"Ready?" Hackett set a hand-mirror facedown in Bex's lap and sat next to her on the bed. "Take your time."
The implant surgery had gone off without a hitch and Bex had been released from the hospital the next day, with the bandages coming off a week after the surgery. In all that time, and for several days after, she hadn't looked in a mirror. And no one except Hackett and Dr. Chakwas had seen her face since the bandages had come off.
"Whatever you think it looks like," he said now, "it does not."
Bex frowned. "I don't know if I should take that as good or bad."
"It's a good thing, I promise."
She nodded, watching her fingers running over the raised floral pattern on the back of the mirror. "Okay. Guess I'm ready as I'll ever be."
She didn't know why she was so goddamn nervous—it wasn't like she could do anything about it if it sucked. Still, she hesitated another minute or two before she gripped the mirror's handle with one hand, Hackett's hand with the other.
She slowly raised the mirror, squeezing Hackett's hand as she went. She gasped when she finally caught sight of herself.
If she hadn't already known, she'd never have been able to tell by looks alone. Her natural eye color being pale blue helped, but it wasn't just that—though Zaeed's being dark green had certainly made his stand out more. But where Zaeed had had skin grafts and the right side of his face was a bit… puffy, her scarring was nearly non-existent. There was a C-shaped scar, but it was already faint. The 20-year old scar over her opposite eyebrow was more pronounced than this new one.
She supposed it was the difference between the collaborative work of a vet and a field medic, and that of a trauma surgeon.
Hackett squeezed her hand. "You've been quiet for a good few minutes now. How do you feel?"
She shrugged. "It's not as dramatic as I thought it would be. Given my only frame of reference before this was Zaeed's, it's a shock to see it look so… normal."
"Why did it take you so long to look?"
"I wanted the bruising to go away first and…" She chewed her lip a moment. "I didn't believe you all the times you said it looked fine."
Hackett chuckled. "Fair enough."
Bex nearly threw the mirror across the room when her omni-tool went off, a vid-comm hail from Zaeed.
"Now that you've seen your own face, will you start taking vid calls again?" Hackett asked, taking the mirror from her. "Or will it be another week and a half before that happens?"
"Hush." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Your sarcasm is not appreciated here."
He shook his head with a laugh. "Will you please just answer the damn hail?"
She huffed. "Fine."
He kissed the top of her head as he stood. "I'll leave you in peace."
She waited until Hackett had closed the bedroom door behind him before she finally answered Zaeed's hail, holding a pillow in front of her face.
"What the fuck." It was hard to judge his mood without seeing his face. "I know the doc did reconstructive surgery but I didn't realize she'd turned your head into a pillow."
"I'm surrounded by a bunch of bloody jokers," Bex griped. "I just… I don't want you to be upset."
"What the hell would I have to be upset about, Half Pint?"
She sighed. "Just… it looks different to yours."
"And? Hell of a lot's changed in twenty years. Will you please just let me see it?"
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." She tossed the pillow to the side, where her twin kittens immediately attacked it. She kept her eyes on them instead of looking at Zaeed directly. "Well? What do you think?"
"Dr. Chakwas is a bloody genius."
"That she is." Bex nodded, laughing as Regina batted Holly Golightly in the face. "Strict as all hell, but a genius."
"Bex."
"Hmm?"
"I'm not upset, or whatever you're thinking, the reason you won't bloody look me in the eye."
She sighed and tore her eyes away from the feline wrestling match, to find Zaeed frowning at her. "What?"
"You've been avoiding me for a week now."
"You're the one who bolted the second I left the hospital," she countered, though she knew the argument was weak—he'd gotten a call from Liara about a bounty they'd lost track of just before Zorya. Looking back, it should have been a sign of the piss poor luck that followed.
Zaeed said nothing, only raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah. I know." Bex sighed again and scooped up the kittens in one arm. "Reggie and Golly say hi."
Zaeed laughed at the squirming kittens. "Surprised Chip hasn't eaten them for breakfast."
"How dare you slander my son's name!" Bex said, feigning offense. "Chip is a sweetheart and wouldn't hurt a fly!"
Now twenty years old, her beloved chocolate lab had been moved to Arcturus not long after the Normandy disaster, in hopes that he would help her where therapy had not. He'd taken to the kittens, a wedding anniversary present from Hackett, like a fish to water.
"Are we okay?" Zaeed asked.
Bex nodded. "We were always okay, Z. It was my own stupid thing. We're good."
"Good." He glanced at something past his screen and swore. "I gotta go, Half Pint."
The screen went dark before she could say anything else.
"'Bye then," she said even as her 'tool beeped at her again, startling the kittens. She raised an eyebrow at the message.
Hey you. Just checking to see how you're doing.
Getting together with Ash and Joker tonight, if you're feeling up to it. It's the anniversary of the Normandy, plus Ash and I are leaving tomorrow for new assignments.
Attaching coordinates just in case. Meeting up at 2200.
-K
It had been a year already? That didn't seem possible. The months afterward felt like they'd moved in extreme slow motion, so much so that time all but stopped—every day felt like the day after.
Bex was surprised Kaidan and Ashley were shipping out already. They'd only just come back from their first deployments post-Normandy. She was surprised Joker was still around though. Maybe he was feeling as lost as she was. He hadn't left in quite the same spectacular way she had, though he had filmed it and sent it to Zaeed. But he had left; he'd passed his evals, and yet the Alliance wouldn't give him a new assignment. It reminded her of her own troubles after Torfan.
Though she'd planned to have a quiet night in, she sent Kaidan a text saying she'd be there. It would do her some good to get out of the apartment—Christ now she sounded exactly like Hackett—and it would give her a chance to talk to Joker, see if he had any plans, or if he wanted to team up.
"To all those we lost along the way," Bex said just loud enough the others at the table could hear. "We wouldn't be standing here without them, but we wish they could be standing here with us." She raised her glass. "Sláinte."
The others murmured their responses and they all downed their shots of whiskey.
"Can't believe it's only been a year," Ashley said as she poured second shots for everyone. "Seems like so much longer."
Bex exchanged a look with Joker as Kaidan nodded. "Longer?"
"Seemed like it was just a few days ago to me," Joker said, echoing Bex's own thoughts.
"Maybe we need to get away," she said twenty minutes later after Kaidan and Ashley had brought a round of beers and then disappeared. "Just us."
Joker blinked. "Flattering as that sounds, I'm not suicidal. I don't want to be the 'other man' in your marriage."
"Don't be stupid," Bex said, though she knew he was kidding. "If there's another man in my marriage, it's my dog."
"Seriously, though, danger follows you around like a clingy toddler, Shep. I don't know if I'm prepared to handle that again."
"That's fair," she said, trying not to sound disappointed.
"What about Massani?"
She shook her head. "Us hunting together seems to be a bad combination. If one or the other finds a legit bead on Vido, we'll team up. But until then, we're going our separate ways."
"Not that I'm considering this in any way," Joker said between long, drawn-out sips of beer, "but what exactly did you have in mind?"
"You're not wrong that trouble follows me everywhere," Bex said. "I've got numerous groups and individuals gunning for my head. But I'd thought about trying to get a team together to take on the Collectors."
"The what now?"
"From what I gathered, between Liara and the Cerberus bitch, the Collectors were the ones who attacked the Normandy."
Joker inhaled his beer and spent the next five minutes coughing. When he'd finally caught his breath again, he stared Bex straight in the eye. "I'm in."
She nodded. "Thougtht that might get your attention. Sorry about the drink."
He waved off the apology. "I'm fine."
She briefly explained the situation, Liara's information and Miranda's proposal.
Joker nodded sagely when Bex was done. "Good call on telling the Cerberus chick to stuff it. Though I guess that does put another target on your back."
She shrugged. "They can get in line."
"Two questions: where are you going to get a ship? And is the Alliance doing anything about this?"
"From Hackett's reaction to Miranda's accusation, I'm guessing yes, they are, but he didn't want her to know anything."
"Makes sense."
"As for the ship, no bloody clue. I think maybe we should talk to him about all this."
Joker raised an eyebrow. "Because he's just going to let us use an Alliance ship?"
"No, but he could point us in the right direction. Or we could talk to Zaeed or Wrex."
"Do you want me to die?"
Bex snorted. "If Zaeed was gonna kill you, he'd have done it a year ago."
"Still…"
"If you don't want to talk to them, fine. But you'll probably end up working with them at some point."
"Thought you said you and Zaeed weren't gonna do that."
"That's bounty hunting. This is…"
"Bounty hunting, except we're the ones who want the bastards dead."
Bex huffed. "Whatever." She glanced around the bar, which had emptied out considerably since they'd arrived. "Wonder what happened to Kaidan and Ash?"
"Probably wanted to get an early night or something. Didn't they say their transport leaves at like 0500?"
"Better them than us."
Joker frowned. "You think?"
"Not that I didn't enjoy parts of my time in the Alliance—"
Joker had another sudden coughing fit, though Bex heard him mutter "like fucking the admiral" between coughs.
Ignoring him, she continued, "I just work better independently."
"I'm pretty sure you'd be dead a thousand times over if you'd ever truly worked independently.".
"Bite me. But you know what I mean."
He nodded. "Yeah I think I do. My dream since I first laid eyes on a ship as a kid was to fly one. Didn't really expect I'd be able to fly outside the Alliance, but this…" He sighed. "It'll be weird, not flying the Normandy, not flying Alliance."
"You're the best pilot I know, Joker," Bex said. "You'll figure it out soon enough."
"Yeah. Can't wait. So when do we start?"
"Well, I definitely don't want a repeat of Zorya." Bex shuddered. "So we'll need to figure out exactly what a Collector is, how they fight—"
"They sucker punch you with overwhelming firepower," Joker said, a bitter note in his voice. "Next question."
"I meant on the ground, genius. But also figuring out how to fortify our ship, when we get one, will be a priority, for sure."
"And you said something about a team. So it won't be the two of us against an army?"
"I'm not stupid."
Joker appeared to want to refute that but quickly thought better of it and backtracked. "Who's on your list?"
"Kaidan and Ashley are obviously out. I think anyone still in the Alliance will be out, really."
"True. Garrus? You mentioned Wrex. Liara? Tali?"
"The only one I've talked to in the last… very long time is Liara. Doubt she'll be up for fighting again, but I think we can count on her for information at least." Bex frowned. "Heard a rumor Garrus fucked off to Omega to take on Aria's gang problem."
"So he's dead."
"Joker!"
He rolled his eyes. "Sorry. We'll put him down as a maybe. Wrex?"
She shrugged. "I'd love to have him on the team, for sure, but I dunno. Might check in with Zaeed or Aria, see if they've heard from him." She sighed into her beer. "That leaves Tali."
"Pilgrimage."
Bex frowned. "That's gotta be long over by now, yeah? All the experience she got hanging out with Adams for six months had to count for something."
"You'd think. But who knows."
"Even if she doesn't want to fight, it would be good to have her for the engineering." Bex sighed again. "But I don't think we'll get anywhere trying to figure this out on our own. Our first stop will have to be Liara, Zaeed, or my admiral."
"'My admiral'?" Joker snorted. "Now you're starting to sound like Zaeed. Has he ever called him by his name, ever?"
"Not that I can remember. Not to me anyway."
"Weird."
"Don't let him catch you saying that." Bex nearly choked as a yawn overtook her just as she downed the last of her beer. "Let's pick this up tomorrow," she wheezed a couple minutes later. "Apparently, it's been a long day."
Joker nodded, patting her on the back as she continued to cough while they walked out of the bar. "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah."
"Hey, thanks for this, by the way," he said just before he got into a cab. "I think this'll do us both good."
"Yeah. Either we'll kick Collector ass or die trying. One way or the other, we won't be moping around Arcturus for the rest of eternity."
"Have a nice time?" Hackett asked as Bex walked into the living room and collapsed beside him on the couch. He raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"
She shook her head. "No, the actual memorial thing was nice. Didn't last long though. Kaidan and Ashley went to refill drinks and never came back, and Joker and I got to talking about our… situations."
"'Our' situations? Yours I understand, but Lt. Moreau is still with the Alliance."
Bex snuggled into Hackett's side. "Remember how restless I was after Torfan?"
"I vaguely recall some restlessness, yes," he said with a quiet laugh.
"Multiply that times two and you get Joker right now."
"I see."
"He's weighing his options, as it were, sitting around here for god knows how long or flying off into dangerous situations with me again."
"Oh? You're leaving again?"
Bex sighed. "As much as I would love to have a vacation with you, the honeymoon we'd talked about, I just can't relax with everything hanging over my head at the moment."
She felt Hackett nod. "I understand."
"Shit timing, I know, especially with Chip and the kittens. But I'll be around for a little while yet. Even with Joker onboard, I still need a squad… and a ship."
"That you do."
"We're still in the dark about all of it, really, but especially the ship. Planning to talk to Liara about it."
Hackett was quiet for a few minutes, though Bex could hear him tapping away on his omni-tool while she flipped through their movie collection. Finally, he stopped and showed her a site he'd pulled up. "Surplus and salvage ships for sale. Assuming you can find a reliable engineer."
She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Steven. I was worried you'd reject the idea outright or something."
"Is it my favorite idea ever? No. But you're a born fighter, for good or ill. Nothing will change that." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her back into his side. "So if I can do something to keep you safe while you run headlong into danger, I will."
"You do know me well."
He laughed. "I try my best. So do you have any ideas for a crew, Moreau aside?"
Bex listed off her ideal crew, Zaeed included—she couldn't imagine going out on her own without him by her side. She just hoped he'd agree.
"Wrex and Massani on the same ship? Are you sure that's wise?"
She shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Not even sure they'd both agree anyway."
"One can hope."
"Steven, be nice. I know they're not your favorite people in the universe—"
He brushed his lips against her ear. "That would be you, my love."
"And you're mine," Bex said with a giggle only he could pull from her. "But they're also two of my favorite people, so I'm gonna need you to get along."
"Massani and I got along perfectly well after your misadventure on Zorya."
"So I heard. But would you have actually gotten along if Joe hadn't been there as a buffer?"
"Perhaps."
Bex frowned. "That's not a yes."
"It's also not a no." Hackett sighed. "I am perfectly willing to work with him, or anyone I have to, when your life is in danger."
"I know," she kissed him again, "and I love you all the more for it. Just try to work on the times when I'm not in danger."
"Anything for you, my love."
