A/N: I have been insanely neurotic about posting these next two chapters, mostly because I wrote something similar for a previous story in weaving backstories of characters in and it was met with a lukewarm reception. I have been worried about the feedback, so go easy on me…cuz I've already done the critic thing the past 2 weeks during editing.
Initially this chapter had a 34-35k word count. I did polls on tumblr and twitter to see what people preferred as far as whether or not to split it. The vote itself was…ironically split. But given that it's such a monster of a chapter I did split it. It's still pretty damn long. Expect part 2 tomorrow night.
Some of this will look familiar. You've seen some of Emily's past through her eyes, but there is a lot more to the story...
Content is heavy (most of it you already know about). Still...Trigger-ish and rated 'Super Not T'.
Chapter 39:
San Antonio Sunrise (I)
He remembered the day Emily Fields had moved next door. He'd liked her immediately. She had a cool vibrato about her. She'd moved from California, and he'd heard that California girls were freaky. What he remembered most about that day was the way she'd brightened up his day, like a sun rising over the plains.
He'd stormed out of his house after a particularly brutal fight with his parents. They were such assholes. They were assholes to him and they were assholes to each other. He didn't know why they stayed married. His mother was a whore. His father was a total wuss.
"Nicolas, you get back here!" His mother had shouted.
He'd just ignored her. He knew she wouldn't follow him. She never did. She didn't care enough to come after him.
The screen door slammed shut behind him, making a loud 'thwaking' noise. He'd bounced down the front porch steps and walked towards the side of the house mumbling about how he couldn't wait to get the hell out of Texas.
He'd been working his ass off in school. It was the one place in his life he didn't slack off. He owed it to his fourth grade teacher. She was the one who noticed that his work was different than the other students in class.
She'd gone through his records and found out that he'd failed second grade, but the classwork that she was seeing didn't indicate why.
It took him some time to realize that he hadn't failed because he lacked intelligence. He'd failed because he wasn't being challenged enough. He'd always been a very bright child, but his parents were too busy ripping each other apart to notice.
Once his teachers put him on the right track he'd started to excel, especially in science and math. He really liked robotics and technology. He liked taking things apart and figuring out how they worked. He liked putting them back together, bigger and bolder.
He'd tested out of his regular computer science classes and had been in advanced courses for several years. He was on the fast-track to any university he wanted.
The sound of his mother screeching at his father rang out in the air. He sighed and leaned back against the house siding.
He pulled his cigarettes out of his cargo shorts, smacking the bottom of the pack to make sure all the tobacco would stay in the paper like it was supposed to. He flipped the top open and pulled out his favorite silver lighter. It was a cool old relic he'd found in the attic.
Years later he would lose the lighter in a bar outside of Rosewood, Pennsylvania after a night with Alison DiLaurentis. A boy named Caleb Rivers would find it with his DNA on it.
He slipped a cigarette into his mouth, letting it hang loosely at the corner of his lip as he popped the cigarette pack back into his shorts. He popped the top of the lighter. It made a hissing sound as he held it up against the edge of the cigarette. He cupped the lighter and the embers sparked the edges of his cigarette until it turned bright red.
When he lowered the lighter he saw her for the first time.
New Girl hopping off of a moving van, carrying a box. She had sleek shining black hair tied up in a messy bun. She was dressed in a tank top and cut-off jean shorts. Her skin was gleaming with sweat.
She was a sight to look at. Gorgeous brown eyes. Long legs. A hell of an ass. The total package.
He puffed on his cigarette, watching her curiously.
He put his lighter away and walked towards her.
She was on the porch when she saw him approaching. She put the box down and waved.
"Moving in?" He pulled the cigarette out from between his lips and flicked some ash on to the ground. It was almost burned out.
She looked amused at his assessment for some reason.
"Nope. I'm a cat burglar. I just suck at stealth."
He laughed.
Cute and funny. God help him. Definitely an upgrade from the last neighbors. They'd been an older couple with a newly married son and a shrew of a daughter-in-law.
He took a moment to casually look her over. She had a perky little ass and nice tits, not fully developed yet, but still nice.
It's not that he was overly sexual. He'd heard in their Sex Ed class that boys and girls thought about sex equally often as each other. He couldn't control what made him hot. He couldn't control what made his dick pop off. This girl definitely made him stand at attention.
"Need some help?" He gestured to the box.
"Are you asking to be an accessory to a crime?" She asked playfully.
"Do I look like a guy who is on the up-and-up?" It was her turn to laugh. He reveled in it. "Where are you from?"
"Originally the east coast, but we're coming from California. My dad was stationed there for a while, but was reassigned here."
"Ah, Military? Good man." He nodded and then motioned towards the boxes. "Well, I can't compete with California surfers, but I can offer my southern charm and stunning Texas abs to move whatever is left on the truck for you."
"This is the last of it. My parents are putting the rest in storage as we speak." She reached up and wiped her sweaty brow.
He took one last drag of his cigarette and then pulled it out of his mouth. He looked around awkwardly for a few seconds before Emily pointed him towards an empty grey bin for him to discard the butt in.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the pack, already jonesing for another.
"You want one, Cali Girl?" He dumped two cigarettes into his palm.
"The name is Emily." She glanced at the cigarettes, thinking it over.
"Nick. Nick Maxwell."
She didn't look like someone who smoked often, but there was a glimmer in her eyes that made him believe that she'd snuck a smoke every now and then. She looked like a little badass.
After careful consideration Emily turned him down.
"My parents would kill me. Last time they caught me smoking I got grounded for a month."
A bad girl. He twitched in excitement.
"Surprised you weren't assigned to clean the latrines."
"Dad wouldn't let me on base. I get into too much mischief." She grinned in pride. Her jaw line was perfect.
He raised his brow in intrigue, a very much 'elaborate, please' gesture.
"What kind of mischief?"
His question caused a strange surge of self-consciousness in the brunette. She reached up and nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
She looked like she was holding something back. He liked the mystery. He didn't know she was hiding a part of herself, though he should have picked up on it. He was no stranger to secrets. He knew he wasn't like other kids…that his family wasn't like other families. He'd learned that in elementary school.
When he was little all the other kids in his class were buying extravagant lunches. Half the time his mother forgot to make him lunch, so he would snatch food from his friends' lunch trays and look in the trash for leftovers. He'd wised up after a few months, learning to slap together a peanut butter sandwich so he wouldn't go hungry.
When it came time for field trips his parents never gave him money so he'd be the only kid in class who didn't get to visit all the landmarks and amusement parks.
Once he had a teacher who realized he hadn't turned in the money for a trip and she'd paid for him and personally called his mother to get permission for him to go The San Antonio River Walk, a large park that ran along the San Antonio River. He got to visit museums and the zoo and eat pizza with the rest of the kids that day.
His parents made him feel like less than nothing. They didn't care about him. So he knew what it felt like to hold secrets inside.
"It's cool. No pressure. Your mischief, your business. I don't mind keeping the mystery alive." He plopped down on the steps.
She slowly lowered herself next to him on the steps. She leaned forward to flick a speck of dirt off of her boots.
"My dad is actually kind of a softie. My mom is the real Corporal Punishment."
She looked pained at the mention of her mother. He wanted to ask her why. He wanted to tell her he understood.
"You have any brothers or sisters to share the heat with?" he asked.
"No. It's just me. I'm an only child."
"Me too." He didn't really know much about his family. He'd toyed with the idea of doing an ancestry test to see if he had some cool distant relatives that might give him bragging rights. "It can be lonely."
He hadn't meant to say it out loud. He looked at her, expecting her to be weirded out since they'd just met. Her eyes were curious, but she wasn't judging him. He rubbed his arm.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."
"It's okay." She smiled shyly. "It can definitely be lonely."
His slip up opened up a floodgate between the two of them. That day had been the first time in years that he had connected to someone on a real level.
She understood him. It made him feel seen.
They ended up talking and laughing on her front porch for nearly an hour.
Neither one of them realized that Courtney had been watching them from her friend's house across the street.
She'd been forced to go outside when her dad came by to pick her up for church. She'd quickly made her way to the car, trying to remain invisible, though she didn't quite know why she was hiding.
Her stupid younger brother Isaac was buried in some audiobook. He was a total geek. She didn't even look at him. He didn't look at her either.
She peered out the back window, scowling at what she saw.
Nick Maxwell was the school's biggest womanizer, though he was kind of cute in a shabby hobo way. He didn't care what other people thought of him. And he was smart.
The girl seemed to be falling for his charm. It annoyed her.
The brunette looked up from the porch, her eyes scanning the area.
She was disgustingly beautiful.
There was something warm about her, like a sunrise on a crisp summer morning.
Courtney licked her lips. Something inside of her stirred as she watched them talking. Her body felt hot. Her cheeks burned. She had a funny feeling in her stomach. Something was tingling in between her legs. She pushed her thighs together tightly, suppressing the urge to moan.
Her brain was saying one thing, but her body…her hot flesh was saying another. She didn't understand what was happening inside of her. It scared her and pissed her off at the same time.
She had decided in that instant that she hated the girl, but she also had a strong desire to love her…to protect her.
She looked so sweet, so unbroken. Courtney knew she couldn't let Nick steal her innocence.
And he would.
He'd fuck anything that moved. He'd starting having sex a lot earlier than most of their class. They were both a year older because they'd both flunked a grade in elementary school. It made the other kids worship the ground they walked on.
Girls threw themselves at Nick. They saw him as a sexy rebellious outcast, but Courtney knew the truth. He was just a playboy. She heard him talking 'bro' to Isaac all the time about his conquests. She wasn't sure why her brother hung out with him. The older boy was an arrogant tool.
Nick Maxwell was a trifling womanizer who destroyed every girl he ever touched. And she couldn't let the new girl fall prey to him.
That's where it had all started.
She made a decision that day: Emily Fields was not Nick's. Emily Fields belonged to her. She would protect her from Nicolas Cole Maxwell, even if it killed her.
She would do the righteous work of the Lord and protect the lamb from the lion.
Emily looked up in time to see their car turning around the corner. She saw Courtney peering through the window. She waved.
Courtney didn't wave back.
She was already plotting.
Nick was in close proximity to Emily. His house was right next door. He could also be easily swayed with her sexual prowess. And if he was occupied with her he wouldn't be thinking about Emily.
Courtney watched them for weeks, waiting to make her move.
Nick and Emily hung out occasionally that summer, but she always kept him at a strange emotional distance. Nick found it both frustrating and exhilarating. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to hang out with a girl and not have her fawning all over him. It made the chase more exciting.
When school started they didn't see each other as much. Their class schedules were very different. She started hanging out with a bohemian chick named Maya.
Nick wasn't the only one who noticed when she started getting close to Maya. Courtney was watching, too.
Maya changed something in the brunette. Emily seemed lighter. Happier. She was bold. Brazen. They took risks together. Maya made her happy.
Courtney hated Maya. She hated when Maya came to cheer her on at swim practice. She hated the way Maya got close to her when they were studying together in the library. She hated everything about her.
The only time that Courtney saw Emily without Maya was at church. Emily always came with her family. Maya didn't ever go to church. Courtney assumed her parents were some pagan heathens that were in to some liberal alternative lifestyle.
Courtney had Emily all to herself during Sunday services. She couldn't take her eyes off of her during the sermons. Emily's Sunday best was a rogue attempt to rebel at her parents, which was incredibly sexy. She wore jeans and tight fitting T-shirts with ironic phrases on them. Emily's mother did not seem to approve.
Courtney was fascinated by Emily. She looked at her and recognized something in her that she didn't fully understand. It made her itch…made her skin crawl.
She wanted to get closer to her, but Emily seemed determined to stall her at every turn. The girl tried to show her up at swim practice. She ignored her outside of swim practice. But the final nail in the coffin had been when Emily shunned her in favor of her brother for the church trip they took together.
She'd found the two of them outside, being total dorks. Isaac had been playing with a frog. He had some stupid obsession with The Princess and the Frog.
Courtney hated frogs. And she hated her brother for taking Emily away from her. So when she watched Isaac walk away from her with Emily by his side the blonde decided that she would take away something he loved, too. His little frog friend jumped his very last jump that day.
She thought of ways to torture them the entire bus ride. Every so often Emily would catch her staring. Courtney didn't care. She wanted her to be intimidated.
Courtney noticed Nick staring at Emily on the ride, too. He'd showed up to church in a really foul mood.
She knew that he'd been gathering up the balls to ask Emily out, so seeing the brunette sitting with Isaac had probably made his day worse.
She didn't know that he had other things on his mind.
He'd gotten into a huge fight with his parents before leaving that morning after he'd gotten DNA results back for a genealogy project he was working on. The test swab he'd done had found a partial match.
He'd confronted his parents that morning. He'd cornered them, demanding to know why they had been lying to him.
His father had stared, dead-eyed. His mother had cried. She'd confessed she'd had an affair with a rich stock broker, but she wouldn't tell him anything else. He'd only found out later through his half-brother Darren Wilden that it was a man named Elliott Rollins.
It had infuriated him. He'd been living a lie. His mother didn't even care enough to tell him about his real father.
There had been a lot of yelling in the Maxwell house that morning. Emily had overheard it before she left for church. She'd always assumed it was about a scholastic test. She never would have dreamed that one day Nick Maxwell and Darren Wilden would work together to destroy everything that brought her joy in life.
The truth upended everything Nick thought he knew about himself. He only wanted to go on the retreat to try and get away from it all. He had no idea that weekend would set the course for the rest of his life.
When he got to church he found Isaac and Emily chatting. He wanted to be irritated that his best friend was flirting with a girl he liked, but Isaac was too damn friendly to hate. And he had bigger things on his mind.
To his astonishment, Courtney approached him and pulled him to sit next to her on the bus. She'd rubbed her legs up against him and touched him a lot.
She had been all over him. It was weird, because she'd never shown an interest in him before. He hung out with Isaac all the time, but Courtney rarely ever acknowledged him.
She chatted with him on the bus, but he brushed her off. He wasn't interested in his homeboy's sister. It wasn't cool to do that to his friend.
It was only later that night…when she blindsided him in the hot tub that he realized she was really in to him.
He'd been enjoying the serenity of a quiet night, relaxing in the hot jets of water streaming all around him as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he had a sibling out there somewhere.
He heard someone approaching and when he looked up he saw the slim blonde swimmer walking towards him in a long flowing white robe.
He assumed that she had on a bathing suit underneath it, but when she stepped up to the stairs she opened the front, revealing herself to him.
She was completely nude.
He hadn't wanted to find her attractive, but his dick had other ideas. It wasn't just that she was naked, but that she was so bold about it.
He didn't argue when she climbed into the hot tub, smiling at him and giggling and talking about how it was "so European" to hot tub in the nude.
He didn't fight it when she slowly floated over to him, nor when she rubbed the bulge in his swimtrunks with her hand and uttered,
"Tricky Nicky Maxwell packs well."
He saw stars when Courtney straddled his lap and sat down on him.
She had his heart.
And his dick.
After they hooked up Courtney ignored him the rest of the weekend, except when Emily was around.
When the trip was over, Courtney went back to pretending he didn't exist. She asked Emily if she wanted to sit with her on the ride home.
Emily rejected her again.
On the ride home Courtney watched her as she slept, her head against Isaac's shoulder. She looked safe. She looked happy. It sparked a flame in her that she felt growing, a fire that would over the years grow to epic proportions, destroying everything in its path. She would make Emily Fields love her, no matter what the cost. She would claim her.
o ~ O ~ o
Two days later Emily dethroned Courtney as swim anchor. Courtney had to watch as the bitch pretended to be humble as she received praise from her swim team.
She waited until every last girl was done with practice. She knew that Emily would stay late. The overachiever always stayed late.
She watched from the shadows with a mixture of spite and affection. Emily's form was beautiful.
But she didn't deserve the top spot. She needed to be punished, but Courtney wasn't sure how she wanted to do it.
When the idea of a party was being floated around a few weeks later Courtney had the idea of drugging the brunette.
She just needed to get Emily to loosen up. If she could get the girl to lower her defenses and let her in she could do whatever she wanted to her.
But then Nick ruined everything. He'd been watching Emily that night. He didn't realize that Courtney had been watching him.
The darkness in the shadows. The danger that even danger itself feared.
Nick didn't know he had an audience. He'd been too preoccupied with a show of his own.
When he saw how Emily was dancing with Maya he realized what she'd been hiding about herself. He thought it was hot. Two chicks and a dude was every male's dream fantasy. Emily would have decked him in the face and called him a chauvinist if she had known he was having those thoughts, but he didn't care.
He kept his distance, watching from across the room. He saw them giggle and run out of the room. He slowly got up to follow them.
They disappeared into a closet together.
All the mystery around Emily Fields was finally coming to light. He'd always known she had a deep dark secret. He recognized deep dark secrets. He had his own. And since the day they'd met he could tell there was something hidden just beneath the surface.
Now he knew what it was.
Emily was pushing him away because she had an eye for chicks, not because he wasn't desirable.
He leaned against the closet door, gently pressing his ear against the thin wood. He had been able to hear their soft moans. It was the hottest fucking thing he'd ever heard.
It was the first of many times he would spy on them. He liked to watch. It was something he would do again in the future when Alison and Emily started dating. He would snap a photo of them kissing on the hood of Alison's car. He would watch them kiss from the shadows. He would even go as far as sneaking around outside a chapel after they attended a Lamaze class.
As Maya and Emily expressed their love in the closet, Nick disappeared into the photobooth set up outside of the small room. He put his ear against the wall again.
He shoved his hand into his pants, getting lost in their passion with a passion of his own.
After he finished he took several pictures of himself. Then he returned to the party.
He hadn't seen Isaac's sister messing with Emily's and Maya's drinks. He didn't know that she'd planned something sinister.
It was the first time she had drugged Emily and Maya. It wouldn't be the last time she drugged Emily's girlfriend though. Not only would she go on to send Maya to the hospital after an overdose one day, but she would work with Nick to spike Alison's drink and conspire to hack into her phone at the very same bar where Nick would lose his lighter. Alison wouldn't recognize her because she would be wearing a wig and a pair of brown contacts.
Courtney watched as Emily and Maya sipped on their drinks without a care in the world.
Two frat boys intercepted them before Courtney had a chance to make her move.
She didn't see the girls being led away.
Nick did.
He had been watching as the two older dickheads led Emily and Maya astray.
Nick didn't particularly fancy himself a hero, but he didn't like guys who played that dirty. He wasn't about the 'drug 'em and fuck 'em' life. He was ready to crack some skulls over it.
"The fuck is that about?" He nudged Isaac, nearly knocking the red cup in his hand filled with beer to the ground.
He'd been surprised to see the younger boy with alcohol in his hands. Isaac was normally a goody-goody. He had his eyes on his future. He had set goals. He had a track he wanted to follow, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it.
Nick understood the urge to get out of San Antonio. He didn't know that Isaac was trying to get away from his family, too. They talked about football and girls. They rarely talked about their home lives. If they had maybe he would have known how disturbed Courtney was, and Isaac would have known about Nick's half-brother.
"That can't be good." Isaac got a self-righteous little crease in his brow.
Unlike Nick, Isaac did stand for everything heroic and virtuous. He didn't hesitate to rush after them. Nick caught up to him quickly.
When they got upstairs they heard Emily pleading with Maya to leave. There was a thud of heavy footsteps. Emily's boots against the ground. She murmured something about not feeling well, something the frat boys took advantage of.
"You probably overdid it on the drinks tonight. Just relax and sleep it off."
Nick could hear the fuckery in the older boy's tone.
It was Isaac who surged forward first. The dumbass heroic idiot had gone in without a plan. Nick had no choice but to follow.
"We'll take care of you…" The frat boy was interrupted by Isaac nearly breaking the door in half.
When he burst into the room he saw one of the frat guys hovering over Maya. The other boy was holding Emily up by her arm. The top of Emily's jeans was unbuttoned. She was trying to get away. Both girls looked pale and sick. Maya could barely hold her eyes open.
"The hell you will." Isaac put himself between Emily and the older guy. He grabbed Emily and pulled her away.
Nick shoved the other boy away from Maya and pulled her to safety. The girls could barely stand.
Isaac touched Emily's cheek. She was totally out of it.
"I want to leave. I want to go home." It was all she'd been able to get out before she started sinking to the floor.
Isaac put his arm around her and tapped her cheek to try and keep her awake. He gave her a quick once-over, his eyes stopping on the unbuttoned jeans with the zipper halfway down. Nick noticed that Maya's shirt was disheveled and her skirt was crumpled up. The boys shared an unspoken exchange. Had they been seconds later it might have been too late.
"Come on, let's get you out of here." Nick glanced at the girls. He glared at the frat boys. If he had a weapon he would have executed them. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"It's not our fault they can't hold their liquor. We're just giving them a place to sleep it off," One of the boys made a move towards Maya.
"Stay the hell away from them." Nick stood his ground. He clenched his fists, readying himself for a fight.
"How cute." The shorter frat boy taunted him. "The high school plebs think they can play with the big boys."
Nick turned towards Isaac, motioning for him to get Emily and Maya out while he stood guard. Isaac helped Emily out of the room first and then came back for Maya.
The taller of the two boys tried to follow him, but Nick blocked his path.
"Try it and see what happens, asshole."
"Isn't it past your bedtime, junior?" The bigger guy asked.
Isaac could hear the boys taunting his friend from the bathroom, where he'd taken the girls to shelter them in safety.
Emily couldn't stand without help, so he'd had her sit down with her back against the wall. Maya lurched forward, gagging. Isaac quickly helped her towards the toilet. He held her hair while she puked. Then he helped her sit up against the bathtub.
He walked over to Emily to check on her. The drugs were starting to affect her nervous system. Her pupils were huge. Her body was shaking.
"What kind of monster does this to people?" he uttered to himself, not realizing the monster was part of his family. "Em, can you hear me?"
Emily heard a faint buzzing noise, but she had no idea what it was. She stared at the boy in front of her. She had no idea what was happening.
Isaac felt his stomach twist into knots when he looked down and saw that her jeans had slipped down an inch. He reached down to pull the zipper up, but Emily jumped, flinching. He didn't realize it was just a nervous tic brought on by the drugs.
He pulled his hands away, staring at the button. He wanted to help her…to fasten the button, but he was afraid to touch her. He didn't want to scare her.
"You and Maya are safe now, okay? I just need you to stay in here for a few minutes. I'm going to get Nick and we're going to get you out of here."
He reached out and gently squeezed her hand. She didn't squeeze back. She couldn't. Her brain wasn't processing anything because of the drugs. She was numb.
Isaac double-checked the hallway and then rushed to get Nick so they could get the girls away from the party.
A few seconds after he left Maya started puking again.
Isaac walked into the bedroom, where Nick was getting ready to go toe-to-toe with both older boys.
"Let's get out of here." Isaac rushed to his friend's side. He glared at the frat guys. His hand curled into a fist. He shot a dirty look at the older boys. "What you're doing is abhorrent."
"Oh, little boy knows a big word. You get that from your word-a-day calendar, champ?"
"That's it…" Nick leaped forward, but Isaac grabbed him, holding him back. He didn't want him getting in over his head.
"They're not worth it." Isaac pulled him away. His plan was to follow the letter of the law. He was going to report them.
"Yeah, run like the pussies that you are…" Laughter from the douchebags. "We'll just tag your girls back later…"
That had been the final straw for Isaac. He'd been the one to throw the first punch. The normally docile boy had turned into a street-fighter, throwing punches and jabs. Nick jumped in to help him.
While Isaac and Nick were busy defending the girls' honor, Courtney was looking for Emily and Maya. She'd turned her head for a split second and when she turned back…they were gone.
She heard someone say they'd gone upstairs, so she'd crept up the stairs.
She could hear sounds of a scuffle. She could also hear someone in the bathroom puking. The door was cracked, so she pushed it open.
Maya's head was halfway in the toilet. Emily was propped up against the wall. Her hands were shaking and her face was pale. She was staring into space.
Her sweet little lamb was helpless. Hers for the taking. A baby deer in headlights. Doe-eyed and innocent.
Sweet sweet Emily...
Courtney heard her brother shout something from the room next door. She couldn't hear exactly what he said, but she heard the word rapist.
Her eyes widened in alarm. She looked back at Emily, her heart skipping a beat in her chest. That hadn't been her plan.
"Oh, sweetie…" She lowered herself to her knees in front of Emily.
The brunette was sweaty and breathing heavy. The top of her jeans was unbuttoned.
"What happened?" Courtney touched Emily's cheek.
Emily murmured something back in response. Courtney furrowed her brow.
"Did they hurt you?" Courtney asked.
Emily blinked in a daze. She didn't know Courtney was there. She wouldn't remember any of it when the drugs wore off.
"Did they force you to…" Her eyes darted to the opening in her jeans. "…did they do something you didn't want them to?"
Still no answer.
Courtney grabbed Emily's face, cradling her cheeks, trying to get her to focus.
"Emily, answer me! Did they fucking touch you?"
Emily still didn't respond. She was paralyzed. She was a shell of herself. Her eyelids drooped until they were completely closed.
Courtney dropped one hand with a sigh and stroked her cheek with her other hand.
Her sweet girl. Her sweet pure girl.
Had those nasty boys spoiled her? Defiled her? Had they done the unthinkable?
She would kill them. She would make them choke on their own blood. Emily wasn't theirs to play with.
She touched Emily's thigh. It was so warm beneath her ripped faded jeans. She let her fingers linger, taking in the heat there as she inhaled a shuddering breath.
She moved her other hand towards the zipper of Emily's pants. She rolled the tip of her index finger against the button. She thought of how the night could have gone had it just been the two of them. She thought of Emily at her mercy.
Her fingertips curled against the waistband of her jeans as she thought about the heat against Emily's thigh…how hot she'd be to the touch without barriers in the way.
She leaned forward, her lips brushing against Emily's cheek. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose.
God, she smelled divine.
She moved her hand up Emily's thigh and over towards the zipper of her jeans. She pulled the zipper up and then fastened the button, making sure her angel was completely covered.
"My sweet girl…" She sighed, tears in her eyes. "They'll never hurt you again. I promise." She delicately kissed her cheek. "You're mine. You're mine and no one else can touch you."
She saw Emily's lips twitch. Her eyes flickered towards Emily's mouth. She cradled Emily's jaw and gently moved forward. Their lips were just shy of touching when a loud moan filled the air.
It had come from Maya. She was getting ready to hurl again.
"Em?" Maya called, her head still buried in a sea of porcelain. "Emily, I need you."
"Maya?" Emily blinked, trying to come back to life, but struggling to do so.
She could hear Maya, but she couldn't see her. She couldn't see anything. Everything was a dark blur.
Courtney peered at Emily. The brunette was looking right through her. She hadn't responded to her, but she'd responded to Maya.
Emily dragged herself to Maya's side, leaving Courtney seething.
That was supposed to be her. Emily was supposed to love her. She'd been so close. She had the brunette in her grasp. She had her at her mercy.
But fucking Maya St. Germain.
The girl was a real problem.
Courtney bolted from the bathroom. She listened to the sounds of the struggle coming from the frat boys' room. She pulled her phone out and made a quick phone call. Then she slid around the corner and waited.
When Nick and Isaac emerged from the room and went to check on the girls Courtney tiptoed towards the open door.
The boys had left a bloody mess behind. One of the frat boys had a broken nose. The other probably had a broken jaw. Their faces were discolored and swollen. One boy was unconscious. The other was whimpering under his breath as he clutched to his consciousness.
Courtney walked into the room and slowly shut the door behind her. She stared at the bed, wondering if Nick and Isaac had gotten to Emily in time…wondering if that bed had been used for terribly foul things. Had they used it to hurt Emily?
She reached for a pillow, running her fingers over the fine thread of fabric. It was soft and silky. Far too soft for a boy to have. She curled her fingers into the pillow and plucked it off of the mattress.
She lowered herself to her knees next to the boy struggling to breathe.
"I want you to listen to me," she whispered angrily to the taller frat guy. "When the police get here you're going to confess to everything you did…everything you've been doing to girls in this fraternity. You're going to confess your sins."
"Huh?" The boy answered drowsily.
"You don't touch what doesn't belong to you. Ever."
"Fuck off," he muttered.
"Wrong answer."
She lowered the pillow against his face, pushing it down with a heavy amount of pressure. He barely had any energy to fight back. There were muffled moans and cries as he struggled against the suffocation.
She waited until his legs and arms stopped flailing and then she pulled the pillow away. She clamped her thumb and index finger down over his broken nose, forcing him to gag on the blood in his mouth when he opened it to scream in pain.
"I want you to remember this moment." She placed her palm over his mouth, further constricting his airway. "I could kill you. I could stop your heart from pumping right now, and you couldn't do anything to stop me." She pulled her hand away. "But I believe in punishment for your crimes. And I believe that boys like you get what you deserve when justice is served. Even so, you remember this moment. Because if you EVER go near my Emily again I will slit your fucking throat in your sleep."
She released the pressure and then stood up. She looked at his buddy, who was unconscious. She reared back and kicked him in the testicles so hard that he'd be swollen for days, maybe even weeks. She'd seen testicular contusions. If they were bad enough they could cause lifelong issues. She kicked him again just to be on the safe side. She hoped he'd never be able to procreate.
She pulled the roofies she had out of her pocket and placed the drugs in clear view, knowing that they would be found in minutes.
She hurried out of the room and rushed downstairs.
The boys had planned to call the cops as they were leaving.
They never had to make the call, because as they were hauling Emily and Maya out the back door, the cops were popping in the front, sending the masses scattering.
Nick hadn't caught the blonde in the corner staring at them as he and Isaac helped Emily and Maya outside. He also didn't know that she was the one who reported what had happened.
As Courtney watched them leave she stewed in her anger. Emily was supposed to be her little lamb that night. She was supposed to be the one alone with her. But boys ruined everything.
She seethed as she watched Nick and Isaac leave with Maya and Emily. She'd been trying to keep Emily and Nick apart, but he was still out chasing her around like a puppy.
She followed them to a diner where she saw Maya and Emily secretly try to hold hands under the table.
It enraged her. Everyone was trying to take Emily away from her. Nick. Isaac. The frat boys. And now Maya.
She wouldn't stand for it.
She'd already handled the frat boys. She couldn't stop Isaac and Nick. But she could do something about Maya.
The girl had to go.
She watched as the boys sobered the girls up. She watched Nick and Isaac play the role of dashing heroes.
Nick was light and carefree, but inside he was secretly peeved. He had hoped that the fact that he'd come to their rescue would make them feel gratuitous. But Isaac was there like a giant cockblock doing his annoying good-guy spiel. So Nick thought of what Emily and Maya had done in the closet together, banking the memory and holding on to it for later.
He never said anything to Emily…never told her he knew about her sexuality. He didn't see the point in telling her. He held on to it.
He was good at secrets. He knew how to keep them. He also knew how to use them against people, something he would do years later in a sleepy little town on the east coast.
o ~ O ~ o
The next day Courtney cornered Nick at school. She dragged him into the supply closet.
"Whoa there, sugar." He'd given her a cheeky smirk. "Slow it down. Isaac's my boy. Can't have him mad at me for putting my hands on his sister."
"I'm not some fucking virtuous prude, Nicolas." To prove a point she pressed her body hard against his, rubbing her thigh against him, thinking about how receptive he'd been in that hot tub. "But you know that already, don't you? You're just playing with me…"
He held his hands up, trying hard as hell to stay hands-off, but she had him biting his lip so hard he nearly drew blood.
"I would never..." But he was grinning. "So, I'm guessing that the hot tub wasn't a one-off?"
He hadn't expected her to seek him out that night. He'd just wanted peace and quiet. But when she'd sauntered out towards him and de-robed it had changed something inside of him.
He'd let her take control. He'd needed it so badly. It would forever be seared into his memories. It had wiped the drama about his family completely from his mind. It had given him something else to think about. And in a way, it had made him feel things for her. Things he couldn't control.
Courtney smashed her lips against his. She wasn't delicate. She was never delicate. She held him down long enough that he lost his breath. When she finally pulled away he looked at her inquisitively.
"What's this about?"
"I saw you at the party." She put her hands against his chest, tracing his muscles.
"Yeah? So? Me and a hundred other people."
"I need you to do me a favor."
"Depends on what it is."
Before he could say anything else she yanked his zipper down and slipped her hand into his boxers.
He smacked his head against the wall and let out a surprised gasp. She had him by the balls, quite literally. He would have let her lead him anywhere. He would have slaughtered an entire town for her at that point.
"That girl. Emily. The one on the swim team with me…"
"Yeah? The new…" He huffed out an uneven breath. Courtney was particularly good with her hands. "…the new swim anchor? Ahh…" She applied too much pressure and dug her nails in.
It hurt, but in a good way
"That anchor spot is MINE." What she'd really been thinking was 'Emily is mine'. "I want Emily out of the way. Or at least off of her game. Get rid of that Maya girl. The one she likes so much."
"H-how…" He could barely concentrate. He didn't have the brainpower to operate his brain and his body at the same time.
"You're a clever boy. I've seen you hack the school computers. I know you can figure it out."
He felt his body jerk and he lost control. He grabbed on to the shelving unit and knocked his head back against the wall, causing stars in his field of vision.
The closet was quiet except for the sounds of his heavy breaths.
"Well?" she questioned.
He slowly lowered his head and smiled at her.
"I might need a little more convincing."
She smiled at him and lowered herself down to her knees.
The girl popped off at the mouth a lot, but she knew how to use it where it really mattered.
He was happy to do her bidding. It was a win-win. Courtney would probably offer more favors. And getting rid of Maya would free Emily up.
That afternoon he was rooting through Maya's things, planting drugs that didn't belong to her in her closet.
He almost got caught when Emily and Maya came into her bedroom. He'd slipped into the closet and held his breath.
"We have to be more careful. My mom almost caught us." Emily seemed to be in a panic.
"Wouldn't have stopped me." Maya grinned and pulled Emily towards her bed.
They plopped on to the mattress, both of them giggling. Emily pulled Maya in for an innocent peck on the lips. She smiled sweetly at Maya.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could be myself around them, but my parents won't understand. They're not cool like your parents."
"I care about you, so I can wait." Maya leaned in to Emily for a deeper kiss.
Their kisses escalated. Fingers drifted up shirts and into pants. Soft moans filled the air. He watched them make out, and then fall asleep in each other's arms. It was insanely hot, but also kind of cute. It made him think twice about what he was doing. But only for a few seconds.
Once they were asleep he slipped out of the room. He stopped and planted some drug paraphernalia where her parents could find it and then walked out of the house.
The next night Maya was all over the school gossip site. Word had spread fast that she'd been found with a bunch of heavy drugs.
Maya's parents flipped out. Apparently, addiction ran in her family so they took drastic action.
Nick didn't have anything against Maya. He hadn't meant to get her sent away, but it worked out in his favor.
Courtney had been so pleased that she let him fuck her in the school stairwell. It was full of a strange angry passion. She'd been really freaky, choking him until he'd nearly passed out.
Things had sparked from there. Their relationship had started out purely sexual. Courtney had a way of talking him in to things. She was charming. Fun. Influential. But she had a dark side. It made her more appealing.
He started to feel attracted to her. And it wasn't just his dick talking anymore.
Things were looking up for him. He was planning for his future. He had a good girl. And he'd made headway in finding his half-brother.
He'd tracked the DNA results to Buffalo, New York. From there, he discovered that his biological father had purchased properties under an alias. He started looking at colleges in New York. He knew that with his grades he could go to any school of his choosing.
When he got further into his research he was able to track his brother down in Pennsylvania. He'd sent him a letter with the DNA results.
He hadn't heard back for months. It was a strange feeling to know he had family out there that he didn't know.
As time passed he lost hope that he might hear back from his brother. He started building some semblance of a life and a family with Courtney. They grew closer. He even told her about his brother.
She told him to be patient. She told him that maybe his brother just needed time.
He didn't know that Courtney already knew about Darren Wilden. She knew everything about Nick. She watched him more than he realized. She tracked his every move.
She'd reached out to Darren, knowing exactly what type of man he was. She'd stalked his profile. She could tell he had an eye for younger girls. She knew that she could draw him in and bring him into Nick's world.
She'd laid a trap for Darren, and he'd fallen into it. All she had to do was send him a racy picture of herself.
They'd talked for a few weeks. Then she casually dropped the information about Nick. It made Darren feel more inclined to reach out to his brother.
Her intentions were to use it as another distraction to keep Nick and Emily away from each other.
It worked for a while. When Darren and Nick started talking he was so busy getting to know him that he rarely ever hung out with Emily.
But that didn't last for long.
Emily started gravitating towards him more with Maya out of the picture.
She was different. Darker. Her newfound personality turned on everyone around her. Courtney liked to watch from the shadows as she tinkered with her bike in the hot Texas sun. Sweat would drip down her body, soaking her clothes, making it cling to her perfect figure.
Nick started going on rides with her. After one trip she asked him if he would help her dye her hair.
"That's not up to military code," he'd teased.
"That's why I want to do it."
She was so sullen that day. They'd taken a drive through the backroads. They'd stopped to look at the lake. She had stared at the water for the longest time, like it held some kind of answer to her problems.
"You ever think about just disappearing?" she'd asked.
Her tone had alarmed him.
"You mean like...running away?"
"Sure," she'd shrugged. "Start over, brand new."
"Problems are going to follow you no matter where you go. Trust me. Take it from a screwed up kid."
"You're not screwed up."
There was a beat of silence.
"Emily, are you okay?"
She'd forced a smile.
"Don't listen to me. I'm just being a girl."
But he knew it was more than that. He knew what Maya meant to her. She'd been really moody since she'd lost her little girlfriend.
After her brief emo phase she started rebelling a lot more, which he got a kick out of.
Two months after she started dyeing her hair they'd gone to a tattoo parlor. Emily had a fake ID and a friend in Nick's cousin, who had hooked her up with the ink she wanted.
Courtney was livid when they started hanging out more. She had to up her game with him, make him really crave her attention.
Emily saw them together all the time. Since Nick lived next door, Courtney was constantly crossing paths with her.
Courtney purposely left the blinds open when she was with Nick in his bedroom, because she knew it faced Emily's room. She deliberately made sure Emily could see them every time she did things with him. She wanted Emily to know she was in control.
At school the blonde made a show of hanging all over him, hoping that would alienate Emily.
But Emily wasn't deterred. Nick was her friend. They continued to drift in and out of each other's orbit, but every time they seemed to be getting close Courtney would come out of left field, begging for his attention.
He hated to admit that he liked her attention, but he was a man with needs. And he wasn't getting the physical aspect from Emily. So he buried himself in Courtney.
The girl was wild as hell. One day at his house she'd scratched the shit out of his chest. He was too busy in the moment that he didn't realize she was peering in Emily's window. It had given her extra momentum. She thought about what Emily could to do her in the bedroom. If she closed her eyes and ignored the noises Nick made she could picture the brunette.
She had everyone right where she wanted them. It was perfect. Emily was isolated because she couldn't tell anyone the truth about Maya. And Nick was in her clutches, completely under her spell.
Emily faded into the shadows, but her mysterious ways made people flock to her. Her popularity soared.
Emily and Isaac started dating, which threw a wrench in Courtney's plans. She'd been so focused on keeping Nick away from Emily that she'd completely missed how close her brother was getting to the brunette.
Courtney didn't like Emily's newfound popularity, and she despised the fact that her brother had taken something that belonged to her. She'd tried to teach him when he was little what would happen if he took one of her toys. He hadn't listened then, and he wasn't listening now.
She knew she had to do something drastic to let Emily know that she was still in charge. She wanted to knock her down a peg or two.
She'd been watching Emily for almost a year. She knew exactly what made her tic. Her Achilles heel was kindness. When people were nice to her she couldn't help but reciprocate.
One day after practice she approached Emily with a sports drink to help replenish her electrolytes.
"I had an extra in my bag." Courtney offered the drink to her.
Emily looked at her skeptically.
"Thanks." Emily put the drink down and grabbed her towel.
Courtney plopped down on the bottom bleacher.
"Your times were super impressive today." Courtney ripped open a power bar. "Have you been working on your form?"
"Yeah."
"How'd you shed that extra tenth of a second in the last leg?" Courtney tried to keep the conversation going.
"I'm doing this new work out with dolphin sets and high elbow shoulder rotations." Emily rubbed her ears with her towel to try and get the water out of them.
"You're kicking ass out there. We're going to dominate the meet this weekend. You're really a force to be reckoned with."
Emily looked at Courtney like she'd lost her mind.
Flattery was getting her nowhere. Emily wasn't a prideful person. She didn't swim because she was competitive. She swam because she loved it.
Courtney tried changing topics.
"Hey, so…I was wondering if maybe we could train together this week. I feel like I could learn a lot from you."
Emily thought the request was odd, but since they were a team she didn't want to turn her down.
"I like to come in early before school starts." She grabbed the drink Courtney brought her. Courtney was delighted that she was taking the bait. "You're welcome to join me."
"That sounds awesome. I'll bring the yogurt parfait and snacks for afterwards."
She'd showed up bright and early, pretending to be Emily's friend.
Slowly, but surely, the brunette started to let her in.
For weeks, Courtney played her game. They swam together every morning. She was nice to her during practice. She offered her drinks and snacks. She even offered to ice her neck and shoulders after long grueling practices.
She earned her trust by being warm and receptive to her. Every so often she would flirt with her. She was always met with eagerness, yet confusion. Courtney could tell that Emily was attracted to her.
One afternoon after swim practice she lured Emily into the locker room after everyone else had already changed and gone home.
As they were changing she noticed Emily looking at her. She couldn't help but feel smug. She felt like taking a picture so she could taunt her brother, hold it over his head that Emily liked her more than she liked him. She had the brunette wrapped around her finger.
She smiled at Emily and sauntered over to her, her towel drooping. She licked her lips and held her bra out to Emily.
"Would you mind? It's hard to clasp in the back."
She dropped her towel, watching Emily's face. Emily tried to look away, but Courtney caught her admiring her.
Freak, she thought to herself.
When she turned away from Emily she could feel her eyes burning a hole in her exposed back.
Naughty. So naughty.
Her skin prickled, little goosebumps forming all over her body as Emily's fingers delicately swept her hair aside.
Courtney hadn't expected to feel anything, but Emily's touch sent a pang of pleasure shooting down her spine, a warm hot feeling in her belly. She felt herself pulsing. She had to bite her tongue to suppress a moan.
It angered her. Emily wasn't supposed to have the control. She was.
By the time Emily got the bra hooked Courtney was ready to strike. She turned around to face her.
She looked into her kind brown eyes, and she hated her. She hated what she represented. She hated the way Emily made her feel.
It wasn't right.
Emily was poison.
But she was a sweet poison that she had to taste. She had to have her. She didn't care if it killed her.
She lurched forward and smashed her lips against Emily's. Her hand shot up to Emily's cheek. She ran her fingers through her hair. It was soft and silky. It smelled like chlorine and lavender.
She added some flavor into the kiss by moaning into Emily's mouth and shoving her tongue forward.
Emily didn't pull away. It was the ammo that Courtney needed.
She grinned maliciously as she broke the kiss.
She had Emily's secrets. She held the key to controlling her.
Now that she had her heart, all she had to do was destroy it. Crush it. She wanted to mangle it so badly that Emily could never feel hope again.
"Stay in your own lane, bitch." The words were worse than any physical pain she could have caused.
She saw something in Emily crack. She saw the instant her heart actually split in two. It was the biggest turn on of her life.
She didn't give Emily a chance to respond as she turned on her heels and skipped away.
o ~ O ~ o
The next day Courtney didn't show up for their morning swim. She was back to her snide comments during practice.
She could see the damage she'd done to Emily. She was hurt. Wounded. A little baby bird with crushed wings, clipped so she could never fly again.
Emily was off her game at practice, but she stayed late, like she always did. Courtney could tell she was swimming off her frustrations.
As always, her strokes were perfect. Her strong tan body cut through the water, creating ripples all around her.
There was something mesmerizing about the way her body moved. She flowed so naturally. It was easy to imagine that she'd create beautiful waves underneath the sheets.
Courtney could still taste Emily's lips on hers. She was starting to have impure thoughts about that body…that strong body on top of hers. She could feel Emily's skin against hers. She closed her eyes and could see flashes of their flesh.
It made her squirm. She rubbed her thighs together to relieve some building pressure. She didn't understand what was happening.
She needed to find Nick as soon as possible. She needed him to make her feel something.
But he never had. He never would. She liked seeing him squirm, but it didn't give her the same rush that being with Emily gave her.
Why did Emily make her feel things?
It didn't make any sense. Her feelings were pulling her in two different directions, ripping her apart.
It was infuriating. She had to make it stop.
She waited until Emily was totally underwater near the middle of the pool and then she'd walked to the edge of her lane, waiting for her.
After Emily finished her lap she tried to come up for air, but Courtney grabbed her, digging her nails into her shoulders, shoving her under the surface.
She could hear Emily screaming as she struggled against her. Her body was writhing in fear. Emily clawed at Courtney's arms. The pain gave her a rush. The hot feeling in her belly traveled down in between her legs as she watched Emily struggle.
She could feel the life slipping out of her.
Unclean. She's unclean filth.
She pushed her to the brink of passing out, but showed her mercy in finally letting her up for air.
Emily shot up out of the water choking, gasping for air.
"What the hell, Courtney?" She was pissed.
It turned Courtney on. Pissed Emily was unpredictable. Pissed Emily was the real Emily. The Emily she hid inside of herself.
"You're a freak of nature, Fields." She shoved her forehead backwards. "Consider this your Baptism."
She turned away, satisfied. As she was walking away she heard a loud splash as Emily pulled herself out of the pool.
She spun around just in time to see Emily getting ready to body slam her against the pool mat. Seconds later Emily was on top of her, straddling her body, breathing heavily.
Courtney lifted her arm to claw at her face, but Emily was quicker. She grabbed her wrists and pinned them down, her heavy body weight against Courtney's smaller frame.
Despite being in the water, she was warm. The flesh of her thighs against Courtney's was hot. Courtney could feel a warm damp wetness in between her legs.
Emily's nose flared in anger. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling, her breasts heaving with each breath. Courtney watched her chest, watched the motion of it. She wanted to touch her. She wanted to feel her.
She was pretty certain she could feel Emily's pelvis rubbing against her. She wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but it made her see stars.
Courtney waited on Emily to punish her. She'd been bad. And she was more than certain that Emily could dole out something amazing to get back at her, because even though Emily pretended to be self-righteous…she was dark and twisted. She was a sinner.
Courtney's wet bathing suit was clinging to her, touching an area that was sensitive. She couldn't tell if the suit was wet or if it was something else.
She felt Emily's thighs against her pelvis. Her body jerked in response, especially when they clashed together. She desperately wanted to feel more.
Emily looked angry. Ready to kill. The fiery passion in her gaze ignited something in Courtney.
My beautiful Killer…
Courtney smiled at her, licking her lips, inviting her to do more than just kiss her. She wanted Emily to fuck with her. She wanted to be wrecked by her.
Emily refrained from hitting her, but she squeezed her wrists hard enough to leave a mark. She moved to her feet, towering over the blonde, her breath still heavy. She was like a Goddess of the sea. The danger in her eyes was all that Courtney could see. She could get lost in the dark angry waters of Emily Fields.
"Get up." Emily ordered.
Courtney didn't move. She watched the brunette carefully.
Emily curled her fingers into a fist. Courtney smiled up at her.
Do it. Show me how bad you are.
Emily dropped her arm, loosening her fist. Then she let out a frustrated groan as she turned to walk away without saying another word.
She left Courtney there, lying against the ground, cold and confused. The blonde had a hard time trying to reconcile the mixed emotions she was dealing with.
She sat up and stared at the angry red marks that Emily had left on her wrists. She traced her fingers across the edges of the blemishes.
When Nick came to pick her up from practice she dragged him into the girl's locker room to try and cleanse herself of the impurity.
She wasn't gentle with him. She never was. She'd grabbed his hair roughly, her fingertips sliding through it. It was greasy and unkempt and it smelled like ash and sweat. It was nothing like Emily's hair.
She closed her eyes and huffed out a breath, trying to get Emily out of her mind, but the picture of the brunette was burned into her brain. Her hot lips. Her smooth cheek. The smell of her hair.
She bit down roughly on Nick's lip, imagining holding Emily so close…so dear.
But then she remembered that Emily had thrown her away like garbage. She had left her by the side of the pool.
She'd rejected her.
"Tell me you want me," she'd begged Nick.
"Baby…you know I do."
It was all she needed to hear.
When she was done with him he'd barely been able to stand upright. As he was zipping up his jeans and Courtney was pulling on her shorts Nick glanced at her,
"You're on the pill, right?"
"What?" She seemed totally uninterested in him. He didn't notice.
"I've been super careful, but…I mean…I don't know…if we're going to keep going at it like this we should probably be taking precautions. Aren't all girls like…you know…can't they just get free shit from the health clinic?"
Courtney smiled at him, a wicked look in her eyes.
"I'm taking care of it, baby." She leaned forward and kissed him sweetly.
It was out of character. She didn't normally care to give him extra affection. The action sparked a different kind of reaction in his body.
Courtney was busy using him as a means to an end, but he was falling in love with her.
That was before he found out she was lying to him. It was before everything started to fall apart.
He had been so focused on his future that he didn't even realize his present was spiraling out of control.
o ~ O ~ o
Courtney's attitude changed after Nick got into NYU. She started fighting with him more. She argued against him going. Losing Nick to college made her regret the fact that she had failed second grade. If she hadn't she would be going off to college with him.
She had been hoping he'd choose somewhere close to home…that she could convince him to stay with the promise of sex.
He chose NYU. He wanted to study computers. He wanted to be close to his family on the east coast. He wanted to know Darren better.
She'd regretted getting in touch with Darren. She'd regretted giving Nick an excuse to leave her.
He had brains, and he had money that his biological father had left him in a trust fund. He could do anything, go anywhere.
When Courtney realized he was leaving after their senior year she knew that she had to do something to stop him.
So she'd weaponized sex. She tricked him into getting her pregnant. She knew he'd have to stay if they had a baby to take care of.
The test had popped positive a few weeks before Thanksgiving. She'd waited a month to tell him.
When Nick first found out she'd lied about being on birth control he was furious. It made for a very tense holiday season.
Things had escalated the weekend of the church Christmas party. They had been fighting all day. They were so lost in their own little world that they didn't know that Emily was watching them.
It all came to a head after the dinner.
Courtney had dragged him outside with every intention of just humping it all away. There had never been a problem she couldn't solve with sex.
But he resisted her.
"Come on, how long are you going to hold this over my head?" she'd pouted.
"How about the rest of our lives?" Because they were going to be tied together for the rest of their lives with a child.
"Why are you acting like such a baby?" Courtney grumbled.
He glared at her. It was a poor choice of words. Baby.
"You lied to me."
He was angry. He was beyond angry. It was a little intimidating. Courtney saw his fingers flinch. She thought he was going to raise his fist and hit her. He'd never been violent, but as she watched the conflicting emotions on his face she wondered if he was capable of it. It wasn't as exciting as drawing out the inner rebel in Emily.
She rubbed his arm and then wrapped her arms around his neck. She'd done her best to look vulnerable.
"I don't want to fight with you. Let me take care of you."
He continued to rebuff her, and she continued to argue with him.
"It's not that big of a deal." She traced her fingertips against his chiseled jaw.
He laughed sardonically. Not that big of a deal? She was fucking pregnant.
"I need a cigarette," he reached into his pocket and pulled out his tobacco pack. He stared at her. He couldn't smoke around her now. It wasn't good for the baby. "Courtney, just go back inside. Give me some goddamn time to think."
He finally pushed back hard enough. Courtney stormed off in a huff, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
He listened to the sound of her heels receding in the distance. And he couldn't help but think that he still loved the crazy bitch.
His head was spinning. He was going to be a dad. It was too much to process. He'd always wanted kids, but he'd wanted them in his own time. He'd wanted to be a father his children could look up to. Not like the sorry pathetic excuse of a father who'd lied to him his whole life about his heritage, or the father he didn't even know he had. He had been unfortunate enough to have not one, but two shitty fathers.
He ripped into his cigarettes, but that the nicotine wasn't enough, so he pulled out a joint and puffed on that and took a walk, ending up by the dumpster.
That's where Emily ran into him. She tossed some garbage.
He thought she was going to walk away, but after a few seconds she turned to face him.
"You okay?"
He was in no mood to talk to anyone, but Emily had always been a pretty cool chick. He wasn't even sure where to begin the conversation. He took several drags of his cigarette before finally breaking the silence.
"Let me ask you something. Are all women completely insane?"
She didn't look intimidated by the question. Of course she didn't look intimidated. She was perfect. He'd really missed the boat with her. Isaac had lucked out ending up with her.
Sometimes he hated himself for not pushing harder to end up with her. He hated that they'd never had a chance to hook up. She never would have tricked him into a pregnancy, though little did he know that months later she would have a baby on board.
"Not ALL women, but we are pre-dispositioned to have a LITTLE bit of crazy hardwired into our genes. It's a sliding scale. We range from 'throwing an empty toilet paper roll at your head' mad to 'blowing up your car' insanity."
Emily had done the impossible. She made him laugh. He loosened up as they chatted for a few seconds, but then Emily asked the dreaded question,
"Did something happen with Courtney?"
The mention of her name sent him crashing back into reality. He opened his mouth. He thought about telling her, but at the last second he decided against it.
"Nah. She's just…" She was just what? Unhinged? A liar? Pregnant? "She's just Courtney."
He hated that he loved her. He hated that she'd lied to him. He was angry, but at the same time he didn't want to let her go.
"I knew what I was getting into with her." He'd known that she was going to drag him on her wild ride. He'd signed up for it.
Because of his stupid goddamned dick.
And because he loved her.
He was willing to take the good with the bad.
"What do you mean?" Emily asked.
He'd played around with his cigarettes before answering. How was he supposed to explain it to her?
He asked her if she remembered the story they'd heard in Bible camp about the Scorpion and the Frog. They rehashed the tale about a scorpion asking a frog to take it across the river. The scorpion had promised not to sting him, but when they got halfway across the river the scorpion stung them and they both drowned. Nick felt like the frog.
"That story was so jacked up, because the scorpion wouldn't even own up to it." Emily frowned. "He just told the frog it was his nature. And so...what? You can't change nature? You can't fight it if you're alive and sentient? That's just stupid. People who hurt other people are just as bad as that shithead scorpion."
"Yeah." Nick nodded in agreement.
"So, did you get stung?" She'd leaned next to him on the dumpster.
Courtney had done more than just sting him. She had betrayed him.
Yet, he still wanted to be with her.
"She's Courtney." The girl lied to him. She'd tricked him into getting her pregnant. But she had his heart. "I can't be mad. She's my girl. No matter what kind of crazy shit she pulls. I'm in it with her, you know? For the long game."
He wouldn't abandon her. He wouldn't abandon his child. He would figure out something to make it work.
"We're all so young. It's hard to know where we'll be in a few months...or years," Emily admitted.
Nick knew exactly where he'd be. Baby daddy with his baby mama and her drama.
"I already know I'll be with Courtney. Til Death Do Us Part."
"Are you two thinking about marriage?"
The topic freaked him out more than the pregnancy. Tied down to one woman the rest of his life? He saw what marriage did to people. His parents despised one another.
He retreated into the silence. Emily could tell that he wanted to be alone, so she went back inside.
He was distant when he came back inside. Courtney had approached him, but he still wasn't ready to forgive her.
She lingered around Isaac and Emily for a while. She heard them talking about sneaking off to see a band that Emily liked at some bar outside of town.
She strong-armed her brother into tickets, threatening to tell their parents if he didn't let Nick and her tag along.
Really, she just wanted to keep an eye on Emily…keep her away from Isaac. They were fucking now, and Courtney was pissed off about it.
Emily was such a little slut. But her brother had no idea how to please her. She'd seen them go at it a few times. Emily looked miserable when they were together.
She always looked uncomfortable when they were close.
Courtney saw her cringing that night at the bar when they were slow dancing.
They didn't dance for long though. To Courtney's delight, Emily got sick from drinking too much alcohol so she'd ended up sitting at a table off to the side.
Nick noticed that Courtney was behaving erratically. He assumed it was because of their fight. He didn't know it was because she'd been watching Emily all night. The way her face gleamed in the low lightning. The way her ass was tight and pert on the dance floor. Her long lanky legs.
Courtney felt a flush of heat rush to her face. There was a fluttering sensation in her stomach. She'd yanked Nick off of the dance floor and pulled him off into a dark corner.
She was desperate to get into his pants. She didn't care that they were out in the open.
She kissed him harshly, biting down on his lip and arching her body into his. He was high and drunk and horny as fuck, so when Courtney started leading the encounter he let her.
"You're so fucking sexy." He pecked her lips and pushed her into the wall.
Courtney peered over his shoulder. She saw Emily watching them.
That's right you little slut. She thought to herself. Get mad. He's taking me like you could NEVER take me.
Courtney pulled him forward as she continued moving her hand against him.
He didn't even realize that she watching Emily. He forgot his anger. He forgot everything. He laid his forehead against hers. His hormones took control.
While he was in a euphoric heaven Courtney had her eyes trained on the dark-eyed girl in the booth.
She likes it. She likes what she sees. Fucking dirty little bitch.
Her eyes met Emily's. The expression on her face was too far away to read in the dim lighting, but Courtney could feel her eyes on them.
She let out a seductive whimper, more fodder for Nick to work with. It was loud enough that she knew Emily would hear it, too.
She wrapped her hand around the back of Nick's neck, tangling her fingers in his hair as she continued to stare at Emily.
She wanted the brunette to know she was being bad. She didn't like it when Emily ignored her. She had to take drastic measures to get her to pay attention. She had to make Emily want her in the same way Nick wanted her.
She used Nick as a toy every chance she got. She would get him all hot and bothered when she knew Emily was paying attention. She'd make her watch. Because she knew it would get under her skin…her beautiful bronze skin that was screaming to be touched…to be kissed…nipped…licked.
God, she was fucking perfect.
Everything about her was perfect.
She grabbed Nick's ass, pulling him closer. Their bodies were flush. Her back was pressed hard against the wall.
"You know what I want." She let out a hot breath against Nick's neck, quietly ghosting her lips over his ear lobe. "Don't be gentle."
All the softness of the encounter was gone. He did exactly what she asked. She knew he would. Boys were predictable like that. Not like girls. Girls were more intuitive. More sensing.
Nick got lost in that moment. He was so caught up in his own high that he didn't he didn't hear her whisper Emily's name as she shuddered in his arms. He didn't know that every time they were together she was picturing Emily. He didn't know that she didn't love him.
Once they were finished they stayed in their embrace for a few minutes, trying to come down from it.
When Nick's pleasure dissipated all of his emotions came rushing back to him. All of the anger and frustration about being lied to started to manifest again.
Courtney giggled and played with his hair. It infuriated him. Courtney had changed the subject with sex. She hadn't respected his feelings.
"I love you, Nicky." Courtney kissed him.
"Don't pull that shit with me. You think you can just flaunt your ass at me? You REALLY think this makes things okay?"
"Can we just forget it? I thought we could move forward, as a family." Courtney bit her lip and tried to pull him closer. "Please?"
"No," he moved away. He tightened his buckle. "I don't know what you want from me, Court. I really don't. You can't just fuck this away."
"Why not?"
"Because you LIED to me! You said you were on the pill! You said you were taking care of it! You promised you were taking precautions." Nick raised his arms and flippantly threw them in the air. "But you didn't, and you LIED to me about it! Do you know how fucked up that is?"
"I thought you loved me. I thought we could be a family."
"So then why the hell didn't you wait? Or talk to me about it? I deserved to have a say in this! I've got plans. I've got NYU. What are we going to do? What are we supposed to do about our future, huh?"
Courtney threw her hands up in annoyance.
"I don't know!"
"This is low, even for you. I don't know what you were thinking. A fucking KID?"
He turned away from her, but Courtney grabbed his arm. She looked at him, pleading with him.
"I don't want to lose you." Courtney gripped his bicep tightly, trying to draw him in with her eyes. "This child is a part of you. A part of us…" She touched her stomach. "This is good for us."
Her sex appeal always worked for her, but this time he just jerked away from her and shook his head.
"Of course I care about this child. I will be responsible." He leaned forward and sighed, resting his forehead against hers, "But this doesn't change anything. This doesn't change my mind about New York. It never would have."
"But I love you." Her bottom lip trembled. She tried to pull him in with her vulnerability. She was working every angle she had.
"I know you do. But I need some time."
The passion and the intensity of their encounter radiated off of them. The sharp ups and downs of the fire between them being doused by freezing water created a cool tepid steam between them.
There was passion…desire…embers burning brightly. Then there was a sudden icy chill.
After a few minutes the intensity between them died down. There was a common middle ground they'd seemed to find, a strange phenomenon between hot and cold that they mutually reached.
Nick pulled away, pain in his eyes. He gently cupped Courtney's cheek and kissed her forehead.
"God help me, I still love you. But this hurts, Courtney. You can't just expect me to forgive you and move on from this."
"Please…"
But he was already moving away from her, muttering something about a cigarette.
Watching him walk away perplexed her. She thought she'd feel something, but she didn't.
Nick didn't make her feel a damn thing.
She was having his baby, but she felt nothing for him.
She looked over and saw Emily staring at her. Something inside of her stirred.
Emily had no right to violate her in such an intimate way. She had no right to look at her…to make her feel immoral things.
She wanted it to stop, but at the same time she didn't. She hated Emily, but she didn't hate her. She loved her, but she couldn't love her. It wasn't right.
She stormed towards the unsuspecting brunette, sneering at her.
"What are you looking at?" Courtney hissed as she walked by the table. "Enjoy the show, perv?"
She didn't give her a chance to respond. She just disappeared in a huff, running into the bathroom.
She paced the floor, stopping every so often to look at her reflection in the mirror.
She didn't understand. She didn't understand why Emily didn't like her. But she didn't want her to like her.
Her brain hurt. She felt broken.
She stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't recognize her reflection. She got angry, her eyes welling up with tears. She felt like throwing her fist at herself.
She let out a grunt of frustration.
It was Emily's fault. Emily had done something to her.
She couldn't stop the tears. She wiped at her cheeks furiously. She didn't even hear the door open.
When she looked up at the mirror, behind her stood the last person in the world she wanted to see her cry.
It had to be Emily fucking Fields.
She wasted no time in lashing out, accusing Emily of spying on her. Emily shrugged her attack off like it was nothing.
Emily turned it around on Courtney.
"I'm not following you. If anything, YOU followed us here."
"As if. You're not the only one in town who likes good music." Courtney argued.
"What do you even know about the band?"
"I know what YOU like about them." Courtney raised a conspicuous brow at her, taunting her. She ran her fingers along the edge of the sink with a smirk on her face. She knew how to take her heart and twist it. Maya. "You have a thing for girls in bands, don't you? A certain…affinity for pretty musicians. Real unfortunate that they have reputations for being so…flighty."
She smirked. She'd successfully gotten rid of that hippie bohemian bitch.
She saw something flash across Emily's face. It was a monster she recognized. Because she saw it in her eyes in her reflection every day.
She and Emily were the same.
She clawed at Emily's invisible bleeding wounds, knowing that talking about Maya would hit her where it hurt.
The brunette's cheeks flushed in anger. She lunged forward, causing a rush of heat to pool in Courtney's stomach. She was close. So close. She could smell her.
She liked the danger.
Courtney looked at the fire in her eyes and started breathing heavily. It was the same look Emily had on her face the day she'd pinned her to the mat beside the pool.
"You know what? Go to hell, Courtney." She pushed her face dangerously close to Courtney's face, the tension and intensity of her tone dripping with venom.
A sweet poison. A lethal apple in the pure garden she would eat any day.
Courtney was frozen in place. She felt a budding explosion of emotions paralyzing her. Emily had several inches on her in height. She was more stout and buff, too. She had a lot of muscle and a lot of stamina. She'd also seen what Emily was like when she was unhinged.
Dangerous.
Courtney shuddered, her veins full of a heated liquid that was drowning her senses.
She could taste Emily's sweet breath. Their lips were practically touching. Her eyes darted down to take in the sight of Emily's mouth…her hardened jaw. Courtney's lips were tingling. Her urges were yelling at her, ordering her to do it. She didn't want to, but she had to.
She could see the wild look in Emily's eyes. She knew she was in dangerous territory, but she continued to provoke her anyway. She poked an accusatory finger into Emily's face and continued to antagonize her.
They verbally sparred for several minutes. They met each other, blow for blow, but then Emily said something that got under Courtney's skin.
"Eventually you're going to end up all alone. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself. You're pathetic, Courtney."
"And you think you're so great? Little Miss Perfect Swim Anchor. How would your parents react if they knew your dirty little secrets? Then you'd be just as alone as I am."
"Maybe. But at the end of the day, I'll still have people who love me. At least I have a loving boyfriend. No one will ever love you. Your boyfriend can't even stand to touch you..."
Courtney reached up with the speed and accuracy of a snake striking in the wild. Her palm made contact with Emily's cheek, leaving an angry red mark in its wake.
Courtney didn't even see Emily's hand coming, but she struck back, smacking her hard.
She gasped and drew her hand up towards her face, crying out in surprise. She cupped her cheek for a few seconds, feeling the heat that Emily's hand had left there.
Emily had crossed the line. She had to be punished.
Courtney let out a feral growl. She bared her teeth at the brunette and threw her palms against her shoulders.
They swirled around the bathroom, fighting for dominance. Courtney dug her fingernails into Emily's skin, then reached up and grabbed her by her hair, yanking her head aggressively.
Her adrenaline was pumping. Her hormones were raging. She had one part of her brain telling her to kill her, but another part telling her to fuck her. To claim her. To make it so that her brother, or no other person, would ever want to touch her again.
Mine.
She tightened her grip on Emily's hair, moving her head with ease, exposing her neck…her beautifully kissable neck.
When she leaned forward she could smell Emily's scent, but it was tainted with her brother's aftershave.
"You're such a bitch," she said, but her thoughts told her taste her, claim her, make her see who she really is. Make her yours.
She leaned closer,
"I hate you."
She let go of Emily's wrist and put her palm against the other side of Emily's neck. Then she pressed her lips against the smooth skin there.
She could taste the salty mixture of her perspiration. She tasted so pure. And clean. She was like a forbidden fruit. Beautiful. Dangerous. She slid her tongue against her skin and gently nipped at her neck.
She's mine. All mine. Mine, mine, mine.
Courtney angrily peppered kisses against her neck and then lifted Emily's thigh and slammed her against the wall, hitching Emily's leg around her thigh.
She suckled against the skin near her ear. She bit down against her earlobe, dragging her teeth across the flesh. She slowly moved down towards her cleavage, her lips leaving a trail of heat behind them.
Courtney pulled back and peered into her soft brown eyes. They were wide and expressive, but there was a darkness in them. Courtney could practically smell her arousal.
"Who's pathetic now?"
Courtney smirked at her and mashed her lips against Emily's. She released her death grip on Emily's hair. She replaced it with a more delicate touch, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She wanted to touch her. Everywhere.
She slid her palm against Emily's hot sweaty stomach down to the waistband of her jeans as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue prodded against Emily's lips, forcing her mouth open. She took advantage of her hesitation, her tongue exploring Emily's mouth.
She wants this. She wants me.
Courtney nudged Emily's legs open and pushed her thigh in between them. She felt Emily's body jerk and she smiled into their kiss. She didn't feel Emily trying to stop her…trying to push her away.
Emily groaned, pushing Courtney to come back at her harder. She growled at her, warning her.
She needs me. This is who we are. We're broken. We only fit together. Broken. Pieces. Us. Only us.
She needed it, and she couldn't take it any longer. She didn't give Emily any warning. She shoved her hands into her panties.
Emily stopped her, pushing her away, protesting.
Their lips separated, both of them gasping and heaving. Courtney grinned and bit her lip.
It was nothing like it had been with Nick. She could still taste his mouth. Cigarettes and beer. She could still feel him. It made her feel itchy.
She felt dirty. She needed him washed away. She needed Emily to cleanse her…to take her and claim her and make her whole in a way that Nick couldn't.
She needed to feel Emily's fingers…her tongue. She wanted to taste her.
God, PLEASE. I need to feel something. I need to feel HER.
She was so empty. So alone. But Emily could fix it. She didn't want to be empty anymore.
Need.
She grabbed Emily's wrist.
Want.
She tasted her fingers. She was succulent and sweet and everything Courtney dreamed she would be.
Mine.
Was it infatuation? Desire?
She moved Emily's hand underneath her skirt, watching as her eyes slowly widened. She wanted it, too. Emily wanted her.
It was a sin.
You're going to hell.
But she didn't care. She didn't care because at that moment she was so lost in Emily. She never wanted to be found.
She moved Emily's fingers against herself. It sent shockwaves of pleasure through her body.
Her stomach clenched at the thought of Emily being inside of her. It wouldn't be like Nick. She wouldn't have to fake it. She could already feel it building.
But why?
God, fuck me. Please. Please just make this right. Make these thoughts stop. Just make it stop.
"You know you want to touch me." She breathed against Emily's face softly as she pushed Emily's fingertips in between her legs, her grip like a vice, guiding her every motion.
"Court…Courtney, we're drunk." Emily pulled her hand away, rejecting her advances.
Courtney wanted to scream at the absurdity. She wasn't drunk. She couldn't drink.
Fucking Emily Fields.
Such a liar.
Such a tease.
When the brunette pulled away from her Courtney felt the sting of rejection. The burning fires of passion raged into a destructive inferno.
The devil is rotten to the core.
The devil was trying to lead her astray. And the devil was a tall sleek brunette with perfect skin, supple lips, and beautiful eyes. But that didn't make her any less evil.
She's an abomination.
What was happening was not her fault. It wasn't her. It was what Emily was making her in to. The brunette was dragging her into a life she didn't want to be in. She was a plague, infecting her while her defenses were down.
"What the fuck was that? You think I'm in to you like THAT? You're disgusting. A disease..."
Emily was so caught off-guard by her accusation that she started stuttering and whimpering. Courtney had yanked the rug out from under her, and she was beating her with it.
Oh, sweet Emily. You're so easy. So predictable.
"What would Nick and Isaac think if they knew you'd tried to assault me?" Courtney replied, cool, calculated.
She watched as Emily spiraled. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.
Watching Emily squirm was one of Courtney's favorite things. She reached out and grasped Emily's chin roughly with her fingertips.
"The next time you think about crossing me, I want you to remember this." She squeezed Emily's jaw, glancing at the red mark she'd left on her neck. "I. Own. You."
Moments later they'd been interrupted by two drunk girls barging in. Courtney had taken the opportunity to slip out, leaving Emily to bathe in her sins alone.
The blonde rushed away from the bathroom, breathing hard. The encounter had left her more shaken than she cared to admit.
She pushed her way through the crowd and found a private dressing room that was usually reserved for the band. She locked herself inside and cried while the bass thumped outside, the vibrato shaking the walls.
She was livid that she couldn't get the tears to stop flowing. She felt betrayed by her own body. She slipped her fingers underneath her skirt and tried to imagine Emily there. Her touch. Her scent.
Being rejected had hurt. She hadn't cared when Nick rejected her, but Emily telling her no had shattered something inside of her.
She felt dirty. She felt so dirty. And she couldn't get clean no matter how much she scrubbed.
She closed her eyes, trying to get Emily's stupid face out of her mind, but all she could think about was the kiss…and how close she'd been to her. She felt her in ways like she'd never felt anyone before.
Her insides were pulsing, screaming…begging.
Why can't I stop it? She wanted to scream.
Stars lined her field of vision. Her heavy breathing was drowned out by the speakers, but she heard a loud rapping at the door.
"Courtney?" She perked up, hoping that Emily had come after her. There was a break in the music and she heard her name again, "Court…let me in."
It was Nick.
Courtney rubbed her face on her sleeve, trying to wipe away the tears and the snot.
"Babe, come on."
She thought about ignoring him, but she knew he wasn't going away. She walked over to the door and unlocked it, opening it for him.
He could tell immediately that she had been crying. He'd seen that she was upset as she pushed her way through the mob of dancers outside.
He walked in and closed the door behind him. He reached up and cradled her cheeks. He very rarely saw her look so fragile. It awakened a primal urge to protect her, to comfort her.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." His gaze slowly trailed down her body until it landed on her stomach. "It's just a lot, you know? But that doesn't mean I don't love you." He put his hand on her belly. "BOTH of you."
It was crazy to him that she was having a baby. His son or daughter was growing inside of her. He had been blindsided, but that didn't mean he didn't want the baby. He knew all too well what it was like to have shitty parents. The second he found out about his baby he knew he was going to step into the fatherhood role and be someone his kid could look up to.
"You know, I've thought about it. Finding my brother has made me realize that families aren't made to be broken. We break them…as people. This child deserves a better father than BOTH of the men who were supposed to be fathers to me. I want to do right. I want my baby to know the love that I never knew."
Courtney stared at him, willing herself to feel something. She reached up to touch the stubble growing on his chin. It was rough. Emily was smooth. It was sharp. Emily was soft. She clenched her jaw in frustration, her entire body shaking.
He could feel the blonde trembling beneath his touch. She didn't say anything to him. She looked away, trying to hide her bloodshot eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You're shaking. Is everything okay? Is it the baby?" His tone was softer, kinder than it had been earlier.
Courtney shook her head.
"It's…" She fell into his embrace and sighed into his chest. It was bulky and he smelled like smoke. It was nothing like Emily. She craved her soft fleshy chest. "Emily and I had a fight."
"Christ, another one? Why can't you two just get along?"
"She's so mean to me, Nicky." She nuzzled against him. "Why is she so mean to me?"
"I don't know, baby." He rubbed her back.
She grinned into his chest. She had planted the seeds. She had made him believe that Emily was the problem.
That night was the turning point for him. Courtney found a new way to manipulate him. She played the part of the vulnerable pregnant girl. She was all too happy to step into that new role.
o ~ O ~ o
Her femininity hadn't taken long to draw him back in. He thought that he'd be angry at her forever, but he had changed his mind after the ultrasound.
The day he saw his child nothing else seemed to matter.
Courtney watched the curious little jumping bean on the screen. At first it didn't register that the baby was inside of her.
The pregnancy had started out as a ploy. She hadn't really cared about the fact that she was going to have a baby, but then she saw her child's heartbeat…and everything changed.
She was going to have a child. A little human all to herself. To love. To mold.
She suddenly felt overwhelmed. Her emotions were all over the place. She felt like she was being torn in so many different directions. She felt something in her heart that she'd never felt before.
Is this love? Is this what love is?
The night after the ultrasound she started looking at baby pictures. She browsed for names, jotting down some of her favorites. She played with an app that gave projections of what her baby would look like by morphing photos of her and Nick together.
She sent the pictures to him. He spent hours looking at them. The idea of fatherhood was intimidating, but it was also something he felt his heart opening up to.
Their relationship wasn't perfect, but the pregnancy brought them closer together. Nick took to spoiling her and babying her. He became wildly protective.
In fact, one day after an altercation at lunch he had scolded her for getting into a fight with some racist pricks that had accosted Emily and Isaac.
Courtney had completely lost it, going full-on rage-mode on them. She'd been knocked to the ground in the melee. Normally, Courtney could hold her own, but all Nick could think about was their baby.
He'd immediately jumped in to protect her. The fight had been total chaos. It had ended when Courtney dragged a girl by her hair and threw her into the trash can.
The principal had berated her, but she had been too busy staring at the two assholes who had dared utter slurs at her brother and Emily.
Nick pulled her aside afterwards, radiating concern.
"Are you sure you're okay? Looked like a pretty harsh fall." He leaned forward and quietly added, "The baby?"
"I'm not some delicate little flower. My parents told us that if anyone EVER called him that we should beat the shit out of them."
It hadn't been entirely about Isaac. It pissed her off that someone had called him the n-word, but it was just as much about Emily.
"Next time just let me handle it." He discreetly put his hand against her belly. She still wasn't showing, but Courtney could feel the lag of pregnancy. She could feel the mood swings, too.
"Fuck that. I'm going nuclear the next time I see them."
He argued with her, begged her not to put herself at risk. It infuriated her.
"Don't be such a pussy!"
"Courtney, would you just listen to me…"
"No! I don't care. No one fucks with my brother like that. Or his girlfriend."
"What about our baby?" He whispered.
"I can take care of myself. I'm not made of glass." She angrily stormed off.
She'd followed the boy and the girl who had instigated the fight, taunting them, threatening them.
They'd laughed at her.
But they hadn't been laughing days later. She'd tampered with the scaffolding at the boy's house, so when he'd gone up to work on the siding it had fallen apart and sent him crashing to the ground three stories below. He broke several bones in his body.
For the girl she went with poison. It was easy. All she had to do was overload her food with vitamins to the point where she had essentially overdosed on several of them.
She'd sent them a clear message.
Mess with Emily Fields and see what happens. Fuck around and find out.
Emily was off-limits.
Emily was hers.
o ~ O ~ o
The pregnancy progressed normally. Courtney gained a few pounds, but she hid the weight. Physically she looked normal, but she didn't feel normal in any aspect. Emotionally and mentally she was coming undone.
She saw the little subtle changes in her body. She felt her body chemistry changing. She was jittery and anxious. She was paranoid that people would find out. She was fighting a never-ending war inside her head and it was tearing her apart.
She felt lonely and depressed and angry. She thought people were judging her, so she lashed out even more-so than usual.
She could feel the subtle changes in her body. She was fatigued. The morning sickness was rough.
Nick had really stepped up to help her through the harder parts of her pregnancy. He was getting used to the idea of having a little mini Courtney or a mini him. He didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. He was totally cool with the idea of teaching either one to catch a football…or play tea party. Whatever his child desired, he would make it happen.
But then something had happened that changed the course of their lives.
He had noticed something was off about her that morning. She'd been feeling tired and sluggish, which he'd read was expected in pregnancy.
She woke up sick to her stomach before school. Her stomach was cramping when he picked her up. She looked pale and weak. She told him she thought she had the flu.
She'd been keeping him at am arm's length. He assumed it was related to mood swings, but she was keeping him away because her mind was a battlefield and she was being blown to pieces by a lanky brunette swimmer.
"You really should be in bed." He reached over to cup her cheek. "The flu isn't something you should mess around with when you're pregnant."
She batted his hand away. She was very finicky about being touched. She only wanted him when she initiated it. And even then, she didn't want him.
He hadn't noticed the pattern. He hadn't seen that it all revolved around Emily. Every time she'd dragged him off into a dark corner somewhere it had been because of Emily Fields, and the need to fill the desire that she felt, but he couldn't fill her in the way that Emily could.
She'd been in a particularly bad mood that day. She avoided Nick at school, but he showed up when she was going to swim practice. She'd been behind on her swim times. She felt like a beached whale.
"Are you seriously going to swim practice?" He grabbed her arm to catch her before she walked into the pool area. She spun around, glaring daggers at him. He let her go. "I'm worried. We should make an appointment to make sure everything is okay."
"I'm FINE." She snapped, moving towards the door again.
She felt a draft, but it wasn't from the air. It was a strange internal chill. She stumbled forward and grasped the wall for support. The room was spinning around her.
"You are NOT swimming right now…"
He stopped short when Courtney whipped her head towards him and shoved him, knocking him backwards. Her nostrils flared. She dared him to tell her what to do. He put his hands up in submission.
"It's just low blood sugar," she muttered. She stormed away from him before he had a chance to reply.
He threw his hands up in frustration and slammed his palms against the lockers. Then he'd taken a breath and walked off to get Courtney a sports drink.
He offered her the drink and sat in on practice. He was concerned that she was pushing herself too hard.
After they finished up Courtney met him in the bleachers. She sipped on a drink while he massaged her back to try and work out the kinks in her muscles from all the excess training she was doing.
"How are you feeling?" He leaned back in the bleachers, completely oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend had been staring at Emily the entire time.
"I need more water, babe."
He hopped right to it. She had him completely trained. Nick knew he was whipped. Sometimes he had dreams about her keeping his balls in a jar on top of her dresser. She'd probably make them into matching earrings.
He quickly returned with her drink and a packet of crackers. Courtney smiled and thanked him, playing the role of sickly sweet girlfriend flawlessly. It was easy for her to turn it on and off, especially since she was carrying his child. He'd really embraced his new role.
She saw Emily staring at them, and it made her feel like retracting into herself.
She knows.
The brunette had always looked at her like there was something wrong with her.
Most of the other girls had cleared out, leaving Courtney and Nick alone with Emily. Courtney wasn't surprised to hear Emily's upbeat comment to the coach about swimming more laps.
Courtney chimed in that some friendly competition would be fun. She threw her towel away from her waist and stood up. Nick grabbed her hand.
"Court…" He furrowed his brow. "You need to rest…"
She shut his concerns down and rushed back to the pool.
He watched the girls go back and forth. It didn't help that Emily and Courtney spent a fair amount of time antagonizing each other. Nick was getting increasingly annoyed with Emily. He felt protective of Courtney…of their child. Courtney thought it was going to be a girl. A daddy's girl. He would protect his little girl with his life.
Their competition got heated when Courtney accused Emily of using drugs to enhance her performance. Courtney couldn't stand that Emily was beating her times.
Nick walked over to the confrontation. He'd deescalated their arguments before. Courtney and Emily both liked him.
"Let's go again." Courtney walked towards the diving block.
Nick grabbed her arm, this time more firmly than he had in the bleachers. He looked really concerned. Courtney hadn't eaten anything all day.
"Maybe you should just call it a tie. You're pushing yourself too hard."
Courtney saw an angry explosion in her field of vision. Emily was refusing to concede. Nick was treating her like a child. And the coach was just standing there, useless.
She snarled in frustration and ripped her arm away from Nick. She stormed towards the locker rooms.
Nick and Emily followed her. He stopped at the door, peering at the image of the blocky figure in a dress painted on the wood.
He felt like chasing after her, storming into the locker room and demanding that they go home so she could get some rest.
Instead, he sent Emily in, despite the fact that he knew they didn't like each other.
He trusted her with his girl.
He would soon come to regret that trust.
He went outside for a cigarette. He didn't hear what happened next.
Courtney heard her coming. She stared at her wet bathing suit on the floor. There was a puddle of water around it. She picked at the edge of her tank top where it was overlapping her clean underwear.
She gripped the edge of the bench she was sitting on. She thought she was going to throw up. She couldn't get the girl out of her head, and it made her sick.
Emily sat down next to her. Her skin was still wet from being in the pool. Courtney felt a wave of heat roll over her.
When Emily asked her if she was okay Courtney felt a spark of emotion, a vulnerability she wasn't used to feeling. She had to turn away to hide her tears.
Emily tried to throw her a bone, tried to make her feel better about the fact that her swim times sucked lately.
"Nick says you've been fighting some kind of a super-bug. I bet that's why you were a little behind me out there…"
"I was NOT…" She whipped her head up and glared at Emily.
Emily didn't fight back. She never fought back unless Courtney made her. She had to show Emily her strengths.
No. No, it's not right. She can't do this to me.
Courtney groaned and lowered her head, digging her fists against her temples. She closed her eyes. She hated to admit that Nick was right, but she had definitely pushed herself too hard. Her stomach felt hard. It was lurching. She waited a few seconds for it to pass.
When she looked up she saw that Emily had moved closer. Her face was tight in concern.
Courtney felt an aching feeling in her chest. How could her heart be full and broken at the same time?
"Seriously…Courtney, are you okay?"
"I don't need your fake sympathy."
Emily shrugged and pursed her lips in thought.
"I'm sorry I called you a shitty swimmer out there."
"I don't recall you saying that."
"No?" The devious little smile on her face drove Courtney mad. "Maybe I just thought it."
"What other kinds of thoughts do you have?"
Emily was a wicked and perverse miscreant. Did she close her eyes and fantasize about other women? About her? Did she touch herself and pretend it was someone else?
She could just imagine Emily writhing beneath her. She could imagine holding her wrists down, making her beg for release.
She felt something pounding in her head. Emily was two sides of the same coin. She was heaven and hell.
There is something wrong with me.
But that wasn't right.
There is something wrong with HER.
Emily sat silently with Courtney, making sure she was okay. After a few minutes she asked her how she was feeling.
Emily's kindness cut in to Courtney.
She cared. She genuinely cared.
And it hurt.
It hurt so fucking much that she cared.
Because Courtney didn't know how to care back. She knew there was something broken inside of herself.
But she knew Emily's demons, too. She'd seen the rage. She'd felt it when Emily pinned her to the floor beside the pool the day she'd had her Baptism. Her uneven breaths. Her clenched jaw. The look of madness in her eyes.
She knew what Emily was truly capable of. There was something alluring about the darkness in her.
Where was that Emily? Who was this stranger?
When she played the coy little school girl it did something to Courtney that she couldn't stop. It made her want to teach that school girl a lesson.
Courtney could tell she was inviting her in for something more. The way she touched her sleek dark hair and tucked it behind her ear, the way she held herself boldly, yet timidly.
Her sweet little lamb.
When Emily finally looked up at her Courtney surged forward, capturing her lips. She could feel her thighs pulsing. Her stomach felt weird.
Courtney insisted on deepening the kiss. She didn't care that Emily was resisting. She knew she was only resisting because she was hiding her true self.
This is who you are. Embrace it.
She wasn't going to stop. Not until Emily admitted it.
When she touched Emily's leg the brunette pulled back, but Courtney didn't stop touching her. She slid her fingertips forward, moving up in between her thighs.
Emily wanted it. Courtney knew she wanted it. She could sense it.
It confused her when Emily pulled away.
"Courtney, I don't…I…I'm not…I'm with Isaac…"
A cold wave of anger washed over the blonde. The unquenchable rage she felt burned inside of her. The brunette was toying with her and she didn't like it.
She let her know that her little innocent act wasn't fooling her. She knew what she was. She knew the beast inside of her.
She taunted her, accused her of being jealous of the fact that Nick could satisfy her, which was a lie. He'd never once made her feel the way that Emily made her feel. Just the thought of the brunette did things to her body Nick could only dream of.
"You don't love my brother."
She dug her nails into Emily's thigh, cutting into her skin.
When Emily scrambled to her feet to get away Courtney grabbed her wrist.
"I've seen your face when he's on top of you. I've seen you fake it."
It's how Courtney knew they were the same. Because she felt the same hollowness in her soul when she was with Nick. Pleasure and ecstasy weren't the same thing.
"Who do you think about when he's fucking you?" She reached up to play with Emily's hair.
Emily tried to get away again. Courtney didn't understand why she was hiding from herself. She continued to taunt her. Emily cried for her to stop.
"Do you think about me…strapped and holding you down? I bet you'd take every inch of me…like the whore you are."
Courtney watched as the rage flashed across Emily's face. She saw the raw unadulterated Emily. It excited her.
The brunette slammed her against the lockers. Courtney ignored the sharp pain in her back. Her adrenaline was pumping. She honed in on Emily's bare neck. She wanted to know what it would feel like with her hands wrapped around it. She wanted to feel the vibration of her trachea as she screamed. When she lifted her hands Emily threw her against the lockers again. Something hot shot down to her core.
"There you are, Killer." Her breath came out ragged and low. "I knew you were in there somewhere. Show me who you REALLY are."
Their fight escalated. Courtney managed to get out of her stronghold. She felt something taking over her body. A strange overwhelming sensation she didn't know how to control.
Her actions didn't feel like her own. She was gone. Floating in a pool of desire she couldn't escape. She would claim her. She would push her to see. She would force her to understand who she truly was.
She didn't remember forcing her hand between Emily's thighs, but when she looked down her fingertips were underneath Emily's shorts, touching her for the very first time.
God, she felt good.
Courtney felt the stinging sensation of Emily slapping her arm harshly, shoving her away. It ripped her away from the high she was feeling.
She landed hard in reality. She saw Emily looking back at her like she was a monster.
Impure.
The fallen angel in front of her was the devil in disguise. Yet, the devil was afraid of her? It was laughable. She grinned widely.
"You're afraid of me," Emily had bad thoughts. Emily had bad thoughts just like she did. "Oh, Emmy…"
She leaned forward on her bare feet.
Mine.
It was an obsessive thought. A repetitive word that was constantly looping in her mind.
Her hand shot out and grasped Emily's jaw.
"I OWN you."
"Get away from me!" Emily raised her hands sharply and smacked Courtney's arms away.
Courtney could have taken her down. She could have ripped her bathing suit and shorts off and buried her fingers in the brunette, taking what belonged to her.
Instead, she watched, she waited. She knew that the simple threat of something happening would be enough to scare her. And the fear was intoxicating. She could practically taste it. She licked her lips.
She'll like it when I fuck her.
Emily's entire body was tense. She had her chest puffed out, her breaths quick and heavy, matching Courtney's heaving pants.
God, she's so beautiful.
Courtney was outside of herself again. She lunged forward, grabbing her arms, digging her nails into Emily's damp skin.
They were swirling around the locker room. They were in a strange seductive dance. Emily's back hit the lockers as Courtney pinned her, pressing her lips against Emily's.
Flashes of their kiss, and then…
…her fingers were underneath Emily's shorts again, prodding forward. Emily's words were lost on her lips. Courtney's mind was buzzing on a high that she'd never felt before. Her resistance felt like the right response.
"I can feel how much you want this."
Emily begged her to stop.
"I own you," she hissed again.
"Don't do this." Emily's voice cracked.
Courtney paused in her actions. She saw something in Emily's eyes, and there was a little part of her that told her to stop. Something about Emily's expression seemed grave, almost as if though she was in pain.
But it didn't make sense to her. It didn't make sense that she could feel that Emily wanted it.
Then again, what did that say about her? What did it mean that she wanted Emily? Not just to play with her. She wanted to have her…to own her.
Courtney's face fell flat, her eyes dead as she chose to ignore Emily's pleas. Because she knew that deep down they both wanted it. Her animalistic nature took over. She forced her lips on Emily's again and pushed further.
Courtney was lost in the brunette. She loved the way she smelled…the way she tasted…the way she felt. So warm. So sweaty and slick and fragrant.
But then something strange happened. There was a movement from beneath her. There was a flash of motion.
Then it was Courtney who was up against the lockers, her face pressed into the steel metal. She felt something wrenching in her stomach as Emily twisted her arm behind her back and held her in place.
It was oddly comical to her the way her body reacted to it. She bucked her hips to control the urges. She started laughing.
"Go ahead and fuck me. Prove you're the FREAK that I know you are."
"This is over." She told her to walk away. She told her never to bother her again.
Courtney resisted, so Emily twisted her arm harshly.
It hurt her. She cried out.
It was going too far. Emily was going to hurt her. Emily was going to kill her. She felt Nick's name on the edge of her tongue, but she couldn't say it.
He wouldn't have heard it anyway. He couldn't hear the scuffle. He couldn't hear Courtney pleading.
The more Courtney struggled the harder Emily was on her. It was only after Courtney promised not to retaliate that Emily let her go.
When Courtney turned around to face her she found her disheveled and red in the face. She was panting, salivating like a dog.
Courtney stared at her.
Abomination.
Something was wrong with Emily Fields.
"I know what you are." Courtney uttered, "You're going to hell."
"I'll see you there."
Courtney's body felt sore. She lifted her arm up, rotating it. She chastised Emily for trying to ruin her swimming career.
Emily called her deluded.
"You liked that kiss. I know you did. You like it when women take charge, don't you? Let's just ask Maya…" Maya St. Germain would never be coming back. "Aww, wait…guess we can't."
The slight hit Emily where it hurt. She saw the broken look in her eyes.
"You go too far, Courtney."
Courtney smirked. She had no idea. She would never let another woman near her, not so long as she was alive.
"Why won't you admit it?" Courtney tilted her neck to the side to loosen her muscles. She turned her head towards Emily and took a step forward, "You're lying to yourself. You're lying to the whole world. And I'm going to tell everyone…" She took another step forward, "…unless…" She paused and peered at her, "…you do exactly what I say."
"What do you want from me?"
Courtney wanted Emily to bow at her feet. She wanted her to worship her. To cherish her. To touch her. To fuck her. She wanted her in every way. And she wanted Emily to admit she felt the same.
But that's not what came out of her mouth,
"Quit the team. Stop hanging out with Nick. And break up with my brother. I want you out of my life."
"I'm not going to do that."
"Fine. But don't come crying to me if mommy and daddy find out that their little girl isn't the perfect little STRAIGHT-edged angel they thought she was. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll send you away."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm doing you a favor, sweetie."
"Fuck you, Courtney."
If only…
"You wish."
"I'm not going anywhere. So you're just going to have to get used to me." She stepped towards Courtney, forcing the blonde to take a step back…near the slippery puddle of water next to her wet swim clothes. Emily towered over her. Courtney looked up at her with wanton want. "YOU kissed ME. And if you try to tell anyone any differently I will rake your ass over the coals, you feel me?"
Courtney laughed, a blast of air coming out of her nose. She nodded in a subtle show of respect for the girl standing in front of her. She glanced at Emily's toned muscles. Her hands were in fists at her side.
"I'm impressed…" Courtney reached up and stroked her arm.
"I said STOP!" Emily threw her hands up and slammed her palms against Courtney's shoulders.
Courtney slipped in the water. She felt herself free-falling. She tumbled over the bench and landed hard against the floor.
The pains in her stomach and in her back suddenly twisted into a deeper feeling of agony. She cried out loud, silently begging for help she didn't know how to ask for.
She stayed there, huddled on the ground as the pains slowly started to get worse. Her pelvis felt like someone was raking over it with razor blades.
Help me. It hurts.
It was a pain that she would one day watch Emily go through, though she didn't know it at the time.
We're broken. Our bodies. Our minds. Rotting. Diseased. We deserve the pain.
The voices were loud. So loud.
Tears were stinging her eyes.
When Emily finally did lean down to help Courtney felt a wave of anger.
"Stay away from me!" She flung her fists out defensively.
Her stomach was on fire. She felt something hot and wet in her underwear. She scooted back, wrapping her arms around her stomach, hugging herself tightly, rocking on the floor, self-soothing.
Emily had done this. It was her fault.
Emily huffed that she was "so done" and then stormed away, leaving the blonde cold and alone.
So cold and alone.
Come back. She wanted to cry.
More liquid seeped into her underwear. Her back felt like a knife had been shoved into it. She felt like she was going to throw up.
She left me. I lost her.
She tried to stand up, but the dizziness was overpowering. She fell against the lockers, trying to keep her balance. The room was spinning around her. A burning sensation crept up the back of her throat. Then she was vomiting.
Seconds later she was slipping down to the floor again.
Emily had left her. She'd left her there.
The wetness she'd felt in between her legs was dripping down her thighs now. She touched her fingers to it and drew her hand back. Her hand was covered in blood. The sticky red stuff was pooling around her.
No.
She felt lightheaded. Her life felt like it was slipping away.
Please no…
Her head was spinning.
And then the darkness came, swallowed her whole.
Her last thought wasn't about her baby. Or about Nick.
It was about Emily.
She wanted her fallen angel back. She needed her. But instead, Emily was running away.
She held out hope as several minutes passed. She was in the dark. She couldn't see anything. But she heard something almost seven minutes after Emily had bolted.
Nick had finished his cigarette. After having a conversation with Emily in the parking lot he'd decided to check in on Courtney.
Courtney tried to call Emily's name, but it just came out a muffled noise.
Nick didn't see her at first, but when he rounded the corner his eyes immediately landed on the lifeless lump on the floor.
"Courtney?" He felt a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he rushed over to her. There was so much blood. "Oh my God." He fell to his knees. "Oh, baby…"
Courtney groaned, opening her eyes. She looked so helpless.
Nick was furious. How could Emily just leave her like this?
"What happened?"
"I lost her."
He thought she was referring to the baby, but she was talking about Emily. She never had a chance to clarify, because she passed out in his arms.
A beautiful sunrise fading into oblivion.
A/N: Heavy stuff happening (Courtney in particular is a tough character to edit, given the complexity of her highs and lows. For her to go from cruel to protective to soft and then vindictive is a fucking ride. I think the scene where she confronts the frat boys might be my favorite). I know it's a lot, but the Courtney/Emily/Nick backstory is important. Kudos to sako10 for catching all the hints and calling the plot twist. I worked hard on the foreshadow (or...be-foreshadow? since this is in the past) about the truth of what happened in San Antonio.
