure I was Miz around her. But it was still a little draining on me sometimes. But if she really missed me so much...
"If I'm such a brat, why do you like me?" I asked bluntly.
Tina blinked. "Well, probably because the way you just stubbornly do whatever you want without any embarrassment over liking what you like, how proud you are of your hobbies and passions, is something I admire." she paused. "I mean, you're really pushy, and you don't really notice boundaries, which can get irritating, but I know you don't mean any harm by it." she poked my nose, making me squeak. "But you do need to learn these things. I know you're a kid-"
"Not a kid!" I huffed.
"Then you have no fall back excuse." Tina placed her hand on my head again. "You're older than me, I know this. But you're not more mature than me. And that's something the Oracle wanted to work on with you."
"..." Okay fine, yes. I knew my maturity level wasn't all that high. Even when I wasn't in 'child' mode. My 'adult' mode was just as childish. The only difference was my stress level. "I'm trying to grow up." I sighed. I did want to be a proper adult, never really felt like one, no matter how old I got. Especially around Fordsie. I liked being babied and pampered for being an adorable child, but I didn't want to be babied by Ford. I wanted to be a grown up around him. Part of it was because we were dating now, and it would be creepy if I was a kid around him.
I've asked Melody how I was supposed to be more grown up, and she told me that maturity was all about life experiences. So I had to do more, experience more. "How do I learn that? That thing you say I need to do?"
Tina blinked, "I mean, you could be a little less pushy about what you want from other people if they say they don't want to do it?" she shrugged. "I know that most of the time, your idea for what to do, like the anime marathons and such, are actually fun and it was nice that you got us to try it out. But not everything is as fun."
"Like what?" I tugged on her shirt.
"Like those times you snuck into my room without asking me first." Tina rolled her eyes. "And you've stopped doing that, which is nice." she trailed a finger along the security bracer I was wearing. "Though I'm not all that happy that you have to wear something like that either."
"It's fine. It's actually less restrictive than this other bracer I have to wear to visit other people." Well, I haven't been able to visit Blue, but that wasn't the point here.
"Well," Tina patted my head again. "Just promise me you'll visit the Oracle sometime soon."
"Sure~"
Tina regarded me closely to see if I was lying to her. I wasn't. But that also didn't mean I wouldn't just forget to visit Jessie anyway just 'cause I'm an idiot. "Well, I didn't get to say this properly before, but I am glad you came to visit me." Tina smiled. "So let's have fun. I got some new paper from Uderfrom-3. I thought you would like them."
"Ooh! The color changing ones that can reflect the joy within oneself?" I'd been meaning to get a hold of some. But I hadn't gotten around to it. Tina laughed at my eager look. "I'm told that if you draw on them, the image becomes happier. I don't know how that works, and I'm not all that good at drawing, but I figured you would enjoy it." Tina reached out to pull open a drawer.
My eyes widened at the iridescent sheet she took out. The thin sheet was the size of two printer-papers connected lengthwise to each other. It glimmered and sparkled as I was lost in the shifting colors along its surface. It was beautiful.
"It's too beautiful for me to mark with my shitty drawings…" I couldn't help but say.
"Your drawings aren't shit, and I got these specifically for you. Now come on, I've got some pens and markers we can use." She slid out another drawer where the colors were all beautifully arranged by color and shade from lightest to dark, and it was glorious. "Is that really for me?" I asked. She nodded.
I couldn't help myself.
I leaped at Tina, wrapping her in a hug. "Thank you Tina!"
She chuckled, peeling me off her side. "Yes, yes. Now let go so we can draw together."
She laid out the iridescent paper and sat down at the desk with me to start putting lines down.
I ended up drawing the cast of Those Little Ponies. It worked with the paper, ok?!
