Authors Notes: Hey All Billie Frichette and Klyde Barrow here. Your fave writing duo. Lol Due to health problems and just Winter Break in general. We are going to take the next few weeks off and will be back with Heroes and Halfwits on January 4th.

The following is a Q&A panel we wanted to do where our characters (Hastur, Thaelin, and Varris) would answer common reader questions and some we thought would be fun to do ourselves. ENJOY!

Q: What's your backgrounds like?

Hastur: "I had a...weird childhood. Its a super long story, but after I was five or six, i moved to the human lands. I was raised in an abbey where I served among the friars in their printing shop. so that's how I got to be into books and learned of my deity, Oghma.

Thaelin: "Eh. Usual childhood for me. Mom, dad, brother and sister. once i got old enough my dad threw me out said 'Don't come home till ya make somethin' of yerself'. And here I am. A disappointment to my folks."

Varris: "I don't want to talk about that. Next question please?"

Q: Thaelin, my dude. Have you ever tried going a chapter without drinking? Like seriously. Your liver has to be on its final leg bro.

Varris: "Tch, fat chance of that ever happening."

Thaelin: "Hey, I can quite drinking whenever I want. I'm actually not as much of a drunk as you think, Myshka."

Hastur: *Empties Thaelin's knapsack onto the floor and several empty glass bottles clatter*

Varris: "You were saying?"

Q: What are your favorite foods?

Hastur: "I would have to say ramen. Not that instant cup stuff, good restaurant style ramen noodles. I'm a total sucker for some chicken ramen with green onion and little bits of carrot and tofu mixed in."

Thaelin: "Ribs…big, charred, tender, and drowned in barbecue sauce. This smoke shack back home had the best lamb rack and brisket. Stuff was so tender it melted off the bone."

Varris: "My favorite food is macaroni and cheese. Especially oven baked with penne noodles, extra cheese and panko crumbs on top."

Q: What's the scariest enemy you have ever fought so far?

Hastur: "I would say the Ice Drake. That thing was absolutely, terrifying. It was five times my size."

Thaelin: " *mumbles under his breath* "Vina Steinnacht."

Varris: *Laughs* "I'm sorry Thaelin, could you say that again? I couldn't hear you."

Thaelin: *sinks in his chair* "Vina…"

Varris: *slaps her leg in laughter* "You are scared of that little dwarf? Are you serious?"

Thaelin: "Hey, that bitch is literally, not figuratively, the most psychotic girl in the known word."

Varris: "She is a 4'5" dwarf that could easily hide behind a lamp post."

Thaelin: "Yeah. And if you don't keep your eyes open she will sneak up behind you with a knife and gut you like a fish. That girl is no one you want to mess with."

Varris: "Wuss."

Thaelin: "And what's you toughest enemy fought, besides your overwhelming feelings for me?"

Varris: *tries not to blush* "The only feelings I have is a headache when you talk."

Q: "What are you favorite video games?"

Hastur: "I love Animal Crossing! I have wanted to cosplay as Isabelle for years!"

Thaelin: "Toss-up between Minecraft and Mortal Kombat 11. I love building shit, and Scorpion is my main fighter 'GET OVER HERE!'

Varris: "Skyrim. I've never killed a dragon before, so that's the closest I will ever get to do so."

Q: What languages do you all speak and what is with the italic words. Is that like legit elf language you made up?"

Hastur: "You see, reader. The authors are not very well versed in the fictional elven languages from series like Lord of the Rings and the official D&D canon. So they substitute a few existing foreign languages to substitute them. When I speak Elven, they use Irish Gaelic and Welsh. And When Thaelin speaks in Dwarvish, he speaks in a combination of Russian and Polish. But, on occasion we do use actual canonical Elven and Dwarven words from the D&D lore."

Q: Hastur, Why did you name your dog Freki? What kind of pupper is he? How old is he? And will he become a party member?

Hastur: Well, Freki is a Britney Spaniel that is about 1 year old, I think. He's the most adorable best friend I've ever had. I named him Freki because in my people's folklore Freki was the name of a great wolf that guards the moon and the sun from a dragon that wants to eat it. And I think he would make a great addition to our adventure party. We just have to get him trained better. Plus I think it would be so adorable to get a little suit of armor for him.

Varris: "Armor...for a dog?"

Hastur: "Hell yes!"

Q: Yo Thaelin, what's your best hunting story?

Thaelin: "I'm glad somebody finally asked. Bout three years ago, I went down to the kingdom of Morteu. There were some hunters that had a bad problem with these dire loins the locals called Hunt Beasts. Think a mountain lion the size of bears. Anyway, my party approaches the area when we get ambushed by three of them. I manage to kill one with a critical strike and scared off another by throwing a rock at its face. Which left a pack leader that was huge! Three of my party members collapse against it, and one tried to play dead. Well the Giant Kitty Cat wasnt fooled and killed him. When it spotted me, it decided to improvise. It rushed at me and I climbed on its back and it takes off running. Thank Tymora, I hold on for dear life and it cant hit me. I drive my bollock dagger into its spine and fell it. By the time I return to my party I get them stable. And bury the one idiot."

Q: Dear ladies. What cup sizes are you?"

Hastur: *Face blushes bright red and she covers herself with her cloak * "Perverts! That's none of your business!"

Thaelin: "Lets just say with the elf, I've seen bigger. And as for Myshka...'DAYUM!'."

Hastur: "Varris, please hit him for me."

Varris: "With pleasure."

Thaelin: * Gets knocked out of his chair by an iron punch * OUCH! What the hell? She said hit, not break my spine with your abnormal strength. Gods damn it woman. Lay off the protein shakes."

Q: What kind of music do you guys like to listen to?

Hastur: "I absolutely love Alternative Rock and Roll. Arctic Monkies, Tame Impala, and Imagine Dragons are by far my favorites."

Thaelin: "I rock out with the best shit! 2000's Hard Rock, baby! Breaking Benjamin, Seether, and Chevelle."

Varris: "I like EDM. Deadmau5, Daft Punk, and Martin Garrix are my favorite DJs."

Q: Do you have enemies?

Hastur: "I absolutely hate stupid people who are so ignorant and pig headed in their ways. if you learn from mistakes made you can change the outcome. I also don't like racists. There's a lot here in Hayak. People don't like elves, they tolerate dwarves like someone tolerates a splinter."

Thaelin: I'm gonna be here all night if you want a full list. top of the list are paladins. like I get it. you made a pinky promise and now you are a goody-two-shoes. good for you. now stop with the self-righteous attitude. kill these goblins, and lets get paid already.

Varris: Anything evil. It's my duty to slay anything that threatens peace and harmony in the world."

Q: Who do you care about?

Hastur: "My puppy. Freki is the most adorable friend I've ever had. I mean as a Cleric i do care about people. Its just that if a person and Freki were hanging from a cliff, I'd rescue Freki first. Is that mean?"

Thaelin: "Eh, my party is ok. A little bitchy at times but hey, the perfect adventuring party never exists."

Varris: "There's only a few people I care about. Show you're worthy of it, and maybe i'll save you."

Q: Are you a morning person or night owl

Hastur: "I'm not really either to be honestly. I'm only out of bed for coffee. and I can't stay up late to save my life."

Thaelin: "Well duh, I'm a night owl. Everything is out with the moon. monsters, money, and bitches."

Varris: "I'm up as early as I need to be."

Q: Drink of choice?

Hastur: I'm mostly a coffee girl. Coffee is the greatest magic potion ever made."

Thaelin: "Finally a good question. pretty much anything with booze in it. Beer. Ciders. Wine if I have to."

Varris: "I don't drink. Its something lesser people do.

Thaelin: "Hey, I drink!"

Varris: "I stand by what I said."

Q: "Varris, what's your history with Thaelin? Are you two like a couple or something? I totally ship you two."

Varris: *Face palms*

Thaelin: "Want me to tell them?"

Varris: "Why are you asking me, you will say it regardless."

Thaelin: "Good point. Well dear reader, here's the skinny. Varris and I used-"

Varris: "Used to! Key take away here, reader."

Thaelin: "As I was saying. We used to be together. And thanks for shipping us. I would ship us too, eh Myshka?"

Varris: "If by ship you mean put your ass on a ship and have it sail very far away from me, than yes. I do ship us."

Q: What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink of choice?

Hastur: "I think I already answered that. Coffee."

Thaelin: "Wait there are drinks without alcohol? What, you mean like water?"

Varris: "Fruit juices."

Q: Do you plan out your adventures or just make them up as you go?

Hastur: "To be honest, i really wish we make plans. things would go so much smoothly if somebody would just think things through. If you see a statue on a pedestal in the middle of a chamber would you not want to look for a trap first?

Thaelin: *Makes Joker reference* "Do I really look like a guy with a plan? I just do things."

Varris: "I have to side with Hastur. If we just stick to a well thought out plan than maybe we

Q: Whats your ideal day off

Hastur: "I love rainy days. I can just cuddle up by the fireplace, read, and listen to the thunder or rain hit the windows. Its the perfect ASMR.

Thaelin: "When I don't have to deal with stupid people and

Varris: I never get days off. But I would like to have a day where I can enjoy the market. Enjoy the cuisine. Perhaps even buy a dress

Thaelin: "I have never, EVER, seen you in a dress, Myshka. I can only imagine how adorable you would look in one."

Varris: "And because of that, you will never see me in one."

Q: Are there any skills or hobbies you are good at that you don't like to show off?

Hastur: "I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm really good at foraging for herbs. I can make a quick salve that can take away a burn or clean a wound really quick."

Thaelin: "Fishing. I've caught fish with my bear hands before. There ain't a fish in any water that I can't catch. 10 gold says I can kill a whale by the end of this story."

Varris: *embarrassed to admit she doesn't have any secret skills*

Q: Is there any monsters that scare you?

Hastur: "I never want to see a troll or ogre. ive read about those things and they sound freaky as hell!"

Thaelin: "N-nope! Nothing scares me" (doesnt want to admit it but is terrified of snakes and spiders)

Varris: "Nothing scares me."

Q: Is there any human-humanoid that scares you?

Hastur: "Varris."

Thaelin: "Varris and Vina."

Varris: "I'm not scared of them. But if I have the chance, I will kill every fucking Drow that crosses my path."

Q: What are you most proud of?

Hastur: "I'm most proud of where I am now. I took the chance at becoming an adventurer. Sure I'm terrified of pretty much everything, but hey. Im not the same scared naive little half-elf that would end up living on the streets."

Thaelin: "What am I proud of? Me obviously, I'm awesome. I slay witches and lay bitches."

Varris: "I'm proud of my subordinates. And to be the Sergeant of my Order. Young men and women come into my Order with a dream of becoming better. I take pride in being the furnace that forges them into the steel they need to be."

Q: What do you regret the most?

Hastur: "I regret not being able to help people. I want to help others. Make them better. protect them from what goes bump in the night, but I cant. im just a support. I stand back, let my party earn the glory while im off pining the bad guys with my magic. i wish i could make a more proactive approach."

Thaelin: "There's this horde. Years ago my old party wound up in the Underdark. Not all of us got out of there alive. And we found this horde of treasure. It was like some drow bank vault or a dragon's long lost stash. I couldn't take a single coin from there. And I regret it. The fortune that got away.

Varris: *crosses her arms* "I regret not helping my friend Monty out of the Underdark. I could have saved him. I…I could have…This interview is over."