Chapter 36: Goodbyes

Lily landed her broomstick onto the Belby property. Her green eyes looked at the place critically and then she shivered. "It reeks of Dark Arts."

Petunia tried not to laugh. God, Lily's ability to state the obvious and just not care definitely needed to be admired. Lily wore her working clothes stained from the building sites she was working on. The Ross' were doing home renovations in hopes to sell the property and Lily had been roped into the building crew.

"Are you ready to load it?" It referred to the trunk that Lily had strapped to the bottom of her broom which she threw open and the different divisions popped out. The trunk itself had been one of those expensive purchases that had now paid for itself many times over.

"Are we still not living at home?" Petunia asked. She would take Lily's lead on this. Their father had been difficult to handle since he had lost his job.

"Yep, his behind on the bills even though he has most of our paychecks. I don't get it. It's like when Tobias had given up on all of this but worse."

Petunia gave her sister a hysterical look. How could their father's behaviour have been worse than Tobias? Tobias had taken over at least teaching shop classes. Their father, on the other hand, for all his white-collar experience had very few practical skills.

"He's thinking of leaving mom to find work. Says that between me and you the household should be fine." This was the kind of conversation that letters hindered, sometimes to the detriment of any tangible solutions.

Lily didn't seem happy when she explained her reasoning. Not that it made any sense for their father to be doing what he was doing. Men took a lot of pride in being men and not that there was anything wrong with that, but this had crossed the bridge into a lack of responsibility.

"I need to get going though, I left potions and they won't do well in stasis for more than a few hours." There wasn't going to be any more talk about it just yet because Petunia was coming home and that meant it would be her shared responsibility to fix what went wrong or at least to find some kind of solution.

Lily looked up at the sky and the day grew gloomy with an eerie fog. "Really, Lils, weather magic."

Her sister looked way too pleased with herself. "Just open your window, it should break the ward just enough to allow me to get your things."

Petunia rolled her eyes and she had to agree. She had packed away all her personal potions equipment into her motorcycle sidecar. But Lily's plan was faster and took less effort. She ran up the stairs and barely greeted Severus before opening the huge window. "Ready!" Petunia yelled.

Lily nodded and mumbled a set of spells with intricate movements. It was nothing special. Just an incredibly well-combined set of household spells. Clothes folded themselves into piles by type, then came books, lastly make-up and other personal items. The room then started cleaning itself Sorcerer's Apprentice-style. Weirdly enough magical cleaning always took her breath away. Not that Lily believed or used it much because their mother didn't really believe in them. But it was useful, especially in times like this and usefulness always trumped personal feelings of any sort.

Minutes later, Lily appeared by the open window. She had mounted her broom and wore goggles to protect her eyes from the sun. "I'll see you in a few hours. Also, bring some ink on your way home, I have something I want to try."

Petunia nodded. They needed to talk, have an actual conversation about how they would move forward with their parents. Lily also had questions, lots of them and answers rarely fell from the heavens. Not for sinners like them.

The day seemed to brighten as Lily took to the air. She was probably rushing back to make sure she was on time for some potion or the other. Lily had a terrible habit of doing a million other things when working on potions that were time-sensitive and somehow made it work.

"Was Lily outside?" Severus asked. Petunia felt her heartache for him. He needed to let Lily go. She would never love him like that. Not after what he did and why Severus couldn't see that was beyond Petunia's understanding.

She tapped her bed and sat down on the floor looking up at him. "What's so great about Lily that you think she is coming back like you?"

Severus gave her such a dejected look. "Use your words Sev, I can't read minds."

"In the beginning when Ma and Da just didn't get along and then Lily was there and suddenly, she wasn't."

Petunia had to keep her face blank. "But you did that. I know it's been hard but not all of it is on Lily's reaction." There was a line to balance when talking to a Snape about anything. "You chose them over her and she had to let you go because she could no longer stomach that."

"So that's it. You're defending her throwing away years of friendship." Severus brushed his hands along her stripped bed. This room, barren, held nothing that suggested Petunia had spent months in it.

"Sometimes that isn't enough. Nostalgia isn't enough to keep anything going. People grow and change and all I can do is hope that it's for the better."

Petunia stood up and gave Severus an awkward hug. "I know that this is hard on you. But know that we Evans do look after our own and you're definitely always welcome back even if Mr Snape says otherwise."

She left him there to sit and think. Petunia wanted Severus to get over Lily. It was not worth him being tied over someone who would never see him that way again. Lily had loved Severus and he just hadn't seen it.

Lily loved his crooked nose and potion stained hands. She loved his deep brown eyes and skin that tanned in the sun. Her life had revolved around his too until he no longer wanted it. There wasn't much out there for girls who cried over boys who destroyed them.

Petunia walked slowly around the cottage, doing one last round of checks before going to the kitchen to fetch her helmet. Damocles was waiting for her having a very rare evening tea. This was it; he would remove her from the wards of the house and she would never be able to see or visit the Belby Cottage again.

She took off the apprentice ring he had given her. A once formal element of their relationship and it was time to give it back. There was no place for nostalgia, regardless of how deeply both of them adored it. Petunia wished there were pretty magical words for her to say. Words that would formally separate them from each other would've been useful, but there wasn't. The one time she needed the words written out for her, there weren't any for her to rely on.

Magic was made up of tiny rituals and Petunia would no longer be a part of this set of rituals. The ones that she was taught and made a big part of her life. Instead, those arms opened up and while neither of them had ever thought that they would hug each other. Right now, they did and let the warmness of their bodies mingle.

The funny thing was that Damocles never wanted her love the way most people did. He just wanted her attention. He wanted her to be present at the moment where they sat across from each other. Petunia wanted him to feel the regret that she always did. She had thrown her life into potions and it hadn't paid off. Petunia knew that she shouldn't complain about what happened, but she had been so angry the day she lost Eileen.

"Where did everyone go?" Petunia asked. Belby Cottage was never really quiet, there was always people doing something, mostly planning.

Damocles threw his arms in the air. "I don't know."

Petunia didn't think too heavily on his words. She just dropped the ring on the table. The band was a single solid piece of gold with inscriptions of the Belby house words and had sat opposite her Snape ring, which was in smooth stone.

"Why do you still wear that?"

It had been months of working with Damocles and only recently had he come to talk to her as someone curious about her life.

"I don't really know, I got it when I was thirteen and never let it go. Would you though? Can I even let go of her, it hasn't even been a year and I still expect her to be around when I get home," Petunia said? "I miss her, I wish I didn't but I do and I don't really know how to do life in Cokesworth without her."

"You'll be fine. Like you always tell me. Now go so I can take you off the wards." Damocles said with a smile. "Also don't consider marrying Vernon he's going to clip your wings and pull all your feathers out."

Petunia rolled her eyes at that. There were very few things anyone ever had complete control over and in her experience falling in love was not one of them. To fall was never a choice but to stay there was and Petunia knew that she would fight to stay when it came to people she once loved.

Petunia opened up her palms as Damocles waved his wand around her hand. She winced at the feelings of emptiness and it was as if everything that had touched her memories of Belby Cottage had a little less colour. When she left the grounds, she would no longer form a part of the household and for all practical purposes will never be invited back in. Expulsion from the wards was tinted with shame (or at least in the Pureblood mindset).

The feelings were not tainted as she went away. She still felt the cold emptiness where they had housed the dementor. The late nights and early morning runs. They came gushing in the further she drove away from the village.

She stopped at the studio and grabbed a couple of bottles of ink. There was probably some rune or the other that Lily wanted to work on and Lily had been into inking those workings on skin. Petunia's drives to Cokesworth always took longer than she enjoyed.

Lily had sent rain along the way, and she could always tell when it was Lily's magic that played in the air. To Petunia, Lily's magic was the kind of childhood both of them had deserved. Optimistic and childish. Two things that Lily (and to a certain extent, Petunia) faked well.

They did the put-together, reserved and happy thing until their family broke into a million little pieces in front of them. Maybe that's why Petunia dreaded going back. She would be at the centre of the mess again, now that Lily had a week before she left to Hogwarts's. If she knew Lily as well as she thought she did, Lily would be preparing to walk out of her parent's life. Petunia knew that she should be preparing for the eventuality of doing the same.


A/N: We have one more chapter left. I'm uploading it tomorrow at around the same time.