It was the beginning of sophomore year. Ophelia and Montgomery's relationship had picked up quickly.
They were more sexually active than ever as they became more and more comfortable with each other.
Montgomery had already told her he loved her. That's what she had cared about most out of anything. And at first, sex just seemed like this thing that couples did together that made them both feel good.
But the longer she dated Montgomery, the more she felt like sex was a way to physically feel that love.
Maybe Ophelia felt that way because she heard all these sex horror stories of men finishing, and women not. It was as thought they didn't care about the women, just the sex. Montgomery always made sure she had a good time.
And maybe it was the way Montgomery held her after they had sex, so gently.
Whatever it was, she knew he drove her crazy, and she knew she liked having sex with him. So once she finally got used to it, and comfortable enough to know he found her body beautiful, they did it almost every single day.
Until the day that Ophelia called Montgomery before school, and asked him to pick her up, and asked to skip school with him.
This was odd to Montgomery, because Ophelia never skipped school. In fact, she was the reason he never skipped a whole day anymore.
But he was happy about it. Maybe he rubbed off on her, and they would start having more fun away from school.
But when he picked her up, and they left her neighborhood, she started crying.
Montgomery was still not one that knew how to comfort a crying girl. But he tried his best, for her.
"Is your mom being a bitch again?"
He cringed. Shit, that didn't come out right.
"I-I mean, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
Ophelia had barely been crying, but Montgomery was so freaked out she might as well have been bawling. He pulled over into a parking lot.
"Nothing happened," Ophelia mumbled, sadly. "Nothings been happening. That's the problem."
Montgomery was often confused by women, now more than ever.
All he knew was his girlfriend was crying, and he wanted to make her feel better. But how could he do that when he didn't even know what was wrong?
"Um...what?" He felt stupid for asking 'what', but he didn't know what else to do.
Ophelia looked completely, and utterly defeated as she looked at him.
She had been dreading this conversation for days, ever since she realized something was wrong. She was terrified of the conversation. But as she looked at him, she realized there was no fear when it came to telling him. She trusted him with her words completely.
"I'm late for my period."
Montgomery's mouth dropped open, and his whole face seemed to freeze in a shocked expression.
Ophelia cringed. "I'm so sorry, Monty."
He looked away, and tried to force his face into a more neutral expression. But he couldn't.
This had never happened to him before. He had never been with a girl long enough for her to even noticed if she missed a period. And if she did, the girls that came before Ophelia were never with just him, so there was no way of telling who would be the father if they were to get pregnant.
But Ophelia being pregnant? That would he his kid. No denying it, no skipping out on it. His kid.
Montgomery realized, tragically, that he would be such a terrible father. Like his own.
"You think it's because of the birth control?" he mumbled, still looking away from her.
By birth control, he meant lack of. She wasn't on birth control at this time, because she was terrified of her parent's finding it. Or worse, her tattle tale sister.
So when Montgomery and Ophelia had sex, they would use condoms, or he would pull out. It hadn't been an issue for him before. It clearly was now.
"I'm sorry," she whispered again. She felt so stupid, and so irresponsible.
Finally, Montgomery turned back to her. "No, shit, it's um, it's okay. It could have been me, we don't know." He knew that the pulling out method was risky, and a few times he wasn't sure he had done it quick enough. He cursed again.
Ophelia gulped. "I was wondering if you could take me to the atm," she asked. "I-I could take some cash out, and we could buy a Plan B?"
Ophelia wasn't sure how Plan B worked. Neither of them did. They just knew that's what you took after sex.
"How long after sex can you take one?" he asked. If she was pregnant, would they be a few weeks along already? Would it even work?
"I don't know," Ophelia admitted, biting her lip. "I thought we could try it."
Montgomery let out a long, stressed breath. "Yeah. We could try it. If you want to."
Ophelia frowned. "Do you not want me to?"
"No, I do," he said, quickly. "Fuck, I just mean, I'm not forcing you, okay?"
He knew some boys forced that decision. One of the older boys on his team spoke about that before. He tricked his girlfriend into taking Plan B's because he thought she was poking holes in their condoms so she could trap him.
"I know," Ophelia assured him. "I think I need to."
Montgomery nodded again. "Okay. We'll go get one."
His head was spinning as he pulled back onto the street. Plan B. Okay. That could work.
He wouldn't have to be a shitty father. Not yet, at least. Montgomery looked over and saw Ophelia's hands were shaking. She wasn't crying anymore, but still sniffling.
He reached over and grabbed her hand. At a stoplight, he gazed at her for a moment. He realized he would be a terrible father, but she would be such a great mother. She took care of him, after all.
When they got to the atm, Ophelia hopped out, and came back with no money. She seemed frazzled again.
"What the fuck?" he asked, softly.
Her teeth were clenched together. "It ate my card. My mom must have changed the pin again. She-She never tells me."
"Shit," he mumbled. "Do you have the credit card?"
"I can't put it on there," she told him. "She'd see it on the history."
Montgomery bit his lip. "Shit, fuck. That's okay. That's alright." He took a deep breath. "I've got cash, okay? I've been getting paid cash so we can go, and I'll buy it."
Ophelia said, "No, you shouldn't have to."
"It's okay," he assured her. He felt responsible too.
They drove three towns over. It took half a school day for them to get there, but it was alright with Ophelia. She just didn't want to risk anyone seeing them. They ended up at a superstore.
"I can go in alone," Montgomery offered.
Ophelia felt terrible to send him in by himself, but she agreed. She would be too humiliated to go.
So Montgomery went inside the store, and Ophelia waited in the car. She was nervous, and was biting her nails, and fidgeting the entire time.
Montgomery came back after twenty minutes with a small bag.
His face was white, and worried. And before Ophelia could get out a single word he told her, devastated, "I'm sorry, Ophelia. I couldn't get one."
Ophelia felt panic in her heart. "What?"
She wondered if they IDed him. Did you have to be eighteen?
Montgomery was the one humiliated now when he admitted, "They were too much. I didn't have enough money."
"Oh..." Ophelia felt guilty, like she embarrassed him because of it. She would have apologized again if she hadn't been fixated on the bag in his hand. "What...did you get?"
Montgomery pulled out a small box with three pregnancy tests inside them. She paled now.
"At least I could afford them," he mumbled. "And if they're negative, we don't have to worry, right? They can't all be wrong?"
Ophelia had absolutely no idea. She had never seen an actual pregnancy test before.
"What if it's positive?" she asked him.
Montgomery let out a deep breath.
"We'll worry about that after."
Ophelia told Montgomery strictly those tests could never be in her house, or else she was sure they would be found.
So he drove her to a public restroom a few more miles away. Luckily, since it was in the middle of a work day, no other vehicles were there.
They sat in the car for almost ten minutes trying to figure the test out.
"Two lines is pregnant," Montgomery told her.
She bit her lip. "Yeah, but what if I pee too much, would that affect the result? Like, would it cause the color to run?"
Montgomery looked at the box. "Fuck, it doesn't say how much pee it wants. You would think it would have an ounces requirement."
"I don't know how much pee I have right now," Ophelia confessed. "I hope it's enough."
"Just pee all over it," Montgomery told her. "Why not?"
Ophelia took the box from him, and put it under her shirt.
He frowned. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"There might be cameras," she mumbled. "I don't want them to see."
He sighed again. "Okay. Are you ready?"
No. "Yes."
Montgomery hopped out, and opened her door, walking her to the door if the restroom. It was a single person restroom. So he waited outside, leaning on the door as she shut and locked it behind her.
Normally, Ophelia would complain about being at a place so public and gross. She didn't now, so Montgomery realized how much she was worried.
Montgomery realized he was a reason to worry. Who would want to have a child with someone like him? Who would ever want to bring more additions to his fucked up family?
Not that his kid would be fucked up. It couldn't be, because it would also be Ophelia's. Montgomery realized if him and Ophelia ever did have children, it would be the best thing to ever happen to his family. To their family.
If she was pregnant, how would his parents react? Yell at him? Call him an idiot? They do that anyway.
But if she was pregnant, he would have a new family, a better family. All Montgomery ever wanted was a family that loved him completely. He could have that with Ophelia.
Suddenly, that was all Montgomery wanted. To create the kind of family he always dreamed about.
Montgomery suddenly turned and knocked on the door.
"O?"
She didn't answer. But it didn't surprise him. She was definitely stressed.
"...You know...it wouldn't be that bad if it was positive..."
Still, no answer.
"I mean, you getting pregnant...I don't think we'd have to be upset about it. I think-I think it would be okay."
They were young, far too young to start their own lives. But in nine months, if the baby was born, he would almost be eighteen, maybe it would be easier.
He could pick up more shift's at his dad's work. He could save every dollar he got. He would quit his sports teams so he had more time to work. He would save enough so that Ophelia wouldn't have to work unless she wanted to, and she could still go to college. Maybe community college for a few years first, but he figured by the time she graduated he would find a second job, and could afford to send Ophelia to a university.
This is, of course, if her parents disown her and stop allowing her their money.
Montgomery didn't think he would care if his own parents disowned him. With Ophelia and their own family by his side, he didn't think he would care at all.
"If you're pregnant...I wouldn't leave. I'd stay. I'd want to stay. I'd want to be with you. I think it'd be-"
The door opened abruptly. Ophelia stood in front of him, tearful again.
"I'm sorry for dragging you out here, Monty," she told him. Her tears were from embarrassment, not sadness. "We can go home."
"Wait, what the fuck did it say?" he asked, "Can I see it?"
Ophelia gulped. "I-I didn't take them."
He frowned. "Why not?"
Ophelia huffed. "I'm not pregnant. I-I was stupid. When I pulled my pants down I realized I...I started my period. Today. I guess I was just a little late."
Montgomery's face fell. "Oh, okay."
"I'm sorry," she said again.
"Don't be," he muttered. His voice was abrupt now. "That's good, right?"
She barely nodded.
He saw her empty hands.
"Did you want to...keep the tests? In case we need them again?" Montgomery couldn't help the blimp of hope he felt thinking about her actually taking that test.
She shook her head quickly. "No. We'll be a lot more careful. This won't happen again."
She grabbed them off the sink and handed them to him. "Do you want to return them?" She wondered how much they were.
Montgomery grabbed them from her. His mood suddenly worse. He tossed them away harshly. They hit the ground and the box bent open.
"No, I don't want to fucking return them," he mumbled, before heading bad to his Jeep. He spoke with limited emotion.
He got in quickly, leaving Ophelia standing in the bathroom doorway. He was angry now, for a reason unknown to her. She assumed he was upset for his time being wasted.
She didn't have time to mention she had heard everything he said to her. And she would never forget his supportive words.
O
O
O
Ophelia had looked back on her relationship with Montgomery many times. She hadn't realized until after breaking up with him, that not being pregnant with his child was one of the luckiest things to ever happen to her.
If she had been pregnant all that time ago, she knew she was have been so excited by Montgomery's love for her that she would have kept it. Then she would have been trapped. She would have been trapped with him forever.
Is that how she thought now? Did she see a baby as a form of entrapment?
She told herself no. But at the same time, she felt like she was in an uncontrollable situation, one she couldn't get out of by herself.
"What do you want me to tell him when we get to your house?"
Justin asked Ophelia the question anxiously, but she barely heard it. She sat in the passenger seat of Clay's vehicle, which Justin had full control of.
He sent Clay home over an hour ago. He sent Zach home too, saying that Ophelia needed to stay longer for blood work, and the doctors didn't want him lingering.
The truth was, Ophelia didn't want him lingering. She couldn't think about anything the doctor was telling her, not with knowing Zach sat out in the waiting room, completely unaware of the life changing news.
"Ophelia?" Justin asked, louder. "How are we handling this?"
Ophelia blinked. She didn't take her eyes off the rode in front of her.
"...We?"
Justin shrugged. "I mean, since I know."
Ophelia stared ahead, focused, even more than Justin was.
Justin continued, "Are you going to tell him if your moms home?"
Ophelia gulped. Finally, she drew her eyes off the road, and looked over to her friend. "...I don't know, Justin."
"I can help," he offered. He looked stressed. His eyes widened, and he quickly said, "I mean, I can help tell him! Not, like, I'll help with the baby. I meant help tell him." Justin bit his lip. He then said, quieter, "I would help, though, with the baby."
Ophelia frowned. His words irked her. "The baby?" She held onto a baby? Right at that very moment, one was with her?
"Well, y-yeah." He was nervous when he said, "If you'd be comfortable with me being around 'em. One of my mom's ex-boyfriends had a toddler. I was good with him."
She just stared at him.
Justin began to sweat. "Okay, okay. He hurt his arm once while I was watching him, but just once. It wasn't broken. And I had already told him to get off that fucking counter."
Ophelia suddenly pictured Justin holding onto a baby. It felt weird. Justin was so young. Ophelia realized she was so young. She felt way younger than Justin.
"I mean, if you...want it." Justin spoke so cautiously.
Ophelia was glad he was hesitant. So was she.
She let out a low breath. "Want it?"
Ophelia knew there were options when it came to this. She was in control of what would happen to her, and the baby Justin kept speaking of, and she knew she had control over who ended up finding out about the situation.
Of course, she knew she needed to tell Zach right away. That was most important.
But Ophelia had no idea what to do about anything else.
No. Ophelia didn't want a baby.
Did she?
Of course not. It would mess up her life.
But wasn't her life messed up already?
"Yeah," Justin said. "You think you'll want to keep it?"
Ophelia closed her eyes, trying to imagine herself back at school, back before this news arrived. She imagined being a care free teenager, being irresponsible. Being everything she wouldn't be able to be with a fucking baby.
What could she do with a baby? There'd be no more cheerleading, no more parties.
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open.
"Justin, oh my god!"
Justin looked over at her, now scared. "What?"
Her hand flew over her mouth. "The party. I had a drink at the fucking party."
Her eyes began filling with water as an overwhelming amount of stress filled her.
"The party at Hillcrest?"
He thought of the going away party hosted at Paul's house.
"Oh my god," she breathed. She suddenly clutched her stomach, feeling sick. "You need to pull over."
His eyes widened. "Wait, really?"
"I think I'm gonna throw up," she confessed.
Justin wasn't as worried as her, because he figured Clay could just clean the car. But she was looking panicked again, just like at school before she passed out.
"Okay, there's a parking lot," Justin told her. He pointed just ahead.
He turned in, and she opened the car immediately. She took on step out of the car, and threw up on the pavement.
Justin cringed.
She had hunched over, and she stumbled on the pavement.
When she eventually sat back down, and closed the car door, she hugged her body with her hands.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Justin told her quickly.
"I had alcohol," she whispered. "While pregnant."
"What did you have? Just wine, right?"
Ophelia just nodded. She felt so, so horrible.
"I don't think that would do anything," Justin told her. "I mean, I thought pregnant woman could have a glass every now and then."
Ophelia just shook her head. "No...No, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Holy shit."
Ophelia wasn't even close to being a mother. But she felt like she had failed that task already.
"No, I swear I've heard that," Justin told her. "And not from my mom-my real mom-don't worry."
Ophelia was disbelieving. She felt absolutely dreadful. "Alcohol is fatal, Justin. I could have a fucking miscarriage."
"The doctor checked and said everything was fine," he told her. "If it makes you feel better, we could call back and ask about it."
Ophelia shook her head, and looked ahead again. "No! I just-I just want to go home."
Justin let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Okay, we'll get you home."
Ophelia slumped back into her seat.
As they continued on their way, Justin became bold enough to ask, "So, since you're so worried, does that mean you want to keep it?"
Ophelia grimaced, and leaned further into the passenger seat. "No. I mean, I don't know. Even if I don't keep it, I don't want to hurt it."
Did that even make sense?
Justin just nodded. "No one would think you would want to hurt it, O."
Ophelia wrapped her arms around her upper body, hugging herself. "Do you think other people will think I want it?"
Justin shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. I guess I kind of, you know, thought maybe you'd keep it. I wasn't sure, but you have a good family, and a lot of money. If you wanted to keep it, I don't think you'd struggle. You could hire a nanny for when you go to college and everything."
Ophelia would have laughed if she wasn't so scared. "I'm struggling already, Justin. And, my family, they'll kill me if they find out. My dad would fly home just to do it. My mom...oh my god I can't even imagine telling her."
Ophelia squeezed her eyes shut, oncoming anxiousness arriving from thinking of that conversation between her and her mother.
"You could move out," Justin suggested. "I'm sure Zach would marry you, and you wouldn't have to deal with them."
Ophelia opened her eyes, and felt herself frowning. "I don't want to marry someone just because I'm pregnant. What kind of marriage would that be?"
Justin just said, "Come on, you know he wants to marry you anyways."
Ophelia figured that was true. But she didn't want to rush him into that decision. What if he ended up regretting it?
"I don't want to hire a nanny," Ophelia decided suddenly. "I would want to be the one with them. I don't want to leave them with a stranger." Ophelia had been left with so many strangers.
Ophelia continued thinking of all the possibilities of what that meant.
"And that would mean I wouldn't be able to go to college like I want. And I won't be able to find a career as early as I wanted. And maybe I'll end up like my mom, you know? She started her career right when I started preschool, so I never saw her. And, honestly Justin, that fucking sucked."
Justin's heart ached with her stress and lack of confidence in the future. He told her, honestly, "I understand if you don't want to have a kid this early, Ophelia. I do. But don't make the decision because you think you'd be a bad mom. You'd be a fucking great one."
Justin spoke so matter-a-factly that it almost swayed Ophelia's decision on that subject. But how could he know? What if Ophelia was an even worse disappointment than she imagined?
"I'm not even eighteen for another two months," Ophelia breathed. "Do I even have any other options? If I did want to...get an abortion, I wouldn't want to tell my parents. At all. Would I even be allowed to get one? Or would I have to wait?"
Ophelia didn't want to have to wait for her baby to grow before getting an abortion. Honestly, she was scared of how that time might affect her emotions towards it.
Justin seemed to hesitate. "You wouldn't have to tell anyone. I've...well, actually, Zach's been through the process, kind of."
Ophelia felt a pang of betrayal thinking of Zach at the abortion clinic with Chloe. She didn't know why she felt so upset at the thought. He was helping her go through something so painful. Yet, she didn't like thinking about him comforting her in that way.
Ending a pregnancy seemed like such an private thing to her. And Zach and Chloe had shared that.
But, thinking past that, Ophelia caught onto Justin's slip up of words.
"Have you been to one Justin?"
Justin gripped his wheel a little tighter. "Yeah. I have. Um, it sounds fucked, but it was actually freshmen year. I was with this sophomore, and I was trying to act a bit more mature, ya know? And I always thought older guys didn't have to use condoms, they just pulled out, so that's what I was doing."
Ophelia listened, intently. Her pregnancy scare with Montgomery flashing in her mind.
"It didn't work. I guess a lot of the time that doesn't work. And she got pregnant, and she had me take her. I guess it wasn't her first time there, so I didn't have to do anything but wait."
Ophelia wondered if that's why he was so adamant about knowing her choice.
"Did it bother you?" she asked him.
"No," he told her, quickly. "That kid would've fucking hated both of us. And I wasn't even sure if it was mine. I think she made the right decision."
Ophelia bit her lip. A lot of people seemed to think that was the right decision for a high schooler.
"But that was the right decision for her," Justin continued. "She obviously wouldn't have been a good mom. Or, maybe she would've. She just didn't want to be. But you could be. Even if you don't want this baby, if you have one in the future, you will be."
Ophelia felt embarrassed by his complimenting. And she felt undeserving of it. Very, very undeserving of it.
"I can't even be a good friend," Ophelia said, suddenly. "My last best friend killed herself. And I was one of the reasons why-"
"Fuck that," Justin told her. They got to a stoplight, so he looked at her, dead serious. "What Hannah said about you was fucked up. You shouldn't have been a reason, Monty should have. When I got your tape, I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at him. Everyone was! That should have been his tape."
When the light turned green, Justin accelerated so quickly Ophelia was slightly jolted in her seat. Justin slowed down when he noticed this.
"I've done so much damage in my life, but those fucking tapes did more. I don't forgive Hannah for what she did to you, alright? I'm glad things got out, and I'm glad it ended with you leaving Monty. But you didn't deserve that guilt. Most of those people didn't deserve that guilt."
Justin let out an aggravated breath. He glanced over at Ophelia, and felt himself tense up. "Oh shit, I'm sorry."
He said this because he noticed Ophelia had begun crying. But she wasn't sad, she was thankful.
She wiped her eyes, and let out a small, pitiful laugh. "No, no. It's okay." Her eyes were left red and puffy. "It's just...nice to hear someone say something like that. The night I heard my tape was one of the worst of my life. I hated myself and...I thought everyone else would hate me too."
Justin spoke with a soft tone.
"Who could hate you, O?"
Ophelia gulped.
"I thought a lot of people did."
Justin shook his head. "Not that I've heard. No way I'd let someone talk about my wife like that."
She managed a small laugh, which he echoed.
She thought about Zach and Chloe. She thought about them visiting an abortion clinic.
Ophelia wondered what Zach would think. What if he wanted her to have an abortion since he had seen how easy it was for Chloe? Was it easy for Chloe?
She knew Zach did want to be with her, and she figured they would be parents one day. But now? Would he want that now? Ophelia didn't even think she wanted it now, how could she expect Zach to?
"What if Zach doesn't want it?" Ophelia asked aloud, suddenly. "I don't think it'd be right to keep it if he doesn't."
Justin scoffed. "Don't worry about it, okay? Zach's a gentlemen. He'll be happy with whatever you decide." He then smiled to himself. "Not quite a gentlemen since he got you knocked up."
Knocked up.
Ophelia was knocked up.
She sighed, deeply.
Why did her life keep getting worse and worse?
O
O
O
"Do you have any idea how worried I was? No one even called me. Zach didn't tell me until he came over!"
Ophelia's mother shouted at her in the living room. Ophelia was seated on the couch, Zach next to her, holding her.
"You fell unconscious!" Her mother screamed. "Why was I not the first one to know?"
She arrived at home almost ten minutes ago, Justin with her. He had wanted to leave Ophelia and Zach alone to talk, but was surprised her mother came home so quickly.
Justin stood by the edge of the couch, chewing on his nails, nervous for Ophelia.
Her mother was yelling like crazy.
"I'm sorry," Ophelia breathed. "But I was unconscious. I couldn't call anyone."
"So what did they tell you?" her mother demanded. "Exactly. What did they tell you exactly?"
Ophelia leaned further into Zach's grip. "They said I was exhausted. And I needed rest."
"All you do is rest," her mother quipped. "I-I can't believe this." She looked at Zach. "Where were you? You weren't with her?"
Zach shook his head. "No, I'm sorry."
"My daughter was unconscious and alone," her mother said, angrily. "You are her boyfriend. You are always together. Why were you not there today?"
Zach cringed. "I was on the football field."
Her mother scoffed, and pointed at Justin. "But this boy was there? You let her go unconscious with this stranger?"
Justin felt offended by her words. And not only because he had met her mother multiple times before and still was being called a stranger.
"I looked out for her," Justin piped up, crossing his arms.
His words fell on deaf ears.
Her mother ran a hand over her face, like the situation stressed her. Her voice became less loud and more agitated when she said. "I don't understand this, Ophelia. I don't understand. Why haven't you been resting? All you do is sleep and eat."
Ophelia felt herself becoming embarrassed being scolded like this in front of both boys.
"The doctor said it was mental exhaustion," she tried to explain.
"I've been watching your grades," she scolded. "They're down from when you were at Hillcrest. What could possibly make you so mentally exhausted?"
Zach held her tighter, and gave her a reassuring squeeze.
Her mother huffed, "You can't possibly-"
"She's been going through a lot!" Justin suddenly spoke up loudly from the side.
Everyone's eyes snapped to him, shocked.
He seemed to shrink down at the attention. He lowered his voice. "I mean, she's had to adjust to changing schools twice this year."
Ophelia's mother frowned at him. "And you are blaming this on me?"
Justin's eyes widened, confused. "What? I didn't blame it on you. I'm just saying there's no reason to be yelling at her!"
Her mother pointed to the door. "Why don't you just get out of here?"
He scoffed, and asked, "Are you serious?"
Zach looked over. "We'll see you tomorrow Justin, okay?"
He threw his hands in the air. "Fine. I'll fucking leave."
Ophelia's mother began complaining about his foul language in Mandarin.
Ophelia stood up quickly, and walked him to the door, catching him before he left.
"Hey, Justin."
He turned, assuming she was mad at him too.
But Ophelia just said, "Thank you."
She looked back, and made sure Zach and her mother were still in the living room. She turned back to Justin with a low voice.
"...Sweetie."
O
O
O
"I wish she was nicer to you," Zach told Ophelia, still holding her close. Her mother had gone upstairs hours ago. They sat embraced.
"She was for a while," Ophelia admitted. "After the trial and everything. And then she found out about me going with Estella to Montgomery's house. She hasn't been the same since then. She just doesn't trust me anymore."
Zach sighed. He said to her, "I'm sorry."
Ophelia looked down at her lap, and began fumbling with her hands.
The whole time her mother was yelling, all Ophelia could think about was how much of a disappointment of a daughter she was sometimes. How could she expect to not be a disappointment of a mother too?
"You didn't do anything wrong," Zach told her. "She's just worried is all."
Ophelia wasn't sure that was it.
"I'm really worried about you," he continued. "What else did the doctor say? It's just exhaustion?"
Ophelia felt her breath catch in her throat.
No, it wasn't just exhaustion. She was pregnant. Pregnant. And she felt so stupid for letting it happen.
"It'd make sense," Zach spoke up again. "You've seemed so upset at school and everything."
And Zach figured she had been so upset at him, and he felt responsible for her.
"Did he recommended you any medicine?"
Ophelia shook her head. "No. Just rest. Um, tea?"
Zach stood up. "How about I make you some?"
Ophelia said quickly, "You don't have to make me tea, Zach."
"I want to," he told her. "Why don't you lay down?"
He kneeled and took her shoes off for her. And as she laid down, he grabbed a blanket from the edge of the couch, and placed it over her.
She felt warm, and safe.
"Close your eyes," he told her. "I'll be right back."
Ophelia couldn't help smiling as she heard him stepping around her kitchen, making her something to feel better.
He would be a good father.
Someday.
But now?
It felt to Ophelia that he was barely leaving the immature high school years and just starting to become the great man she knew he could be one day.
And Ophelia knew he was going to be such a great man. Would having a child ruin that? Would she set him back in life?
Ophelia wanted nothing more than to tell Zach that she was pregnant, and to ask him what to do. He was the one with the experience of handling a pregnancy because of Chloe. He could know the best option.
If she just told him, wouldn't he be able to tell her what to do?
She shook her head, silently.
No.
She couldn't.
Not yet.
O
O
O
"Do you want to come with me to HO at lunch?"
Ophelia hesitated.
Estella was looking Ophelia up and down, as if she was inspecting her.
"I'm staying in my English class for lunch," she explained to her. "I have to get the assignments I missed."
Ophelia took a day off after she fell unconscious. Her mother had her stay in her room, resting. She didn't even let Zach over.
Ophelia was kind of glad. It gave her more time to think.
Ophelia spent the entire day thinking of one thing: her pregnancy.
Could she call it a pregnancy? Yes, of course, she was pregnant. But at the same time, she hadn't even agreed to it yet. Not that it was something to agree to. It's just something that happened.
Zach deserved to know already. But she was too scared to tell him.
Justin called her, and asked if she needed help with anything. She didn't know what to say. She just wanted space. And she wished she hadn't gone to the hospital, and that she never learned she was pregnant.
Everything was different now. Even just sitting in class. She wasn't able to think of anything, other than the fact there was something living in her stomach.
Something that was a part of her, and a part of Zach.
"Because of what happened?" Estella asked. She had heard about the incident from Montgomery.
Ophelia nodded. "I'm fallen behind on my grades fsince I came back."
Estella sighed, and nodded. She looked behind her, before looking back. "So, did they say everything was alright with you?"
"Exhaustion," she explained, as she had to so many people. "It's never happened before. I guess I've been stressed."
"I'm sorry," Estella apologized.
She looked behind her one more time, and this time Ophelia looked behind her as well, and realized who she was looking at.
Montgomery was down the hall, and pretending to look into his locker, but was clearly watching them carefully.
Ophelia blinked, shocked. "Did he send you over here?"
Estella sighed, and shook her head. "Don't be mad, I've been wanting to talk to you. But...Monty's been really worried. You're all he's been talking about since you went to the hospital."
Did Estella even know why she went to the hospital? Because she collapsed due to the stress that he caused?
Ophelia doubted he was even worried about her, rather worried about whether she really told Clay what happened between them.
"You can tell him I'm fine," Ophelia said, quietly.
Estella looked nervous. "He wanted me to ask you..." She sighed. "These are his words, not mine..."
Ophelia stood, waiting.
"He wanted me to ask if...your boyfriend...stood up to your...b word of a mom for you."
Ophelia's eyes widened, and she became angry. "Excuse me? Tell him that's not even his business."
And her boyfriend hadn't. Her 'husband' had.
Estella looked away, guilty. She decided to change the subject. "I went to one HO meeting alone. Jessica David asked about you."
"Asked what?"
She began to simmer down.
"Just if you were coming back. If you wanted to speak to any of the girls. Something like that."
"Speak to the girls?" Ophelia huffed. "Is she still on about that dating violence thing?"
Jessica had wanted her to talk about her abusive relationship before. She hadn't wanted to. She still didn't want to.
It was embarrassing, and not something she wanted to bring up to other people. And Jessica should know that. She used to be embarrassed about telling people what Bryce did.
"I don't know," Estella told her. "But I don't like going without you. I know we only went a few times, but-"
"I don't like it," Ophelia admitted. She sighed. "I know it's a good club, and it helps people, but it doesn't help me."
Estella asked, "Why not?"
Ophelia thought about it. She admitted, "I get really sad when I go there."
Because all that club did was remind her that boys could be completely evil when they wanted to.
Montgomery could. Bryce could. Marisa's ex boyfriend, Anthony, could. Every fucking boy at their school could.
And all those boys scared her. She didn't need a club to tell her she needed to be extra scared.
"Did you get a new phone?" Estella asked, desperate to change the topic again.
"Oh, shit, yeah," Ophelia remembered. "I'm sorry, I can give you my new number."
As Ophelia started writing it down for her on a loose piece of paper she paused. "Don't give it to your brother."
"Of course not," Estella promised.
Ophelia handed over the number, and Justin arrived near them. He appeared suddenly, like he had jogged down the hall without her being able to spot him.
Ophelia held two textbooks, and Justin took them out of her hands. "I've got these." He nodded to Estella. "Stella."
Estella smiled at him, curtly. "Um, I'll see you later, Ophelia."
Ophelia was surprised she left so quickly.
Until Justin admitted, "She doesn't like me, you know. Fucking Monty told her I'm one of the people that got you break up with him."
Ophelia was sure that wasn't it.
"No, she's glad I broke up with Montgomery. She likes Zach."
Justin laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure she does."
Ophelia frowned. "No, really. Out of anyone...she knows how bad things were."
Justin sighed. "Yeah, she knows how bad her brother is. But he's still her brother. She still wants him to have a happy ending and shit."
Ophelia blinked. "I'm not a happy ending." She thought about Zach again. "Especially not after what I learned. No teenager hopes for this. I'm the worst case scenario when it comes to high school love life."
A teen pregnancy. She hated even thinking of that phrase.
Justin cringed. "You're being too hard on yourself. You should've told Zach, he could've calmed you the fuck down."
She looked at him suspiciously. "How do you know I didn't tell him?"
He shrugged. "It wasn't hard to figure out. He was acting totally normal during practice. You can't really be normal after learning something like that. I can't even be normal. I've been dodging Jess like fucking crazy because she'd know something was up with me."
Ophelia became worried. Maybe Jessica did suspect something, and that's why she had been asking about her. "Well don't tell her!"
"I won't!" Justin then groaned. "But she's a fucking girl! They're so good at figuring shit like that out."
"She wouldn't guess that," Ophelia insisted. Would she?
Justin huffed. "I won't, okay? But you gotta figure out a way to tell Zach. It's driving me fucking crazy not saying anything."
Ophelia told him, "I-I can't. I don't even know where to start." She suddenly got an idea. "What if you help me tell him?"
He frowned. "How the fuck could I do that?"
Ophelia thought for a moment. She then asked in a quieter voice, "Don't boys talk about sex in the locker room? What if you say something, like, 'what would you do if Ophelia got pregnant?' Make a game out of it or something. See what he would really think of it happening."
"A game?" Justin asked.
"Something like that," she continued. "Boys talk about me crudely all the time. Can't I use that to my advantage for once?"
"What if he gets suspicious?"
"That's what I'm hoping for," Ophelia admitted. "Instead of having to think of ways to bring it up, maybe he'll get suspicious and ask me 'are you pregnant?' Then all I'll have to say is 'yes'."
Justin stopped for a moment, and thought about what she said. He admitted, "Actually...that's pretty fucking smart."
"Yeah, I'm smart," she agreed.
"And you want me to do this today?"
"Yes," she insisted. "Please, do not let me go home again dreading telling him. Make sure I tell him today."
Justin laughed, and for a moment, she felt less nervous.
"I'll do this for you," Justin told her. "In exchange for one thing."
Ophelia was surprised he asked for a favor. But she was happy to give him one after everything he had done, and would do for her.
"Anything."
O
O
O
"Zachary...Zach attack...big man Zach..."
Zach frowned, and looked over at Justin. "Huh?"
Zach had been sitting on the bench at the end of the locker room, watching boys run out, staying in to make sure none of them goofed off. Justin came up to him, weirdly.
Justin patted his shoulder, and sat next to him.
"Ophelia all good?"
Zach said, "Oh. Yeah, she says she is. I'm still worried though." Zach patted him on the back. "Thanks for being there, man. I really appreciate it."
"Of course," Justin told him. He found himself gripping the bench, nervously. "She's probably been really tired, right?"
Zach thought about it. "I guess. Not too tired. I've been trying to make her get more rest anyways though."
Justin felt happy hearing how worried Zach was. He knew he'd be supportive of her.
Justin nodded, like he understood. "Makes sense, makes sense. It must suck though, since, you know, you guys probably can't, um, fuck or anything right now."
Justin cringed. He sounded fucking stupid. But he had to stay in topic.
Zach was taken aback. "What?" His voice suddenly loud, and offended.
"Just because she's so tired," Justin said quickly.
Zach cringed. "What the fuck makes you think I care about not doing that?"
Zach also felt guilty, because he had wondered how long it would be until she wanted to be with him again. Not that he would ever ask her. And not that it was too big of a deal to him. He just felt awkward leaving the last time they were sexually together being the time she...threw up on him.
"No reason!" Justin spoke fast. "Just...you guys were doing that shit, what, every night? Is it weird not doing it?"
"No," Zach told him. He hesitated. "I mean, maybe it'll take some getting used to. But we've only been having sex a couple months now."
Justin tried to hide his smile. What were the odds?
"You must have been going at her like crazy."
"Justin, what the fuck?"
"Sorry," he apologized. "But, just make sure you guys use protection, alright?"
Zach's eyes widened. "We use protection! Every time. Now, will you knock it off, you're creeping me out."
Zach shoved Justin off the bench slightly, forcing him to his feet.
"Hey, hey. I'm just making sure you don't have any teen pregnancies," Justin tried to bring up, casually.
Zach rolled his eyes. "Don't you worry about that, Justin."
Justin bit his lip. He figured it was now or never. "What would you even do if that happened?"
Zach seemed annoyed now. "Justin, why are we talking about my sex life?"
Justin scoffed. He was fine talking about it just a week before with the whole team. Justin guessed he liked bragging about it, but not being embarrassed by it.
"I was just wondering. I mean, someone told me about what happened with you and Chloe. You would probably just do the same thing with Ophelia, right?"
Zach flinched, as if he was hurt by the words. "W-Who told you that?"
Shit. Was Justin not supposed to know?
He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything at all. He just stood there, silent, looking stupid.
Zach sighed, eventually. "No, of course I wouldn't do that with Ophelia. I...I didn't want Chloe to have to do that either. I offered to help her keep it, financially, since I'm the one that got her involved with Bryce in the first place. But she said she didn't want it. That's when abortion came up. I didn't suggest it, if that's what you were told."
Zach assumed Ani and Clay had divulged the information.
Zach continued, "Chloe wanted to do it, but...she told me she thinks about it everyday. Even though it was the right decision she thinks about it everyday. I wouldn't want Ophelia to have to go through that. When she gets pregnant, I don't want it to be a tough decision. I want us to be ready, and I want us to want it. That's why I've been so careful, with protection and everything, I don't want to risk any mistakes."
Zach spoke like he felt upset just thinking about the possibility of Ophelia becoming pregnant. He looked so sad, thinking back to his past interaction with Chloe.
Justin didn't think his ex-girlfriend ever thought of the decisions she made. Then again, Ophelia was more like Chloe than his ex-girlfriend.
Justin really didn't want to press Zach anymore, because he seemed so uncomfortable with the topic. But his answer hadn't helped Justin at all.
So Justin took a deep breath and asked, "But if she did get pregnant now, you would want her to keep it?"
Zach's face became more depressed. "If it happened now? I guess."
Shit. That wasn't the answer he wanted. "You guess?"
"What do you want me to say, Justin?" Zach groaned. "I would want her to, okay? I would. But I know it's a lot easier for me to be a teen dad than for her to be a teen mom. She's the one that has to actually have it."
Justin felt himself lighten up. "So you would want it. Okay. That's good."
"Of course I would." Zach eyes him suspiciously. "What's going on?" His eyes widened. "Wait, did you get Jess pregnant?"
Justin almost snorted. "What? No! I didn't get Jess pregnant?"
"Then why are you asking about pregnancy?" Zach asked. "Something's going on. Oh shit, did Clay get Ani pregnant?"
"Ew, no!" Justin told him. "Listen, fuck, it's nothing, okay? I just wanted your opinion, ya know? Since you have, kind of, abortion experience."
Zach glared at him. "I don't have abortion experience, Justin."
"Okay, okay." Justin because irritated at Zach's lack of pick-up. "It's just good that you have a plan in case Ophelia gets pregnant. Or if she was pregnant now. It's good that you have a plan in case she was pregnant now."
Zach still did not catch on. "Okay? Why don't you just run out to practice?"
Justin groaned. "Jesus fucking Christ, man."
"What?"
"Are you sure you always use protection?" He didn't know how else to bring it up.
"Yes. Always," Zach told him. He pleaded, "Please just get to the field."
Justin groaned. "Fine, fine."
Justin stepped out of the locker room.
"Fucking hell..." he mumbled. At least he got something to tell Ophelia.
Justin didn't go to the field. Instead, he rounded the locker room, to the spot Ophelia told him she would be waiting once he finished speaking with Zach.
Justin barely rounded the corner, and became furious at what he saw.
"Are you fucking kidding kidding me?"
Montgomery was talking to Ophelia.
Justin had no idea how he got to her, because he swore he saw him heading to the field already.
Montgomery was close to Ophelia. Extremely close. And he was saying something to her, something that gave her a horrified expression.
"What the fucks going on?!" Justin yelled, jogging over to them suddenly.
Montgomery was trying to shove something into Ophelia's hands. She was refusing it, and shaking her head, seeming panicked.
"Hey, what the fuck?" Justin yelled. He grabbed Montgomery's shoulder, and pulled him away. "I told you to stay the fuck away from her!"
Montgomery shoved him off. "I was just fucking checking if she was okay."
"Bullshit!" Justin seethed. "Get to the fucking field!"
Montgomery's hand was clenched, and Justin couldn't tell what was in it.
"Fuck you, Justin," he said, simply. He looked at Ophelia. "Just remember that," he spat, before he finally did leave for the field.
Justin looked at Ophelia, angry. "What the hell were you doing talking to him? Did he touch you?"
Ophelia shook her head quickly.
She was visibly shaking. Justin didn't believe her.
"Did he do anything?"
Ophelia just kept saying 'no'.
Finally, she spoke up and told him, "Justin...I changed my mind. I-I can't tell Zach. I can't."
Justin regretted leading her to panic. "I told you, I can help you. I can tell him for you, if you want."
"No!" she said, quickly. "He can't know. I-I can't..."
But Justin didn't listen. He already promised he would force her to get it over with today.
Justin spotted Zach barely exiting the locker room. He held up a finger. "Hold that thought. Let me grab him, okay? We can do it together."
"W-What?" She panicked. "No!"
But Justin had ran the few feet to grab her boyfriend, and point back at her. They returned quickly.
"Hey, Ophelia." Her boyfriend smiled, handsomely. "What's up?"
Nothing was wrong to Zach. Everything was normal. She wanted to leave him thinking that forever.
Ophelia suddenly froze.
Justin noticed her hesitation, and he spoke first.
"We were talking about her going to the hospital," he put in.
Zach nodded. "Yeah. It was fucking scary."
Ophelia took a subconscious step away. They all noticed.
Justin risked saying, "Yeah, for a lot of reasons."
Zach hesitated, noticing Ophelia looking panicked.
He wished she would calm down. She would only make herself pass onto again. What was she even nervous about?
Justin placed a hand on the small of Ophelia's back, and gently pushed her more towards Zach.
"Why don't you two head home?" he suggested. "I'll tell coach you're taking care of her?"
"I need to go home anyways," Ophelia suddenly sputtered. "And I have to rest. I'm not supposed to have visitors today."
"Yeah, of course," Zach agreed, "You should go rest."
Ophelia felt grateful. She took a step back, but Justin spoke up again, this time more desperate, "Ophelia, you need to tell him."
She cursed herself, and the fact she had told him needed to tell him that specific day.
"I changed my mind," she whispered to him.
Justin realized suddenly, that Montgomery must have said something to change her mind. What could he possibly have said?
Zach heard her whispers.
"Changed your mind about what?" he questioned. He looked at Justin. "Tell me what?"
Ophelia wondered if it would look realistic if she pretended to pass out. Maybe it would at least get her out of this situation.
But she didn't want to fall, and hurt herself. Or hurt the living thing inside her. No matter if she kept it or not, she knew she didn't want to hurt it.
"Ophelia, just tell him," Justin urged again. "He-He has to know, okay?"
But things were different now. They were completely different now. Because of Montgomery.
"What is it?" Zach questioned.
Now, he was the one worried.
What could Justin know that he didn't?
His mind instantly went to their conversation in the locker room.
Justin had kept bringing up pregnancy, and protection.
Zach's eye widened as he wondered, suddenly, if there was an actual reason for the questioning.
Was Ophelia...pregnant?
No, she couldn't be. She didn't look pregnant at all. And if she had been, she would have told him sooner, right?
There was no way. They had been so careful.
Justin told Ophelia, "He'll find out eventually. Just tell him."
Zach figured there was no way he could've gotten Ophelia pregnant. But he kept expecting to hear it.
He kept expecting Ophelia to just open her mouth and say "I'm pregnant".
But she didn't. She said something much, much worse.
"I...I cheated on you."
Zach felt his heart stop beating, and felt his voice leave painfully through his throat, leaving a trail of burning pain. The pain tried to bring tears at the sudden, blunt statement. But he refused to allow any tears through. He refused to even believe what she said.
Justin's mouth fell open.
"What the f..." Zach could hardly speak. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Zach wasn't the only on who felt like he would cry. Ophelia already was.
"I'm-I'm sorry-"
"What the fuck does that mean?!"
Ophelia flinched. "We need to break up."
Zach's voice cracked as he suddenly shouted, "What the fuck are you talking about? We-We've not breaking up-"
"We need to," Ophelia said. "I cheated. So-So we shouldn't be together anymore."
Justin just stood there, shocked, unsure what to say or do.
"No! No, we're not breaking up." Zach came closer. His voice completely hoarse. "Just-just make me understand what happened."
There was no way she actually cheated, right? Ophelia couldn't do something like that. Right?
"Ophelia..."
"It was with Montgomery:"
Zach stopped dead in his tracks. Again, his voice left him. This time he couldn't find it back. Not even as they stood in silence for a moment just looking at each other.
Ophelia was the one who broke the eye contact, as she looked away from him.
"..." Zach tried, but he could get anything out.
She was lying. She had to be fucking lying.
"I was with Montgomery on Homecoming night. Just like Clay and Ani thought."
No, Clay and Ani were liars. And Ophelia was liar. She had to be.
She fucking had to be lying.
Justin stood still shocked and confused.
Zach heartbroken and dazed.
Ophelia took a deep breath.
"I slept with him that night."
