Lincoln Loud: Substitute Sister
"Thanks Boo-Boo-Bear…" 'Lori' purred, before ending the call.
The far shorter, and less voluptuous (but somehow oddly attractive) 'Lori' turned to Luan. "All right, Bobby's going to be at Burpin' Burger in an hour- oof!"
The dressed up boy found himself suddenly drawn into a bone-crushing hug by his jokester elder sister. "Thanks Linc- Lori's never gonna see it coming!"
"That's the plan…" he wheezed, before pushing her away enough to breathe. "But a deal's a deal-"
"Yeah, yeah," Luan dropped him on his surprisingly plush butt and fished out a set of convention tickets from her drawer. "You and Clyde have fun nerding out!"
"We sure will!" Lincoln practically snatched the tickets from Luan's hand with glee. "And don't forget-"
"You were never any part of this," Luan smirked as she rubbed her hands together in anticipation for the prank she would unleash. "Don't worry- I'm no snitch!"
Alas; it turned out that Luan was indeed a snitch.
Her prank had needed Lori and Bobby together at the Burpin' Burger, and while it had been pulled off perfectly (as the now bleached hair and skin of both teenagers could attest), the enraged Lori had had many questions for the younger girl. Like 'how did you fake me on a video call?' for example.
To be fair, Luan had put up a good effort at first- implying that Lisa might have been indirectly responsible for providing perfect deep-fake technology. But an examination of Luan's phone bearing no such advanced program merely infuriated the eldest enough to first Pretzel Luan so far Lynn nearly vomited and then cause her to break out the big guns;
"All right you psychotic bitch!" Lori's eyes bore a mad grin to accompany her savage smile- made all the worse as the light of a nearby flame illumined her powder-white skin, every inch of her bleached by Luan's ill-measured cocktail of 'fun'. "Spill or the puppet gets it!"
"You wouldn't!" Luan gasped as Lori held Mr Coconuts by the ankles over her impromptu barrel fire.
"I wouldn't put money on those odds toots!" Mr Coconuts interjected, mouth somehow moving without Luan's visible assistance.
"Uhhh…" Luan sweated, and her eyes darted to her nervous looking parents. "A-a little help here, guys?"
"We've always let you girls sort things out between yourselves sweetie." Rita pointedly stepped back, pulling her hunched over husband with her to stand closer to the family currently gathered in their back yard. "Y-you just need to let her know how you did it anyway!"
"Yeah," Lori's smile widened she started lowering the puppet closer to the flames. "Hear that April Fools bitch? Time to roast some nuts."
"AHHH!" Mr Coconuts cried out as the flames started darkening his varnish. "That wordplay was as bad as this feels! Ow! No, no, actually this is still worse."
Luan bit her lip, eyes darting between Mr Coconuts and Lincoln. Lincoln was her only brother and he'd helped her out more times than she could remember. But Mr Coconuts was someone special!
"Hmmm," Lori breathed in the scent as smoke started rising. "I sure hope it was worth making me and Bobby look like one of Lincoln's stupid comic villains- because in a minute Mr Cocouts is gonna be Mr Charcoal!"
"ARGHH!' Mr Coconuts cried out. "They always told me my hair looked flaming- but this ridiculous!"
Lori scowled, and pointedly lowered the puppet another inch.
"OOHH!" Luan broke. "IT WAS LINCOLN ALL RIGHT!"
And like that, Lincoln was Pretzeled so badly that he couldn't go to his con anyway.
But after the healing period, there were some upsides of a sort.
"Okay Dude- do me next!" Luna cheered, approximately one week after Lori was Bleached, and he disfigured.
The boy rolled his eyes, then pulled out his 'Luna' outfit from The Trunk. It took only a second to assume the form of the Rocker, and the boy coughed into his hand to prepare what he assumed Luna was about to say; "like- this is totally radical dudes, I'm here- but I'm also over there!"
"Wooooh!" Luna gasped, then pointed at him excitedly. "That's exactly what I was gonna say- how'd you know?"
Luna pulled off the Luna wig, "I've lived with you guys for my entire life, I've had practice trying to get in your heads."
"You've really gotten better with the voices too!" Luan complimented, "if you weren't so short, you could probably fool people into thinking you were us!"
There was a low of murmur as speculation popped up through Lori's room, the siblings gathered there in a meeting that had gone either very wrong or all too right.
"I don't know Luan," Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I already kind of tried something like that with Lynn and it didn't go so well."
"Yeah, but that was Lynn pretending to be you," Luna pointed out. "Sure, she kinda fits 'cause she's a shortie-"
"Hey!"
"And totes has a flat chest!" Leni 'helpfully' intervened. "She's like; totally perfect for pretending to be a boy!"
Lynn glowered at her elder, but sourly relented upon finding no malice in expression "Thanks Leni."
The words came through grit teeth.
"And let us not forget the 'Spring Cleaning' incident." Lisa piped up with a raised finger, lest someone else jab Lynn's ego once more. "I for one have no wish to attend my classes dressed as a clown twice."
"I thought you were dressed as Luan though?" Leni asked confusedly.
"You thought correctly." Lisa primly replied.
Luan just smiled.
"Whatever," Lori snapped, less than enthused with Lincoln's 'advancements' in mimicking them for obvious reasons. "The Twerp's already caused enough trouble- maybe we should just cut it here before something else happens?"
She pointedly glared at Luan, whose smile trembled a bit as she remembered why Mr Coconuts had needed a new paintjob.
"But just think about it!" Luna jumped up, "we've all got stuff we gotta do right? But a lot of that time could be…"
She pointed at Lisa, "science time!"
"I do have a theorem to disprove," Lisa tapped her chin.
Luna grinned and moved onto Lola, "or pageant practice time!"
"Oh you silly…" Lola chuckled, then suddenly turned serious. "Tell me more."
"Or mud puddle jumping time!"
"Sounds gross- I'm in!"
"Luce-"
"Yes."
"… Okay then, Lynn you can't tell me you don't wanna go train some more for next week's game!"
Lynn gave a savage smile, "you know it- gonna bring down the Baldwin Bulls with my own two hands!"
"Luan-"
Luan was still smiling.
"… Leni! Your mates are always wantin' you to go places right?"
Leni nodded happily. "Oh totally, like; this Tuesday Fiona wanted to go shopping, but Jackie really wanted to go see this play with me- so we had to draw straws and mine was totally the best because of all my drawing practice at school so-"
"But what if you didn't have to draw straws!" Luna insisted. "Imagine if there were two of you- and you didn't have to disappoint anyone!"
"I disappointed someone?" Leni's lower lip trembled, the firmed up with resolution; "who? I've totally got to make it to them!"
Luna backed away, and quickly turned to Lori, "and-"
"Save it!" Lori put her hand up. "Me and Bobby literally spent the least week covered in Lisa's regrowth formula so we wouldn't look like Albinos for the rest of our lives- there's nothing-"
Her phone suddenly rang.
"- Give me a moment." The teen pulled her phone from her oddly spacious shorts pocket. "Hello who is? Oh Mr- you need me to come in when? But I'm not on for Frida- I know I- oh… uh…."
Her eyes darted to Lincoln, "… could I use my brother to sub in again?" Lori winced as sharp, but 'polite' voice snapped a rapid barrage at her. "I understand… I'll be there. Than-"
The line went dead, and a sour faced Lori slipped the phone back into her pants. "Well I guess I'm not going to Bobby's this Friday after all."
"Why not Dude?" Luna excitedly spayed both hands at Lincoln. "We've got your solution right here!"
"Didn't you hear my boss?" Lori rolled her eyes. "Apparently there's laws against 'employing children' like that- the company's still in hot water after last time. I can't swap with someone who doesn't work at Gus' anymore."
"Yeah, but what if you didn't have to? Because you were already there!" Luna grinned, still indicating towards Lincoln (who seemed a little confused himself). "You get me Bruh?"
Lori facepalmed. "And how exactly is he going to pull off me? It doesn't matter how well he does my voice; That stupid Trunk isn't going to work if people can actually see how small he is!"
"Maybe we could say Leese screwed up again and turned you into a shortie!" Lana suggested with a grin.
"Close Bruv!" Luna snapped her fingers at the tomboy, "but no guitar. Brainbox, couldn't you work some'a your techno-wizardry and make Linc a little more 'Lori'?"
"Hmm…" Lisa tapped her chin in thought. "Perhaps… what exactly are you proposing?"
"Well, Linc can pull us all off easy enough- but the real problem's that he's too short to pull off any of us big girls!" Luna held her hand at Lincoln height, then used her other for her own. "But you could whip up some kind of adult-juice stuff that could make 'im big, problem solved!"
"If by problem solved you mean stuffing a presumably masculine adult version of our brother into a variety of feminine clothing and hoping to pass for one of you before somehow losing half his body weight in one day to return to his usual size presumably sans side effects, then that's certainly a viable 'problem solver'". Lisa dryly summarised, and the rest of the room winced at the idea of a stubbly faced Lincoln walking around in Lori's clothes. "But perhaps a simpler solution would be some robotic limbs encased in a convincing skin substitute to fool any casual onlookers."
"You mean like some kind of mecha hands!?" Lincoln's eyes practically had stars in them, "like Super-Cyborg 555!?"
"These prosthetics would be presumably detachable," Lisa emphasised. "But otherwise; yes. I could probably build a set to Lori's dimensions well before Friday, and if all goes well- sets for the remaining three elders of greater heights should no problem."
"Wait, wait, wait." Lori held up her hands to put a pause to the nonsense. "I haven't even agreed to anything yet! If this goes wrong then I'm literally fired! Like; actually unemployed!"
"A fair point," Lisa admitted. "The household finances are quite stretched even with the meagre offset Lori's paycheck provides to the costs incurred by her excessive phone bills-"
"Hey!" Lori flushed.
"Isn't that what horses eat?" Leni wondered aloud.
"But!" Lisa interjected. "Should this 'scheme' be a successful 'test run', it would allow Lincoln to effectively replace any of Elder Sister Units as necessary, and offer a wide range of flexibility to all of our schedules."
"But what about us?" Lola piped up, "no one's going to buy us having a growth spurt and shrinking again!"
"I believe that you largely will not be requiring Lincoln's services as you already have each other for such purposes. However, a simple set of false platform shoes for each twin's disguise would fool any casual observer if need be," Lisa pushed up her glasses. "Assuming that Lincoln's acting skills are enough to avoid arousing any suspicion in the first place of course. That said; myself and Lily would be exceptions in either case due to Lily's size and my own unparalleled intellect making any substitution impractical, but for the majority of the Sibling Units assembled I see no reason that this 'scheme' could not be enacted-"
"Except that I'm not agreeing to anything!" Lori interrupted. "Seriously, this is my first real job- losing it because of one of Lincoln's stupid scams isn't going to look good on my college application!"
Luna raised a finger to oppose Lori, but drooped down after a moment of thought, "yeah actually; that's kind of a deal breaker-"
"Nonsense!" Lisa declared. "Should this test succeed Lori very well may be able to improve her current 'adequate' academic scores through increased study time- and if worst comes to worst I assure you that I can make… 'arrangements' to ensure that no such incident will ever appear on your academic record. Or any other for that matter."
"Would those 'arrangements' be mind control?" Lori asked flatly, well versed in Lisa brand of bullshit after four years thereof.
"… Yes."
"Okay; fine then." Lori sighed. "But mark my words, this is going to go horribly wrong. Like; 'going in The Rules not to even think about trying again' wrong."
Everything went wonderfully right!
It only took Lisa a few hours to make some properly functional limbs that Lincoln could slip into, and then the next few afternoons to get used to walking around and working with them.
Come Friday, one Lori Loud found herself staring at a disturbingly accurate version of herself getting ready to go to work.
"Like, I'm totally ready for this!" 'Lori' put her hands on her hips, then looked at herself with a smug smile. "Go have fun me, you know you've earnt it."
"You're literally not wrong," Lori hesitated before grabbing the keys to Vanzilla. "But remember, if you slip up then Lisa will literally brain blast the planet again."
"Yeah, yeah; I know." Lori shuddered in dissonance as Lincoln's little boy-voice came through 'her' mouth. "Don't worry about it; the Man with a P-"
"Okay I'm literally leaving so I don't panic at hearing you finish that." Lori practically herself out the door. Moment's later Vanzilla's engine roared to life and the vehicle pulled out in front of the house, Lori stopping just a moment to stick her head out and yell; "DON'T MESS UP!"
"I LITERALLY WON'T!" Came back her own voice, a cheeky grin on her face as 'she' waved back from the front door.
Lori withered at the sight of 'herself' again and sped off lest she hear Lincoln's uncanny impression once more. "It's literally like that one movie with the plant people replacing the real thing- but at least now I can see my Boo-Boo-Bear again!" She sighed in relief, then frowned as something occurred to her. "Wait- where'd he get the clothes from?"
From her closet of course, after all; where else were they going to get her work clothes?
But whatever irritation she felt upon that realisation vanished when she parked home and found a smug and freshly re-Lincolnified brother with none of his 'Lori attachments' sitting on their porch. In his hands was her paycheque, with a bonus for 'her performance at rush hour' as Lincoln put it.
Lori was very on board with the program after that.
And what a program it was;
Everyone had a use for a doppelganger at some point and Lincoln?
Lincoln was a kind boy.
Lincoln was a good brother, but Lincoln was also had a greed borne from a life of constant competition for resources- or being trampled over and knocked unconcious over mere cents-And so he gleefully took the chance to exchange one favour for another with his usual scheming opportunism. Thus, Royal Woods routinely doubled up on a Loud sister for the next few weeks;
Leni needed to two difference places with two different friends? Easy!
"Like, this is totally the best Movie place ever!" 'Leni' exclaimed with joy- the actual Leni's notes having detailed exactly what she wanted to do with Jackie this weekend.
In Leni of course, a good thing Lincoln was fluent
"I completely get that!" Jackie nodded, "how do you even find these places?"
"Like, in the Mall or course!"
Luna wanted to go to a concert? No problem, 'Luna' would clearly walk through the door exactly five minutes before curfew to bid her parents goodnight- and real thing could sneak in long after their parents had ceased their careful watch.
"Cutting it close there Lunes." Dad gently reprimanded, but his features lightened up. "But I'm happy to see you getting home on time, you make an old man worried!"
"Aww, you know I'm not about that dangerous stuff Popstar!" Luna's rough voice emitted from the boy's throat, barely a hint away from the real thing. "You know me, it's just about the music!"
Luan was double booked? Lincoln might not have had her sheer experience to do her job perfectly, but with a little coaching he was passable.
"Look's like, that's a wrap!" 'Luan' took a bow, and suddenly 'found' herself tripping over some mysteriously placed ribbons. The performer stumbled forwards and backwards, somehow getting the ribbons tied around 'her' until 'she' had no choice but fall down in a nigh-hogtied mess with a whumphf.
The audience was silent, until 'she' suddenly looked up at them with a grin "geddit!?"
Lynn wanted to get a little more practice in? Lola's upcoming pageant had some weird skill she had to master? Lana just wanted to play in the dirt some more?
Lincoln Loud; Substitute Sister was the solution!
Unfortunately for him, he might have played his role a little too well. For while his services may have been restricted to the house residents, it wasn't long before more than the sisters knew of his 'talents'.
First it was Sam, who went pale when she realised her cute girlfriend's backside hadn't grown that much more plush- and in turn that she'd been putting the moves on an eleven-year-old boy.
Next it was Lynn Sr's turn, during the first and last time that Lincoln pretended to be his mother.
The two Loud males would sadly never forget their first kiss.
She could just go back to jail for her alone time again from now on.
Finally, Bobby's wandering hands during a 'substitute date' (when Lori actually had to study for a test that week but couldn't bring herself to cancel) brought out the truth.
Lincoln froze as a hand started creeping up the prosthetic leg, fingertrails registering as Lisa's nerve simulation technology made the false thigh feel as real as his own, "uhh, Boo-Boo-Bear?" 'Lori's' voice came out shakily as 'her' eyes diverted from the movie screen. "Don't you think you're getting a little too into the-"
"It's okay babe," Bobby turned to 'her' with a playful tone. "It's just the-"
His fingers brushed up just a little too far, actually far too far considering Lori's usual dimensions and discovered not only a seam where Lincoln's legs met the false ones but a distinctly unfeminine protrusion.
"… Umm…" Lincoln's mind raced. "… I've got a heavy flow so I need a big pa-"
Bobby pressed a finger to 'Lori's' lips, eyes shining for some reason. "Don't worry Babe- I'm not judging. We can make it work."
"Oh that's…" 'Lori' smiled shakily. "Wonderful Boo-Boo-Bear!"
It was not wonderful. Neither was the resulting petting session, the rather embarrassing debriefing he had to give to Lori or especially the extraordinarily painful Pretzeling he got for the second time in a month upon revealing that Bobby was now thoroughly convinced Lori had a penis.
Baby Boogaloo Omake: Lisa Loud the Broodmother.
It was a bitterly cold Michigan afternoon, made all the worse as The Loud House was an old and much abused structure that needed constant patching up to avoid nasty drafts. It was also emotionally cold as the final nail into the coffin of one Lisa Loud's hopes was driven in.
"… nah," Luna shook her head as she clasped her hands over her stomach. "This is weird. I don't give a shit what you've got on the table- I don't even care that me an' Sam were thinking about kids. I'm not givin' birth to my own brother's kids!"
The sentiment echoed around the table, the assorted many sisters who had suffered the poke of pregnancy from Lisa's machine all sat resolute save Lynn- who was clearly widened with her own progeny.
Along with Lisa and Lily, it looked like she was the only one who would be bearing the subjects to 'full fruition' as it were.
"Sorry Lisa, but it seems like you'll have to respect your sisters wishes." Rita Loud nodded firmly. "Their bodies, their choices. Maybe this will finally teach you to respect that."
On some level Lisa understood. Her sibling units had voiced their displeasure of her methods long before they'd achieved adulthood, and long before she'd undergone her scheme to push the boundaries of humanity.
But hadn't her more direct approach paid off? Look at what she had achieved through her lifespan; Cryogenics, a perfect Lie detector and Time Travel were all things she'd cracked before Elementary School!
But it seemed the virtues of progress were unappreciated by her many sisters, who had gathered here with their brother and parents to 'discuss the problem' now that they had all fallen prey to their libidinous leisures and the cost her machine had taken in exchange for satisfying them. Not one of the sisters retained their usual slim figures, though some were further along their developments than others.
And now, after a full hour of verbal roasting, heated debates on both sides that were less exchanges of perspectives but yet more petulant emotional discharges- it seemed that the revelation of their progenies' paternity spelt the end of The Project. She could have lied of course, but it would have caused problems in the long run as the children grew to resemble their 'uncle' more than any of the assumed partners- even if Lola, Lynn, Lily and Lincoln could have been bribed into silence to stop the rest from putting the details together.
And now; of the assorted perverts, only two of her nine sisters were willing to carry the subjects to term.
"I don't suppose emphasising the fact that you all used the machine after Lola and Lynn's condition was established would be of any use?" Lisa bitterly put forward. "You have only yourself to blame for-"
"I thought you would use Bobby's!" Lori snapped. "I mean why the fuck wouldn't you?"
"Sully's for me." Luna nodded. " 'Course, if someone else had just let us know whose jizz went into 'em we might not be here anyway!"
Lynn flushed. "Hey; it was a hard thing to bring up!"
Lola laughed at the thought, "Yeah; 'hi guys, guess what?' " The Model put on her best 'endearing voice' with a flutter from her eyes. " 'I'm having kids! But they're not in me, Lisa's a surrogate and you'll never guess who the Daddy is!'." She flumped down, and returned her usual tone. "Seriously; how do you even get started with something like that!?"
"Well maybe you should have tried a little harder," Luan groaned, shifting uncomfortably with her stomach thicker than the other women's despite her younger incubation. "I wasn't pregnant for maybe a month before I got knocked up with quintuplets! The nurses are already giving me funny looks- and not in the good way!"
"Girls!" Rita intervened, "I know today was very difficult for us all- especially you Luan- but you've made your decisions. Lisa has made hers. It's your responsibility what happens now."
There was silence.
Lincoln looked up from a moment from where he sat, but reverted his eyes to the table, half his face visibly bruised from when Ronnie Anne had found out.
They weren't listening to anything he had to say anyway.
Lisa looked around, seeking some weakness in the features of her opposing siblings that she could use to achieve her goals. But there was nothing to be found; the most was from Leni who could only avert her eyes with a furrowed brow.
Fine.
Plan B it was.
She stood up, table legs scraping against the floor as she did. "Very well; if none of you will incubate The Subjects willingly, I do have an alternative."
The sisters looked between each other in confusion, then back to her. A glimmer of recognition crossed Lola's face and her mouth twitched up in a smirk as she realised what was coming.
Luna took the initiative, with a flat stare and cold tone. "An' what would that be? It'd better be good 'cause after what you pulled-"
"I assure you," Lisa declared with stiff lips. "This solution will satisfy both my own goals and rid you of your 'burdens'."
"Eh?" Luna's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How come you didn't start with it then?"
Because becoming a human beachball for months on end was no one's idea of a good time, least of all Lisa Loud's.
"Ya got yourself ready Einstein?" Luan's sadistic grin was twisted into something inhuman as the lights of the machine outlined every gradient and curve of her visage. In her hand was a 'nozzle' with a tube attached to a metal box with purple glowing side vents.
Lisa resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her sibling's antics. The family was now gathered in the basement, the entire location now stripped of the usual accoutrements in favour of a number of odd machines with more tubes and what appeared to be a large water mattress that Lisa now sat upon. The scientist's stomach proudly protruded as she was bare save for a thick, sterile and supportive bra and a matchingly unflattering set of bottoms with glinting metal components.
"One moment please," Lisa sighed, before downing a water bottle filled with something neon green. She'd tried to tell them what it was earlier- but Lily interrupted her with 'it's stretchy tummy formula!' and the family chose to remember that instead of her carefully chosen and informative appellation. The scientist made a face as the fluid went down her throat, then settled down to lean back; allowing Luan easier access as her 'condition' made it difficult to manoeuvre the nozzle to the correct position herself.
She quickly pinched a bit of skin near her stomach, and nodded with satisfaction as the skin stretched like a rubber band- before snapping back perfectly as she let go. "Excellent, my 'formula' is acting as expected. Now listen carefully…"
"Should we really be here?" Lynn Sr whispered to his wife, unable to tear away his eyes from his daughter's 'procedure' despite his words.
There was some kind of mesmerising quality to the whole affair, not unlike a car crash. Though this particular disaster in the making would likely have a net positive to the number of lives involved (in quantity if nothing else).
"Absolutely," Rita nodded firmly. "After what she pulled- we have to make sure she actually follows through on her 'solution'."
"I suppose that's fair honey," The Patriarch winced as Luan pulled away Lisa undergarments to expose her very adult naughty bits directly to the world. "But maybe the kids could have just…"
"… and be sure to give adequate warning-" Lisa stopped as Luan murmured something with a tune to it. "Elder Sibling Unit; are you singing?"
Luan looked Lisa right in the eyes with a grin, her voice rapidly climbing in volume. "… You better not Cry. You better not pout! I'M GOING IN DRY!"
"Wait wah- URGHH!" Lisa gasped as Luan suddenly thrust the nozzle into her unprepared nether regions with all the spite a five fold helping of unwilling incestuous pregnancy could induce. "Ohhhh…"
"Yeah, yeah- take it you incest-crazy bitch!" Luan laughed, then reached over to the close by machine, now holding dozens of tubes in the expanded top, and pressed the 'release' button.
Originally the machine had been coded to release all the pregnancies at once through the Nozzle, which is how three of the four current pregnancies within Lisa Loud had been inserted. However now there was a far greater volume of foetuses to consider, and many at different stages- so each would need an individual 'release'.
WHUMP!
The nozzle jerked, and specs of fluid leaked down from between Lisa's legs while the scientist moaned again.
"Yeah, yeah- doesn't feel too good does it Leese?" Luan cackled. "This things' got a bit of kick to him, doesn't he?" She pressed the release button again- holding the nozzle tightly so that the full force of the insertion went straight into the other woman's cervix.
WHUMP!
"ORGHHHH!" Lisa moaned, and this time a little smirk came across her face. "A-are you sure you are performing the procedure correctly Elder Sibling Unit? I think you might-"
WHUMP!
The scientist jerked and gasped, while Luan's own smile grained an edge. "I dunno, did that feel right?"
Lisa's eyes found the elder's again with a challenge. "I must admit that I barely felt anything at all-"
WHUMP!
WHUMP!
"UUUOOOWWW!" A definite gasp of pleasure erupted from the Genius- and Luan's smile froze as she processed that Lisa Loud was in fact-"
"I-is she getting off on this!?" Luna backed away in disgust. "Dudes this is grotty!"
"Oh yeah- she's totally into this kind of thing!" Lily chirped with a smile. "That's probably why she invited us all to watch."
Shudders went around the room as realisation sank in, and Luan's smile turned upside down.
"Uhh," The Comedienne looked up with desperate eyes- "c-could someone else-"
"Not it."
"No way dude.
"No gonna happen!"
"You demanded this Luan," Rita insisted. "Now I know Lisa is-
"Ohhh," Lisa moaned.
Rita facepalmed "Oh for Gods sake; Lisa could you not!"
Lisa's eyes lazily rolled to Rita, then pointedly rolled away with orgasmic apathy.
"Just get this done." Rita threw her hands up, then snapped to a certain stealthy goth trying to sneak away. "And no one's leaving- we have to make sure she actually follows through on this- she needs to live with the consequences of her actions for once!"
"But Mother," the Goth's mouth was twisted a in sour grimace. "Only a few need suffer to be certa-"
"No; all need to suffer!" Rita's eyes twitched and a growl erupted from her throat. "Your father and I are staying to make sure- and the rest of you jumped on that fucking machine to make this happen so you all get to suffer with us!"
Goth's lips trembled for a moment, then she came to a decision.
She strode up to her mother, now easily as tall as the matriarch. Mother and daughter stared each other down (Lisa growing irritable as she was left with cooling metal in a place that it definitely wasn't meant to be).
Slowly, Lucy raised her hands to her face, then parted her hair- revealing two, breathtakingly beautiful blue eyes- the irises the colour of the sky as the light hit them.
"Holey moley..." Lana gasped. "I-I'd only heard but-"
"They're like sapphires!" Lola drooled.
Similar appreciative sentiments circled the room.
"Mother, this is unnecessary." She pleaded with all the sincerity she could muster. "I know we ask much of you, but I must ask again for the sake of-"
"No." Rita folded her arms, utterly nonplussed. "Don't care about the eyes. Saw them when you were born and I've had enough bullshit from you kids for one day, get back in the Trauma Circle and watch your sister knock up your other sister with your brother's babies."
"Dang it," Lucy sighed, letting her hair obscure the wonderous orbs once more as she trudged back to her spot defeated.
Rita eyed her to make sure that she didn't 'disappear', then snapped to Luan. "I don't hear impregnation happening young woman!"
"But Mom!" Luan complained. "I-"
"Don't but Mom me, you came here with Lincoln's babies inside you because you wanted to use Lisa's Super-Sybian!" Rita growled. "Now get those babies inside her or I swear you're leaving with even more kids than you came in with!"
Luan would have raised her objections at the obvious unfairness of that suggestion- but Rita Loud was clearly in Mom Mode and Luan could only swallow as old instincts told her that discretion was the better part of valour.
"Okay Mom." The meek submission peeped through and she reluctantly pressed the 'release' button.
WHUMP!
"Ahhhh!" New colour flushed Lisa's cheeks where the old had faded.
WHUMP!
"OOOOHHHH!"
"A-are we sure this a good idea?" Lincoln put forward, shuddering again at the antics. "She's clearly-"
"Lisa can probably make you a womb to carry some of your own children." Rita sternly overrode him. "Is that what you're asking for Lincoln?"
Lincoln blanched the colour of his hair. "N-no that's-"
"Good-"
WHUMP!
"Because we are all here to make sure that Lisa takes her 'medicine'-"
WHUMP!
"Ghhhewwweeee!"
"-Like a woman," Rita sighed. "And you all used the machine so you all suffer with us. Okay?"
"… Okay."
It didn't take as long as it felt. Only five minutes to transfer all but Lynn's chosen foetus to Lisa's willing womb- their mothers all parting with the spawn under Lisa's offered solution (even Lily, who had to be reminded that she was living under Rita and Lynn's roof so she had to follow their rules- one of which was no incest pregnancies, with the exception of Lisa by necessity). But it felt like hours.
Hours or not though- it was done.
And Lisa Loud looked like she was already nine months pregnant and ready to pop;
The 'stretchy tummy formula' wasn't applied simply because Lisa wanted to test a new invention- the varying foetuses each had their own developmental stages and sizes- and her stomach only had so much space for viable implantation. Add in that she'd needed to accept a measure of fluid to carry each foetus into her uterus and she was thoroughly bloated now.
Something she'd have to get used to- as the first human mother in history to carry over twenty children to birth.
"Holy shit Leese!" Lynn stared at the younger woman stomach. "You sure you can take this?"
"No, does anyone want theirs back?" Lisa dryly replied.
"I-"
"Don't even think about it." Rita sternly countermanded her youngest.
"… Don't…" Lily sighed.
Lisa merely shrugged in acceptance. "Regardless, I shall be assuming a far greater girth in the coming months in order to successfully incubate all of the subjects- and shall be effectively immobile for that duration."
"Tough break dude…" Lana stared around the room.
"Lana she got you pregnant with Lincoln's kids." Lola sniped.
"Oh right!" Lana nodded. "… Yeah, you had this coming."
"Indeed." Lisa sighed. "At the very least I shall have access to rudimentary entertainment and comprehensive care through my devices- if someone would be kind enough to 'hook me up' as it were anyway."
Lincoln felt eyes upon him.
He looked around and sure enough, everyone was looking at him expectantly. "Oh come-"
"I just had to knock her up with all our kids Lincoln," Luan stared at him with haunted eyes. "I don't even know how I'm gonna explain this to Benny. J-just do your bit okay?"
Lincoln looked at the machines, most of which looked like some kind of vertical water heater with hoses attached- and sighed in defeat. Silently he marched over to the nearest one, marked as 'Sanitation' and grabbed the nozzle.
He quickly pulled the thing towards him, allowing the spool to unravel as he sourly slid onto Lisa's water bed.
Lisa pointed to a mechanical slot affixed to her underwear, right where Lincoln assumed her rectum to be.
"These 'undergarments' contain a special port that allows for-"
"Is this a diaper with a hose to suck the nasty stuff out?" Lincoln bluntly asked.
Lisa hesitated. "W-well that's a very simple and incomprehensive summary that disregards all of the innovations that allow for-"
"That's a yes." Lincoln poked the nozzle towards the port, and the thing was pulled in by some magnetic force from his hands. There was an echoing click, and the machine in the corner flashed on.
"Very well," the slightly put off Lisa uttered.
The family stood there awkwardly.
"So… are we done here or what?" Lynn awkwardly put forward.
"Well," Lisa began expositing. "I shall remain here under the care of-"
"Lincoln." Rita declared.
"I- what?" The man in question turned to his mother.
"Lincoln." Rita nodded firmly. "You gave Lisa the opportunity to do all of this, the least you can do is help clean up the mess you helped make."
"But I don't even live here!" Lincoln protested. "From the sound of things, Lisa's not even going to be able to move!"
"From the 'look of things', Ronnie's not going to mind." Rita snapped, and Lincoln felt his face sting in memory. "Your room won't take long to set up again, so unless you feel like paying for a professional to come in and perform all the daily care for your sister who is carrying all of your children- I suggest you get ready to move back home."
As it turned out; Ronnie did indeed not mind.
Lisa in the meanwhile would quickly expand, rapidly reaching proportions akin to an absurd cartoon caricature of an obese person- yet not dying thanks to regular doses of her 'formula'.
Her sisters would occasionally check in to see how she was doing, but their visits quickly stopped in favour of voice chats once she reached the size of a medium elephant, and was mostly a stomach with some limbs and a head attached. Said stomach was constantly moving, alive with a chorus of inbred children seemingly eager to re-enact their progenitor's childhood habits of pushing and shoving while still encased within her flesh- seemingly endowed with a sixth sense that let them know when their paternal progenitor passed by so that they could press their little faces through Lisa's thinly stretched stomach skin to stare at him with sightless eyes.
And all the while, one Lincoln Loud was there. Cleaning her, massaging her swollen joints, enduring her hormonal ramblings and just being very sad in general as countless tiny hands pressed through her flesh to reach for him.
A/N:
Thanks to Nuuo for Beta-Reading Substitute Sister and Broodmother. The Baby Boogaloo Omake is an alternate idea of how Lisa might have convinced the sisters to allow the kids to be born in that story, the real discussion and negotiations of how that happened will be revealed in a future chapter- but this was a fun little thing that would have fit the sillier tone of the earlier chapters of that story.
