Random funny and a shortened version of the Casa Bonita DLC from the Fractured but Whole. Love that DLC because I love Karen and her interactions with Kenny. So cute.
All through the morning at school, Kenny was feeling ill and was almost constantly hunched over in pain. As the bell rang for lunch, he stayed where he was with his head down on his desk while everyone else quickly shuffled out of the classroom. Noticing, Brooke had stayed behind with him.
"What's wrong with you today?"
He groaned. "I don't feel so good…"
"Yeah, I can tell," she said. "What feels bad?"
"My stomach is burning. Ugh, it feels like it's melting."
"Melting?" Brooke mused.
"I mean, not literally." He slid off his chair and stood for a moment, hunched forward with his arms wrapped around his belly. "But it feels like it." He went to take a step and suddenly violently vomited a grotesque black substance onto the floor then stumbled and lost his footing.
Brooke caught him in her arms as he fell and stared down at the chunky liquid. "Huh, that kind of looks like the result of a human drinking pure Shadow Potion. Wait… Kenny! Did you take one of my Shadow Potions?!"
"No!" He shook with pain. "Uhhhgh…"
"Well then, why are you puking up your melted insides?!"
"Aw, shit!" He vomited again, hacking up something meaty-looking. "Oh god…I think I just threw up my spleen."
"No, that's a kidney," Brooke said. "But don't change the subject."
"I don't remember drinking that… Charles and Lamar."
"What?"
"They were at my house this morning!"
"What were they doing?"
"Being nice!"
"…Um, okay? That's not actually a rare phenomenon, Kenny."
"They must've spiked my breakfast!" He coughed and hacked up something else.
"Oh, there's the other kidney," Brooke said. "Don't worry, Kenny. It'll be over soon." She sat down on the floor with him in her lap and rubbed his back. "If you want, I can make it quicker."
"Please…"
Darren had gone back to check on them, walking into the classroom just in time to see Brooke snapping Kenny's neck. "Oh my god! What happened?! Why did you kill Kenny?!" He gagged. "Ugh! What is that horrible-smelling black stuff?!"
"I was just putting him out of his misery," she said. "That's his melted insides. See? That's a kidney right there." She watched calmly as a bunch of rats came scurrying over to tear apart the corpse. "Pixie!"
The yellow and green pygmy dragon appeared with a low bow. "Princess! How can I help you today?"
"Pixie, go to my house and check how many Shadow Potions are in my closet."
"Of course!" He vanished, returning after only a minute or two. "Five Shadow Potions, Your Majesty."
"I had six. Those two boneheads are in so much trouble. Thanks Pixie."
"Anytime!"
.
That night, Sniper had decided to sleep with Trent in the basement, leaving Brooke to sleep alone in her room. Whether by coincidence or not, this was the night that someone decided to essentially 'break in' to her house, specifically her room. She was sleeping peacefully when an unfamiliar voice woke her.
"Brooke. Wake up." It was a very gruff voice.
"Hm?" She turned over, sitting up immediately at the sight of the hooded stranger perched on her now open window. "What the hell!? Who the hell are you!?"
"Don't worry," he said. "I'm not here to hurt you."
"Pfft, like you could, Batman."
"Wha- I'm not Batman! I am…" he grabbed his cape and pulled it up to half obscure his face. "Mysterion!"
She blinked at him. "…Yeah, whatever, Batman. What are you doing in my window?"
He rolled his eyes. "I need you to come with me. It's important."
"I'm not going anywhere with you."
"What?"
"Dude, it's almost two in the morning, and, for some reason, I can't properly read your soul. So, as far as I know, you're a total stranger who just lockpicked my window."
"You can't read my- It doesn't matter! Are you gonna come, or do we have to do this the hard way?"
She looked offended. "Did you just threaten me?"
"Hard way it is."
"What – Hey!"
He had jumped onto the bed, shoving a large sack over her and scooping her up into it in one fell swoop. He quickly tied the opening closed and picked her up. "Shit," he struggled to keep a good hold as she thrashed in the sack. "She's gonna kill me."
Brooke had not stopped struggling, even after feeling him place her down onto the ground somewhere.
"What the hell?! You weren't supposed to kidnap her!"
"Uh, I…panicked."
"PANICKED?!"
Furious and ready to risk a Wechuge rampage, Brooke's fingernails grew like claws and she thrust them through the sack with a loud, frightening sound of fabric being torn apart. She tore her way out of the sack, little blue flames beginning to dance off her wrists. She was ready to tear into someone, but stopped at the sight of the people in front of her. Stan, Token, and Tweek were huddled together, looking very frightened, and each wearing strange outfits. The fire dispersed from Brooke's hands and her claws had gone. "Huh? What the hell are you guys doing dressed like that?"
"W-We're super heroes!" Tweek said. "I am Wonder Tweek!"
"Toolshed!"
"And Tupperware!" Token said.
Brooke stared blankly at each of them in turn, pausing a particularly long time on Token with his suit of plastic food storage containers. "Super heroes who kidnap people at two in the morning?" she said, sounding very monotone.
"That-That was NOT how it was supposed to go down!" Stan told her. "That was Mysterion's fault!"
Suddenly remembering her anger from before, she spun around to find Mysterion a few feet behind her. "YOU!"
"Fuck!" He took a step back. "W-Wait!"
She snatched him up by the front of his shirt.
"Brooke, wait!" His voice had suddenly changed.
"Kenny?" she dropped him. "…What the hell is WRONG with you!?"
"I'm sorry! I panicked!"
"WHAT?!"
He held his arms up to protect himself. "I'm sorry!"
"Now, now…" a new voice soothed.
Brooke whipped around and was surprised to find the cripple boy named Timmy approaching in his electric wheelchair. Mostly she was surprised about the fact that he was saying something more than his own name, which was the usual case with him, and even more surprised at how he seemed to be speaking telepathically.
"Timmy," she said. "How the fuck are you doing that?"
"I received a special gift yesterday at exactly three-thirty-two in the afternoon. Inside was a small bottle of a mysterious blue liquid with a note telling me that if I drank it, I would have temporary real-life super powers."
"You…actually drank it?"
"Naturally."
"As you do," she muttered sarcastically.
"Well, it worked," he said. "I have gained the ability of telepathy, as you can see. Though, I do wonder where it came from and how long it will last…"
"I have a pretty good idea of its origins…" Brooke clenched her teeth. "Charles and Lamar, you two are gonna get it." She sighed. "Okay. Looks like two new people I have to explain my…background to. Two? Three? Tweek, didn't we already have that discussion?"
"Yes."
"Two. Got it."
"One," Timmy said. "I have already read it in your thoughts. It's super crazy."
"Hey!" she snapped. "Did I SAY you could read my thoughts? What did you assholes bring me here for anyway?"
"Ah, yes. Simply put, we would like you to join our team."
"Seriously? This couldn't wait 'til daytime?"
"We wanted to be the first to get to you. You see, crime has been picking back up in South Park, more than the usual amount I mean, and we want to put a stop to it. We are always open to accepting new allies, and we know that you are a naturally strong, terrifying person. Mysterion certainly seems to think so."
Kenny shifted awkwardly and looked away, feeling embarrassed at the fear he had displayed earlier.
"And now," Timmy continued. "Knowing about the truth of who, and what, you are…well, we certainly wouldn't want you on the side of our enemies."
"Ah, and here I thought you guys were just playing a game," she said. "Tell you what…I'll play along. Not like I have anything better to do lately…"
"Great!" Stan said. "Do you have a hero persona or a costume?"
"I'll let you guys decide that." She went over to the corner and laid down on the floor, facing the wall. "I'm going back to sleep before I maul Batman over there."
"I'm not Batman!"
"I guess not… You're more like a dark version of the Riddler or something."
"Fuck!"
The next morning, Brooke woke to the smell of French toast and jumped up to ascend the stairs at high-speed. "French toast!" She startled the boys as she burst into the kitchen. They were no longer in their hero costumes as they sat at the table to eat.
"Jesus Christ!" Stan jumped.
"Uh, sorry." She recomposed herself. "Monsters, uh, w-we really like cinnamon."
"No kidding."
She joined them at the table, shooting Kenny a spiteful glare and purposefully sitting between Stan and Token.
"So, we were discussing what your hero persona should be," Stan told her. "Considering the powers you have, we were thinking of just sticking to your reaper shtick."
"Mm-hm," she took a mouthful of toast.
"I mean, you're the Grim Reaper's daughter, so that makes you a reaper, too, right?"
"Mmyeah."
"Do you have a scythe?" Token asked.
She swallowed and laughed. "Ha! Do I have a scythe? Of course I have a scythe!" The boys jumped as she suddenly summoned a long, spectral, blue scythe in her hand. "What kind of reaper doesn't have a soul-tearing scythe?" She scoffed and the weapon vanished. "Well, other than the ones with soul-tearing claws I mean."
"R-Right," Stan said. "Can it do damage without tearing souls or killing people?"
"Sure. I mean, it IS magic." She continued eating, eyeing the last half of toast that Stan was not eating. "Magic is great," she said after a few bites. "It can be altered to do maximum damage or even no damage. As long as the person using it knows how to control it. Like, I'm a monster of fire. I use magic to create flames. I can even control what they will burn and what will not be harmed by touching them. I could send out a wave of fire that harms enemies but passes harmlessly through allies." She paused a moment. "I could do a lot of other stuff if I actually had real control over my own powers… Using my scythe, flames, and wings are about all I can do without losing control and going on a rampage."
"That's pretty good though," Stan said.
"Now you just need a costume to match," Tweek told her. "Oh! A-And a name!"
"You should wear a classic reaper cloak," Token suggested. "With the hood and everything. You could have your wings out, too. That'd be cool."
"Easily obtained," Brooke said. "Okay. And a name?"
"Lady Death!" Tweek said.
"Nightingale," Token suggested.
Brooke eyed them both incredulously.
"Why not use your real name?" Kenny finally spoke. He quickly looked down when she looked at him.
"Come on man," Stan said. "That's boring. Just Brooke?"
"No," he said. "I meant her REAL name."
"Brooke's not your name?" Tweek asked.
"No," she told him. "That's the name my not-parents gave me. My real name is in an ancient monster dialect that would be incomprehensible to humans. But it pretty much translates to Angel of Death. Back home, my real home, everyone either calls me Princess or Angel. Only Lucy refers to me as Brooke."
"It's kind of scary for a super hero," Stan said. "But I like it."
"Yeah, let's go with that," Token agreed.
"Okay." Brooke looked bashful all of a sudden. "My real name it is then."
…
Saturday was a relatively relaxed day. Brooke had stayed home that day, remaining downstairs while Riley, Jake, and Butters had all gathered together in Jake's bed for hours. Lucy would periodically go upstairs to check on Jake and administer his medicine then return to her shed with a purpose. She must have been on to something with her cure in the making. Brooke was mildly surprised when Trent came up from the basement and joined her on the sofa to watch TV. He even started a few small conversations and actively engaged with her.
Later in the evening, Brooke received an incoming video chat on her phone from Kenny. Weird, she thought. He usually just texted her. Rarely did he call, and he had never called for a video chat before. She answered and saw him wearing his little hero costume. "Yes?"
"Angel!"
Her attention perked at the sound of her birth-given name.
"I need your help! Karen has been kidnapped by vampires!"
"WHAT?!"
"Meet me at Casa Bonita ASAP! And wear your costume!" He hung up.
"Wait – Vampires?! Vampires don't kidnap people…at least, not for long."
"Who was that?" Trent asked, not recognizing the gruff voice.
"Kenny. Casa Bonita…Pretty house? What the heck is that?!"
"Pretty sure that's a restaurant."
Brooke hopped down to her feet and hurried upstairs to change. She burst into Riley and Jake's room wearing a dark blue cloak and hood with her red wings folded neatly behind her. The three boys all looked at her curiously.
"If Lucy asks, I'm going deal with vampires at some restaurant called Casa Bonita!" She left.
"Ooh!" Butters called after her, "Bring back sopapillas, please!"
She left the house and glanced around for any witnesses before pulling out a Ticket Whistle and blowing into it. The tiny skull on the end opened its mouth to let out a high-pitched sound, and a vortex opened to shoot out a large train.
"Princess," the skeleton conductor bowed as the locomotive screeched to a halt. He caught his hat as it fell and placed it back on his head as he straightened up. "It's rare that YOU call! Since you have a way to the Nether in your little shack, I'm guessing you need a quick ride somewhere in this world?"
"Yes. Sorry to disrupt your schedule, but I need a ride to some restaurant around here called Casa Bonita. I don't know where it is."
"Your father's favorite! Says they have the BEST nachos. Hop on!"
She hurried up the little steps into the first car, earning surprised looks from all the monsters on board.
"Good evening folks!" The intercoms across the train blared. "Sorry for any inconvenience, but we have a quick, unscheduled stop to make via a request of your Princess! Please, take your seats and prepare for the jerk."
Brooke quickly obtained a seat beside a kappa, who smiled pleasantly at her. The train jerked forward then shot off with incredible speed. The scenery outside changed as they passed through the interdimensional wormhole that the Skeleton Train used to travel quickly between worlds. It was only about five or six minutes before the scenery changed again and the train slowed to a stop.
"Princess, we have arrived at your destination. Come back anytime!"
Brooke nodded to the kappa before exiting the train. "Thank you," she said to the conductor as the train began to leave. She glanced around then made her way across the street towards a large, fancy-looking building with a long line of people waiting to get inside.
"You came!" Mysterion jumped down from part of the roof and approached her.
"Of course I came, dummy! I had to take the Skeleton Train though, because I've never even heard of this place. Took like five minutes to get here…"
"Five minutes?! It took me at least twenty! And that's after I hitched a ride on top of a car."
"Uh…"
"Heyyyyy!"
"Heyyyyyyyyyy!"
Charles and Lamar popped out of the ground beside them.
Mysterion jumped. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Stalking – OW!" Lamar elbowed Charles. "Er, I mean, we came for the nachos."
"Whatever. We don't have time for your games. We have to save my sister!"
Lamar gasped. "Sacrebleu!"
"Karen's in trouble?!" Charles said. "We wanna help!"
"You – You do?"
"Yeah!" Lamar said. "We like that kid!"
"Well, then come on."
The banshees pulled themselves free of the ground and followed on all fours after them into the building. Mysterion went over to a balcony to look around. Brooke and Charles joined him while Lamar got distracted by a hand puppet show that some kids were watching.
"There!" Mysterion pointed. "Oh no! They're already beginning the transformation."
Karen was sitting at a long table off to the side with many other kids. All of the kids had black or brightly-colored dyed hair and were dressed in similarly colored clothes with accessories like leggings, fishnet sleeves, spiked collars and bracelets, face makeup and plastic fangs. Karen was wearing similar clothes.
"Huh?" Brooke squinted. "Those aren't vampires. Those are just –"
"Lame vamp kids," Charles finished.
"Exactly!" Mysterion said. "We can't let her become one of those lame weirdos. I'll never forgive myself if that happens…"
"Sheesh," Brooke sighed. "She's just at a party? You had me thinking she was in mortal peril."
"She might as well be! Look, we can't get in without tickets, and uh… Well, I've never been here before because it's too expensive."
"Wendy's is too expensive for you," Lamar said as he rejoined them.
He muttered something under his breath.
"Don't worry about it," Brooke told him. "I'll pay."
He winced. "Are you sure? Because I will probably, most definitely, NEVER be able to pay you back."
"Money's not an issue. Um, for me, I mean."
"Hey Lamar," Charles said. "Why aren't any of these humans freaking out about us?"
"Huh… Either the food is just so good that they're too distracted…OR they're just that dumb."
"Probably both."
Brooke returned with two tickets and brought them over to the man at the podium. "Er, what about…them?"
She glanced back at her banshees. "Those are…animatronic toys. Um, you know. For the party."
"Ah, I see. Well, enjoy your time here."
"Wow!" Lamar said as they entered the main area of the restaurant. "This place is awesome!"
There was a large fake cliff with a waterfall that led to a big pool at the base. Every now and then, a woman in a bikini would dive from the top into the pool. There appeared to be an arcade over to one side of the restaurant as well as a few other attractions all around the edges of the dining area.
"Snap out of it!" Mysterion fussed. "Look, Karen's over there!" He ran over to the party table. "Get away from the girl!"
The vamp kids hissed at him.
"Guardian Angel," Karen was surprised.
"Guardian – Oh my gosh," Brooke suddenly put something together. "That is so cute."
"Brooke?" Karen tilted her head. "What are you doing with my Guardian Angel?" She looked at her wings and gasped. "Are YOU an angel, too?"
"Uh…actually…yes. Something like that."
"And the fairies are here, too!"
"We told you," Lamar said. "We are NOT fairies! But yes, we're here, too."
"Hellooooo!" Charles smiled.
"Karen," Mysterion said. "We're here to save you."
The boy at the center of the table, Mike, gave him an odd look. "We're just trying to be her friends."
"Then I'm just going to have to beat the crap out of you!"
"Whoa there," Lamar looked surprised. "You want us to beat up children?"
"If you're not going to help, then fine! Shit! They're getting away!"
Mike grabbed Karen by the wrist and ran over to a room and closed the large decorative door behind them.
"Get back here!" He reached out and a black and purple mist-like substance quickly trailed out from his wrist and snatched one of the vamp kids, dragging them over. "What the - !?" In his confusion, the freaked-out kid took the opportunity to ran away again.
Brooke, Charles, and Lamar all stared, stunned at him.
"H-How did I -?"
"It worked!" Charles cheered.
"What worked?"
"The Shadow Potion! Even though it killed you, you still retained the powers from it!" He looked very pleased with himself. "I'm so glad we didn't kill you for nothing!"
"That was…from the potion? How? How did I do that? What even WAS that?"
"Shadow Potion is a Nether specialty," Brooke told him. "It was designed by the Shadow Clan, a group of special, rare monsters that are like physical shadows. They can turn darkness into a physical thing and use it to grab or attack, and they can fade their bodies away into it as well. Basically, Shadow Potion gives the consumer temporary Shadow Clan powers. It's believed to be permanent on humans, but…no human has ever retained the powers since it kills them."
"Shadow Clan are shapeshifters," Charles added. "They don't have true forms and they can take any shape. Er, you won't be able to do that, but you CAN use the Shadow Grasp! You just did it!"
"What else can I do?"
"Hm…well, you should be able to use it like us. You should be able to enter the mist and dash forward a certain distance. It can help you get behind enemies. Neat, huh!?"
"But…how?"
"Well, when you did it just now, you were probably thinking that you wanted to stop or catch that kid, right? That's how magic works. Um, if you have it. All you have to do is want it. Try dashing forward with it!"
"Okay." He lowered himself into a runner's stance and dashed forward. Nothing happened aside from him running face-first into a wall. "Oof!"
"…" Brooke blinked down at him on the floor. "Why would you run at a wall though?"
"My nose is bleeding…" He was curled up in pain and holding his nose.
"Aw, it's okay." She knelt beside him and patted his back.
"Hey!" Lamar said. "He's getting Princess pats!"
"We want Princess pats!"
"Not now." She helped Mysterion up. "We're supposed to be getting Karen, remember?"
"She went in there." He went over to the big door and tried to open it. "It's locked!"
"Hey, look what I found!" Charles leapt over to him with something in his mouth.
Mysterion took it and looked it over. "Some kind of medallion."
"Oh, hey!" A chubby man came over to them. "You guys found one of the secret scavenger hunt vampire relics! Find three more to get into the special party room, it's VIP only. Cool, huh? I came up with it myself. We like to have fun here."
"But my sister's in there!"
"Sorry, this door has a vampire protection spell. You'll have to finish the scavenger hunt to get it open."
He sighed. "All right, let's go find the rest of those stupid relics. I saw a bunch of vamp kids hanging around the arcade. We should start there."
Charles and Lamar exchanged excited looks before bolting over towards the arcade. Brooke and Mysterion followed at a normal pace. He paused briefly to admire as she spread her broad wings in a big, long stretch before flapping them once and folding them back neatly behind her. He felt a wave of heat blow over him from her movement.
"Your wings, uh, they're really hot. Uh! I-I mean, they're warm! They give off a heat!"
"Being of fire, remember?"
"R-Right! Yeah." He cleared his throat.
They entered the arcade to find a several kids playing games, including Charles and Lamar who were playing some kind of shooting game. Mysterion snatched up a vamp kid by the collar.
"Where is the relic?"
"Beyond your reach, mortal! It's behind the counter, and you'll never win enough tickets to get it!"
"Got it!" Charles said.
"Huh?!"
The banshees were carrying huge piles of tickets in their arms; Lamar had the relic, a red chalice made to look like a skeleton hand holding a cup, in his jaws. Mysterion dropped the kid and went over to them, excitedly rubbing their heads.
"Great job!"
"It's not Princess pats," Lamar said around the object, "but we like it anyway!"
Mysterion and Brooke left, and as the banshees made to follow, they stopped to look over at a kid crying in the corner. "I want the bear with the sombrero!"
"Hey, kid!" Charles called him over."
He sniffed. "What?"
The banshees dropped their loads of tickets in his arms. "We don't need this, so here you go."
"Get as many sombrero bears as you want!"
They left and found Brooke and Mysterion waiting for them by an attraction called 'Black Bart's Cave.' "What's in there?" Lamar asked, the chalice still in his mouth.
Brooke shrugged. "I don't know, but Lamar, I need you to go to the taco bar on the other side of this place and beat up the guy in the gorilla suit."
"Huh!?"
"Or, you know, just steal the relic from him. It looked like a pair of arm stockings or something. Charles, you come in here with us."
Lamar ran off in the opposite direction while they entered the artificial cave. The interior was designed to resemble an old mineshaft that led further back into a large fake cavern where there was a plastic skeleton wearing a pirate's hat that was leaning against a huge pile of fake gold and plastic gems. There was a sign beside it that read, 'You found it! Black Bart's Loot!'
"Wow," Charles remarked. "That's the biggest pile of lies I've ever seen. Eek!" He dove beneath the ground and disappeared at the sounds of hissing all around.
"Get away from our gold, mortals!" Several vamp kids jumped out from behind cardboard stalagmites.
"Give us the relic!" Mysterion demanded.
"Mortals?" Brooke echoed quietly.
"Ohhhh," a black adult male stepped out as well. "You want this shit right here, nigga?" He was holding up a tiny vial of a red glitter-like substance. "Well you goin' have to pry it from our cold, dead hands. 'Cause us vamp kids stick together. Right vamp kids?"
"Y-Yeah!"
"Come on! Let's fuck these bitches up!"
One of the vamp kids ran over and scratched at Mysterion's face with sharp, fake claws. "Ow!"
"Yeah, nice one, nigga!" the man cheered. He swung at Brooke who blocked it with a wing.
"Oh HELL no! Charles!"
Charles burst out from the floor directly behind Mysterion. The banshee was hunched protectively over him, his claws at the ready. "Okay!" he said, as if he knew exactly what she wanted. "Bone shield!"
"Bone – Sweet!" Mysterion grinned and punched the vamp kid. To add insult to injury, Charles swung his claws at the kid after and threw him back into another kid."
Brooke raised her arms and large skeleton arms burst from the floor with a sickly cracking sound to slash at the rest of the kids and the man.
Mysterion looked stunned. "Dude! Could you always do that?!"
"Duh," she replied. "I'm the Angel of Death, dummy."
The kids had all been knocked out or ran off, but the man was still standing. He balled his fist up and swung hard at Mysterion, but it was blocked by Charles' ribcage. The banshee showed no reaction while the man shouted with pain.
"Oh shit! Those bones are like rocks!"
"I've been eating my vitamins and minerals," Charles smiled. "Also, I'm made of magic."
Mysterion took the opportunity to jump up and dropkick the man in the stomach, causing him to fall and drop the relic.
"No way some pajama-wearin' muthafucka killed my ass!"
"Ugh," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Get that stupid 'relic' and let's go."
They met up with Lamar by the VIP room door. He had the chalice in his jaws and a pair of arm stockings dangling from a bottom fang. "Oh, heyyyyyy!"
"Heyyyyyyyy!" Charles bounded over to him. "I helped beat-up children and a weird adult!"
"Neat! I got body slammed by a man in a gorilla suit!"
"Oh hey," the chubby man from earlier met them at the door. "Looks like someone collected all the vampire relics! Congratulations! I wonder what kind of magical powers will be unleashed. Oh! Something's happening! I can feel…ooh, I can feel – it's happening in my pocket!" He produced a key from his pocket. "Wow! You broke the spell and made this key appear in my pocket!" He unlocked the door. "Now go on in and enjoy the party, kids. Make sure you stop by the clamato fountain and take pictures. I set it up myself. It's really cool."
The two kids and banshees entered the dimly-lit room to find a large black banner draped across the wall reading 'Happy Birthday Mike Makowski!' There was a fake coffin off to the side with party grab-bags in it, and the entire room was decorated with candles, fake bats, and similar styled decorations.
"Karen!" Mysterion said. She was standing with a bunch of other vamp kids around a clamato juice fountain.
Brooke wrinkled her nose at the smell of the liquid.
"Guardian Angel!" Karen said. "Please don't hurt my friends."
"They're not your friends. You're just under their spell. Otherwise you'd see how completely fucking lame they are!"
Charles and Lamar looked like they wanted to say something but held their tongues after noticing that Brooke was only observing with silent interest.
"You've gone too far, mortal!" Mike said. "You've laid eyes upon the Blood Fountain of Eternal Life. Now, you must die!"
Charles snarled at the boy as he made to move closer to them.
"Charles," Karen pleaded. "Don't hurt them!"
He faltered and looked confused. "Er…" He looked back at Brooke but she only continued to observe.
"It's not fair," Mike said. "This is my party and you guys are ruining it. You're not even supposed to be here!"
"Whatever," Mysterion said. "Come on Karen, let's get out of here."
"No, Guardian Angel!" She went over to Mike's side. "I won't let you ruin his birthday party! Come on, Mike. Through here!" She led him through a door in the back of the room.
"Damn it! We have to break that spell!"
"What spell?" Brooke asked and followed him through the door anyway.
They appeared to be behind the big fake cliff and its waterfall. There was a ladder leading up to a metal platform and a set of stairs, but some vamp kids had raised the ladder out of their reach after ascending to join Karen and Mike.
"They think that'll hinder us?" Lamar laughed. "We can fly!" With a few flaps of their wings, the banshees had taken to the air.
"Uh," Mysterion said. "But I can't –"
Charles had grabbed him by the shoulders and lifted him from the floor. Brooke watched them ascend for a moment before spreading her large red wings and lifting from the ground with a single powerful flap to join them at the top. She landed lightly beside them and refolded her wings, returning to silent observation as she followed them up the stairs.
"Karen," Mysterion said as they stepped out onto the top of the cliff. "They've tricked you into thinking vamp kids are cool. You have to snap out of it!"
"They didn't trick me," she turned to him. "They ARE cool."
"See?" Mike said. "She wants to be with us. So, why don't you just leave us alone?"
He growled. "Enough! This ends now!"
"You fools… You thought my stepson was the master vampire… But it was me all along!" The chubby man from earlier stepped out. He was now wearing a blonde mullet wig and false fangs. "Just like in the classic vampire film The Lost Boys. Pretty cool, huh, Mike? I dressed up like Kiefer Sutherland and I'm all like, hey, I'm the master vampire! This is the coolest birthday party ever, isn't it, Mike?"
"No," Mysterion said. "It's NOT cool. Nothing about a vampire-themed party is cool. It's fucking dumb as shit!"
Lamar leaned over to whisper to Charles, "Bet he wouldn't say that to a REAL vampire."
"Not on the Princess' watch he wouldn't."
"No, it's not dumb," the man said. "It's a really fucking sweet party! So shut up. Besides, I have one more surprise for the birthday boy and it's really supercool. A celebrity guest!" He started waving his arms in an odd, circular fashion.
"What is he doing?"
"Uh-oh," Lamar said. "Is he gonna…"
"Dark forces of Hollywood, hear me! Open the portal to Hell!"
"Yup," Charles sighed. "He is…"
"Release the spirit of our celebrity guest… Corey Haim, everybody!" A rift opened. "It worked! Come on, Corey Haim, follow the sound of my voice."
"I'm coming!" A high-pitched voice called back as someone began to appear. "Weehee! I'm here! Yay! Casa Bonita! Shamone!"
"Uh," Brooke made a disturbed face. "That is NOT Corey Haim."
"What, hey, no," Mike's stepdad said. "You're not supposed to be here. You're not the star of the eighties classic The Lost Boys."
"Ooh, lost boys? Where? I'll find them! Come on, let's go play!" He grabbed Karen by the arm and leapt from the cliff. "Weeee!"
"Karen!" Mysterion shouted and jumped after them.
Brooke exchanged a look with her banshees before the three of them used their wings to fly down. They met him as he pulled himself free of the water.
"Get him!" he coughed.
"No," the man said. "You're being ignorant! I'm so tired of people being…IGNORANT."
"Corey Haim is…kind of scary," Karen said.
"That's not Corey Haim," Lamar said. "That's Mi-"
"IGNORANT!" The man's body faded, leaving only his soul, which flew over and dove into Karen.
She screamed as the soul entered her body. "W-What's…happening?!"
"He's possessing Karen!" Mysterion said.
"TOO FAR!" Brooke summoned her scythe and charged them.
Mysterion gasped. "Angel – Brooke, wait!"
She had already slashed the spectral blade through the younger girl's body, but it had only passed harmlessly through her while snagging onto the man's soul and tearing it from her body. Brooke slammed the soul down and Lamar pounced on it and devoured it; it appeared in his ribcage moments after.
"Get that freak back to Hell where he belongs!"
"Yes, Princess!" Lamar disappeared.
"W-What just happened?" Karen looked over herself.
"Karen! Are you okay?" Mysterion ran over to her.
"I think so…I can't believe I ever wanted to be friends with those weirdos."
"I told you! What took you so long to realize?"
"I just wanted to have some friends to play with," she explained. "My brother – he's my best friend, but he's always too busy lately to hang out with me."
"Oh! Uh, w-well I'll have a talk with him. I'll make sure he spends more time with you. I promise."
"Really? Thanks, Guardian Angel!" She hugged him tightly.
"Wow," Charles said. "Someone's been a real shitty big brother."
Mysterion shot him a glare.
"What? Just saying. You – er, HE'S nothing like Des- ahhhhh n-n-never mind!" He quivered and glanced worriedly at Brooke.
She said nothing about it but smirked a tiny bit.
Karen released him and went over to Brooke. "Wow, Brooke." She reached out and pressed her hands into Brooke's feathered wings then gasped. "They're real! You really ARE an angel!"
"Uh," she huffed with amusement. "Yeah…at least, I'm supposed to be. Come on, let's get some sopaipillas and get out of here. By the way, Karen. Anytime you're feeling lonely or need someone to play with, you can call for Charles and Lamar. They'll come right away."
"Okay!" Karen grabbed her hand then grabbed Mysterion's hand with her other one as they left. "I can't wait to play with my brother."
"Yeah," Mysterion said. "I'm sure he's excited, too."
"You think so?"
"I know so.
To be continued…
