Ohhhhh, I do love them! I hope you enjoy!
Mrs Hughes walked along the corridor with a tray in her hand. On a plate in the centre, sat a steaming bowl of stew that she had put aside for Carson. When he had finally gotten chance to talk to his Lordship, it had been later than he had anticipated, and so he hadn't made it down for dinner. Mrs Hughes had been in knots since then, looking at the clock, peering out in the corridor to see if he had come downstairs, but he never had. It had left her feeling nervous like he had kept himself out of the way rather than give her the bad news. Then she had learnt that his Lordship had gone back to bed so she knew the conversation had been completed. Taking up his dinner had a multitude of meanings behind it. One was to make sure that things were fine, that they hadn't needed to use Lady Mary as a backup for what they wanted. The other was because she missed him, and wanted to see him and make sure that he was doing well. By bringing up some food for him it justified her entry into his room. If anyone said anything that would be her excuse.
The lighting in the corridor wasn't the best, and it gave out an ominous feeling as she made her way down it. The shadows seemed to reach out to her like they were trying to tell her that it was all going terribly wrong. Like a foreboding of sorts, she felt her stomach grow cold and ice moved through her veins as if her blood was slowly freezing over. The steam from the bowl of food rose into the air like little ghosts, reaching into the air to pluck away any warmth that there was.
When she reached his door, she turned to look behind her before adjusting her grip. When she did, she was able to hold the tray in one hand. Before she could muster the courage to knock, she leaned towards the door so that she could see if she could hear anything. All there was in the air was the loudest of silences. Not even a shuffle. The anticipation was too much, so she knocked on the door gently and waited for a response. What if he wasn't even there?
"Come in," she heard him say. The tone was quite flat, and this sent her nerves to pieces.
Opening the door gently, she peered around it as it slowly moved open, searching for his eyes whilst trying to maintain balance with the tray that she had now taken with both hands. His eyes were always key, as they spoke louder than any facial expression. When she managed to find him, she could see that he looked upset. The way his eyes glistened under the dim light of his room made her think that they could be tears. To her, that signalled that it hadn't been a success. "What's wrong?" she said quietly and hesitantly, her tone laced with genuine concern and worry. The words needed to come out rather than her wanting them to come out. Making the words verbally leave her mouth meant that she was going to get an answer, and that might not be the answer that she wanted.
Carson looked at her and his lips moved to form the smallest semblance of a smile because he was happy to see her face. Then he stood up and moved to close the door behind her before turning to look at her with wide eyes and a down-turned mouth. Silently, he took the tray from her hands and placed it onto the side before taking her arm and pulling her into him so he could wrap his arms the whole way around her. "Nothing," he whispered into the top of her head as he rested his chin there. Then he gently took his lips and pressed them against her forehead. "Absolutely nothing."
Mrs Hughes exhaled and sighed before wrapping her arms around his back and locking her fingers together. Inhaling his musky scent, she nestled her head into his chest and took a moment to appreciate the gesture that he had placed around her. It was warm. It was comforting. It was all a little confusing. The man was telling her that there was nothing wrong, but everything about him was signalling otherwise and it made her worried.
Mrs Hughes lifted her head and peered up at him, searching his face for anything that she could read that told her otherwise. One of her hands let go of the other, and she brought it up to gently touch his cheek. "Your expression tells me otherwise, Charlie," she whispered in an unconvinced tone. There was a very fine stubble growing on his cheeks, and she traced her fingers delicately over it, feeling the way it tickled the tips of her fingers. Stopping at the edge of his jaw she paused, rubbing along it with her thumb before moving to press her hand against his neck. "Tell me," she whispered, giving him a reassuring smile, even though inside she felt like she was cracking into pieces. "Whatever it is, we can tackle it. You know that."
Carson sighed and continued to hold his hands against her, feeling the warmth from her fingers on his neck as she tried to soothe him. "I love you, Elsie. Very very much."
"I know, silly," she said, pushing out a smile. "His Lordship didn't like what you had to say, did he?" Her words were hesitant, weak and filled with disappointment. The room fell silent and Mrs Hughes felt as if the atmosphere could crush her into dust particles so all it would take was a gust of wind to send her away.
Carson cleared his throat as he thought about how to tell her the good news. The truth was he was completely overwhelmed. The expression on his face was because he was full of such emotion that he didn't quite know what to do with it. It was all going to be good for them. They were going to start their life together without any negativity from any side. Mrs Hughes was going to be his and he was going to live his life to the fullest. Working at Downton with her by his side. Living his life with her in every sense of the word. The emotion gurgled to the surface like a volcano, threatening to erupt at the slightest push or nudge. "Elsie," he whispered, his eyes beginning to fill with tears as he thought about how beautiful she was and how she was his. They were one. It was all going to be fine.
Mrs Hughes' eyes grew wide as the first tear fell from his eyes, igniting the already present worry within her like a raging bushfire. Inside, all she could think about was how bad it must be. "We will find something, Charlie. It'll work out if we can't work here any longer. As long as we are together, It doesn't matter." Feeling compelled to soothe his emotions, she let go of his body and took her hands to his face to wipe away the tears with her fingers. Swiping each one away, leaving a glistening trail on his cheeks from where they had made their path down his face. Then she heard him sniffle as he tried to clear his throat and she felt herself begin to get worked up herself as if she couldn't help but mirror his emotions.
Carson cleared his throat and smiled at her, lifting his broad hands to take her cheeks. Without stopping to think, he moved into her warmth so that he could press his lips to hers. As he enveloped her gently, inhaling the sweetness of her breath as he did, he felt her shift her hands so that she could take his arms. The way she returned the kiss signalled to him to continue, and for a few moments, they shared one another's essence, comforting each other without words in successive and reassuring motions.
When Carson parted from her, the desire to carry on compelling him to continue, he wrapped his arms around the top of her shoulders. "Elsie," he whispered. "His Lordship accepts us." His voice faltered as he said it and he pressed his mouth on the top of his head as he tried to control himself. "He accepts us. It's all fine."
Mrs Hughes stirred against him and moved her head back, wide-eyed and confused. "He does?" she responded, her voice catching the excitement that sprang from nowhere like a spring. "Then why do you look so sad, Charlie? You had me so worried." She hit him gently on the arm in faux anger.
Carson again tried to clear his throat so he could speak without faltering, his heart beating hard as he tried with all of his might to control himself. It took him a moment, and in that time all he could do was gaze upon her and smile, his hand rubbing her upper back. When she leant back again he could see her searching his eyes, and taking a chance whilst she was looking at her he leant down to kiss her on the cheek. "I'm a man with a stiff upper lip, Elsie. I walk through life with a rod keeping me straight and with a vice around my emotions because it's who I need to be as a person in my job. There have been times, of course there have when I've not been able to fully keep myself in check. It's only human. I'm only human." Carson inhaled deeply and rubbed her arms from the shoulder down. "I've rationalised and told myself over and over again that I am happy with what I have, and I suppose in essence that is the truth. Everything was as I have worked for. Everything was as I had envisioned my life, and so I let myself believe that I was as happy as I ever could be. That I was at the peak of satisfaction and happiness."
"I think we both were, Charlie," she whispered apathetically, her fingers reaching out to grab the edges of his jacket.
"And then you came along," he faltered, bringing in a mouth full of air as he steadied himself from that same expanding rush of emotion that was inflating in his chest. "And then I found you for who you are to me. I've found that missing piece that has made me complete. The reason why I looked so glum is that I was and am so filled with happiness and love that I, for a moment, have no idea how to deal with it. It shook me to feel such strong emotions for you and the situation. I'm not an emotional man, not like some, and so I find myself struggling not to fall apart at the idea that everything is going to be perfect. It's here, teetering on the edge, pushing me to crack and let everything out." Then he took his hand to hold her cheek, watching as her eyes filled with tears as she listened to his words. "And it's not to fall apart due to dire consequences, it's allowing the love to release me from everything else, to let it push away the shadows. It needs to break me and rebuild me so I can be who you need me to be."
"You are who I need you to be, Charlie," Mrs Hughes said gently into his hand as she moved to kiss it. "You are everything I need. I love you for you, warts and all, and you don't need to be anything other than you. You're the man that I fell in love with. You are the man who has kept me strong for all of these years."
Carson nodded his head and brought his hand up to wipe at his face. "I just want to make you happy. I want everything to be perfect for you. Everything I do has the sole purpose of making you as happy as I can."
"YOU make me happy. YOU make me the happiest woman on this grand expanse of land we call home. I don't need you to change and I would never ask you to. Although this all sprang from one of the most horrendous things that I have ever had to experience, I am thankful that it did. We may not be perfect, you and I, but together we are. We may have twenty years, we may have thirty years or even ten, but all that matters is that we get to spend whatever time we have left together."
"We got what we wanted, Elsie," he said, his bottom lip quivering as he laughed and tried not to cry with increased force. "And I am so happy." Then the tears began to fall again and he laughed as she tried to wipe them all away.
"You silly man," she cooed. "What am I going to do with you?" she laughed as tears began to fall from her own eyes, her breath catching in her throat as she finally let it all sink in that they were going to be what they wanted. They were going to continue as they had hoped.
Carson watched as she cried and he cupped her face between his hands and gently kissed up both of her cheeks before pressing his lips against her forehead.
"Charlie," Mrs Hughes whispered, pulling herself backwards so she could look up at him once more. All of this emotion had left her feeling the desire to kiss him.
Carson felt his facial expression soften when he looked at her, the tears ceasing as he finally settled into the happiness in his chest. Then he looked into her eyes and watched as she smiled, her eyes glistening and her body moving closer as she held both of his hands. Then she moved closer into his space, and he could see her lips part as she moved in to kiss him. When her lips made a connection with him he felt warmth and butterflies explode in his chest, his mind screaming with happiness as he let her kiss him. The way she enveloped his lips with hers made him want to sigh, her lips touching his in soft and delicate motions. Each touch was with purpose and with pressure. Each repeat was exquisite and unique with each brush. Then her lips hovered over his so they didn't quite touch, but he could also almost feel the electricity exuding from them and he swooped in, unable to keep away. Carson let her keep control, and he reacted at her mercy, in wonderful blissful motions. Although his eyes were closed it felt like he could see it all unfolding. His hands had taken a firm grip of her hips and he could feel her hands moving up his chest in warm massaging motions. It reminded him partially of his dream, and he consciously reprimanded himself for doing allowing it into his mind because it made him want more. It would not be right. It would happen one day, but it was not the time.
Mrs Hughes pulled her mouth away and rested her head against his chin, taking a moment to catch her breath as she tried to stop the outward tingle that was spreading through her body. The desire to let him touch her, the desire to let him be everything that she wanted was creeping into her mind to derationalise her normally rational brain. The thought of him filled her. The desire of him controlled her, and she knew she needed to pause.
"It's ok, Elsie," Carson whispered.
Mrs Hughes thought about the empty part of her life that had now been filled. The words that he had spoken to her just a short while before stinging at her conscious as it reminded her about just how happy she was now. It was everything they had hoped for, and their future looked as bright as the purest of sunlight. Resting her hands on his chest she could feel the rise and fall of his heavy breathing, his heart hammering against her hand as he tried to calm himself as she was also doing. Life could really be as good as they said it could. Life was going to be as good as she had heard and read about. If she could stay in this blissful bubble forever she would be happy. Eternally.
"I never thought that I could feel this happy, Charlie," Mrs Hughes sniffed quietly, steadying her bottom lip as she did. It reminded her briefly of the dull ache of loneliness she had felt from time to time over the years. The jealous pang as she had watched the people around her move on with their life, be overcome by happiness and settle into marital bliss. There were exceptions to the rule, and Mrs Patmore and herself had spoken about their single life and how they would likely grow old together as friends. They were of similar age after all. But now, after everything, she had settled into her own perfect corner. The man that had his arms so firm as he delicately held her. The way he kept leaning down to gently kiss her atop of her head, and the way he reassured her and settled her without even doing a thing. This was the start of their own perfect journey. "I hope you feel as happy as I? I don't think I could take in anything else because I feel like I could burst."
"I could burst right at the seams, Elsie," he cooed, lifting his head so she could nestle into his chest properly. Softly he cradled her against him, moving his body from side to side as he let the rhythm of their breathing dictate the pace of his movement. It was perfect. "It's a shame we have to go about our lives because I could stay like this forever. Are you required downstairs?"
Mrs Hughes sighed. "I should really go back down. I only said I was coming to drop you up your supper," she said dejectedly, looking out of the corner of her eye at the food on the tray that was still steaming into the air. "But I don't want to," she groaned, moving her face harder into this body.
Carson kissed her again on the head and let her go. "I know," he said apathetically. "And I don't want you to either."
"Work is work after all," she smiled before moving her hands to straighten her hair, conscious just in case it had come loose for whatever reason.
"Yes," Carson agreed. "And I can't wait to start again. I'll be back to work in a few days. It'll be good to ease the pressure from you and just get back into things. I don't like being idle."
"I know you don't," she grinned, rubbing his arm with her hand. "But you do as you're told," she scolded playfully. "I'll not have you relapse into a state."
Mrs Hughes looked to the tray and then back to Carson who was looking at her with doe eyes and she took her hands to straighten out his outfit. "What will you do with your evening?"
Carton smiled and pointed to the tray. "Eat. Rest. I also think I might read Lady Mary's letter."
Mrs Hughes could see it sitting on his dresser in an untouched and unopened state like he had been told to keep it until he had spoken to his Lordship. It left her feeling a little curious, but she would no doubt hear about it. It was private, something that was for his eyes only, but she knew that he would likely talk to her about it if it moved him in some way. "Ah yes. Now you've spoken to his Lordship you can read it. Will you be ok?" Mrs Hughes had felt him tense up when he had mentioned it.
Carson had caught himself looking at it on and off all evening. There was a small sense of trepidation there, but at the same time, he thought that it might tell him things that he had already been told. Once he was settled for the evening, he was going to climb into bed and read it. "Quite," he replied. "We have exchanged many words over recent days and I think it'll likely reiterate the sentiment."
"That sounds like a sound plan," she said. "So, I think I should go back down now. Now, get yourself into that bed and get some rest, or you'll have me to contend with."
Carson smirked and took off his jacket. "I wouldn't want that." Then he let out a hearty laugh and gave her another smile. It was all he felt like doing. Kissing her and smiling.
"Will I see you tomorrow at breakfast?" She said hopefully.
Carson nodded fervently. "I'll come down a little while before. We can start going over some of the handovers if you would allow it?"
Mrs Hughes raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. "Aren't you meant to be relaxing and keeping away from work?"
Carson chuckled again. The truth was that he would give anything to spend time with her, even if it meant briefly touching the outskirts of his job. It would only be a little. Likely going over some paperwork, seeing what's been done and what was outstanding. It would be nothing strenuous. "Well, yes, but if it means we can get some time with each other before the day starts then I'll take my chance," he grinned. "I also need to get back into a routine. My sleeping is a little out of sorts at the moment, so I think it's important to start ahead so that on my first day I'm not over-tired."
Mrs Hughes felt her cheeks grow warm as she blushed. "Well, I can't deny I would like that."
"Right we are," Carson said. "Thank you for bringing me my supper. I knew I wouldn't make it down due to the time of the meeting, but then I needed some time to compose myself. I appreciate you taking the time to bring it up."
"Don't be silly," she said, moving to kiss him on the cheek. "Now, I need to get moving. Make sure you get into that bed, Charlie Carson," she said playfully but with a hint of conviction.
"Of course." Carson leant down to press his lips gently on hers one more time before she left. "You have a good evening too."
Mrs Hughes smiled and opened the door, turning to smile at him as she pulled it to a close. Then she let out a contented sigh as she placed her head on the door for one moment, her mouth turning into a huge grin. Like a schoolgirl, she felt consumed by him, and she had to try her hardest to not giggle, her heart beating hard in her chest so she could hear it in her ears. Taking just a second, she ran her hands over her body to make sure that her attire was in a presentable state. Then she made her way in the direction of the stairs, doing everything she could not to break out into a skip. The ominous corridor now seemed so much brighter, and it reminded her of how perspective influenced the world. Life was good. No, life was amazing.
