Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, all rights to the owners.


THE AMAZING MUMBO

"Ah, so this the Colossus' Cave! The Giant's Grotto! The Titan's… uh… Tunnel!" I cry. "Yes, I have arrived! The Amazing Mumbo is here to play, and brighten your day! Oh hey, that's a rhyme I say!"

"Hello Mumbo." Robyn says without looking up from her work. No one else does more than temporarily raise their head to look at me. Tough crowd huh? "I'm surprised they let you out so early. I thought there was more paperwork they had to get through."

"There was, and then there wasn't!" I say cheerfully. "Some lady sped up the process! Kicked the bureaucrats into speeding up the process because every day I wasn't with you was another day something could go terribly wrong that a magic user could have solved! She also might have blackmailed them, not so clear on that part."

"Was her name, by any chance, Brianna?" Robyn asks. The way she's asking it makes it seem like a rhetoric question.

"Yes!"

"Of course it was her." Robyn sighs. "Well, welcome aboard I suppose. If I'd known you were coming I would have spent more time figuring out exactly what you're going to do during the day."

"Come on now, surely I can manage whatever the little one was doing before!" I say.

"If you can cook and don't mind cleaning this place, go ahead." Robyn says dryly. "Because that's more or less all Crow did, though he made entire feasts on a daily basis and cleaned an entire fifteen floor tower, so merely cleaning this garage is a horrible waste considering all the effort it took to get you out from prison."

"Then what did ol' Changeling do?"

"Not much." Robyn says bluntly. "Manual labour. I hope to get much more use out of you than that."

"Aye aye Captain!" I say, and salute. "Private Mumbo reporting for duty!"

"Well, since you're here…" Robin murmurs. "Starfire!"

"Robyn."

"Run Mumbo through our training routine to see where she lies. I'll figure out what else she can do in the meantime."

"Of course Robin." The alien boy says. He sounds and looks professional. He leads me outside and over to the island. The fallen tower still lies mostly in the ocean but with the bottom end still on the island itself. There is also a crater where the bottom of the tower used to be lodged in the dirt. It's at least half a dozen meters deep, probably more. "Do pardon the unprofessional set up. We have a proper training area inside the tower, but we have not had time to set such a thing up as of now."

"You mean you can't magically conjure an entire base out of thin air? I'm shocked, aghast! Positively horrified! It's almost like you're… you're… normal!" I say with an appropriately fearful voice.

"Indeed." Starfire says in a flat tone. Does no one here have a sense of humor? Come on, give me something to work with! "We shall begin with some physical tests. Even a mage must have a certain level of physical fitness."

"Right then!" I say. I might not be a bodybuilder, but with all the running and jumping around I do I'd like to think I'm decently fit.

That doesn't mean I'm not tried by the time Starfire is satisfied with the tests. He demands everything from push ups to sprinting laps around the island. If the Titans had exercise machines I'd imagine I'd be made to use them as well.

"So…" I pant when I'm done running. I pull out my wand and tap myself, eliminating all the sweat on my body. I can't tell you how convenient that little spell is. "How am I? Does The Amazing Mumbo live up to her title?"

"Amazing would be an overstatement." Starfire replies bluntly. "However, you are sufficiently competent. In truth, I was expecting less from you on account of you being a mage, and you have overshot those expectations. Well done."

I smooth my suit with a proud smile. "But of course! I do more than merely dress than impress! If performance is what you want, performance I can deliver!"

"Then perform." Starfire says, and crosses his arms. "I wish to see what you can do with magic. Offensive spells, utility, defensive, all of them. We must have an accurate assessment of your skills."

"As you wish! Sit back, relax, grab yourself a… what do you drink?"

"Mustard."

Aliens are weird, but so am I! "Grab yourself some mustard! The Amazing Mumbo is taking the stage!"

I flick my wand in his direction and materialize a large, padded chair on the ground, gently nudge him into it, and materialize a bottle of mustard.

I bow and sweep off my hat. "Now… let me give you a show!"

MARIA

It's not the first time I've visited Pizza Place in the last few days. I may have threatened the owner to get a safe place to put Ruban after he took down Ternion, but for some reason I'm still welcome here. The manager himself even came out to chat with me once, and he waved off the fact that I threatened him much the same as he did before.

I'm not sure if the owner giving me a discount everytime I eat here is some sort of mockery, but it feels like mockery. It feels like pity, though he couldn't have known Ruban is temporarily in a coma.

I'm sitting in a corner seat on the lower level of the restaurant; all on my own with my back turned to the rest of the room. The less I face the room, the less people seem to bother me. I don't particularly care for grateful citizens at the moment. Gratitude doesn't wake Ruban up, and it doesn't make me feel any less angry.

I've been ignoring everyone who walks in and out of the restaurant so far for obvious reasons, but the most recent person to enter catches my attention. I can hear something off about them. Their footsteps are different from a normal person's. They don't have the click of heels, the thud of boots, the squeak of sneakers, or the sharp tap of dress shoes. Their feet slap on the floor, but not like flip-flops or bare feet. It's a wet sort of slap, like dropping a water-logged cloth onto the floor. That's what gets me to turn my head and look.

I think her name was Ava, and I remember that she was one of Chang's experiments. It's the slime lady, the ooze, whatever the heck you want to call her. I think there's been some minor changes in her appearance since I last saw her. Maybe actually having a mirror to look into allowed her to revise her look.

For one, her feet no longer puddle on the floor. Her whole form has… tightened up I suppose would be the term. It doesn't sag or droop anywhere like it did before. You can't tell she's basically made of liquid just by looking at her anymore. Her color has also changed a bit. She used to be flat grey all over her body, and now she's mostly near black with grey to highlight areas like her eyes.

You know, it just occurred to me that her "eyes" are artificial too. I remember she said her whole body was constructed, she has to learn how to make herself look human again because her default form is just a blob on the floor. That means her eyes are just as constructed as the rest of her, and that's an unsettling thought.

Ava draws the eyes of just about everyone, and for various reasons. Metahumans and aliens are not unusual in Jump City, in fact Jump has a high concentration of the former per every normal human (the ratio is about 1 meta huma for every 1,500 normal people in Jump, which is five hundred someodd metahumans with Jump's total population being around 800,000. Gotham, having a population of just over two million, is estimated to only have six hundred metahumans giving it a ratio of 1 for 3,333) but they still draw some attention.

Some are interested in Ava because she's a meta human, some people stare because she's hot (because if you can shape your body of course you'd make yourself hot), and some are staring because she doesn't have clothes. She doesn't need them because she has the physique of a mannequin and she could just make the appearance of clothes on her body if she wanted, but still.

I have to wonder why she's here though. She's a sentient pile of occasionally acidic jello. Does she even need to eat and drink?

Ava walks straight up the counter and leans on it, much to the surprise of the register-boy. Ava doesn't order a pizza or a drink or anything, and instead says: "Yo, is Evan here? The owner?"

"I- uh- yes." The register boy squeaks. I think he's a bit intimidated at the moment. Maybe it's the hair. Ava's massive head of "hair" (really just another constructed part of her body) is so large it frames her entire body, and adds a bit more height to her otherwise fairly normal size.

Or maybe it's just because she's hot and he's a teenager. Who knows. Sorry buddy, she's thirty despite appearances.

"I-I'll go get him." The boy stutters, and scurries off into the back of the restaurant.

I'm annoyed that the register-boy reminds me of Ruban in a way. Ruban used to be a stuttering mess just like him, though it was less because I was hot and more because I was female… and hot. Ruban had- well, still has some insecurities about dealing with women, but I'd like to think his nervousness around me recently is less about that and more because he hasn't come to terms with the fact that he's allowed to be attracted to someone.

Not that I'll be able to help with that for a while now that he's in a coma. A coma that's partially my fault. The universe must be mocking me by intentionally reminding me of my Ruban.

I debate if I even want to pay attention to Ava. It's not like what she's doing is any of my business, but honestly I could use a distraction. Maybe if she's not going to sit down with someone else I could call her over. I don't really want to talk with any of the other Titans, so Ava might be a good choice for conversation.

Eventually the owner, who is the guy I threatened and apparently called Evan, comes to the front. He's completely unperturbed at seeing Ava.

"Hello there, you asked for me?" He says. "What is it you need?"

"Aww, I'm hurt, really." Ava laughs. "The voice ain't enough? Do I jus' look too different hun?"

Evan eyes Ava impassively, then says something completely random. "Did you get tickets to the game?"

"Area nine, row F, chairs ten and eleven." Ava says without hesitation. Was that some sort of code? They have a code. Why do they have codewords?

"Well." Evan says quietly. "That's… not something I expected to hear again. I'm also thinking the goal for your medical savings just went up considerably considering your new situation."

"You actually kept those? C'mon hun, I was gone for years, you probably thought I was dead! You shoulda just used it!"

"It wasn't mine to use." Evan says. "Ava dear, in case you've forgotten, this is your money as well."

What. These two know each other. Not only do they know each other, but they have shared finances? Are they married? Evan has a ring on his finger that I never noticed. They're fucking married. Of course they are.

"'sides, not so sure my new condition needs curin'." Ava says. "Don't gotta worry 'bout my skin saggin' off now. Bein' sentient slime is weird, but it's prob'ly an improvement over my old condition."

Her skin used to sag off? That's horrific. I guess when that's the alternative then being sentient jello doesn't seem too bad.

"If you say so dear." Evan says. He turns to the register boy. "If anyone asks, I'm taking the day off. Tell Teresa she's in charge."

"Y-Yes sir!"

Evan is outwardly calm, but an observant eye can spot how his steps are slightly rushed, and his hands are twitchy. He's a lot more excited than he's letting on. I mean, can you blame him? As far as he's concerned his wife basically just came back from the dead.

As soon as the two are gone, I get up and leave as well. I didn't come here to be reminded that everyone else is getting their fucking happy reunion and I don't have Ruban.


Fun chapter. Mostly focusing on auxiliary characters at the moment, along with a bit of setup.


firemaster101: "The guy"? He's not that insignificant of a character! His name is literally at the top of the chapter!

Just poking fun, glad you liked the chapter.

Trase: Kima and Nathan are so much fun. Could legitimately make an entire story about just them. You'll probably get that chapter from Kima's perspective at some point. I love those two too much not to keep using them.

Origami Stars: They are great! I'm so glad I actually decided to include them in the story.

I had the idea about Kima's culture for a long time but was on the fence about actually using it. Time will tell if it's a good idea or not.

Azarath Cat: Sorry to disappoint, but one-fifty isn't anything special. We'll have another intermission at chapter two-hundred, but that's still a ways off. I'm dealing with the times just fine. My daily routine really hasn't changed since quarantine started because I'm a total shut-in.