What?

Cold air brushed her ankles, as the door stood ajar. She was a little wary to answer a knock so late into the night—though, it wasn't an ungodly hour or anything; she had been awake—but she checked through the window and saw him standing there. His shoulder's weren't hunched; his back was straight. He blended quite well into the darkness around him, but she could see the silhouette of his hair being lifted by a subtle breeze. She was going to leave in the morning. It was just like him to show up at the last moment. But it didn't matter, anyway. She was still leaving in the morning.

She didn't say anything after opening the door. Severus stared back at her with an almost prepared expression. His eyes were a calm obsidian and they held no animosity in them this time.

Lucinda dropped her arm from the handle and asked stiffly, "Have you been drinking?"

The man's gaze lowered momentarily and then he regained her regard. "No," he said softly with a shake of his head. He was freshly showered and shaved. She could smell the soap on him.

The darkness changes things somehow; she'd always felt that way. The night shimmered with magic much more than the day. Things could be said in the dark and it didn't matter what words were spoken until the sun rose again.

Perhaps that's why his guard was down and his confidence was simultaneously climbing.

Lucinda stepped to the side at his answer, allowing him entry.

Severus hesitated and looked down at her. "Perhaps we could take a walk..."

"No," she replied instantly and the man's face fell a fraction. "I... I'm sorry, I can't. I can't be seen with you."

The muscle in his cheek flexed, as he clenched his teeth and looked away from her, down the street. "What does that matter?" He asked, barely audible.

"It matters to you, apparently," Lucinda challenged with an icy edge, though she wasn't sure why. It did matter if someone saw them together. "I'm sure it's no accident that you came here after curfew?"

Severus still stared down the road. He narrowed his eyes, as if looking at something interesting or thinking very hard about something. Then he blew a quick sigh from his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. He shook his head, as if to dismiss some thought and muttered, "I shouldn't have come."

"Then why did you?"

"How could I not?" He quipped instantly and locked eyes on her. Lucinda's stomach flipped. "I needed to... atone for my behavior."

"You don't need someone to atone to," Lucinda stated slowly. "It's something you do on your own... Now, if you wanted to apologize—"

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. He really sounded like he meant it, too, though it almost seemed a reflex.

Lucinda instantly felt sick to her stomach. She sighed and then brought her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose in distress. "No," she groused. "No, don't. Don't do that. I-I don't know why I'm fishing for apologies. Honestly, I'm such a hypocrite. Why am I such an idiot?" She mumbled the last part to herself.

"May we speak?" Severus glanced behind her at the dark room. "Is that acceptable? Or am I... interrupting you?"

He seemed to swallow uncomfortably. His brows were drawn together and Lucinda knew what he meant.

"Jasper and I are not together," she stated clearly and the man just looked back at her with apprehension. "Would you like to come in?" She held an arm out, beckoning.

He didn't make any move to accept. He still stood, hesitant and staring cautiously at her. "So..." he wetted his lips with a flick of his tongue and asked carefully, "Why did you... seem to..."

"I—I wasn't trying to make it seem like that—Jasper is at fault, here, alright? He did it on purpose. He told me he wanted to get a reaction out of you."

"And you went along with it?" He responded expressionless.

"N- no!" Lucinda stammered, flustered. "Of-of course not. I was just surprised to see you!"

The man's face had gradually fallen a bit more. He looked just to the left of her, face full of thought. "Yet, you're denying it so extensively..." he said quietly and then fixed her with another cautious gaze. "And did you not sleep in his bed?"

The young woman sighed. "That wasn't..." She didn't know how to make it sound right. "That was... purely platonic." She gave him a slightly pleading look. "He was so ill and I wasn't used to sleeping in the spare bed and... I was... I was just frightened."

"Frightened of what?" He asked softly.

Lucinda rubbed her arms, as she shivered. Her eyes wandered to a spot in the air. "Frightened of being alone..." she whispered.

Severus watched her tremble and with a quiet sigh, he stepped over the threshold, shutting the door behind him. Lucinda stepped out of his way, but he didn't walk further into the room. He simply stood next to her, watching her face carefully. "Are you cold?" He asked.

Lucinda glanced away from him and nodded, "yes".

A moment later, his hand slowly closed around her upper arm. She looked up at him questioningly, as he pulled her tentatively toward him. Lucinda swallowed and resisted for a millisecond. It was long enough to give the man pause, but short enough that he continued to gently tug at her arm immediately after. Lucinda let him pull her to his chest and enclose his arms around her. Her own arms slid around his back and returned the embrace. She instantly sank into him, burying her face in the front of his robes. And that was all the reciprocation he needed to gather her firmly to him and squeeze her so tightly it hurt. He lay his cheek against the top of her head and felt the silky strands of her hair graze his lips. He brought a hand up and ran them through those strands. Lucinda tilted her head back and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," she breathed and her eyes flickered quickly over his face. "I-I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry—"

"It doesn't matter," he spoke softly and his eyes were full of warmth. "You're here right now and nothing else matters."

The guilt. The betrayal in her heart. It was consuming her. She had to get it out in the open before he said or did something he would regret.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Her voice was almost accusing. Her brows were drawn together in a deep crease, as she watched his reaction.

The hand in her hair gently pulled out and went to the side of her face. He held her chin in the crook of his thumb and his fingers spread out along her jaw, reaching the curve of her neck. His eyebrows drew together to match hers. "Tomorrow?" He repeated quietly. His fingers tightened momentarily against her skin. "Why? You've been here for a month and now you're leaving?"

"I was only staying until Jasper was better."

Severus blew a rough breath out of his flared nostrils and his gaze hardened. "So, that's why you're here?" He asked tightly. "Jasper?"

She knew everything she said was just going to hurt her. And him. But she wasn't going to lie.

"Yes," she replied quietly and the man visibly recoiled from her.

He let go of her face and made to step away from her completely, but Lucinda didn't remove her arms from around him. He didn't force her off, but he turned his face away. She could feel how thin he'd gotten in the time she'd been away. His cheeks were visibly sunken, especially with a clean shave.

"I... I don't know what to say." She tried to catch his eye, but he refused her the satisfaction. He kept his gaze on the opposite wall. "I thought he was going to kill himself. I-I couldn't just... What was I supposed to do?"

"So, you've been keeping in contact with him, as well," Severus replied with distaste. This time he did try to pull out of her grasp and Lucinda held tight.

"No," she said quickly. "No, I haven't. He found me on his own."

"Because it was so easy to find you?" He challenged, fixing her with a frightful gaze.

"No, he just—" she was getting more flustered by the second and everything that came out of her mouth sounded pathetic. "He just... happened... to find me."

The man's eyes didn't leave her distressed face, but there was no sympathy in his gaze. He seemed to become more frustrated and hostile the longer he looked at her. And it didn't help that she was becoming increasingly afraid. Her timid attitude enraged him. He didn't want this. He never wanted their time together to be tainted by anger and fear. As confused and betrayed and worthless as he felt for what she did, he would still rather soak up any second he could with her. Even if she didn't love him or want him. Even if she was furious at him. All of that was better than her demure, chocolate eyes, gazing up at him guiltily.

Snape pulled abruptly out of her arms and took two steps towards the front door.

"Don't leave!" Lucinda cried before she could stop herself. Severus looked over his shoulder and the young woman glanced up at the ceiling and then back down at him. "Please, don't leave." She lowered her voice, hoping she hadn't just woken Jasper. "I-I want to talk... I want to explain—"

"Then do it," he barked. "Explain. Now."

Lucinda glanced behind her at the doorway to the hall and then returned Severus' gaze with a torn look. "Can we sit down?" She swallowed tightly. "I can try to—"

"No trying," the man hissed, anger rolling off of him, as he faced her completely again. "Speak. Now."

The internal struggle was still evident on her face. She subconsciously brought her hands together in front of her and entwined her fingers. "I need to... get my thoughts in order." She spoke slowly and cautiously, afraid he was going to explode at any moment. Severus just stared back at her with barely concealed fury. "I can't just..." She trailed off, but that was apparently the exact wrong thing to do. The man took it as it was: she was still being dishonest. She was holding back; she thought she could deceive him. And he would not be made a fool again...

"Severus—" Lucinda grabbed his arm as he stalked away from her.

The man jerked out of the girl's grasp, as he neared his exit. He whipped around at the door and locked seething eyes on her. "Don't," he growled into her face. "Do not speak my name. I don't want to hear it!"

"H-How can I fix this?" She asked, hands floating there between them, wanting to touch him, but afraid to. "What can I do—"

He wasn't sure why her pleading made him even angrier. He wanted to shove her away. Instead, he bent his face down inches from hers and bared his teeth at her. "Then answer the god damned question, Lucinda."

She shook her head a little, feeling helpless. "What—"

"Why did you leave?!" He suddenly shouted and Lucinda was sure Jasper would be awake by now.

"I..." Her eyes flickered back and forth over his face. Even with the fury expelling from him and soaking into her, all she wanted was to be held by him; to bury her face in his neck and feel his fingertips along her back, as they embraced. "I wanted to... protect you."

Severus was so taken aback by this response that his expression dropped completely out of the realm of anger and was replaced by utter bewilderment. He tilted his head and drew his eyebrows so close together they became one. "What?" He replied deftly.

Lucinda's eyes shined a little in the dark, as she slowly reached her hand in the front of his robes and held onto them. "Please," she whispered and gently pulled him towards her, as she took one step back. "Come and sit with me. Let me explain."

His eyes still held confusion and consternation, but he slowly allowed her to pull him. His feet gradually shuffled forward, as if they were heavy and sticking to the floor. Lucinda still walked backward and their eyes never left one another. As soon as she was more confident that he would follow, she let the front of his robes glide between her fingers and fall away, as she turned languidly and finally broke their eye contact. She walked through the shop and when she went around the counter, she used that moment to look over her shoulder at him.

He was following. His eyes were intense and unblinking, as he watched her and walked in her shadow. She looked away from him again, as she ducked silently into the dark hall.

She would have rather sat with him by the fire maybe, but after the obvious commotion downstairs, she wanted to check on Jasper. She felt shameful pretending as if they hadn't just disrupted him. She took a right and started up the stairs.

A moment passed and she could hear Snape's boots stepping gingerly behind her. She blew a breath quietly from her lips and stepped off the landing into the upstairs hall.

Jasper's room was first. Lucinda paused at the door. With a hand on the frame, she turned her head and listened. Her eyes met the man's that stood beside her. She couldn't read his expression. He just seemed... patient. He had taken off his robes, while they walked through the house and he had them lying across his arm. His gaze drifted down her face and then back up again. His lips parted slightly, the beginnings of a declaration on his tongue.

Then a soft cough came from within the room. It was somewhat muffled, like the man had covered his mouth with his hand or coughed into his covers, but it didn't sound like he was awake; just a slight stir and then he was silent again.

Lucinda let her breath out, not realizing she'd been holding it, and walked away from the door. Once inside her room, she waited for the man to step inside and then she closed the door behind him. She turned around, subconsciously placing her hands behind her back, as she watched him. He faced away from her and turned his head slowly, taking in the room.

There wasn't much to look at. Lucinda hadn't exactly decorated. She just had her clothes in the wardrobe, some books and writing utensils on the bedside table, and her cauldron atop the small desk. A few bottles of potion ingredients were also there, but not many, because Jasper had anything she could ever want downstairs. The man's eyes seemed to linger on the desk. He stepped closer and carefully draped his robes on the chair that resided there. Then he finally turned around and looked at her.

"It's not very cozy..." Lucinda gave him a slight smile, but the man didn't return it. Her mouth slowly lowered back down. He didn't say anything to her. He was done asking. She knew what he was waiting for. "I didn't have a choice," she whispered with finality.

The man's hands were closed into fists at his sides, as he stared doubtingly at her. "I find that hard to believe. You always have a choice."

"No." She shook her head, eyebrows down in determination. "Not if I wanted you to be safe... But perhaps you're right. I did have a choice. And I made that choice very carefully... the right one."

"The right one," he repeated with a scoff and slowly turned, staring around at her few things. "And what, might I ask, was so dangerous that you had to leave in order to protect me?" He said the words with such sarcasm and disgust. Lucinda didn't let it deter her.

"I was a distraction, Severus," the young woman admonished gently.

Snape turned his head to look at her sharply. "What?"

Lucinda swallowed and shook her head, mostly to herself. "You cannot deny it," she said quietly and glanced at the floor. "I was the cause of many disruptions in your life—"

"My god." Severus stepped forward, eyes wide and disbelieving. "He got to you, didn't he?" He stood in front of her, black hues intense and roaming her face. "He got inside that brilliant mind of yours and twisted it. How—How could you be so foolish?!"

"Who—" she tried to remain stoic and he cut her off.

"Dumbledore!" He spat, teeth involuntarily snapping at her. "He actually made you believe that leaving would be for the best, am I correct? That it would be for the greater good, is that right? How could you... How could you be so stupid?!"

"And how can you deny that I wasn't a distraction?" Lucinda stared up at him with the first signs of resistance since he'd shown up. "You... You have responsibilities and you neglected those responsibilities time and again—"

"How do you know what I did or didn't do?" The man flexed his jaw angrily and his voice shook. "I can't believe you listened to him. I can't believe he sought you out and pinned you against me!"

"He didn't!" Lucinda cried, eyes distressing again. "He- He just made me understand the importance of a clear mind and a-a clear goal!"

Severus opened his mouth in pure shock and then he growled, "His goal, Lucinda! His plans! His manipulation and self-serving way of life!"

"It's for the safety of everyone," Lucinda said quietly, as she turned her face away.

Snape grabbed her chin and made her look at him again. "What complete and utter bollocks," he hissed. They were nearly nose to nose. His furious gaze flickered down her face and then locked on her eyes again. Damned if he cared, anymore. He pulled her chin forward roughly and kissed her lips.

Lucinda instantly pulled back with a gasp and shoved him away from her. Severus stumbled back and his dark eyes bore into her. He licked his lips. Lucinda's chest heaved with flustered breaths, as she stared widely at him.

"I think you kissed me back a little," he said in hushed tones, laced with a heaviness that warmed the center of her stomach.

"I didn't..." Lucinda's voice was nervous and she trailed off, not knowing the appropriate plan of action. She needed to leave in the morning. But the more she anticipated their parting, the more she felt herself being pulled into his smoldering energy and his suffocating gaze. "I'm going home in the morning."

"If you want to leave tomorrow and pretend as if you never saw me, fine." Severus stepped towards her again and her breath caught in her throat. "That's your choice. Do as you wish. I won't stop you. But I won't be pulled along behind you as some afterthought—"

"I wouldn't do that," Lucinda said with obvious hurt in her voice.

Once again, Severus was over her emotional declarations. They were all empty words. He stood in front of her and then stooped down so that they were at eye level with each other. "You're doing it right now, Gryffindor Girl," he said lowly. "You're putting up a wall between us, because you think that it's for the best. You don't want to lead me on, is that it?"

"Would you rather I pretend everything is fine?" Lucinda snapped back, staring hard at him. "Like I'm staying forever and it's just another night? As if nothing has changed—"

"Yes," Severus blurted and Lucinda's eyes widened in surprise. "That is exactly what I would rather you do. If this is it and there is no stopping you, then... then yes... For just this moment, don't assume me a floundering fool and just allow me this one thing."

Lucinda held her breath a moment and then asked, "What thing?"

The man grasped her chin again and angled her face up towards his. "Your complete and total honesty."

Her insides flipped anxiously. Snape didn't blink, as he awaited her response. Lucinda swallowed slowly and the man watched the movement in her throat.

"Okay." She said.

Snape's eyebrows lifted a little, as if somewhat surprised by her compliance. He gently released her chin and straightened back up, looking down at her. He waited a beat before asking, "Are you upset that I kissed you?"

Lucinda stared at him a moment before she glanced away and then, just when he thought she was going to ignore the question completely, she gave a subtle shake of her head.

The man let a breath out and backed up several steps. "Alright," he spoke casually, as he turned slowly on the spot, because he couldn't say the next part as he looked at her. "So, if it happened again, I assume you wouldn't be opposed..." He ran a hand along her bed frame and then looked over at her. "Would you?"

She had a couple of oil lamps going in the room. They cast shadows on the walls and across his face. She didn't answer him. She hesitated, eyes sliding over to stare at a spot on the floor. Then her gaze landed on him again and there was just the slightest shake to her head—and this time it was much more difficult to catch than the last. Snape wasn't sure he'd even seen it. But there was only one way to find out...

The man strode back over and cupped her face in his hands, bending his head down—

"But I'm leaving in the morning," she whispered anxiously. "This... this is just going to make it harder—"

"I don't care." Snape held her face tightly and stared fiercely at her. "I've wasted too much time already. I won't squander any more of it."

The young woman chewed the edge of her lip in distress and the man watched her. He watched the dull points of her teeth pressing tightly into her bottom lip. He inclined his head down once more, his lips parting and she drew back.

"Wait—"

"Do you want me to stop?" He tried to ask gently, but it came out breathy and forced. "Because I will. Say the word and I will do as you wish."

Lucinda's hands shook at her sides and her back brushed against the closed door. "I-I want..." Her voice was nowhere near the confident declaration she wanted it to be. Because she wasn't confident. She was afraid of what kind of anguish this would bring her in the long run. But his hands were warm and strong on her face and his lips were parted in anticipation. Tomorrow wasn't here yet. Before tomorrow came, she wanted to know his touch and feel his love. She wanted to drown in it. Before she came to her senses and did the right thing, she wanted to perish in his gaze. Then she spoke almost inaudibly, but he heard her.

"Kiss me..."

His lips were on hers the moment the words left her mouth. Her back pressed firmly into the door, as the man pushed himself against her and his mouth moved desperately with hers. He was still slightly stooped and she had to stretch up on her toes to reach him comfortably. She impulsively put a hand to the back of his neck with a gentle tug, as she tried to deepen the kiss. Snape, in turn, reflexively drew his hands down along her sides and then suddenly snapped her legs up to wrap around him.

Lucinda's breath hitched against his mouth at the abrupt movement, but she didn't pull away from him. Their noses touched, as she disconnected their lips to press her forehead to his, eyes closed and breaths coming fast. Severus gently nudged her face to the side and trailed kisses along her jaw and then down her neck. Lucinda turned her face completely away to allow him better access. Her head rested against the door, eyes still closed, because she was afraid to open them, for fear that doing so would make everything stop.

A breath shuddered out of her, as teeth nipped at her throat. Her thighs clenched around him and she inadvertently pulled his hips forward, pressing him up between her legs.

Severus tore his mouth from her skin with a sudden soft gasp and braced an arm on the door beside her head. As he pulled back to look at her, Lucinda's eyes opened to meet his (though hers were heavy-lidded, compared to his large, discerning hues).

He hesitated, as the part of him that still had morals fought for him to rethink his actions. Was he forcing himself on her? Was he even paying attention to her responses? Perhaps she was afraid to refuse him—

The man slowly pulled further back. One hand was still wrapped beneath her bottom. His grip on her loosened, as he prepared to let her back down.

Lucinda felt herself sliding and she squeezed her thighs together again to stop the movement.

Severus pressed his arm more firmly to the door to stop himself from pushing between her legs again, but his body shook from the force of it; perhaps from the concentration it took to both hold her up and not allow the extent of his arousal to be found out. He tried to, but she suddenly arched her back; her heals dug into his buttocks and forced his hips forward, once more. Unable to stop it, his stiffening organ brushed against her and his breath caught in his throat. What made it worse, she wore only a thin pair of pajama bottoms. He could feel every contour and dip of her body if he wanted to, but he couldn't... he couldn't—

He tried to pull back again, hoping to get ahold of himself—if he could only get away from her—

Lucinda purposely rocked her hips forward, legs clenched unimaginably tight around him, and his unmistakable arousal rubbed against her. Lucinda's eyes fluttered shut at the same time that the man groaned softly and tried to pull back again.

"Lucinda-"

Hands that were around his neck pulled him down and eager lips met his, silencing him. Severus took a sharp breath in through his nose and moved his mouth against hers, tongue momentarily darting out to caress the other. He kissed her deeply, hands roaming up her sides to tangle in her curling, mahogany locks.

Since he let go of her bottom, he had to push himself even tighter against her to keep her in place on the door. His slacks strained against his growing lust and without any intention of doing so—but he also couldn't help it—he suddenly thrust his pelvis up between her legs.

Lucinda snapped her head back with a gasp and her fingers tightened in the hair at the back of his head.

Severus was absolutely losing control, but for the moment he didn't try to gain it back.

He took advantage of the newly exposed flesh of her throat and wasted no time in tasting it fervently. He pressed hot kisses along her racing pulse and Lucinda let heavy breaths out that sent tremors throughout his whole body. He heard her mumble something, but he couldn't make it out.

Her skin was smooth and she smelled of spices and something citrusy. She kept writhing gently beneath him, back arching and pelvis grinding against his. The words on her tongue kept getting muted by her lips against the top of his head, but she was saying something. Her fingers ran over his shoulders and up through his hair, squeezing fistfuls and she muttered to him—

"...love..."

It was the only word he could decipher. And he couldn't help the jump in his heart and pulse at the realization that she could finally be voicing the declaration that he'd always yearned for. For as long as he knew he loved her, there was a part of him that couldn't accept that she would ever reciprocate. Return his physical affections, yes, but never to fully love him... but perhaps...

Perhaps now—

"Make love to me," she whispered and Severus froze with his lips still against her neck. He slowly straightened to stare into her glassy eyes and his brows drew together in confusion.

"What?" He breathed.

Regardless of the fact that she still had her legs wrapped around him and his most private part was currently flush against hers... it was this gentle demand that colored her cheeks the most.

"Please..." she said softly and brushed her lips across his forehead. "Make love to me, Severus." She trailed kisses down his temple and across his cheek, ending them against his mouth. "Make me yours tonight," she pleaded against his lips and kissed him. "Before we both change our minds—"

The man untangled himself from her and let her go. Her feet righted themselves on the floor and she stood, speechless, as the man snatched his robes from the chair and jammed his arm into one sleeve.

"Severus—"

"No," he snapped icily and jammed the other arm in, stopping when he was done to stare hard at her. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come."

Lucinda fought the urge to simply burst into tears, because her emotions were all over the place. "Please, don't do this," she said with a slight quiver to her voice. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you—"

"You?" He looked at her like she was insane. "I don't imagine that it is you that needs to restrain yourself. It is I, Lucinda. It will always be me... and I can't do this—" He pushed past her, as he used one hand to fasten the button at his neck and open the door with the other. He got as far as a hand on the knob and then she grasped his forearm.

"But I-I don't mind," she said quickly and there was another cough from the other room, but she ignored it in lieu of the situation at hand. "Please, don't embarrass me, Severus. I made it astoundingly clear what I wanted. There isn't any need for restraint."

"Not like this," he said quickly, not looking at her, but not opening the door. "We... I... I can't. Not like this... I can't... I can't do it like this." It wasn't often that he was flustered, but right now he was. There was a slight shudder to his voice and he hoped she didn't notice.

"Do you not..." Lucinda began with a hesitant glance at his face. "Do you not want me?"

Severus dropped his hand from the door and turned a fierce gaze on her. "Of course, I do," he spoke lowly and even leaned a little closer. "But..." His eyes roamed her entire face. "I cannot give in to wants, Lucinda... Not when there are other things to consider."

"Like what?" She exacerbated. "Whether or not it will complicate things or make things harder? I told you, I didn't—"

"Whether or not it's done in haste," the man spoke harshly, almost in an accusing manner. "Without a second thought, on a whim, spurred from the heat of the moment. That doesn't sound like something you want to involve yourself with."

"Stop telling me what I want," she growled up at him. "I can make my own decisions. And what I want right now is you. And based on how you acted and the fact that you told me you want me, then I don't see where this hesitation is coming from. Are you afraid it's going to complicate—"

"No!" He whispered fiercely, before she'd even finished. "I'm afraid you'll regret it!"

The young woman's head cocked to the side slowly. Her hair was just a little messed from being against the door and the man's hands in it. Her lips were plump and rosy from his kisses. "Why... why would I regret it?"

The man sighed and ran a hand back through his hair several times and then said, "You may think that this is right, but it's not. You may think this is what you want, but when it comes down to it..." He swallowed and stared seriously at her. "It is a vast decision. You... you can't just give yourself to anyone. And it... it shouldn't be an impulsive decision, at that."

"Wait a minute..." Lucinda said slowly, realizing suddenly why he was so hesitant. "You..." She shook her head. "Do you think I'm a virgin?"

He couldn't help it. He stared blankly at her... because that is what he had thought. But now looking at her expression... Merlin, almighty, he was so self-absorbed. She was gorgeous and smart and personable and, sometimes, quite flirtatious. Why had he thought she'd still be a virgin? Why did he think that, that would be his privilege to change?

"You're..." he said, almost confused at himself more than anything. "You're not."

"Um..." she said, uncomfortably. "No... I'm not. I-I'm sorry."

"Why the hell are you sorry?" He asked, though he stared at the floor as he said it, and it seemed almost as though he were questioning himself.

"I... I don't know," she confessed sheepishly. "I feel like I've... done something wrong."

He looked at her with exasperation then. "Of course, not," he said sharply, but he wasn't unkind. "I'm the one who was idiotic enough to think that... Never mind. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It was before I met you," she admitted quickly, though she wasn't sure why she felt the need to explain herself. "With an ex-boyfriend. I-I was sixteen."

"You don't need to explain yourself, Miss Morgan," he said quietly, as if reading her mind. "I told you. I was just being... stupid."

"'Miss Morgan', is it now?" Lucinda repeated with amusement in her tone. "Have I scared you back to last names? Shall I call you professor Snape?"

The man stared skeptically at her, but he couldn't help the affectionate tug of nostalgia at the back of his mind. His lips quirked up at the corners for just a second and then he dropped her gaze. "Anyway, I should go."

"You're still going to leave?" She didn't even try to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Aren't you?" He countered, fixing her with a gaze that told her to even try to deny it.

Lucinda sighed and looked away. "Yes," she replied somewhat removed from her emotions in that one moment. "As I said, I'm going back home in the morning."

"And where is 'home'?" He asked softly.

Her gaze lingered on the far wall and she gently shook her head. "You know I can't tell you that."

"I could just ask Jasper," he stated, matter-of-fact, and there was the slightest thump from the room next door.

She glanced at the dividing wall and then her eyebrows drew down. "He wouldn't tell you..." she said slowly, turning her gaze on him. "You've been very unkind to him."

"Been talking about me, then, have you?"

"Of, course," she said coolly. "You're our common interest."

He stared at her for another beat and then he grunted dismissively, turning to the door again.

Lucinda straightened and watched him anxiously, but before she even had a chance to stop him, he turned around and abruptly kissed her. Her hands went to his face instantaneously and kissed him back, reveling in every second of it, because she felt it was going to be the last.

"Must you leave now, though?" She whispered against his cheek, taking a moment to just be embraced by him.

"Why delay the inevitable, Gryffindor Girl?" He spoke gently, as he held her. His hand stroked the back of her hair. "Would it not make it that much more difficult to move on from this night?"

"Yes," she agreed, pressing her cheek to his collar, "but not ten minutes ago you said you didn't care. You said you didn't want to waste anymore time..."

He didn't say anything for a while. He just held her and breathed against her. For over a year, this was all he wanted. For months he didn't sleep, because his dreams were filled with her; about finding her and then losing her; searching for her for years, then learning she was long dead. They were really nightmares, not dreams. They plagued him for a long time...

He squeezed her tighter, knowing that the worst was yet to come; when she was going to walk out of his life again, as if she was never a part of it. It was too much, too soon. How could he be teased in such a way? To have her back in his life so abruptly, yet so briefly...

Severus pulled back and brought his hands up to cradle her face. She watched him, unblinking, lips slightly open. He would not get another chance to show her how much he loved her...

He kissed her again, but this time he was much more gentle. His mouth worked tenderly against hers and she reciprocated completely and fully, running her hands up his back, beneath his robes, along his shoulder blades. Perhaps it was alright, forgetting for a moment that she was not staying. Perhaps, as long as they both were aware of what would come after, it was okay to give in to the want of such intense physical intimacy. Of course, he had been hesitant before... before he realized that she was not so inexperienced as he thought she was. And, it was true, he had no right to judge her for something that had nothing to do with him; something that happened long before they had met. He, too, had relationships before her—albeit they had been brief, unfulfilling and nearly always physical and nothing more. They didn't matter. Past rendezvous didn't change what he and Lucinda were to each other... whatever they were.

However... Severus gently broke away from her to stare down into her face. There is one singular thing that could be the exception...

"Lucinda," he stated slowly, brows drawing down in seriousness.

The young woman watched him with bright, alert eyes. "What is it?"

He wanted to be delicate, but the words simply blurted from his lips. "Did you sleep with Samael?"

Lucinda's expression froze in surprise. She noticed at once that the man's hands tightened comparatively on either side of her face, as he awaited her response and observed any changes in her expression meticulously. Having not been prepared for such a question, her eyes didn't lie. She opened her mouth to speak, but all she managed was a slight stammer, "I-I..."

Severus' features darkened and he felt like someone had just clocked him in the gut. He had hoped it wasn't true. He had very adamantly convinced himself that Samael had been bluffing, just to get a rise out of him. But the sudden rush of color to her cheeks and quiver of her lips, told him everything he needed to know. She had, indeed, slept with the one person he loathed with every possible atom of his existence. He couldn't help it. He let go of her face and quickly backed away from her.

"Severus—"

"I need to leave," he said in a rush, turning around so as not to look at her. He couldn't look at her...

"Please, don't go, Severus." Lucinda stepped next to him, voice quivering with emotion. Her hands were clasped together at her chest in an action of distress. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but... but he had been my boyfriend at the time—"

"When?" Severus asked with a sharpness to his tone. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the door, the one he was itching to open and leave through.

"What?" Lucinda replied hesitantly.

"When did you sleep with him?" He growled, suddenly staring down at her. The disgust in his voice and gaze was so overwhelming that Lucinda wanted to burst into tears. But she didn't. She held it together.

"What-what does that matter? Why would you ask me—"

"Was it before or after we were intimate?" He was seething. The curl of his lips revealed a visual snarl, as he stared fire into her eyes.

Lucinda took a sharp breath in, not wanting the conversation to continue. He wasn't going to be able to calm down after this. She could see it, because she'd seen it before. She wasn't sure if this time was worse, or not...

"After..." she said quietly and stared up at him imploringly.

The muscle in the man's cheek worked so forcefully, that she saw his jaw shake from the motion and could audibly hear his teeth grinding together. His eyes grew wider and more terrifying than she'd ever seen them. His face erupted in a deep red that verged on purple, as if holding his breath. She thought perhaps that's exactly what he was doing. She awaited the explosion that was undoubtedly going to come in the next second...

But it didn't.

The man suddenly sucked a sharp breath in through his clenched teeth and turned way from her, ripping the door open so forcefully it slammed into the wall. Then he was out of the room and flying down the hall at such a fast pace that Lucinda had to nearly run to keep up.

"I'm sorry—" She tried to grab his arm as they neared the stairs and he jerked away from her. "I was heartbroken, Severus. You had just removed your memories—"

"After you told me that you'd chosen him!" He admonished vehemently, turning on her so intimidatingly that she backed herself into the wall. "And he was vile and you—you thought it would be a good idea to sleep with him?!"

"You told me you were going to destroy the memories of me!" Lucinda lamented, trying not to shrink under his penetrating gaze. "You wanted nothing to do with me! I was miserable and I just didn't care about anything, anymore! Can't you understand that? I didn't care what happened to me, anymore. Tristin was the only thing that I had that was even remotely close to affection—"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" He yelled—yes, really yelled—and Lucinda flinched. "That's... that's the excuse you're using?!"

"It isn't an excuse," she said with more shake in her voice than she would have liked. "An excuse would infer that an explanation is warranted and I do not have to explain to you why I did something while you had no fucking memory of me!"

Severus pressed himself against her before he could stop himself, pinning her to the wall. She had her hands clasped together as the only thing that separated his chest from her own. She glared up at him, as his head hung over her face menacingly and his return glare was astoundingly more vicious than her own. She could feel him shaking and she couldn't help the flicker of fear that passed over her expression.

Severus' anger didn't leave. It intensified. "And did you cower beneath him as you're doing now?" He whispered with almost a hiss to his tone. "Is this how you truly like to be handled by a man? Perhaps you like the humiliation and the cheap thrills it incites—"

"Oh, piss off!" Lucinda shoved him away, but the tears in her voice dampened the effect. "How dare you say such a thing to me?"

"Because it's true!" He snarled, straightening his robes with a sharp tug of his hands. "I don't know why the hell I came here!"

"Beats me!" She screamed back and then she shoved him again, edging him toward the stairs. "Go! If you're so disgusted by me, then leave! Go!" She was crying, but she didn't care, nor did she notice. "Get the hell out of here, Severus! Get out! I don't w-want to see you! Ever—" her hands collided with his chest, once more— "Ever again! Go—" and again, she pressed her hands to his chest and pushed— "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

The man stumbled back, catching himself on the railing before he went tumbling down the stairs. There was another thump that sounded down the hall at the same moment, but neither of them noticed. The emotions climbing up his throat and tightening his insides were palpable. His breaths heaved within him, as did the girl's—the woman's—although, the tears trekking down her face gave him pause. As furious as he was, he felt the need to hesitate. There was a miniscule part of him that thought perhaps he'd overreacted... but he squashed that part immediately and buried it away.

"Farewell, then," he snipped coldly and spun on the spot, flying down the stairs. A moment later, the door to the shop slammed shut and Lucinda collapsed onto the hall floor in a burst of sobs.

She covered her face with her hands, body slumping forward to press her forehead into the floor, and cried so violently she could barely breathe. Another thump came and this time Lucinda heard it, though she didn't stop crying. She lifted her face from her hands and the floor and stared down the hall, breath shuddering. Jasper's door shook and then slammed open, as the man himself collapsed forward into the hall.

"J-Jasper—"

"I'm sorry—" he gasped, as he tried to raise himself up, but failed. "I-I tried to be quiet." There was fresh blood on his chin and at the corners of his mouth, as well as some crimson flecking down the front of his cream colored night shirt. "I wanted to... give you time..."

Lucinda was already kneeling down next to him, tears now running down her cheeks for a different reason. "Jasper," she cried. "What-what—"

"Then I heard the d...distress in your voice," he ground out and his voice sounded wet, like he was choking on blood. "I tried to come... Lucinda... I'm sorry..." He froze, like he'd been electrocuted and then he fully collapsed the rest of the way to the floor. He was still after that.

Lucinda's eyes widened in panic and she screamed.

"Jasper!"