Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, all rights to the owners.

Weird chapter here. I'm in an awkward place as to what I should write. I need to transition into the next sub-arc, but there's really no easy way to do that, and I haven't exactly decided how I'm going to manage the source-material it's based on.

Also, I can't use Ruban, which makes things difficult in general because of how heavily I rely on him.


KID FLASH

You know, when I agreed to join the Titans temporarily, I thought we'd be beating up bad guys, rescuing old ladies, and getting adored by fans! Not… helping repair a police building.

"The JCPD are just as important to the city as we are." Robyn scolds when I bring this up. "We're not celebrities, we're heroes. There's a difference."

"I do believe you are using the term celebrity incorrectly." Starfire whispers. "Hero and celebrity are not mutually exclusive."

"She knows what I mean." Robyn huffs.

"You are not even using correct terminology."

"I don't know the correct terminology okay?"

"May I suggest a dictionary?"

"Star…" Robyn gives the man a flat look. "Not now."

So anyways, we're repairing the JCPD building, and it's boring! I mean, I like doing a good turn as much as the next person, but I'm a girl of action! Running around transporting boxes and delivering messages isn't exactly satisfying.

"There's no rush now, single-file line!" Mumbo shouts cheerfully as she waves like a crossing guard as an army of human-sized gloves march across the building holding a large box each. "I know you all want to lend a hand, but please, don't give you handlers trouble!"

At least someone is enjoying themselves.

"I don't want any slight of hand now!" Mumbo continues. "None of you better get handsy!"

Oh God, she's had years to develop hand puns. Save yourself. Actually. "Hey Mumbo! Sorry to be heavy handed, but it's all hands on deck! That means you too!"

"By God you're right!" Mambo cries. "I can't hand off responsibility like this! I need to get my hands dirty!"

Maybe working with the Titans won't be so bad.

###

Why are all the hot people taken? Changeling is taken by Crow (or more like she's taken him rather than the other way around from what I hear), and Starfire and Robyn maybe sorta have a thing going. Maybe? It's not clear, but I'm not going to butt-in on Robyn's… thing.

I'm not jealous exactly. Wistful perhaps, but not jealous. I want a boyfriend or girlfriend that looks like a supermodel, sue me.

Okay, when I put it like that, it does sound unreasonable. A girl can dream though, don't judge me!

The Titans pay a visit to some people called Nathan and Kima after helping the JCPD, and I'm immensely disappointed to learn the hot pink girl is also taken. Well, not technically taken, but it's pretty obvious that she will be.

The universe is giving me a giant middle finger isn't it? Look at all these hot people you can't have!

The pink girl (Kima, I'm told) doesn't seem to like Mumbo very much, and Mumbo is sheepish around her. These two have history I guess. I'm surprised to learn that Kima is much stronger than she looks. With that light dress and her soft facial features I was guessing she'd be delicate, but no. One of her sleeves gets pushed up and I can see that she has some serious muscle on her.

The tentacles are a bit weird though. The guy, Nathan, seems completely unbothered by the way they protectively coil around him, but I know I'd be a bit less comfortable. Tentacles are just… ugh. Does it feel like squid tentacles? I don't see suckers. Are they moist? They don't look moist.

There's just something creepy about tentacles, even if they're attached to such an adorable face.

"We're doing fine." Nathan says. He looks tired. "A police officer dropped by this morning to speak with Kima about Chang's lab."

"Good." Robyn says. "Have you two gone outside?"

"No." Nathan says. "The public doesn't seem to like meta-humans at the moment."

"I noticed that as well." Robyn nods. "I'm glad you're staying safe. That's not what I came here to ask about though."

"Oh?"

"I want to hire you. Both of you." Robyn says. "You need income and work experience you'd actually want to put on your resume, considering what you've said about how you left your past jobs."

"True…" Nathan acknowledges after a moment.

"And it will give you something productive to do as you search for a new place to live." Robyn continues. "And rather than feeling forced to stay in this place all day, you can get outside with our protection."

"That makes sense." Nathan nods. "What jobs are we talking about?"

"Well, the Tower is kind of wrecked, and we're going to be constructing a new base." Robyn says. "So for Kima it would be physical labour."

"And me?"

"We're at a point in time where the Titans really can't afford to act as an island." Robyn says. "I'm saying we need public relations, and I want to hire you to handle that. You're someone we can trust, and you have experience with writing already."

"Strictly speaking I majored in English, not writing."

Robyn rolls her eyes. "That still means you know how stories work. You're qualified enough. It would be a lot on your part. Monitoring news outlets, keeping track of common or relevant complaints and important people who complain, perhaps helping with speeches or any sort of press release we might have to give, stuff like that."

"I could do that." Nathan agrees. He glances to his companion. "Kima?"

"Can work." The girl agrees. Her voice is oddly stiff, and her face unexpressive. Her tentacles, on the other hand, twist and wiggle in the air. "I good at work. Can build."

"You might have to learn some new tools." Robyn warns.

"Stay on Earth to learn. Exactly what hope for." Kima says.

"Good." Robyn smiles. "We're going to start getting some materials in a few days. I'll contact you the day before, and Cyborg will pick you up the day of. Alright?"

"Alright." Nathan agrees.

"Not talk pay?" Kima asks with an exaggerated frown on her face. "Is important."

"Twenty five dollars per hour for you." Robyn says to her. "And for Nathan, thirty five."

Kima's tentacles twist, then still, and her face goes from a frown to exaggerated curiosity. "Why higher for him?"

"Construction doesn't require many, if any, qualifications or unique skills beyond physical fitness." Nathan explains gently. "Public relations work requires an ability to read carefully, compile information, and in this case because I might be helping with speeches and what not, an ability to write to fit specific tones and understand narratives and all that. It's a bit more specialized than construction, and requires more education."

"Ah." Kima nods. "Understand. Was thinking woodworking, not construction. More skill required. Wrong job in mind."

"Woodworking?" Nathan asks. "Like… carving?"

"Yes. Also furniture, construction, tool handles, many things. Was thinking more than building. Mistake."

The pink girl is a woodworker? Really? That's just about the last thing I expected.

"So that's fine pay?" Robyn asks.

"Works for me." Nathan says.

"Me too." Kima says. "I thank."

With that out of the way, we say goodbye and leave. Robyn, Cyborg, and Starfire have a quiet conversation in the car about plans for the new base and setting some sort of website or social media account, just to be able to communicate with the public in some fashion without having to make personal appearances or dealing with reporters who will inevitably twist their words to suit their own needs.

Who knew being a hero was so… mundane though? Repairs, building, business. This is what being a hero is? Boooring!

###

And our next stop is even less exciting than the last! The Wayne building! Robyn seems irritated that she has to come here for some reason, even though she's the one who insisted we come here.

We're here to check on all the people that were rescued from Chang's lab a few days ago. It's mostly Starfire that the team is relying on here, because out of the five of us he's the only one who was in Chang's lab. Crow and Changeling were there too, but they're not with us right now.

The person who runs the building is apparently named Fan (I'm quickly told it's pronounced fahn, not fan) and she sends someone to escort us down into the bunker.

Because apparently this building has a bunker. Of course it does. Why wouldn't it? Every good building needs a bunker.

We also learn from the person sent to escort us that a few of the people have left already. Kima has left obviously, someone called Ava has left (apparently she's an ooze… which really doesn't clear anything up. What's an ooze?), and a few other people as well. Most of the people who stayed are people who were in the laboratory for a long time and/or don't have family to go back to. There are a lot of poor people in the bunker, and as we go around talking we people we get a lot of stories about returning late from some shitty job and getting grabbed by Chang's thugs, or finding a job listing for meta-humans specifically that actually paid well only to find out too late that it was a trap. It seems like Chang had several avenues for getting new meta-humans for her operation.

Some of the people here aren't even meta-humans at all though. There are aliens as well. There's a Thanagarian in the corner who can't understand us (until Starfire absorbs their language by kissing him, which is how that works for some reason), a Volkregian who does know how to speak very broken English (Robyn is very surprised they're so far away from their home planet, because Volkregians aren't exactly a space-fairing society beyond their one known red lantern), and several other aliens who arrived on the planet either willingly or through an abduction and subsequent escape (an oddly common story, but apparently Earth is a known "safe" planet for escapees, so it's not uncommon for escapes to be specifically timed or orchestrated so they can get to Earth).

Many of the aliens balk at seeing Starfire at first, and Cyborg quietly informs me that Tamaraniens are considered barbarians and marauders by many other species. A reputation they've been hard-pressed to shake.

According to the person escorting us, the JCPD have already been by to collect witness statements and establish contact, and Fan has graciously offered to let all these unfortunate souls stay in the bunker for as long as they need until they can get settled or the JCPD figure out what to do with them.

We don't get any useful information or anything out of this visit, it's purely to make the victims feel cared-for. I feel very out-of-place because I had little to do with this, and Mumbo is similarly quiet and lacking her usual energy.

I wonder if Mumbo was responsible for the abductions of a few of these people. How much did she work with Chang in the past?

Professional hero work kinda sucks. We haven't fought anyone today, we're not mobbed by adoring fans, and instead we've done manual labour, and talked to people.

I'm willing to put up with it because this is for a good cause and all, but once Crow and Changeling are back I'm going to be happy to finish this I think. It's not for me.


Tame chapter for establishing Kid Flash.


TREBOR.E: :D

Origami Stars: Mumbo is so much fun. She's the most (and maybe only) unabashedly silly character in the story. Spellcheck keeps trying to correct her name to Mambo for some reason.

Serious General Starfire looks over his troops, looking for any signs of inefficiency. He nods to himself, and takes a serious sip of his extremely serious mustard. It is a bit ridiculous, and I love it.

I have no idea how much Ava and Evan are going to be used. The story really doesn't need them, but I like them.

Azarath Cat: We've already talked, so… uh… thanks for reading!

legendaryNOT: Welcome to the story. Take a seat, grab your mustard. Glad to have you on board.