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First of all, I want to thank Celridel for being a so great beta; also I want to thank for the reviews I have recieved, specially from d'elfe.
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Chapter 46: A Long Night
"Need help?"
Alassë looked over a heavy crate full of fruit, then dropped the case with a cry of delight.
Laura grunted, catching the crate just before it landed on her feet. She set it carefully on the ground, and almost before she had straightened, the elleth had wrapped her in a warm embrace.
The mutant smiled and hugged her back. Laura was rarely affectionate, but the golden-haired Elf woman had a sort of magic about her that made even the toughest-shelled open up.
"Alassë! It's good to see you again!"
Alassë laughed, releasing the woman. "Oh Laura, it has been such a long time! Five years?"
"Seven."
"And the King has finally released you?"
"Not quite," Laura said, inclining her head towards the two guards, who stood a few paces away.
Alassë glanced at them. "But why?"
"Let's say my reputation precedes me" replied Laura with a shrug.
"Reputation?"
"Didn't Lord Maeglin tell you?"
"Tell me what now?"
"Who I am?" Laura said slowly. "He must have told you because you know my real name."
"Yes, he told me," Alassë answered, her gaze swiveling from Laura's face to the crate of fruit. "But it is of no importance to me. I sense good in you, Laura, I truly do."
Laura's smile was one of happiness growing; she felt almost dizzy with relief. "Thank you," she said huskily. "I guess I'm very lucky to have friends like you, and Maeglin, and Glorfindel," she added quickly.
"I am honored," Alassë said, but her smile hardly reached her eyes.
Laura raised a thin black eyebrow but said nothing. Something was preying on her friend's mind, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"Come over to my house!" Alassë said suddenly, enthusiasm flooding back over her pretty features. "We will eat together and talk! We must have so much to share!"
The young woman smiled.
"I would love too," she said.
Alassë's home was small, made of clean lines, fundamental shapes, and natural colors. Flagstone steps led up to the door, huge ferns made green arches above their heads. A little way off from the house, surrounded by hostas, was a large, leafy tree, with a wooden swing dangled from one of its boughs.
Alassë led Laura up to the porch, but when she tried to take the woman inside, the older of Duilin's guards intervened, gently but firmly putting himself in their way.
"She cannot enter into any inhabited place. That was Lord Duilin's express order," he said.
Alassë offered him a spiky smile. "She is my friend, sir, and you are doing both of us an immense discourtesy by not letting me take my guest into my own house."
"I cannot disobey my orders," he said mildly, not moving.
Alassë tilted her head back, fixing for a fight, but Laura took her arm and moved her gently towards the swing. "Let's sit there," she said. "It's as good a place as any."
"If we must," Alassë said loudly, still looking at the guard.
The air was cool and dappled with moonlight under the tree. Laura sat cross-legged, Alassë curled up on the other side.
"What have you been doing all this time? It must have been very trying for you," the Elf said sympathetically, rocking back and forth.
Laura balanced herself, shrugging. "At the beginning it was hard. I love just wandering around, and instead, I was in a cottage, sure that the walls were going to cave in on me. Not even being able to breathe fresh air was scary."
"So what did you do avoid losing your wits?"
Laura snorted. "For a while, nothing. I gave up for a long time." She looked at the leaves, trying to choose her next words, but none came.
"You gave in because you did not think you were worth fighting for," Alassë concluded softly, and Laura nodded.
"Fortunately, I had someone who cared," she said after a minute. "A certain young Elf-woman still thought about me, and I believe she continues to do so. If you meet her, convey my heartfelt thanks."
Alassë smiled, reaching across the swing and taking Laura's hand. "Of course. You are my friend," She said simply.
"I learned friendship from you," Laura answered, honestly enough. "And Maeglin as well. Did you know he gave me a gift? Thanks to his word and that gift, I was able to not only forgive others but forgive myself. It had to start with facing myself and then forgiving myself, and that would snowball into a real change. It would take time, but then and again, Time is not a problem for me. Who knew being immortal was going to be so useful? There were times when I wanted death, but here I am...immortal and with more than enough time to become a new person with a new life."
"And I'm very glad for you," the Sinda said, smiling, but that smile was overlaid with a grey mist of melancholy.
"Alassë, what is it?" Laura asked softly, leaning forward and holding her friend's hands.
"What is it?" Alassë repeated. "I am so glad you are changing. You are not the woman you were, not at all. If you had been, you would have never opened up to me as you did just now."
"No, now it's your turn to hide your feelings," Laura said. "Alassë, you can tell me." Seeing the Elf-woman's reluctance, she continued. "I know I'm not the ideal person to give advice, but one thing I have learned from Maeglin is that listening is its own help, and I'm more than happy to listen."
Alassë stared at Laura, her jaw clenched tightly. "If I do not wish to share my mind, you have no right to try and pry it out of me. I invited you to my house to talk to you, not the other way around," she answered, so coldly it was hard for Laura to recognize that voice as Alassë's.
"Alassë-" she began.
"I will not talk about it, Laura."
The mutant looked at her friend for a moment, riffling through the memories of that evening, and remembered how Alassë's jaw had tightened every time Maeglin's name was mentioned.
"It's about Maeglin," Laura said finally. Alassë jumped to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest as if to protect the heart inside. She said something, but it entered the world as a raw, strangled sob, and then she began to cry silently, but with a ferocity that both surprised and frightened Laura. For a long moment, the only noise was the sound as Alassë struggled to breathe against the crying.
She sat awkwardly on the swing, unsure of what to do, but when the tears began to die down, she leaned forward and asked softly, "What happened Alassë?"
"It is Maeglin," the golden-haired elleth said in a broken voice, approaching the swing again and standing in front of Laura. "He does not...he does not love me!" And her tears began again.
Laura's face washed blank with confusion. Of course, Maeglin did not love Alassë. He quite literally worshiped the ground his cousin walked on. She had never said anything, fearing to break one of her closest friendships, but she knew the Prince dogged his cousin's footsteps, and for someone who knew the consequences of evil far too intimately, he had only one thing on his mind, and it was not at all noble.
"What happened, Alassë?" she asked tenderly.
"Maeglin invited me to his smithy, and because it was so dear to his thought...I thought...anyhow...he made me a gift for my begetting day. It was a hummingbird, and I brought him flowers and fruit in return, for Kementári's gifts are very dear to my people."
Laura nodded.
"That day...my begetting day, he invited me to dine with him, and when spoke, and then..." She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking.
"Alassë? What happened, Alassë?"
"He was about to tell me that he loved me. I know he was!" Alassë exclaimed, looking quickly at Laura, her eyes feverish. "And then he thought of something, and he said...he said I was a fine friend." She laughed sadly, derisively. "He said 'you're a fine friend, Alassë'. I was eating grapes then. I haven't since: they taste so bitter now," she added matter-of-factly. She looked at Laura, her eyes-glassy with grief, suddenly brightening. "Could you help me, Laura? You know him better than I do. Would you speak to him for me? Maybe even have him see me as more than a 'fine friend'?"
"Alassë ... Alassë ... Alassë!" Laura put a hand over Alassë's mouth to shush her. "I have never been, and I never will be a matchmaker. I don't like being mixed up in matters of the heart." I already have one of those in my own heart, and it's hard enough to deal with. "You are asking someone who looks out for herself first to do something totally against my nature."
"You have never driven me away!" the Sinda reproached.
"It's true, but that's because you have never shown any interest other than friendship. I need friends, Alassë, to learn how to be a friendly person, to learn how to change. And you and Lord Maeglin are those examples for me. " And you need something more than that, don't you? Someone who loves you?
"Maeglin is your example of friendliness?"
"Oddly enough, yes, ... at least for me."
"Of course," said the elleth bitterly. "He is very fond of his friends."
"Alassë, I can't help you. And even if I could, I won't. It is not in my power to change a person's heart. Only mine ... or at least I'm trying too, "said Laura sadly." Has he come to see you lately? "
Alassë shook her golden head. "I think he has forgotten me," she murmured, and another tear joined the ones already on her cheeks.
"I think he's been very busy lately," Laura answered, trying to sound reassuring. "Alassë, don't think the worst. Try to think the best-it's what you've taught me." She put a hand on the Sinda's shoulder, trying to replicate Alassë's simple, golden warmth. Then she stood up and went towards the gate.
"Laura ..." Alassë pleaded from the swing
"I'm sorry, Alassë," she replied sadly. "I can help you with other things, but never ask me about matters of the heart. Believe me, in that area I can't even help myself."
Pain shot up his arm as he tried to grip a hammer, and with a curse, he dropped it back on the bench. The scars on his hands were healing slowly, but then and again, he reflected, at least they would heal. He felt less certain about his heart. He flexed his hands carefully, gritting his teeth as he turned back to his work.
"Maeglin?"
The Prince glanced up, seeing a small woman silhouetted by moonlight standing in his door.
"Laura," he said testily, without a modicum of his usual courtly nonchalance. "What are you doing here?"
"I haven't seen you for a long time," she replied.
"I have been busy."
"I assumed,"
"Then did you assume that I need to finish my work?" he asked sharply. Laura arched her eyebrows and stepped into the forge. It was lit by Fëanorian lamps, crystals hung in a fine chain net, and they cast wavering, blue-ish shadows across the smithy. She noted a necklace thrown into a corner and saw the pendant was shattered, cracks racing across the finely-carved gemstone.
"What is it you need, Laura?" he asked, his back to her. The grindstone whirred lazily, sparks hissing up from the metal.
"I already told you, I came to visit you. Call it friendly concern."
"I am well, Laura," he said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "I might be in an even finer mood if you were to take your friendly concern elsewhere,"
"Sure," Laura said, standing by his side now. "So you're making a sword now? I thought you liked making jewelry better."
"Forgive me. Next time I wish to do something, I will ask for your approval."
She stepped away, going towards the necklace. "Of course you can change what you want, but why wouldn't you fix this necklace?" she asked, picking it up. "I am sure you could restore it."
Maeglin turned around and was in front of her with three feral steps. He snatched it out of Laura's grasp with the strength that could bend metal and crush rock. "Do not touch it!" he snarled at her, his jaw working.
Laura reached and took one of his hands instead, real concern in her face. "Maeglin, these are deep cuts. What happened?"
Maeglin jerked his hand away and turned back to the grindstone, tucking the necklace in his belt. "Nothing that concerns you,"
Laura followed him. "Maeglin, I might not very good at being a friend, but I have learned from you and Alassë that true friends care about each other."
The Prince snorted, bending over his work.
"It's true!" Laura exclaimed, suddenly hurt. "Whether you like it or not, it's the truth. What happened, Maeglin? " When he didn't answer her, she said "It was the Princess, wasn't it? She broke the necklace."
His shoulders suddenly hunched as he curled in on himself. "It was her gift," he said in a muffled voice, saying it more for him than for Laura. "It took me days and nights to make it perfect. Can you understand? It must be perfect, as perfect as her. That is the only way to reach the sky between us. Like father, like son, so why wouldn't this curse come with me? I thought that the gods would be content with my lineage."
"Your past isn't your future, Maeglin," Laura said earnestly. "You have friends!" Aren't they enough? "You have me and most of all, you have Alassë. Come on! For Alassë, you are unique. For Alassë, you are special. I already told you this: Alassë loves you for who you are."
The Prince turned around, fixing the woman with his inky eyes. "You say Alassë loves me? And what precisely do you know of love? Your past is dark, maybe darker than my own. So what can you know of love?"
A light flared up in Laura's eyes, a wave of huge, electrical anger, and then it died away. She looked down, her voice sad. "You ask me what do I know about love? I'll tell you what I know. I know what it feels like to have unreciprocated love. That the love I have is hopeless." She paused, struggling to maintain her composure. "You want to know my curse? I got to fall in love with an Elf-Lord, and worst of all, Gondolin's Darling. Light has no communion with darkness. It doesn't and it never will." She paused, straightening the lines of her face, and said in a firm, rebuking voice. "Don't let that happen to you, Maeglin. Idril may be hopeless but Alassë is your hope. She would make you very happy. And don't waste away your time. Time can take things away from even you guys."
"And do you speak from prior experience?" Maeglin said curtly.
Laura nodded. "Yes. And maybe you will too if you don't learn."
Maeglin's jaw clenched and he turned back to the sword. "Get out of here, Laura," he said coldly.
Lord Maeglin's POV
'To be loved by Idril, a creature with more colors than all the gems in the world have...it is a need. And I think that one day she will.
I do not need the love of others. Alassë is a friend, a dear friend. And am I willing to exchange the love of Celebrindal, made of fire and life, for Alassë? Now I see: one is so busy catching the Bird of Paradise that he cannot see the goldfinch perched faithfully on his shoulder.
I don't know whether to change my affections, but what I do know is that I must mend my bond with Alassë. Maybe...maybe I will be lucky with love.
"Where are you going, Laura Kinney?" asked the younger guard. Laura had learned his name was Firthol earlier that week, and now he sounded irritated.
Laura turned on her heel and presented him with a thin sliver of a smile. "I'm going to see my mare."
Firthol blew air through his teeth in an impatient whistle. "Could you visit your mare tomorrow? We have been wandering all night."
"I thought Elves didn't get tired."
"No, but I have other duties in the morning," Firthol retorted, his sharp features creased with irritation.
"I will escort Laura to the stables, soldier," said a voice from the shadows of the alleyway.
"I could not trouble you with that, my Lord," Firthol replied, but the latent eagerness in his tone made Laura think he was concerned about more than duties.
Glorfindel smiled, apparently struck with the same thought. "It is no trouble. Avaunt with you," he said kindly.
"Saved by the bell," Laura murmured.
"By the bell?"
"It's a native phrase."
"I don't understand."
"I can explain while we head towards the stables," Laura said.
Glorfindel eyed her for a moment. "Always to the point, aye?"
"Always."
The stables were silent, rich with the smell of sun-soaked hay and horse. The moon had set, and no light was coming through the windows, so Glorfindel guided Laura to the paddock, careful not to touch her. Viento Nocturno was nothing but a tall shadow and the shimmer of large black eyes in the night, but Laura reached out her hand, allowing the mare to take in her unfamiliar scent. "Hey, how's it going, Viento Nocturno?" she said softly, and the mare whinnied, lifting its head over the gate and nosing Laura's hair into a bird's nest. The woman laughed, edging past Glorfindel to where a crate of apples lay. She took several and fed them to the mare. "Bet these are tastier."
"So you always have the eyes of a cat?" Glorfindel said. "Are there any other wonders I should know of?"
Laura shrugged. "I can hear as well as you. I can see in the dark and of course, I have an excellent sense of smell...but you know that one already."
The half-Vanya nodded, remembered her laughter. "You are blessed," he said.
The mutant shrugged. "Call them benefits to being an experiment," she said, feigning disinterest, but Glorfindel sensed pain ran in a deep current underneath.
There was a long silence.
"Horses do not forget their friends," Glorfindel said, at last, hoping to lighten her mood.
"Too bad others do," she murmured
"Laura, what happened is behind us. Now we are friends? You saved my life, and that is not forgetting, that is remembering, and what is more, being thankful."
She smiled at him gratefully. "That's good to know. By the way, how is Varolocco? He didn't get hurt in the ambush, did he."
Glorfindel shook his head. "No severe injuries. Varolocco is a war-horse and the best of his kind. Thank you for your concern." He gestured towards the mare. "Shall we take her outside?"
"I'm still under supervision; they won't let me take her for a ride," Laura said sourly.
"Not, for a ride, only around the pasture to stretch her legs and so she can get reacquainted with you."
"On one condition: that Varolocco can accompany us"
They spent the rest of the waning night together with their horses, walking them around the huge pasture, thick with tall grass and dew.
Laura realized that her mare was also fond of Lord Glorfindel. She doubted that horses shared their master's feelings towards others, but if Elf-horses did, it could be disastrous.
"I see you and Viento Nocturno get along very well," she observed neutrally as they turned back towards the stables.
"She is used to me. I took care of her during your house arrest," Glorfindel answered, tugging Valorocco's forelock gently.
Laura's eyes widened. "You did? Why?"
Glorfindel shrugged. "Viento Nocturno was not to blame for anything," he said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, but Laura recognized a truer truth in his body language.
"Thank you," she said huskily.
The rosy sky heralded a new day when they stopped at the door of Laura's cottage. at the door.
"Thank you for taking me to see Viento Nocturno," she said quietly "And even more, thank you for taking care of her in my absence"
The Elf-lord smiled slightly. "You are welcome" he replied with a slight inclination of his head. "And-"
"Wait!" Laura interrupted him. She darted into her cottage and came out carrying something in her hands, which she presented to him.
He took it, handling it carefully. "Ah! Togo!" he said, admiring the carving. He handed it towards her, but she shook her head. "No. It's yours."
Glorfindel looked up and saw the immense gratitude in her eyes. "Thank you," he said, impressed by the emotion in her face.
"No, thank you for taking care of Viento Nocturno."
The Elf-lord smiled. "Have a blessed day, Laura."
"Likewise, Glorfindel."
He closed the gate behind him, weighing the small figurine in his hands. He had always admired Laura's capacity for gratitude. Once she had been willing to express her feelings, he saw how much she appreciated the smallest acts of kindness.
The wood was still warm from her hands, and he smiled. As strange as it seemed, he thought this was one of the most precious gifts he had ever received. He swiveled his head towards the cottage for a parting glance and continued towards the palace, not noticing that hidden by foliage, Laura was watching him.
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