Thirty-nine – The Names
The Finale – Division Three (13.3)
He falls to the ground, axe still embedded. I swear I see him breathing but his cannon sounds immediately. It is over.
Shock. Anger. Disbelief. So many emotions running through my mind. But the tears do not yet come.
"Ryno!" I yell in anguish. Ringo turns around, pleasure on his face. More than satisfied with his kill.
"Hey, Henry." he greets menacingly.
"You killed him." I growl, and I charge at him, knife in my hand.
Ringo's eyes slightly widen, and he reaches down to retrieve his axe. But it doesn't budge. Ryno grunts in pain. Wait, Ryno grunted?
Ringo quickly gives up on the axe and picks up Ryno's sickle. I skid to a stop when he brandishes the blade in front of me. My knife has nothing on the reach and lethality of that sickle. I think my knife is only useful if I can bypass Ringo's blade and get in close. But I cannot do that. I flee.
And by the sound of his footsteps, Ringo is following me.
"You're next, Henry." he says teasingly as we run. I don't know where I'm going. East where Dominic and Jade went off too? North where Ringo possibly knows the layout of the palace and I do not? Or South where two of my traps are?
I turn towards the southern gap of the wall. Luckily Ringo isn't as fast as Elaine or the Careers, or else he would be gaining on me, but our margin is not changing at all. I do have time to lead him to the traps. Beyond that, our stamina is the test, and if I'm right that Ringo filled up on a lot of the sponsors gifts, it will be me that will run out stamina first. I would have to attack Ringo before I get too weak.
I descend the long, wide flight of stairs that leads to the Southern Straightaway. Ringo trails right behind me. Fortunately, I am good with handling stairs, so I make it down at a good pace without tripping. Unfortunately, Ringo has good experience with them, too.
I am lucky Ringo doesn't have his axe. My skull could be cleaved in half with a well-aimed throw by now, but Ringo isn't as skilled with a sickle and throwing it is a risk if he misses and becomes unarmed. It could be a risk for me too. My knife is able to be thrown, but I have tried in training, and my aim is not reliable. I cannot risk losing the only weapon I have.
Other than the traps. I remember which piles of rubble I rigged the traps between. Between the second and third. I leap over the aqueduct and slow down as I reach the rubble, trying to find the wire on the ground before I can trip over it. But I need to find it before Ringo catches up to me and we are both killed by the explosion.
It was somewhere mid-way between the piles of the rubble... There it is! I don't keep my eye off it when I approach the trap and jump over it. At the end of the pile, I pick up a heavy rock, ready to throw it at the wire in case Ringo also leaps over it. He knows about the traps after all, I just hope he forgot about it.
He has not. He slows down a bit into the mouth of the alley, catches a glimpse of the wire, and runs just as I let go of the rock. I try to take cover but the explosion still knocks me off my feet. I slam to the ground as some rocky dust settles on top of me. I force myself up. Other than the ringing in my ears, I feel okay, but so does Ringo. I don't hear a cannon, and when I return to the path between the two buildings, Ringo pulls himself up and runs around the left pile of rubble. He is going to come back to meet me in between these two rows of rubble, and now I have wasted one explosive. Okay, where is the other trap? It was somewhere in the second row, between the fourth and fifth piles.
I run along this road made narrower by the spread of the debris until I reach the alley between the fourth and the fifth piles of rubble. At the end of the alley is the wall to the South Garden, and I witness the ash and the bare trees that cover the place. It will be too hard to breathe in there. There was no sign of Ringo when I got to the alley, but as I look for the wire, Ringo descends the large pile of rubble behind me.
I panic as I frantically look for the wire. He is gaining on me. I planted it around mid-way as well, and I have only laid my eye on it for a bit when I step over it.
Once again I grab a rock from the end of the alley and turn it around, holding it up for Ringo. I realise he has not even entered the alley.
"I know what you're doing, Bomb Boy!" shouts Ringo. "You can't fool me! I was there when you showed them to us."
"Why are you doing this?" I ask exasperatedly.
"I want to win." he growls. "Don't you want to win, too?"
"Why are you like this?" I say. "I thought you were a quiet, peaceful boy. Not violent and sadistic."
"I was pretending." Ringo grumbles. "Just a façade. Just like you."
"What?" I ask, starting to boil with anger.
"Don't pretend you don't want to kill, Mr. Caring!" he says. "You know you want to survive. You know you want to kill me, too!"
I haven't directly killed anybody yet. He has killed Imogen. He has killed Ryno. He indirectly killed Elaine. I am not going to let him kill me, too.
"You're wrong." I yell.
"Admit it." he says. "You hate the Capitol as much I do. It's not news to them. You can just say it! You want to live. It's the best way to be against them."
"It's traitors I hate." I retort. "I'm not a traitor like you. You're just describing yourself."
Ringo spits. "You would have done it too if you had the chance!"
"No, I told you. I'm not you." I say, angry at Ringo's attempt to persuade me. I hate people telling me what I am or not. Especially somebody younger than me. "You talk too much shit for a thirteen-year-old."
"Come on. We're both part of the middle to poor districts! Are you saying you like the Capitol and would rather die for them?" says Ringo. "I tell you what, I'll let you show that you can kill. I'll let you kill me with that knife in your hand, but you have to be on your side of the wire, and me on mine. And you have to drop that rock, and your pack. All you have is your knife, but I will have nothing. I will even drop the sickle."
Ryno's bent sickle clutters on the ground. "See?" he says.
I immediately furrow my eyebrows. It's clear that Ringo has been the real enemy for me this whole time. I just cannot trust him. Even if he asked me not to kill him at the wire.
"I don't believe you." I say. "You just said you wanted to win and killed your way here. No way you're letting your life go that easily."
Ringo laughs. "If you're anything like me, I'd want you to win." he says. "And I'm bleeding out, as you can see by what your friend did here, to my arm. I might go into shock soon. You may as well speed up my death."
"You'll kill me before you can die." I say. "And you're telling me to let go of my pack so you can take it once you finish me off. Take all the food inside it. Very smart."
"Fine." says Ringo. "Keep it on. Just let go of the rock."
I throw the rock down the ground just because it's getting quite heavy but I would still be holding the rock otherwise.
"When I do stab you," I say. "You're going to fall on the wire. Then you're going to kill both of us."
"You can just push me away after stabbing me." Ringo says, shrugging. "I wouldn't risk the chance of Jade winning. She could still be alive, and we were never on their side, were we?"
"Didn't you work with Jade?" I ask. "You both came from the big building."
"Says you!" shouts Ringo. "You actively stayed with the Careers. If there's anybody working with her, it's you."
I guess he's right in his mind, but I am no less furious.
"Besides, the building is massive." Ringo says. "I didn't even know she was in there."
I take a step forward. "You promise to die?" I ask him.
"Yes, I do." he says. I don't believe him a single bit. "You first, so I know you won't throw your pack on the wire." he says.
"Why can't I just kill you by throwing the pack on the wire while you're there?"
"It's not direct." he says. "It's easier for a kill to be directly because of you if you use a knife. Now, come and I'll join you."
I don't even know why I'm even going ahead with what he asks for. He is clearly twisting this to go his way. But there is no other way out of this. Other than trying to slip past Ringo, the only means of escape is behind me, to the ashy South Garden, where Ringo has an advantage over me in climbing trees, dead or alive.
I could go in the Garden, tricking him into thinking I am going right to make him guard the next immediate gateway, when in fact I will go left. Why didn't I think of that earlier? Now, I am too close to the wire to make a quick run for it. I step right to the wire.
"Okay, your turn." I say.
I have the knife in my hand. Maybe I'm ready to kill somebody. I don't know if it's because Ringo is making it too easy, or that I'm changing. Maybe I can trust Ringo here. I'm going to let him be trusted. Just once. If he breaks that trust...
He quickly bends down to pick up the sickle.
"No!" I shout.
He doesn't throw it at me. He aims for my feet. He is aiming for the wire.
I should have known. I should have ran away when I had the chance. Now I am going to die because of him. Betrayed once again.
I turn around and run, but it is pointless. The blade is going to reach the wire before I could go out of the explosion's range and save myself from death or serious injury. I dive to the ground, expecting the world to explode.
Nothing.
I turn around for the sickle. It's on the ground. The sharpness and the force of the blade simply cut the wire, but that is not how my trap works. The stick in the explosive itself needs to release.
Ringo is paused in a crouched position behind the rubble.
"What?" he wonders, perplexed.
"Haha!" I laugh in both shock and happiness at Ringo's failure.
I use his time of confusion to get up and run.
"You're not going to get away with this!" Ringo shouts, going after me. As I turn right around the corner of the wall into the South Garden, I just see him bend down to pick up the sickle. The sickle! I should have picked it up before I left so he had nothing.
I cannot dwell on that now. I have to put as much distance as I can from him. But I notice one thing weighing we down and stopping me from doing that. My pack. It's too heavy with food.
As I run, I take the pack off my bag and lift the flap open. I pick up an apple.
"Come back here!" I hear Ringo scream.
I briefly turn around to throw the apple at him. I turn around before it reaches him but I just know it misses.
"Ha!" He cackles. "You think you can stop me with food? Who are you? The- OOF!"
The potato I threw hits square at his face. Even I am a bit shocked by that. But I keep running. It buys me some time.
I turn right through the closest gateway and keep running and throwing pieces of a nice, whole lunch meal in attempts to slow him down. I navigate through the buildings to make it to the Straightaway. Along the way, I can hear Ringo shrieking things behind me. I think he has gone insane.
"I need to win!" I catch his words. "I need to kill you! They killed my father! They ruined my family! My mother needs me! I want to show the fucking Capitol what they've done!"
I wish I never registered what Ringo had said. I cannot break for him. No, he's evil. He doesn't deserve to win as much as he did before he betrayed us. No, I do not want somebody like him to win. But what about his mother? Does she deserve to be alone, without her son? No, I cannot feel any sympathy for him right now. What about me? I lost my innocence, my best friends, and if I die now, my family will lose me. I cannot let somebody else win right now. I'm angry that somebody else is trying to steal that feeling from me.
I don't throw any more fruit when I climb back up the stairs to the square. I check behind me. Ringo is much faster at ascending stairs than I am. The panic sets in, and I trip and fall forwards, stopping me. The fear of falling such a great height makes the panic worse. Shit! This could be fatal. Ringo trails too close now.
"Almost there!" screams Ringo. "One step closer to becoming the winner. You're just in my way!"
I could not recover from that trip. A few steps later, I trip once again, yelling in frustration.
Ringo's voice is too close now. I don't have a lot of steps left, but I can't escape him.
"Ringo Tollens," he screams. "The victor of the 66th Annual Hunger Games!"
I hold the pack in front of me, turning around just in time for the blade of the sickle to lodge inside. The force almost brings another part of the blade to my head.
Ringo pushes the blade down hard, but with adrenaline and all my might, I push the pack forward with the loudest scream I've ever let out.
The pack and the sickle are forced out of both of our hands, and I fall on Ringo sideways. I latch onto him as we both roll back down the stairs, the stone hitting against my head hard a few times. But I also see Ringo's head impacting on the stairs when I am flipped on top of him. I notice the blood from his arm start to stain my body. The knife is still firmly in my grip, and I try to stop it from accidentally wounding me. We grunt as both of us and the pack of food continue to fall down the stairs, almost seeming endless. Both of us have our hands gripped on each other's shoulders. Ringo is trying to bite my face off, roaring with every lunging attempt. I endure the strength of pushing him away.
Finally, my back hits the ground, but momentum flips us a bit further a couple more times.
And it is me who ends up on top. I use my weight to pin him down, my legs to secure his legs, and my left arm to pin his right elbow down.
He tries to reach up, using his remaining arm to scratch at me. It is too short. He flails around uselessly. He could only scratch at me left arm, but I am keeping it firm.
With the knife in my right hand, I lift it up high, ready to bring it down, but I hesitate.
I can really just end Ringo's life right now. At this very moment. There's nothing that can stop me but myself.
Ringo himself has stopped struggling. "What are you waiting for?" He says. "You're a killer."
"So are you." I growl, before plunging the knife deep in his chest.
I hear him gasp. One stab for killing Ryno.
I rip the knife out and dig it deep into his body once again. Two, for killing Imogen.
He coughs, the blood seeping out of his body. When I furiously take out the knife out, blood splatters in my face, but I do not care. Three, right in the heart, for slashing Imogen's leg. Out and in again. Four, for killing Radia.
I know Ringo didn't kill Radia, but I am mad. I still need my revenge against her.
I don't stop. Five, for having Resa starve to death. Six, for letting the Careers terrorise Pyra in her last moments of death. Seven, for letting all these children kill each other in such a cruel event.
Pure anger turns to intense sadness. I have a feeling I am doing exactly what I have just said I'm angry that it has been done. But I know I'm still angry at everything, and I am not stopping letting it all out.
Eight, for killing so many other children in previous years. Nine, for having Tiberius touch me and so many other boys before me. Ten, for not letting victors of the Games alone and not having to mentor other kids. Eleven, for treating the killings as some kind of thing to praise. Twelve, for letting so many people live in complete oppression while you stay rich. For killing fathers, mothers, children, for no reason. For sowing division rather than unity. For romanticising living in barbarism to wealth. For doing whatever they wish to people without any checks and balances. For not giving our people any freedom.
And one more for the awful thing I have just done. I drop the knife and stare at Ringo's mangled body in front of me. He has been long dead, and I have just ruined him. I have just taken all my anger and frustrations out on him.
I hold my hands to my head. What did I just do? I did exactly what I should not have. I did just what the audience wants. Total killings and bloodshed. And now this boy is dead because of me. His mother. She is going to be on her own. Her family ends there, because of me. And I have left the last of her son in a mess. She is going to see her son's body, knowing that the boy from District 3 ruined his life.
The boy's cannon booms and I burst into tears. I am no longer myself. I have become murderous. Selfish. Malevolent. Ringo was right. I'm not different. None of us are. We all have to kill, or die before we can.
I don't know what to do now. Have I won? No, either Jade or Dominic are still alive. They are probably looking for whoever is left, being me. No, I cannot take it anymore. I just want it all to stop. I want it to be over. Automatically, I turn to Ryno for comfort, like I did with Radia. But now he's gone too.
And I have never said goodbye to him.
But his corpse should still be there, though. I can still stay goodbye, if the hovercraft hasn't yet taken his body. I have to. I pick up the knife and head up the stairs.
Please, have him still there for me. I doubt it. The whole ordeal with Ringo took twenty minutes. The hovercraft is usually done with the body in a quarter of that time. I still need five minutes to get to where he died.
I arrive at the square and run to the gap west. I am surprised at how physically unhurt I am. I can still run with no limp. As I get closer, I take a good look through the gap, hoping to see him there, despite the slimmest chance that he is.
But he is.
I don't make it to him any slower I have ever been. I ignore the axe in his leg, and immediately stare at his pale, lifeless face, about to pay my respects.
"Henry?" I hear the sound come out of his mouth.
He's alive. Oh my shit, he is still alive.
"You're- you're alive!" I pant, hugging him, then pulling back when I realise I could be hurting him. "Don't move."
I immediately cut the slings off of the pack resting on his stomach and place it under his attached foot, raising it higher. I move back to his face.
"H- how?" I ask. "I can't believe it. I'm so happy."
"Hey, 'poop'." is all he could say.
"You're a bit too late for that." I chuckle, then I look at his leg in concern. There is a lot of blood pouring out from where the blade meets the skin. I try not to get sick looking at it.
"You look awful." he says weakly. It must be all of Ringo's blood. "Did you get him?"
I nod. He gives a small smile.
"Are we the Final Two?" he asks.
I think about it. There were five of us, and three cannons have sounded. Ryno and I are still alive. We really are the Final Two. Jade or Dominic died first, then the cannon who I thought was Ryno was actually the other one of the two. How did the other die while Ringo, Ryno, and I were with each other? Did Dominic and Jade lethally maim each other? It does not matter anymore.
"Yes." I say to Ryno, my voice almost cracking from emotion. "It's really just the two of us. We've made it."
Ryno smiles at me and a tear wells up in one of his eyes. Then he looks down towards his leg. "The blade." he groans. "I'm bleeding so much. I'm going to die."
"No, no, Ryno." I plead. "Stay with me. I can heal you. We'll stop the bleeding. I have bandages. I can make a tourniquet-"
"No." he interrupts. "It's no use. There's no way you can fix that."
"The doctors can fix you." I blurt out. "They can. They always do."
"But that means-"
"I'll kill myself, yes." I say. "So you can live."
"No!" he shouts, then winces and groans loudly in pain when he moves too much.
"Ryno!" I yell. "Please don't move."
"I can't let you do that." says Ryno, as his pain falls back to a tolerable level. "And have you looked at my leg? They can't fix that either. There's that to take care of, and then my shock. In fact, I feel like I'm going into shock right now..."
His eyes don't focus on me anymore, but they roll back as his eyelids fight to stay open.
"Ryno, no, hey!" I squeeze his shoulders. "Not yet. Please, stay with me. Please stay alive. Please don't be joking."
"Shit, how did you know?" he says, relatively normally.
"If you didn't have an axe in your leg, I'd hit you so hard." I say. "You can't joke right now! You're dying! Stop freaking me out!"
"Remember when I said I resort to humour when I'm stressed?" he asks me. "Just a habit. Even when I'm about to die."
Ryno is refusing to stay alive. Maybe he just doesn't want me to die. Or maybe he really thinks he can't stay alive. Maybe I'm the delusional one who thinks he can still live. He has been here for what, 25 minutes? With an axe in his leg, slowly bleeding out. He doesn't have long, but I do not want to believe that. Not at all.
"We'll both die." I suggest.
"That's the stupidest and smartest thing I've ever heard." he says quietly.
"I just don't want to lose you!" I reveal, going in to hug him. "I just love you so much." I sob into his chest. "So much. You deserve so much better."
"We all do." Ryno says calmly. He puts his arms around me but I don't object to his movement. "I love you too, Henry."
"Maybe you shouldn't." I say. "I just killed Ringo is the worst way possible. So unlike myself. I'm- I'm a monster!"
"No, you still are yourself." Ryno mumbles. "You've come back to me. You're still the caring Henry I know. Just show more of that."
His words dig deep into my mind. We all deserve better. All these tributes deserved to live. Deserved to grow and lead fulfilling lives and die a noble age.
I know I cannot do much now. I can't bring them back to the dead. I know we'll bring them back to our memories in the Victory Tour, but that just seems so far away, and so temporary. I need to somehow pay tribute to them while I'm still here, where they have spent the last of their breath. Suddenly, I have an idea.
"Just hold on for a few more minutes." I order Ryno. "Do not die on me now." And I leave.
"Henry-!"
I am not in the woods where there are any leaves or flowers. There is nothing to decorate anything with. The closest thing I can use to writing are the rocks and dust from the building rubble. So that's what I use. I gather some into my shirt until I can't hold any anymore.
I plop down back next to Ryno and release the stuff on the ground. I know the rubble is more discernible on the cement pavement in the square, but the rubble can be made out from the gravel too.
I want to let everybody know that I remember these children who have died, and help everybody remember them too. They need something better than death from the Hunger Games. They need to be immortalised in people's minds. Most of all, they and their families need to know they're worth a lot more than victims. This is what I do. This is me again.
I move and wipe the pile and rubble into names, the names of the tributes who were not just my competition, but were my friends, allies, and innocent people who have unluckily participated in the Capitol's awful plot against real people. The names in the order of their deaths.
First, at Ryno's head, the boy who did not even last minutes into the Games. A boy who had my back, and I claimed to have his, but I never showed it. I just watched his head dent and split in the ground. I'm so sorry.
Abel.
"What are you doing?" rasps Ryno.
"Writing the names of the tributes." I say.
Ryno smiles before I could say why I'm doing it. "There you are." he says. "When you get to my name... Spell it right."
"I will."
I have another idea. While I write these names, I sing the Wheat Song. I begin the lyrics and he smiles again, looking deep into my face. He is happy.
Underneath Abel's name, I move the dirt into place to spell the name of the girl whose life was also cut too short by the muscle of District 10. I wonder if you were like Quentin, living in the poorer regions of District 4 as well, having to come into the Games with a Career reputation to uphold.
Barb.
Next are all the other children who have died in the bloodbath, except for one who I will leave until last because I am sure he was the last to die. So for these six names, I go by district number. The girl from District 5. I never had the chance to talk to her. I wish I knew you more than the vibrant colour of your hair. I cast my mind to what Magnus called her.
Victoria.
Then one of my allies, who I thought was going to go so far with me in these Games. You had an incredible heart, and you were too young. It's too unfair. I could never say goodbye until now.
Connie.
The other of my closest allies who I never had the chance to farewell. I felt I could relate so much with you. When your face appeared in the sky that day, I was crushed. I wish we talked so much more.
Greig.
The district partner of my closest ally who is lying right here, right now. I thought the two of you weren't that close, but he has made it clear that you are. You were one of the few who trusted me so much in training when I had trouble speaking to anybody. I was so looking forward to sticking with you.
Steffi.
"I wrote Steffi's name." I note to Ryno. He doesn't reply. "Ryno?"
He changes his hand into a thumbs up, then I hear him sniffle. He is still alive and responsive, at least.
Next is a little girl who I have also barely talked to. I can't imagine how your family must feel, especially your little brother who depended on you. I can't stop thinking about Algo. I hope they're handling the loss well.
Mina.
The boy from District 12 is next, with the dark eyes. Like so many others, you were so young. I remember my last visions of you alive, taking the loaf of bread in front of me on my plate. Your name escapes me right now. What was it? I think to the interviews...
Clay.
The final casualty of the bloodbath. You were the only Career who seemed willing to take me on. I was sure that you were not going to kill me if you found out I was alive on the ground. But you were killed before you could talk to me. I witnessed your quick death. I wish I did not.
Guano.
The nine names who didn't make it past the initial bloodbath. Next is... No... One of my first friends, despite you being so different from me. You were so positive, so bright, so beautiful. I'm so happy you died the way you wanted to, even though I wish you never did. I am writing your name slightly bigger than the others. You have become so special to me. I miss you so much.
Radia.
One of my tears fall onto her name. I wipe my eyes and quickly move on, because I still have Ryno to worry about. I have to finish this before he can die.
You were caught by us. Then you asked me to kill you. I was so nervous but now I wish I had, now that I could, because you didn't want the Careers to get a kill. Don't worry, it was Magnus who killed you, and he was always with us. I wish I could have let you know that.
Pyra.
I am up to Ryno's right hip, where his hand also rests. I see it open and close. I place my hand there and we hold each other's while I sing and write the rest of the names.
The next person surprised me so much. You didn't reveal much of yourself at all, but then we opened up and you were only person that kept me sane with the Careers. You taking the knife to kill Pyra because I didn't want to, and you sacrificing your life to take Virgil down and make it easier for me is something I will never forget.
Magnus.
The next is the beast who Magnus dragged down. You were super strong. You could have won easily. Except you chose to keep me and Magnus because you have heart, but we ultimately ended up being you and your alliance's downfall.
Virgil.
"I've run out of ink." I let Ryno know.
"Those aren't the lyrics."
I move off to collect more rubble, enough for the last ten names. I return and continue writing and singing where I left off, holding Ryno's hand.
For the boy from District 11, I regret not knowing you that well. But I'm happy that my ally did seem to really care about you. I do not even know how you died but I hope it wasn't painful.
Manu.
I hated seeing the girl from District 8 like I did. I remember your quietness in training, slender yet regal. I am sorry you had to last without much food at all. I remember your last words before Ryno used that sickle. "Win." I am happy to say I may have.
Resa.
I'm moving too low to keep on holding Ryno's hand, so I let go.
"Who are you up to?" asks Ryno.
"The girl from District 2." I tell him.
He pauses. "What order are you doing them in?"
"Death order."
"That makes sense."
Fierce is what I would use to describe this Career. I hated the way you confronted me with the Coalition, but I understand. You were trying to live, just like everybody else. I hope you died fighting hard against Dominic and Elaine like a Career usually does.
Mariana.
I'm getting to the people I know quite well now. I was wrong about you, boy from the fishing district. We all were. You are not the Career everybody thinks about. It was only because you were chosen. I am sorry you had to die a horrible death at Ryno's hands. I'm going to miss your childish ways.
Quentin.
Almost there. A few more names, but a few too many. I finished singing the Wheat Song but I just loop it.
The first member of our Coalition to die. I can't think how awful it is to die so unexpectedly. You must have thought it was inexplicable for Ringo to betray you like that. At least the last thing you saw was your lover. You never had the chance to protect me as you said you would. You did, fellow singer.
Imogen.
It is hard to describe the next girl except unique. You were amazing, but also the purest soul out here. You saved me countless times. You kept me secret, remembered evidence that stopped me from going to the Careers and most of all, had the idea of the alliance. We would not have made it far without you. You deserved much better than to burn alive, kid- young lady.
Elaine.
For the next two tributes, I do not know who died first, and who died right when Ryno's leg was half-amputated. But I am going to put the boy from District 10 first, because his condition was awful by this morning, and he was wounded by Jade's arrow. You were so strong yet so calm and collected. You really had a big chance to win. I'm so sorry you had to experience your girlfriend's unexpected death. I think I will feel like how you felt once Ryno takes his last breath here. I am not ready. But you showed me love. I hope you and Imogen are happy in the afterlife.
Dominic.
I don't know why I would ever forgive the girl from District 1 for killing Radia, but I do. You may have been the most skilled, all-rounded tribute here. You knew how to escape when you did. You've outlasted your alliance at least. You were tough. You were so close. I don't know how you died, if it was by Dominic, but you could have won. You could have shot me as well right now.
Jade.
I regret killing you like that. I desecrated your body with at least fifteen stab wounds. I should have stabbed you just once but no, I was too angry, angry at everything, angry like you were chasing after me. Maybe you are right. None of us are different in the arena and it doesn't matter. That battle could have ended very differently. You were so close. You ended up being my first kill, and that is going to be on my mind for so long.
Ringo.
At last, the final, twenty-third name from the long list. And like all of them, it hurts to do it. But it hurts the most, because he is my friend, and he's right here. I stop the song.
"Ryno." I say my thoughts out loud. "When I first saw you in the parade, in training, and in the interviews, I always thought you were some cocky, insufferable, careless bastard. I mean, meeting you in the arena, you had your sickle against my neck. You could have killed me right then and there. I remember disliking you, like a lot."
I hear Ryno gasp. "You never told me that!"
"But I don't anymore. I feel the opposite, and I've felt guilty thinking about you like that ever since. Because when I got know you, I saw somebody who is actually quite sensitive and insecure, and you liked me. You readily opened up to me, so that meant you were quick to trust me, even though I probably showed signs that I wanted to leave. And you had so much hope in us, in me. I'm so happy to have seen this side of you. And this side includes the annoying jokes and sense of humour that really does cheer me up. But the thing I most appreciate is that you're so incredibly loyal."
"Henry..." he groans. "Thank you. That's the sweetest thing I have ever-"
"Sorry, I'm not done." I tell him.
He mutters something like, "Oh okay then, I might as well just die."
I continue. "From our first day in the arena together, day five when we learned things about each other for the first time, you being understanding about me being with the Careers, you having mercy on Resa when we found her, you being so captivated by my knowledge of the arena and the explosive traps, you remembering my birthday, you wanting to make my birthday special, you tending to me when I was injured with the reptiles, and you promising to stick with me when we found the Coalition. We never stopped thinking about each other. We did have that rocky moment when we killed Quentin, but you never once left my side until the betrayal of the eleventh day. And those days after that - twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen - were the most awful without you. I miss the times when we were together, and still do, but then we found each other last night. And we got to do one more thing one last time. You've become more than a friend to me. My best friend."
I form the final letters on the ground with all the rubble that remains. It is large as Radia's name, maybe even larger.
"Ryno." I announce, completing the list. "R-H-I-N-O." I joke, trying to stay positive.
"Aren't they extinct?" asks Ryno, very weakly now.
"You stink." I say. I am becoming like him now, trying to laugh to distract myself from the shit that's going on. Except I'm not doing as well, or as kindly.
"So are you trying to stay I'm going to be extinct like rhinos are?" he asks. "Now that I'm dying?"
"No, that's not what I meant!" I protest.
Ryno chuckles but then chokes. I move over to his right and lean over him to check him. He is not looking any better.
"Oh, hey man." he says, eyes rolling around from me to the sky unfocused. "I'm- I'm struggling to see."
That's means he is close. I really don't want him to be. "No!" I beg. "Please, not yet. I'm not ready. I'm not ready."
"I'm almost there..." Ryno just spots my tears. "Don't cry."
"I have to!" I sob. "You're dying on me! All the times we had... I won't be able to spend any more with you if you go!"
"Henry... you already said the most heart-warming goodbye to me." says Ryno. "I need to say one of my own."
I sniffle. "No. I wish it wasn't goodbye!"
"It is." He says, defeated. "Henry, unlike you with me, I've liked you. I've always liked you. Every single moment we were together here, all those things you've said. I loved. I felt safe. I wanted you because I felt you could... control me, you know? I can learn to be calm and to be kind from you. And I have. You have taught me to be better, to fight for what's right in a more caring, less enraged way. I'm better, and I'm so happy. I'm dying now, and now that's okay to me. I hope it's okay to you."
I can't even talk properly from the choking of sobs, or see from all the tears.
I'm reminded of Radia, whose last moments felt the exact same way. She was glad to live the life she had, because of me.
Same with Ryno. He is ready to die. But I am not ready.
"Ryno..." I splutter.
"You've won, Henry." he says. "I'm so glad it's you. You can go back to your family. You can continue making music. You can get a dog. You can help your district fight. When you can, just tell my family I love them-"
Ryno chokes up from the thought. He'll be leaving his brothers, his sister, all alone.
"And to- to stay-" Then Ryno rolls back his eyes, closing them.
"Ryno!" I shake his shoulders when I should not, and his eyes go back open.
He struggles to speak. "I'm- I'm almost-"
I rock powerlessness over him. "No, no, no, please, Ryno..."
He manages to grab my hand using the only little strength he has left in him. We stare at each other's eyes. Mine in despair. His in happiness.
"Thank you." he whispers. "For everything."
"Thank you." I return.
It really is the end now. I do what I did to Radia, to Abel after he died. I softly hold Ryno's head, stroking his hair, then I lean down to kiss Ryno's cheek.
He moves. He turns his head so that it is our lips that touch. But neither of us pull away. I feel my heart skip a beat. We linger. All the negative thoughts I had float away into oblivion while our lips touch. A wave of warmth slowly moves throughout my body. I could stay. I can stay for so long. It's this feeling. It's this feeling of not wanting to let go. It's love.
After a while of this inexplicable rush of giddiness, adrenaline, and satisfaction, I slowly let go.
Ryno looks at me in fulfilment, gaining his breath back. "Take it out." he says, and I remove myself from the trance to realise he is referring to the axe. "I'm ready."
I nod, standing up and walking over to his legs. I'm about to shorten the life of my best friend.
"You're going to see your mother again." I assure him.
"And Loaf." he says, closing his eyes.
I step on his left leg and hear him stifle a grunt. I grip the axe handle near the blade, and with one force, I pull it out.
Blood gushes out from the site. Ryno screams at first but goes to breathing fast and loudly. As the blood drains from his body, so does the life out of him. His skin turns even paler. I can do nothing but kneel down, hold his hand, and watch.
In seconds, he breathes his last.
He is gone.
The cannon sounds. I stand up. The trumpets blare. The voice of Claudius Templesmith booms overhead.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victor of Sixty-sixth Hunger Games, Henry Denton! I give you, the male tribute of District Three!"
I should feel hyped, or excited. But I just feel stunned and empty. I am a victor. That is just what I am. Just another victor of the arena.
The live roar of the crowd plays over the speakers. Yes, it's the crowd I have always played up to. Now comes the day, week, month long process of presentations and fame. It is not over. I am a survivor of the Games, but still a victim, a pawn, in the Capitol's own game.
The hovercraft materialises above me, and a ladder drops down. I stare at Ryno's body and beside him, the names of the twenty-three children who have died. I feel like my name should be there as well.
As the hovercraft pulls the ladder with me attached to it up, I wonder if I will ever regret surviving the Games. I feel like I already do.
/y8h4fywb
Next: 40 - The Crowning; The Decision Division One (14.1)
