Chapter 38 – I Can Feel Your Halo

Note: Chapter Title from Beyoncé's song 'Halo'

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Now that that's out of the way, let's begin…

Last time,

In this moment Blaise is more sure of two things than he ever has been before.

He is loved

And he is not alone.

Now,

As the rest of the kids in the house sit in Pansy, Astoria, Ginny, and Hermione's room, Ginny feels a heat coming from her pocket.

She leans back slightly to ensure that Ron's back is blocking everyone's view of her before she pulls out her enchanted paper.

You're the only one with a hope of knowing how to find these horcruxes. We need to know what happened. If you don't remember everything now, we need to find a way to bring those memories of the diary back. There's no other choice.

Ginny stares at the page before she shakes the message away and shoves it into her pocket. She makes some comment about getting snacks, she's really not sure what exactly she said, and leaves the room.

She heads downstairs where the Order still is, Dumbledore having been called in to get up-to-date.

"Headmaster," She calls as she steps into the room. Dumbledore looks over in confusion. She takes a deep breath, "Could I have a word?"

He, and everyone else, looks confused, but nods and follows her into the study where she shuts the door.

"Is everything all right, Miss Weasley?" Dumbledore asks her.

Ginny shakes her head, "No, it isn't. I…I didn't want to know before, truly I didn't. I was sure I never would. So I didn't ask. But given that he's back, given everything that's happened, I have to know." Dumbledore looks mildly concerned but nods for her to continue. "What was that diary? What was that thing that kidnapped me? What did it do to me?"

Dumbledore nods, understanding dawning on his face. "Have a seat, Miss Weasley," He says, indicating towards a couch in the room. He takes a seat on the opposite end of it. "The diary held a portion of Tom Riddle's soul. It has been destroyed, you are safe from it, I assure you." Ginny's brow wrinkles as she wraps her arms around herself. "He didn't just kidnap you, did he?" Dumbledore asks as he takes in her reaction.

"I don't know. I don't remember it, not really. But…sometimes…" She trails off for a moment before she continues, "Sometimes I dream about the writing on the walls, about being the one to put it there, and I think that maybe he got to me before I disappeared. But how could he have made me do anything? He was just a whisper, not even a ghost, not really."

"Even whispers have the power to change a person's mind, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore replies, "It is possible he made you do it. But he is gone now, your mind is your own, take comfort in that."

"I'm not sure I can, Headmaster. Not until he's gone for good. And certainly not while he's got one of my best friends, and has warped his mind too." Ginny lets a tear fall down her face before she looks back up at him, "I-If you knew where he was, could you save him? Would Professor Snape's potion really work?"

"No one knows that spell better than your Professor. I have the upmost confidence in his cure." He looks at her gently, encouragingly, "Do you know where he is?"

Ginny bites her lip, "No, but I might have a way to find out."

Dumbledore nods, "And is it safe?" Ginny nods. "We cannot help Harry until we know where he is."

"I'll do my best."

Ginny gets up and leaves the room, running into Remus on the stairs as he heads down them. "Professor," She says, grabbing his attention. "Professor, you knew of a way to remove memories," She says quietly, "Do you know of a way to retrieve ones that have been blocked out?"

Remus frowns slightly but nods, "A pensieve. Harry doesn't remember what happened when he was a year old, but he could show it because it was there. If you can think of the time the memory should have taken place, the same way you pull a memory out to put it in a pensieve should find it. You can partially use it to draw the memory out without pulling it out entirely."

Ginny nods slowly, then faster, "Thank you." She begins walking away before she stops and turns back to him, "Is Blaise all right?"

"…No," Remus replies honestly, "But he will be, one day. It's just going to take time."

Unable to wait, and knowing the Fidelius Charm will prevent the ministry from locating the use of underage magic, Ginny locks herself in the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, "I've got to know," She says, "Not for Harry, for me. I've got to know what happened to me." She nods to herself, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet as she pulls her wand out and points it at her head, focusing on the time she had the diary. She starts performing the Memory Extraction Spell, and feels the memories shifting in her mind as these fight through the self-imposed block in her mind. The moment she feels them break through she stops casting the spell, dropping her wand and grabbing her head. She falls to the ground as the memories come flooding back.

"Hello Ginny."

She hears from within her mind. Her eyes fill with tears, "Tom? I-It worked? You're okay?"

"I am. Are you?" His voice sounds filled with concern.

Ginny feels conviction fill her, "Yes. And I know how to save you, how to give you your life back." She shakes her head, "But for now, I need to know everything you'd already planned for the horcruxes."


Half an hour later, Ginny pulls out her enchanted paper, a plan forming in her mind.

So, here's what I'm thinking. You tell Dobby where you are, I call Dobby, Dobby tells me, I tell the Order. Severus takes the potion to 'cure you' to wherever you are. You get 'cured', but refuse to come back, be done with the war. Then you can go horcrux hunting before school comes back and destroy them with a basilisk fang next term.

She waits a few moments before the answer comes.

Do it.

Ginny leaves the bathroom, going into the bedroom only to find everyone has left. She heads downstairs, finding everyone at dinner.

"Ginny, finally," Ron comments.

"How do we call for a House-elf that doesn't serve anyone?" Ginny asks.

"Think hard enough about them and they should feel the pull of a summons. It's just that now they'll have the chance to ignore it should they choose," Draco replies.

Ginny nods, "Cool, because I had a thought. Harry's bloody useless." All of the kids nod to that. "So, if he needs to get from place to place, and needs someone totally loyal, who's he gonna call?"

"Ghostbusters?" Tonks offers, earning amused looks from those often in the Muggle world except Mary, everyone else looks confused. "Nevermind."

"Dobby!" Hermione realises. Ginny nods even as she starts thinking of him as hard as she can. Dobby appears before her.

"How can Dobby help Ginny Weasley?" Dobby asks instantly.

Ginny smiles, "Hey Dobby. I need to know where Harry is."

Dobby's eyes widen as he shakes his head and steps backwards, "Dobby can't tell Ginny Weasley that. Dobby promised."

"Dobby," Ron says as he comes over and kneels beside the elf, "Harry's in some trouble, but we can help him. We just need to find him."

Dobby hesitates for a moment before he nods, "Harry Potter is at the Potter Mansion."

"Right, I'm going this time. Severus, give me the potion," Sirius demands.

"Sirius, is that a good idea? He seemed pretty angry at you," Severus points out.

"Then he'll be angry at you as well. I'm his Dad, let me save him," Sirius requests.

Severus grimaces as he hands over the potion, knowing there's no real argument he can make this time without seeming suspicious. They'll just have to hope Harry's acting skills are up to snuff.


Dobby takes Sirius to Potter Mansion where he finds Harry at the dining room table. Sirius forces back the memories seeing a teenager who looks so much like James sitting at this table brings back. So many Christmases, so many Order Meetings. So much time. But none of that matters. Not when Harry needs him.

He hides behind the wall, giving Dobby the potion to put into Harry's drink which he then serves him. Harry drinks from it immediately as Dobby poofs away. Sirius walks into the room, hoping beyond hope that his son will be okay.

"Harry?"

Harry's head whips round, taking Sirius in. He wonders why it isn't Severus, and instantly realises he needs to act. He looks down at his drink, assumes the potion ended up in that, and then looks back up. He throws himself at Sirius, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't…I didn't mean what I said, I didn't mean what I did, oh my god," Harry says as he cries into Sirius' shoulder. It takes Harry a while to realise the tears aren't fake, to remember that that spell was cast on him, that he did hurt his friends, emotionally if not physically. He made Benni cry.

Sirius holds him close, tears in his own eyes that he ignores to comfort his son, "It's all right Harry, it wasn't you. It wasn't you." A while later, when Harry has calmed down, Sirius pulls back slightly to look him in the eye, keeping hold of his shoulders. "Harry let's go home, the others are worried, your friends miss you."

Harry shakes his head, "They should hate me. I was gonna take Ginny to him. I would've done it, I would've given him Ginny, how could I have even considered it?"

"It didn't happen," Sirius reminds him.

"Only because bloody Voldemort stopped me. What the hell was that about anyway?" Harry asks, devastation still clear on his face, "Oh my God, Lillie. She's with Greyback!"

"We'll save her," Sirius says simply. He looks at Harry intently, "Harry. Ginny's fine. Everyone is fine, Lillie is going to be fine. There is enough bad going on, don't spend your time worrying about Bad things that haven't even come to pass."

Harry frowns, eyes glassy with tears as he nods. "I don't want to go back," Harry whispers.

"You won't, you never have to go back to him."

"No, to the Order, to the war, to any of it," Harry tells him, tears falling again and voice thick with pain. "I've lost so much, Sirius. I can't lose my mind too. I have to get out, I have to stay out, I can't do this. I don't want to be a part of this war, I just want to be safe, I don't want to go back, please don't make me go back!" Harry begs.

Sirius pulls him close again, debating for a moment before he nods, "Okay. Okay, you don't have to go back. It's okay. You're okay."

Sirius sits him back down at the table, taking a seat beside him and holding him until he calms down again.

Sirius takes a fortifying breath, knowing that the things Harry said were true, even if he didn't mean to say them. "Harry…I owe you an apology."

Harry raises an eyebrow, "What did you do?"

"I didn't tell you the truth, when we met in that shack." Harry looks gobsmacked that he's bringing it up and confused where it even came from. Sirius nods, smiling ruefully, "It wasn't anything to do with you, which was my second mistake. I didn't feel like I deserved to have my son with me after I abandoned you to begin with. James was such an amazing person and I felt like you were better off believing you were his kid than being stuck with the guy who left you behind, an act I can never apologise enough for."

"Why are you saying this?" Harry asks, voice thick though he refuses to allow any emotion to show on his face. Why he bothers, considering his breakdown moments earlier, he's not sure. But that was one thing, this is…too much.

"When we were trying to rescue you, we had to go through this maze that…it was a situation. But one thing it did was make us hear…echoes, I guess, of our worst mistake. And then we were faced with the people we care about agreeing with…our worst thoughts about those moments, and about ourselves." Sirius looks at his hands as he leans back against the back of the chair. "I saw your mother, she was telling me that I didn't deserve to have you with me, and that's when I realised. You were the one who suffered because of my decision. It's not about what I deserve, it's about what you do. You deserve a Dad who does not lie to you, and one who can admit his mistakes, and one who is here for you, and I wasn't. You deserve to have a Dad and I took that option from you. I'm sorry."

Harry nods slowly, unsure what to say or how to feel or react or anything. For some reason though, it's his baby sister that comes to mind, and the fact that she's been hidden away with house elves and no people for far too long. "In the spirit of not lying to me, can I ask you a question?"

Sirius looks mildly surprised, having been expecting a worse reaction, but nods instantly, "Of course."

"I know my Father is all mixed up in Voldemort and Roana Gaunt, and believe me I saw what he's like when I was there. But is there a way to save him?"

Sirius sighs slightly, "I don't know, Harry. But…" Sirius hesitates for a moment before he continues, "Your father was a very close friend of mine for many years. And I have to wonder what it would do to him if we did save him."

"What do you mean?" Harry asks in confusion.

"He's done some really bad things, Harry. And if we save him he'll look at his actions through the lens of actually caring, and having morals, and loyalty, and love."

Harry's eyes widen as he realises what Sirius is suggesting. Tears fill his eyes marginally. "Before the spell, before it happened, when I was still me, he asked me to join him, while he had us captured."

"No, he didn't. Voldemort did."

Harry nods. "I wouldn't have helped Jamie hide you when you escaped if I didn't want you around, Sirius." Sirius looks a little shocked at the sudden change in topic but nods, a small smile forming on his face. Harry clears his throat, "Besides," He says, "You might not have saved me back then, but you just did, and I'm pretty sure that evens the scales." And really, Harry genuinely believes that. He thinks that maybe, if he had the chance to try, if things weren't such a mess, maybe he could find a way to let it all go and just have a Dad. But things aren't like that, and Harry has a job to do. "You should probably tell the others that I'm okay."

Sirius hesitates, "Harry, you can't just stay here alone."

"I'll be fine on my own for the three days before School comes back," Harry assures him, then he frowns, thinking of Delphini again and making another decision about her. "But…I mean you don't have to stay at Headquarters to help the Order, do you?" Sirius shakes his head because if it means being with his Son, he'll make it work. "It's just…I mean it was fine before, it'd be fine again, but maybe she'd be better off…" Harry frowns in thought before he nods. "There's something I haven't told you, recent events have certainly shown me I made the right decision to hide it. She was safer, you see, not being associated with me. I didn't want her to be hurt because someone was trying to get to me, it's happened before and after watching Cedric-" Harry cuts himself off.

"He was the boy that Peter killed?" Sirius asks, Harry nods. "He was more than just a friend, wasn't he?" Harry nods again. "So who is it you're trying to protect now?" He questions, taking hold of Harry's hand to give comfort.

Harry hesitates a moment longer before he nods, getting up, "It's easier to show you."

He leads Sirius up the stairs to the nursery where Delphini is taking a nap. Sirius' eyes widen at the bassinet. He looks back at Harry in shock. Harry shifts on his feet for a moment. "Harry, whose child is this?"

"Mine," Harry answers, "Her name's Delphini but, I've been calling her Delphi for short."

"After your mother?" Sirius asks in shock, Harry nods, seeing as Tom almost definitely had Del in mind when he named her. "Who's her mother?"

Harry shakes his head, "Not in the picture."

Sirius moves closer to the child, gently touching her cheek. "Holy crap, I'm a grandfather."

"The house-elves were going to look after her when I go back to school like they have been so far. I've come back when I can but, there weren't a lot of choices when no one knew she existed."

Sirius nods, "Harry, you're right. Until this war is over, she should remain hidden."

"I know," Harry says in agreement, "But I thought maybe you could keep her company sometimes while I'm gone."

Sirius looks up at him, smiling as he nods. "Harry, I know it never happened for you like it was supposed to, but when this war is over I am going to make damned sure that this kid doesn't have to hide. It'll be safe for her to be with her family. You'll both be safe."

Harry gives a breathy laugh, nodding, "So long as she's safe, nothing else matters."

Sirius smiles proudly as he pulls his son in for another hug, "I know the feeling." He frowns in thought as he pulls away from Harry again. "Also, do we need to talk about birth control?"

"No, no, no, no, no," Harry replies quickly, "Nope, made that mistake once, made damned sure I knew everything I needed to to make sure it didn't happen again," He explains with a grimace. Then his eyes widen slightly, he looks to Delphini, "No offence," He says quietly.

Sirius snickers.


When he finally makes it back to the Fortress there are many frantically pacing or otherwise fidgeting people waiting. Del rushes over when she sees him.

"Where the hell have you been?" She asks, "You took forever. Where's Harry? Did it not work?" She asks frantically as she notices he came back alone.

Sirius leads her over to the table where many are sitting and waiting to hear. "Harry's fine. It worked," He assures them, the relief in the room is palpable. "I took a long time because he, understandably, was a little worked up when he realised what had happened." Instantly, everyone is concerned again. "He's not coming back."

"What?!" Everyone asks/screeches.

"He's not coming back," Sirius repeats. "He's scared, he's sick of being used and hurt. He's a kid, he wants to be safe," He explains, "So he's decided to stay away and not be involved." He sighs, "I have news on Lillie, though," He tells the Polkas when he sees them there. They both sit up straighter, looking desperate for information. "She's with Greyback."

"We have to get her back," Remus states strongly.

"Thought you weren't re-joining the Order?" Mundungus comments more than questions.

"This isn't about the fucking Order. I'm not leaving a teenager at the mercy of Fenrir Greyback!" He shoots back angrily.

"We still need to get my sister," Astoria reminds them.

Moody nods, "We've got an assault plan, and the timing just moved up. Tomorrow. We rescue them tomorrow. But I am going to need something from you," Moody tells Remus. Remus nods though his brows crease in concern. "I'm gonna need a few of those invisibility cloaks."


Harry picks up Delphini from her basinet as she wakes up. "Hey, Delphi." Harry frowns, then he smiles at her, "Got some news. I'm your Dad now. I know, it's weird and sudden. But I promised to look after you, and I know from experience what it's like to know your parents when they're parents like that. This is best way I know how to protect you. Don't worry," He tells her, "I'm going to do everything I can to be a good Father. Every-bloody-thing I can." He nods to her, "I promise."


Note:

Look, I had to do something with her so, after many long internal debates about Delphini and what should happen to her or even if she should be in the story, I realised Harry wasn't going to let her childhood be the mess his was and the only way to ensure she was looked after was to do it himself.