Chapter 40: Forever
They heard a knocking on the door… Sun was already high in the sky and they were literally sleeping on each other in the sofa. They must have felt asleep looking at the nature yesterday evening. Claire rubbed her eyes to help them open. She was not a morning person. Neil dropped a kiss on her cheek and walked to the door. "Coming."
As he opened the door, he saw Ben. "Sorry to bother you. Didn't realize you were not up yet."
"It's Ok. We didn't hear the alarm clock. We slept very late last night."
Ben smiled at him. "Not what you're thinking of. We were busy watching the nature surrounding us."
"You understand why I don't want to live anywhere else?"
Neil nodded. He was a very lucky man. Ben turned towards a woman who were just behind him. "Neil, please meet Hansa, Hansa, meet Neil."
"Nice to meet you! Since the time Ben is talking about you, it's nice to see a face!"
"My bad! I promise him to come so many times and had to cancel at the last time…"
"He's a bad friend." Ben laughed. "And the person just here having troubles to wake up is Claire, Neil's fiancée."
Claire stood up from the sofa and came to see Hansa and Ben. "Nice to meet you, Claire. My husband told me we're gonna spend the whole day together. At least if you're OK with it. I may know some places that could interest you and I'd like to bring you there."
"It'd be a pleasure to come with you. Just let me an hour just to dress up and have some breakfast and I follow you anywhere. These guys need time to talk about their past achievements."
Claire stuck her tongue to Neil. It was one of their things. They loved teasing the other. Hansa looked at her husband and laughed. "They remind me of us, don't they?"
One hour later, Claire was in car with Hansa. Neil and Ben had decided to go hiking for the day to remember their young years. "It's very nice of you to help me."
"My pleasure! When Ben asked me if I can help, I agreed immediately. You don't get married every day! And I love to go shopping, so it was not too hard to convince me!"
Claire already liked this woman. She was fun, she was frank and she probably knew a lot of things about Neil's past. The closest town was one and a half-hour drive from the hotel. Perfect time to get to know each other. Hansa asked Claire about her job, her life in California. It seemed so exotic for her who had never been anywhere else than in Thailand, Laos and Vietnam! Claire asked her about life here, about her first date with Ben and how they met. Before they had time to think, Hansa was already parking the car. "And we are in Ventiane! Welcome to Laos!"
Claire kept her eyes wide open. It was beautiful! All these temples, these statues, these huge stone doors. She was impressed. "Lost in memories?"
Claire smiled. "No I was watching the panorama. Ventiane is absolutely stunning!"
"It is! Too bad I don't have enough time to make you visit the city. Maybe next time! Today let's focus on what you're gonna wear on Thursday!"
Hansa brought her in a little shop in a tiny street. She knew the place so well. This shop was everything Claire could ask for. They spent the afternoon there. Claire tried a lot of dresses before choosing the one she wanted to wear for her wedding day. She couldn't believe she was about to get married to Neil! She had felt something for him from the moment she met him. But what she was living with him was way more than a crush, it was a magical adventure, despite some disagreements and arguments.
Hansa helped her to select the perfect dress and to choose the shoes to go with, and some jewels too. Nothing too big. Claire liked very discreet necklaces and earrings. When she had found anything she needed, Hansa took her to a small restaurant where they served true Laotian food. On their way back to Talay Bua Daeng, Claire thanked Hansa for her patience and her advice.
"I'm very happy I could help you. Neil and you seem to share something really special. Ben explained to me Neil had always had complicated relationships. Two of them really marked him… You know… This woman who didn't want kids broke him hard… And the other he had a short affair with, the one he confessed it was a big mistake…"
Claire lowered her head. She knew about these two. She knew the women she was talking about. She had even worked with them.
"Neil loves you, Claire. I can see this only by looking him watching you. He seems hypnotized every time you're around. You're a pretty lucky girl and I can say by the way you're looking at him, he means the world to you too."
Claire nodded. "He saved me, you know… When I was down, when I was alone because I had lost everyone around me, he came out of nowhere and helped me to get better. I don't know where I'd be if he hadn't been here to help me understand life was worth it."
"You're soulmates, sweetie. When I met Ben, I felt the same way. Almost 20 years later, after having 3 kids together, nothing has changed. I can feel the same passion, the same feeling between you and Neil. Believe me, God put him on your way for a good reason. He saved you, you saved him and now, you're gonna start a great adventure together. Now get to sleep, tomorrow's gonna be a big day. I'll come to see if you need any help to prepare. Have sweet dreams, Claire."
Before leaving Hansa, Claire hugged her. She needed to show her how grateful she was for the day they had spent. "Thanks for everything, really, it means a lot." Claire joined her room. Neil was in their bed, reading a novel. She went to take a shower and came in bed. She cuddled next to him and put her head on his chest.
"Hope I don't bother you…"
He just smiled and dropped a kiss on her hair. "Couldn't be better."
The next thing, she knew was that she was deeply asleep. She had a lot to do on the next day.
Thursday was already here. When she woke up, Neil was already gone. He let her a note. He was using Ben and Hansa's apartment to get prepared. She could use the suite as long as she wanted. The ceremony was planned at 4 PM. She decided to stay in bed for a little while, just to empty her head and focus on the most important: Neil and she were going to be married in a few hours! She wanted to scream, to yell, to jump because she was so excited. But she had to get prepared first.
Claire got her dress out of the box. She delicately put it on the bed and spent a few minutes to look at it. She liked it, she liked it a lot. It was simple but elegant, pure but a little naughty. She dressed up. She made up on her own, just a little of gold eyeshadow and mascara, some blush and red lipstick. She put her little zircon earrings and her jade necklace. Hansa joined her later and brought her a white jasmin bouquet.
"For the gorgeous bride… You look amazing. Neil is a lucky man."
Claire blushed. "Thanks for everything Hansa."
She nodded. "Just tell me when you'll be ready and I'll take you to meet your future husband."
Hansa closed the door and let Claire alone in the room. Before going, she needed to stay by her own for a while. She had no doubt, she knew what she was doing was the right choice, the only one to be fair. She had fought her feelings for Neil for too long, she had lost a large amount of time trying to convince herself she was not in love with her then boss and mentor. All this time was far away now. She looked at herself in the mirror. She seemed appeased, peaceful, happy.
Hansa left her near the alley that led to the altar. Lotus flowers were on the ground. Claire followed them and saw Neil wearing a black tuxedo waiting for her next to the priest. She took a deep breath and walked to him, pressing her bouquet in her hands.
Neil couldn't look at anything except her. He was in awe in front of this tiny woman. Her short white dress just fitted perfectly on her. He liked it, he liked it a lot. It looked like her: macramé on her shoulders, made in white linen, bohemian style, and a little lace belt round her waist. She even had a white orchid in her hair that she kept romantically undone with rough partings and soft, flexible tumbling natural waves.
She stopped in front of him. She was smiling idiotically, so did he. Before the priest started, he whispered. "You look beautiful".
"You're not so bad yourself."
He grinned and took her hands in his. It was time. The priest gave them a benediction. Hansa and Ben were there to assist him and bring the flowers to bless their union. Claire could prevent the tears from coming to her eyes. Neil refrained his too. This moment was so singular, so unique, like them.
"I guess it's time now for the young bride and groom to speak."
Claire and Neil looked at each other, a little embarrassed, their hands tied. "You go first." They laughed. How was it possible they said the same thing, at the same time. Hansa, Ben and the priest let out a laugh. "So if you don't mind, I go first…"
Neil took a deep breath and began telling his vows:
"This had not been quite easy to wake up one day and to learn I was disabled for life…The surgeries, the rehabilitation, the protocol device and finally the diabetes… Which is a simple price to pay when you think of it! During these hard times and even before that, you were here, you always have been here. From the beginning, from the day you went against me about a patient who needed a psych consult before surgery because he was not ready. You told me – reluctantly – the contrary of superior was subordinate. You were not scared of hierarchy, of embarrassing your attending. You did this in front of everyone, you discussed the words of your chief without even doubting. You just said what you had to say."
He paused for a moment. She was looking at him, smiling and pressing his hands in hers, letting out some giggles from time to time when he remembered of this embarrassing but rewarding moment in front of everyone in the ER. He pressed her hands in his.
"You have been challenging me since, like anyone never did before. You've forced me to listen to the others, to admit that I was not always right… Even if I am many times…"
He winked at her.
"You've reminded me why I became a doctor in the first place, why I got into medicine. You've made me understand that arrogance didn't make me a better person- as I was convinced before. That only good will and commitment to my patients can make me a better surgeon… A better person.
You've given me a purpose, a goal…You are making me better everyday. I've become a person I've never thought I could become. I am a better version of myself. I would not have been like this if you have not been by my side. Especially when everything turned bad for me. You never let me down. On the contrary, you even spent more time with me.
You've helped me to get through this nightmare, to learn things about myself, about you, about us. You've helped me to understand I can have a happy life with disabilities, that the same disabilities make me stronger… That the only thing I couldn't live without is you… You're my better half in life like at work. You've never failed me even in the worst moments…
Sometimes, you just sat and listen to what I have to say and it's enough. You know my strength, my weaknesses, my fears and you never judge me. You love me for who I truly am… You love me because I am who I am. And I am who I am thanks to you. I love you, Claire Browne. And every day, I thank God He put you in my path. Because without you, my life would have never been complete."
Claire let the tears coming out of her eyes. And seeing that Neil's eyes were wet too didn't help her to stop crying. It was her turn to speak, her voice was shaking.
"Growing up I had nothing. My mother was never there for me. I learnt to take care of me by myself. I had no one to lean on. I built myself alone. And I made a promise to my young self: I will succeed in everything I'll undertake. I will never become like her, I could not impose that to anyone. And if one day, I'd become even the half of what she had done to me, I will lock up myself away from anyone."
He pressed stronger her tiny hands in his. He knew how difficult it was for her to talk about her past that, despite everything she said, was still haunting her.
"And one day a teacher told to me I was gifted. And I started to believe in me. I worked hard every day and often I forgot about other people. As I was left to my own devices, I made some mistakes. I stole oatmeal and tomato soup form the supermarket to survive. .. I made it several times until a security guard saw me when it fell from my back bag. She was nice to me. She didn't judge me… You don't either. You accept me for who I am and I know sometimes I can be very stubborn."
They laughed and shared one of their conniving looks. Right now they were alone, in their own bubble.
"When I arrived in Bonaventure 5 years ago, my life came to a turning point. You taught me to be more self-confident, to defend my ideas with passion, to argue when no one was listening to me. You taught me I was more than a soft touch, I was as harsh as any other resident, as any other doctor. You taught me that being a soft touch was not necessarily a bad thing. It was MY thing!
You change my life in so many ways…. Many ways I would have never thought of, even in my wildest dreams. You make me feel me, you make feel loved, you make me feel alive. I deeply love you, Neil Melendez, with my whole heart and soul."
Claire ended telling her vows, tears rolling along her cheeks. She finally said it out loud, she told him how she felt about him, how he made her feel. And judging by the way he was crying too, he shared the same emotions as she. The priest talked again and gave them the benediction. Ben gave Neil the ring for Claire, Hansa did the same with Claire.
"Do you Neil Melendez, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do." Neil delicately took Claire's left hand and put the ring to her finger.
"And you, Claire Browne, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I surely do." She placed the ring on Neil's finger.
"Then by virtue of the authority vested in me, I hereby declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."
They were both crying. It was happening, it was true. They were married, they were officially husband and wife. Their first kiss as a married couple had nothing to do with the first they ever shared. If this latter had been passionate and wild, the one they shared this time was more delicate, deep, connected. The promise of being together forever, of never letting the other go whatever the obstacles they were about to handle. Together as one, forever against the world.
