Welcome back to TBFF! I'm so glad you enjoyed the wedding; it was a delight to write. My thanks go out to mystarlight, Addy White, and riahsparks for reviewing Chapter 56! Please enjoy the latest installment of the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.
*In this chapter, Halendil begins as a 20-year-old elfling, which is about the equivalent of an 8 year old in this story (where age 50 is when elves reach their majority). As he grows, I will do my best to indicate his current age, as more time will pass than normal in this chapter.
ooOoo
To Be Forever Faithful
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 57: The Time of the Elves
20 Years Later…
"There is nothing to report. It has been a very peaceful fortnight." Belegwen concluded as she spoke with Gilhoth, who had just arrived with a new team of wardens to take over the watch on the northern border for the next fortnight.
"Indeed, it has been an uneventful two weeks." Haldir confirmed as he looked down at Belegwen and grinned internally at the messy braids that adorned her lovely silver head. While he or Rumil often did Belegwen's hair, once in a while she felt like doing her own, as she had today. A certain amount of nostalgia came over Haldir every time he saw his hervess wearing her hair thusly, as it reminded him of her earliest days as a warden. How deeply he had desired her then, thinking he would never get the opportunity to marry her!
He had been wrong though. Belegwen had now been his hervess for 20 delightful years, with each one seemingly better than the last. Though they were still newlyweds according to elvish culture, and would be for at least 180 more years, he knew he had been happier in these last few years than he had in the 3,800 he spent as a single ellon. Belegwen and Halendil were both shining lights in his life and he considered them to be the greatest blessings ever bestowed upon him. Orophin had been right; Haldir would have deeply regretted missing the life he now had and was incredibly grateful for his hervess and family.
Over the course of their marriage, the two marchwardens had finagled the schedule so they could serve on the border at the same time, allowing themselves to always be together, even while protecting the city. This had served them both well, as they had engaged in many border skirmishes during the last few years, but neither had been hurt. They were now in tune with one another through their bond and had become adept at using it to help each other fight. Because of this, neither had sustained an injury other than scratches or bruises. The two married elves worked together as one, using their unity to be more powerful and effective fighters and helping one another stay safe at all times. Ensuring their partner would return home to Halendil was of the utmost importance to both of them and to that goal they stayed true.
Now that the War of the Ring was over, many of the dangers that previously lurked outside their borders had disappeared along with the shadow of darkness. Their job had become much easier, though the consequences of this were beginning to show. Upon the destruction of the one ring, the power of Nenya had waned, causing Lady Galadriel to set sail rather abruptly. Now that she had been gone for a few years, the magical power and protection offered by her ring was starting to fade away.
Indeed, the mellyrn on the edge of the forest had already transformed, their gold and silver leaves losing their luster and turning green, like many of the trees grown by the race of men. They even had started to function like the trees of men, shedding their leaves for the winter season and then growing them back every spring.
The lady's departure had also ushered in a large number of elves deciding they too were ready to move to the Undying Lands. With every passing year, more and more of the elves were setting sail, leaving fewer in the city. There were already talks of moving the borders inward, as the number of wardens had dwindled and those who were left were struggling to watch the entire perimeter effectively.
Lord Celeborn seemed content to linger in the land though and so Haldir did as well. He planned to stay until the very end, fulfilling his duty to protect the Lord of Lorien right up until he boarded a ship at the Grey Havens. Belegwen felt the same way. Both marchwardens also uniformly wanted for Halendil to reach his majority before they sailed; they desired for him to have the same expirences they did while growing up in Lothlorien before they left these shores forever.
"Well, if there is nothing left to report, I shall send you on your way. Enjoy your rest marchwardens! Do say hello to Halendil for me!" Gilhoth called out as he started to walk across the talan to address some wardens who were waiting for him.
"Stay safe!" Belegwen called back to him as she took hold of the ladder leading to the ground and made haste towards the forest floor. Haldir followed intuitively, quickly finding his way to the ground and then whistling up to the talan as a signal for the wardens to roll the ladder back up. He then held out his arm for Belegwen to take and together they started the long journey home, much in the same way as they always did.
"My starlight…" He whispered, looking down into her eyes as he used his free hand to gently rub the tops of her fingers, which were grasping his arm. Her smile beamed back up at him in the golden afternoon light. A knowing look adorned her face.
"My sunshine." She replied, having grown just as accustomed to using the names they had given themselves on their wedding night.
It had been a long two weeks of service for them both. While things at the border were easy, their time on the talan together was often a struggle, as they had to refrain from engaging in romantic activities for the sake of propriety during their duty. However, once they left the talan after their two weeks, they immediately transitioned back into the married couple they were, taking care to leave their work behind and focus on one another and their son when they were off duty.
After a fortnight of hardly touching one another, there was always lost time to make up for. Therefore the couple dawdled, letting the other wardens walk further and further ahead until they were out of sight and then out of earshot. While many surely suspected what was happening between the marchwardens, none ever dared to disrespect them by broaching the topic. Instead, they simply left the newlyweds to their devices out in the forest, eager to return to their own families and the peaceful life the city offered.
Once they felt no one could see or hear them, Haldir took Belegwen by the hand and secreted her away from the path to one of their many favorite spots amid the forest. It was there, in a small field of flowers, where he gently laid her down in a patch of wild niphredil and ended up laying down beside her, wrapping his arms around her carefully as he sought to touch her everywhere he could. Their clothing was quickly discarded and their bonding was swift, as both were eager to be close once more.
After holding her against him and savoring the love flowing freely between them through their bond, Haldir got up and dressed quickly so he was ready to head back into Caras Galadhon. Belegwen was much slower though; Haldir watched as she took a painfully long time to button her tunic back up and then laid back down for a couple of minutes before she started to reach for her boots.
"Perhaps we could just lay here and rest for a while." She suggested softly, holding a boot in her hand and looking like she barely had the energy to sit up. "I fear you have exhausted me, my sunshine."
For his part, Haldir stared at her momentarily, then knelt down and took the boot from her hand. "Rumil will have dinner waiting for us at home and Halendil has probably been counting down the hours until our return." Haldir said to her gently. Without waiting for a reply, he had the first boot on her foot and fully laced up within a few moments and quickly followed suit with her other boot.
Worry filled his mind as he realized this was the third time in the last few months that she had dealt with this predicament. When her exhaustion had first hit, he simply presumed she had overextended herself with excessive training. However, the last two instances had been easy days where Belegwen had not done many physical activities. Even in their lovemaking, Haldir had taken the lead and Belegwen had not needed to exert much effort, so it did not make sense for her to be so tired.
Something was wrong, though he could not put his finger on what it was. It was very unlike Belegwen to not have energy. By the looks of it, he was not even certain that she could stand up right now.
"Here," he said as he turned around while still kneeling. "Give me your hands."
When he felt her hands tentatively resting on his shoulders, he grabbed her thighs and hoisted her onto his back with ease. Standing up, he smiled as he felt her head rest on his shoulder while her arms entwined around his neck. A shiver passed through him as he felt her warm lips brush against the back of his neck once she had moved his curtain of hair aside.
"Thank you," she murmured as he proceeded to start walking towards the city. "I think I need this break more than I realized." Haldir agreed with her softly, but could not manage to quell the uneasy feeling in his heart as he traveled back to Caras Galadhon.
ooOoo
"Take that you big dirty orc!" Halendil shouted with excitement, his wooden sword flying with a well-practiced motion towards Rumil, who deftly swung himself backward to avoid the 20 year-old's blow. The two were both hanging upside down with their knees latched onto a low tree branch, sword fighting as Rumil's nephew often enjoyed. Much like his naneth, Halendil had quickly taken to the sword and was already starting to demonstrate a talent in this particular field of weaponry.
Rumil easily defended against the little elfling's offensive, using a wooden sword to block blow after blow while somehow maintaining his balance on the tree branch. They were playing Halendil's favorite game, which was referred to as 'Orcs and Wardens.' For some reason, Halendil always made him be the orc, citing that his uncle Rumil was even better than his adar at pretending to be an orc.
Well... if an orc was what his nephew wanted, an orc was what he would get!
Rumil gnashed his teeth and hissed menacingly at the tiny warden before him, pretending to slash at him with a hand shaped like a claw. Having seen this many times before, Halendil was not even remotely surprised by such behavior and precariously aimed his sword for Rumil's hand. Upon receiving the blow, Rumil shrieked dramatically, dropping his sword into the dirt below them while holding his hand and pretending to be horrified at his own decapitation.
When he looked back at Halendil, he saw the same flash he saw in Belegwen's eyes when she knew she was about to win a battle. Indeed, the next blow was unexpectedly to his feet, effectively flipping Rumil off the tree branch. Quickly thinking, Rumil controlled his flip so that he landed first in a squatting position before he allowed himself to roll into a heap on the ground as he continued to make horrifying orc noises. Though some elves might have found this scene oddly curious, none of the elves in the neighboring telain even bothered to look as they went about their days; all of Haldir and Belegwen's neighbors were rather accustomed to such displays at this point.
Moments later, Halendil flipped himself gracefully out of the tree and landed next to Rumil. His wooden sword immediately rested against Rumil's neck. "All of Arda shall be safe once more!" He exclaimed proudly, then pretended to skewer Rumil through the heart with the sword. Rumil allowed himself to go limp and laid as still as could be while Halendil jumped and bounced around in celebration of his victory against the orc. It took all of his self-control not to smile, as he loved watching this jolly little elfling.
However, it was his job as an uncle to tease the little ellon and he knew in this instance, it would be all too easy. As expected, Halendil eventually stopped frolicking around him and stood still as he looked down at him. "Rumil? Are you not going to get up so we can play again?" He asked, poking him first with the blunt tip of his wooden sword and then kneeling down to poke at him with a hesitant finger.
"Rumil?" He asked again, his eyes growing a bit larger as his uncle laid there unmoving. When Rumil saw a mildly panicked look enter the little one's eyes, he knew it was time to strike. Screaming loudly with the hopes of catching him off guard, Rumil grabbed his nephew's ankles. Halendil squealed as he was pulled into a wrestling match in which there was loud shouting and giggling for several minutes.
When he finally had his fill, Rumil pushed his wiggly nephew away from him into the cloud of dirt the two had stirred up on the Lorien pathway. Rumil caught sight of the little one as he stood up and admired his handiwork. The littlest warden's grey tunic and brown pants were completely covered in dust; his silvery braids, which had been pristinely done up that morning, were now messy and starting to fall out. Rumil reached down and ruffled the little one's hair affectionately as he stared up at him, smiling as a couple blades of grass floated from his hair languidly.
"Truce?" Rumil asked as Halendil blinked several times, smearing the dust across his face as he tried to clean it off with his sleeve. Halendil did not answer though until he was done trying to wipe off his face and then, it was with his brutal 'warden voice,' which mimicked the vocal inflections of his adar perfectly.
"I do not make truces with orcs!" He barked and with that, the battle raged on. The two parried and lunged at one another until Halendil suddenly dropped his sword and ran down the street.
"Ada! Nana!" He called out. Rumil watched as he ran to his parents. Haldir rushed forward and grabbed up his young son, tossing him in the air and then twirling around with the little one as he giggled endlessly at his adar's attention. After a moment, he watched as Haldir whispered into the little one's ear. With a nod, Halendil was set on the ground and was unusually calm as he approached Belegwen. Rumil immediately knew something was wrong, as Belegwen usually received an equally enthusiastic greeting from her 20 year-old son.
Indeed, when Belegwen knelt down to hug Halendil, Rumil saw that she was noticeably unsteady on her feet and did not hold her son with the same tight enthusiasm she normally reserved for him.
Had there been an attack on the border recently that had worn her down? Surely Haldir would have been in the same condition as Belegwen if there had been a battle though... No, something else was amiss because Haldir seemed to be perfectly fine. Catching his brother's eye for a moment, Rumil shared a worried look with him before Halendil once again dominated his attention with loud stories about what he had done while his parents were at the border for the last fortnight.
Anxiety fluttered in Rumil's chest as he thought about his suspicions concerning Belegwen. In his heart, he knew she had never been quite the same after the battle. She and Haldir had dealt with her episodes well enough and, as far as Rumil knew, she had not experienced problems with them for the last few years. However, Rumil had watched her closely as the years passed, as he was deeply concerned for his gwathel's well-being after all that had come to pass that fateful night at Helm's Deep.
She had nearly slipped away multiple times on the eve of the battle. Unlike Haldir, who only heard vaguely told stories about the night, Rumil had witnessed it firsthand and knew precisely how serious Belegwen's situation had been. He had almost lost her three times to fading, not to mention the dangers that had inherently come along with the battle and that idiot Erthalion. Rumil knew they were incredibly lucky to have her and Halendil with them today.
They had barely made it out alive.
Rumil knew it, as did Belegwen and Gilhoth. In a sense, Haldir knew it too, though he chose not to dwell on such matters. No, Haldir preferred to live in the present and was dead set on enjoying the blessings his second chance at life had granted him. He had too. Rumil had never seen Haldir with such a lightness about him in all the years of his life. Marrying Belegwen had brought a sense of joy back into his stoic gwador and Rumil was pleased to finally see him enjoying his life, rather than keeping to himself as he had in the past.
A similar joy could often be felt around Belegwen. However, Rumil knew her so well at this point that he could detect there were times when the joy was real and there were also times where it was more of a façade, covering some other mysterious emotion he could not decipher. He had suspected something was wrong with Belegwen for a long time now and these bouts of weakness she battled were probably the first indicators of a much deeper problem.
Was all of his family's newfound joy about to end?
Rumil was suddenly brought out of his dark thoughts by a large hand resting on his shoulder after giving him a good hard pat. He found Haldir beside him, quickly pushing him towards the stairs where Belegwen and Halendil now were.
"What do you know of this?" He whispered to Rumil, hanging back a bit as Halendil led the way up the stairs of the mallorn with Belegwen lagging behind him, listening attentively to story after story about the little ellon's adventures from the last two weeks. "Have you seen her this way recently?"
"Your guess is as good as…" He started, then trailed off as he watched Belegwen lean against the trunk of the tree, her eyes closed and her breathing shallow. Haldir had seen it first and was already halfway to her, taking the stairs three at a time with striking speed.
Rumil watched as Haldir reached Belegwen and gently eased her down so she was sitting on one of the steps with her back safely up against the heart of the mallorn. Somehow, Halendil had not noticed what happened and had disappeared around the bend of the tree, continuing up the familiar stairway on his own. His light chattering could still be heard as the two brothers watched Belegwen with deep-seated concern.
"Race Halendil to the top of the stairs and then help him clean up for the evening meal." Haldir murmured, looking desperately at Rumil. "He need not see his naneth this way. If he asks about us, tell him we stopped to say hello to a few neighbors."
While Rumil did not want to leave Belegwen in this state, but he knew it would be best for the elfling to be unaware of this and was quick to comply with Haldir's commands. Making haste, he ran up the stairs to catch up to Halendil, leaving his worried brother staring down at his hervess in utter disbelief.
ooOoo
"How long?" Haldir asked in a state of complete shock, kneeling silently down in front of Belegwen to meet her panicked eyes with his own widened ones. "How long has the sea been crying out to you?"
He found himself reaching out to her and grasping her upper arms, though he honestly could not tell if he was trying to steady her or himself at this point. Fear was clouding his mind as he watched her look at him wearily.
Her ears were filled with the familiar sounds of seabirds and the rushing sounds of waves crashing upon themselves. Within her mind's eye, Haldir watched as a shallow rush of water flowed steadily over her torso as she laid helplessly on the ground. Where the source was, he did not know, but it flowed around her insistently, whispering its promise of peace in her ears.
Nothing had ever shaken Haldir more in his entire life.
"Since… since the battle." She whispered, her eyes looking fearfully into his as he realized precisely how long she had concealed this from him. "Please do not be angry with me. I did not wish to worry you."
"But… why would you suffer in silence?" He asked, still astounded as he looked into her large, blue eyes. "I am your hervenn! There are not supposed to be any secrets of importance kept between us! Belegwen, how could you!?" He exclaimed, a feeling of betrayal instantly battering his heart as a waterfall of anxiety crashed into the pit of his stomach.
They had, in fact, discussed this topic at length when they first entered into their marriage. Haldir thought they had been on the same page because both had agreed that only the smallest of secrets could be kept from one another; things of little importance, such as surprises and silly things they heard from their friends. Clearly, Belegwen had not held up her end of their accordance, as she had kept this rather large secret hidden for 20 years!
The thought of her suffering in silence for so long nearly brought Haldir to tears. He hated the idea of her being in pain! It was her own fault though, as she had chosen this road, fully aware of its consequences. A myriad of emotions passed through Haldir all at once, ranging from anger concerning her well-meaning lie to utter despair at the thought of losing her.
"I can deal with it Haldir. I am strong enough to make it until Lord Celeborn chooses to sail. I do not want to leave until my duty is fulfilled." She argued, her stubbornness once again emerging.
Haldir shook his head in frustration, barely holding back the tears that threatened to overtake his sense of reason. He did not want to be reactionary towards her, but it was hard because she infuriated him when she acted this way. "There may not be a choice Belegwen. Elves do not get the pleasure of choosing the time in which they fade." He said as he rested his forehead in his hand. "You should go and speak to Linedhel about this. Perhaps something can be done."
She nodded in agreement, much to Haldir's relief. However, he did not feel any better as he picked her up in his arms and slowly carried her up the stairs, for while he desperately wanted to hope everything would turn out alright, he knew in his heart what was truly happening…
He was about to lose her.
ooOoo
Numb.
It was the only word that could describe Belegwen as she walked down the familiar forest path, pale as a ghost and devoid of any emotion. Still, she knew the path well enough from her three millennia of traveling it and was aware that she would end up at her desired destination, regardless of her mental state.
The news Linedhel had given her was not ideal, but she had learned more than she already knew. After answering a wide variety of questions, he had announced she was indeed fading, but in a much more involuntary way than other elves. Most elves who faded either became bored with their lives in Arda or lost too many loved ones and faded from broken hearts. However, when Belegwen spoke of how many times she had faded the night of the battle, Linedhel concluded that her body had grown accustomed to fading and therefore had decided it was time to leave, even though her heart currently had no desire to depart.
It was a curious situation, one that happened rather infrequently to elves, but was presenting itself in her nonetheless. The ill news had broken Belegwen's heart in two, as she now worried what tidings it would bring within her life. Would she be able to watch Halendil grow up underneath the mellyrn as she desired? Could she truly continue to serve as a marchwarden while she faded? Would she be forced to leave these shores before she was ready? Before she had fulfilled her duty?
Would Haldir still love her if her ailment ruined all the plans they made for the future?
Belegwen shivered at the thought. The rational side of her mind knew it was silly, as Haldir had been loyal to her even before she knew about his feelings. However, she could not seem to prevent the anxiety from settling in her heart. She did not want to be the reason Haldir and Halendil had to leave these shores! She did not want to leave and she would not! Not without a fight!
A sudden feeling of determination flowed over her state of mental turmoil while she slipped off the pathway and started to maneuver her way through the shrubbery towards the familiar voices of her family. There were loud shrieks of joy and outrage coming from Halendil and Linros, as well as loud splashing sounds coming from the pond where they often went to swim. While Haldir had practically begged to accompany her to Linedhel's healing talan, Belegwen had turned him down and then saying he needed to take Halendil swimming as he had promised or the little one would figure out that something was wrong.
After a long discussion the night before, both had mutually decided that Halendil should not know unless it was absolutely necessary, as they did not want to worry the little elfling. He was still very young and neither wanted this stress to fall upon him. Thus, Haldir had dutifully take the elfling to the pond along with Rumil and Linros to pass the time after making Belegwen promise she would come by and tell him the results of the examination immediately after its completion.
Now that she had arrived at the pond, she struggled to approach him, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. Instead, she stood in the shadows of the forest, watching the elves she loved play in the water haphazardly. Linros and Halendil were playing tag in the water, running through the shallow pond and screaming joyfully while Rumil sent currents of water towards them at every chance he got.
At first, Belegwen was confused because she did not see Haldir. A sudden movement caught her attention though as two strong arms appeared from under the water behind Halendil and pulled the ellon under the water as he emitted a sound of surprise. Moments later, Haldir and Halendil's heads both popped up out of the water. Their wet hair was plastered to their faces as they stared at each other, Halendil shouting at him with fake outrage. Haldir laughed and laughed, then took off running with the little ellon following close behind him.
Belegwen admired her husband as he ran through the water, sloshing and splashing it all around as her son tried to tag him. How strong and handsome he looked with droplets of water flying from his soaked golden locks onto his perfect porcelain skin. His tunic and undershirt had been discarded on the shore and Belegwen had never ceased to be amazed with his striking figure; what a sight he was as the sunlight caught his hair and the water droplets on him, both shimmering under the bright light.
At last, he had regained his full speed and was once more moving as freely as he had before the battle. No elf in all of Lothlorien could compete with him in this area, though young Halendil certainly wanted to try. Belegwen appreciated Haldir as he slowed down to allow his offspring to catch up to him. A deep laugh caught in his throat as Halendil leaped and tackled his adar to retaliate, creating a resounding splash.
It was moments such as this that Belegwen tucked away into her heart for safekeeping. She loved seeing her family happy. Sometimes the life they had seemed like a dream; too good to be true. Indeed, she had been right because it was about to come to an end.
It was all her fault.
Belegwen's lip trembled as she started to step forward. She knew it was now or never—waiting would not make the news any easier to digest. Steeling herself, Belegwen put on her bravest face and masked her inner turmoil before stepping into the sunlit clearing. The first to see her was Halendil, who shouted, "Naneth! Come try to catch me!" He waved at her playfully with water dripping off his tiny form; his silver braids were half unraveled and plastered to his cheeks as he started to run away from her in the pond before turning to see if she had followed.
Luckily, Rumil stole his attention away from her with a well-timed dunking, which resulted in pandemonium as Halendil shouted for Linros to come help him push Rumil under. Under the guise of this purposeful distraction, Haldir quickly exited the pond, grabbed Belegwen's hand, and stole away with her.
Belegwen stared at him as he led her off the pathway and into the forest. Through their bond, she could sense his anxiety, as he had not even bothered to dry off before making his exit. When he stopped and met her eyes with his worried glance, she felt him immediately start to probe her mind for answers, only to stop when they heard the giggling of unfamiliar voices nearby. Wanting to be alone, Haldir used his head to indicate they would climb the mallorn they were next to and then shot up it rather quickly with Belegwen on his heels.
Haldir reached down and grabbed Belegwen's hand upon arriving at an extensive height within the tree. With practiced strength and balance, he pulled her onto the branch where he stood and the two peered downward through the golden foliage together. There were two ellyth, both carrying baskets of laundry, heading towards the pond as they spouted off the latest gossip with one another. Convinced they had not been seen, Haldir sat down on the branch and patted beside him.
Gingerly, Belegwen sat next to him and met his eyes; so blue they were, like sapphires sewn into the whitest of silks. She took his hand, which was still sopping wet, and noticed it was shaking a bit. It was then that she felt it. Haldir was afraid. Belegwen found this off-putting, as she rarely felt such a thing from him.
Swallowing, Belegwen reached her other hand out and touched his forehead gently, quickly conveying the memories from her visit with Linedhel to him without having to utter a word. Soon it was over and the couple sat in silence while staring at one another. Neither knew what to say.
Belegwen knew what to do though. Disregarding the fact that he was soaking wet, Belegwen closed the space between them by crawling closer to her husband and carefully straddling his lap with her own legs. Overcome with emotion, she embraced him tightly as the water from his torso sank into the front of her Galadhrim tunic. Haldir did not move at first, but then Belegwen felt his arms slowly reach around her until he was holding her too. His hold was gentle at first, but then as he started to silently sob into her neck, his grasp became tighter and tighter. It was as if he worried she would be ripped away from him at that exact moment.
A feeling of hopelessness filled Belegwen and shook her to the core. She clung to Haldir with all her might; his pain was her pain and vice versa. They bore one another's sorrows for several long minutes, which seemed to stretch on for an eternity before they parted.
Wiping the tears from his eyes with one swift pull of his arm, Haldir lightly touched the skin beneath her chin and guided her eyes up to his own. "I will take you west," he vowed very seriously, "You will find your healing there. I would have you whole once again. To be whole and happy; that is what you deserve."
"But it is not what I want." Belegwen murmured in return, her hushed voice sounding airy and on the verge of whispering. "My heart does not desire to sail yet. I want to remain here with you and Halendil. I want to see him reach his majority here. I want to fulfill my oath to Lord Celeborn."
Her voice pleaded with him as she stared into his eyes. "Please Haldir. I am strong enough. I will weather this storm and endure until the true time arrives."
Haldir did not seem as receptive to this idea as she had hoped though. "At what expense? I would not have you suffer here for years on end hervess." He insisted with a firmness in his tone that stated his opinion more clearly than his words did. "If we wait too long, you will end up in the halls, lingering there for a few millennia before we can be together again. Such a thing would be unbearable, my starlight, as I have already waited several millennia to just to be with you!"
Taking his face gently in her hands, Belegwen drew closer to him so that his face was only a hairsbreadth away from her own. "It will not come to that, my sunshine. I would have you sail with me before that day arrives."
"Would you promise this to me? Would you be totally honest with me about how you are doing so I can help you gage when the time is right?" He asked as he placed his hands upon her own and then gently caressed down her arms and torso, causing a shiver to pass through her body involuntarily.
"I promise," she murmured, kissing him lightly on the lips as she felt his love for her permeate all of her inner self during their touching moment. "Now let us enjoy what time we have left on these shores before we embark on our next adventure."
And with all her heart, Belegwen focused on living. One day at a time, she relished every special moment she could, knowing each day could be her last in Lothlorien.
ooOoo
The years passed quickly and soon it came to pass that young Halendil was nearly at his majority. At forty years of age, he had grown to be slightly taller than Belegwen. Facially, he looked very much like Haldir indeed, but his physical body was much smaller and more lithe, just like Belegond. Having two marchwardens for parents had been influential for the young ellon; it had been nearly inevitable for him to follow in their footsteps. At age 45, he passed all of the warden's exams and, with Lord Celeborn's permission, had become the youngest warden Lothlorien had ever seen.
Belegwen and Haldir were proud of him, as he had turned out to be quite responsible for his age. His presence was very welcome on the border, as fewer and fewer wardens remained in what was left of the golden wood as each year passed swiftly by.
The magic had faded further from the forest, only now lingering on in Caras Galadhon itself. In the woods surrounding the city, Nenya's power had waned and the golden leaves had all faded into a lush green. It was only a matter of time before the same thing happened in the city as well and all of the remaining elves knew it. More and more elves left the city every year, leaving the streets more barren than they had ever been in the past.
The lack of wardens to protect the wood had grown into a problem just a few years prior and the elves had reluctantly given up the outer edges of the woods, as the perimeter was simply too large to protect with so few wardens available for the watches. Instead, they set up new guard telain much closer to the city to lessen the burden of the few wardens who remained.
A quiet decision had been made a few years prior that Belegwen would no longer serve at the borders, as her problems with fading had grown over the years. She would often feel tired at unexpected moments; Belegwen had seen how it had made her service ineffective and had sadly agreed to serve her remaining years as a personal guard to Lord Celeborn. With more men visiting Caras Galadhon than ever before, it was decided that extra protection would be good for their leader. It was mutually beneficial for Belegwen, as it gave her a way to feel useful other than taking over a majority of the warden's scheduling and still teaching the occasional sword lesson.
At first, many of the remaining elves thought her new assignment was unnecessary. However, a traveler had drawn a knife on Lord Celeborn two years into her task and Belegwen did not hesitate before speedily disarming him and pinning him to the ground. Before Celeborn had shouted for help, it was over. Belegwen proved she had never let her guard down and was still every bit the warden as she was before.
The fiasco had exhausted her though and Haldir had watched over her as she slept for three days straight afterwards. As he took care of her, he found himself particularly distraught and ended up confiding in Rumil. "I am losing her! She is too stubborn to admit she needs to leave!" He had proclaimed with terrified eyes as he stared at her sleeping form in the healing talan.
"Are you so sure?" Rumil had asked in return, his eyebrow cocked with curiosity. "I had the pleasure of escorting her victim out of the woods and let me just say this; he will not soon forget what she did to him."
"Truly?" Haldir questioned, clearly trying to find any bit of hope he could to cling onto.
"She really did a number on him Haldir. By the Valar, she broke his hand when she disarmed him!" Rumil said in astonishment. "Even I did not know she still had such fire within her! Perhaps she can last here longer than we think…"
"I hope you are right." He muttered, not fully reassured as he watched over her sleeping figure dutifully. Haldir knew he was right too, seeing as he knew about one of Belegwen's other fading symptoms that most others did not…
An unhealthy obsession with water.
Lord Celeborn had made the discovery while Belegwen tagged along with him as his personal guard. The problem had started out slowly, causing her to stop and stare at fountains and lakes with an vacant look in her eyes for a few seconds before being able to drag herself away or respond to anything he said. However, it grew over the years to a point where it was nearly impossible for her to move away from water when she spotted it. The lord had changed many of the pathways he normally took to avoid water, as Belegwen could freeze and stare it for hours before she managed to tear herself away.
Sometimes she could not even do that on her own. Sometimes Lord Celeborn or Haldir would have to carry her away from the source of the problem before she would rouse from her dazed state. Choosing not to tell anyone for fear of embarrassing Belegwen, Lord Celeborn, Haldir, Rumil, and Linedhel all kept the problem to themselves and worked hard to manage it as best they could. Between the four of them, they did not leave Belegwen alone, as they were worried about what might become of her if they did.
The problem came to a head one fateful day during the 72nd year of Haldir and Belegwen's marriage. Haldir had been surprised to find Rumil looking for him unexpectedly at the new border. Halendil had been sharing a watch talan with him, as the two often did while serving their fortnight together. Both elves stared at Rumil when he called up to them. He quickly ascended the ladder they threw down. The panicked look on his face scared Haldir as he jumped onto the talan floor abruptly.
"Haldir, Belegwen is missing. We have searched for her all day, but neither myself, Linedhel, or Lord Celeborn can find her anywhere." He blurted out, looking between them expediently to gage their reactions. Haldir's eyes widened and he stared at Halendil, whom they had hidden the problem from for many decades at this point. There was no coming back from this though, as the young ellon's expression slid from surprise to fear.
"What do you mean missing?" Halendil asked as he stared at Rumil. "Ada, what is going on?"
"We must check by every body of water." He stated, already grabbing for his bow and quiver to take his leave.
"We already have." Rumil countered, shaking his head. "We have checked all around the city to no avail."
"She is silent and still when it overtakes her. We must look again; if she is wearing her uniform, she might easily blend into her surroundings." He said as he pulled the ladder up quickly. "Halendil, your naneth… she might not be in her right mind currently. I will explain it in more detail to you later. We must leave right away and comb through all of Caras Galadhon to try and find her. If she is not found somewhere in the city, we will get the help of as many wardens as we can find and search the forest." He proclaimed, then immediately climbed down the green-leafed mallorn tree and disappeared into the fading light of the evening.
Rumil and Halendil proceeded to follow him and the three family members searched for Belegwen well into the night before she was found. It was young Halendil who eventually spotted her while he was rounding the pond he had played in frequently in his youth. There, in the shadow of the trees that was cast down upon the water, he spotted something floating through the darkness. Shucking off his boots, tunic, and weapons, Halendil slid into the water and came upon her still figure, which was floating face up in the water.
"Ada!" He had screamed fearfully into the night as he touched his naneth's cold, unmoving body. "ADA!"
Both Rumil and Haldir were close enough to hear his call and came barreling out of the forest from opposite directions. When Haldir saw where Belegwen was, he plowed into the water without bothering to even take off his boots or weapons.
"Was she face under or face up?" Haldir asked Halendil immediately as he reached her, his hand automatically grasping her wrist to feel for a pulse.
"Face up. Ada, she is breathing, but she is cold to the touch! I think she has been here for hours…" He responded as Rumil waded over towards them in silence.
Haldir reached for her face and upon touching it, the power of their bond flared up and Belegwen finally flinched. Haldir watched as her cerulean eyes started moving. Her look was one of confusion as she caught sight of the ellyn surrounding her. Haldir guided her face so that she looked upon him. "Meleth, can you hear me? Do you know if you are injured?"
She nodded and then started to shiver and managed one broken word. "Cold."
Indeed, she surely was from laying in the frosty autumn waters for hours. Her blue lips spoke of her internal temperature. Instantaneously, Haldir had lifted her into his arms and made for the shore. He placed her gently upon the grass and had his son and brother turn away while he undressed her, carefully checking her body for injuries before dressing her in Halendil's tunic, which was the only dry one available.
What the family came to find even more alarming was that even the next day, Belegwen was unable to recall how she had gotten into the water or what she was doing by the pond. The entire day seemed to be a blur for her, which fed into Haldir's desire to whisk her off into the west. The couple had argued about it for several days, Haldir insisting it was past time for her to go and Belegwen fighting just as heartily to stay and fulfill her duty until the very end. Haldir tried everything, right down to reminding her of the promise she had made to him when they had first discovered what was happening, but she simply could not swayed.
Thus it was that Haldir took his plea all the way to Lord Celeborn himself. However, Celeborn had already heard about their situation and had made a decision of his own. His care for Belegwen was so great that he decided to announce his own decision to sail in two years time to the entire city the very next day. Every family was then asked to make a decision for themselves about where they would go within the next three months—either to sail with him or to move to one of the other remaining elven colonies in Arda.
While Haldir was not thrilled about spending two more years in Caras Galadhon while Belegwen was in such a dangerous state, he had been reassured by both Celeborn and Rumil that the time would pass quickly and they would soon move over the sea so she could receive the healing she desperately needed. Lord Celeborn also granted Haldir a two-year leave from the borders so he could watch over Belegwen until they left, ensuring her safety. Rumil and Gilhoth both functioned as marchwardens for the remaining two years in their stead, while Belegwen and Haldir stood watch over Lord Celeborn and assisted as necessary with goings on in the city.
During the two years, Belegwen had many good days where she functioned quite normally, so long as she did not tax herself too greatly. There were also a slew of days though where Haldir had to carry her away from water sources that seemed to draw her attention away with ease. At the end of the two years, even a glass of water was enough to stop her in her tracks, which made mealtimes rather problematic.
Joy was still found in the final two years, for Belegwen and Haldir enjoyed watching as Halendil grew better and better with his sword and bow, truly earning their mutual respect as a brave warden and an honorable ellon. Together, they had spent their last days in Arda choosing which sentimental items they would take with them to Valinor and what they would leave behind.
On that final day, once all was packed in wagons and readied to depart, the last of the Lothlorien elves had stood in silence, staring into their city one last time. While their desire for the sea was great, they had all spent centuries, if not millennia, living in these fair woods. Even without the magic of Nenya, the trees remained tall and free and they could all still picture Caras Galadhon in its prime, bustling with beloved family members and friends.
The mood was somber, as it was hard to part from the land they all loved. Amid the silence, one voice rang out—Palantil, one of Lorien's finest minstrels, sang his lady's song one final time:
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.
Of wind I sang, a wind there came and in the branches blew.
Beyond the sun, beyond the moon, the foam was on the sea,
And by the strand of Ilmarin there grew a golden tree.
Beneath the stars of ever-eve in Eldamar it shone,
In Eldamar beside the walls of elven Tirion.
There long the golden leaves have grown upon the branching years,
While here beyond the sundering seas now fall the elven-tears.
O Lórien! The winter comes, the bare and leafless day;
The leaves are falling in the stream, the river flows away.
O Lórien! Too long I have dwelt upon this hither shore,
And in a fading crown have twined the golden elanor.
But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a sea?
Ah, like gold fall the leaves in the wind,
Long years numberless as the wings of trees!
The long years have passwift draughts,
Of the sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the West,
Beneath the blue vaults of Varda wherein the stars,
Tremble in the song of her voice, holy and queenly.
Who now shall refill the cup for me?
For now the Kindler, Varda, the Queen of the Stars,
From Mount Everwhite has uplifted her hands like clouds,
And all paths are drowned deep in shadow;
And out of a grey country darkness lies,
On the foaming waves between us, and mist,
Covers the jewels of Calacirya forever.
Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar!
Farewell! Maybe thou shalt find Valimar.
Maybe even thou shalt find it. Farewell!
Many a tear was shed as they all thought of the many times Lady Galadriel had sang that song beneath these fair trees. Those days had now come to an end though, as the time of the elves was over-
"Ada?"
Haldir gasped as he came out of his thoughts and back into the present. He turned to find his son peeking into their tiny room in the bottom of the boat. The room was so small that it only held a small double bed, a dresser that was built into the wall, and one fine wooden chair that Haldir had scooted up to the bed where Belegwen was sleeping. When he signaled for Halendil to enter, he opened the door and revealed the chair from his own room was resting in his hands. He walked in and carefully finagled the chair above his head so he could shut the door, then used it to sit down next to his adar.
"Have there been any changes?" He asked quietly as Haldir passed his naneth's hand, which he had been holding, over to his son. Haldir was saddened by the worry that was now prominent in Halendil's clear, blue eyes as he looked over Belegwen's unmoving form. Having now seen how his son reacted to his naneth's fading, Haldir was glad he had kept it from the ellon for as long as he could.
Since the night he had found his naneth unresponsive in the pond, Halendil had been changed—hardened by the worries of the world in way that no parent would wish upon their progeny. He was more reserved now, spending more time alone with his thoughts now than laughing when the opposite was more his norm. The youngest warden had also taken to watching over his naneth, though no one had asked it of him. Regardless, he was always aware of where Belegwen was, quickly guiding her away from anything he thought was potentially dangerous with the hopes of protecting his naneth.
"No. She has not even blinked or twitched." He replied slowly, carefully observing the ellon's face as a visage of sorrow settled upon it.
Upon arriving at the Grey Havens, Belegwen had promptly become entranced by the sea. Haldir had anticipated this and had picked her up and brought her to the room they would spend the night in before leaving on the boat the next morning. Unlike other times though, Belegwen had not woken up from her trance as she usually did and was still sleeping three days later, much to the concern of her family. They were all quite worried and collectively hoping she would indeed make it west before fading away.
"I spoke with Cirdan today." Halendil announced, breaking the silence between them. "I told him of naneth's condition and he was very positive and hopeful. He said many elves who are in her situation start to feel the magical healing of Aman long before their arrival upon the shores. He suggested she might wake up in a few days once the power begins to take hold of her. She might heal before we arrive."
Haldir did not feel any hope from his son's hypothesis though and sighed with despair. While he had not told anyone yet, he could feel the bond between himself and Belegwen was starting to fade away and it worried him deeply. He was uncertain if he could survive watching her fade into nothingness on the very ship that was supposed to be her saving grace.
"I hope you are right, ion-nin." He answered calmly, a frown resting upon his face as he met Halendil's blue eyes. "I hope you are right."
ooOoo
I'd love to hear from you! Please review and let me know what you think of this penultimate chapter! I'll be back with more very soon! There is one chapter left to write, plus an epilogue to ensure closure at the end. Lets hope my dying computer will keep going for another month so I can finish this monster of a fic...
-P.G.
