A/N: Apparently, Fanfiction . net isn't letting new chapters get posted right now. If you're here looking for chapter 40 or 41, I don't know when they'll show up. I'm probably going to stop posting here until Fanfic is back running like normal. If you do see this, there are two temporary fixes I know of. One, this fic is currently on Ao3 as well under my other name Deilia Medlini. Two, chapters WILL show up on the app if you have that. And if you read other stories where there are errors on the chapters, I'd definitely recommend the app.

Original A/N: Spoiler for a second because I think I'd like to put a warning, but at in the second section (separated by those long line things) there's a panic attack/having a flashback scene for Link. It ends at the next set of lines if that's something you want to skip.


Zelda reread the page in front of her for the third time. Though she liked to consider herself a person who could focus, or better yet, multitask, she just couldn't. Not today.

Not with Link sitting on the other end of the couch playing the guitar and humming along to the tune he played.

If nothing else, she decided to at least pretend she was reading, if only so she didn't spook him. She knew he wasn't extremely confident with his voice. He certainly would stop humming if she was too obvious. But she loved listening to him when he ended up zoning out in his music. She didn't know if it meant he was just that comfortable around her, or that he'd forgotten she was there entirely.

Either way, she kept her mouth shut and admired him, though not without seeing even the parts about him he tried to hide.

He looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes. She'd felt him wake up several times each night, though he'd refused to explain what was happening. Each night, she'd feel him tug at the blankets, not out of cold, but out of a desperate need to grab something. It made him sluggish each morning, especially before they'd eat breakfast.

And she'd noticed that each morning for several days now, he'd taken two pills for pain, claiming his neck was 'just stiff' every time she asked if he was okay. She could see it as she watched him play. Something about him was tense, not relaxed as he usually was.

Something was wrong. And he wouldn't tell her.

She watched his fingers strum the strings. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with his motor function. His appetite had been decent, though admittedly, they'd both been slacking on making any decent meals since Aryll had been gone. She'd said she'd return in a few hours, so they'd actually planned to cook for her return.

He seemed to sense that he was being watched and his eyes flickered up, giving Zelda a small smile and, predictably, stopped humming.

They stared at each other for a while before Zelda finally sighed. "I love you."

Link smirked, his eyebrow raising in confusion. "What did I do?"

"Nothing. I'm just saying."

"Okay. I love you too." He made a face that said he didn't believe that it was unprompted, but he set the guitar down to get a better look at her. "You look sad."

Zelda shrugged. "I am, a bit."

"Your parents?"

She glanced at the window. It was raining hard, and the wind had changed directions, beating against the glass loudly. It had distracted her for a moment. "Yeah. That's one of the bigger things."

"Want to make a game plan for when they come back home? We can camp out in the driveway and you can demand their attention at the risk of being run over."

She chuckled at the ridiculousness of it. "Yeah, sure. Great plan, Link."

Zelda put the bookmark in her page and set the book down on the coffee table before sliding onto Link's side of the couch, leaning back into him like a glorified pillow. He wrapped his arms around her and they returned to a comfortable silence for a while. Link's hand ended up running through her hair several times, something Zelda knew by now was also a way of distracting himself.

"I love you," he whispered.

Zelda chuckled this time, getting comfortable. "Play me a song."

"Good response," he laughed, grabbing his guitar again and awkwardly setting it in front of both of them. Nothing about the position of his arms was comfortable, but he managed.

And he hummed in her ear as he played.


Link wasn't usually the kind of person to sleep in hoodies.

They often choked him in the night and made him uncomfortable. But it was unbearably cold in the house that night.

Aryll had come home, admired Link's new tattoo, and rushed for a warm shower. Link and Zelda had huddled under the warmest comforter, watching a movie under as many blankets as possible. Even Zelda was layered up, wearing her favorite shirt to sleep in, one with a large hole in the hem, and one of Link's loose sweatshirts. She even wore socks.

In the bed, they clung to each other for warmth. After realizing that Link's house was just too cold, they'd both decided that it would be best to stay at Zelda's the next night, where central heating was a thing.

So, when Zelda felt Link's sticky warm skin against her cheek, she knew something strange was happening.

She'd woken to the rapid raise and fall of Link's chest, sending her jerking up and down with its quick motions. At first, she simply stirred, moving off him a bit as if she were the one making him sweat, but when she heard Link groan, almost like he was in pain, her eyes shot open.

Sure, he'd had nightmares for the past several nights. But he'd usually wake up with a sudden jerk, glance at her to see if he'd woken her, take a deep breath followed by shallower calming ones, and then try to drift off to sleep again.

It had never been like this. He'd never made a sound other than a gasp or a deep breath. He'd never sweat like he was in a sauna.

His brow was deeply furrowed, and even from this distance, she could see the droplets of sweat raining off his forehead. One of his hands was desperately clutching the blanket, white knuckled, and the other was holding the pillow with the same intensity.

But Zelda truly felt concerned when she noticed that one of the drops of sweat wasn't that at all. It was a tear.

"Link?" she tried, lightly shaking him.

The noises he was making now were pained and choked, halfway to a sob and nothing like she'd ever heard from him before.

"Link, wake up." She shook him again.

A keening sound burst from him, and he rolled over, pushing his face into the pillow and stifled another noise.

This sound was an actual yell, guttural and raw, smothered into the fabric and muffling it as well as possible.

"Oh gods, Link!" she hissed, shaking harder this time. "What's wrong?"

His hands went to his hair, tightening into a fist, his elbows covering his face as he let out another scream.

"Hey! What's happening?" Zelda practically screamed herself. "Are you hurt? Please!"

This time, he sat up, his entire body shuddering, tears and sweat pouring down his face. And his hands clawed at his throat where the sweatshirt was, tugging it as far away from him as he could. Zelda could hear ripping from the fabric.

Zelda quickly pulled it off him, mouth dropping when she realized that he was drenched in a fine sheen of sweat. His teeshirt was clinging to him, and his hands came back damp when they ran through his hair again.

"I can't… I can't… I can't…" he repeated over and over again until it became little more than a whisper.

Confusion wasn't the word for what Zelda felt. Horrified, panicked, and afraid were more like it. But no matter what she tried, Link just kept making noises, rocking, and frantically clawing at pieces of himself, be it his shirt, his throat, his hair.

Zelda slid from the bed and ran from the room, bursting into Aryll's room.

Aryll sat up with a panicked gasp. "What's wrong?"

"Link. I don't know… I… he's…"

Zelda couldn't find the words, but she didn't need to. Aryll was on her feet, pushing past Zelda to get to the other room, leaving Zelda on her heels.

"Oh," Aryll whispered, sitting on the bed and pulling Link to her, holding him tightly. She turned to Zelda and gestured her over, though her attention went straight back to Link. "You're okay."

"It…" he hissed, pressing his forehead into her shoulder before letting out a pained noise again before his hand shot to his shoulder.

"No, it's over," Aryll said, shifting a bit. Zelda was walking over beside her, and Aryll's head gestured for Zelda to take a seat on the bed. "Look," Aryll cooed, running a comforting hand through Link's hair. "Zelda's here. She wasn't here then, right? So you're not there."

"I need to… lean back," Link breathed.

Aryll let him go and he scampered back, pushing his back into the headboard, letting out a relieved sound, though his eyes darted all around the room.

"Link," Aryll tried again, but this time, he shook his head, stopping her.

"I need dad."

"What?"

Zelda watched carefully as Link tried to slow his breathing, wiping tears from his wet face. "I need to go see dad. He's the only one left who knows what happened. Did I… did I hold his hand?"

"Dad's?"

"Mikau."

Aryll let out a long sigh and shook her head. "I don't think you should, Link."

Link ran his hand along his palm, feeling for something that wasn't there. "Did I hold my best friend's hand when he died? Was I even conscious?"

"We'll go through the medical files tomorrow."

"That won't fucking tell me what happened, Aryll."

"Neither will dad."

He pushed her hands away from him and stood up, cradling his head in his arms as he crossed the room and left them both for the kitchen.

Zelda let out a breath and turned to Aryll. "What's happening?"

"We're near the anniversary of the car accident. This happens every year. He gets nightmares a lot around this time. Sometimes they're bad." Aryll's ears perked at a sound and she slid from the bed before hurrying out into the kitchen. Her hand grabbed Link's fiercely, tugging him backwards. "Hell no."

Zelda followed, hovering in the doorway as Link pulled his hand from Aryll's. "Fuck off! Let me go!"

"No! You're not driving anywhere, so give me the damned keys!"

"I have to go!"

Zelda hurried over to him, moving between him and Aryll. He grabbed her for a moment, prepared to move her aside, but his hand relaxed and he let go. Aryll was able to grab the keys, tucking them into her palm.

Zelda stared at Link for a moment, watching as his glazed expression, thick with sleep and red with tears.

He bit his lip, trying to stop fresh tears from falling, but it was no use. He was still breathing in short, shallow gasps. Another pained noise and he was bending down, cradling his head again as it throbbed.

Aryll glanced at Zelda, gesturing for her to do something. She knew that she would agitate Link more. "I'm going to run some cold water."

Zelda nodded before kneeling in front of Link, putting her hand lightly on his knee.

"Gods," he muttered when he'd gotten some of his breath back. "I don't… I can't remember."

"I know."

"I look like a lunatic."

Zelda shook her head quickly. "No. No, you don't. Don't say that."

He covered his mouth, discreetly wiping his eyes with his thumb. When that didn't stop them, he grabbed his soaked shirt and pressed it into his eyes, firmly rubbing them clear before quickly pinching his nose and letting go.

"You know what's sick?" he laughed darkly, more tears coming to his eyes. He scowled, trying to stop them again. "I want my parents. My fucking jackass parents. I have Aryll who loves and cares about me more than anyone, and I can't stop myself from wanting my fucking deadbeat parents right now. How sick is that?"

"It's not. I get it." She had to wipe her own tear away. Seeing Link like this… she couldn't help herself. She pulled him against her, holding him as tight as she could. "I'm not your mother, but I love you. You have me."

"Thank fuck you're not my mother," he laughed. "Oh gods, I'm damaged goods, Zel. I'm fucked up. You can run and I won't blame you. You should go. I'm that guy who got his best friend killed. I deserved to be in jail for that, too."

Zelda couldn't muster up a kind voice in response to that. "Stop it," she hissed. "That's not even… you didn't kill him. You got into a car with him. You weren't driving. And you're not responsible for other people's actions. So stop it."

"He'd be 20."

"Stop."

"You know, I can feel something in my back. I'm sore, like I was after we crashed. But I can't… I can't see anything. I can't remember where I was, or if I crawled. I just… I can't. But my dad would know. He was awake. They said he was."

"He was also drunk," Zelda reminded him, perhaps a bit too harshly. "You can't expect him to remember any more than you do."

"I know."

Zelda glanced up, seeing Aryll's shadow in the doorway, watching them.

Without words to be spoken, Link began to breathe harder again.

"Link, maybe the cold water will help a bit. You're still dripping sweat."

He absently ran a hand along his forehead, staring at it as it came back soaked. He finally turned to Aryll.

"I'm sorry."

"Shut up, dork."

He scoffed and nodded, pushing himself to his feet, feeling unsteady. As he passed Aryll, he grabbed her hand, letting go before he went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Zelda let out a shaky breath. "What just happened?"

But Aryll sat on the couch, staring at the closed bathroom door. "He can't go see our dad. Not when he's like this. If he wants to find out if the man knows anything, he needs to be clear-headed. Last year, we went through all the reports, and there was nothing. Last year… the anniversary was awful. If you thought this was bad, it's nothing. He was… he was asleep and dreaming and screaming. He remembers it when he's asleep, but when he wakes up, he can't remember. I don't know what it is, but I know that he was in pain when it happened. Pain for more than one reason, I guess. I think he was awake until help came."

"Why do you think that?" Zelda asked when she realized Aryll wasn't continuing.

"Just the things he was saying in his sleep. I think he saw his best friend bleeding and watched him die, and his brain is doing everything it can to protect him, but being the stubborn person he is, he's fighting it. And I think that he's going to have a hard time putting himself back together if he does remember." Aryll finally looked away from the door. "Try to talk him down if he mentions our dad again. I know it's not all on you, but he might care more about your opinion than mine. He knows where I stand with that man."

Zelda took a breath and pulled the sweatshirt she wore tighter around her. "What else can I do?"

"Just keep your eye on him. He's a good one, but he doesn't see it. Remind him that you do."


Zelda woke the next morning to an empty bed. Link wasn't in the house, and his motorcycle was gone.

She was fine to give him his space, but when evening rolled around without word from him, both Aryll and Zelda began to get nervous.

After checking the park and Gabe's, both to no avail, Zelda stopped in front of the local cemetery and turned in on a hunch.

She didn't know where she was going. It was huge, with several streets that lasted a long while each. But when she finally spotted his motorcycle, she quickly called Aryll to let her know she'd found Link before hanging up and pulling up beside his bike.

She grabbed her keys and coat, tugging it on before heading down the row to where she could see Link lying in the grass.

"Oh, Link," she muttered, too low for him to hear as she approached. She could see several discarded cigarettes, an open pack that was nearly empty, and lighter beside them, with smoke rising up from his mouth. Finally, she bent near him, sitting in the grass beside his head.

"Oh fuck," he muttered, turning his head away from her.

"You had us both worried. You wouldn't answer our calls. It's been, like, eight hours or something."

His eyes were bloodshot, and he pulled the cigarette from his mouth, letting it rest between his fingers in his limp hand.

"Now you know I'm fine. Just go."

He reeked of smoke, his hand shaking as he brought the cigarette back to his mouth.

"Link…"

"I'm a fuck up, and you deserve better. Go."

Zelda gasped as she looked closer at his hand and reached to take the cigarette from him, snuffing it out before tossing it with the rest.

Link sat up, annoyance all over his face.

"Look at your hands," Zelda countered, grabbing his left. There were marks from where he'd let it burn too low in his fingers, and small circles on his other, from his hand going limp and resting against his skin with a burning cigarette. There was ash on his neck from his carelessness. "I don't care if you started smoking again, but you're not going to do it if you're going to hurt yourself."

"Isn't the act of me smoking hurting myself?"

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Better than getting drunk and driving home."

"Link…"

"You know," Link said, taking the box in his hand and staring at it for a while before speaking again. "This is the first pack I legally bought."

"We'll commemorate the day," Zelda said dryly.

It made Link's lip twitch up, but it wasn't a real smile. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you do. You told me you're not a chain-smoker."

"I'm not. Usually."

Link reached for the box and pulled out another cigarette, staring at it before handing Zelda the box.

"I don't want one."

"Take it from me. One more and I'm done."

She grabbed the box and sealed it, sticking it in her bag as she watched Link light the cigarette in his hand.

"Zel?"

"Mhmm?"

Link let out a long breath, watching the smoke billow into the sky. "Will you sit with me? I know I asked you to go… but I don't want you to. Not really."

"Yeah. I'll stay."

Link leaned back into the grass, resting his head against Zelda's knee. "I can't believe I'm going to need to get that fucking gum again."

"Yeah, if you think you'll need it."

"You ever…" Link thought for a moment, staring at the cigarette again. "Have you ever been so dehydrated that you drank some water. And you kept drinking it, even when you started feeling sick and you could barely swallow, but you just… keep drinking. That's this. It's burning my throat. And my hands, apparently. And here I am, with one more."

Zelda ran her hand through his hair. "Are you trying to tell me that you're going to throw up on me?"

Link laughed, genuinely laughed, before coughing, smoke coming out of his mouth as he did. "No. I promise, I'll look the other way."

"Okay, good."

Link closed his eyes for a moment, exhausted. Zelda watched his hand, keeping an eye on the cigarette for him. He opened them again. "I want to save someone's life. Maybe even the score."

"Does that mean you want to be a paramedic or something?"

"No," he said, holding out the cigarette to Zelda. "Can you put it out?"

She did and put it in the pile with the rest.

He closed his eyes again. "Mikau built things. He taught me to fix them. I want to work on things that will save someone's life. For some twisted reason, I like cars, despite everything. But I want to do more than work on them. If I get into college, I'm going to go with mechanical engineering. Not electronics. I like math anyway."

"You'll get in. And you'll do great."

Link grabbed Zelda's free hand and held it as he stared up at her. "Are you really going into economics? Or business?"

"What else is there for me?"

Link let out a deep breath. "You should just go in undecided and do your gen eds. Find something you love, not something you want to tolerate."

"Like what? I've never had that passion. You know what you want. You even had two things you loved. I have nothing."

"You'll find it. And if nothing else, you're good at chemistry. You could be a mad scientist. Crazy static hair from all your experiments and stuff."

Zelda chuckled. "Oh yeah, I can see it now."

"You could be a doctor."

"Too much school. I don't think I'd make it that long."

"Vet."

"I'd cry if I had to put any animals to sleep. Though I did used to be an excellent stuffed animal surgeon."

Link laughed and held her tighter, struggling to keep his eyes open. "You'll find it."

It wasn't long before he'd fallen asleep in her lap, breathing calmly, unlike the night before. She sent Aryll a text to let her know that Link was okay, and then sent one to Gabe, asking if he could bring Link's bike to her house later. He said yes, but Zelda didn't bother to head there yet herself.

Instead, she let Link sleep.


A/N: I wrote a companion piece for this fic, just a little backstory of Revali and Sidon before the story starts. Revali basically starts trying to accept that Zelda isn't the only one he has feelings for, but if it all went smoothly, it wouldn't be angsty. So that exists, if you want to read that; it's only on my Tumblr though. Just get rid of all the spaces if you're interested. deiliamedlini. tumblr post/632369726202527744/small-steps-3309-words-companion-oneshot-to

Reviews: st4tic sh0ck: Thank you! I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I thought, honestly! Nightwing2013: That makes me feel better, to be honest hahaha! ElenaGilbert24: Link, our dear, sweet boy! He's something else! And I'm glad it's not always a bad thing! I was nervous for it. Just-AWESOME-old-me: I will not confirm nor deny this being anything happening in the future. But I WILL say that it has crossed my mind several times. Is there a casually shrugging emoji that can go in here? No? *pretend this is a casually shrugging emoji*