AN: OK, so we've reached the beginning of the end, I guess. I'll admit that I did tear up, reading through the chapter a final time before posting so, you know, just a heads up that there will be a lot of feelings from here on out… A final night with friends, basically, with a couple of surprises thrown in

I don't own anything relating to The 100

Chapter title from "New York" by Snow Patrol

61

The Long Neon Nights and the Want of the Ocean and the Fire That Is Starting to Go Out

They stay in Bellport a little too late, probably. After the initial emotional meeting, Linda insists on making them lunch and hearing everything about Bellamy and Octavia's childhood. After they eat, the dogs need to be walked, so all four of them stroll around the neighborhood for half an hour, until both Duke and Coco have gone about their business.

When they get back to the house, Bellamy sort of half-heartedly suggests that maybe they should get going, that Richard and Linda probably have plans, but Linda assures them that the only thing they were planning was to play a round of golf at the club, and they can do that any time.

So they return to the living room, where Linda produces some photo albums and returns the favor, telling Bellamy about Aurora as a girl and a teenager, before the final, horrible fight that made her leave.

Richard pipes in now and then with a story of his own, but he mostly stays quiet, watching his wife and grandson with a smile on his face and Clarke, in turn, watches him.

She can see the stern father he must have been to Aurora, but she can also see the indulgent grandfather he would have been to Bellamy and Octavia, given the chance.

She hopes Octavia will be as understanding as Bellamy, when he talks to her. The Blakes deserve to have one grandchild to spoil in their old age, and they're obviously hoping to get that.

After they talk about Aurora, the conversation turns to Clarke and Bellamy's recent trip. It turns out Richard did a bit of traveling for work, and Linda accompanied him when she could, so they've both been to some of the places, even if it was years ago, and they're eager to compare impressions and hear about the places they haven't visited themselves.

Then it's dinner time, and Linda insists they can't drive all the way back to New York on empty stomachs, so they end up eating grilled salmon out on the patio, with the setting sun reflecting off the water in the distance.

"It's a beautiful place you have," Clarke notes. "Can I ask why you decided to leave Chicago for upstate New York?"

Linda is spooning up vegetables on Bellamy's plate – she's definitely slipped right into overprotective grandmother mode – and puts the dish down before turning to Clarke.

"I grew up on Martha's Vineyard," she explains. "That's where Richard and I met, actually, way back in 1965 when he was on holiday with some friends. We did live close to the lake in Chicago, but it wasn't the same, and I always missed the sea. So when I finally convinced Richard to retire and sell the company, I also talked him into moving here."

"And we haven't regretted it," Richard adds from across the table.

"The winters can be a little harsh," she goes on. "Though it would probably be worse without the islands off the coast offering a little protection from the winds. And the summers more than make up for it."

Once the food is gone and the sun has set, it's Linda who reluctantly brings up that they should probably get going.

"You do have a bit of a drive back to the city," she says, frowning. "I would offer you the guest room but we're actually leaving early in the morning, visiting my sister up on the Vineyard for a couple of weeks. You were actually lucky to catch us at home – we got back from Chicago only on Sunday, we stayed with Richard's brother for two weeks, and tomorrow we're off again."

"Good timing then," Bellamy concludes.

"We'll be back on August eleventh," Linda tells them when she and Richard are walking them to the car. "I don't know when you're both going back to work, but we'd be more than happy to have you stay for a week, or just a weekend, if that's all the time you can spare."

He smiles, though Clarke can tell it doesn't quite reach his eyes, and squeezes Linda's hand. "A week might be tricky, but a weekend would be nice. We can make plans when you're back home again."

Linda nods. "That sounds good." She hesitates, taking half a step forward, and it's clear even to Clarke that she's hoping for a hug. Luckily, Bellamy picks up on it too and moves in and wraps his arms around her. "I'm so glad we got to meet you," Clarke hears her mumble.

"Me too," he replies before letting her go and offering his hand to Richard, who shakes and does one of those man-half-hugs.

"Drive safe," he tells them, and then they're getting in the car.

"OK?" Clarke asks when they've driven for a while.

Bellamy glances at her before focusing on the road again. "Yeah, that went much better than I expected."

"Good."

They drive in silence for a while, before he speaks again. "I do kind of wish that I had reached out sooner, you know? Maybe even back when Mom died. But then… who would I be today if I had? What would my life be like? Maybe they would have taken O and I would have gone to college and maybe grad school and have a completely different job now and… I could have been on the other side of the country, I might never have met you."

The thought makes Clarke's stomach churn uncomfortably and she reaches for his hand, to assure herself he's there. At least for a little longer.

"I know what you mean," she says. "The butterfly effect."

He hums. "But I am really glad I got to see them, at least this once."

"Me too."

-100-

Clarke wouldn't have minded spending the next few days cooped up at home with just Bellamy, but they can't have sex for seventy-two hours straight anyway. The temperature has risen a little again, but it's still on more normal summer levels, so they spend a couple of hours a day exploring different parts of the city.

On Wednesday afternoon, they take the tram over to Roosevelt Island and stroll around, checking out the ruins of the old smallpox hospital, the Octagon, and the Lighthouse.

"I can't believe I've never actually been here before," Bellamy says on the way back to Manhattan. "I mean, not that I've done a lot of sightseeing in the city, but still. There's so much history here."

Clarke just hums and leans her head against his shoulder.

They go to Cheryl's for brunch on Thursday, as a kind of throwback to their first sort of official date – Bellamy insists that a throwback has to go further back than eight months, but Clarke doesn't care – and then lounge on a shaded bench in John Street Park for a while, Clarke sketching and Bellamy playing on his phone. In the evening, they head uptown to Top of the Rock to continue their tradition of watching the sunset.

They've both been here before, so they just head straight up to the observation deck to find a good spot for the show.

"One more to go," Bellamy notes quietly when the last of the sunrays have disappeared behind the horizon. The sky is still painted in beautiful shades of pink and purple, though, and it won't be dark for a while. "We'll be able to see the sunset from Raven and Zeke's place tomorrow, right?"

Clarke leans back against him and closes her eyes against the way his words make a cold weight settle in her stomach. "Yeah, they have great sunset views."

His arms tighten around her and he kisses her temple. "Good."

They Skype Rosamie and Danilo on Friday morning again, and Clarke can tell how hard it is on Bellamy, how he has to fight to stay relaxed. The call goes on longer than usual, since he's normally the one to wrap things up, but eventually, Rosamie reluctantly says that it's getting late.

It's after eleven, much later than they normally talk, and with a couple of final 'I love yous' – which is how they always end their talks these days, so it's not even odd – they hang up.

Bellamy slumps back against the couch, squeezing his eyes shut, and Clarke wraps her arms around him in silent support.

"I know I've already kind of asked this, but you'll keep an eye on them, right?" he asks after a long moment. "Not just O, but Rosamie and Danilo and everyone over there, and Miller, and Richard and Linda too? Basically all the people I care about. Not… just make sure they're doing OK?"

She tightens her grip on him and presses her face against his chest, trying to keep the tears from falling. "Of course. For as long as I can, and even after that, I'll be like a… fairy godmother or something, watching from afar."

He lets out a humorless laugh. "Fuck, I didn't even think about that. They're going to start asking questions eventually, especially O and Miller…"

"I'll handle it."

They sit in silence for a little longer, just breathing in synch.

"You could tell them," Bellamy says then. "I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to ruin the time we had together, but if you… when you think they're… not over it, obviously, but in a good enough place, you could tell them. Or if you think they would feel better hearing it. That I knew what was happening and… fuck, not that I wanted to die, that's the last thing I want and I don't want them to think that, but that I… had accepted it, I guess?"

Clarke pulls away to be able to look at him.

"Have you?"

He sighs, runs a hand through his hair.

"Hell if I know. I know there's nothing I can do, but if I had my way, I'd just stay with you, here on this couch, forever."

"Me too." She pauses. "I'll tell them if I think I need to, OK?"

"OK."

His phone starts ringing then, signaling the day's second Skype call. Clarke says hi to Octavia and then gives them some privacy. She doesn't want to go too far, though, in case Bellamy needs support, so she just moves to the dining table and busies herself with checking her emails.

She's been doing it more and more lately, almost compulsively, opening the app up five, ten times a day, hoping for an email she's pretty sure by now isn't coming.

Clarke has mentored a couple of Soul Keepers over the years, but none since the mid-nineties, back before email became a standard for them. Those times, she got a letter in the mail a couple of months in advance, requesting her aide with a new Keeper, and sent her affirmative response back to the PO box they always used when two-way correspondence was needed.

Today, she's assuming these assignments arrive via email, like everything else, but just like every other time she's checked since May, there's nothing in her inbox. No message asking her to handle the mentoring of a new Soul Keeper.

She's been trying very hard to not let herself hope that it'll happen, because she knows the odds must be astronomically low, but it's still another blow.

She closes down the app again and focuses on Bellamy and Octavia's conversation, which is on their grandparents and seems to be going about as well as he had been hoping – Octavia is suspicious, but when Clarke backs him up and says that both Richard and Linda appeared genuine and really seemed to want to get to know their grandkids, she relents.

"Fine, I'll talk to them if you want me to," she says with an eye-roll. "But I've used up all my vacation days for this year, so I can't just fly out there to meet them."

Clarke winces at that, knowing that Octavia will be making that trip sooner than she thinks.

"That's all I ask, O."

They continue talking for a while, until Octavia has to leave for her evening class at the gym, and say their usual goodbyes – "Love you, O", "Love you too, weirdo".

As soon as Bellamy's hung up the phone, Clarke is back on the couch, wrapping herself around him as much as he can. "OK?"

"No."

"Sorry, stupid question."

He doesn't respond, just clings to her as tightly as she's clinging to him.

"She's going to be so angry," he says quietly after a long moment. "She was when Mom died."

"She was thirteen," Clarke reminds him.

"No, I know. I just… I want you to be prepared, just in case. Don't let her blame you, or push you away, or Lincoln, tell him he has to… he has to take care of her, OK? She's not going to say it, but she'll need him."

She finally gives up on keeping her tears at bay and just lets them fall. "I'll tell him, promise."

Bastet jumps up on the couch and meows at them, trying to get into Bellamy's lap. She's been extremely affectionate towards him since they got back, almost like she senses what's coming. Clarke slides off him and onto the couch next to him instead, and the cat happily turns in a circle twice before settling into a purring ball.

She could reach for the remote, turn on the TV to something, but she doesn't, instead just snuggles in closer, Bellamy's arm coming around her to hold her tight.

When the cat wakes up half an hour or so later and goes off in search of food or the best sun soaking spot or something, she looks up at him. He looks about as tired and wrung out as she feels. "Want to just head over to Raven and Zeke's already?" she asks. "I'm pretty sure neither of us are going to be much use if we stay here, she'll keep us busy."

Their Filipino dinner is set for six and it's not quite one yet, but there is a lot of cooking to be done.

Bellamy runs a hand over his face and takes a deep breath. "Yeah, we might as well."

"Car or subway?"

"Subway?" He gives her a smile. "I thought maybe we could walk home later, you know, like we did on Halloween? Sort of a literal walk down memory lane."

She smiles too at the memory, the perfect night up until she saw his Number… her eyes flit to it now, the one that feels like a punch in the face whenever she looks at it, before she resolutely looks away.

"That sounds nice."

Zeke's the one who opens the door when they get there. "Hey," he greets them, mouth turning up in a brief smile. "Come on in, Rae's out on a Transfer but she should be back pretty soon."

"We don't really need to get started on the food for a while," Bellamy says with a shrug. "We were just…"

"I get it." Zeke claps him on the back. "Go on in, Lola will be happy to see you as always."

Bellamy nods and disappears in the direction of the living room, and a moment later, happy yipping starts up.

"He really does have a way with animals," Zeke notes, shaking his head amusedly before pinning Clarke with a penetrating look. "You OK?"

She lets out a sound that's somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "No."

He squeezes her hand. "I know. And I know I can't… just, you know that we're here."

She squeezes back. "I do."

They follow Bellamy down the hall to find him on the couch, an overexcited dog trying to lick every inch of his face in his lap. But he's laughing, face open and eyes unguarded, and Clarke files the scene away somewhere in her catalogue of memories.

Raven does get home just a few minutes later, and she and Bellamy immediately get to work in the kitchen. Zeke, who's fine at cooking but usually defers to Raven because she's better at it and likes it more, helps out when they want, while Clarke hangs out at the counter and offers unneeded and irrelevant commentary.

It would be a really good afternoon, if it weren't for the dark cloud hanging over all of them.

The doorbell rings a little after five, which seems early even for Harper and Monty, who are always the ones to show up early.

"Will you get that, babe?" Raven asks, glancing at Clarke.

She sighs but jumps down off the bar stool. "Fine."

Lola joins her, excitedly skipping down the hallway to the front door and yipping at whoever's on the other side, and Clarke picks her up before opening the door, to make sure she doesn't make a dash for it. Of course, when she sees who's on the other side of the door, she almost drops the dog again.

"Wells?"

He offers a half-smile. "Hey. Surprise."

She did know they were coming at some point, but she hasn't actually talked to Wells or Sasha since the day after the wedding in Las Vegas, and neither of them wanted to bring this up at the time, for obvious reason.

She ushers them inside and makes sure the door is closed before letting Lola down again, and then she throws herself into Wells' arms.

"Hi," he mumbles into her hair, hugging her back just as tightly. She feels Sasha squeeze her arm and then hears her footsteps disappear down the hallway, Lola's yipping accompanying her.

"I'm so glad you're here," Clarke says after a long moment.

"You did know we were coming," he points out.

"I know, but I thought you might not get here until… after."

"No, we wanted to… be here today."

"Thank you."

He kisses her hair before gently pulling out of the embrace. "You know there's nowhere else either of us want to be right now, right?"

Clarke presses the heels of her hands against her eyes and then wipes away the few tears that have escaped. "I know."

Wells gives her a moment and then asks, "Did we pull the surprise off this time, at least?"

She can't help but laugh a little at that. "You did. So, basically, Raven's still mad I figured out the surprise at Christmas, right?"

"Obviously."

They join the others in the kitchen, where Sasha has rolled up her sleeves and joined Raven at the stove. Bellamy looks up when he hears them and he and Wells exchange quick greetings before he comes over to the counter, where Clarke reclaims her previous seat.

"Good surprise?" he asks, leaning his chin on her shoulder.

She leans back against him and pulls his arms around herself. "I guess I don't need to ask if you were in on it then?"

He chuckles lightly. "Raven told me to not say anything, and I would never dare go against her direct orders."

"Good instincts," Raven says from across the room. "Now get back here and tell me this stuff is supposed to look like this."

He sighs good naturedly but goes, after stealing a kiss, and Clarke leans against the counter, watching them.

Harper and Monty arrive half an hour later, Monty joining Wells who's offering his commentary on the cooking and Harper sitting down next to Clarke at the counter, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She doesn't ask if Clarke's OK, which she's grateful for, just offers her silent support.

The mood lightens, by necessity, once Miller and Jackson join the party, and soon after, Jasper and Maya arrive as well, completing their numbers.

They have decided to set the food up in the kitchen, so everyone can grab what they want to eat, instead of having to pass dishes around the table.

"OK!" Bellamy calls when he and Raven have gotten everything set up to their specifications. "Thanks for coming, guys, it's good to see all of you again."

"You've been on holiday for six months, you haven't been off to war or something," Miller says with an eye-roll. "And, like, forty percent of us saw you in Vegas three weeks ago."

Bellamy ignores him. "So, this is basically a Filipino evening, since I got a bunch of recipes from my grandmother when we were there. So we have chicken adobo, which I already knew how to make, vegetarian sisig, spring rolls that are called lumpia with two fillings, one vegetarian and one with chicken, kalderetang baka beef stew, a noodle dish called pancit palabok, and finally, Raven somehow managed to find calamansi, so we've made calamansi juice. But there's also, like, beer and stuff if you for some reason don't want the complete experience."

"I think what he's trying to say," Raven takes over when he stops talking, "is 'dig in'!"

Bellamy heaves an exaggerated sigh and shakes his head as everyone grabs plates. Clarke holds off too, staying next to him as their friends load their plates with food and troop out of the kitchen.

"They're all savages," he complains half-heartedly and she pats him on the shoulder.

"It smells absolutely amazing," she says. "They're probably just eager to try everything."

"I guess."

When everyone else has disappeared, they grab their own food and close the kitchen door behind them, to Lola's immense disappointment.

Raven has saved them seats at the middle of the table, and it's exactly what Clarke had hoped it would be – good food, quality time with wonderful friends, Bellamy smiling as he shifts his attention between her and everyone else, and she feels a warm glow of gratitude settle in her chest. Gratitude that she has all these amazing people in her life, gratitude that she got to have Bellamy in it, even if it was for such a short time, that she got to know him at all.

When everyone's finished eating, Raven breaks out some board games and they split into smaller groups.

"So this was really just a… dinner to show off all the food your grandmother taught you to make?" Miller asks when he, Jackson, Bellamy and Clarke have settled into a game of Scrabble at the dining table. Raven, Zeke, Jasper and Monty are at the other end of the table with a Monopoly board set up – Clarke's keeping an eye on it, just to make sure nobody gets hurt – and Harper, Maya, Wells and Sasha are at the coffee table with Clue.

"That's what we said, right?" Bellamy replies absentmindedly, squinting at his letters. "What else were you expecting?"

"Honestly? I thought there was… another big announcement coming," Miller says with a shrug.

Bellamy drops the tile he just picked up to place on the board and raises his eyebrows at his friend. "Sorry to disappoint, but I promise you'll be… OK, one of the first to know if that happens."

Miller raises his glass to her. "That's all I'm asking. And to be named Godfather, of course."

Bellamy snorts at that. "Right, because you're the first choice for someone to teach kids about religion."

"Fuck you too."

They circle through the different games, switching up the groups, for a couple of hours. Clarke told Raven about her and Bellamy's sunset tradition, so she times their dessert break – buko pandan, which she surprises even Bellamy with – so they can curl up on the couch for a few minutes and enjoy the delicious treat, which Bellamy praises as almost as good as Rosamie's, while watching the golden orb sink below the horizon.

It's long dark out, the lights in Jersey City twinkling across the Hudson, when Miller and Jackson exchange a look. "Right, tomorrow's Saturday, but some of us actually have to work," Miller says, sounding apologetic.

Bellamy's playing Risk with Harper, Maya and Jasper but looks up at his friend's voice and snorts. "You never work weekends."

"Shut up, I'm being a good boyfriend," Miller snaps back.

"Yeah, this is my fault, I have the morning shift tomorrow, so I'm on at six," Jackson explains, getting up from the table. "I told Nate he should stay, but…"

"No, it's fine," Bellamy assures him with a smile, glancing at his watch. Clarke does the same – ten thirty. "We'll probably call it a night soon too."

Raven and Zeke are in the middle of a game of Clue with Monty and Wells, but she looks up and gives Clarke a questioning look. "Things are just getting good here, you can see them out, right?"

Clarke nods. "Of course."

So she and Bellamy walk Miller and Jackson to the door, where Bellamy hesitates sort of awkwardly, obviously not sure how to actually say goodbye to his best friend, his almost-brother, without him realizing there's more to it than a regular, Friday night parting.

"This was nice," Jackson starts, giving Clarke a hug. "And it's good to have you guys back."

"It's good to be back," she replies, moving to hug Miller as well, hoping it will get Bellamy to do something too.

Jackson thanks him too with one of those guy-half-hugs and then he nods a little, as if making up his mind, and envelops Miller in a real bear hug.

"Really, thanks for coming, man," he says and Clarke hopes she's the only one who can tell that he's a little choked up. Miller gives her a confused and slightly alarmed look over Bellamy's shoulder, though, so she's not sure. She just shrugs in return.

"Of course," Miller replies, patting him on the back. "And I am glad you guys are home, OK? I was just kidding earlier."

Bellamy takes a step back and Clarke can see him swallowing. "I know."

"OK, we're going to leave before this gets weird," Miller says, eyeing Bellamy a little warily. "And it's not like there's a rush or anything, but I figured you want to get your stuff at some point? Jackson's working a night shift on Sunday, maybe we can do a guy's night and I'll help you pack?"

Clarke reaches for Bellamy's hand and he squeezes it, tight. "Yeah, that sounds good," he agrees, voice only a little off. "We'll talk on Sunday?"

"Great. Night."

They leave and Bellamy manages to keep it together until the door closes behind them, but then he slumps against the wall. She steps into him, wrapping her arms around him, and holds him as he fights to get his breathing back under control.

When he finally takes a deep, mostly steady breath, she shifts back enough to be able to look at him. "OK?" He just shakes his head, and she nods, because she knows. It's the same way she's feeling herself. "You want to head out?"

"Yeah, I think so," he replies, clearing his throat when his voice breaks a little. "Let's go say goodbye to everyone else."

It takes a while, because everyone wants to get some time with Bellamy, to… Clarke doesn't know what, exactly, because she keeps her distance, giving him these private moments with the people that have become his friends too, that care about him just like she does. Raven keeps her company until everyone else has said their goodbyes, and then she passes Clarke over to Harper and pulls Bellamy along into the hallway, apparently for some more privacy than everyone else got.

She comes back into the living room alone and wraps Clarke up in a hug. "Call," is all she says, and Clarke nods, even though she's far from sure she will.

She offers the rest of the room a wave and then leaves.

Bellamy's waiting by the front door, looking more or less calm. "You OK?" he asks when he sees her.

"No," she says, claiming his hand in a probably too tight grip as he opens the door.

He snorts. "Maybe we should stop asking each other that, huh?"

"Yeah."

It's a clear night, the stars barely visible in the sky, the temperature probably around seventy degrees. A perfect summer night in the city, really.

"Do you still feel up for a walk?" Bellamy asks.

She knows that walking home won't technically give her more time with him, but it still feels like it. And she does sort of want to retrace their steps from Halloween, an actual, physical walk down memory lane. So she squeezes his hand and nods. "Yeah."

Unlike their first walk, when they talked about everything between heaven and earth, this one is mostly silent. It takes longer too, Clarke's pretty sure – they stop now and then, to draw the other's attention to something, or to just pull them close for a moment.

All too soon, though, they reach their building

"I'm getting the strangest sense of déjà vu," Bellamy mumbles when she comes to a stop in the middle of the street and turns to him.

"Me too," she replies just as quietly, reaching up to gently run her thumb over his Number. The clock passed midnight during their walk, and it's ticked down for the last time.

"What's happening with it?" he asks.

"It's a zero now," she explains, fighting to keep her voice level. "Last day."

"So that's the last thing that'll happen, it counting down to zero?"

She shakes her head once. "No, it'll… it'll start fading when it…"

"Before it happens?"

"Yeah. Usually an hour or two before."

"So we'll have a little bit of warning."

"A little bit, yeah."

Laughter reaches them from somewhere further down the street, and Clarke realizes that people are out partying. It feels wrong on every level, but to most people in the city, it is still a Friday night at the end of July.

"You're not going to bail on me again, are you?" Bellamy asks teasingly and she manages to force her features into a smile.

"It's a bit too late for that."

He leans down for a brief kiss before taking her hand and pulling her along towards the front door. "Then let's go home."