Thank you to Team Harpy.
Bella has a right to her anger and she is stubborn. And honestly, he isn't accepting full responsibility for what he's done. But she will listen and he will cop to it. Reconciliation is about eight or nine chapters off still.
Chapter 48
Edward
I walk into the den for breakfast the next morning and say good morning to everyone there. Looks like my parents have already gone for the day.
Riley and Emmett start gyrating on either side of me with their own off-key rendition of Summer of '69 while I good naturedly roll my eyes.
"How did I know that's what you two children would do to me today?" I complain though I'm laughing along with them.
"You know we're just jealous."
"Yeah we're just expressing ourselves in the only infantile way we could think of." Emmett agrees.
"And it shows." I clap them on the back then turn to everyone else. "Did everyone have a good time last night?"
"Oh, yeah, you were a hoot." James laughs.
"A hoot?"
"Yeah, Bon Jovi has nothing on you."
"Except maybe thirty years and Richie Sambora." Victoria chimes in.
"I thought you were delightful, Darling." Grandmother gushes. "I had no idea you became so perky when you sang."
"Perky?" The whole room erupts into laughter.
"Does anyone want to know what I think?"
"I'd like to know." I glare at Emmett. The kissass.
"Where's your common sense? Galavanting around like a man processed with that infernal booming and thumping." He grumbles.
"Ed come on. I was there. You almost enjoyed yourself." To me, she says, "I liked your leather pants. Kinky touch." She winks.
"The very thought of a Cullen putting on such an outrageous public display…"
"What's so strange about that? We do it all the time." Riley points out.
"Don't let Ed fool you. He was as impressed as the rest of us."
"I was surprised. There's a difference, Elizabeth."
"I hope you have this nonsense out of your system. Because it can not happen again. It is hardly appropriate behavior for the CEO of Cullen, Inc."
"Too bad. Because music is and will continue to be a part of my life whether you think it's appropriate or not." I tell him.
"Now that you're a married man and all maybe I could help you fend off some of your groupies." Emmett jokes. I give him a knowing smirk. Rosalie would kill him. Huh… that would solve some of my problems.
"These groupies. What do you do with them?" James asks.
"Stop it. Stop it all of you. Discussing leather pants and groupies at breakfast. I won't have it."
We all mumble an apology. "I won't have you reflecting badly on this family or the company."
"Excuse me. But singing in a rock band is hardly comparable to the various attempted murder charges this family is racking up lately."
With that I decide to go to the cottage. At least there I know to expect opposition. I'm greeted warmly by Alice. There's a dog in a chair next to her.
"Well there he is. The man of the hour."
"I'd like to thank all the little people. I couldn't have done it without them."
"Haha. You know what, you were really great. You really rose to the occasion."
"Thank you."
"It's been a long journey to end up here, hasn't it?" She sighs.
"And through it all, you were right there. My conscience, my moral support, and much more of a friend than I deserved."
"You know what? You're right."
"Have you seen Bella?"
"Not yet. And just remember, no matter what she says, she was blown away."
"You think?"
"Yeah, she had to have been. You were never better."
"Cause I believe if I can convince her that I've reprioritized my life to put music and her first then everything will just fall into place."
The door slamming has us both jumping. "It's a little crowded in here." Bella says.
"I didn't think you'd mind, Jasper had some appointments today to get ready for Austin and Tex looked really lonely…"
"It's not the dog sitting in the chair I'm talking about." She looks pointedly at me.
"Alright, this has gone on long enough. Alice, I'd like a few minutes alone with Bella."
"Stuff it, I'm busy."
"Yes, you are. With me. The artist. I need to speak to my manager. Alice?"
"Edward. Don't boss me around." She moves closer to Bella and they whisper for a few seconds with Bella telling her not to go too far.
"So?" Bella asks once we're alone.
"You went out of your way to set up a very difficult situation for me last night."
"I definitely do not have time to listen to your whining."
"Oh, I'm not. And I didnt whine last night but you tested me and I passed with flying colors. You took my biggest fear, made it a reality and tried to choke me with it. I rose above it. Not only was I good, I was great."
"What do you want Cullen? A gold star for your forehead?"
"I want you to give credit where credit is due. I want you to admit you felt all those old feelings; the thrill of the music, the joy we found within each other- I want you to admit to the potential of us."
"I will admit to that when hell freezes over." She declares.
"Why are you so stubborn?" I yell. "Can't you give me this much?"
"I don't have to give you anything!" She yells back.
"Do you realize how unprofessional you are being?"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm coming to you as your artist, okay? I did a good job. Now I need your praise, your criticism, your guidance. But you're letting your personal feelings get in the way of you handling your talent." She looks abashed and I know this is turning the tables on her but it's the only way to get her to listen to some sort of reason. "Now I think I have proven my commitment to this business we have together. When is it going to be your turn?"
She takes a deep breath. "You want an admission? I'll give you an admission. You got to me last night. I felt all those things you said and more."
"I knew it. This is so great..." I feel so much relief but it's short lived as it usually is these days when it comes to Bella.
"Wait a minute. You wanted to hear this so let me say it."
I indicate for her to speak.
"All that stuff sneaking up on me, see it didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. What it did was make me feel hollow and empty and sadder than I've ever been in my entire life."
"Why?"
"Because it reminded me of how false our so-called life was. Made me remember that everything I thought I had with you was just one big fat lie. See that guy up on that stage last night. I didn't know him. Yes, he had a ton of talent. Took that audience and he held them in the palm of his hand. He even touched my heart. But I could have just been listening to Elton John or somebody like that cause he was just that much of a stranger."
"That guy is me. That same guy you fell in love with. It doesn't matter if you call me by a different name."
"It does matter. It matters to me. Look, you know I've answered our questions to the best of my ability and if they are not satisfactory to you then I'm really sorry. But that's all I can give you right now so please, please, please don't ask me for any more. If you really want to maintain a professional relationship with me then you are going to have to step way back. Give me some room."
I stand there looking at her, begging, pleading.
"You've got to stop it with the puppy dog eyes and the personal appeals. Would you just do your job and let me do mine."
She turns on her heel to leave.
"Wait."
"Later."
"I said wait." I demand.
She turns back to me with her eyebrow raised. Bitch brow is what my mother calls it. Bella definitely has one.
"Are you talking to me?"
"Damn right I am and you're gonna listen."
"I'm gonna keep my cool here and not take umbrage at the way you just spoke to me. Okay? In fact I'm gonna listen to you. But make it quick because it's already been a long day and it's barely started."
"I don't care whether we are fighting or loving each other like the last two people on earth because it's all fun with you Bella. Don't you miss us? I know you do. So, let it go. Just drop it, drop the walls, drop the anger and just give us another chance. We can have it all if you can just find it in your heart to forgive me. I know that what I did to you was wrong and I'm sorry I deceived you but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll just let me. Think about it. That's all I ask."
Slowly I grab my coat and walk out the door. She can't be the only one in this relationship always walking away. Today I guess it's my turn.
**E**
Two days later I have an idea so I drive to BAR before heading to the office.
"Hello Management!"
Alice and Bella are on the couch. Alice smiles and says hi. Bella doesn't acknowledge my presence. One step forward, two steps back it seems.
"She still isn't talking to you."
"So I see."
"Ask him what he wants and tell him to answer in preferably 25 words or less. Let him know we are kind of busy around here getting ready for Jasper's big Austin concert." She says as she gets up and starts bustling around as she is prone to do every time she is avoiding me.
"I won't take up too much of your time. Just something I want to run by you. A concept actually."
"I don't usually like conceptual rock. Too pretentious." She shoots me a loaded look as she takes in my Armani suit.
"Not this. Now picture it. We have just finished… The Idle Rich, I mean… one of our loudest numbers… Radioactive, maybe, I don't know. Anyway, the band files off stage and I pull out a three legged stool and my acoustic guitar. I would say piano but lugging one of those around would be tricky. So I'm sitting there and I start singing this. It's rough because I just wrote it but you'll get the idea."
'I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do'
"No. Stop. Tell him no."
Alice eyes me. "She said no."
"Why not."
"Ask him where he was this past year as we were carefully cultivating an image for him and his band. Never mind, we know how busy he's been. So why don't you just explain to him that The Idle Rich is just a little bit classic rock mixed with alternative which is not three legged stools and acoustic guitars all alone on stage. I might have let him do it a time or two to keep him from quitting in the past but now that there's a contract…"
"Well, she's saying…"
"I can hear, Alice."
"Well you don't have to jump on me. I'm just doing my job…"
"At my request."
"At Bella's request."
"Okay fine, if you insist on communicating in this ridiculous manner then tell her that I don't think my idea is undercutting the image. It enhances it. I think people will walk away from our concert thinking we can do anything."
"Well he has a …"
"Ask him if he thinks I'm so naive that I don't realize that this little concept of his is just some not so cleverly disguised ego trip."
"Ego trip? How does she figure that?"
"Well what is the rest of the band supposed to be doing when he is up there hogging the spotlight? All the attention focused on him while he's indulging himself with his own self-indulgence. RIght? Then let's see he's just playing out the tragedy of his own love life in sappy love songs. No, I don't think so. He's the CEO of absolutely nothing around here. I hate it. Dead issue."
Alice Sighs. "She says you want all the attention to yourself and your sappy love song."
"I heard what she said."
"Well…" Alice throws her hands up in a 'what do you want me to do' manner.
"So tell her that I think that she's a disgrace to the entire management profession." Bella's mouth gapes open. "Yes, that's right because she is incapable of separating her personal feelings from her professional decisions."
She bolts up from her chair. "That's it, Cullen, you cut it out right now!"
"Are my eyes and ears deceiving me or are you actually addressing me?"
"Don't get used to it. Obviously we have had a major communication breakdown because either I haven't made myself as clear as I would have liked or your skull is thicker than I thought. So, listen very carefully. Lose the poor pitiful me act because it doesn't play here anymore. Did you really just think you could sail on in here and warble off a few dopey lyrics and everything would be okay? Get a job in the real world."
"Dopey? Dopey. Did you think the lyrics were dopey, Alice?"
"I actually liked the song."
"Well, I didn't."
"Because you didn't listen and you won't listen because you're too busy filtering and distorting your reaction through that kaleidoscope of rage you wear like a second skin."
"I have a right to my anger."
"Not when it interferes with my career. And not when it causes you to make bad decisions."
"What makes them bad, Cullen? Because you don't agree with them?"
"No because you are turning up your nose at something potentially good for the band because I suggested it. Now, if you could just be dispassionate for just a…"
"I am being dispassionate!"
Alice and I look at her dubiously.
"Clearly you are not. And since you are so fond of the truth, try this one on for size. I'm getting sick of this. You can't tell me how to sing or what to sing."
"Read your contract Pal. Creative control is my area."
"Alice has creative control too and she likes it."
"And she's overruled."
"This isn't some dictatorship."
"Well it sure as hell isn't a democracy either so you get this straight. There is no three-legged stools, there is no spotlight and there is no bringing the show to a screeching halt so you can sing your dopey love song."
"Stop calling it that! You know I used to think you were the fairest person I'd ever met in my life but I think even you are capable of deception because you are not being fair at all."
"You leave now."
"Bella, what…"
"You are really upsetting me. So I just want you to go."
I see tears in her eyes so I back away. "Work on her will you? It's a good idea." I plead with Alice. She nods.
"Listen you may be furious with me right now but at least you're feeling something." I tell Bella once I get to the door.
She picks up a pillow and throws it at me. "You arrogant jerk! I hate you!" I just shake my head sadly at her and go to work.
But this isn't over yet.
I wait until ten o'clock that evening and park my ass on a tree stump right outside her bedroom window. She is going to listen to me whether she likes it or not.
I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
Well I would have known
What I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
Well I would have known
What I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
She appears in the window and opens it, leaning out slightly but I keep singing.
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well
With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
I finish and we just look at each other. Her expression is softer than I've seen it in a long while.
"Hey, you wanna wake the neighbors?" She asks softly.
"What neighbors? The closest house is about a mile up the road." I smirk.
"You've made your point, okay?"
"What point is that?"
"The dopey love song. You can do it."
"Does that mean you like it?" I ask hopefully.
"It's okay." She shrugs. "Kind of grows on ya. So, night."
"Night," I say softly as she closes the window and disappears. "For now, my love."
I walk back to the house feeling pretty damn good for once.
Playlist:
You Broke Me First- Tate McRae
Turning Page- Sleeping at Last
See you Wednesday. Trust me, things are about to pick up.
