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Thinking
Biju, etc. speaking
Biju, etc. thinking
Emphasis
Another dangerous thing about having a wife...
Kakashi was annoyed.
He'd spent all that time with his father, finally getting the nerve to apologize and speak with his sensei: it was the most challenging conversation he'd ever had with the man, deceased or not. It had also been weird going to the Hokage Memorial rather than just speaking with his entire team at the Memorial Stone, but Kakashi needed to speak with Minato-sensei alone.
He didn't expect an answer from his deceased mentor and father-figure other than perhaps being struck by lightning. Just like he told his father, he didn't plan to evade or once again cut any lightning strikes headed toward him if that happened - but it didn't. In fact, the Hatake had felt a warm breeze caress his skin and was comforted by it after finally explaining to Minato-sensei why he had married his daughter. That voice in his head said it was a positive sign from one of his very most precious people, but he knew that voice was crazy -er, often misguided.
Going home to speak with his little wife, he considered things "normal couples" did that led to successful seduction, since the council was demanding "it" happen fairly soon. Kakashi had previously undertaken a mission like that - only one since it was so spectacularly unsuccessful. Tenzo was even more ineffective when he tried to follow up with that target. The silver-haired man laughed to himself at the memories of Tenzo-kun's horrified expression and attempts at running away from his captain when he told him the mission was now on his shoulders. Thank the gods she ended up being bi-sexual and we ran into crazy Anko, or we never would have obtained the information from her… Yugao had outright refused, and Itachi-kun was just too young. A seduction squad, we certainly weren't!
Thinking of all the ways commonly known not to seduce a woman, he wasn't sure quite what to do in order to be successful. He never really tried: women just flocked to him like gnats to a dead animal, he once again thought as he scratched his masked chin. It would be great if I could have this mask off at home… it's sealed, and only Naruto and I can get in without warning. Otherwise, he was really going to have to begin shaving twice a day! Considering it more, he felt intense heat rise up his cheeks and felt like a preteen at the whole idea of having his face out there, naked to the world - or at least... to Naruto.
He stepped into what was - after a lengthy search - definitely an empty house.
Where the hell are you, Naruto? Kakashi's paranoia and worry over his blonde vixen of a wife were getting worse with every step he took as he made his way toward the Nara compound.
Yes, he's awake!
Making her way through his window, Naru looked over at her brother's "sleeping" form. Liar. As usual, Shikamaru was curled up on his side against his pillow, mouth open, but not drooling - that's a major tell, right there: he's not really sleeping. It's unreal he doesn't have a water affinity with all his normal drooling... Naruto sighed deeply, considering what a disquieting - to put it mildly - day and night it had been. Pulling the rope she held tighter, she crawled into Shikamaru's bed and poked him in the side. He stretched like a cat.
Shikamaru groaned and yawned. "Troublesome. I was dreaming that I was in bed with a beautiful blonde, only to find you here instead."
"Ass," Naruto called him, shaking her head fondly. She turned over to the bedside table and handed him his ponytail holder. Shika looked at her and before he could say that word again, she smiled foxily and showed him her rope. He rolled his eyes, waiting for an explanation. "I brought a present: it's... prey!"
"Naruto…"
"Hold up!" Two of Naruto's clones outside the window tossed her tied up pursuer into the Nara heir's window. "See? I was being followed!"
Sai was resigned at this point, only wondering why he had even bothered to seek out his assigned blonde "teammate." It wasn't like he could warn her directly - or even indirectly, considering that she was being shadowed by Fuu and Torune. Perhaps I have been reading too many books on human behavior and sociology? There had to be an explanation for now actually questioning why he had been assigned this mission, as well as getting answers to the feelings that had stirred within him. He knew that feelings had to be disregarded in order to be a perfect shinobi, and Sai was absolutely nothing other than a shinobi in the service of Danzo-sama.
As he laid, tied up quite uncomfortably, outside the Nara Clan Head's manor, he began questioning Danzo-sama's motives. For a moment he tensed at his thought, waiting for that incredibly painful shock to hit his system that he remembered from when he was a young boy. Nothing? Hmm. Perhaps he had to say something out loud about Danzo-sama for such a thing to happen? When he was a boy, he had been warned that even thinking about his leader or their organization would result in what was called torture by those who didn't survive the training. But that wasn't happening. Perhaps the seal had worn off? Surely Danzo-sama and my seniors wouldn't have lied to me. They were all in the same situation, working for the same goals, after all. It was one thing to lie or deceive one's targets and other concerned individuals in order to complete an assigned mission, but lying wasn't allowed within the Foundation.
Is she just going to leave me here? The blonde hadn't returned from her break-in at the Nara home. She is an enigma. Considering it more since he couldn't move to do anything else, he considered that something was truly peculiar about this target, and perhaps even this mission. Had he missed something when it was assigned? Sai had been told that both she and the Uchiha would be strong, and they were. Sasuke was quite strong for a Genin and was at the level of a low to mid-level Chunin, but Naruto's strength was something else entirely, and he knew she was holding back in their spars… He'd seen it when she'd spar with their team leaders, particularly with Kinoe, er- "Tenzo sensei," whom she seemed to particularly love annoying and pulverizing. Such a strange kunoichi. She seemed to have a closer, less violent relationship with Kakashi "Taicho" - wait.
Suddenly Sai knew he was right, but it didn't make sense! Hatake-senpai was the apprentice and only remaining student of the Yondaime. He had already broken into Naruto Uzumaki's official files and, as had been expected of a jinchuuriki, much of it was blacked out. Sai had noted upon meeting the hyper Uzumaki that she greatly resembled the Yondaime, particularly that otherwise non-existent coloring the two had in Hi no Kuni. Considering her link to Hatake now, her missing birth certificate from even the official files suddenly made a lot more sense: her last name wasn't Uzumaki at all! But Uzumaki is a clan name, even if the clan and its country were wiped out in the last war: it couldn't just be given away. And why would Danzo-sama…?
The Yondaime was a great man that Danzo-sama used frequently as an example of sacrifice and service to the village, along with referring to him often when lecturing on shinobi rules when he was young. Other than her jinchuuriki status, was there another reason he had been sent to spy on the busty kunoichi? Danzo-sama, he had always thought, admired the Yondaime greatly - as did the rest of the village. Unlike the Will of Fire concept - at least as had been described in the Hokage's view - that Danzo-sama frequently criticized and warned his subordinates about, the man seemed to agree with everyone about the Sandaime's successor and predecessor. He is also a cruel man: can such a man be trusted?
That startling thought made Sai gasp, although it also brought him back to his present situation: being held captive now by Uzumaki, -er Namikaze Naruto's clones. Whatever her damn name is! Oh no… Indeed, he had already been influenced by spending too much time around the sometimes foulmouthed blonde. Sai scolded himself for his internal emotional disturbance as he watched two of Naruto's clones complain about their "Boss taking too long," and how they planned to prank the Nara heir.
Naruto might be a skilled kunoichi, but her clones are absolute children: rowdy children! They seemed to influence even her. It was unique, as he'd seen many skilled shinobi use the Shadow Clone jutsu, but he'd never seen personalities, particularly different personalities displayed by clones. It made no sense! Suddenly he was pulled up by the rope tying him, only to be dropped to the ground again. The clones peeked into the Nara's window. He didn't think his assigned teammate would kill him tonight, but, as so often was the case, he had no idea what she was doing or planning.
"Naruto - isn't that your teammate?" Oh, Shikamaru knew exactly who the guy on his floor was, but had no idea what his troublesome little sister planned to do with the ink-master, or why she decided to bring him to his own bedroom. Probably a ROOT thing, retribution and what-not. "Naru-chan, you know vengeance isn't the way to go…"
"Who am I? Sasuke?" Naruto asked with a frown before muttering, "Bastard Uchiha." Shikamaru lazily rolled to the other side of his bed as two more of Naruto's clones appeared and dropped Sai unceremoniously into his bed. Shikamaru began to complain - troublesome this, troublesome that - but Naruto ignored him. "I need you to fully hold him down so I can find out why he and those other guys were following me. Bastards. My clones will serve as backup."
The original Naruto sank down on the opposite side of the bed to Shikamaru, while explaining everything that had happened earlier that day - with the exception of what Kakashi had said and then done back at the estate. Silently leaving me alone after asking something like that! Jerk! No way was she saying any of that in front of the presently "Rooty Sai," especially not when she hadn't even begun working on him.
Sai looked back and forth as the two Genin had a long discussion, sandwiched between them and feeling what he'd read had to be anxiety: feeling more and more of it by the minute. His reports showed that the Nara was intelligent and stable, but considering that he was fully ignoring a shinobi so close to him, tied up in his bed of all places, Sai was getting really nervous. Shinobi weren't allowed a sexual life or even those feelings unless they were still active members of a clan or had special circumstances: that had been drilled into their heads until their ears nearly bled by Danzo-sama. None of those in ROOT had such fortunate circumstances. Still, though, Sai had a new and strong "feeling," one getting more solid by the moment, that he was not inherently gay nor even bi-sexual, so he really hoped he was wrong about what was about to happen to him. He began thrashing to get away.
"Oi, oi, calm down! Shadow-possession complete. What now, Naruto?"
Naruto tapped her chin and looked toward the ceiling, deep in thought. "Well, I'll need you to flatten him out. Girls: take position," she ordered her clones.
Sai was panicked. Not only was he laid out flat, arms and legs spread, in a Nara Clan hold - in a Nara BED - but he had a total of seven Naruto's surrounding him. The original instructed her clones to sit on a leg or arm, "just in case." In case of what?! How will this get any worse? Her clones had taken off his backpack and belt, thus taking away his weapons and ninjutsu, before chucking him into this horror!
"He looks scared! Awww: don't worry, Sai! I'm giving you a gift: a very precious one." Naruto climbed over his waist, causing him to let out a squeal which cracked her up. "Take off his gag," she ordered the clone perched above Sai's head darkly. The clone above Sai's head was sitting on her heels, her thighs firmly holding the sides of his head as it carefully untied his gag. In some other world, he imagined that this might be… exciting? But in this one, he looked up to see little more than big orange-covered breasts, blonde hair, and blue eyes as his life passed in front of him.
Sai tried to yell but felt another, different pressure against the sides of his face which, with more force, further opened his mouth. Another pressure pushed slightly against his throat: my voice! His wide eyes now stared at the Nara heir, who only slowly shook his head at him, frowning and looking quite deadly in Sai's opinion. When Naruto's singsong voice startled him further, he would've bolted had he not been held down so firmly.
"Open your mouth and close your eyes," the crazy blonde sang. "You're about to get a BIG surprise!" She chuckled before saying, "Oh, and by the way: this is going to hurt like a bitch!"
.
"Troublesome. Kakashi-kun, what brings you to my humble home this evening?" Hearing his wife begin to yell at him for being an impolite lazy ass when answering the door, Shikaku rolled his eyes. "Come on in. That woman: what a drag." More yelling from the kitchen ensued as Shikaku dodged a flying pot.
Kakashi winced behind his mask. Naruto was a whole different kind of trouble from Shikaku's wife: thank Kami. Sort of… "Maa, sorry for bothering you so late, Commander," he got a dirty look for using his title from the Nara Head. Kakashi chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head as Yoshino-san waved hello and told them she was going back to bed. "I'm - ah - looking for Naruto-chan." That blank face of Shikaku-san's brought a worsening tightness into his gut. Oh no: where is she? No matter how much she objected, she was getting a ninken assigned to every moment, from here on out!
"Troublesome. I haven't seen her." Shikaku took in the Hatake brat's posture, seeing that he was deeply worried. "That doesn't mean she's not here, though, considering her avoidance of doors. They're there for a reason, damn it." Kakashi followed the tall, slouching man down a hallway where he opened Naruto's bedroom door. Shikaku wondered briefly if she and Hatake had an argument or something. She's not here: Shikaku found the room relatively empty and too-orange, just like she'd left it, minus her weird frogs - no, toads, as she so often corrected - and stuff. Brat.
Shutting the door again, he headed toward Shikamaru's room. Opening the door, he immediately shut it upon seeing gods-only-knew what was going on in there. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Troublesome." Just as he began to recite just what a drag this was, especially when considering the deadly man following right behind him, they heard a low, pained, long-lasting groan.
Kakashi had the door down and destroyed in less than a second. Taking in the scene, his mind blanked. He'd seen it briefly - then red, then black, and thought he heard a deep drawl of "Shadow possession complete," but he couldn't move or even think properly: the only thing he felt was rage! The high-pitch of his blood rapidly rushing in his head was only drowned out by the continued groaning or moaning of that soon-to-be-dead, snotty ROOT kid or that Nara brat. He knew it - he'd known it all along! "Let me go," Kakashi growled out. His vision cleared and he saw his wife STILL sitting on top of a tied-up Sai, while what he figured were Naruto's clones and the Nara brat were staring up at him in shock with wide eyes. At least one of the Narutos had let the Nara brat out of her clutches. The way she was holding his head against her like that when he walked into the room made him want to kill the Nara kid too!
"Annnnd, DONE!" Naruto exclaimed brightly. She patted Sai's head and wiped her forehead. The blonde turned around, questioning what all the noise had been about: she'd been in deep concentration, making sure to only use the right amount of chakra so she wouldn't blow Sai's tongue apart, or maybe even his brain or something... Her eyes widened at seeing Shikaku-san holding Kakashi in his jutsu. "Ano, what's going on?" As a near roar came out of her so-called husband's mouth, her clones dispelled and without thinking, she hid behind Sai. She grabbed a kunai from her back pocket pouch and untied the now heavily drooling ROOT nin, who just fell back against her, clearly exhausted.
"Troublesome: no, it's waaaay beyond troublesome, Naru-chan," Shikamaru said quietly, his eyes never leaving the copy nin.
"I - I don't understand," she said quizzically, just as Kakashi spoke.
"Don't - don't you call her Naru-chan," he said darkly.
Both Genin nodded their heads in understanding - well, Naruto really didn't get it at all, but apparently, Kakashi was in some kind of mood. She could see that much easily. Scary masked butthole - I just did us a huge favor! She watched Shikamaru anxiously tying up her weird husband at his father's orders, while Kakashi just stared at Shika like he wanted to devour him or something. Sai's now-asleep head fell back against her chest and her crazy roommate/husband-in-name-only let out a sound that was exactly like Bull when the biggest ninken was pissed: she remembered that from her past timeline.
"Naruto, I think you'd better get out of here, you troublesome woman," Shikamaru said quietly. She smiled oddly as she ruffled his thick hair and bounced out of his bed. He desperately tried to move away from her, and didn't realize that Naruto had just sealed the deal - and smoothed out the seal - to make sure his hair would be orange for at least a few days.
"Alright, now that whatever troublesome thing you two were doing is finished, let's have a talk with Jealous-san, here." Kakashi's face twitched at the name, but he was still being held in Shikaku's shadow. "Shikamaru, drag Drooly-kun and bring him to the living room. C'mon Blondie," the Nara head made Kakashi walk along with him and the two dropped onto the couch. "Oh, and Hatake: you owe me for that door."
Yoshino walked out and tsked at the scene. After having Naruto in the house for all these years, she didn't think twice about seeing two people tied up in her living room, although it was odd that one of them was the Copy Nin. "Shikamaru, don't let that poor hostage boy just lay there on the floor! Haven't I taught you manners, mister?!"
"Ma, he'll drool all over the furniture, and he's out cold anyway," he complained. Yoshino nodded at him in agreement and fetched a towel to put under Sai's head.
Shikaku untied Kakashi with the agreement that his fellow Jonin would wait for an explanation, and that he wouldn't kill his son, assuring the man that Naruto and Shikamaru's relationship was purely platonic. He ignored the troublesome blonde's "Duh," at the whole idea of it being anything else.
Naruto gazed worriedly, first at Kakashi, and frowned further at seeing Sai still drooling so much. Did I screw up? She'd practiced the whole thing before perfecting it several times. At first, her clones would pop even upon trying to force a seal on their tongues, so she devised another really simple seal to hold the clones in place with a significant amount of chakra. It was badass, she felt. Her clones had drooled, which looked totally embarrassing, but they didn't drool this much. She moved - or tried to move from Kakashi's side to check on Sai, but her husband held her back.
Kakashi couldn't look at her. Damn. When did I get in so deep?
"He was following me." Naruto paused, trying to get Kakashi to look at her as she tried to hold his hand. "Along with a couple of others," she began, feeling her husband give that hand the barest of squeezes. Sighing heavily, she began to explain her thouht process, but she was so worried about Sai! "I don't know what's going on, but this was the only way I could think of to find out. I mean, I did us a favor: invalidating that seal; I'm really worried about all that drooling though."
"YOU WHAT?" Shikaku nearly yelled along with Kakashi asking the same thing. Shikaku continued. "Damn it Naruto! I - I appreciate your DEVELOPING skills in sealing, but this was premature - and dangerous!"
Naruto crossed her arms and pouted. "I disagree! Those other chakra signatures were really well-concealed, and they had to be ROOT: all void of emotion and creepy!" She went on to explain how she'd experimented on her clones, which only dampened Shikaku's concern somewhat. Fortunately, Sai was still out cold. Yoshino checked on the young ROOT member and said he was simply exhausted, which Naruto said was normal because of the intense pain he'd experienced. "Plus, ya know - he had to be a bit stressed about the whole… ya know: being taken captive-thing."
"Troublesome."
Kakashi knelt down at Sai's side and lightly slapped him awake. Poor Sai was slurping up his drool and wiping his face as he glared at Naruto. "Sai-kun, did you report to Danzo-sama yet?"
Sai's eyes widened almost comically. Apparently, he thought he was deep undercover and the rest of his team or their associates didn't know about his association with the man. That was especially ridiculous, considering that his assigned team leaders had both been in ROOT earlier in their careers. Kakashi hadn't been sealed, but Tenzo carried Danzo's seal even now. "I know about it, Sai. You're reporting on Naruto-chan, ne?"
"Ad Shashkay," Sai immediately replied with a numb tongue before covering his mouth in horror. He closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the horrible shock to go through his nerves, but the pain never came. He looked up at his captors in confusion, a somewhat normal grin barely ghosting his face. He wiped his mouth with the towel and took in Naruto's soft expression.
"You're welcome, my friend," she said genuinely. "Are you okay? Oh! And the seal is still visible, so no need to worry there."
Sai had so many questions, but couldn't speak well, plus, there were all these swirling… "somethings" inside him. He felt a tear fall down his cheek and wiped it away in shock. Tears? He hadn't shed tears since watching his older brother dying in front of him.
Squatting in front of his unranked pseudo-student, Kakashi patted his head like one of his ninken. "I need you to do us a favor, Sai-kun. What do you say?" The boy nodded quickly, so genuinely it made Kakashi's nerves ease - a bit. "I need you to send your report to Danzo-sama…"
Naruto headed out the door to get Sai's supplies. She stood quietly and closed her eyes, searching the chakra signatures around them. In close proximity, she only felt the Nara's varying levels of lazy, cool chakra, along with the Yoshino's jumpy earth chakra, and finally Kakashi's bright, white electrical energy. Reaching out further, she couldn't detect hostile intent or anything "blank," for lack of a better word. She smiled: this is home. She loved Konoha so much. "You're doing that, right Furball? Not letting me sense Kakashi automatically, or even easily."
"Tch," Kurama opened one red eye to look over his container. "Why would I even bother? And are you sure you can trust the weird brat? You shouldn't. Much has changed, kit."
"Well that wasn't an answer, and to answer YOUR question - I think I'm right… You know, about doing it now, anyway. I mean, you saw his reaction, right? He like, got all teary, ya know!"
"Could be an act."
Naruto harrumphed. "Can you even imagine Sai-kun acting? Seriously, Kurama! Have a little faith!"
Kurama sat up more from his reclining position. "You know what's coming, and sacrifices will have to be made." Before the Uzumaki could mouth off, he continued. "I have a bad feeling, kit: a very bad feeling. We both know how... right I am about these things, Naruto."
Gods, Naruto wished she could disagree with him, but she felt it, too - and it wasn't just facing the past she'd already faced in her last lifetime… No, something felt off. She gave her Bijuu a sad, singular chuckle and nodded her head before leaving her mindscape to enter the house with Sai's things, but found Kakashi in front of the door.
"Naruto, we need to talk." Seeing her nod but look at the ground instead of into his eye, Kakashi continued. "Go home." He scratched his head awkwardly. "What I mean is… Maa, I'd like you to go home," he paused at seeing her look up at him in surprise - am I really that much of an asshole? "We can talk there, but I want the pack to accompany you: that's… That's a direct order."
Naruto looked away and nodded. Jeez. She would have agreed to walk home with his ninken; he didn't need to order her. She shook her head to literally shake off the remaining hurt from him walking out earlier, saying nothing after learning she wanted to stay married to him. He probably wants to "break up." Her heart sank, knowing she had to face facts: Hatake Naruto only existed on paper - and Uzumaki Naruto had never been marriage material. She walked away sadly with five of Kakashi's ninken, never seeing the concerned look in their summoner's eye.
Kakashi took care of Sai, meaning that he dropped him at Tenzo's place after the ROOT nin sent his daily scroll off to Danzo. He walked toward his home slowly, further considering what actions and words he should use with Naruto.
