So I said very little conflict, and I'm sticking with that. However, I also find it important to show that relationships have an adaptation period, where both partners get to know each other's strengths and more importantly weaknesses, the things about the other person that annoy them, and figure out how to live with them. As Harvey spends most of his time either inside the clinic or at the library and only goes to the pub once a week and then only in winter, I figure him for an introvert, and I have some experience with being an introvert and needing your extraverted SO to give you space and 'me time'. So this seemed like a simple little conflict with a comparatively easy solution to make the whole thing a little more interesting and real than "now they live happily ever after and I'm just going to tell you every second of their challenge-less life".

Some drama with Harvey's family is coming, at some point, a few years after this, but mainly it's gonna be just these two.


13 Spring, Year 4

Too much of a Good Thing

I always take festival days off nowadays. Aside from it not being as necessary for me nowadays to spend entire days working, it's also nice to be with Harvey in a more light-hearted setting. Festival days are a break in the rut of everyday life. So I head to the town square as early as I can.

Pierre is there with his stand, as always, selling strawberry seeds and really nothing else of interest. I don't buy them anymore – I get my seeds from my homegrown strawberries and I have already started harvesting from my plants.

I don't immediately spot Harvey and wonder if he might still be inside. I grab some food from one of the tables – Gus's deviled eggs are to die for, the scotch eggs are amazing, and both of them are a once-a-year thing – and make small talk with a few people while looking for him.

By the time I'm more or less stuffed, I decide to wander away from the tables – he doesn't seem to be near them. If I don't find him on this side of the river I might check inside the clinic.

Finally I spot him sitting on one of the benches past the saloon; I hadn't spotted him before because these are surrounded by bushes from the north side. I go over and take the bench opposite him.

"Getting some peace and quiet?"

"Big crowds, lots of noise... It's not my kind of environment. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Stuffing myself, mainly. And looking for you, to be honest. I daresay most things are more pleasant when you're there."

He does a bit of a strange thing with his face; the corners of his mouth lift a little, but only for a moment, and the smile doesn't reach the rest of his face.

"At least it's not fatty burgers, for once. Eggs actually have a place in the well-balanced diet."

"Whatever you say, doctor."

"I know, I know. Take off the doctor's hat during festivals."

I shrug lightly.

"You do you. But I'm afraid you're not going to stop me from doing me."

"Do I need to remind you of George again?"

"Take my cholesterol, then. Or should I spend a few weeks counting calories? I thought I'd just had my checkup, but if you're not convinced, feel free to shove a needle in me."

I'm not sure why Harvey would suddenly get hung up on my diet again. He's agreed several times by now that I eat well in general and that splurging once a month shouldn't hurt. Why does he always come back to this?

"Maybe I will. Are you planning to participate in the egg hunt?"

"Nope. So if you wanna just go inside and be away from the hubbub, I'll follow."

He doesn't react immediately. His gaze is on the people behind the bushes, and he still looks kinda disgruntled. Finally, he gets up.

"Sounds good."

We go up to his apartment and Harvey grabs a medical magazine from the bookshelf, sits down on the couch and starts reading. I can think of something more interesting to do. I kneel on the floor in front of him and put my hands on his knees, but he doesn't immediately let me pull them apart. He lowers his magazine to look at me, his face annoyed.

"What are you doing?"

"Er... what does it look like?" I try to keep my tone suggestive, seductive, but I'm not sure what's going on so it doesn't exactly end up sounding super secure.

"That's all you ever think about, isn't it."

Perplexed, I let go of him.

"I... have never had the impression that you weren't on board."

"And I actually have to tell you that?"

I stand up, not knowing what to do with myself.

"No. You can also show it. Through body language. But I do need you to give me some kind of sign, I can't... read your mind." I have the impression that phrase is becoming a habit.

"You've never thought that maybe I don't initiate sex because I'm not interested?"

"Well... No, not until now. You always react to my advances in a way that... I interpret as being into it, at least. If you've been giving signs to the contrary then I have missed them. I'm sorry, I never meant to."

"I figured, yes. You're always here and you always want something, but you never seem to pay attention."

"Okay. Hang on."

"When you hug me or kiss me, it's never just a hug or just a kiss, it's always sexual."

"Okay. Please, give me a moment."

"What is it?"

I take a deep breath. This has come out of nowhere, and I don't know how to react, but this needs to be solved – I can't stand fighting with Harvey.

"Can we sit at the table? Please?" It's what my parents have always done – when there was a problem, the first thing to do was sit down at the table. I guess it's easier to talk calmly if you can't walk around. And reach things to throw, possibly.

Without a word, Harvey puts his magazine down. He moves to the table and sits, his hands clasped together in front of him, his face an incarnation of the phrase 'I'm listening'. I sit opposite him.

"I'm sorry. First off. I didn't know you felt this way. I would have liked you to tell me this sooner, so I could have done something about it sooner."

"I shouldn't need to tell you everything."

"No, but right now I need you to, because I cannot read your mind. I don't know you that well yet. I need you to give me time to go through that learning curve, Harvey. I've told you I want to, but I've never been this close, I haven't had a way of learning this before. The kind of married couple dynamic where you give a look and I immediately know everything that's behind it, that stuff takes years to cultivate. I'm trying. So please. If I do something that you don't like, tell me. Immediately. I'm not going to blow it off because it's not important enough and I'm not going to laugh at you. Please don't bottle up these frustrations until you can't hold them anymore. If I missed signals you were giving, I am truly sorry, and I will try to do better. But if you give me a signal that you believe I should understand and it's clear that I don't, please... Tell me. I've told you before, you'll only need to tell me once, but I'll be able to learn way faster and prevent you a lot of frustration this way. Just... please don't get angry with me. This hurts my heart."

I see him glance down at my chest for a moment and that cold expression on his face makes way for worry, just for a moment. I hadn't really intended to call on his doctor side, but it seems mentioning pain can do the trick.

"I... didn't mean to hurt you," he relents. "I just need you to relate to me. You're intelligent. Please use it."

"Of course. In this case I was truly not aware that there was anything I needed to think about. What did you do to try and show me? What is it that I missed?"

"The only sexual encounter between us that I have ever initiated was a week ago when we'd just got back from the city. After we hadn't been able to do anything for a week. Aside from that time, it has always been you."

"Okay. So you want me to never start it? To wait for a sign?"

"You're trying to turn this into a paint-by-numbers game."

"No, I'm trying to prevent future conflicts. I'm getting the impression I just have a higher libido than you, so another question I could ask is how often you normally masturbate."

"What?"

"Come on, Harvey. We are a couple, right? Normally I masturbate once every day, in the shower. I get days where I do it multiple times but that's the average."

Harvey stares at me for a second.

"I hope you drink enough."

If he's going to mention me getting dehydrated, he must consider that a lot.

"So that's my suspicion confirmed. Might I ask about you?"

"Um. Once a week or less."

"Wow. Talk about a mismatch. Um... Which do you prefer?"

"I don't understand what you're –"

"Alone or with me. Which do you prefer?"

Harvey just stares at me again.

"It's one of those things I've heard from my sister. You know, when the sex is lackluster with the other person there, it becomes easier and more pleasurable and just less of a hassle to do it on your own."

"No, it is... better... together. Just... more frequent than I'm comfortable with." His head drops a little. Now we seem to be on the same page, trying to understand what's going on, trying to work toward a common goal.

"Okay. So right now I think the best thing I can do is wait... and see how long it takes? And then... go from there. There has to be a way we can compromise on this."

"Evan, you're... you're here too much. I used to be alone for literally all of the time I didn't spend working, now you're often here waiting for me to finish. I love you and I want to spend time with you, but this much of it is... exhausting. I need time alone, too."

This clicks together with something else in my mind.

"Does this have anything to do with the thing with Penny last winter? About her coming looking for me here? I'm just asking, just in case."

"No, that's something else. Though I do have the impression that anyone in the village would still do the same thing. You told me you spend time with Leah and others but I haven't seen you do it."

"I only want to spend time with you," I sigh. "I'm never happier than when I'm with you. All that serotonin, I guess. It's true, I have been neglecting my other relationships. It's been weeks since I've talked to Demetrius."

I get up and grab my jacket off the back of my chair.

"Okay, well... I'll leave you alone. I'll see you around."

Harvey stands up as well, looking very insecure. I can see that he wants to say something, or do something – he had not expected this and he's not entirely happy with it. Maybe he thinks I'm angry now.

"Can I... kiss you, at least?" I ask. It's not just for the sake of showing goodwill – I really do want to kiss him, I just wasn't expecting him to react positively until I saw that expression on his face.

"Er... Okay..."

I approach him, slower than I would have otherwise, and press my lips to his. I put my arms around him and pull him close, for a few seconds, breathing in his scent.

Then I let go and head toward the door.

"I love you," I tell him again before I turn and close it behind me.

While walking down the stairs, I think about what do to now. Demetrius might not be a bad start. He looks bored anyway, standing with Robin while she chats with Caroline.

"Hey there. Nice party?"

"It's enjoyable enough. The food's good."

"Bit monotone."

"Bit strange, if you think about it. Who came up with the idea of eating eggs?"

I shrug.

"Who came up with the idea of drinking milk?"

"It's the first thing we ever eat," he chuckles. "I take it the farm is doing well?"

"Terrific. One of my hens is all broody, I risk my own fingers every time I try to get the eggs. I'm kinda half tempted to just let her do it, because chicks are cute, but I don't have the space for them when they grow into adults. I'm too much of a softie to be fine with them being turned into meat."

"You know, there's an interesting experiment you can do with fertilized chicken eggs. Given that they are fertilized, that is?"

"I have two roosters and I see them doing their job often enough, I would expect they're fertilized."

"Two roosters? Don't they fight?"

"They're not that kind of breed, and they're brothers. Also they each have their own coop. They tolerate each other."

"Come along for a second."

Demetrius goes ahead and I realize immediately that he's going for Maru, who is watching over Jas and Vincent with Penny.

"Hello, girls," he says.

"Having fun?" I add.

"Oh, hi, Evan. Yeah, I like these festivals. You get a sense of community, you know?"

Well, for the most part. George will grump about anything.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice," I answer. "You don't get stuff like this in the big city. How about you, Penny?"

"Oh, I'm just watching over the kids, really. I'm more at home at the Luau or the Fair."

"I've been telling her the deviled eggs are to die for," Maru comments.

"They are, aren't they? So good," I agree.

"See?" Maru says to Penny.

"I'm just not sure I can stomach them..."

"It's just eggs. With their own yolk and like mayonnaise and mustard... And I think you get vinegar too..."

"There's a dash of cayenne pepper on each one," Maru explains. "I've told her you barely taste it."

"Well, if you don't want them, more for us," I say with a light shrug. "They're really good, but if you don't like something then you don't like it."

"Thanks."

"What I wanted to talk to you about, Maru," Demetrius speaks up. "Do you think you have everything you would need to put together something along the lines of an incubator? For eggs?"

"An incubator? Sure. Is it for Evan?"

"Don't look at me." I hold up my hands to signal innocence. "I just told him I don't have space for any more chickens."

"No, it's for an experiment. I think you'll like it."

"Oh. Yeah, I can do that. Do you need it quickly?"

Demetrius looks at me.

"If it's for my chicken eggs, I don't think there's a time limit. I get fifteen every day, and I do have the expression most of them should be good to go."

"Then how about I just tell you when the incubator is ready? I mean, I see you at least twice a week at the clinic."

"Uh, yeah, sure." I guess I could pop in there Tuesdays and Thursdays to see if she has anything to say.

"I'm getting really curious about what you're planning, though," I say to Demetrius.

"Ah, that's a surprise. But you can look at it, if you want."