She didn't recognize herself anymore.

There were hollows in her cheeks and a darkness around her eyes. She didn't sleep much at night and when she did she was haunted by the things he did to her, asked her to do. When she was awake she stood by his side and remained silent for the most part. She barely ate unless he forced her to, which he did when he noticed her strength waning. He forced her to sleep, too, when he wanted her to and she didn't care to speculate if he did anything to her while she slept. Sometimes the clothes she wore were wrinkled and out of place when she woke but she'd been told by Emily more than once that she thrashed around in her sleep and called out Rupert's name.

His temper was getting shorter now. He didn't bother to warn. When she spoke out of line or crossed some boundary she didn't know was there he was swift and merciless in his retribution. She had bruises all along her body making her feel pain every time she moved. She'd never experienced anything like this before. She hurt when he wanted her to hurt. She hurt others when he ordered her to hurt others. The sword he gave her with a mockery of a loving smile had seen plenty of use on human and demon alike.

He was an exacting lord.

"There you are," he snapped. She closed the door behind her and entered the study. They were at the townhouse. It had been two days since she saw Buffy and in that time things had gotten so much worse. The only mercy is that he hadn't come for her again as he did in the warehouse but it was a small mercy. And she couldn't be sure about it, she only thought so.

"I'm here. What do you need?"

"Preparations are finished for the warehouse. In two days we'll have our jubilee under the full moon and my plan will be set in motion."

"I understand." Two days, God! Her stomach clenched. Buffy, hurry!

"Every magic user in London worth their salt will be there. It's time for you to learn your part in this plan."

"I'm listening."

He gestured to the leather chair opposite him which she took with a wince. She wanted a drink so badly she might have killed for it though she suspected killing was on her agenda in the coming days. The thought banished her appetite. She wasn't that person anymore and here he was forcing her to be his killer. His enforcer. There was plenty of blood on her hands and no matter how much she scrubbed they never seemed to come clean.

"Our little jubilee isn't just a celebration of an army formed, Faith. Surely you guessed that by now."

"I had a hunch." She frowned. "Go on."

"As powerful as this body is, even I can't do everything at a whim. I plan on doing something very special that night and for it I'll need an immense amount of magical energy."

"The magic users you're recruiting."

He smiled. "Even so. They'll be a necessary and joyous sacrifice to my intentions."

"What sort of mojo are you trying to work?"

"I'm trying to summon my world here. I'm going to suck the magical energy out of every body in that warehouse and bring forth all of my brothers and sisters to take over the bodies of the dead." He smiled and waited for the realization of his plan to dawn on her. "Imagine it, my dear. Hundreds of us free to roam this world and do whatever they desire."

She felt sick and choked back a gag.

"You're going to kill all of the people you've brought together so that other demons can take over their bodies?"

"Yes. We can't possess a host unless invited, you see, except when the host is dead. Recently dead is best so we don't have to deal with pesky things like decay."

"Jesus…" She could have cried but instead felt shockingly numb. She wanted to cry, but the tears simply wouldn't fall. Looking up, she caught him staring at her. "What do you need me for? Do you want me to be possessed, too?"

"Oh, no! I wouldn't dare risk you, Faith! You're too fun of a toy to play with. No, I need you hale when the ritual takes place."

"Then why -"

"You're going to be the bait, pet. The most powerful magic user in this city is the little witch that cast that locating spell for you. I need her; she'll be the perfect vessel for my sister."

"You want Willow." She clenched the arms of the chair, her knuckles bone white.

"Of course, and you're going to bring her to me. And you're going to kill anyone she brings with her that might get in the way."

She felt weak. Thankfully she was sitting because she wasn't sure she could have stayed on her feet in that moment. Her mind was spinning, sick with dread and comprehended too late that he only allowed her to contact Buffy, to meet with the other Slayer, to make plans of rescue. He wanted them to be worried. He wanted them to come and find her. He wanted to dangle her out like the worm on the hook all along. He'd used her when she thought she had the upper hand.

"What if they don't come?"

"After that conversation you had when you thought I couldn't hear?"

He laughed, a rich full belly sound that completely betrayed the gravity of the situation. He leveled his gaze squarely at her. He leveled his gaze, looking her directly in the eyes.

"Faith, I'm so sorry. I promise we'll get you out of this. We'll find a way to fix this. I promise. Just keep your head above water until then, ok?"

He mocked her with his tone, imitating Buffy and what the blond had told her, she thought in secret. Darkness began to blur around the edges of her vision and for a second she thought she might actually pass out. She didn't, but the hideous weight of what she'd done couldn't be shed. She'd drawn them into a trap she didn't know she was setting.

"It's them or this body, pet. I know you don't want to sacrifice the body of the man you love."

He lip trembled in response until she bit it hard enough to draw blood. "You can't."

"You'll find that I can, and I have."

"I won't."

"You will; you know you will. Let's not subject ourselves to the unpleasantness of you trying feebly to rebel. I suspect your body can't take much more damage right now without serious consequence and I'd like you mostly fit for my night of triumph."

The last twig inside of her snapped and she couldn't stop the rush of tears that streamed down her cheeks if she wanted to. She hated crying, and not just because she thought it made her look weak. Crying didn't solve anything. It wasn't going to stop this chess game from being completed with the king toppling and the world falling into madness. Yet she was standing there weeping in front of him because she'd been played and the consequences were dire.

"On one condition," she managed.

He quirked an eyebrow, an amused smile tugging his lips up. "Now that is surprising! This is why I keep you around. Very well, I'm listening."

"I want Rupert. I want him back for an hour tonight. I want to talk to him and see that he's ok. I want assurance if I'm going to do this for you."

"Interesting…" He steepled his hands as he leaned forward against the desk. "You realize I don't have to comply."

"Actually, you do. If I can't be sure he's safe you have no leverage over me. You're asking me to sacrifice my friends for love. The least you can goddamned do is let me talk to the man I'm sacrificing them for."

He considered her but, by her estimation, she didn't have a single fucking thing left to lose. Either way, if she did this or if she didn't she was a monster and would be one forevermore. Giles wouldn't agree with this; he'd plead with her to let him go and risk everything to save the others. He'd be sure to give her an earful of that tonight if he was allowed to come.

"If you ask, I'm sure he'll agree."

How could he not, when there was so much to lecture her on? He'd want to do it just to speak his mind, if nothing else. She wasn't sure she was cynical enough yet to believe that would be his only motive but there was a part of her that believed it would be much easier if it was. She got no answer while he considered. Finally, he leaned back in his chair and smiled.

"He agrees to the terms. One hour tonight. How about midnight? As he might say, there's poetry to it."

"Midnight."

All hell was going to break out in two days and it was all she could do to wait the hours down to midnight. She bathed thoroughly and fretted inside herself. She ate for the first time in days, slept a good long while in the afternoon. Her entire body was on fire with the idea that she'd get to talk to him, that he'd touch her. Even if the demon was able to listen in and would know everything that went on between them she couldn't stop the constant pressure of nerves and relief that assaulted her every second she counted down to midnight.

He appeared at her door one minute til. The master bedroom was mostly her own chamber. No one trespassed there without his say. She didn't feel safe there, even if it was the only thing she could consider her own, but at least she could be alone.

"Rupert?"

The change was subtle. His posture was drawn upright a little straighter and his gaze softened. Those soulful eyes took her in and took her measure and he said nothing for long moments. Neither did she until she let out a strangled sound and bolted into his arms. He wrapped them around her immediately and soothed her, running his hand over her hair.

"My love," he murmured. "Oh, my dearest."

They clung to each other as if for dear life. Seconds ticked by, they were both aware of them, but neither wanted to be the first to pull away. She finally did, wiping away tears she hadn't been aware of crying. They looked at each other, sad resignation between them.

"You can't do this, Faith."

"What choice do I have? If I don't he kills you, kills me, and gets her anyway. Maybe kills Buffy and Xander for fun if they don't try to stop him but we both know they will, so they're dead too."

"My life isn't worth it! You have to do something, anything, to prevent-"

"Fuck you."

He blinked, his head tilting. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me," she spat back. "Fuck you!"

"Faith I -"

"It's too late to get noble on me, G. Noble was before all of this happened. Noble was for before I got played by the demon wearing your skin. You see this corner I'm backed into? It's too late to self sacrifice your way out of it."

"Faith, please."

"Please what? Tell me what else I'm supposed to be doing! You think I don't care about this decision? You think it isn't fucking hell on Earth knowing that no matter what I do someone I love is dead. More than one someone, probably. Do you think for even a second I take any of this shit lightly?"

"No, of course not!" He reached for her, she shrugged away. "Of course you don't. Forgive me."

"I'm barely holding on here, G." She hugged herself. "I've done things, hurt people."

She pulled off her shirt and showed him the ugly purple splotches strewn across her skin, the abrasions that streaked red across them. She trembled as she stood exposed in front of him but didn't cover herself up now. He made a low curse and reached for her again. This time she let him hold her.

"I know. I've seen some of it. He likes to make me watch; it keeps me docile, same as you."

"He raped me."

He pulled her closer to his body. "I know."

"I can't keep doing this much longer."

"You are surviving. Survive, that's all I need from you."

"But Willow…"

"I don't know. Truly, I don't. It's unthinkable."

She slumped to the floor and he followed suit, awkwardly keeping her held as close as he could as he sank. She laid her ear to his chest and comforted herself in the steady sound of his heartbeat, a lullaby she'd listened to so many times in the recent past. It was hard to reconcile this man she loved to the monster that wore his skin. If she looked at him and forgot who he was, her entire body tightened, her heart skipped a beat, before she remembered.

"You have to care for yourself, love. You can't let him have that victory over you. Sleep. Eat. I need you to remain strong."

"Every time I sleep I dream about, I dream, I…" She broke into fresh tears and he didn't need to ask to know what she meant.

"I would give anything I have to take this from you. I love you so, dearest. I can't stand to see you suffering this way."

"But you can't."

"No. I'm sorry."

"These are my choices, G. This is all I can do. Keep my head above water just enough not to drown."

"I love you, Faith. I love you more than words could possibly say. I believe in you."

She nodded but couldn't bring herself to say it back. Of course she loved him, but those feelings felt so damning, confusing. It wasn't fair, she realized, to take it out on him.

"Rupert, I love you too."

"Time's up."

A faint red glow in his eyes showed that this wasn't the same man anymore. She quickly pulled away and scrambled to her feet, backing away. He laughed to see her acting like a frightened animal but didn't pursue like the predator she knew him to be.

"How sentimental. It's enough to turn the stomach. I hope you've gotten that well and truly out of your system now."

"I won't stop loving him."

"And he won't stop loving you either. It's very convenient for me this way."

"You're getting your witch. Leave me alone."

"As you wish." He moved to the door and looked back, winking at her. "Sweet dreams, pet."

Somehow, she didn't think she'd be sleeping that night either.