Hey, everyone, Hazel here again. It's day 5 in Paris, and after breakfast, we decide to figure out what today's going to bring,
"I read there were some architectural tours we can catch,"says Augustus.
"Sure," I agree.
We can pretty much walk anywhere here even though Gus does have to rest occasionally. It doesn't slow us down much because we spend the time casually chatting. Isn't it strange how 3 minutes with the wrong person feels like 30 years but 3 minutes with the right one feels like 3 seconds? Anyway, we spend most of the day checking out the architectural splendor of the city and time passes as if we are still in that invisible 3rd space that used to exist when I would call Augustus on the phone. It's funny because I never thought I'd feel that again, and yet here we are.
By 6 PM Paris time, we're both starving, so Augustus asks, "Ready for dinner?"
"Definitely."
We find a little outdoor cafe and settle in. The night is still and not even the birds are interrupting.
"Wow," says Gus, "It's very silent tonight."
"Yeah, is that a bad sign?"
He laughs. "I doubt it," he answers.
"I wonder how Kait and Isaac are managing."
"They seemed okay this morning."
"I wonder if they will have kids one day."
"Oh, definitely."
I laugh. "What are you, psychic now?"
"Possibly." Gus laughs, too, and his smile lights his eyes in the childlike way I'd seen on the first flight to Amsterdam, which makes me smile more. There's something about the moments where is excitement shines through that make me fall in love just a little more every time it happens.
We have some shrimp pasta and then share a slice of the moistest chocolate cake in the history of anything, "Mmm," we both enthuse,
"This is really good," I say.
"Yes, for sure," Augustus agrees.
"Want to marry this one, too?" I ask. Laughing.
He chuckles, but shakes his head and says, "Nah. I've already got the best one."
I smile and give him a quick kiss before answering "Aww, thanks."
He later pulls my chair out and we head back to the room after paying the check. We read to the girls, and after they're all snuggled down, Kaitlyn asks, "Hazel, can... can we talk?
"Sure, Kait. What's wrong? Are the girls okay?
"Yes, they're fine. It's Isaac. He's getting kind of depressed and panicky about being blind after the operation."
"Well, I'd say his response is fairly appropriate. Expected, even."
"Yes, but... what do I do?"
"You're doing more than you know just by being there. I think the scariest part of being sick or hurt is the fear that one day, you might be sick or hurt while you're completely alone with no one there to help or to even try to understand. You haven't run screaming in the other direction, and I'm sure that is huge for him. Sickness has a habit of scaring people off, and I think he may be afraid that after he's blind, you may reconsider your promise to stay."
"I wouldn't. He knows I meant it."
"His logical side may know that, but the anxious, emotional side may not. He's facing a huge life change here,"
"So how do I help?"
"Reassurance. He's gonna get panicky and scared, especially at first. After my transplant, all I could think was, "Oh, no. What if these lungs suck, too? What if I still die? What if I need another new pair?" I'd wake up panicking and in the worst cold sweats, and Gus would hold me and make me realize that whatever happened, he'd be here for. Isaac doesn't need grand and romantic. He just needs you, Kait. Keep letting him know he has that if nothing else."
She smiles and says, "Very wisely put, Hazel. Thanks for the advice."
"No problem," I tell her before we end the call. I see Augustus is watching me with one of his patented crooked grins, so I ask, "How long have you been standing there?
"Awhile," he says, wrapping his arms around my middle.
"Okay?"
"Okay."
